A Live Conversation with Esther Perel and Trevor Noah: Where Should We Begin? | SXSW 2024

Not all conversations with Esther have to happen behind closed doors. Last week, Esther sat down with Trevor Noah, live at SXSW in Austin on the Vox Media stage, for a candid look at the state of comedy in the world we live in. The two of them uncovered some surprising similarities between being a comic and being a therapist. Esther showed Trevor a few ways to become a better listener and Trevor in return helped Esther prep for her new live tour.
If you want to be part of that show too- Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire - and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to www.estherperel.com/tour2024
For Trevor Noah's Off the Record tour visit www.trevornoah.com/shows
This conversation is also available on Esther's podcast, "Where Should We Begin?" Listen through the link below and stay tuned for the Audience Q+A, exclusively on Apple Podcasts subscriptions later this week.
link.chtbl.com/WSWByt

[@AliBPBG]

This makes me wanna walk through life with a tiny Esther on one shoulder and a tiny Trevor on the other, giving me advice and commenting on my decisions. 😅

[@VivianneRoseLee-hz8oo]

😂😂😂 same!

[@user-gs8jx9oc6p]

0:26

[@janisrose6131]

Humor is our ultimate freedom! Both of those people are free! Great video!!

[@olgaboldina5584]

Exactly!

[@sayusayme7729]

Agree 😂, wouldn’t that be amazing? All the years of people saying humour is the best quality in a partner. Being able to laugh at oneself is integral 🤍💫✨🫶✌️

[@verb0ze]

Trevor is low-key a therapist and Esther, low-key a comedian. Amazing dynamic between this duo! More please!

[@cdarma74]

Beautifully interpretation of these two.

[@melodylaila]

Perfectly said!

[@alexandrasanson9138]

​@@melodylaila8j9iij9i9iiîi8jiijjij999jiîj9iîj9i9j9ik9jîiiîîjj9îiîiiinijkjiiijinjiîiniikijknnkinjjiijjkjnnnjjjjjjjknjnjnjijjkknjjjiiijijinjnjjnjijinjijijjjinijnkjjinjjnnjijnnjnijjijjnijijiniijjnjnjjnijjjjnjijjnnjjijininnnkkinjiijijjnnjnjnjjininjjjjînjkîjinkjjinninn

[@alexandrasanson9138]

😊😊😊o😊

[@alisaarmstrong9375]

😊 Yes, more please!! Two of my favorites! So brilliant 🎉

[@healinspaces4u]

Trevor's comedy is healing. Each time I've gone to his show I leave feeling some healing as a woman. It is a tremendous gift as a woman to be left feeling healed by a man. He's brilliant and I'm glad he was born.

[@Pixeleen77]

I'm so with you on this point!🙌🏾

[@malannacareyhenderson8974]

Thats why he sjould have children, to pass on his genius genes. Amen?

[@lauramendoza5938]

❤❤ agreed

[@JulieGlass-kf3rq]

100% !!!

[@angelagladstone8863]

He was raised by strong women ❤

[@healthstartshere]

So many brilliant quotes in this conversation: One of Trevor’s: “Laughter is one of the few emotions that robs your pain of its power.” One of Esther’s: “Humor is the closest you can get to someone without touching them.”

[@cynnia]

I agree with your quote choices.

[@pausekatrine3975]

what a treat!! Two of my favourite people in the world.

[@laurelsfaves2665]

I don’t think there’s a Trevor’s interview that I haven’t watched yet and every time I watch one it amazes me how wise , thoughtful and intelligent this man is !!!!

[@estefif879]

Who thought about putting these two people in a room? Genius!

[@jayanthirangan-uc9oo]

My God. This duo is spontaneous, witty and constantly growing. For me the best part is how they used each other's words - they were listening to each other - with eyes, heart and hands. Yes, humor is a touch.

[@ChirpyChat]

Watching from Singapore! I never imagined seeing Esther Perel and Trevor Noah together.

[@theempire00]

Why not

[@0921AV]

@@theempire00 I think it's because he's a comedian - finds humor on anything - and she is a therapist - finds seriousness on anything. For that reason, and many others, it was a great match!!!

[@tammyjohnson1927]

I think it's because a lot of people cannot find humor in pain. Therapy is supposed to be a meaningful insight to your problems and most people don't find that funny.

[@IEVAKambarovaite]

I desperately didn't want this to end. What a beautiful dance you both created ❤️

[@cpmkw]

"They created a dance!" 🦄🌈🦠🤡

[@DJ_Dutchess]

For the record, I'm glad this one wasn't off the record! 🙏 Two brillant people learning from one another and sharing it with the world. What a gift and privilege to have witnessed this 💫

[@saniyyahhollingsworth7064]

Thank you for all that you do.

[@NenaToya]

The duo we didn't know we needed! Absolutely ❤every second of this. Did not feel like a podcast or a "talk". I was eves dropping on an in-depth, intimate, hilarious, emotional talk between two amazing humans. Absolutely fed my soul

[@gemmadidit4118]

The wonderful thing about this kind of content is the elevated souls that gather in the comments. Wish we could be in the same room 😃!

[@privateperson4842]

gemmadidit sounds like a writer💞

[@gemmadidit4118]

Nah😒. I'm still two thirds potential and it's late in the day🙄. But I choose to be HAPPY😜🤪😁.

[@kekica11]

Or on the same airplane :)

[@pdias8469]

Listening to Esther Perel and Trevor Noah it was the best time I spent this evening.

[@pdias8469]

Ambiguous loss! Yes yes yes. Absolutely right.

[@zizinnnn]

Trevor making Esther laugh is a delight ❤

[@_-JB-_]

Mr. Noah is a dangerous man. I didn't plan to sit and listen to a conversation for almost an hour. Yet I did it. Again.

[@leonorejanson5140]

I love that Esther openly 'confesses' herr stage fright.

[@Emy53]

I know that for 7 years, I was not present with my adult children. I was stuck in a relationship that didn't exist. It was very painful for them to watch me so absorbed in my cellphone with an individual that couldn't be present for me. I am so over it now, and I am so thankful to my daughter for trying to get me to understand and see how stuck I was. I am better now, and was still working on grieving something I could never have. She has helped me by making me aware how I dodged a bullet. I totally agree, and I have moved on. Took me a while, but I am so much better now.

[@maryjeanthomas-johnson2043]

In the Struggle in South Africa we used humour to survive. Judge Albie Sacks used it to survive in 90 days solitary confinement. He sang "Always". ". .I will be loving you always, ...not for 90 days ..but akways.." I will be

[@ann3700]

I always click play..when Trevor is doing an appearance somewhere...this was fulfilling

[@YassamanN]

Can the two of you please make a series of podcasts together? I learned so much just from this one session. Thank you both!

[@estherkim2425]

Did I manifest this?? Literally two of my favorite people coming together from two of my favorite worlds!!! More of this please!! amazing amazing amazing

[@iccotom]

Yes you did. And were all very thankful to you for it 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@kimberlysauber5601]

I can’t decide whose accent and speech patterns I love more!!! I could listen to you both speak every day. Also because of WHAT you both speak about. Love you BOTH so much. Thank you for your time and conversation. ❤

[@nbjansen8255]

Esther just demonstrated her incredible ability to listen to and to engage with her client/interviewee/audience. Trevor was an incredible vehicle for her to do that. Two utterly charming individuals interacting about a range of riveting topics. Surely he had every opportunity here to learn about developing his curiosity and to further develop his true listening ability ...which is what he hoped to get from Esther at this interview.

[@user-mz8ek1sn4f]

Why not someday do a tour together where we can learn from through therapy and laughter at the same time. Great duo dynamic!

[@calewis55]

What a great idea!!! I hope they take this and run with it. This conversation was si wonderful. Deep and true. ❤

[@muoean8219]

Trevor doesn’t realize how well he actually listens! Using the words deridere and entendre correctly… He’s so mindful of those little details🙏🏼

[@safochristian]

Yh, that was great

[@shay-doran]

Esther I loved this notion of the Whole Body Listening, that's certainly how active listening feels - all senses are engaged!

[@RichardDawson-sz4bz]

I'm tuning in for a second time. These two people are brilliant conversational models.

[@joshuaesquivel5721]

This woman is incredibly smart. People that become fluent in multiple languages blow my mind!

[@MliDube]

True. I'm equally fascinated by people who learn a new language as adults. My daughter is ten years old and fluent in three languages. It's the norm growing up in a multicultural country like South Africa, but learning a new language as an adult is very rare.

[@Pixeleen77]

I dated a guy who spoke 7 languages fluently. He was a total tool. It's irrelevant how many languages people speak. Dick heads are dick heads:)

[@privateperson4842]

He's multi-lingual, also.. and his voices of multiple peple are amazing 😂

[@cathypreston1095]

This is like watching a great movie in a theatre or in a group where we laugh and cry together. Thank you everyone.

[@boothvrstudio]

Thank you so much. I miss you Trevor!! I wish you all the best! You are the best!

[@kimberlysauber5601]

38:24 - when I make small talk in a city, people look at me like I’m crazy more than if I’m in a small town. I like small talk because I’ve crossed paths with some REALLY AMAZING people and I wouldn’t have known without small talk. 💯

[@zanaleezee]

Love their points about listening, the quality of listening and how it can shape the way the person we listen to expresses themselves. It's an underrated skill and very very useful and important.

[@BaKellaC47]

I also see how Trevor is confident in himself that he is not uncomfortable speaking to a psychologist/ therapist. He is so sure of himself , and he has quickly taken the lead as if he is the host .

[@kimberlysauber5601]

11:14 - I LOVE that. Humor is the closest you can get without touching someone. So profoundly correct. Love having new thoughts. Thank you.

[@georgeferguson2197]

If I were to think what the perfect conversation could be like, it is THIS. Absolutely riveted to these two exchange thoughts.

[@megancarroll]

Omggggg two people who’s work I adore and this match up makes the most amount of sense ever

[@denisemacedopsico]

Trevor is the best ever 👏🏼👏🏼 I found many psychological concepts and strategies in his speech. He always makes me learn, think and laugh ❣️

[@Nettiaz]

"Tragic optimism" = "You get to decide your reactions to the events which you can not control" ❤️👍

[@elizabethrodrigues2100]

Beautiful conversation between two of you is something nobody can miss .I am looking forward to hear you two

[@b.t.734]

How inspiring and touching to see Esther with Trevor. It may sound as minor but I love seeing the body-appereance of the two of them together. Trevor is soo tall or may be esther is petite. :-) After so much face timing it is great to see corpo-reality.

[@privateperson4842]

Thanks for teaching me a new word corporeality. And french terms, though my brain might not retain it, it's interesting.

[@b.t.734]

@@privateperson4842🌺🌟🌟

[@frankpaquet295]

This was excellent, thank you to Esther Perel and Trevor Noah. It's given me a lot to think about. You two are great!! Thank you. (from Sandi)

[@ellenbruckermarshall4179]

The way we share content with each other- best explanation ever Trevor. Thanks!

[@jovicrada8102]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. That dream interaction between two great people make my day and I will remember for loooong time.

[@trishm3002]

I love how Esther said we listen with our whole body: eyes, ears, smiles, nods, body posture. Amazing insight.

[@bw13579_]

TWO BRILLIANT PEOPLE HAVING A VERY INSPIRING CONVERSATION ❤

[@kasandimulaa9999]

IM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS INTERSECTION

[@carolinehardware9982]

Trevor's laugh heals the soul😅

[@1XclusiveFBA]

whoever thought to bring this two together is a genius

[@dianacirilo]

More of this please!!!❤

[@Bri.Katungi]

The treat I never knew I needed!Thank you❤

[@gemmausiku]

I learnt to listen watching this. You do not need a degree to be a teacher. These two have taught me so much. Thank you!

[@caz119]

Both a great way at looking at relationships and comedy and the relationship comedy has with each person. Indeed laughter is a therapeutic medicine.

[@MaithiliKulkarni]

45 min of Insights from two of the brightest/ wisest minds of our times! Than k you!

[@a_secret_tho]

I absolutely love this. Listening to Esther’s podcast before going to bed is my favorite hobby. I get to reflect on myself, learn and explore new ways, and feel positive and warm and hopeful energy of imagining how I can do better next time. Thank you! And all the luck and support for all of you who watches this video! We deserve love.

[@tandilemakuluma7582]

Two of my faces who have amazing insight on how to relate! So many gems...thank you for an insightful, intelligent, funny conversation. So much respect for both of you and the work you do.

[@renatakrasovskaja5824]

this duo is the cutest!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@Julieglam3]

I adore Trevor. I could listen to him speak all day, every day. I have only recently discovered Esther but so glad I have. So refreshing to listen to two people who are so intelligent, insightful, funny and engaging. With so much discord and insanity going on right now, THIS was so needed...💕

[@1991Depa]

Admire both of them from Singapore

[@esfuturestrading]

This is something I never expected. What a treat!

[@megv6467]

I wish Esther did a tour in the UK. I really enjoyed the conversation between the these two greats in their own right.

[@Julzableful]

Beautiful conversation with a beautiful soul. I love comedy and the art of it. I have always used it to connect to people even in times when I've felt unsafe to help gain some footing in the social dynamic.. really enjoyed this reflective, insightful discussion on why it's so important in our lives. Thank you so much for bringing this to us, Esther!

[@privateperson4842]

Just yesterday someone I know and respect said I need to get out with people more. So this was good timing on that path.💙🌎❤️

[@SunraeSkatimunggr]

This was a wonderful conversation!!! I have always loved Trevor Noah, but Ester Perel is great as well. They are both philosophers, psychologists and comedians...as well as many other things.

[@0921AV]

Excellent!!! Love them both, great match for an interview. Thanks.

[@maribelsandoval4405]

This was such a delightful and real conversation- thank you both 🙏🏼

[@Kixperience]

Lovely surprise and what a good listening.

[@artistmaureensharkey5321]

This may become one of the best all time talks!

[@jessicakuilan670]

Absolutely love this. As a fellow therapist, these two dynamics are sooooooooo on point. Love them both!

[@nuriap3278]

I haven't seen it yet but my like 🎉is for bringing these two together, to start with...

[@thescowlingschnauzer]

To be a good listener, you have to know what to listen for. You have to not project, meaning not listen selectively.

[@Sara-321]

My two favorite people! I’m excited to give this a listen.

[@marikaoconnor5058]

Both of them so thoughtful and genuine. Impressive.

[@asmahamidullah9571]

Thank you both so much! God bless you! ❤🇹🇹

[@steffanhegeman6351]

Absolutely fantastic, both of them!

[@erikserum9519]

Trevor noah and Esther perel have really good connection ❤❤😊. Trevor is amazing

[@PureJoyJoyPure]

WONDERFUL MINDS! Thankyou for posting. The volume was excellent as well.

[@rosemariekimball5787]

Love and appreciate those two people.

[@kunwaranujsingh9980]

❤ Esther

[@makeoneonly]

Esther great teacher ❤

[@desidimceva8907]

I am a fan of both of you for years. I was expecting a fun conversation but you both outlived my expectations in the very first minutes and kept doing so until the end. I want to thank you for sheding fresh inteligemt ideas and profound thruths as you go. Keep up ! You are amazing

[@akara2137]

This conversation is very touching and intimate! I learned so much. ❤ I love you and your vulnerability, Esther!

[@GloryDaze73]

❤❤Heaven is Here! These are two of my favorite people, having a wonderful convo.

[@JG-cq6ud]

Esther ❤

[@anagarciadiaz8549]

Such an enriching listening. Thankful for the people who being proffesional in their fields dare to expose themselves on the internet and share themselves with the world meaningfully❤

[@paulricketts7857]

A very precious conversation.. I am very thankful for this experience..wonderful ❤

[@kidistgetachew7565]

I love love love me some Trevor

[@thescowlingschnauzer]

Stage fright: I don't know how to do this. Nerves: I know how to do this. I don't know what's on the other side of me doing it.

[@anilenk2103]

Humour in the face of hardship is very familiar to the South-African mind....to tell jokes about things that are painful...I think it helps to process difficult events. I have seen that from Israel too recently....

[@ochiengodhiambo]

Two legends .....they are intelligent n I can listen to them without getting bored.

[@cfatv-gp4ye]

What a combo 💯✨

[@lucierey574]

Two of my most listened to podcasts atm! Awesome! Big love & much respect for them both 🙌🏼

[@cutemanager244]

What a combo!!!!!I am so thrilled👌🏾🤛🏾🙌🏾💃🏾💃🏾

[@corinejansen]

Thank you Esther and Trevor!! This was such a pleasure. Thank you for talking about Listening. Listening is an active, vital practice of curiosity, empathy, and connection. It challenges us to be fully present with others, to engage with the unknown, and to allow ourselves to be transformed by the act of truly hearing someone. In this way, listening can shape both the speaker and the listener, forging bonds of understanding that transcend words.

[@CatCassandra]

What a fresh approach from Trevor and delighted to see Esther! ❤

[@persephone_GreekMyth]

My two favorite people! This was so good!!! These voices together- just magical!!!

[@ZuzanaBzonkova]

Oh! My ♥always jumps with joy when the insightful people I have followed for years join to create sth together! This interview is,unsurprisingly wonderful! So mesmerizing that I've listened to it 5x in one evening! Thank you, Esther and Trevor, for all the content here on KZbin and also for this deep and witty interview, both enriching and funny!

[@mankadimemokone1771]

I am smiling. Beautiful conversation. Who would of thought a therapist and a comedian ❤

[@bethruegg78]

Such a wonderful conversation between the two of you! Both extremely intelligent human beings, both have great emotional maturity. Enjoyed this a lot, thanks for sharing your stories and insight 😊

[@cocobloco5056]

They are brilliant in their analysis' while making you feel more comfortable with our insecurities . I think Trevor Noah is a modern day philosopher. The use of humour is so key to dealing with life but he combines intelligence and insight with humour in a way that it does not deride serious issues. It makes one see another side to these issues and may help deal with them in a healthier way.

[@OlegSidorenko1974]

He is a philosopher indeed, and all great comedians are. George Carlin and Louis CK come to mind, although both can be quite bitter unlike Trevor.

[@cocobloco5056]

@@OlegSidorenko1974 Exactly !

[@TheNeish77]

❤❤❤My favourites together!! Mind blown!!! Thank you!!