I enjoyed this exchange very much. Lots of insight into the human condition here. Thank you.

A feminist and a traditionalist. Go figure…

Brilliantly kind! 💖

My dad is an emotionally immature man. I know he cares about us and even mom but it didn’t stop him ruining our family. Now they’re getting divorced and it happened too fast. Last month we were one united family, now we fell apart. And feels like my life fell apart. I’m trying to imagine my family separated and every morning i feel like I forgot about it and I have to remember again that my dad didn’t go for a work and he’s not gonna come back. It’s like he’s dead. I feel like we will never have normal relationships ever again. We will always be distant. And I will only feel some kind of a compassion and love just because he’s my father, not for the person he is. And it confusing me because he’s not a bad person at all. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know how to act around him that’s why I don’t want to talk to him or see him much. I don’t know how am I gonna trust a man and not keep thinking he’s gonna leave me one day. I will have to keep reminding myself that I am not my mum and none of these guys is my dad. It’s crazy even when you’re adult your parents effect your life deeply. But because we’re adults we can actually heal from this and take control of our lives. We can’t let our traumas to rule our lifes. Don’t worry people everything is gonna be okay. Even it’s not you have the strength to deal with this 🤗💪🏼

There is a saying in the german language: "Er/sie spricht mir aus der Seele". Meaning: Someone else is speaking "out of my own soul" (It's nothing religious, btw!). Very rarely in life (if at all!) you are lucky enough to ever meet a person who is framing views and formulating opinions EXACTELY the way you do in all your thinking and emotions. I have a very close, very educated, very intellectual long time friend, who is "speaking out of my soul". Strangely enough: The other one is a person I never once met in my life: Trevor Noah ...

There is no certainty evah

I’ve been married for seven years and lately all we do is fight even for small things. We are both good people and love each other. Double income, no kids, we should enjoy life, right? Sometimes it feels like love is not enough. Two strong, opinionated, stubborn people ughh! Hope you all find partners who get you, listen to you, and are willing to be your ally and best friend. Watch those first fights in the beginning of the relationship. That will be all you argue about for the rest of your life. Also, dive into your past traumas and check if your partner is an antidote or throws more fire on them. I love you Esther, you speak truths. I wish you gave us couples therapy :( so needed right now. Best!

Excellent perspective. I also think we're in an upward revolution to figure out how to live happier lives. New generations evolving to feel safe, secure and happy without hard labor in excess, a bazillion daily tasks to fit in, essential tasks to just survive and feel a safe road ahead of you. I yearn for the progress. Creative minds are locked up until they are safe to explore without risk to their freedom. I look forward to learning from your wisdom❤

It all sounds great but I could never forgive, no matter what. That’s my choice.

Esther, bring your wisdom to Barcelona!

My advice .Stay single.

This is our go to video with my partner whenever we feel like we are in a loop or at an impasse. It's a reminder to look inward for both of us and in 6 minutes, I feel the emotional flooding reducing. With practice we'll become better communicators and resolve our conflicts better.

True

U said it all wow!

over and over I can watch this 5minutes. MY God, how many fuckin simple words are important and effective and i was always negative to herrrr .and i was thinking she doesnt want to have fun with me or ,......thanks Miz ESther Perel 😍😍😍😍😍

Once a cheater, always a cheater. No second chance

One of few conversations I listen with normal speed.❤

🌍❤️♥️💜💙💚💛🧡❤️♥️💜🌎 ♥️Gorgeously Lovely!‼️💚❤️♥️💟 🌎💚♥️💜💚💛🧡❤️♥️💜💚🌍

I met a man and he introduce me to Esther. So I am dating and doing couple therapy at the same time. I have been awaken but I feel this patience but that's from God. Esther has taught me to be easy on a man, willingly, to be more playful, more foreplay and most of expectations. Esther if he decides to marry me I want you to marry us. ❤ His the most wonderful being I have ever met.

This is sheer crp....

Great tip. I was always anxious about her perception about me. Now I will stop overthinking and just do it

men have sexual trauma too. don’t be afraid to talk to someone trusted/professional because you deserve healing too.

Shared reality of the record. 🤩😍

Yes. I wish someone would prove me wrong.

Picking your battles and "not making a big deal" about stuff all sounds really great,wonderful,cute,and adorable until you start giving inches and somebody starts taking miles.Giving inches and allowing other people to take miles nah not today don't think so.If you want to come at me and you think that I'm going to give inches and allow somebody to take miles then guess what news flash youv'e got to be much smarter then that you brain dead fucktard.

I absolutely adore this woman's wisdom and eloquence. Incredibly helpful. I wish everyone in the world could listen and learn from her. Even on the level of countries, political leaders should learn from her in dealing with geopolitical relationships.

Perfecto!🎈💯❤

Girl owned a business had 400 thousand in the bank was extremely attracted to my looks but once she found at ( I truthfully told her I'm rebuilding from a last fianceship a year ago I invested 20 grand in a car a house and we split up its a year later I have two jobs got 2 grand saved so far , she just totally stopped talking lol. This was on POF. didn't feel good. But nice to know I attract beautiful women.

You want to be right or married

Love both of them❤

Once you can understand to free yourself and your Cheating partner from the Sin and Forgive in the real way to remember NO more. Possibly you partner reforms but if that Boundary is crossed again …Forgive as before and move on in new freedom without hate…they will realize that someone else is Loving The Gem They Fumbled. Bless you all and always pray for strength and wisdom…Thank God always for Good and Bad…there is valuable lessons hidden in Pain…

Biologically, men are polygamous, and women are monogamous

Sometimes a poor choice??

Wow Esther ❤you are so insightful. Thank you 🙏🏻

This was so good ❤

Two of my favorite people on the planet, oh my gosh, I couldn’t pass this one up

Yay for Gestalt Therapy leading the way for other modalities that explore parts of self!

Wow her words are just amazing

Points that stood out to *me*: 1) The way the listener engages, molds the speaker. It informs the speaker how to proceed. Doesn't matter if the listener was well intentioned and listening, if their body language doesn't show it. 2) When amazing things happens, there is an innate feeling of wanting to share it with people. Having an immediate outlet through the phone, short circuits that release instead of engaging connecting with people around. 3) Sometimes stage fright, might not be fear so much as being overwhelmed. Sometimes over-preparing brings on too much pressure to remember everything that was prepared.

I learnt to listen watching this. You do not need a degree to be a teacher. These two have taught me so much. Thank you!

Esther, thank you for this beautiful conversation! Please do a video on how men and women can and should have platonic friendships 🙏💕🫶

Super proud of you Trevor...This is so profound...Ester, you must come to Capetown South Africa and invite me to your show... I have 1 of your books in my school library called...Not for adults👏👏👏👏

My best advice as a guy is that the unfortunate reality of human relationships, if she had sex with another guy you have no real options other than leaving and dealing with the pain

Her words, descriptions, labels and what she thinks men think come from a WOMAN'S perspective. The highest percent of men don't see themselves as full of power or powerless. Men don't view things in terms of identity or privilege. Power, privilege and identity are female's assessment of the world. Men are single focused and care about being competitive with other men, competing with themselves, competing with money, machines, nature, design etc. Men look to push to the edge of failure, fail and try again. The highest percent of men compared to women are solitary, self reliant and easily aloof to what others think - in other words they are skilled, satisfiedly quiet, fixing without ego whatever is around, focused and avoid complaining as much as possible. Men don't think about losing their "masculinity", women think in this exaggerated manner of "loss". Men just pick up and keep going. When someone says "be a man" it means use what is ALREADY GIVEN and is encouraging advancing what already exists building confidence. With that in light, men that come to a female therapist are vulnerable to see the way a woman sees the world.

"expressing remorse says I care about you," Really? You would think that if they cared about their partner, they wouldn't have cheated. I'd love to see the 1 and 3 year on how many couples stay together after cheating, and how many cheaters cheat again. edit: Found it. 53% od couples divorce in 5 years or less after infidelity. Here's my question....who is the man who wants to kiss his wife knowing someone else's body parts were in that mouth?

Robert Greene says that people rarely do something just once. wink wink People behave in patterns

Interestingly I developed a series of questions about the things that truly matter to me that I affectionately dubbed “the gauntlet” that I asked everyone to answer that I was interested in getting to know better…just to narrow down who to invest time in…the online dating market can be soooo overwhelming! I am now in a wonderfully meaningful relationship where we are both willing to engage in “the work”. That goes a long way.

I am a fan of both of you for years. I was expecting a fun conversation but you both outlived my expectations in the very first minutes and kept doing so until the end. I want to thank you for sheding fresh inteligemt ideas and profound thruths as you go. Keep up ! You are amazing

two of my favorites of all time!!!

I love how human Esther is. <3