A letter to Jack: How autism changed one family | Carrie Cariello | TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen

One night, as her family finished watching “The Wizard of Oz” for the umpteenth time, Carrie Cariello’s son Jack told her that the Cowardly Lion, like he, had autism. Baffled, she asked why he thought that. “Because he’s always afraid,” Jack said, and suddenly, another window opened into her son’s often mysterious world. In this TEDxAmoskeagMillyardWomen talk on May 28, 2015, Cariello shares her hopes, her fears, her frustrations and her awe in a letter to Jack.
A writer, blogger and mom of five, Cariello never dreamed she would one day become a writer. She never imagined that she would lay her life bare for people to read on Facebook or in a blog, and especially not in a book. In time, she learned she could best make sense of her long, frustrating days with her second son, Jack, and his autism if she wrote about them. Soon, writing helped her separate the boy from his diagnosis and discover that she fiercely loves them both.
Cariello has been featured on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed site, The Huffington Post, Parents.com, and Autism Speaks.com. She has been interviewed by Fox News’ Manny Alvarez for a segment on Health Now which was broadcast nationally through Fox’s syndication network. She is the author of “What Color is Monday? How Autism Changed One Family for the Better.” Learn more about Carrie Cariello at bit.ly/1HUZfgZ.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@mhinetteshimono6176]

Keep on crying while watching you 😭. My son has autism too. He’s 10 yrs old now. Non verbal. It’s so hard 😭. But I learned so many things from him ❤️

[@bridgettenmekini969]

My college professor wanted me to find a TEDx talk that could examine and used in the classroom. This is so perfect, honest and true. Children with autism often feel afraid. Thank You

[@jodyannefitapatrick]

Perfect Choice...Carrie has a New Book "half my sky" released 12.1.23

[@PI4YOU]

Jack is a very lucky boy. Jack, will also be okay in his life. Your comment about, "always being afraid" is perhaps the most accurate and powerful thing you said. Teach Jack how to manage the fear, it will not be without challenges as the autism will never go away. The possibilities for Jack's future are endless. Find his passion and allow it to grow into a career and teach him social skills. Jack is a very very lucky boy.

[@pambradysharma204]

A touching talk about how Autism effects an entire family and the love that grow from the experience. WORTH WATCHING... A truly personal story about Autism.

[@madhusharma9949]

Shared with so much emotional appeal. Every mother would want to reach out to her and Jack.

[@queenskid7987]

Great story, I was like Jack growing up being an high functiong autistic myself. I'm 20 years old now and seeing kids go through Autism and being so self aware about it at a young age just shows how much awareness is out there compared to what it was when I was in grade school. I didn't know I had autism till I was 13 going on 14 when Autism started become more and more comericalized on tv back in 2010.

[@jodyannefitapatrick]

Love your post Thank You

[@lydiatupitolosongco]

Wow! This brought me to tears as think of my six year old that is Autistic. Thank you so much for sharing. It comforts me to know that other parents feel what I feel at times. Especially as a mother.

[@jimplummer4879]

Iam 63 and have been living in this world not made for me, but made it for me.

[@terri-reborninchrist4168]

I needed this today I'm a mum trying to get my son a diagnosis doctors and health visitor didn't want to listen but now he's at play school the teachers are listening and the next step is speech therapy I buried my head about it to long but finally we're on the right path, as mums this naturally feel like a disaster or the end of the world but don't think too far into the future look at your child now as they are feel the love you feel be their voice their security their teacher embrace their differences positivity is what this suituation needs, good luck to any family going through this

[@TheLeprechaun99]

The greater tragedy would be for your child to not get help. To not know. That knowing is a shield. Not the best shield, but it is a shield. A shield against all the hurtful words. All the cruelty. Because otherwise, your child will believe that he is wrong, broken. Innately flawed to the point that he has no value. This was my experience. This is my experience. I am 25, and only recently discovered Autism. It fit me so well I cried, because I knew I couldn't pretend to be normal anymore. I knew from a very young age that I was not normal. Now I know why. Now I can learn, slowly, to accept myself.

[@missdoommm]

Thank you I'm writing this in tears because there are so many memories that I go back and I feel like a terrible mom because in that moment i did not understanding their needs. But later realized what i had not done at right in that moment. One very similar instance where my child woke me up for the same thing. I'm cold or they may have wet the bed on accident. But did not pick up on their possibly being a need or problem i should attend to.

[@missdoommm]

My son doesn't have all of the autism traits but he has a hard time being verbal and is in speech therapy. He's so quiet and shy and barely speaks up about his needs and other times gets angry and aggressive over them.

[@robynstewardson]

RinnaRoo be kind to yourself - you didn’t know and you did the best you could at the time and with the knowledge you had. xo

[@Aiken47]

😭 I never had a mum like this,

[@tommygun299]

Listening to ur letter to ur son u made me fall apart 😢😢😢 You sound so much like me my son is 8yrs and his name is Thomas and we r from Australia. People don't realise how much we need to prepare them for what lies ahead. I could go on for ever but I won't please feel free to email me ..

[@alexanderbunschoten9318]

Crying rn

[@jakejones1701]

Beautiful. Thank you for this. "Because he is afraid all the time"--that detail really moves me ... My 5-year old daughter has ASD. You lose me when you say "What if he were normal? There is so much I would have missed!" Perhaps I react that way because my daughter, unlike your son, is not high-functioning. I would not say to my daughter "I appreciate your autism" (in the sense you seemed to be using the word "appreciate"). ASD is in no way a gift; ASD is not an alternative view of the world that is independently valuable. No, it is a terrible disability. We need to speak of it that way so that priority is placed on preventing and "curing" it. And because it is the truth.

[@softcrab3361]

Jake Jones look I have the same disability, and you just have to take time when it comes to your daughter, she needs to find the one thing that sparks her interest, and believe me she will be the best at the things that one interest she has and she will be incredibly creative and smart, just give her some time.

[@TheLeprechaun99]

If you 'cure' your daughter of her autism, she will not be your daughter anymore. Autism is not just a disability, it is how your daughter views the world. It affects every single aspect of her and her personality. There is significant research indicating that some of the genes tied to child prodigies are also genes that contribute to autism.

[@sandyvdh6226]

@@TheLeprechaun99 there is no "cure" for autism. Although it must be extremely hard for u as a parent to deal with a non high functioning autistic child ; many high functioning older children/young adults would not want to be "cured" of their autism. People should learn that whoever does not fit the societal norm needs not be "cured".... Wether its about their gender identity , their disability or Mental Health issues....

[@im19ice3]

so maybe i cried a little

[@RayOfSunlight984]

i'm an asperger syndrome but i'm interested on knowing more about both conditions : Asperger & Autism

[@RayOfSunlight984]

@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧An autistic kid can't live autistic free, it ain't a real syndrome, rather a neurodevelopmental condition for live

[@sbsman4998]

The great tragedy is not ASD or Jack. The tragedy is the fact~~> no where for him to naturally flow into when an adult. Let us put Jack, hypothetically, in a native-tribal family. Other males would teach him a trade, yes a trade where he could make spear points all day, be on his own, cure meats, hunt, make a family, build a home, defend his tribe. He would be part of a man's world and not the pandering psychological tinkering of a neurotic mother. The main factor making a "normal" boy would be his tribal native diet devoid of pretzels!!

[@Yosoy919]

Normal? Why use this word ? Can’t she just say different ?

[@scotsan3857]

2:53

[@jodyannefitapatrick]

XOXO

[@annamariafassio1799]

You son doesn't HAVE autism. Your son is your son and you and your family are pushing and pulling him? Jacks mother has NT. JACKS mother has NT. Jacks MOTHER has NT. I wonder if Jack always has patience with Jacks mother.

[@hahna77]

Why do so many of the speakers on these Ted-talks speak like this? Like they're auditioning for the role of "robot stepford wife" on some melodramatic soap opera. So flat and yet still somehow overly dramatic. Ugh. Super pretentious & annoying.