A Mentalist Guide to Social Interaction | Tom Indigo | TEDxBismarck

A Mentalist Guide to Social Interaction | Tom Indigo | TEDxBismarck
Tom shares three life hacks which are key to building good habits for social interaction. He shares that these tricks will help in every aspect of life because people interact with others in everyday life. Thomas Grudzinski works as a software developer at FAST Enterprises, but is known by many as Tom Indigo: Mentalist. Tom first began performing magic in 2009 in Chicago, the birthplace of close-up magic. Shortly thereafter, he focused his attention to mentalism, the art of reading and influencing thoughts through psychology, intuition, and social interaction.
Tom graduated from Northwestern University in 2017 with a triple major in Mathematics, Economics, and Mathematical Methods in the Social Sciences. During his time as an undergrad he cofounded the Northwestern Magic Club and taught its members how to thrive in social interactions and create magical experiences for anybody they meet. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@mayne159]

1. Be bold Unlearn your social fears Notice and compliment people 2. Be a good listener Be active, dont hijack the convo Nod 3 three times to stay alert 3. Be passionate Everyone is unique, try to learn sthg abt them Be passionate when ure talking

[@anidane4287]

Thanks You saved my time

[@chaindawgR6]

thanks, this is apart of my homework lolol

[@thomafuad6523]

😌😌😌 I’m Noding

[@zaiyuanlu8751]

A+ student, I'll use your summary, thanks

[@bastian7106]

I hate how you write but thanks you

[@kit8209]

I never really learned how to interact properly in elementary school due to a lot of friendship issues and overall bad friendships that negatively affected both me and others. I also happen to have adhd and go on rants a lot and I’m trying to become more self aware, this was very helpful

[@love-su1ez]

As someone who has anxiety I actually like when ppl with adhd ramble. I hope this doesn’t sound weird but I find it kind of cute. Idk why. Since I don’t talk much (at least at first) I don’t mind listening 🙃 but becoming more self aware is great hope it’s going well

[@tomindigo3254]

Same here. I didn’t realize it back when I gave this talk, but a big part of the content can especially help fellow neurodivergent folks consolidate their social deficits. May your quest for better social awareness be a fruitful one!

[@DAMfoxygrampa]

This is basically the 80/20 principle applied to social interaction. These few tips will give you 80% of the results. Good advice

[@tomindigo3254]

Spot on! Thank you for the kind words 😊

[@TradeEchelon]

I like what you said. It gives me hope I can become a better version of myself in the future.

[@PlantagenetRose]

Social anxiety brought me here

[@tomindigo3254]

Chim Chim Panda Social anxiety is why I ended up on that stage! Hope you got something good out of it 🙂

[@princealmighty5391]

Nice profile picture buddy! Very flash

[@Michael-go9hm]

AHAHAHA and for me, it dragged me here

[@tednirvana2]

I had the same issue before, but now I just hate interaction with people. They hate me when I'm being honest but judge me when I lie

[@marveon9815]

Yep 🥴

[@videologs2400]

Most underrated video...better than numerous other conversation or social videos.

[@tomindigo3254]

Video Logs Thank you for the kind words! I’m glad it helped 🙂

[@videologs2400]

@@tomindigo3254 😊😊

[@losto9247]

If you show you vulnerability and get upset because another person or people took advantage of that, remember it is not you, it is them - sociopaths. So don’t get too angry or upset, notice situation and find gratitude to whatever happened. Because thanks to universe you were given an opportunity to kick toxic people out from your life and learn ❤️👌😌peace

[@aisuluuduisheeva2648]

I have never thought that being vulnerable is showing your genuineness toward a person you are talking to.

[@tomindigo3254]

You know, if I had more time on this talk I’d have expanded on that point. We all wear “masks” for various social contexts in an effort to fit in. Unfortunately, the price of fitting in can often be a weakened genuine connection.

[@Michael-go9hm]

This guy was awesome, reminds me of my older brother

[@buatamante62]

Honestly a great video! Hopefully I can incorporate this!

[@tomindigo3254]

Anthony Bustamante I hope it goes well for you! I tried to make it as tangible and practical as possible

[@asariqbal5341]

Great! Being an active and patient listener is really important 👍

[@franciscopham6596]

all I do is listen. I have nothing to say back is the problem

[@urdin2242]

You laid it out exactly how I needed. Thank you, man.

[@soilmilk4712]

School's starts next week and definitely my lack of social interaction has brought me here.

[@Michael-go9hm]

This was great and simple to grasp

[@tomindigo3254]

Michael M Thank you for this kind words 😊

[@jasonfreeman5850]

Grateful for self.. and this video!!!

[@dr.magdahhassan5580]

Nice talk. Thanks a lot.

[@lykimgech3806]

Thx q so much. This deserves more views

[@tomindigo3254]

Ly Kimgech Thank you so much 😊

[@ff-kr9mn]

It was a nice talk. Learned something interesting. Thank you so much Tom🙂

[@candykandy]

Great tips. Thank you!

[@philmcgroin]

For a lifechaning book on this subject, see: The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

[@meenaxirana2695]

Well said!

[@g0rdo176]

This video changed my life

[@Ctskates]

I smoked my social skills out the window so im hoping this will help.

[@BiowareKaiserGirl]

I am not sure what it is but I never knew what to say around people most of the time. I listen to what they are talking about and I never know whay to add that isn't awkward weird. I tried it before I just get a look and a awkward response and things move on again... it is do tiring..

[@tomindigo3254]

I hear you. The same thing used to happen to me ALL the time. One tip that helps me is “be more interested than interesting”. Basically, ask open ended questions about the other person. Get a sense of what excites them as they answer, and then follow up with another open question that lets them dive deeper into whatever excited them. Nothing you say or do can interest people more than themselves. Once they ask you something in return (Assuming they’re polite and socially cognizant), there’s no shame in having a couple of “scripted” responses. Put some thought into how you respond to common questions, and figure out how to answer in a concise and charming way. Hope that helps a little 😊

[@JustmeSEVEN]

"it's easier to present our best self on screen" Me: yeah yeah •-•

[@NabiryeDoreen-de5mq]

Thank you

[@allxson_k]

I'm here bc our face to face class is about to start.

[@sujith0999]

Great speech. .I can't understand why the viewers number is so less. ..

[@mwiilamulenga6935]

Neither can I

[@matta9358]

Good video, belongs on the main channel really.

[@kartiksarode7726]

Really helping me

[@Ammar_k1]

I packaged it alright!

[@bydiebydie5535]

Great video!!!

[@tomindigo3254]

Bydie Bydie Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

[@azkcm]

Em, you also need to be that good looking to show compliment to a stranger or they would think that you are a weirdo, wouldn’t they?

[@ZTheLastViking]

That's what I thought too It's not just what is said but also who gives the compliment that matters

[@robertochacon5338]

that's why the compliment must be neutral. like on the shirt, not on the boobs... LOL

[@sbo6477]

Everyones on social media which is anything but social so spending hours a day being anti-social then when actual social interaction occurrs you are prohibited

[@carrie5194]

I have to meet my crush's friends in two days and I rlly don't want to mess it up... 🙃being introverted sucks sometimes

[@MirzaTauqirYoutube]

Million dollar content but only 45k views

[@tomindigo3254]

You’re too kind! You can always help by sharing on social media.

[@jacketw6855]

This is a valuable speech but if I would look around standing on a bus and I would compliment to a stranger, I guess that would be that cringe situation that the stranger and the other passangers would remember for a long time. Once I did something similar, although not complimenting, but it became a painful regret.

[@tomindigo3254]

Sometimes you’ll feel self conscious or cringey when you first start. That’s ok, it’s part of the learning process. Even when you are cringey, 99% of the time people just forget about you. You have nothing to lose by being kind 🙂

[@joshuasihombing8340]

Are you sure? Are you sure it would be cringe? Are you sure they would remember it for a long time? Are you sure they would even care about you? Sometimes it's about being strong for get rejected, and that's called confidence

[@mirouu13]

Nice

[@coordinator3039]

Here because of someone who made me realize I need a doctor.

[@richard-social8125]

Is this meant to advice for work environemnts as well.

[@ericmartinez7322]

10:52 time stamp no offense but what works for you does not work for me.

[@anonymousperson3433]

3:05

[@dnsnsjsjsj]

isn't it people pleasure mentality?

[@tomindigo3254]

Good question! People-pleasing is generally the term used to describe sacrificing your own well-being to make others feel better. I certainly don’t advocate that. But I do advocate making people happy whenever it’s feasible for you. After all, what do you have to lose?

[@TradeEchelon]

@@tomindigo3254 I agree!

[@HDLitch]

I can do 1 and 2 not 3 though

[@mazzerdorazio2433]

The MLM recruiters that hang out in Target watched this video

[@elizabethbanks2074]

The guy seems a little off on stage. Wonder if he’s tried taking an acting class.

[@tomindigo3254]

Good eye! Truth be told, I was completely off my game that day. Several things behind the scenes took place that made it difficult for me to switch into performance mode. Plus, I was pretty nervous because I built up the idea of a TEDx talk so highly in my head. But I was lucky that the message came across and seemed to benefit my audience.

[@paragbharadia2895]

you are god!

[@TheLGNDAslan]

COVID-19 Brought Me Here.

[@tomindigo3254]

Now that COVID-19 restrictions are lifting, I hope you’ll try flexing your social muscles 🙂

[@Wally12936]

First

[@alexplingu4373]

second

[@triniSOCCERdude1]

im sure he was using magic to hit on girls in the street. totaly pick up artist thing...nice! B)

[@loombaron]

be bold, not italic

[@adventurousone5077]

Give your life to Jesus Christ. Believe and pray: *God, I know I'm a sinner. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, died on the cross for my sins and arose again on the 3rd day. I confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and accept Him as my Savior. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.* It's about making a choice. Really believe. Speak it aloud and mean it.

[@chrishill1800]

Ted talks are so boring

[@septemberdreamer2651]

on god

[@anshikasharma8315]

Then why are you here commenting them

[@mwiilamulenga6935]

What was so boring abt this ? It's u who is f*cking boring body !

[@waffle1967]

@@mwiilamulenga6935 Buddy*