Times I should've realized I was autistic

since finishing this video ive been officially diagnosed so ye B)
more resources:
- ASD in adults: www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/...
- RAADS-R Test: embrace-autism.com/raads-r/#W...
▶ THE TEAM:
AUDIO EDITOR: Cory
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#illymation #bean #legume

[@illymation]

hi I’m sorry I didn’t do a good job explaining what I meant when it came to self diagnosis - it is valid and I self-dx’d myself for the longest time because my past therapist (who was not educated on autism at all) refused to have me evaluated because she said I “didn’t look autistic.” I saw a new psych who actually studies autism, and I was properly diagnosed. The point I meant to make was: self diagnosing and faking a disability are two different things that I feel become conflated by others who aren’t in our position - because they have access to diagnostics and doctors who listen. And I only “agree” that self diagnosing is wrong if someone is knowingly faking a disability. I used the fake service dog scenario to illustrate this because this is a common issue my friend in the video experiences way too often: people claiming to need a service dog, so they buy a fake vest online, put it on their untrained pet, and that untrained pet will attack and pick fights with my friend’s service dog, sometimes resulting in her and her actual service dog getting denied service places. This is the behavior I’m against- KNOWINGLY faking a disability; not self diagnosing. Thanks!

[@Garrett.does.stuf_lol]

Ok

[@h0pl310]

@@axeanimation2417 She can! She did her reaserch correctly.

[@h0pl310]

I can relate to the self diagnoses thing, I have some sort of mental disorder that I don't know of, but its so hard because I don't want to tell my parents about it, people call me narssacistic because I don't always communicate well, I constantly say weird things and think people will laugh them off, and I will always do weird things that make me feel "safe" like putting my shoes on, then take them off and put my socks on and put them on, and I constantly tried to commit suicide, and I never really knew what to do, to this day 3 years later (Im 11 now) still don't know what to do.

[@illymation]

@@axeanimation2417 I literally got a formal diagnosis. I suspected I had it, my therapist (who was not educated on autism) refused to test me or refer me, so I saw an actual psych who does and they properly diagnosed me.

[@DeianiraJax]

It's amazing to see someone use their platform to openly support self-diagnosis. I don't have autism, but I know that this video is going to help those that do.

[@ordinaryextraordinary9484]

i heard someone tell a girl with asd, “well, you don’t ACT autistic” and she just went, “Oh sorry! One second.” and then started hitting her head while listing off train facts. 10/10 response

[@keymash-aimciamciamalk8630]

o h m y g o d

[@XxFloofyxX]

Yh my mum says "if anyone says xyz ur not autistic, but start rocking, hitting ur head and say no over and over" never did it, but id be fun to do

[@eenisoo5155]

It’s like the “well, you don’t look gay” “oh I’m sorry lemme just-“

[@sharkksoda]

I'm gonna start doing that now

[@Potato.00]

Damn that is a amazing comeback

[@Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears]

Important note. The things that people see as autistic and are the main diagnostic criteria are the things that happen when autistic people are overwhelmed and unhappy. Those "symptoms" go away when they are able to communicate, cope, and are happy.

[@eliannaross1285]

This is completely true. Sadly a lot of people think autistic people are just ‘over reacting’ and this is not true, my sister is autistic and has learned how to mask, this means that she doesn’t ‘act autistic’ all the time

[@NEON_YVANNE13]

Agreed

[@milesperhour2286]

Yup. I often have to explain this in school. And that and autistic people aren’t dumb which I am asked constantly “If you are autistic why are you so smart?”

[@LookAtThisHumongousStick]

Man I guess I'm just never happy lol

[@milkymoose]

@@LookAtThisHumongousStick smart. I am the 400th like on this lol

[@Minakie]

As a fellow auDHD who also wears glasses, I absolutely loved your analogy about people who only need glasses to read vs those who need to wear glasses all the time and both of them being valid. I might just start using that to explain stuff to people in my life.

[@Scootiepink]

I dont wear glasses but i have auDHD too!!

[@Wren-tl2yw]

Me too

[@arushah6421]

Hi. I'm a not autistic 12yr old who checks in with your content regularly. Somehow, I don't know how I missed this video, especially since its been a year. In many ways this has helped me learn about autism, and drove me to research more about it. School has falsely taught me that autistic kids are always in the sped classes or being autistic is a bad thing. Before watching this video, I met a kid a year younger than me who was autistic. Given my false beliefs, I was confused on why he wasn't in any special ed classes or, I guess, looked autistic. I didn't ask these things of course, for I am a shy 7th grader who knows that might not be that best question to ask when you've talked to a person like 3 times, but OH I wondered. Finding this video helped me understand that autism comes in different varieties, and I should never go around making fun of autism or believing that autistic people aren't as smart as "normal people". Thank you for keeping the videos real and informing the audience that might be misinformed, like I was about autism.

[@Cybersaturnlmao]

I’m an autistic kid who’s not in special ed classes or that stuff, and I’m glad you understand! I’m not in special ed because I don’t have learning difficulties like many other autistics. :)

[@TheRandom1212Channel]

good

[@bagface]

Good on you for taking the initiative to inform yourself! Many choose to be wilfully ignorant and it's nice to see a change for once

[@pfitz9346]

Maybe I'm just a little too old now days to know how the younger generations write but this is very well written and very well worded. ​@@Cybersaturnlmao

[@MelissaThompson432]

I grew up before autism diagnosis was common, and I was considered "that weird, gifted kid." Even the autistic kids with severe learning challenges, or nonverbal kids, were likely to be called (seriously, this was a diagnosis,) "retarded." And kept in a self-contained classroom, and, more than likely, not stimulated to learn anything. Please continue to carry the torch for us. The more light on the subject, the better. 🙏🤗💙

[@ZayJayPlays]

"It felt like the phrase 'just be yourself' applied to everyone except me." I cannot express how much I connected with this.

[@JDVanimations567]

Same

[@user-cy3lp4cl7j]

69th like 👍 and same

[@jennbrown6668]

Same

[@user-zr1nv1xg1c]

Same

[@sashamacdonald4278]

so familiar it hurts

[@wolfiegirlxox]

I told my allistic friend I thought I was autistic. He narrowed his eyes, looked me up and down, and said "I don't think so". I told my autistic friend I thought I was autistic. She looks at me for a second and says "No yeah that makes sense".

[@So_Indecisive]

I had that exact experience before I got diagnosed

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Same. I self diagnosed a few years ago, but told my diagnosed friend I thought I was autistic. She agreed it was highly likely. 😅👍

[@Soupy_Clouds]

I keep trying to tell my friends I think I'm Autistic, but they don't believe me, funny thing is I haven't told any of my Neurodiverse friend.

[@justanautisticnerd8969]

Funny thing, thats basically what happend to my boyfriend. I asked him if he ever suspected that he might have autism, because as someone that as autism, the autismdare was going strong. But he told me he didnt think so because his family absolument did not think he was on the spectrum. Few months later, he got diagnosed with asd. I was right.

[@catsandcookies443]

my friend says she thinks she has ADHD because she can't keep still. that's her only reason she thinks this

[@RealElequist]

I was diagnosed 12 years ago at the age of 18. I definitely relate. Stay strong sister

[@raekurz3701]

In the “you don't seem autistic” conversation I saw Eda Clawthorn (from Owl House) and started excitedly saying “oh my god- it's eda!!” 😂

[@raekurz3701]

And all the owl house references, like the characters!

[@breezybel827]

My little sister is autistic and she was so happy when she watched this and was smiling ear to ear saying ILY IS JUST LIKE ME! and you don't know how much that's means to me thank you so so so much you deserve the world

[@brynncess2228]

Omg this made me cry 🥺 adorable 💖

[@adeleyinfeifei]

Aw :'D

[@joselynemuniz9430]

Hey I know it's different but I have a brother who was diagnosed at 3 .. he is now 10 and doesn't know because my mom refuses to tell him he gets bullied for being different.. they think he will take advantage of it like .. he is struggling 😔

[@echo5435]

Aww

[@mr_marigold]

Thats so sweet!!!! Good for her!!!

[@elloelle]

“It felt like the phrase ‘just be yourself applied to everyone except me specifically’” oof i feel deep in my core. I connect so deeply with your experience. It aligns with so much that i went through too.

[@spacekidyt1198]

same here man being autistic and a furry is hard af

[@bequinhacn]

me too, i relate so much to her

[@aisue]

I don't know what is to be myself, I just know some things that I like. It is just me, or does someone else think that everyone faked their personality traits at some point, and just end up sticking with it? PD: I am not autistic( or at least not diagnosed)

[@LizzyBizzy._.]

EXATLY!!!!!! PPL DOSNt 𝔾𝔼𝕥 𝕀𝕋!!!!!!!

[@Shtickyaight]

Frr

[@xXxLirianOlendilxXx]

The owl house references popping up in the bg just put a huge smile on my face through the entire video 💜💜💜 thank you so much for sharing your experiences and having this awesome animation

[@Daughterof-Solangelo65]

And the Steven universe one!!!

[@izintheclouds]

YESSSS the owl house references made me so excited!!!

[@SoundtrackDetector]

This was intensely personally relatable. It gives me a strange sense of comfort some others feel the same, not like in a sadistic way, but it feels less isolating. Talking about this is hard, not only does it require bravery, but its also like... really hard to word and accurately explain. Im thankful for this video and the other people on the spectrum that have come to share their experiences.

[@Nawnii]

man, im so glad someone else hates jeans tbh, i have C R I E D about jeans before

[@venus6987]

Same, I throw up if I wear them 😭

[@theorangepersonman]

Certain skinny jeans have a more elastic material and feels like sweat pants

[@Opalisgrey]

S A M E

[@CJgreencheetah]

I know. I always felt like I was having an allergic reaction to them. My legs got itchy and burned and I couldn't stand to keep them on. Thankfully, my parents never forced me to wear them because they are expensive anyway.

[@jun3.bug.s]

yes, oh my god. skinny jeans especially make me so uncomfy. i’ve only recently realized that wider, straighter-cut jeans work better for me ;-;

[@knicknac04]

I’m autistic and my special interest back when I was young WAS autism. I watched so so so many documentaries about it. Every time they said it was “rare in females” I always got upset because I thought that meant I couldn’t have (not that I wanted it, just that I related to a lot of the struggles these people faced and I wanted an answer myself but I thought I would just have to deal with it on my own because I was female). Looking back today I believe the statistics were very off because little to no research was on females with autism, so obviously the only people being diagnosed were males and females that had “severe” enough symptoms to act like the males did. I even remember telling my mom on multiple occasions I thought I was autistic but she just shrugged it off. I don’t know why she wouldn’t believe that, I only wore basket ball shorts and knee high socks for nearly 4 years of my life, plus a winter hat even if it was 100° outside.

[@Sam.Sketches_]

Apart from the hat that was me as a kid 😂

[@Hidden_Remi]

Honestly I believe the “more common in males” thing is false and a stereotype. Autism is just as common in females as it is males. It’s just that males are getting diagnosed more, even though we struggle with the same problems and issues. Female autistic people are generally better at masking their symptoms, which is why they get shrugged off and disregarded, labeled as just “shy” or “quirky”, because of the stereotype. This is why representation and awareness is so important.

[@Yozzie941]

Yes it really annoyes me when people during my diagnosis said ,,Well you know that girls rarely are on the spectrum." And I'm like- SHUFF THOSE STATISTIC IN YOUR @SS AND START LOOKING FOR SYMPTOMS IN ME, FUCK MY GENDER WILL YA?

[@aikou2886]

The reason with female autism is not that well understood (ignoring the fact that autism is not exactly well understood as it is) is because it presents itself different in females and a lot of their special interests are relatively common for females so they don't stand out as much.

[@lunarcat3283]

@@Hidden_Remi That and originally male subjects were more researched. So, there is more evidence on how boys work with autism than girls.

[@Mechanic_Mario_Bros]

I hate it when people use 'autistic' as an insult because, SO WHAT we might be a little different, but we're still a human with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Also, this video is one of the most relatable videos I've ever seen. Thank you, illymation.

[@ArtlyssaG]

Thank you for making this and leaving helpful resources in the description. I related to a lot of this when I saw it and then started getting alot of recommendations on my insta and KZbin feed with Autistic creators. I took and retook the test in your description so many times and got the same results every time and today I finally got a formal diagnosis. So many things about my life and childhood feel so much clearer thanks to you. Thank you so much. I feel better about myself in large part because of you. Thank you for all your content.

[@vixy2321]

“It’s like the *be yourself* quote applied to everyone but me” Honestly that hit very close to home. I’ve always been labled as annoying and I never understood alot of things the way other people did, I get called stupid and/or slow for not understanding questions or following conversations properly/differently. I always thought maybe I had some sort of mental problem with me. Maybe I do, I don’t know. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything (yet)

[@TheBestInsects]

I'm sorry :(

[@alex.g7317]

Lmao

[@urgae9125]

@@alex.g7317 Wtf?

[@lyfetheleaf7835]

I kinnda feel you

[@vixy2321]

@@lyfetheleaf7835 Thanks, it’s nice to know i’m not the only one. Haha.

[@angelofdusk13]

I didn't realize I was potentially autistic until I was 31. I went onto autism subreddits and forums and, what do you know, all those little "quirks" that make me "unique" are actually SUPER COMMON in this specific group of individuals! Who would've known!

[@pixelzebra8440]

For the longest time I wondered about my older brother. He reallllyyyy loves talking about video games and puts it in every conversation lmao. And it’s kinda bad bc I’m am PURE sarcasm and he doesn’t get it a lot of the time. I still love him tho

[@ThePoodleEnthusiast]

me and my father has autism my father wasnt diagnosed while i was and then i spread my condition to my family from my cousins son

[@bluorb]

Same, except I found out from YT videos.

[@Idontwantayoutubehandle.]

I was diagnosed at a young age, with asd

[@Genshin34]

I’ve been experiencing this recently when I’m a lot younger. I’ve been to scared to talk to my parents about the possibility that I might have autism, and the more I research it the more I think I might have it.

[@wolfman122970]

I know this is an old video and you might not see this, but I had to comment after watching it just now. I actually cried a little at the end, because you just describe my home and school life growing up, pretty much perfectly. I am now 53 and have been to several therapists who never saw it, and was diagnosed with gad, ptsd, had an assessment for adhd and was mis diagnosed with borderline, and now adhd for which i am being treated for finally. But i also felt as you did, that it explained a lot, but not quite everything. I am learned to mask so well over the years that it does not show so much like it did in the past, which as you said is good and bad. I remember all the mimicing of my peers, doing and saying what they did to fit in. I remember being talkitive but being teased so much for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, that i became the quiet kid because I didn't want my feelings to get hurt anymore. I have said these things to therapists, but I could never say it nearly as well as you did in this video, so thank you so much for this. Liked and subbed btw.

[@geovanadalarosademoura3181]

"i dont fit in and I dont want to fit in." She is so relatable, and everyone knows this

[@christyclasgens9849]

Another important note. The spectrum isn’t linear!! The autism spectrum isn’t “low functioning to high functioning” or “more autistic to less autistic.” A lot of people like to say it’s more like a color wheel. But personally I like to use the sound board analogy. Each slider is an autism trait/symptom. Each trait or symptom is a spectrum of its own. And the amount you experience each trait can change. So your personal spectrum can look different and change day to day.

[@stratosfear1312]

exactly, that would be a gradient, not a spectrum :)

[@NekoChanSenpai]

It's like that pokemon game where there's a side thing and you feed them berries to influence their stat wheel for pet show type contests. It's the stat wheel part of that.

[@9ightdreamer]

I also dont like the term High Functioning or Low Functioning because I appear High Functioning most of the time but I appear Low Functioning aswel a bit. I like to describe autism as my brain preferring to be themself and refusing to follow the rules of a normal/neurotypycal brain.

[@xei2694]

This may be a stupid question, but is it possible for there to be an autistic person who is mute, but mentally capable eneough to consent to sex?

[@NekoChanSenpai]

@@xei2694 it is. Nonverbal doesn't mean the person has lower cognitive whatever. If you can find another way to communicate consent, it's perfectly fine

[@maxawsten3712]

At 4:38 "why would you joke about that?" really hit me hard. I'm ADHD and questioning if I'm autistic (close to self dx and pursuing formal assessment) and even though I make bad or mean jokes, most of the time if my boyfriend or others makes them then I get upset and ask why they would joke about something so terrible. It's to the point my boyfriend and I agreed to preface these jokes by saying "bad joke" then saying the joke. I logically understand its a joke and even make these jokes myself, but sometimes I just can't comprehend the joke or why it should be funny since it's mean. (Overexplaining myself and my behavior, another ding.) I'm also the king of sarcasm but half the time I can't understand it. What kind of logic is this lmfao

[@jamesklark6562]

All I remember is I would make rude jokes twoards my dad then be angry or annoyed when it was done back at me. I haven't seen him since early 2021 after being kicked out because I spent a month unemployed after my last job fired me because I was experiencing psychosis at work from insomnia.

[@henrymakin4798]

Bit of the same thing here - I am OCD and questioning if I am ADHD

[@hannaszekely1768]

An autistic creator on tiktok made a video how she can use sarcasm, because she know what she means each time. But when others using sarcasm, she can't tell the difference. So it would make a lot of sense for you to joke about something you KNOW was meant as a joke, but when others do it, you can't be 100% sure. Autism does have a tendency to make you literal in understanding. Also ASD and ADHD both has symptoms of being sensitive to choices of words and phrases. So that can also be a factor in your case. :)

[@spinelsmynameshrocsaremygame]

same lol. i use sarcasm too much but dont understand it when its directed at me

[@dragonit6836]

@@spinelsmynameshrocsaremygame I sometimes blunt with my sarcasm but only if people who annoys me, I'm also autistic but I have my sense of humor(I think).

[@AshLynn-co5qr]

The dishes thing was kid and still sometimes is me among other things as well. Didn’t realize I was on the spectrum until I placed things together and actually realized that something about me wasn’t like others. I was different, but was taught to be anything other than perfection. I’m glad you made this. It speaks for every undiagnosed and overlooked autistic and makes awareness of both the existence of people on the spectrum, and those who say they have it for clout and a trend.

[@LozFanXV]

“It felt like the be yourself quote applied to everyone but me.” As someone who has ADHD and many overlapping symptoms with autism (sensitivity to certain sounds and bright lights, hyperfixations, auditory processing disorder, overly emotional, stimming.) That hit me hard. The amount of times I was the "weird" girl during school was a lot, and I found myself either the target of pranks, or left out of social events happening. And I sometimes find myself still struggling with feeling accepted nowadays.

[@melsher347]

i relate to you 100%

[@user-gw3qv2wu3l]

I don't even know who I am :/

[@witchassbitch3]

I’m glad that some portion of my brain interpreted the “be yourself” as “be yourself in a *safe space* ” whether I realized it back then or not. Did I always see it that way? Of course not, but that idea being there helped me a ton growing up. Even if I couldn’t be *me* all the time, I could be *me* with certain friends or when I was alone. And that got me through it. 🖤

[@kittyrxses]

I relate a lot.

[@tamsi6768]

The second I heard that sentence I though "yep, that's me"

[@PoseidonSon2002]

For anyone who needs to hear this, ADHD and autism have a surprising amount of overlaps: sensory issues, lack of focus, hyper focus, issues with socialization, and so much more. If you researched autism and thought “well, it kinda fits me, but not perfectly” I would recommend looking into ADHD, because that may be what’s up.

[@josebuenrostro5639]

Other one, Obsessive-Compulsive They also have symptoms of this trastorn. Yes. It's hard to be accurate with a autism diagnosis

[@lotus.277]

there's also often comorbidity between them, it's common for people to have both :)

[@Sai_Gacha]

yup

[@Adifferentusername]

I have a story that relates to this. I was diagnosed with the autism and told i don’t have ADHD because “most of my symptoms could be explained by my autism”. Yet i relate so much more with people with ADHD i feel. I have so much trouble with focussing, executive function and working memory for example. It being chalked up as just autism feels dismissive tbh Really great comment by the way. Very informative for the people who don’t know

[@WyteChinpira]

I was diagnosed with every check mark for ADHD when I was 6 and I have adult ADHD now. I mean I have every symptom ...only difference is sometimes I'm very chill and relaxed but the hyperness comes in go for a day or 2 can come off as me being playful..but some days I'm so fixated on this specific task or hobby in my life...I also juggle with different hobbies ..(extreme ambition)?

[@avogabo_]

The visual/background references in this are absolutely gold i'm screaming!!

[@avogabo_]

Haruka Nanase 1000000% autistic coded i will die on this hill

[@macrooniix5505]

I really love this video. I never feel like I can explain how I am feeling myself or what I am going through. The small explanations or metaphors (I think it is??) really helped a lot. It makes me feel understood, which is a nice feeling between all the fear of faking it or telling anyone. I am suspecting things and I have researched for almost a year now, yet I don't always know if I am just tricking myself into thinking that or if it even is important to 'know'. I am doing fine and I can take care of myself mostly. Sure, breakdowns or whatnot happen, but compared to other people I often don't feel like I have the right to 'need' anything? (Once again I'm bad at explaining so sorry). This video helped me feel reassured and it was funny too. I almost started crying. It somehow made me happy and sad at the same time, and I want to thank you for it, even if I'm a year late. Thank you for the video and I hope you are doing well. (Also, I really loved all the small pokemon and TOH references, it made me squeal out of happiness)

[@angelsindisguise]

I wish i could get a diagnosis because hearing "you dont act like my nephew" or "my 'daughter' isnt autistic" every single day is so frustrating

[@marcey4207]

me too.. it's honestly interfering with some of my assignments and schoolwork even though i handle it to the best of my ability, i need assistance and to talk to a professional but my mom keeps saying "well my daughter isn't autistic because insert my cousin is and i don't act like him" 😃 we're not the same person first of all and second of all it's called Spectrum- for a reason 😭

[@haylee7951]

My mom has told me I’m not autistic when I make autism jokes about myself (because I’m pretty sure I am) but then she made a joke about it the other day insinuating that me and my sisters are autistic and get it from our dad. I’m not mad about the joke and I’m thankful that she can also make jokes ab it because that means that a sliver of her accepts that I may have autism.

[@yellow-oj3qe]

you dont understand how nice it is to see someone i really look up to have the same things as me

[@Urmom-ql7dq]

Real

[@werewolf.394]

Literally same.

[@DumplingDoodle]

representation :D

[@saradesmet8834]

😮same

[@TheBostonKreme]

The beginning bit when you want to feel the textured stuff at the grocery store was so relatable! It’s the little details that make your videos great!

[@RoyalDream34]

I may not be diagnosed with autism at the moment but I do know many people with it, and I have so much sympathy for you it sucks how people treat you and anyone on the spectrum for that matter, hopefully we move in the right direction soon! Also I love love love LOVED All the toh references!!!

[@TaylormightbeCobain]

I never knew I was autistic until I asked my sister a few weeks ago. She told me every one of my siblings are also autistic, including her and me, and my parents never told me.

[@MrPillowStudios]

I guess it's genetic then.

[@TaylormightbeCobain]

@@MrPillowStudios I guess so.

[@Inevitably_Invisible]

@@MrPillowStudios yes it does have a hereditary component but we don’t know what it is, but if someone in your family has it you’re more likely to have it, same with adhd

[@Anonymous-df8it]

Why would they hide that?

[@MrPillowStudios]

@@Anonymous-df8it Embarrassment.

[@strigijoe8685]

“You don’t seem autistic” this boils my gears and grinds my blood

[@justaguy444]

SAME honestly when people say that to me irl I just lose it

[@jambott5520]

I just start rattling off my autistic traits.

[@str4wb3rry_bl0od6]

I started actually getting worried that you had something happening with your blood💀

[@amahrrinsampson3030]

I do have some special interests. About 22% of them are cat characters that I have liked as a baby. Hopefully, I am not being obsessive about it.

[@wieldylattice3015]

You mean it makes you clench your teeth and grit your fist

[@tara-tagz]

this is so so incredibly late but I just wanted to say, the amount of owl house references got me incredibly excited because I'm autistic and I've been hyper fixated on the owl house for a while now... especially 9:44 it just brought me such an incredible amount of joy lmao that aside, I also wanted to say how much of a help this video was a few months back, I didn't comment then but I managed to work up the courage to do so now, it just really put into perspective for me that autism is a spectrum. I didn't understand then and I experienced a lot of imposter syndrome, but I finally got an official diagnosis a few weeks ago and it turns out I mask a lot. Luckily I was able to get this diagnosis early, seeing that I am still in highschool (I won't be clarifying my age, thats as far as I'll go) and I should be able to learn coping mechanisms and techniques from my psychologist to also help with my social anxiety, which presumably correlates to me being autistic. Happy discovery journeys to all those still on their way to an official diagnosis, or those who are suspecting themselves of being on the spectrum!

[@ismicemre4365]

Great sharing and animation too :) i m getting informed bec i have an autistic friend and i just love realizing how i was not informed back then and also questioned why they didnt teach these stuff in school or inform us. This videos helps me ( i hope for other people too) to understand different perceiving and receiving styles and solutions to them :) everybody is just different and we need to give time to know person we are sharing and spending time to, so we can connect more and be in a healthier relationship with eachother. Love the video, keep it up ❤

[@bearflipstable8365]

The thing with you saying “I can’t wait to see you fall” is REALLY relatable. I also tried to mimic people. When I was 10 there were these girls I would hang out with and were always saying “mean” things to each other. In a joking way. So I called one of them big bum. She looked really offended and called me fat arse. I was really shocked and skulked away trying to figure out what I did wrong, while they all looked at me probably talking about what a rude weirdo I was. Eventually I just gave up trying to be friends with people and sat alone more often than not. Teachers would sometimes find me alone and force me to sit with others. I guess because I wouldn’t be “lonely and sad”. Honestly, I’d rather be “lonely and sad” than in company that didn’t even talk to me and be confused why.

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

oooof i remember this too very well, trying to fit in with “normal” girls, trying to act as them to not be seen as weird, trying to listen to non-enjoyable music they listened to, trying to copy behavior and way of dressing and hoping it will all make sense at some point in my life… and then at some point just realizing it will probably never make sense (i’m 31 and it still doesn’t) and giving up trying to be ,,normal” . I did have the luck of having a passion early on so it gave me purpose, otherwise i can see how empty it could have felt ❤

[@jelatinosa]

My first memory of mimicking was when I was like 6 or 7. I saw how older people acted about children, and I personally never understood the appeal of children even though I was one myself, but I decided to mimic their behavior surrounding children. I think it was my sister's bday party and there were other kids and my family at my home and one boy that was my sister's age so about 2 years younger than me started acting "silly" and I said aww how cute, because I thought that's what adults thought if young children, and then all the adults started taunting me and shaming me for "liking a boy". After that I developed a strong dislike for young children and babies, which also earned me the scorn of every adult. I felt like I was damned either way, and so I doubled down in my distaste of children for many years.

[@higherground337]

YES I can relate to this so much. I still did this kind of thing well into adulthood without realizing. In college, I was hanging out with some new people once and this guy said something sarcastic and his girlfriend jokingly told him to "shut up." About ten minutes later he said another sarcastic thing and *I* jokingly (or so I intended) told him to "shut up." He didn't take it well...

[@fanciestfrenchytoast1207]

So we all tried to mimic??

[@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195]

@@fanciestfrenchytoast1207 Highly likely

[@father_mckenzie]

This is the video that made things come together clearly in my head after my diagnosis as an adult. What an awesome video! Thank you so much!

[@Astro.Paws..]

It’s funny cause people don’t even consider you’re autistic until you have a meltdown or get overstimulated etc.

[@salem-01]

“It felt like the be yourself quote applied to everyone but me.” Hits way to close to home. Over the years I’ve been very selective about sharing my interests with people because whenever I went on long rants they’d ignore me or tell me that I was annoying. I’ve only ever opened up to one close friend, who I’m still in contact with even though they moved 3 years ago. I just feel like there’s no safe space for me to express my feelings and ideas. There’s certain thing I know I can’t say because I’m me. Like, if i said a certain joke they wouldn’t laugh, they’d just give me a polite smile. If my friend said that joke, everyone would act like it was the funniest thing in the world. Edit: also the ‘You don’t seem autistic.’ Reminded me of an experience. I let slip that my brother was autistic (something that still haunts me to this day) and we had this kid in our class, he actually had Down syndrome but everyone thought he was autistic. He was closer to what people view as typically autistic, he had trouble talking and doing certain things. One of my friends immediately got it into their head that my brother was like that kid and asked about it. The others, who had met my brother, were pretty shocked (which I don’t really blame them for), but they all said stuff like; ‘Wait, hold up! He acts so normal, not like (insert kid in our class’s name)’ ‘Are you lying? But he doesn’t have any trouble with school!’ ‘He was probably diagnosed wrong’ I was so mad at them but didn’t speak up, because I was afraid. I’ve always been afraid of my friends because I’m if I tell them what I’m really thinking, they’ll hate me.

[@Rudiced]

respec

[@madisonm.4535]

This is hitting close to home. I eventually found people who got me. A lot of the people I really connected recently have been getting diagnosed with autism to be honest. Those who aren't are already nuerodivergent on some level. The closest friends I've ever had keep getting diagnosed recently.

[@salem-01]

@@madisonm.4535 i think I’m slowly starting to become friends with people who get more as well, but I don’t really know. Everything’s been super uncertain lately

[@giant_internet_nerd]

YES

[@krissydiggs]

Extremely relatable

[@jeio7737]

10:45 - *speaking french* the caption - beyonce 😊

[@holabuenosdias28030]

ah yes, beyonce

[@ahmetyavuz9437]

Yes

[@womankisser1]

Yes. Also im a frog

[@soysamdibujos]

It's true, it says BEYONCE XD

[@luigiboi4244]

Beyoncé eating a baguette.

[@violetoderwald6535]

Hi illy!, I'm a person who has A.D.D (Attention Deficit Disorder) and i have a boy in my school (no name) whom is ALSO autistic and this video you made on Autism and the Autism SPECTRUM is REALLY important and inspiring.

[@Laranimates]

As a fellow animator on the spectrum just finding it out, I commend you for giving to both communities in the way that you have. It was a tremendous feat in and of itself for me to get accepted into animation school on my second attempt (currently finishing up first year), and I got all exhilarated about it--but then I inevitably came to a point where being on campus was just getting too overwhelming in ways I wasn't hoping for it to be, and it had me concerned regarding how the animation industry just expects you to withstand being in a socially busy studio environment all the time. For us, that means excessive endurance-testing (or masking, as I discovered later on) to prove ourselves worthy of offering what we have as artists in a table of predominantly neurotypical people who expect us to follow the same standards they have to keep up to pace--and milk us for it once they know what we're capable of once we reach peak productivity. I hear a lot about animators (including a hefty portion of my classmates) having ADHD, but I never (or rarely ever at best) heard of autistic animators getting talked about and I thought, "well, maybe not a lot of us are cut out for the [aforementioned] standards [said] neurotypical animators set...?" The success stories of autistic people in industrialized animation are just so sparse & few and It seriously feels so utterly & indescribably heartwarming to see someone like me make it so far doing what they do best. Thank you. ♥

[@anjelloproductions]

I love how “non traditional” topics are being talked about by Illy. I definitely find these videos more personal and really helps those who can compare. This SHOULD be normal conversations. Amazing video and thank you for using your platform as a bigger voice for those who cannot!

[@heiagampee9965]

Psychologist and therapist also make everything a disorder to make others feel like somethings wrong in order to lure people in and gain more money for the business when in reality they make everything that’s human a disorder but really it’s fake don’t be so easily naive to believe everything that’s thrown at you. There are people who make up fake problems that’s aren’t real as well and put on an act with fake negative problems that aren’t real. Even negative emotions can be masked and acted out and aren’t real and you would never know.

[@rommix0]

It's better than listening to Jaiden talk about Pokémon for the hundredth time.

[@etansivad]

As a husband of someone on the spectrum, and a father of someone on the spectrum, this video is both heartbreaking to watch and wonderfully endearing. I love them both so much and wouldn't change a thing about them. They can do things I can't, and I can do things they can't. And we all love each other. Thank you for making this video. :)

[@DumplingDoodle]

these kinds of comments are nice to see. you always hear about the problems autism causes, and all the negativity surrounding it. it's a nice change of pace to hear someone speaking so positively about autism and autistic people. i hope i can find someone as loving and accepting of you autism as you are of your family's. i hope have a fantastic day :)

[@Laura-bs2hw]

this is so wholesome tell both of them someone on the internet likes them and wishes them a happy life this also applies to you good sir

[@exologically]

You sound like an amazing husband and father

[@kaylaherron2000]

This is all I could ever ask for

[@lilliewright5213]

Wow. Your character looks just like me...down to the hair color and length. I was diagnosed autistic at age 20 (I'm 25 now) and watching this video made me realize how far I've come. Autism is so idiosyncratic and unique to every person it touches and I'm so glad you're finally healing. Welcome to the club.

[@RikuYuki]

Just found this video and I really appreciate how well you explain things. I recently brought up ADHD and Autism to my therapist and it seems like next session we are going to have a more in depth talk. I always just thought it was anxiety/depression. Also I had to chuckle a bit at “talk to your autistic friends” while I’m sitting here like “but…but I have no friends.”

[@stars_inthe_sky1875]

what was your results? no matter what you have, your struggles are valid :)

[@milkycolaaa]

My sister has autism and is really nice. People shouldn’t judge people for having autism cuz my sister is really nice but in middle school she was bullied. It makes me sad because she is the nicest person I’ve ever met.

[@juliekeyse2912]

Tell your sister I love her

[@milkycolaaa]

@@asdfjkluwu yeah exactly

[@danieltwardowski1100]

When I was in school,the kids were pretty mean to me,but when I talked to my sister's friends they usually said "yu're such a nice kid" but I couldn't believe in them because everyone else in school hated me 😢 Kids can be very,VERY mean

[@milkycolaaa]

@@danieltwardowski1100 yeah. certain kids just suck. People with disabilities get bullied ALOT and its sad. it makes me sad. And, its not just kids with disabilities. Its just anyone who sticks out of the crowd.

[@yoshepop]

People at school tease me all the time by trying to say “I like you” or just trying to get my attention for some dumb reason. I feel like I have some autistic symptoms, but other than that I can’t find a reason for being teased :(

[@JThePerson]

god, i just realized how I'm still masking all the time. the whole copying what people do is a thing that I do in basically all my social interactions, including commenting on KZbin videos, which takes like 5 minutes every time because I'm thinking about how people say things and how do I do that

[@marble_sack_]

everyone does that dumbass... thats how social interactions work... you imitate the behavior of others to some extent. No one acts the same way around their freinds as they do with their parents, or online, or with a teacher, etc. it's called code-switching and everyone does it, even primates, scientists found out

[@JThePerson]

​@@marble_sack_ 'to some extent' is the keyphrase here. it's not 'to some extent' when i second guess myself all the time because im not sure if im behaving the way im supposed to in any given situation.

[@marble_sack_]

@@JThePerson i say again, virtually everyone has to consider these things in any social interaction. its a normal part of life

[@JThePerson]

​@@marble_sack_i'm not sure if you meant it, but when you say things like that, it sounds like you're disregarding my struggles as something that is 'normal' and not a real issue

[@marble_sack_]

@@JThePerson everyone struggles, you can understand your own, and other peoples struggles, without singling yourself out or thinking you are above other people.

[@user-gs8nk2zv5f]

Try combining undiagnosed autism with being bullied at school and living in a home where the parents don’t notice and just assume you misbehaved just to screw around with them because they’re unstable, and he bullies followed you home. It’s a beast especially when you begin to think you are undiagnosed with autism but no one noticed! Where was Illysa or at least Michael Turko when I needed them?

[@joecoolfan8534]

As an autistic person myself, this is pretty accurate. I never liked the texture of certain objects (most notably powered stuff like sugar), I've always been obsessed with cartoons/animation and would try to talk about it whenever I can, they're some instances where I find certain situations to be overstimulating, and they're some past instances where I didn't pick up on when people were using sarcasm. Also considering illymation herself did talk about her experience being autistic is one of the main reasons I wanted to check this channel out for so long. That and also because i'm a life long animation fan.

[@tinnagigja3723]

I'm 37 and I feel like I'm finding out that all the things I thought were my personality are just a collection of undiagnosed symptoms.

[@jaqkhan113]

I'm discovering these things in my 50s!

[@derda1304]

well, it's possible that you have one of the more rarer personality types not everything that is different from the majority is necessarily something that can/should be diagnosed as a disorder you are the most important person you have in your live. treat yourself well.

[@crowkita2010]

Same man... well except I'm only 13... but still

[@jimcrelm9478]

You can't be diagnosed with ADD or autism after childhood. You don't have a disorder.

[@tinnagigja3723]

@@jimcrelm9478 Oh, good. Thank you, esteemed Professor Doctor Internet Rando, for your informed, educated, scientiific opinion! I feel so much better now!

[@cipherbunz2612]

ok but the whole thing about "not wearing jeans until you're older and forced to wear them bc of sensory issues" is so goddamn relatable and really explains why i never wore them when i was a kid (and still dont) also i wanna mention that another aspect that prevents some people from getting properly diagnosed is lack of access to anywhere that would give me a diagnosis. like for example, i'm 99.999% sure im autistic, i related to nearly everything in this video, ive looked at lists of symptoms and experienced a ton of them throughout my life, but finding somewhere to get diagnosed where i live is extremely tough, in addition to the fact that i'm a girl, which as you mentioned in this video, makes it even harder to get diagnosed

[@eclipse_eternal8178]

God the jeans thing is so relatable

[@noahhager1187]

I have the exact opposite problem. I can't wear shorts because there's too much restriction but also not enough coverage. Wearing long *but not itchy pants is a thing I will always do

[@vavavijay8164]

It is

[@qtdoggy2787]

And im afrolatino afab and im 12..

[@clementine1169]

I only wear baggy jeans because that way they don’t touch me

[@Sophiesophily]

Hey, I just wanted to mention that I genuinely adore the hidden details where you showed showed like the owl house, Steven universe and more. I adore that you made this video and thanks.^^

[@TheHanner2468]

I related to this SO MUCH, especially the sensory overload. Using noise cancelling headphones and gloves (and socks!) Are game changers - dish time is panic attack time otherwise. Also I think I've found my twin 😂 I also have strawberry blonde wavy hair, need glasses all the time, used to wear braces, have always struggled with fitting in due to HFA, and have always been very into art and cats. I'm so happy to have some representation finally 😭

[@jessicajayes8326]

AuDHD here, I feel you. So called "experts" didn't think I had autism because I was female. I didn't get anything close to an answer until I was 15!

[@SakuraGirl31]

Me too. However, I was 31 when I found out I had ASD thanks to this video. I was tested as a child but most likely didn't get the correct diagnosis because I'm a girl. I got myself retested after watching this and my life is so much better now.

[@CSLFBDBDONJNEDNkNkwaf]

i am diagnosed because im female at birth. my "dcotor" said, "you probably dont have autism, afterall your a girl." I RELATE TO EVERY SINGLE TRAIT IN THIS VIDEO..

[@CSLFBDBDONJNEDNkNkwaf]

oh i mean i was diagnosed with ADHD

[@hannahleigh6152]

​@@CSLFBDBDONJNEDNkNkwafI misread your comment as "diagnosed female at birth" lol.

[@SakuraGirl31]

Yeah I have ADHD too

[@flowerfieldofdaisies]

the Jean thing isn’t just you illy, we are here for you. ✊

[@liamorrison4484]

Mhm, I got forced in sixth grade, and now they're the main type of pants I wear. It was really hard, but I'm a bit glad my mom made me get used to them because they're actually nice-looking pants, and not as bad as some others.

[@neonice]

Also 5:49 happens to literally everyone as well no matter whether they're disordered or not.

[@Sxftii_]

I now only wear bell bottom jeans I used to hate jeans

[@isabelt4132]

Same here i hate jeans.

[@kelencarter4766]

I would only wear leggings till 7th

[@pr1ngl3s518]

This sounds fairly similar to some of my experiences. Not going to say "that's me", just saying it's cool to see the similarities. Always had the thought in my mind so this is nice to see some slight validation. Thank you for making this video!

[@deliadonoso5789]

Your voice is awesome! You are articulated and the sound is great! 🎉🎉🎉 keep doing videos!!

[@emoskullfire9823]

My friend who has autism, has been recently been telling me that I might have autism and that I should look into getting diagnosed. I've been doing some research and it makes a lot of sense, and tbh it's kinda overwhelming learning this part of myself I never really understood.

[@babygalstar1992]

Same

[@moggy_moo022]

OMG SAME! my brother and friend kept telling me they think im autistic and my mum and school thinks that too. I done a test but it came back as unsure but slightly leaning more towards autism so they want me to do another test. They say it's harder to diagnose girls so yea lol EDIT: Cahms and school and my family think I have it and maybe ADHD too-

[@islalarose4750]

I recently-ish made an autistic friend and she told me to check the disorder out and when I told her "I think I do have it" she said that her autistics senses where tingling when she met me.

[@Drew-jh8wx]

My brother has autism

[@ashe4244]

That was me a year ago - I talked with my therapist after seeing something online similar to this and they diagnosed me with Autism more towards the Asperger’s side of things and when I told my mom, she said she’s always suspected it but wanted me to figure it out for myself. I legit went through so much shit and always felt like something didn’t make sense nor understood why I never fit in anywhere. I’ve been mad at my parents because it felt like a missing piece was put in and I could have had a different life if I had been treated and told about my ASD sooner.

[@elizabetholson1561]

I relate to literally everything in this video, even the part about not wearing tight jeans because they're itchy and wayyy too distracting. My mom knew I had ADHD from a young age but never did anything (or told me) about it because I still did "okay" in school. Little did she know that I struggled to listen to teachers, couldn't make eye contact with most people, could barely take notes, hyper-focused on unimportant details, and struggled in social situations; just to name a few things. This is actually why I got into reading in middle school, I couldn't make mistakes if I was reading a book. QUICK NOTE FOR PARENTS: please please please PLEASE tell your child if they are diagnosed with a mental disorder. Not telling them WILL LEAD to low self-esteem and negative thoughts about themselves. Think about it; If you are told over and over to not talk so much, to stop being over-dramatic and such, you are going to bottle your emotions up and isolate yourself. THIS IS BAD. HELP YOUR CHILD. They need support and keeping this a secret might lead to them thinking that you are ASHAMED of having a child with a mental disability. PLEASE take this into consideration.

[@ev3rmore3]

ME TOO?? ARE YOU ME?? MY MOM DIDN’T TELL ME UNTIL I WAS *14*

[@minecraftlover1168]

i HATE wearing jeans. i only wear them if there's no other clothes. they kinda restrict movement and can be hard to sit down.

[@positivea9111]

That is the one thing that confuse me why don’t parents tell their child about why there acting weird? It not like it going killed their child if they heard the truth. My parents hid it from me but luckily my older sister realized that my behavior was off since I was doing the same behavior ever since I could walk and talk. But before I found out about my diagnosis I was getting irritated with myself because I can’t control myself making noise which annoyed people, can’t control my voice volume because I can’t tell if I’m loud or not, and being very hyper active. And I tried my best but still failing, which make it more irritating.

[@SunnyMoonwilluploadin]

BRO SAME I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE JEAN PROBLEM- and literally everything else here is true, starting to make me wonder if i actually have autism (dont get me started on fire drills 😭)

[@Hauntaku]

@@ev3rmore3 I think a councilor told me something about autism when I was younger but I wasn't paying attention

[@The4stro]

why... why is this so relatable? i often have problems with "reading the room", saying things that are inapropriate or not knowing what to say when i get in trouble, i become nonverbal, just unable to say anything at all. i've been told "SAY SOMETHING" once when i was berated for something, and i just didnt say anything it's hard to stop me from talking about my interests when i get started, even though i know the person im talking to doesn't really care i sometimes have periods when i straight up don't want to be around people, including my own family, which makes me seem like i don't want to talk to them (i am in one of those right now) i too have been bullies in school, and i don't know why i get really attached to pieces of clothing. i've had one winter jacket for like 5 years even though it was so damaged from wearing it so much i hate change (which im sure is nothing, it's just that some people don't like change, and im one of those)

[@starlight5217]

I love how you’ve got all the owl house characters and a steven universe reference😂this is a really good video❤

[@asherdoug9526]

I like that you put so many references to the Owl House and other shows into your videos. I also like that you make videos covering topics like this, that so many people seem to skirt around or take at face value. They legitimately help so many people. Thank you.

[@Lim95]

exactly I was like “wait what the hell that’s Eda”

[@naisyadurraniromadhani76]

Yeah I noticed the Jughead Jones quote

[@ibexibex]

And "Turning Red" ones, like Tyler on 5:26 and 7:25

[@janakey0076]

3 guesses at what her current hyperfixation is! your right if all three were the owl house!

[@karolluxCovers]

Yeah I saw willow 😀

[@Letcharlieplay2545]

When you talked about 'shutting down' when overstimulated I definitely felt that. But at the same time, I have different overstimulation reactions! Some days I just curl up with my music and go silent. Other days I need to move a lot and pace around for 40 odd minutes listening to music while my brain goes nuts. And sometimes (Internally or externally), esp when I can't leave, I get very mad and snap at people around me.

[@kittycat1130]

I guess there are tons of different ways a autistic person is overstimulated, just like how people behave differently on the same emotions. I guess it's also a situation thing. My overstimulation look like I'm very active, but I can also shut down entirely. Which is annoying, because when I shut down my brain can be hyperactive, but you can't see that from the outside.

[@DarkMageNuggetStudio]

This. If I'm somewhere with a bunch of loud sounds going off at once, (Like at work when the phones ring, the oven timer goes off, and the store is crowded) it seems to initiate a fight or flight response and since I can't escape it, I get angry at the sounds. But if, say, my 3 year old nephew is screaming and throwing a fit, my response to that is sharp pain, followed by curling up, eyes shut, and plugging my ears until I can get to my desk and use my headphones.

[@onyxtheowl24]

For me whenever I go out to a place I don’t want to be. I always just sit there quietly. I always want to go home as soon as possible. I’m bored and I always lock up and stop talking. I usually know No one there so I have no one to stimulate with. I just sit there and listen to music or a video and wait. It’s agonizing. And it’s usually super loud. I’m not used to the environment. It’s sometimes really hot or cold so I either get freezing finger tips and a nose or my body turns into a melting ice cube underneath my jacket. Truth is I wanna interact with someone but I just lock myself up in the bathroom because everyone is so busy and occupied with their own thing. I don’t get how they do it. I wish I could go over and start up a conversation but I can’t. I don’t have the guts to do that sort of thing. And whenever I’m talking to someone new I’m always afraid I’m talking to much. I always wanna talk about drawing or animals or my cats or science. Stuff not everyone will care about. That’s why it’s so exhilarating when I can actually interact with someone I like in these social situations.

[@shczzma3083]

I’m the same, it depends on the day

[@mxochii5159]

Air streams affect me the most, they make me go non verbal

[@elhazthorn918]

A psych once brought up whether I might be on the spectrum maybe a decade ago, but never really followed-up on it. But watching the video, it's almost like you're describing my life growing up.

[@Motherismothering-poetversion]

I’m autistic too and throughout the video I saw owl house character and bluey which are two of my favourite shows and it made me so happy

[@MusicDecomposer]

6:18 “Pfft, you’re not autistic. Why aren’t you playing Roblox and screaming into the microphone? You know, a totally real symptom and not a stereotype.” (Yes, it's a joke.)

[@supersonic3262]

i cant tell whether if this is a joke or not a joke

[@lavenderquartz9323]

@@supersonic3262 pretty sure they’re just projecting

[@SirrSerpent]

I’m pretty sure you just made up a stereotype about autism to criticize 💀

[@tatistatidd]

yeah uh i can understand a joke and when somethings literal but this, this just killed my only remaining braincell.

[@l.p.3876]

@@tatistatidd what braincells

[@nickchambers3142]

I loved the owl house references! And thank you for bringing up the “it’s not just young white boys” part. It ignores so many other people, especially when someone’s looking to be diagnosed as an adult. Our needs change as we grow, and an adult who has trouble with socializing would be able to mask or adapt more than, say, a six year old. Our struggles still exist, they’re just sometimes harder to see

[@giant_internet_nerd]

I love the Owl House

[@anvithequarsonist]

I do too lol. Did you see the latest episode? I saw young Eda somewhere in this video

[@euphemialyraeyre8710]

And steven universe references, and totoro.

[@pesterbot7000]

and a bluey reference! :DD

[@anvithequarsonist]

@@euphemialyraeyre8710 i thought that was mei? do you mean the red panda? or maybe i didn't catch totoro

[@Lucky_Girl123]

I have panic attacks. I wont ever forget my old crush saying "youre doing it for attention. again!?"

[@vexywat14747]

I don't like how much I relate to everything in this, getting a diagnosis soon though and I hope I can put a label on my mental problems. thanks for all the vids you make.

[@anemouche5838]

I have been diagnosed with adhd, and i think i have autisim. Though people just say your being dramatic, its so frustrating sometimes tbh. I always wear headphones and ive been bullied and hated for no reason. Im so glad this video was made, because it is so relatable

[@HaloofWar35276]

I’m autistic and there’s two other kids that are too and we hang out so we call ourselves the auti kids or autism kids😂

[@catsboxesyt]

Same

[@Firey800]

Same I feel you

[@soapysorp]

*you're

[@Something.Go0fy]

I just commented about the same thing, so I feel this.

[@rhexxgreymane4121]

As someone who is autistic and deal with everything mentioned here, thank you so much for explaining things I cant put into words because explaining anything about myself is an absolute nightmare and my brain completely forgets how to organize any information. So, i usually tell people to "specify what they want to know" in order to give a reply but for anyone completely ignorant (not in a bad way) to autism has no idea where to start. Now I can just link this instead!

[@The_FUNNY_Commenter]

I swear my teacher yells a lot and it hurts my ears but my classmates say she’s just talking normal id never thought of that

[@9ightdreamer]

I also struggle with how to start explaining my experience with autism and what it is, its always easier to talk about it in my mind for some reason.

[@rionnamcleary]

I believe people can self diagnose as long as they do their research, because getting a diagnosis is a privilege that not everyone has, especially for poc.

[@nomedocanal8496]

im REALLY not sure about that. I really understand that "to be diagnosed" is a privilege, but I don't think you should self diagnose just because you read stuff online. I mean try to live with that until you can have the opportunity to be submitted to a test, so you can really learn about what you have.

[@Jazzatic2011]

And sorry to side track but had to ask. Is “privledge” an opportunity or an expectation? Or both?

[@nomedocanal8496]

@@Jazzatic2011 what do you mean?

[@pfitz9346]

I feel like a better solution is to work out a way to close the gap so everyone gets a fair shake at talking to the professionals they need but people need whatever they need to survive and changes like that take generations. So I am not surprised at all that people feel like they have to work it out themselves.

[@HonkTheMusic]

But it's so easy to keep reading the symptoms and convincing yourself it's definitely autism when it could be something else entirely.

[@IAMKINGMANNI3]

I relate to this video! I’m also Autistic and had very similar experiences! I did the same things to hide my Autism. I got formally diagnosed October 2023(2 months before my 34th birthday). I self diagnosed first and was told by several psychiatrists and therapists that I wasn’t Autistic. Then after a decade of explaining myself to therapists one of them finally suggested that I get an assessment. I was then validated after years of advocating for myself.

[@PumpkinPie-rd5dn]

I also have ADHD and autism, and a thing I found out that broke me was that the more you tried to get people to like you the more you pushed them away :(, so I used to rip off my skin and hair and let people bully me because it made people happy and gave them an outlet, I always wanted to help people. I’m really glad there’s someone who’s open they have autism too :)

[@imageword5576]

it's easy to end up in a toxic relationship this way too be careful

[@Lanhua.v]

yep... letting em walk all over you just so you can get a chance to walk with them. and then walking with them sucked, it wasnt any fun or cool like you'd thought it'd be AND you still felt left out. "alone in a room full of people" i think describes us very well

[@tuanly1701]

Tbh when I heard the teacher part I remembered that my 4th grade teacher and some classmates doesn’t understand disorders like adhd autism and ocd (probably social anxiety) which is so stupid like for example: ADHD: adhd to others feels like you are not normal and you act like hide in random peoples closets (that’s over exaggerating btw) and having a lower attention span then a average human nowadays which is 8 seconds but no it really feels like I’m always confused and and doesn’t have the ability to focus because of zone outs and distractions Autism: autism to others to others feels like “oh you’re a weirdo” or “dude wtf man what are you doing” but no autism is kind of like anxiety as described from a child OCD: ocd to others feels like they are always perfect and they have stuff organized theire way like a Karen but it’s really just an anxiety disorder people it feel like the brain is saying “dude this is so annoying we gotta fix this no matter what because it feels uncomfortable and I’m getting mad right now” Like guys can’t you just fvcking understand that you stupid people (I’m not saying it to you people with disorders by the way) like just let me be myself guys wtf *casually continues to watch this ilymation video after commenting that writing whole fvcking essay*

[@AshKetchum442]

holy shit. are you ok

[@cloudy_cat11811]

I used to pick my skin off when I was anxious. In second grade too :( I got therapy though and I do not do it anymore though I still pick scabs

[@mashthebanana]

One of my family friends has this "funny" story about me when I was a kid. One time my dad put some ketchup on my plate but he didn't make sure the food was out of the way so the ketchup was touching the food and I started bawling my eyes out and refused to eat it. My dad had to wipe the ketchup off my plate and redo it properly. My family friend always tells this story as if it's soooo funny but it's always made me so uncomfortable. Only this year did I figure out that I'm autistic and that this funny situation was an actual sensory problem, one of many sensory things that I continue to struggle with. Shout out to everyone who's on this journey of discovery. I've found it quite difficult but it feels so good to finally be able to understand myself.

[@edenweeb2067]

I have a similar thing but with smells, like if somebody was eating something with tomato sauce (ketchup) and they touch me or something sometimes I would pretty much break down and start crying and like if sombody touches me after doing the dishes it makes me feel like I'm gonna dye sae if they're hands are wet

[@edenweeb2067]

still I don't think I have autism its more related to my ocd, with sounds weird but that's just what it seems like

[@MonkeyDLuffy-rr3wl]

I have this with sounds & visionary stuff too. I can't eat with loud music, I hate eating with others looking at me & if my brother opens the door on me while having dinner, I get very stressed, angry, I have to stop eating & get him out of my room. I hate people chewing loudly & the sound that ordinary plates make when you cut something with a knife. I also always seperate my sides & mains & if they're already mixed, I'm a little bit overwhelmed, because "how will I have the perfect proportions?". If the food has something slimy & liquidy & solid stuff, the slimy liquid NEVER should be on top, ALWAYS on the side. Also, I work in McD & I put McFreeze & fries into my cheeseburger.

[@meatball7669]

I have this same thing to, but a lot smaller and subtler. Pretty much if I have some chicken on a plate but chips touching it, I have to move the chips away. I do it because I don’t want things like chicken juice touching other stuff. I’m fine with having things like carrots and potatoes touch though, as long as they don’t have anything on them that could get to the other food.

[@awakarikatase]

Eating food separately since I was born 😩💅🏻

[@num8]

Really nice video and animation. I'm 35yo white "dude" and had to figure out myself I have ADHD one year ago after a decade of misdiagnosis, which was confirmed by docs, and just figured out I'm most likely autistic too. So, if even being on the target you get missed, must be rough for a lot more people meaning more education and study on the subject certainly needs to be done. I'm really thankful to all the people sharing their experiences and knowledge. Also, to my friends, whom strangely enough none were surprised about my ADHD or ASD (with those having either saying "oh, I thought you knew." or "Well, yeah, obviously." xD ) Thanks again ! Keep the good work ^^

[@l3ga]

Honestly I love these videos as sometimes I struggle to understand how autism affects me but my experience often consists of: Hyper fixation Extremely awkward Shaking after conversations with strangers Sadness for little to no reason Linking to that, sensitivity Easily angered I find myself more triggered by interactions than sound or touch, as it is a spectrum

[@MusicDecomposer]

10:22 Finding people with common interests is not easy. My biggest interests are the PC game Speedy Eggbert, and the direct-to-DVD Garfield movies.

[@Lucifersfursona]

Have you seen the QuintonReviews videos on Garfield lore? I’m not sure if you’d like them but he (also know of a youtuber called Garf Gab that spends a lot of time on specifically, the Garfield himself) has a big chunk of garf content :)

[@andrearat7063]

I think i know the garfield movies, are those the ones in wich garfield is 3d along with live action actors? And the second is like the prince and the poor with a second garfield?

[@stanmarshsillygoose]

my friends at school don’t relate with me. It makes me uncomfortable. The internet is only where I can relate with ppl-

[@screamingopossum7809]

My main thing was the direct to DVD Disney sequels. Nowadays they're gaining recognition, but when they were released they were HATED.

[@nah....702]

oh youd fit in great with my friend group. nah fr tho finding people with common interests or who will even listen to them at all is so difficult. like no one wants to hear me ramble for 3 hours about the cinematography in a 30 minute episode or about the history of *inster thing here*. its hard to bc our interests can be so particular like "WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HOW TOASTERS ARE MADE" "IDFK 😭"

[@jessragan6714]

"If I were a boy, my mother would have talked to me honestly about my autism." You'd think that, but that wasn't my experience. My own mother was in denial, refusing the diagnosis of a doctor I went to when I was in kindergarten. It wasn't until many years later when I went to the hospital for a nearly fatal case of pancreatitis that I was again diagnosed with ASD (specifically, what used to be called Asperger's). It was an odd thing to point out when that had nothing to do with why I was in the hospital in the first place, but if they felt it was necessary to mention it, it must have been important. I've since come to terms with the diagnosis, and so has my mother. I suspect my aunt has always known. I wasn't the sort to mask my eccentricities.

[@miniclip1162]

We as a society need to accept people as they are. All the stories I read in the comments... I just want to make friends with you all and tell all of you that you are cool in your own way. The majority of people are just dickheads. I've always gravitated to people who do not fit the norm and stood up for them. They are more interesting to talk to and engage with even if it can also be a little more difficult. What I'm trying to say is there are people out there that would love to have you in their life. Find them love them. The other people don't matter.

[@Squiddit]

it's comments like this that make me realise how lucky i am as an autistic person to also have an autistic mum

[@miniclip1162]

@@Squiddit thats a very cute and wholesome comment.

[@RB01.10]

I hope you’re okay now! Pancreatitis can get serious !

[@jessragan6714]

@@RB01.10 Believe me... it was.

[@NightFox3D]

I love animations and is how I ended up here. I'm in my 30's now and I've been dating my partner who has autism now for around 2 years, I've been wondering recently if I may have had it undiagnosed for my whole life as I share many points of it, I was diagnosed with ADD when I was in elementary school which I've learned recently is an outdated term not really used much anymore, not that I did any treatments for it anyway. I resonated with so many points in this video and many things my partner has. I currenly only self suspect it, no formal diagnosis, but I fit many points, but at this point in my life, I don't truly think a formal diganosis is required. As long as I have supportive family and friends, I've had whatever since forever and continue to deal and live with it. I'm going to keep loving my partner and we'll get through all of it together. Great video.

[@arrowsoface5017]

Just wanted to say I HIGHLY appreciate all the toh character cameos in this video. I might be autistic (there's a reason I'm watching this!) and if so the owl house is one of my special interests so I got super excited when I saw them. Thank you for that little joy!

[@seadragonslayer6721]

I have ADHD and people think I'm just stupid and say I don't seem like I have ADHD which is very sad and its hard to cope I'm glad she made this video to make this more aware. Thank you Illy.

[@Cashcorn]

Yeah same I’m introverted so people act surprised when I say I have ADHD. I always knew autism and ADHD were similar but I didn’t realize they were this similar. Another thing I related to was being forgetful. I am so incredibly forgetful and I’m always shamed for it. I always say it’s not my fault because I don’t choose to forget things but people take that as an excuse for being lazy or irresponsible. Also I get sensory overload pretty easily so idk what that’s about.

[@MellonCollie64]

@@Cashcorn introverted?

[@NighttimeDaydreams]

@Cash0311 MSM & more! Having both autism and ADHD in conjunction is actually very common. Look into it. ;]

[@Cashcorn]

@@MellonCollie64 I prefer to be alone

[@NighttimeDaydreams]

@SkittleCrossing needing more alone time to recharge, rather than mostly recharging in social situations. With ADHD, it could also be called internalized ADHD, previously known as ADD. (Basically the same thing, but without the outward hyperactivity) Internalized ADHD is more common in females, because, well, society tends to teach them to internalize things more, to be less 'showy' or expressive; and due to gender stereotypes and worse criticism aimed at females with ADHD - but doesn't mean it isn't present in males. Hope that explains anything you were confused about. ^-^

[@ChipsDaCat]

My brother has autism, and this is a very good explanation of autism. He gets bullied at school and soon is going to middle school. I’m glad you are spreading the word of what autism actually is.

[@Chicken_JAC]

same

[@toughpuff1799]

Oh shit my brother too and I’m TERRIFIED.

[@mavviemavsters8465]

@@toughpuff1799 why are you scared

[@lcb2839]

@@mavviemavsters8465 that his brother is going to get bullied

[@ramssesvalenzuela151]

I'm High Functioning Autistic, and when I went from 6th to 7th I felt alone and isolated, I was made fun of but not bullied.

[@yeetyeet1603]

It’s really refreshing hearing some one have what i have thank you

[@sexisquidward]

I just started going through the options to get tested for Autism. So far it's pretty likely after my therapist did the pretest...though deep down I kinda always knew. This video, despite being light hearted, hit me like a train and now I can't stop crying. I really wish I could reach out to younger me and give her a big hug because I struggled so hard at different points of my life.

[@alynay27]

I've always hated my clothes and felt incompetent at basic tasks and social skills while consistently being one of the smartest people in my class. I feel like I like things to such a more intense degree than most people, and I've always felt different, and desperate to know why. I've always felt like its easier to connect with other autistic people, and since I've recently found videos of autistic people describing their experiences, I couldn't relate more. Thank you for making this, and have a good day everyone.

[@requiredparticular6831]

The problem that makes autism “self diagnosis” different from other disorders, especially in the US, is that the testing is cost prohibitive and providers have a hard time justifying it to insurances if you aren’t “disabled enough.” If you don’t need enough services then even providers will scoff.

[@finster3005]

Seriously. It costs 900 dollars, like cmon >:(

[@brighid51]

Also doesn't help that part of the DSM5 criteria for autism is: symptoms must impair everyday functioning. Like, just because someone's not impaired everyday (because they might consciously or subconsciously avoid situations that would impair them) doesn't make someone not autistic. They're still autistic either way.

[@wholewheatstingray]

@@finster3005 My quote was $2500.

[@heiagampee9965]

Psychologist and therapist also make everything a disorder to make others feel like somethings wrong in order to lure people in and gain more money for the business when in reality they make everything that’s human a disorder but really it’s fake don’t be so easily naive to believe everything that’s thrown at you. There are people who make up fake problems that’s aren’t real as well and put on an act with fake negative problems that aren’t real. Even negative emotions can be masked and acted out and aren’t real and you would never know.

[@ThePmso]

Also don't help if you have a culture of mental health don't care. And if you are a men, even less.

[@ShotaPit]

It's extremely hard to get a proper autism diagnosis when you're an adult. I was lucky to get my diagnosis when I was 17 at Seattle children's. All the things you talked about are things I go threw too. I recently learned that apparently the feeling of macron batter on my hands makes me panic, which it never did before, so that was fun to deal with. My whole life I was told I'd never be able to accomplish anything in life by teachers because I couldn't focus on the task at hand, because I'd take things too literally, can't talk to people I don't know with ease, act too childish for my age, etc. In fact when I was going threw schooling for ece the professor I originally started with, who was an amazing person that worked with everyone's unique differences and helped me get threw a lot of things that were hard, got moved to a different department and the new professor flat out told me that because of my autism I wouldn't be able to work in childcare. Flash forward to now l, I have a full time job as a co-lead teacher at an amazing daycare working with an amazing group of Pre-K kids. I find that my autism helps me to better understand kids because kids tend to have similar sensitivities as I do, plus kids like having an adult that actually plays for real with them and is fully invested in said play. Don't remember what my original point was but now it's don't let people say you can't achieve a goal simply become you have differences that'll make it more difficult. Keep working towards that goal and eventually, with help from trusted people around you, you'll get there

[@wingdingfontbro]

People say you will get nowhere in life and then you in the future perfectly fit in. People need to stop saying “yur not normal” like boi what even is normal never met her. Seriously tho what does “normal” even mean.

[@abhiswarakumbhare5468]

This comment is huge. I might not be able to read it is my brain shuts down

[@abhiswarakumbhare5468]

I read your comment completely! Yay! Also, um, I am glad you are successful and have fun with the kids! I couldn't think of much to say...

[@ixionn563]

@@wingdingfontbro Exactly. All autism really means is that your brain is wired a little differently. This applies to a LOT of people, even if the effects for those people may be less obvious.

[@wingdingfontbro]

@@ixionn563 just cuz you’re different doesn’t change the fact that people should respect you and your feelings.

[@PuzzledPlay]

I was in Special Ed Classes when I was Younger, I never knew why. But until recently I've been actually diagnosed with ADHD (and most probably Autism, they don't really talk to me about these things, just my parents and I'm quite a forgetful bean) but now I know It's not just me that has differences and difficulties, It comforts me in an odd way to know I'm not alone. Times pass and Times Go, But life is life, uniting, beautiful, chaotic life.

[@LanguageNerdsofia_]

Autism and ADHD is just the best creative humor! I'm glad someone got to put into a video everything I've ever thought for 35 years 😂

[@FiggityJones]

I also recently realized I was on the spectrum. Even though I was literally told by my college counselor out of the blue on like my first day with her, it still took me like 4 years to finally get it because I just had so little understanding of what ASD is. Still learning more and more everyday 😊

[@diamondkone]

That's great to hear. Some signs may not be as obvious as we think, and we are still exploring everyday. I'm glad to see you're supporting yourself and not letting it get to you. Staying positive is sometimes the best medication, have a great day! :)

[@inescosta2671]

I was also told recently about my diagnosis even tho I went to therapy as a toddler and I'm rooting for u. I hope u realize that for some reason you are living and that no matter what disorder you may have,you are worthy to experience your life to the fullest just like the other ppl btw thx for the positive comment,I wouldn't be able to write such a short but powerful comment

[@jamangel]

Lol yeah!

[@marnie5700]

This is amazingly relatable 2 anyone with a disability thanks for covering this topic lily

[@DragcoDavid]

I can certainly relate to a lot of these things... as I'm not just autistic, I'm 2nd generation autistic - both my parents are autistic too. So I kinda always knew, but never got a formal diagnosis. But even so... because my parents were raised in the 60s and 70s, they never learned some of the more recent studies and info on autism, so... a lot of my autistic behavior still went unexplained and under the radar. But me and dad also developed our own way of understanding the autistic mind and I guess I can share what it is like, and those with autism can possibly relate, and others without autism can helpfully understand. The first major observation we made is the sensory experiences... it's like we have no 'filter' for our sensory input, no way to regulate or block out what our senses detect. Thus we can get overwhelmed and experience with sensory overload, especially for sensations that we particularly dislike, as it is very difficult for us to become 'numb' to any sensory input, at least not in any sort of way we feel like we can control. This also plays into why we can't do eye contact very well, as from a sensory input, due to how we evolved as a species, we get a lot of sensory data from reading faces... and thus looking at faces and making eye contact feels like staring directly into a flashlight shinning directly on it. The second major observation was less obvious, but we pieced together this lack of a 'filter' is our short term memory, and that autistic people lack it, instead having extra long term memory. This short term memory sort of acts like a information 'buffer' where automatic mental processes happen... all of the social rules processing, all of the sensory data processing, things that are just 'automatic' for neurotypicals, as the information in the short term memory only lasts a few seconds at most. Autistic people don't seem to have this... capacity. It feels like we have to learn how to do all of these confusing social rules. Thus, at an early age, due to all of this confusion, I think this explains why autistic people crave stability and consistency - why we like routine. Because we are used to these things, we aren't overwhelmed by these things, and trying new things is often scary and confusing. It's sorta like comfort foods, but applied to well... everything. You'd feel anxious and trying to hold onto as much consistency in your life too if you struggled to make sense of the world your whole life. And honestly, I feel like those two factors explain 80% of autism - everything else is just everyone's different reaction to this 'lack of filter' and 'lack of automatic mental processes' and thus generally needing to make things habits instead, different sorts of lived experiences and things of that nature. Autism interferes with our early developmental years, and we spend the rest of our lives feeling like we need to play catch-up and learning to cope with that gap. Some manage better then others. Personally, I don't think none of this is a bad thing... don't EVER see your autism as a bad things. You're not broken, you are just different. We aren't weird, we are just honest with ourselves - we don't respond to social pressure to become something we are not. Sure, we mask to fit in, but we know it is a mask... we know it is not our true selves... even when the mask becomes so worn that it is hard to tell us from it, we know something is wrong... be yourself, be autistic, and be proud. For you are a master of your special interest.

[@dawnhankins9534]

I'm still learning to not mask. Realized I was on the spectrum about a year ago, and a lot of things clicked. I'm positive my father has more symptoms then I do, and the realization really helped us connect. He only talks about and cares about sports, I've gotten more involved in sport subjects and we have much longer conversations. The service dog thing holds a special place in my heart. My bestie has one for mobility support, and she passes out randomly. All 3 have been attacked by another 'service dog' it really amped up her anxiety. She no longer goes to the store without an able bodied person to create a wall/take over because she can't handle the confrontation. Please leave your untrained dogs at home! We love our dogs, but she needs hers to live a semi normal life.

[@supersonic_tumbleweed]

“it felt like the phrase ‘just be yourself’ applied to everyone but me” MAN that hits hard-

[@theLEGENDARYaxo]

Omg yes! Every time I try to be myself I’m seen as weird, hyperactive, sensitive, dramatic, and dang it i forgot the other word but yeah and everyone looks at me weird and if someone is whispering near me I get scared and afraid and I breathe heavily and I think they are talking about me. uh yeah probably should talk to my mum about that…

[@sketchysketchu]

i absolutely love the background art in this

[@michaelcorrigan6577]

2 minutes in and I fucking love this. This is great content. Great animation and comedic. Awesome! I definitely think I'm on the milder side of the spectrum. My BFF is most likely autistic as we both have analyzed ourselves and it has become quite the eye opener. It explains a lot of why he does things that truly confuse me and it explains a lot of my childhood and as an adult I was able to look back and say "oh" like a lightbulb moment.

[@amandine2153]

I have two siblings with autism, and I can say that a lot of the things in this video are accurate to what I've observed about them. Despite the fact they share the same disorder, they could not be more different. One is very confident and loud, likes to communicate, likes to joke, goof around, and the other is timid and quiet, the purest soul you'll ever meet. They have both have completely different interests and views of the world, so keep in mind that if you're researching on autism, be mindful that they are people too, with different interests, hobbies, things they're good at and things they aren't. So, what was stated at the beginning of the video, about how you can get pasta but several different forms of it, is a really good way of describing it.

[@vantruongthi9105]

ok

[@EmmaJohnsonShenanigans]

My cousin’s 2 kids are the exact same way

[@emilyprowse6729]

Same 😂

[@funkunko]

@@vantruongthi9105 what??