A Man's Guide To Defeating The Inner Critic

Talking points: psychology, mindset, self-talk
This is one of THE things that blocks men from all kinds of growth and progress. An internal dialogue that is harsh, abusive, shaming, even cruel. Let's change that, shall we?
If you or someone you know is constantly deprecating or talking negatively towards themselves, strongly encourage you to share this one. It's important.
(00:00:00) - Intro, how prevalent a harsh inner critic is, and how nasty mine was
(00:06:56)- Where does an inner critic come from, and how is it formed?
(00:11:26) - Neglect and abandonment
(00:16:16) - Trauma as an origin for a harsh inner critic
(00:17:23) - “Dark motivation” and it’s useful but maladaptive power
(00:23:15) - It damages your ability to appreciate or validate yourself
(00:25:28) - What to do, what NOT to do, and questions you can use to find your inner critic’s origin
(00:29:01) - Figure out what it wants
(00:30:42) - Set some boundaries
(00:32:26) - Repurpose the loyal soldier
(00:35:27) - Build a relationship with this part of you
***
My book, Men's Work:
mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Stay Connected
Instagram: / mantalks
Facebook: / mantalks.ca
Website: mantalks.com
Subscribe to the podcast here:
Spotify - open.spotify.com/show/7pERITP...
Apple Podcasts - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
#MensWork #adviceformen #carljung

[@Open_Eyes_Open_Heart]

Treat yourself like you would a friend. Forget where I heard this but it's been a good reminder for me.

[@popeyethepirate5473]

Sounds like Jordan Peterson

[@FightOrDie08]

Yeah I need this video. I hate myself. Verbally and physically abusive towards myself. I’m struggling to escape.

[@RyanBooker79]

The fact that you are aware is a fantastic start mate. Keep digging to find out who is actually talking to you…

[@amantinoubliable]

Which actions will you take to change this situation ?

[@jackhubert]

Man you are articulate. I admire it.

[@mattstreet4104]

Wow, just wow... This is me exactly. Ive always been so critical of myself for 10+ years and the majority of that i convinced myself it was a good thing. Only recently have i tried to stop because the results really weren't showing. Was just a spiral of self-depreication. Thank you for sharing this is was very helpful.

[@JazzyArtKL]

An awesome interpretation to inner child work. Currently going through my own journey by identifying that I'm trying to get my dad's approval (always sad, drinking and non talking, passed in 2019). I drank to get his approval. I immediately quit a month ago when I had this insight. I've purchased your book. Gonna work through it.

[@thomasbrouwer2771]

Epic video. Way more people should have seen this.

[@mosestoliver4068]

I deal with this every day! As a fighter it hinders my ability to fight at my full potential. Every fight I have I’m in the locker room battling my mind always telling me I’m not good enough. I know exactly where this negative mindset comes from and it very hard to escape it

[@benrodriguez3668]

Great post (as always). Good men have an inner critic to kick ourselves in the ass. But it can go too far and foster insecurities. Let it drive you and then have gratitude for the work you're doing.

[@wuyingren]

Glad I subscribed. Keep doing the good work! The mental trap we give ourselves is harsh, and I know I did and do that by thinking I’m in the dungeon or a hyperbolic time chamber of pressure. Crazy right?! 😅

[@amantinoubliable]

Thank you for an other guide Connor, they are amazing

[@MikenMc]

When I got to the end of this it felt very reminiscent of Jung’s teachings and integration of one’s shadow self. This was a good video

[@jameshale9901]

Connor, I definitely think you should get Richard Schwartz or Gabor Mate on the podcast. I think hearing them answer questions with emphasis on men/masculinity would be very original and profound content.

[@oliviamoore5328]

Can you do a video on avoidants inner dialogue vs what they say or do out loud ?

[@a.d.b535]

My parents treated me very well but.my dad often belittled mom, which I adopted on some level and bf says Im insecure..

[@user-lm2vs1sl3v]

I’ve done pretty well in life so far but now in my 60s I hear my dad telling me I’m stupid and a failure. I realise he had a lot of issues and when I was younger these were projected onto me.

[@hoboditch3093]

Its like trying to convince a dog I've nearly beaten to death constantly over 30 years that I now love him and I'm so sorry but he's in the fetal position crying and won't talk to me. I'll keep trying 🎉 how do we stop believing something we've convinced ourselves is true?

[@jiannisbonatakis]

it doesnt matter. you cant have some things. and not been likable can be one of them