A Karate Christmas Miracle: The Most Insane Christmas Movie Ever Made (Movie Nights)

Whatever you think A Karate Christmas Miracle is, you aren't ready.
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#Christmas #AKarateChristmasMiracle #EricRoberts #MartinKove

[@KeroKaminaX]

the mass shooting stuff was apparently footage from the director's other movie that was based on the aurora shooting. so on top of everything else wrong with this movie it's also recycled tasteless garbage

[@feanenatreides]

I was going to joke that this looks like two movies spliced together. When it comes to truly bad movies, the best punchline usually turns out to be the truth.

[@KariIzumi1]

Wow, that was uhhhhhhhhh……..a decision he made 😬

[@BroiledBoy]

I worked on this trash! Hahaha….i was coming here to mention this but you already knew about it! How did you know?? Also, Eric and Martin should’ve been paid for this and I don’t believe they were

[@tessalyyvuo1667]

Does anyone else think Eric Roberts is an underrated actor? Even if he was in this.

[@morganwhaley9119]

I'm not even remotely surprised that Eric Roberts is in this.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

I'm not either, and I don't know if this is the most confusing role he's ever been in.

[@TeeBeeOhh]

i am like 69% convinced the dad-writer/director is a conspiracy weirdo based on this

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Let’s be real. Karate Dad faked his death and was living with his other family for a year.

[@ughaghost]

Saw you tweeting about maybe scrapping this whole thing. I'm super glad you didn't. This video made my Christmas better. Thanks for that Allison. And thanks for bringing this atrocity to my attention, in the month of the Cats release, lol.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Judging by the movies in which Eric Roberts has appeared, I am beginning to think I might be able to afford a cameo from him in my home movies.

[@Fanimati0n]

He'd probably agree to cameo in exchange for a sandwich if we're being honest. The man can't say no.

[@MichelleAnnM]

I'm pretty sure I could afford to hire Eric Roberts to come over and do my laundry.

[@CsykKrit]

@@MichelleAnnM 😅

[@distance7721]

Alison, YOU'RE a Christmas miracle. I could not stop laughing throughout this entire video and I want to thank you for the 21 minutes and 42 seconds of joy you brought into my life

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Just discovered the same man made A Wrestling Christmas Miracle that sounds equally baffling, and was supposed to include Robert Z'Dar. Leading to one of the more bizarre IMDB trivia lines: "Robert Z'dar was originally cast but he had to leave the production when his pet mini horse was attacked by 3 pit bulls."

[@Dreadjaws]

Director: _"Alright, I have three bucks and a slightly expired twizzler for this movie's budget. Who can I possibly hire outside my immediate family?"_ Eric Roberts, materializing outside the window: _"Did you just say... 'Twizzler'?"_

[@stefanfilipovits21]

I’m utterly baffled by this movie. I was given a ketamine infusion for pain management during a hospital stay once and that experience was EXACTLY like watching this movie.

[@PoochieCollins]

Almost spit out my mouthwash.

[@RandoChrisYT]

So is this some Karate Kid Christmas movie? *20 seconds of fear, dead people, violence, and a knock off of "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt later* ..........Oh.

[@edisonlima4647]

I guess... not. Lol It is weird when reality comes crashing down over our rhetorical questions, isn't it?

[@Tareltonlives]

The only reason I know Neil Breen didn't make this movie is because he's not in it as the star.

[@xjkappax]

because his face is not in the cover, that's the first hint XD

[@unexpectedcaveman6573]

And he's not the director, or the editor or the location scout or the visual effects manager or the set designer or the makeup artist or the lighting director or the transport manager or the caterer...

[@c-puff]

And yet I was still thinking about him during this whole review. He was here in spirit. Horrible horrible spirit.

[@edisonlima4647]

Also, no huge amounts of broken laptops being caaaarefully thrown to the ground during a random hissy fit of his.

[@Djinsin]

“Who here thinks Santa is guilty of aggravating assault?” That is my new favorite line in any movie ever!

[@c-puff]

I read this comment at the EXACT moment the line was said in the review and I’m kind of terrified

[@nikguimont8546]

This feel like one of those things adult swim would play in the middle of the night to mess with people only it’s real

[@theleap2946]

Holy crap that is exactly what it is!! Haha. Someone should troll this director and show him Too Many Cooks and call it left wing communist propaganda against the concept of “family” and he will honest to god make a Knockoff. 🤣🤣🤣

[@G0ATFAC3]

It's amazing how you can literally describe this movie as an "endless exposition dump" and yet still literally get no answers to any of the questions this movie raises. It takes some real movie-makin' skill to pull that off.

[@munkyzzb7504]

How did that kid get a black belt? He's horrible..

[@munkyzzb7504]

@@Talisguy That's what I was thinking.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

It must have been his development of his incredible sofa-fu style.

[@munkyzzb7504]

@@MyMagnificentOctopus Yeah I switched to that after finding my Wu-Tang style to exhausting.

[@blameitonthebubble5294]

Man Eric Roberts has never said no in his life.

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Hard to believe this guy shared the screen with Heath freaking Ledger once upon a time.

[@christianninsananda9626]

Looks like he literally Skyped this one in.

[@gingersnap6004]

I am 65% certain he chooses his films by title alone. The dumber sounding the better.

[@christopherjones5446]

Neither has Michael Caine or Christopher Lee. Sometimes acting is just a job to pay bills.

[@DocMarsTalesToAmaze]

Hey hey Oscar nominated Eric Roberts never says no

[@BigEOT3]

Surprised you got your hands on a early episode of Cobra Kai Season 3 Allison. But all joking aside, you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

[@quinnzykir]

So basically, dad left for cigs and refused to come home until his son got a black belt from breaking balsa wood? Okay

[@mikekz4489]

Goofy martial arts movie and Movie Nights go hand in . . . mass shooting? What? I’ll never make fun of a Hallmark Channel Christmas movie again.

[@jessicasoucy6474]

This reminds me of Pocket Ninjas. Incoherent martial arts kid movie should be its own genre

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

Yeah, except (hopefully) its creator isn't a copyright-abusing asshole.

[@Tareltonlives]

It basically is

[@laurahertzman943]

Is it just me or does the "mom" actually not look old enough to be that kid's mom? She looks like an older sister, honestly.

[@ge2719]

The kids what maybe 12? She could be close to 30. The real quest is we're supposed to buy this overweight balding guy who writes terrible movies has a wife? He must have got her pregnant in high school, because he's a Homer

[@ParadoxapocalypSatan]

She looks like the daughter of the "dad"

[@buzzkilljfk6719]

The only review on IMDB gives it 10 stars and says "Will Change your Life" and "This is the only holiday film you and your family will ever need again to fill your stockings with Karate Christmas Love!!!" Who to believe? LOL

[@SirChubbyBunny]

I mean, are they wrong though?

[@graemesmith6721]

Let me take a stab at this. The mother had no idea her husband taught karate and built gazebos because she's a female character in a movie produced by Ken Del Vecchio, a Neanderthal who makes no secret of his utter contempt for women (see his other movie, The Life Zone). In his 1950s mindset, women are supposed to be passive and subservient, and never question anything their husbands do. Hence, she doesn't assume that her husband's frequent absences meant he was having an affair, like any sensible wife would. Instead, she questions herself, asking if she was a good wife, because marital problems are always the wife's fault. And she unquestioningly accepts her husband's sudden reappearance after an unexplained year-long absence as a Christmas miracle, instead of demanding to know where he's been all this time and assuming he's been shacking up with someone else.

[@dunes8817]

Ooh, neat. Though I'm hoping you don't get too many comments from people who still think reviewer dibs is a thing.

[@MadScientist512]

16:30 "I felt like I was solving Sherlock Holme's shittiest mystery" is an epic burn! :)

[@adrienjeffries1033]

All of the Eric Roberts scenes are from a different movie.

[@philliprudin5315]

The film is called Jokers Wild from 2016

[@SoloDoloSpaceman]

Phillip Rudin I thought it was called “Joker’s Poltergeist”?

[@philliprudin5315]

That’s the title on the cover but the actual title is Jokers Wild why they changed it I don’t know

[@Scribblerjohnny]

@@philliprudin5315 the more alternative titles a movie has, the worse it is.

[@PresleyRoxy]

I don’t even know where to begin with this one.... 1. Did anyone involved with this movie ever question the down right disrespectful that some of the plot points are? 2. Was the actress that played the mother high out of her mind during this movie? Because she’s either an awful actress or consumed a copious amount of edibles while filming this movie? Or is nothing? I’m so confused.

[@ge2719]

She's doing it as a favour to her brother in law who's making the movie and she got to see her lines about 5 minutes before shooting her scenes. Don't be too hard on her :p

[@SoloDoloSpaceman]

The psychic lawyer sounds like she’s squirted a bunch of Orajel in her mouth.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Does the entire film look like it was filmed on mall security cameras?

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

Well, either security camera footage or amateur porn. It could be either one.

[@Redleader001]

As a kid that really really wants that black belt, you would think that he could tie his belt correctly.

[@jagtaggart936]

Thank you!! Seriously that was driving me nuts.

[@Redleader001]

@@jagtaggart936 Yea man NP. I taught kids karate for 2 years and that was something that annoyed me. It not hard to do it but some had a hard time getting the belt to go behind itself to look like its just one seemless belt. Its just laziness from the movie's part.

[@kenthuang436]

He’s not a black belt nor will he ever be because he never earned it and his reasoning for wanting the belt is totally selfish and goes against every martial arts beliefs.

[@ChristopherDraws]

Two things: 1.That amazing flat cap worn by the lawyer/professor/psychic. 2. The line "I didn't know he was a karate man". A karate man?! Instant classic.

[@quinnzykir]

I think the reason the movie is so confusing is because the director took the theater shooter scenes from a mass shooter movie he made and put it in this.....thing

[@quinnzykir]

He’s a horrible director. Don’t watch the life zone. It’s not a Christian version of the Twilight Zone.

[@dunes8817]

Yeah it kinda has a "cobbled from different unfinished movies" feel to it.

[@ge2719]

I think some guy who is a security guard at a cinema asked his brother to let him shoot a movie as a husband character to his brothers wife and son. As a pathetic plan to try get blonde woman to be impressed and go out with him. But then she asked him if her mom could be in the movie and he couldn't say no. The clusterfuk was born.

[@MagnaRyuuDesigns]

yeah but he used a finished movie of his to finish this train wreck

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

So Al Adamson style film making? "Biker films are not popular any more? Let's take our biker scenes and cut them into a horror movie! Not long enough? Cut in some psychedelic hippie-panic movie footage we have lying around!"

[@ShirDeutch]

You know, we like to joke around about TV's Eric Roberts, but this is ridiculous even for him. I mean, he's not really a bad actor, he was in The Dark Knight for bat's sake! Surely he can get better roles than this... WAIT A MINUTE Is Eric Roberts in this movie BECAUSE he was in The Dark Knight, as a reference to the Aurora shooting?

[@nsalegit9482]

Oh fuck. I hope not.

[@Arrowdodger]

I think he is just in it because he doesn't really mind being in bad movies. Hell, look at how many David DeCouteau movies he's done.

[@MyssBlewm]

This was a great video to watch as I procrastinate on my gift wrapping. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Allison!

[@mikethegrunty5968]

The aurora shooting has no place in this movie. What’s next? Neil Breen making a movie about sandy hook?

[@KeroKaminaX]

how about Cool Cat instead?: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y6SbZJqjd7GLas0

[@ge2719]

From the amount of genocide in his other movies that would actually be a step closer towards sanity

[@mikethegrunty5968]

KeroKaminaX there he is!

[@mikethegrunty5968]

Graeme Evans oh god, I’m just giving him ideas, aren’t I 😂

[@therealmanos]

Of course Eric Roberts is in this! OF COURSE! Ya know, Allison...I wonder if you could get Eric Roberts to appear in one of your videos? Patreon goal, perhaps?

[@Torgospizza930]

I'm so glad there's now an actual review of this movie thats actually worth watching

[@Otacon3480]

Holy helll. This exists?

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Sadly, yes...yes it does. These are dark dark times.

[@Arrowdodger]

This is so mystifying. Like, I can't get past the idea of making her teach Sentinelese people online classes. Like, why?

[@briangrubbs6746]

Great review as usual, but one thing that I would want to point out is that the "carnival" that you mentioned in the review behind the clown is actually a photo of Six Flags New Orleans/Jazzland post-Hurricane Katrina (as you can clearly see a destroyed carousel and what used to be the Marvin the Martian-themed playground in the former Looney Tunes Adventures area) superimposed into the background of the green screen the actor was on. Other than that, keep on giving entertaining and funny reviews Allison and I hope you have a merry Christmas this year.

[@c-puff]

Wait what the fuck?

[@briangrubbs6746]

​@@c-puff The Six Flags New Orleans/Jazzland picture green screened in the background is featured primarily during the movie theater scene, but most prominently at 12:34.

[@Orandommeteredclock]

Come for the movie review, stay for the holiday make-up glamspiration! 😍

[@majkus]

After seeing this review, I looked up in IMDB. Seems that Del Vecchio also inflicted a film about a teenaged autistic savant MMA fighter, "The Savant (2019)" on the world (with his son apparently in some oddly named role again). The trailer is on KZbin, and looks almost like a parody of an action-drama film.

[@quinnzykir]

Why does the physic look like the Log Lady from twin peaks?

[@quinnzykir]

DONT DISS THE LOG!!!

[@christianninsananda9626]

You should have seen her in her prime... WOW!!! Julie McCullough if you want to look her up.

[@JoeServo]

I just watched this the other day, and I was basically completely baffled the entire time.

[@BronzeBoy520]

Epic Hanukkah gift. Finally I can show my wife the greatest Christmas movie ever

[@brucegrossman3531]

What no slacks. Come on its Hanukkah.

[@giuseppeianniello1998]

And we thought Holiday in Handcuffs was the “WTF they were thinking” Christmas movie of all time!

[@giuseppeianniello1998]

Seriously though, WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?!?!? THE DIRECTOR IS A MADMAN FROM SING-SING!!!

[@MforMovesets]

I consider that for new year, I unfollow all reviewers except Lupa and Phelous, because they never frustrated me.

[@mauricedevereaux6573]

Watched this last night and was also "gobsmacked", thank you for articulating in a humorous and entertaining way, the wacko levels of sheer insanity this film reaches, spread out among the endless boredom of the dialogue scenes. Just surprised you did not mention applesauce...:)

[@PeachieAngelPrincess]

I’m so glad you finished making this review because DEAR LORD WTF WAS THAT!!??? I thought the tone was going to be like Karate Dog but instead i got karate-kicked in the WHAT department. 8:00 lmaoooooo 13:06 “Jesse dream calls him in heaven” ichiccuoovh; i can’t deal with this WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PHONE CALL VISION SEQUENCES im so confused sobsob 17:02 I’m getting The Room vibes lol...

[@JThom529]

Excuse you?! Ash is the karate Christmas miracle, EEZHOLE

[@Ellthom]

"Who is this movie for" That's a question without an answer! :P

[@rodrolliv]

We can add it to the list of unanswered questions along with "what is brain" and "who put piss in my applejuice".

[@stoves5877]

when I woke up today I didn't think I would be laughing at movie that has a mass shooting as major plot point. Thank you this was hilarious

[@dreamlandnightmare]

The theater shooting elements make no sense because the director recycled that footage from a completely different, unrelated movie he made. Also, it should be noted that this is from the same writer/director who made a movie about pregnant women who are kidnapped to keep them from getting abortions. The kidnappers who force the women to go through with the pregnancy are portrayed as the good guys.

[@quinnzykir]

Man I hope God Awful Movies covers this next week. Hopefully next year.

[@katethemathnerd]

Does this movie smell like QAn*n nonsense to anyone else?

[@lnk2158]

Are you going to watch A Wrestling Christmas Miracle? It's worse, but maybe ~slightly~ less tasteless bc it doesn't feature a nonsensical reference to the Aurora theater mass shooting, but does have clips from the director's ablelist hospital "web series". Might be worth checking out.

[@Fanimati0n]

What's up with the audio here. It's less sharp than usual

[@dwn060clownman]

Yeah, it sounds kinda echo-y.

[@graemesmith6721]

Why is there footage of the isolationist North Sentinel Islanders in the movie? Here is my theory. There is a certain kind of person who takes perverse pleasure in doing things that they know will piss others off. It's a nasty, bratty, adolescent urge that most people eventually grow out of. But Ken Del Vecchio is clearly an example of arrested adolescence, considering his attitude towards women, an attitude straight out of the 1950s, where he would have felt much more at home than in the present day. I think he included that footage just because he knew the North Sentinelese would hate it. It doesn't even matter that they'll never know about it. He just gets a sick kick out of having done it. "Har har har! You primitive screwheads think you can hide from the rest of the world? I'll show you! I'm gonna put footage of you in my movie so millions of people will see it! Take that! Har har har!"

[@trevorlambert4226]

"Kenneth Del Vecchio is a critically acclaimed filmmaker"-IMDB bio, which is definitely NOT written by Kenneth Del Vecchio.

[@toddriverden613]

Sooooo this kid goes from yellow belt (2nd belt) to a black belt (9th belt) in 5 days. REALLY? Of course that's the least dis-believing thing in this movie but still.

[@kenthuang436]

As a black belt, I can honestly say this movie is just plain insulting as that little brat didn’t earn his “black belt” nor does he even deserve it. Plus the explanation of what the black belt represents is all wrong and goes against every principle that martial arts teaches. The brat was probably only handed the belt to get him to go away.

[@eddieboyky]

This is like the Neil Breen Christmas movie that Neil Breen never made.

[@SirChubbyBunny]

A very discount Neil Breen movie since there's no aliens or government conspiracies :(

[@minlow7831]

So the kid’s dad gets kidnapped after a shooting that took place at a movie theater birthday party. So a year later this kid thinks that getting a blackbelt would cause his did to come home somehow. Then his mom hears this thinks he’s a bit crazy and spends a lot of time talking to some “psychic” woman speculating about what happened to her husband in various locations. But when the kid does get his black belt his dad actually comes home? And that is the karate Christmas miracle?

[@vabvaab]

surprised nobody from the future came back as an AI to expose government corruption

[@jsc315]

That would actual involve a script of some kind

[@SpeedyEric1]

The people who complain that the plot of The Rise of Skywalker doesn’t make sense have NOT seen films like A Karate Christmas Miracle.

[@gingersnap6004]

SpeedyEric1 no I’ve seen both and would prefer this. At least this one doesn’t end with the mom and Eric Roberts serial killer clown making out.

[@tamari9966]

I think my tree and my house could catch on fire and I could choke on eggnog right now and it still wouldn't be as bad as this movie

[@DalekTheSupreme]

I really love the Apatosaurus Christmas sweater you're wearing. That's the true Chrismas miracle here.

[@monsieurdubitatif8567]

wait a minute! 1 07: this is totally the same actress that play the psychiatrist in neil breen fateful finding!!!

[@slwalsh]

I’ve seen many psychotic bad (and bad psychotic) movies, so it took until the mass shooting details for me to stop, pause the video & rethink my life. 10 minutes. I....should be concerned?

[@unclebuzzyschurchofgroove6190]

I entirely thought that "A Karate Christmas Miracle" was your satirical interpretation, not the actual title!

[@ottobaron6392]

If Ed Wood was making films today, I think they'd be a lot like this one.

[@MyMagnificentOctopus]

From the clips, this looks like the ideal double feature with Fateful Findings.

[@Jayfive276]

MyMagnificentOctopus don’t even mention the Breen in the same sentence as this trash.

[@pathutchison9866]

Did she say “I didn’t know he was a karate man”? Did I hear that? Please tell me I have a brain tumor instead.

[@heathheitman1166]

The movie might be epically horrible but this review was indeed a miracle.

[@RaccoonRevolution]

So somebody uploaded this movie to KZbin but used the thumbnail from this video lmao

[@peachysakura24]

This movie is like a fever dream I once had. 😂 If I may, I know of a very strange movie you might want to check out. It is from the 70s, it has huge holes in its logic, and if you buy it on Amazon, chances are that you will get a cover of a woman in leather fetish gear that has nothing to do with the movie! 😂 It's called Cathy's Curse and it was one of my favorite weird movies when I was a kid. 😊

[@SpongeyTheEditor]

I love that you're flexing on Brad.

[@jessicafrost7579]

The edgy sequel to Pocket Ninjas we were (not) waiting for.

[@animetay]

At 6:25 to 6:30 reminds me of when Cool Cat was having a nightmare in his movie and was rolling around in his bed like a crazy cat man

[@1000huzzahs]

They could’ve spelled it “Karate Khristmas Miracle,” ZERO OUTA TEN

[@elenaphisher244]

Riff Chick Karate Khristmas Mirakle?

[@Hardman5509]

The movie that begs the question: "HUH?"

[@JThom529]

WTF are we sure Tommy Wiseau did not direct this or was integral in making it?!

[@BloodrealmX]

Don't insult Tommy like that! The Room was at least coherent!

[@weirdandproudofit1]

I desperately needed to be cheered up and this review did the job and should keep me going all through Christmas. You're a gift x

[@SereneDancer]

What? What? Just like what? Love the review. Hope you have a great holiday season 😀

[@OtterPawStudios]

Yay! Someone whose character I can respect is reviewing this movie!

[@jukkahurskainen5192]

When the shit hit the fan, i stopped following the other guy completely, even threw the snob movie in the garbage because fudge that ship! Love Movie Nights and you are one of my fav content creators! Hope you have a good Christmas and a great new year!

[@Kat-xt9wh]

I cannot express how much I love all of your content. It makes me incredibly happy to watch someone talk about awful movies from a place of genuine amusement ❤❤❤❤

[@mostlymattmostly6424]

dope, glad you didnt trash your footage

[@mastermarkus5307]

Wow, mom lady acts like she's trying to get through this movie on marijuana and broken dreams.

[@alexdionisos]

Was Neil Breen busy and they just forgot to write his character out?

[@tsarstepan]

This movie is for the Trumpiest of conspiracy theorists.

[@erniemendoza36]

Oh, you know who it's for, and they vote a certain way.

[@jsc315]

This movie is weirdly upsetting and so strange. I'm so very confused did Neil Breen start a production company because this is the level of awful he would do yet somehow is even less competent of media.

[@stefanfilipovits21]

Have a good Christmas, a happy healthy 2020, and thanks for all the great content Alison.

[@SirWilliamKidney]

Haha a happy healthy 2020! That comment aged well :P

[@kirbichu54]

It's been way too long since I've been this baffled at something like this getting made. Thank you for this Christmas miracle

[@chavesa5]

A Movie Nights Christmas episode? But it's not.... oh wait yes it is

[@ebony7177]

I feel the need to stick up for Birdemic and The Room lol. Maybe when they removed the few parts of the movie about the actual shooting that took the story with it and instead of trying to re-film to make something cohesive they just bundled up what they had and sold it. Because as bad as the Room and Birdemic are, at least there was some semblances of a plot. This, this was just a mess lol.

[@rainbowthrustars]

Sorry for such a late comment. I totally forgot to comment and was about to look at it again now when I realize I forgot. This really made my Christmas I can say. Always a fresh air when your videos come out I can say. Never heard of this movie even but I can assure you I will find it and watch it hehe.

[@AllisonPregler]

Thank you!