A different way to think about LOVE BOMBING

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[@youngblood8540]

Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the one who you thought would never hurt you.

[@Greenawareness188]

True , sorry for your pain .

[@CSGhajar]

This is the ground zero of my trauma with my narcissist parent.

[@TylerTour]

But, eventually, with more and more folks who do this to you, you're just not being smart

[@hoppenbrauer17]

How well I can relate to this sentence! When the disregarding starts, it feels unreal. Unbelievable. 'Noooo! How could this person be doing this?' Of course, you HAVE sensed that it often seemed 'too good to be true'. Too many heart emoticons, too much mirroring, too many compliments that seemed to come out of a novel...but despite certain alarm bells, you allowed this person into your heart.

[@user-dt1vz4ce2w]

Yes,is it very painful,no matter from whom is coming 🤔🥹

[@sushmayen]

Most people stay in these relationships because of few good moments due to love bombing..but its really a lifetime of heartbreak and sadness

[@denisedevoto5703]

I stayed in my miserable marriage for 18 years because I thought it was normal, my parents are toxic too. When I discovered what narcissism was, I left my husband that year. Sometimes, ignorance about narcissism is the reason people stay.

[@KingRandor82]

As I explained on my Autism advocacy blog, it may not be genuine, but it was more than the absolute nothingness I was getting from everyone *else* ....well the everyone else who conditioned me *for* the abuse I endured in those relationships.

[@Sirg17x]

I was in it for 11.5 years. 6.5 married due to this. I knew there were bad moments. I thought the good outweighed the bad and thought it would get better if I tried harder, if I did more, if I tried harder, if I just did things right. I sacrificed myself and nothing changed. I put my career aspirations, dreams, happiness, and financial gains on the line. I put my heart and mental health on the chopping block. There was nothing of that magnitude offered my way or gained through experience that outweighed what I put into that relationship. All to be discarded like I was trash. Then blamed for all my hurt and blamed for the consequences of her actions. Its a road to forgiving myself for putting up with it. I have a ways to go.

[@Sirg17x]

@@denisedevoto5703 Not knowing what I was going through was a thing with a name is probably why I was in it so long. I was discarded before I knew what she was.

[@Sirg17x]

@@KingRandor82 I'm sorry you went through this. I get it though. I beat myself up and blamed myself for the issues in our relationship. In the end it was her.

[@artifundio1]

Notice this, love bombing can last from a couple of weeks to a couple of years or more. Sometimes it's almost impossible to differentiate love bombing as a face, from their "normal" behavior. My ex's made it last 4 years. I couldn't tell the difference until after we got married. And started spending more time with his family. I think the best "vaccine" against narcissists is self love and self wisdom. If you know yourself well, then nobody could gaslight you, I suppose. Take care of yourselves, always ❤️

[@fiberfarmstead]

Yes

[@NatzTalk]

This.💛

[@beabove]

I resonate with this so much. When I met the X (covert narcissist), I was feeling my oats, at a a great place in my career, had worked so much on all my wounds, etc. I knew I was a good "catch" and I knew I would be an excellent partner at this point in my life. So when he stepped in and said I was amazing, I actually just felt seen. Then the devalue hit me like a ton of bricks. Truly one of the biggest WTF times in my life.

[@kdphotos4691]

You've described the exact sort of people these parasites pick out. Happy, in a great place, and feeling like you had something to share with others. It's the old trauma that gets us picked by them. I can relate to the "feeling seen" part. You feel like you're happy and things are going right for once in your life and you convince yourself you found someone who matches that energy. But all they were doing was using their predatory instincts to pick up on your old wounds. They pretend to match your energy until they start with the "testing" to see if you can be manipulated. Because they've started from a base of lying, when you put up with what they dish out, they know they can use you until they're done and move on to their next target. It's a misery loves company mentality they hide behind a false exterior of being loving and wanting to share happiness and support. They're miserable so they search for the bright lights in others and like a match, use them until they burn out. They don't seek out those who are already defeated, only the ones who have the light still in them.

[@danielland3767]

That's literally my life, the journey back has been trying. I'm sorry you went through that. I hope your journey fwd comes with healing and awareness

[@Rose19695]

​@@kdphotos4691you described perfectly my experience. This is going in my journal. Thank you.

[@vickit3124]

Same - it’s the worst thing. Best wishes to you 💐

[@Wishpool]

@beabove - I totally relate to your comment. The same thing happened to me.

[@An-mei]

The relationship can never 'remain equal' with the narcissist. 🎯 Thank you

[@p.w.352]

One of my my children has a narcissistic manager who recently made a mistake at work. When it was called to their attention they came unglued over everyone on the team. She was accusing practically everyone of undermining her, but one person in particular. In the end it was proven that the mistake was hers. My child told me that the next day she came into work all cherry and sweet to everyone, but especially to the co worker she had targeted. She was that worker's best friend. My child was super confused until I pointed out that it's all part of the narcissist cycle, and if they think back they will see these behaviors are a pattern with this person.

[@websurfer5772]

Whoa. That's intense.

[@HelaineChersonsky]

I have witnessed that particular coverup in my last relationship. You confront the narc wiith the truth- say cheating or the 0:14 ir harem and after they say nothing and don't own up to the problem, they cover it all up by pretending nothing happened. Voila, problem disappeared. Except it hasnt and not they have escaped avcountabilityn agai. I brliebrbthosbis a form.of gaslighting.

[@microdosenyc4515]

And like the sun, a narcissist needs everything to revolve around them.

[@user-lj9dj3bq8o]

Bwahahahahhahaha! Omg! Laughing so hard.

[@AlisonBSL]

😂😂😂😂

[@PENGUINGIRL1210]

Love bombing is the most cruel and heartless manipulation tactic, in my opinion. Because it lulls me into a false sense of security and preys on my false hope that someday the N will change. As someone who is empathetic and always pits others over myself and wants to see others grow and mature, it hurts me every time because I have to tell myself it’s not real. It’s just another delusion like the fantasies I’ve had of her changing

[@simonpegg1196]

Just like an alcoholic, who makes false promises of giving up drinking, only to drink again the next day, narcs can never change. Hoping that a narc would change for the better is living in delusion. Putting an alcoholic in permanent rehab, in my opinion, would be akin to going no-contact permanently with a narc.

[@TheDarkPlace00]

Sometimes I even wonder if love even exists after realizing what was once good in the relationship was all nothing but the love bombing phase. Just when I thought everything was genuine until the mask came off and it all an illusion.

[@cymbolichuman433]

It's horrible

[@danielland3767]

Yes I still do believe love exists but it will not be in the form of love bombing, it will be a patient and constant love that cares, know you are healing and understands that you have been loved bombed and they are the person to show you what consistency is. For example, I have a friend, through random conversations and trigger words said on my end out my hurt past I realized that they where hyper aware of people that could be possible love bombing or even stalker. So the best way for me to let them know I'm different and love is possible is to just be their. They where going through a financial moment and didn't want any assistance because 90% of the time it come with a condition even though people will say it doesn't when they offer it. I insisted, they let me help and I left it be. Now when we talk about other topics, jobs then I listen to what they casually needed and when I came across something they could use, I give it freely with nothing expected in return. That's how I shown my love for them and my relationship as a friend with them.

[@bloom4807]

Yeah, but you should not blame yourself. I think narcissists think they need to perform in order for people to like them. That’s definitely a depressive way of living, never experiencing true intimacy.

[@Nerine98]

I also sometimes wonder whether love exists, I feel you

[@HelaineChersonsky]

Going through all the phases with a narcissist is like going through heavy water. I always feel like Charley Brown holding the football, only to be blindsided from behind.

[@TylerTour]

Heavy water?

[@spacegirl226]

The Charlie Brown example is one I use often to describe the lovebombing too. That's exactly what it is, and it never changes. So Charlie Brown has to be smarter to not fall for it. That's the difficult bit!

[@youngblood8540]

Narcissists love fantasy, because they believe reality is a prison.

[@Greenawareness188]

Narcissists are so wrapped up in their own universe , you aren't even seen .

[@donnellallan]

My ex is at it again! Eight years no contact since the divorce and now he is back holding our children up before me like a set of jangling shiny keys, trying to lure me back. He knows that what I always wanted most of all was a large happy family, so today, this afternoon, I am invited by him to a Christmas dinner he is holding for just the two of us and our six adult children and their partners. I will not be going! But it’s dismaying to me how much it still hurts to be manipulated this way. Thank you for another timely video, Dr Ramani. I will not be driving into the sun today however blinding it may be. 💜

[@ladyofthecreek279]

I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you! You refuse to fall for it. Merry Christmas 🤗

[@donnellallan]

@@ladyofthecreek279 , thank you so much! I needed that so much. I have no one to call who understands. Now I know that you do, and that means a lot. Merry Christmas to you, too! 🎄🙏🥰

[@meeperbird]

It’s just Mercury retrograde. My exes come back only during METROGRADE.

[@charlie6849]

Sometimes the narcissist notice a shift and they adjust just enough to throw you off.

[@gertrudewest4535]

You hit the nail on the head ( for me), - the need to be seen and heard. I do think manipulative people pick up on that . I have noticed a reduction in the amount of rocks being thrown at me since I stopped being an emotional neon sign. I don’t have as much fun, but definitely feel more in control. I think self preservation is my now my top priority , taking a back seat to the need to be seen and heard. Besides, I have my own little fan club… the wild birds that I nurture and adore.

[@morebirdsandroses]

It means a lot when we start to figure out what matters for us. 🐦

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I called out a love bombing guy that I was getting to know who I felt was playing games and being dishonest with me. He was only honest about the serious relationship he was actually in when I asked him direct questions. I called his bluff and exerted my boundaries to protect myself. No longer blinded by him. I have my ‘sunglasses’ on for sure. Prioritizing my well being. Thank you Dr Ramani.

[@neant2046]

This metaphor with the sun, driving and sunglasses is brilliant, it will really stick with me now ^_^ I got this very strong "slow down and put on your glasses" instinct after my last narcissistic relationship, and at first I was worried that I just became bitter, but now I feel like it's actually the healthiest thing to do - even if the sun is not quite blazing, and it's just that your eyes became too sensitive to it, if you can't see - you can't drive and you need to take care of yourself, period.

[@lareverie8285]

It really is a great analogy

[@NarcSurvivor]

It isn’t real. They’re not really interested in you or attracted to you, or anyone else. They hate intimacy and relationships. It’s just a means for them to get what they want.

[@debbiecarson7005]

I agree 💯

[@debbiecarson7005]

They have their public domain plastered with egotistical images of themselves

[@debbiecarson7005]

They have their public domain plastered with egotistical images of themselves

[@t.l.7733]

Entering into a relationship w/a narc is equivalent to entering a reverse carwash....you enter in clean & exit dirty, damaged, & broken.

[@LS-fp2gv]

Exactly what it feels like.

[@anon_ya]

Don’t ever give anyone so much power that you can’t see straight from lovebombing. It’s good to be a little suspicious of people moving too fast …it’s often not realistic or sustainable. The best vaccine is a full life, a full self, supportive friends and accountability partners, personal development, etc…

[@lauramari68]

One of the most powerfully beautiful professions of love that I've ever heard was when someone said their now long-term partner was their friend to begin with, and the love evolved gradually from a soothing place of uncomplicated mutual acceptance. The way they put it was "whenever I was with them, my heartbeat slowed down", and that's how they recognized love. Such a wholesome antithesis to the breathless anxiety of the narcissistic lovebombing phase where the lights are way too bright and you are constantly on edge, thinking your heart is in your throat all the time because that's what being deeply in love should feel like.

[@AlexLouiseWest]

Great comment.

[@lauramari68]

@@AlexLouiseWest ❤

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Awwww😘

[@lauramari68]

@@BrendaBaBoom ❤

[@orielwiggins2225]

Great analogy. Finding a solution to the sun in your eyes, slow down, be much more alert and aware of your circumstances, and filter things thru a good discerning tool (therepy, solid friends, removing the "glare and brightness" of the loving things they do) , to see clearly the path in front of you and the real potential hazards. I love this. Thank you.

[@annwe6]

Being love bombed works so well because the narc misappropriates your personality. Chameleon like, they take on your traits, dreams, hopes, ideas, and desires as their own. Then they reflect them back to you so perfectly that you believe you have found your perfect soulmate. But of course, it's all a ruse. After a month or two they get tired and grow bored of their charade. Unable to sustain it, they unceremoniously push off the high pedestal they put you on, remove their mask, and watch like a cat toying with a mouse as you writhe in the pain of their callous rejection. They even have the audacity to deride you for being foolish as you weep, beg and grieve for your beloved to return. Devaluation complete, the cycle of abuse and associated trauma bonding ensues, until, hopefully, you manage to escape. Yep, been there, done that.

[@brendanthebdog]

Love bombing is intoxicating as much as it's disorienting. It is emotionally excruciating to extricate yourself from something so intense. I'm glad I did with my last relationship early on once I knew I was being love bombed. It was painful, but I couldn't take any more two hour long fights that resolved nothing. Being devalued incessantly is the p.o.w. Russian roulette scene from Deer Hunter, it won't end unless you escape.

[@user-um9sl1kj6u]

Anytime anybody pressures anybody for sex, that’s dangerous. Remember, “fools rush in.” I am very wary of any kind of intimacy. You don’t know what people have, and you don’t know how someone is. The idea of love bombing is intrinsic to a narcissist. They’re just trying to get into someone’s pants

[@marcilk7534]

Especially when they’re a pastor.

[@TART111]

I feel the same. Thank you for posting

[@kathylyndsey316]

My analogy for loveboming is the scene from the movie 'It' where Georgie comes across the clown in the drain. The clown quickly builds rapport by using information he gains from Georgie and tapping into his weakness which is why his eyes flash from predatory yellow to blue which Georgie is comfortable and had an affinity for. And although Georgie senses danger he overides his gut instinct. All narcissists are performative clowns who feed off the energy of others. The teeth come out to those who they identify as vulnerable, isolate and manipulatively position where they want them. Watch the clip as a visual mental note. Entertaining a narcissists charm never ends well. 🤡🤡🤡

[@user-qv9nw1dq2f]

Yes, true. When the sun is too bright, we need some really good sunglasses 😎 thank you dr Ramani ❤

[@elizabethbettencourt1116]

Blinding light! 😂 thank you for touching on ANYONE can be victim to this. It is tailored, that's powerful and so true!

[@anothergirlinasweater]

The Twitter description of the narcissist who broke my life was Machine of feeling. After more than 12 years of that first relationship now I know he was a robot. A narcissist is a robot, everything is an strategy.

[@immortalityevolution]

yes, they are malfunctioning pre-adamic men - they are organic portals. They exist in this simulation to feed on energy and stunt your evolution to keep us in Samsara. Boris Mouravieff talks about these type of "people". I noticed their existence became more obvious w the pandemic

[@WWZenaDo]

To take your analogy in a slightly different direction, once the "sun" has switched around to being behind your back (because love-bombing narcissists are backstabbers), all you can see are the shadows and the darkness, the ugly negative side of the love-bombing illusion.

[@privateprivate8366]

It even, sometimes, feels as if your own positivity and resilience is a problem. That, if you’ve been able to recover and not be a moth to a flame (not saying victims are at fault as, I don’t always believe that), you are open to something that may have the flavor of more positive normalcy. I have found, unfortunately, that it is still “buckle up buttercup”. Because the narcissists come fast and furious. I can barely rid myself of one, before another comes in and that’s just through being cordial. I even just met a new neighbor. We’ve only spoken about 3 times and she wanted to exchange numbers, so we did. But, my gut tells me that it’s too fast, so I intend to be scarce, to slow things down. Way down, to watch and see, knowing that even then, it took most of my life, to find out my mother had narcissistic issues.

[@jadethiraswas4121]

i can relate to your words very much, especially at how as soon as i seem to have escaped the grips of one narcissist another one is making its way in under a whole different disguise... or if they aren't a narcissist, i have several times let in borderline personality types too quickly, which although they are not as outright malicious as narcs, they fall under the same cluster b disorder umbrella and suck the energy from us positive, loving, and sensitive souls in a way that can be just as hard to recover from. i have moved slowly getting acquainted with my new neighbor because of these past experiences i've become a hermit, and now that we inevitably met, just a few weeks have passed and somehow she's already texting me on a daily basis wanting to know where i am and asking me to pet-sit for her over several dates... and here i am like how did this get to this point already?! boundaries are nonexistent to them.

[@Ron-is5td]

Thank you for such a vivid analogy. Tires screeching everywhere!

[@erinward2983]

We gain perspective after "getting burned."

[@Jrams666]

Funny you mentioned AI. Made me realize these people are like terminators. They pretend to show interest in all the things you’re passionate about, but really they’re just studying you so they can more effectively take away everything you love and tear it all down and destroy you later.

[@elizabethbettencourt1116]

I can see clearly now, the sun, not rain, is gone! I can see all obstacles in my way! 😂❤ thank you!

[@lesleyelalami2562]

They tell you what they know you want to hear..... then do whatever they like. Evil through and through. I've just had to adjust my rearview mirror at sunset for this very reason, tonight. Excellent analogy. Thanks Dr Ramani. xxx

[@madge2114]

The worst love bombing is like when they spend days knitting you a perfectly purled orange wool scarf, knowing full well that you're allergic to wool and can't stand the color, and then have fits of self pity if you don't wear it in public for a long winter walk.

[@morebirdsandroses]

That sounds so much like my mother's modus- except for the knitting! I do the knitting and no contact with "mommy dearest"!

[@TART111]

True! He bombed me in ways I didn't like, then berated me for not appreciating him, saying I was abusive.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Thank you Dr! 😎

[@bobspamail]

Great analogy! Thank you Dr Ramani.

[@HelaineChersonsky]

Brilliant point; thank you, this sounds about perfect anout dealing with the love bombing and its withdrawal. Its the withdrawal and rumination that takes adjustment.

[@Maryland_Kulak]

I’m so glad I put all this behind me. This year, I had a narcissist boss of the opposite gender who love bombed me. I fell for her. Then the torment began. I lost 15 pounds because I was a nervous wreck and had no appetite for months. I finally quit my job to get away from her. Unfortunately, I’ve gained the 15 pounds back.

[@jamessorrel]

"We're a team" -- this is just like my narcissist word for word

[@akazinsomniac3007]

Not just in sexual relationships my mom is a expert covert love bomber.

[@abracadaverous]

"Virtue is relative, at best. There's nothing worse than a sunset When you're driving due west." - Ani diFranco, Virtue

[@caroletobias2665]

Thank you, Dr Ramani. Wonderful analogy and very helpful. The idea of slowing down when it’s too bright is like L.A. drivers on the freeways at sunrise or sunset makes so much sense but I think we’re more like L.A. drivers when it starts raining, not aware of the danger of those wet, oily surfaces.

[@Coral_Forever]

Thank you Doctor Ramani! Another helpful video. It is so hard to retain self-confidence and our focus on meaning and purpose when we need to the most amid the flurry of lovebombs.

[@youngblood8540]

Falling in love with a narcissist, is like being the worst driver in the world. Because you missed all the signs and ended up lost in the end.

[@HLBear]

I would argue it's like getting in the worst Uber in the world. It's the narcissist who brings the relationship to a bad place

[@Scorpion_Light_Bringer]

Facts, Youngblood! I learned to read all the signs again and have an aversion for red flags. Green flags only 🎉

[@oliviabanda3914]

The narc is the eye opener we didn’t realize we needed

[@Gloriagal78]

Dr. Ramani, that was an EXCELLENT analogy!☀️😎

[@lorianttila9698]

This is 100% truth. I am so grateful for this recognition

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I listened to this twice and love the analogy of the sun and sunglasses. Super helpful. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

[@felicitydowning7970]

Doctor these people are so damaged. Thanks ❤

[@HYEOL]

This coworker keeps talking and treating me like she loves me for years but never ever wants to chat or go out with me. Drives me insane

[@pranveramulgeci5242]

Dodged a bullet today! Confronted a guy about love bombing, and he staight up say yes, thats what I usually do, to build a strong partner who essentially obeys him. And he added “I have something else planed for you though, cant tell you what it is”. BLOCKED!!!!!

[@user-nr4ny5py8p]

Love your videos(you give me the strength to go through this .

[@44kayleemic]

I recently experienced this again, and was so relieved by the time devaluation hit because the whole thing felt so crushing and dense I could see exactly what he was doing to me, some things were less obvious until that sunset came (devaluation) but still I was thankful that he was cocky enough to do it all before we ever met in person and I would have experienced way worse lowering my standards because I was dealing with an actual lunatic disguised as a victim It was all so obvious this time around that it was almost unbelievable! One of my favourite topics is narcissism and yet he still tried it with me lol They truly believe they are bullet proof My only regret is responding to the hoover but that was to ensure he left me alone as I made sure I was quite definitive so I wouldn't hear back from him again but in reality he just wanted to smoothe over the devaluation / discard that didn't go his way a month earlier and see if I was going to sweep under the rug... No chance! Make them stand on it and move on to someone else The lesson is not to engage with anyone with such intensity again, you have nothing to show for it either except anxiety

[@judithargitay9860]

I read a book on narcissism (written by a psychiatrist in my country), and his take was that pathological narcissists kind of "filter" their own sensations and emotions through the victim. That said, love bombing is rather an "idealization" that they need to feel themselves to be able to connect to someone at the beginning. They literally filter through their idealization, even delusion through you. So it's not about you at all, it has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. That concept helped me a lot in my healing.

[@yolkyolk3148]

If it feels too good to be true, it is. ☹

[@user-dt9bh4iu2r]

I am learning a lot about these cowards. No Empathy NONE! Thank you for all you do Dr.Ramani. I will continue to listen to you every day.,Danny in Jacksonville Florida 😢.

[@remarkable937]

I never had a man want to be with me so much, need me to be with him, talk all day every day, tell me how smart, beautiful, funny, kind, sexy I am and all of this within 2 weeks of knowing him. At first I was like "WTH is this guy nuts?" He said "I know it is so soon, and you don't feel like I do yet, but that is okay, I will wait." I never, ever had any of this happen with a man before and after a few weeks of it, I went with it and stopped fighting it. I don't know how he did it but he would say things I had always hoped a man would say to me, treat me the way I always wanted a man to treat me. It was like he was reading my mind and he would say, "I am just so in tune with you I know everything you need and want and I will give that to you always baby." It lasted about 8 months and then little by little the real him emerged. 😵

[@nonameneededd]

I’m like one of those aunts when it comes to this new gen lingo 🤣 I’ve learnt all the new ones: - Love bombing - Breadcrumbing - Gas lighting - Situationships - Stonewalling etc Why they label everything? And why is everything like a cafeteria line procedure? I’m trying to understand how the wheels are turning in their heads!! 🤓

[@ricardajames5769]

Dr. Ramani, thank you for sharing this analogy. I will apply it as appropriate. ❤🙏

[@johncooper6073]

High tech mechanized love bombing and narcissism, lol yup it ll happen . Love yr cheery short messages and encouragement.

[@PCMenten]

I didn’t know what love bombing/sex bombing was until recently. Once I understood how it works, how intense physical affection and romantic attention triggers the onset of limerabce/infatuation via the physiological feedback of neurologically powerful chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin, I realized that I had been unknowingly causing this myself. Some education about how this works might have helped me avoid causing this effect and improved my relationship skills. I had learned how to trigger the intense sexual reactions without learning the pitfalls, both for my partner and for me. It is an immature behavior that had caught me off guard when I realized what I had been doing.

[@microdosenyc4515]

My ex- the consent clown- call this dickmatizing . Hypnotic induction with ye olde body penis.

[@olgaguer6443]

Respect for the truth and courage! Much appreciate your work!

[@segotsopheto3277]

Thank God for Dr Ramani, your the best in the world at what you do? A different video of yours helped me so much recently

[@rebekahorst]

Good morning. Thank you for sharing your content!

[@Tigerlilly0902]

I'd love a video on how to tell it's narcissist love bombing vs a good person. Or how to avoid falling for love bombing or at least keep your head about when it happens.

[@lms1068]

I was love bombed by someone who was all over the place in the first two weeks. I was suckered in after being with a with a person who had a narsacistic type personality and left me heartbroken. The 2nd guy was all in, til he started discussing how I could pay for everything for him and his 3 children. I googled information and realized he wanted a nanny and nursemaid to supply and work for him so he didn't have to work at all. He actually complained when I refused to buy air fares for the 4 of them, plus pay for their visas into my country and work multiple jobs to keep them here. My good friends snapped me out of my head.

[@missm5208]

"Malevolent, data mining, robot" does sound quite a lot like my narc ex!

[@triawillow1972]

Thank you again Doctor Ramani 💜

[@NotSpiritual]

Nice video for something I've never heard of before - thanks very much! 🙏

[@user-um9um5op8y]

Tysm Dr Ramani 🖖

[@serena1261]

Unbelievably perfectly on point 👍

[@ggbpartystarter5958]

Dr Ramani, please talk about screening for dating online, I feel is going too perfectionist and make me feel not enough..

[@patriciahboston3547]

'I think they are calling it 'toxic self improvement' .... I would see it in people's profiles like they were following a lesson plan , well, I go to the gym, I golf, yoga, ..because they think they should or cuz they enjoy it? Perfectionism is a defense against shame and nobody is perfect and nothing more boring than someone wanting to get there...don't fall into it, embrace your mixed up life and don't apologize.

[@jamesbishop9156]

I love this analogy of being blinded by the light of love bombing.

[@jamesbishop9156]

It reminds me of the tunnel of white light when I died. A very, very lovely feeling...

[@Dsrgroup555]

Why narcissistic woman even forgets husband once they discarded and enjoy life, very painful being a husband.

[@susanmacaulay6567]

GREAT analogy! TYSM

[@victoriaknox9623]

Thank you That helped me to understand a little bit more. Peace ✌️ 💜🙏🏼

[@addictedtominisandlovingit3912]

I fell for it hook line and sinker.

[@LValley-kz3yc]

It is similar to being caught in a spiders web, or being in the hypnotic trance of a vampire. Both want to feed.

[@kelkrote]

This guy surely love bombed me. I thought I was lucky! But….i was not at ease and my gut-feeling told me something didn’t add up. His words and actions didn’t align. And, people were telling me how much he loved me…..but when someone truly loves you, you KNOW it! He was a fraud, and upon studying I was able to put a name on him: covert narcissist! Thanks to him!!! I know understand the trauma I’ve experienced, starting with childhood……

[@RA-ut2df]

I would love to know how Dr. R feels about online counselors who promote ideas such as the key to healthy relationships is simply to think with the correct body parts. I was already uneasy about allowing someone with a religious background to coach or counsel me because of my secular perspective. It did not take long to find out he is not as wise, kind, or honest as he first appeared to be-- especially after I saw how his organization promotes such a simplistic and degrading approach to relationships. I will be grateful to just keep watching her straightforward videos and to hear from people who keep up with Dr R's work Thanks

[@robinpenfold4733]

I would love to hear your take on the apparent connection between narcissism and conspiracy theories. I have 2 siblings who I've identified as having covert narcissistic traits and they believe in many of the common conspiracy theories that we hear about.

[@aliendeathrocker]

I'd like to second this, I dated two narcs who were obsessed with conspiracy theories.

[@siliconinsect]

It annoys her when I leave before 6am to literally avoid driving into the sun.

[@matikramer9648]

Thank you, doctor

[@ollia]

Good analogy..

[@roxymovie3938]

When the sun is shining too bright, be aware that there is something wrong. It might feel "bombastic" but it's not the truth.

[@Greenawareness188]

Thanks , Are you okay ?

[@roxymovie3938]

@@Greenawareness188 Hello Melony 😍, well I am ill, like Dr Carter but emotionally I am fine, thank you for your concern. Hope you are fine as well?

[@Greenawareness188]

@@roxymovie3938 Sorry to see you are feeling puny . I hope you get better soon . I'm okay .

[@roxymovie3938]

@@Greenawareness188 Thank you Melony for your good wishes. Glad to hear that you are doing okay 🥰 🤗

[@TART111]

The love bomb turned me off very quickly. It was illogical to me to receive that level of "love" because he hardly knew me, and didn’t know what i needed. He kept saying "woman love this- what's wrong with you?"

[@diemos09]

The trap is always baited with what you want.

[@NicoSan805]

Be the Palm Tree.

[@tiffanyg921]

Thank you so much. This is the first time I remembered the love bombing for what it was. So much guilt and shame just left me. Bless you Dr.!!

[@ghassanebentahar5695]

Get some good sun glasses I love it.

[@evanhunter1530]

Yeah, it seems "mellow neurotic"

[@menotyou6254]

Thank you

[@bloom4807]

My mother would buy expensive things, food, clothes, furniture..etc. one time she took me shopping for a bag, nothing over the top expensive, but never the less very pricey. She would then brag to people and say that I have gotten used to money, that I want to use her for money and that I was spoiled. If I ask her to buy anything that isn’t expensive she starts to threaten me, yells at me, tries to scary me saying it’s probably poisonous or something. All of this happening from when I was 14 until my early 20’s.

[@MsJW4ever]

Thank you ❤

[@hnlong8531]

I got love bombed by a grandiose narcissist once in the Navy and it was all because he was sent to spy on me by the HM2s(E5 rank) and on every op he was assigned to me. He was too grandiose to love bomb correctly and would randomly give me complements when he had a croud but would reduce his complements down to an insult, like saying something like "you're the best doc" then a few seconds later would try to correct himself then say "you're the best doc I've seen here" then "you're the best boot(rookie) doc I have worked with here". His audience being the Marines didn't like what he was doing then we all told him to keep all his stupid thoughts and fake complements to himself. He became angry and said I can't take a compliment but I explained what he would do and say and asked him would he take anything he said as a compliment from someone else? He said "only if they were salty(military slang for a person with alot of deployments) ". One day he went too far with the insult and got reported by the Marines and he was never seen in the field again but unfortunately for the Marines he is SARC now 😂

[@patrickbinford590]

I hate love bombing. Love...well that's different. #Trust/wisdom/discernment/clarity/experience.

[@mqua4610]

Only few people get it! Dr. R. gets it. But here’s the recent thing I’ve learned about the particular love bombing that happened to me. He love bombs to shame me into topping whatever unwanted thing he has given me. He love bombs me so he can bring it up at an instant all that he’s done for me. He love bombs me to tell me no one will ever be as good to me as he’s been. But the thing is that these love bombs are not something that I really wanted, not something that I desired.

[@danielland3767]

Dr. Ramani could you go in depth on narcissistic and gender? It's highly associated with men and as i have seen here on the channel in the comments that its family members. Mother's, grandmother, grandparents, everyone but who we are told it should be. I understand we should be aware of what it looks like typically, but i believe we get hyper focused on seeing/saying "90% of narcissists are (insert gender & demographic here) that we ignore the 10% that is left unchecked and they do way more damage because we as people naturally equate 90% to 100% for safety all the time.

[@Dj.D25]

Agree. I feel there’s a lot more female narcissists than men now, especially on social media, who love to show off their appearance but have no meaningful content.

[@user-tq7uv9rs1e]

In my case it was him "learning" about my diagnosis... he never really learned when i think about it now, but he definitely made it seem like a big effort, as I expressed that being important to me. And it gave me a lot of hope. But instead he would use that info against me, devalue me. I really needed the perspective of it being customized to me, as i was approaching "love bombing" in a black and white way, thinking it didn't apply to me.