A conversation with Howie Rutledge Tran (former bethelite, elder & Governing Body carer)

[@HR3464]

Thank you all for the kind and supportive words. I sincerely hope that my experience will be encouraging for others. Most of us here who were once associated with the Jehovah's Witnesses religion understand all to well the pain and loss that comes from being in and leaving the cult. Hopefully, understanding what I experienced will help those feeling disconnected by the loss, or are in other ways hurting, to better understand that leaving was the right choice towards a healthier life.. You never know how it will all turn out. I would never have imagined when I left in 2006, that there was so much beauty out there. I would never have seen it if I had chosen to remain where I was. Life is worth the struggle. I wish you all the best. Cheers!

[@deani157]

Howie, when I left in 1999 the availability of stories and videos just didn't exist. I know the loneliness you spoke of, but it must have been harder for you as a gay man. It was hard for me, and I had so many problems, but I think in the time that you left it must have been really difficult in a different way. I really appreciate what you said about family and how you have reached out without success. I too, as well as many others, have done the same thing. It is mind blowing the control the organization has on our families. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

[@mn7607]

Howard Tran: I don’t know how many times I have watched this interview to listen to you. I see humility, love, compassion. What a life we lived! In bondage yet thinking we were free. I wish you the very best Howie!! You are most deserving of joy, freedom and happiness. 🌎

[@mattmatthewmatchuu]

Too bad your taken 😁. The elders in mexico where i was need greating are literally witch hunting and telling every elder body ive been a part with that they are looking for me and stop my gayness from wearing off on people

[@geet77777]

im trying to get my mom out of the cult. I sent her this video. We just want her back but shes pretty dumb.

[@nildagomez1216]

Howard I'm so sorry you had to repress your true feelings for so long. My brother went through the same thing. Its so sad.

[@jcastrellon11able]

I want to thank you for this amazing interview. I’m the son of a congregation elder whom has been serving in that capacity for over 3 decades. My brother was in bethel for 15 years and almost everyone in my immediate family has pioneered at some point. I left the org 2 years ago, met my current partner/boyfriend and am returning to college to enrich my career. To know that my story of struggle and pain is not untold and to realize so much joy can be had after the worst is over is very encouraging beyond words... Thank so very, very much.

[@HR3464]

You deserve a chance to live your life, to pursue your happiness. I certainly wish you all the best on your journey. Warmest regards & good luck!

[@jcastrellon11able]

@@godzoo18 always. At least a man is real 😹

[@thaisrocha4527]

Wow I think this is the best ex jw interview I have ever seen! Howie you deserve all the best!

[@massagetherapyforinjuriesf8197]

Still I am Inside .. but for awhile:.... I love very much when Howie imitate. the voice of those false worships of Jehovah

[@demontime1234]

@@KZbintubeyou1 Why?

[@Rellebell]

3 years later I still get goosebumps listening again to this amazing interview with Howie.

[@Ed30675]

I totally agree...truly an amazing interview and experience...

[@winkle1983]

Tears in my eyes at multiple points in this interview...and for him to have the decency and heart to help pay for grammas funeral flowers etc...amazing man and fantastic interview

[@pds002]

What a wonderful interview! Thank you Lloyd....doing what you do best, listening and allowing individual stories to unfold. It is a great skill. Your understanding, compassion and warmth show through. Howie's personal testimony is very powerful and helpful in so many ways. I found myself shedding a few tears - which is something for a battle hardened shunee of 33yrs plus. I am so pleased that Howie has found the happiness he deserves. He is such a lovely, caring person. I am so touched by his story and, John, you should definitely interview him again. I could have listened to you both all day. Well done and thanks once again.

[@ladyatlarge3844]

This is an EXCELLENT inverview. I got all choked up with him when he recounted sitting on the floor at the library crying. I felt that way when I had my mormon faith crisis. My whole life came crashing down. So painful at the moment, but so freeing and it opens up a whole world. So glad Howie now gets to experience everything that his life has to offer!

[@sensitivebrain443]

Thank you Lloyd. This is one of the most interesting interviews you've had. I wish Howie a lifetime of happiness!

[@dianacryder7523]

This is the best interview from beginning to end. Howie, Lloyd, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain. I wish you both, you and yours, a lifetime of joy.

[@kazimierzwaach7843]

Yes, right, that is the best interview on this channel. Thank you very much Howie and Lloyd!

[@Imheotep]

I agree, his story is moving.

[@kimbrochu6697]

Howie, you are a special gentle soul who has been badly hurt by this corrupt organization! I LOVE YOU.

[@orpheusuk8762]

This interview on its own makes Lloyd's trip to USA worthwhile. Insightful, and more. Thanks Lloyd, and Howie for agreeing to interview.

[@SusanGaskin]

I love this video and love Howie's story. It's hard not to cry at the 44:17 mark when he felt that his whole life had been a waste. It really is awful how JW org has messed up so many lives and continues to do so. Thank you for sharing his story!

[@15SecondAdvantage]

Susan Gaskin I felt his pain, I think all of us in this community have. Peace and love to you all

[@sadieals]

I think Howie has more love and compassion in his little finger than all those so called Christians. Great interview.

[@ddsgabo]

Lloyd. It would be awesome if you could have a part 2 interview with howie. Let’s make it happen!!!

[@jwfacts]

Incredible video. Howie's journey is so relatable. He shows that at every level of the organization, individuals know the truth is seriously flawed, just most are too spineless to recognise the implications and leave. It was really heartening to see how well Howie has been able to move on and build such a good life for himself and his family.

[@LloydEvans]

Hi Paul! Yes, it's an incredible story that highlights perfectly how manmade the whole thing is. It was a real honour interviewing Howie and helping him talk about his journey.

[@angelhernandex9979]

@@LloydEvans los ateos me hacen reír jjjjj

[@antoinettevorhees2997]

They are not spineless just afraid. When your in you believe it's the truth. You can't believe anything different. The people there are sincere. It takes forever to see the real truth about the organization. But when you do your spine gets real straight an then you grow a big pair of balls.

[@vanessakelly5993]

A wonderful interview ! Just felt for him discussing when he realised that it was not the truth, sitting in that public library. So it was never about being homosexual but knowledge which cannot be disputed.What a generous man , I wish him all the best in his happy new life ❤️

[@Imheotep]

I'm amazed at Tony Morris' cowardice in the audio clip with Trey Bundy. As "Gods faithful slave", and on his way to preach in the ministry, you'd think he would be Gods best representative to set the matter straight, and show the true righteousness of his beliefs. But instead he flees, even at the get go, he sees Tray and crosses the street, then makes it clear he doesn't want to interact with the comment "I don't know you". This guy fears men! He doesn't stand and defend his faith, he doesn't show faith in his teachings.... he flees from an opportunity to preach..........SHAME ON YOU.......#coward in the faith.

[@tomdimartino7361]

This is one of the best interviews I've seen so far Lloyd. Howie you are a hero. I'm not even a witness but there is someone that I really care about that is stuck really bad. Elders have made decisions that are totally bullshit. I am going to send this to my friend and I hope he watches this.

[@JaneMoreland]

What a very touching interview. I can relate to Howie's pain when he realised that it wasn't the "truth". My heart also went out to him with the shunning from his mum and grandma. There is nothing on Earth that should get between the love and natural bond of family members. I wish you, your husband and children all the happiness in the world.

[@lucyburton7604]

Recently found the strength to start watching this channel. Have found so so much help and comfort, but listening to you has moved me more than i thought i was still capable of. Left the truth and an abusive husband 11 years ago and have felt almost total emotional numbness since. The calm and unbitter way you tell your story, along with the humour you throw in has affected me deeply. I'm so glad that you're now able to be who you really are and wish nothing but love and happiness for you

[@khanwh74]

Touching interview. Your impersonation cracks me up and it's spot on! More of that please. Very sad as we all have our awakening moments and realized we wasted a lot of time.

[@falling043]

This was Lloyd's best interview yet.. very moving story, well told by Howie! lots of emotions from my jaw-dropping to laughing and then to tearing up.. must have been so difficult for him to leave.

[@SirEcasnoopy]

Thank you so much! As someone who left and who also struggled of accepting myself as a gay man, I was able to relate so much. No amount of words can express my gratitude to you both!

[@richardvsassoon5144]

It was told to me by a good friend recently, after a visit to Vietnam with his wife who emigrated here after the war, that the people of Vietnam do not hate the Americans, despite all the damage we inflicted on them and their Country. But among her family are members who belonged to both sides - North and South - and there is where the rub is... They simply cannot stand to be in the same room with a family member who belonged to the other side. Great interview Lloyd and thank you, Howie for all your insight. As a former Bethelite, who knew many of the ones you spoke about, lived with them, went to the same Congregation...They were just men, some you liked...some not, but thank you for granting them a humanness, not some mysterious monsters who knowingly wreak havoc on the lives of millions. They inherited a legacy that consumed their lives and those around them.

[@kevinhahn3286]

Love you❤ and John ty for bieng wonderful

[@TheKoolbraider]

What an incredibly strong young man. Wise and very human enough to admit when he is questioning something. A long and happy life to him and his partner and children. And he will be a wonderful and compassionate parent.

[@christyb.2272]

Howie, my husband and I left after 30 years as JW’s. I’ve heard a lot of stories but yours made me cry. You are the dearest, sweetest person and thinking of your struggle and the loneliness and depression and loss of loved ones that you went through touched my heart. I wish John would ask people if they gave up believing in God, and I hope you have not. The JW’s do not represent HIM. Unfortunately, they mess up so many people and ruin lives and separate families as they did mine and cause so many to stop believing in God. I not found another religion but I refuse to give up my belief in God. You seem like such a good hearted man and I congratulate you on becoming an R.N. Wishing you all the best.

[@waynedent2217]

This is the most fascinating interview on the subject I have ever seen. Thank you for your honesty and love in telling your story. Thank you to the interviewer for recognizing the value of this interview!

[@ruthieboots4325]

Not finished watching yet but this guys openness and sincerity shines through. What a lovely man and brilliant interview, thank you very much.

[@thebirdwhoflew312]

Fantastic and moving interview. Thank you to you both for existing. Thank you.

[@steeldutchess]

Absolutely amazing! Thank you so much for this interview. I just wish he talked about his girlfriend in Bethel. He spoke about her on some JW podcast. I was hoping he'd mention that experience again, because it shows he DID try so hard to "cure" his sexual orientation, but had to learn that it is simply nature, uncontrollable nature.

[@jewelpembroke6406]

Your such a sweet and loving man Howie thank you for sharing your story! It's wonderful you and Loyd have a friendship. Great interview so natural ❤ Glad to here you have a new and happy life ❤

[@annetteblack6882]

I've heard Howie's story on the Podcast before but seeing him in this video was fantastic!! He has overcome many many obstacles to be truly free and happy... His story is inspirational yet heart wrenching at the same time in regards to his Mother and Grandma with the shunning. Best Wishes Howie to you and your family❤

[@kathyborthwick6738LakotaEmoji]

Awe! Howie-I am a Lakota Youth Elder! I am a great grandmother and have many grand children and great grandchildren 17 all together! If you ever want a virtual grandmother, I am here! I live in Crestón BC but come from Pine Ridge South Dakota! Aho Mitakuye Oiyasin Mita Kolas! Fantastic interview! ✨🪶✨🕊🪶🕊🪶🕊👵🏽👋🏾 🦅🪶🦆🪶🦬🪶🐃🪶🐎🪶🦌🪶🐄

[@JS4192]

Thank you to Howie for doing this interview, I think I’ve watched it 3 times over the last 2 years during my waking up process. Very helpful, thank you!

[@franchescaceleste2154]

When I saw Mr.Rutlege Tran tear up I totally understanded him. I can so profoundly relate. Not alone at all😊😊😊 much love,support n hug to him

[@sharonlarin]

Just watched this 4 years after the fact, Howie you come across as such a wonderful loving person, I wish for you only what you deserve, the very best in life.

[@cmfernandez9283]

I KNOW HIM!!! I came to this video after the Pillowgate rebuttal based on Lloyd's recommendation. Brother Rutledge was a member of my congregation, the Autumn Congregation in Brooklyn, NY. He was my absolute favorite person. I even visited him at Bethel with my Dad. He lent me a book when I was about 13 years old called "Purple Triangles" the story of a JW during the holocaust. I cannot believe that I found him this way. I have to find a way to contact him.

[@JimCampbell777]

I could have easily listened for another 2 hours. This was the best interview, delivered in a very honest and sincere way AND without whining, that I have ever seen by an ex-Jehovah's Witness.

[@SupahNin10dohp]

Holy shit Howie! Become a voice actor mate! That impression was brilliant. I had to look at the screen to make sure it was still you.

[@danielkrawisz8345]

Great video only it wasn't nearly long enough. I want to hear more from Howie about experiences with the governing body!

[@pikkadollen]

Thank you for sharing Howie. I'm as sorry for your loss, wasted time and self-torment as i am happy for your very rich life you now have. I was very moved by your story and wish you, and your family, love, health and happiness.

[@cmfernandez9283]

My heart is full hearing Howie's story. He was so kind to me as a young boy when I was struggling with my own sexuality. I am so happy to see how his life turned out.

[@pixels2u]

Amazing interview. Big hugs to Howie. We all have that grievous regret of wasted time that we've learned to live with, but it can bubble out at times. Yes to to lean times, yes to much healing, yes to no regret ever for leaving. Oh man, wiping the tears, love this interview, much love to you both. Many thanks

[@greg27zz]

Fascinating and very moving interview. Thank you.

[@edgarsteele]

outstanding interview; thank you Lloyd & Howie! Sorry that I missed you during your US tour Lloyd.

[@Goghvangoghandme]

Thank you for sharing your story Howie!!! I fell in love with you when you spoke about your 'ah-ha' moment and tears came to your eyes. You are such a lovely person, I echo other comments that I too wish I could hug you and tell you thank you!! I am so happy you have a loving husband and two wonderful children! May you be blessed with many more wonderful years together!!! Thank you Lloyd for another great article!

[@dianacryder7523]

Oh holy mother of pearl! This interview is priceless. Thank you so much for this insider's view of the organization! Priceless! Just priceless! The truth about 'the truth!"

[@juliefreeman4993]

Inspiring interview, what an amazing man, such courage. I’m out since 29/7/20. Just a short time but my fear of being dumped and left to face life on my own was frightening. I’m 61 now and a widow of only 3 years, 39 years of my life down the drain. But I’ve got some life left and I will live it to the full. Howie....all the very best to you and your family. I’ve saved this video for other jw’s that wake up. Lots of love. Julie

[@Jack-lw5oo]

Fantastic interview,so glad you are free brother

[@garymarshstein8992]

Howie, don't ever doubt the impact your interview has made. Thank-you and I couldn't admire you more.

[@72roakie]

Thank you so much Howie for sharing all these stories. I hadn't heard them before but I'm so glad you posted a link to this interview on your recent FB post. You seem to be a kind and generous soul and you deserve to be happy outside the JW organization. I left in 1997 when I came out as gay, after being a married ministerial servant and regular pioneer. So I know how difficult it can be. But you're right, it's definitly worth it. I'm so sorry to hear of the heartbreak you've been going through recently -- how terrible -- but you have shown you are very strong and self reliant and those qualities will carry you. I wish you all the best.

[@vandalayindustries8036]

Great interview. Wow to hear those GB stories would be amazing. He reflects what so many of us have been through emotionally. Well done.

[@riseupnow7037]

This is by far, the best video you have posted (in my opinion)! So many things I can relate to. Wow, so proud of Howie. I can’t even imagine how he lived that life! Thank you for this awesome interview, Lloyd!❤️

[@elladefleur7076]

Such an amazing story! I am very sorry for Howie's loss, but yet so happy for how his life has turned out. Good luck to you Howie in everything you plan for your future! Loyd, I love your videos, but this one has really touched my heart (this is the first time I post a public comment btw), thank you and Howie so much for it - great work guys! I am not a ex - JW, but I have met few people in my life who were, it always seemed to me such a sad way of living one's life, especially as far as discouragement of young people to pursuit higher education is concerned. Keep up the good work Loyd in helping witnesses wake up and informing non-witnesses about the astonishing crazy believes the Watch Tower pushes on its followers.

[@kristinaberger4853]

Wishing you and your family so much happiness Howie! Thanks for sharing your story.... =)

[@joewoe1977]

The most captivating interview thus far. Keep going.

[@auntfancy6915]

I loved this interview and I hope that you do another one with Howie. I would love to hear more stories from his time at Bethel. I am happy for Howie that he found someone that he can be happy with and not have to hide who he truly is because no one should have to live that way. Val O'Connor

[@bennyg7090]

I feel so sorry for this man and how his family abandoned him. He is such a strong man. wow

[@erk3893]

I enjoyed this video so much. It is most definitely my favorite interview so far! Thanks for sharing your story and have the courage to stand up and be who you are.

[@philipwest4553]

That was a very good interview and I am very pleased that he has a partner, children, and a marriage. He seems a good fellow.

[@grammawpayton]

What a brilliant interview, thanks so much for this and much appreciation to Howie♥

[@sisteray3539]

Thank you Lloyd and how it for this interview. Thoroughly enjoyed it! I teared up at some of the more heart wrenching moments, same as Lloyd's story about cutting his dad's hedge :( it's amazing what the human spirit can overcome and the work you are doing to educate and support others is a credit to you buddy x

[@amsevensix]

This is such a great interview! Howie, you are GOOD! Such a kind soul indeed! I'm sorry you lost your grandmother and mom that is heartbreaking. I''m happy to hear you have a family of your own now. What a joy! Thanks for this Llyod!!!

[@kerry_kaye]

Howie, Your such an inspiration to us all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. Love to you and your beautiful family.

[@CarmP]

Mr. Evens- thank you. Dear Howie, your story is beautiful and eerily familiar. I want to acknowledge your courage and say that I am sorry you had to go through such a difficult journey. I am so happy for you and your current beautiful life with your earned blessings that come with children. Know that you are loved and have always been beautiful just as you are. I send you light as a former gay X-JW. Sincerely, Carm

[@mwilhelmindetroit]

It takes a hell of a person to see that his whole world view is deeply flawed and not just go on in denial. Kudos, my friend!

[@vocerovoceros9900]

This brother is simply wonderful. It is very sad that his mother and grandmother did not value him. His experience of self-improvement and strength is incredible and can help many of our young people who are in similar situations right now.

[@thecultoftintin]

Wow what a story. Thanks to you both for airing it.

[@danysercia]

What an amazing,inspiring story. It really brings me to tears. Thank you so much for making this

[@steann1]

Beautiful story.....your road was bumpy and you crashed a few times on the way but your destination was reached and your face shows your happiness. Thanks for sharing.......make sure your kids have a brighter outlook and teach them everything.

[@abi_withafatty]

This is probably one of my favorite interviews ever!

[@dexterruiz6386]

WOW I really enjoy howie interview, him like myself new from a very young age that we were different (gay) I was also born in the truth and all my family is jehovah waitress, I also left and like had to find my way in world you really don't know just had read about, only that howie did it right I was lost depress and and started using drugs to not feel not care. Thank you for sharing your story give us some relief? Everything he said I understood, wish I would found a friend like him

[@keion10x]

I've had so many crying moments now that I'm awake. I drive alot for work and when i go pass a kingdom hall i want to just bulldoze the building

[@FardtilUshid]

You doing better now?

[@bennyg7090]

oh my I love this man Howie. He is very funny , articulate and intelligent. His impressions are great

[@kimdoe5889]

I love this upload. Very interesting!

[@marvincderuyscher9676]

This is a really great interview. It was worth rewatching. Thank you Lloyd! Best wishes and happiness to you and your loved ones, Howie.

[@Aylysh]

Blessings and hugs Howie and Lloyd. Understand exactly every bit of this...been there, done that

[@mccallzupke3564]

I love Howie!! What a great interview.

[@laurav715]

I have laughed and cried watching this interview. It just goes to show no matter how deep you are in the "false truth" there is always a way out and a life happily ever after. I wish you and your family all the best Howie. I have watched most of your videos and now feel it's time to put pen to paper and document my story and the damage it caused for over two decades. Thankyou for giving me the courage to do this.

[@gennakrokodil1]

What an inspiring experience! As a gay man growing up in JW world a totally relate to it.

[@truenotdrew8077]

What a great interview! Keep up the great work!

[@camobuff]

amazing interview learned many things. Thank you so much so howie am happy you found happiness despite hard times cant wait for next interview.

[@bearwoody]

Howie...if I can switch up a famous line from the film Chinatown, I'd like to tell you that I'm your brother, AND your sister! So very glad to actually see you in this, after only hearing you on the Podcast awhile back. I shared the same accusation from my mother that you received from your grandmother...that I had been intentionally deceiving everyone all along. And I thank you so much for the way you reframed it: Anything to keep from thinking that it's not "the truth." Our being honest, open, and truthful is absolutely terrifying. Perhaps physicists are wrong...you're proof that light CAN escape from a black hole. Thanks to you as well, Lloyd, for another wonderful video.

[@joshuatoliver1871]

This is amazing. I can't wait to share this with my family

[@milham76]

I was glued to this from start to finish. What a fascinating speaker Howie is. I would love to have heard some of his talks when we were both in. Lloyd too is the perfect interviewer....he listens intently and asks great questions. I absolutely loved this. Thank you.

[@exjwwatchingthewatchtower2806]

Wow - Superb interview. Thank you for sharing. Sending Howie a huge hug and lots of love.

[@gayeb662]

"I was appointed an elder at 24. I was a young elder." This is such a clear example of how mindlessly we accepted things. The words didn't even have real meaning. "Young elder". Ridiculous. Studying dogma = knowledge. Living life = experience. Studying dogma AND life experience SHOULD = wisdom. But in JW it doesn't.

[@BeboldMichael]

This is my first time ever making a comment. Howie what a wonderful interview in my opinion, the best I ever heard. Thank you so much and I wish you the best.

[@ewaz_]

It’s the second time I’m watching this interview after 4 years and again, like Howie, I came to realization how many years I lost thinking I’m doing something important… we’ll never get back the time, how sad…

[@kalobrogers235]

Thank you John for your pursuit of the REAL truth. And this interview specifically, it has shed a bright light on the JW community.

[@samanthamendoza3012]

Amazing. I felt all of this. Been physically out for 4 years but barely am getting mentally out. Thank you for this and all these comments this brave community.

[@randygalbraith2553]

Howard I've watched this interview before, but found myself watching it again this evening. So powerful! "the gay 14-year-old boy is still there" (44:33) what a powerful simple statement and realization! I hope everything is going well in your life. Cheers, -Randy

[@brandiruble2987]

#HowieRutledgeTran ,Thank you for sharing your journey to waking up from the Borg. I would enjoy hearing more from your days inside as I can only imagine what you had seen much less over heard. Perhaps writing a book could be in the future. This interview touched my heart, your a beautiful person for helping with your grandmother's final expenses. That shows exactly what unconditionly love is for family regardless of past issues. I happy to see you finally got to be you to me that is what's life is about. Big hug and blessings uo.

[@chrissyparkins1615]

When I was PIMO, I was well known in my community for my music and singing, and one of the women I sang with was a well known lesbian. Because of this, I got hauled into the back room, and the elders (one of whom was my DAD) tried to FORCE me to give up the addresses of every homosexual in the community. They KNEW I would know this information, because I was also a school bus driver, and I knew my tiny community. I refused to give them the information. Interestingly, this was directly after the ‘tight pants’ incident. When I was watching that broadcast with my congregation, I walked out in disgust. Imagine the SCANDAL!!! A MS’s wife, COB daughter WALKED OUT 😂😂😂

[@cindyarnold7322]

Oh, this poor man! He is so familiar to me on so many levels. My heart goes out to him. My mother never treated me that way when I left. Glad to hear he is happy now with a great partner and kids!

[@RaesZen]

Howie is so talented...I love the way he is able to mimic the GB members.

[@BlackFlagHeathen]

He impression of Barr had me in stitches! 🤣😂

[@johnnylavery5512]

Funny logic...let's "fix" Howie by putting him in an envrionment with 2000 dudes in NYC.

[@ispie69]

"Satan is planting archaeological evidence"...best line ever!!!! (around the 25min mark)

[@sinematic06]

i-spie LMAO!!!!

[@historicalbiblicalresearch8440]

Satan is used by most religions to plug logical fallacies & plot holes. A very useful chap.

[@jacksonemory4358]

Was that the context? Or a joke about loopholes?

[@joellenaude729]

Beautiful interview. I wish you all the best Howie

[@kindforge]

I'm just now seeing this interview and it is so fascinating. My mother's childhood friend actually works as carer to one of the governing body members now. I don't know her well at all but I thought it was interesting how close to the curtain she is. This really helps to conceptualize some of the things she'd see... Thank you so much to Howie for this amazing interview. As a gay ex-JW, I can just feel the feelings and empathize. All the luck to you.

[@angelhodgkins2612]

I also wanted to go to Bethel for the same reason, because I thought I was broken and that would fix me, but since I was female they didn't want me, thank goodness for that haha! Of course being treated as a second class citizen for being female just added to the lack of self worth I felt for being attracted to women. Thank you for sharing your story Howard!