A Tahini Bit Of Perspective On Politics

Hillary's in hiding, Trump won't go away and Jeb... zzzzzzzzzzzzz... wait, what we talking about?
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[@SailingSeignior]

It amazes me that Fallon and Kimmel do better than Stephen. His writers are way more talented, his act is way better, and his interviews are top-notch. I think Stephen will be leading in the ratings in no time.

[@skiballasthegreat4945]

Shows the caliber of people living in America when Jimmy is preferred to Stephen ;-)

[@katra777]

+SailingSeignior He just started, give him time.

[@Cyberlucy]

+SailingSeignior I think eventually Colbert will be the star of Late Night.

[@snausages43]

+SailingSeignior He should have stayed on the Report. This show is crashing and burning.

[@paradoxacres1063]

+SailingSeignior Colbert needs to show exclusive Superhero Movie Trailers on his KZbin channel. I bet that would help.

[@jkohler7996]

This is why Stephen Colbert is the best

[@emmanuelezekiel541]

jake7996 I'm surprised no haters have replied to your comment yet. Iove him to

[@VelexiaOmbra]

I'm a white American male, Donald Trump's existence offends me.

[@zetenhap975]

Arab Muslims are White.

[@theamazingliberalfan1781]

+Velexia Ombra Yeah these stupid Republitards really are stupid hahah

[@LTrotsky21stCentury]

+Velexia Ombra I am a human being. And Donald Trump is not.

[@WakeRunSleep]

+Velexia Ombra Awesome, another self-hating white person.

[@VelexiaOmbra]

I love myself, where did you get that I hate myself? Because Donald Trump's existence offends me? That's a leap.

[@fidorover]

FUN FACT: Jeb Bush and Ben Carson have just replaced Ambien & Jack Daniels as America's favorite one-two punch for insomnia.

[@fidorover2]

+fidorover LOL

[@factsabouturmum9250]

+fidorover I end every night with a shot of Ben-adryl and some of that dank jeb kush.

[@bringthepaynepayne9738]

fidorover HIL-PHUCKING-LARIOUS!!!!

[@demi7913]

Do people realise the debate is on the Weekend Star Wars comes out? This was certainly done on purpose

[@juicemaybe4655]

+same vans yeah bro it's the fuckin luminati they know ppl only have two whole hours out of that whole week to spare and there gonna spend it watching star wars. *sarcasm

[@swordfish2365]

+Jane Marie ^ love it.

[@SupremeStoops]

+Jane Marie Or you know, it could just be that the people who are in charge of scheduling of the debates are on Hilary's side... It's honestly not that ridiculous if actually think about it instead of just automatically claiming it as some sort of ridiculous conspiracy theory.

[@lnhart7157]

+Jane Marie Nah, not the Illuminati. Just CNN, which hosts the debate. Oh, and, by the way, belongs to Time Warner which has donated to Hillarys campaign. I know, crazy conspiacy.

[@demi7913]

Jane Marie I was actually being tongue in cheek with this post, but cool

[@abdullahmoiz8151]

Colbert is the best on tv right now

[@AmirPharaoh]

Hahaha .. I didn't know that "Tahini" and "Baba ghanoush" are popular in the U.S .. The way he mocked "Bob Carson" with Middle Eastern dishes is just amazing .. And I almost fell down from laughing at the end .. I've been following this show for weeks now.

[@ubbafire]

He didn't say JEB!!!!

[@Carlteezus]

+Bashir Muttawa It's too ironic at this point

[@RandyKillerOrtan1]

aww he didn't say Jeb the way I liked it

[@allens1377]

+Yo Mama Jehhhhhhhhhhhhhbbbbbbbbb

[@ysabarro]

same thought

[@somerandomgalontheinternet3863]

+Yo Mama Hi mom.

[@wlmkn]

Stephen should give Bernie more publicity.

[@snausages43]

+xXAlexBulletKillXx I guarantee he would if he was still on the Report. I bet CBS won't let him. Given Stephen's views on campaign finance, Bernie seems like his ideal candidate, unless he was fooled by Shillary "9/11" Clinton.

[@MusicOrLoseItTV]

Or anyone outside the failed 2-party system.

[@closetpan]

+xXAlexBulletKillXx My google search skills may suck right now but the Daily Show with Trevor Noah has not mentioned Bernie Sanders since nearly October and that was not a positive episode.

[@TheNeandershot]

+xXAlexBulletKillXx That's called bias.

[@Stbuster31]

+fffan9391 Viacom who owns Comedy Central would also not give Bernie equal air time or a fair image. The mouthpiece Trevor Noah has been beating on Bernie all Fall. Colbert is way too smart to be duped by Clinton. And he holds himself with too high of integrity to support the Clinton sham. He actually has been the most critical of Clinton in the mainstream media if you listen carefully. But he has to leave caveats after he bashes her.

[@lordlacolith]

"Eyelid advertising opportunity" bahahaha

[@youseffa1396]

Those Arabic food puns killed me. LMAO!!!

[@ExileOnDaytonStreet]

Every now and then, Colbert does one of these desk segments and I keep wondering if he'll accidentally end it with "... and that's The Word"

[@KingOfMadCows]

I know how to keep Muslims out, using my patent pending bacon visas. Trump can also use them to win the support of Christie and Huckabee. I also have an idea for scotch infused green cards.

[@ledichang9708]

+KingOfMadCows Not absinthe infused?

[@ethanboyd6885]

+KingOfMadCows I know how to keep Americans out (of Australia), using my patent pending vegetable Visa's.

[@dannysmith785]

+Ethan Boyd You could keep Australians out of England with my patent pending shower visa.

[@ethanboyd6885]

Danny Smith Ooooh ! Last I checked though, it was the English who everybody thought didn't shower enough. Everybody usually associates Australians with laziness.

[@ethanboyd6885]

Jing Li As much as I dislike the current Americans, their general view of the world and their role in it, saying unhelpful, nasty, belligerent and outrageously genocidal garbage like that isn't good for anybody Jing Li. I only hope the Americans out there who see what you have written treat it as nothing more than bait and exercise restraint in replying to you.

[@AngusAndBubba]

Sounds like stephen needs to feel the bern

[@ledichang9708]

+AngusAndBubba Would you like Sanders to join this obviously sarcastic segment? Sure Stephen can make fun of his age or hair I guess...

[@SupremeStoops]

+Decapitated Angel so is your dad

[@robertfernandez3115]

+SupremeStoops LMAO, good one.

[@nolanchoy5569]

+AngusAndBubba wtf? you butthurt bernie sanders supporters. he makes fun of every candidate in this segment and youre like... "but what about bernie sanders"...

[@germiah31]

+Tom Howard What the hell are you even talking about? Get off of youtube, it's apparently too hardcore for you.

[@samybasile]

"you're Couscous!" Priceless

[@Msmira3]

Stephen Colbert is the funniest !

[@h3llbouy]

Such good writing...the last part especially!

[@Arion661]

Masterful puns, good sir

[@siasleopard2668]

+Arion661 why no high five

[@oxyharmonic]

"former neurosurgeon, and eyelid advertising opportunity, Dr Ben Carson" ... that one really made me laugh out loud.

[@pseudonayme7717]

"Eyelid advertising opportunity,Ben Carson" lol. Almost as good as "County clerk and forehead magnate,Kim Davis" :D

[@authman-alshibly]

I've been watching this clip for the past 8 years and I just can't get enough of it! 😂😂😂 Especially now that he might be Trump's running mate.

[@krich451]

for as much as people make fun of o'malley he always makes some good points in the debates. I would vote for him before Hillary Clinton.

[@okrajoe]

Colbert brings the funny.

[@12345678977317]

I Fucking love his puns man! GOD HE'S AWESOME!

[@alwinpriven2400]

those puns of Middle-Eastern foods at the end though, I clapped even though I'm watch this next year, 5679.90 miles away

[@nicholasewertz8770]

That must be why Stephen shouts Jeb's first name. It's the only way to keep him awake while talking about Jeb Bush.

[@djsingh5031]

absolute genius on the jeb bush skit stephen colbert you rock

[@vivvasbill]

I love that part about Jeb bush he said everything lol 😂😂😂

[@stickfigure5251]

Yay, Oregon gets acknowledgement on TV!

[@Ralynva]

I love Stephen...LMBO when he fell asleep just mentioning Jeb Busch

[@ddha0000]

Carson once did brain surgery on me.....a mammoth 16 hour operation. It was meant to be 4 hours but he was asleep the rest of the time.

[@jazminmarquez3000]

That was great, Stephen!

[@philippbinder9026]

C'mon. You're A Pleasure To Know! cobweb wail

[@autmanmansour6996]

Amazing!... I truly rolled on the floor laughing until the moment he started to talk about Jeb Bush when I bkacked out laughing 😂😂😂

[@WoundedEgo]

Jeb? and Carson walk into a bar. Bartender asks... "What can I... zzzzzz"...

[@poison1088]

hahaha sure "Hillary" u mean BERNIE SANDERS!! #feelthebern

[@MegaChickpeas]

Stephen Colbert. A show of multi-dimensional benefits. Not only do you get an intelligent, humorous, complete take on a current issue, you also get Stephen snacking! This show is like a delicious snack!

[@nastassjaokkers6453]

Food jokes. I love it😂😂

[@kemchobhenchod]

The writing is on another level wow.

[@sambeawesome]

#FeelTheBern Colbert!

[@Ireland264]

I suggest she appears only at Martin O'Malley events. Colbert is a master of bringing his jokes full circle. :D Also bring high five guy out for those food puns, they deserve one!

[@ninaalorez2020]

What you say about California? Hold my bag 😡

[@Wenum32]

Stephen is the best !! lol

[@felixzardan7127]

OH MY OH MY THE PUNS!

[@SethHydra]

I understood those references and Puns...

[@thegooseman90]

Colbert is awesome

[@ostentatious793]

this is genius

[@OlgaMesh]

I love it!

[@XzTS-Roostro]

What I like to know is how Dr. Ben Carson became a neurosurgeon

[@vioninnamorata8164]

I don't like the possible outcome, but I'm calling it now. Hillary wins on account that she's the one candidate that Congress could easily manipulate.

[@TheFedoraKing]

On public polls through the internet, Bernie is actually ahead of Clinton consistently. I think its hard to gauge true statistics anymore, but all I ever hear about is how great Bernie is. And as far as I can tell through my own research hes actually not only doing better than all the other candidates but is far better than even Hilary Clinton. Hes going to win and we should begin to see that as fact. Hes the best choice there is right now.

[@thissentenceisfalse1]

Why would you think that online discussions and Internet polls are the best determinate of the election? If all you hear is about how great Sanders is, but every professional poll shows him losing, maybe listen to what another source besides the Internet has to say. You'd shut me up by showing me a poll of Sanders ahead in SC, OH or the nation, done scientifically since the last debate. I'd love to see it.

[@bejarny8636]

im from scotland. weve got a pettition to ban him from the uk. hes been sacked by us ambassandar for buissness or something from scotland

[@phxtonash]

What bout Bernie. Are u to rich to talk about him Stephan

[@nolanchoy5569]

+phxtonash no you bitch. this is a show where he makes fun of everyone. you want him to make fun of bernie? please i hope he does. this isnt the news. its political satire. its not a presidential endorsement show. so shut the fuck up you sanders supporters.

[@nolanchoy5569]

Lord of the Nerds and are economically impossible. you act like everyone supports him and loves him. i used to be a bernie sanders supporter. but then i looked closer at his policies and i realized nothing is free. maybe youre willing to pay high taxes for other people. maybe thats your thing. its not mine.

[@nolanchoy5569]

Lord of the Nerds sure hes not corrupt. but his ideas dont make sense. i mean they sound appealing but thats the only depth and intelligence to them. he tells you what you want to hear but no the consequences of his ideas.

[@nolanchoy5569]

Lord of the Nerds and i wonder why denmark has a -.5%gdp growth

[@nolanchoy5569]

Lord of the Nerds and Finland has a -1.2% annual gdp change

[@factsabouturmum9250]

2:10 Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on.

[@EnsoEntanglements]

You know, we could be talking about Bernie Sanders. But, I guess he is just too sane and practical to be making good hummus jokes about.

[@Buenomars]

6:37 Jabba the Hutt...

[@ChristopherZimmerman]

@6:22 FINALLY!

[@recnemorcen]

0:35 and now we know how Trump does it....

[@roboto902]

Wish Colbert would have given Burnie Sanders some exposure.

[@dodopoopinpoop]

How about you talk about Bernie sometime?

[@nolanchoy5569]

+dodopoopinpoop no you bitch. this is a show where he makes fun of everyone. you want him to make fun of bernie? please i hope he does. this isnt the news. its political satire. its not a presidential endorsement show. so shut the fuck up you sanders supporters.

[@gattagoefass9874]

+Tom Howard You're posting on every single Bernie-related comment. You're not even trying to hide the fact that you're a shill.

[@Necroskull388]

+GattaGoeFass No, a shill is someone who endorses something unconditionally (Like Bernie Sanders and his supporters). He's just an asshole. An asshole with a very good point.

[@GoddoDoggo]

+dodopoopinpoop He talks about Bernie a lot, he doesn't have to talk about him every single segment.

[@vegab2543]

Those dinosaurs at the DNC are just adorable. It is so obvious that they are trying to protect Hillary, thinking television is still relevant! I'm a college student millennial, half of my friends do't even own TV's and those who do have it hooked up to their Xbox (I'm the only one with cable for HBO). We get together to watch the debates on youtube at our own convenience, without commercials. If anything, CNN is shooting themselves in the foot because they sure can use the ratings. We are all voting for Bernie, btw.

[@hugolalumiere9992]

How the hell did Carson ever become a neuro-surgeon?!? He looks half-asleep all the time and the idiotic things he says...

[@ahmarsaeed6085]

Feel the Bern! 2016.

[@TheLwcollins]

orange pony? I believe you mean "Applejack."

[@Kotfluegel]

The problem with more democratic debates is not that Hillary might fuck up and lose her support. The problem is, that people might actually hear what Bernie has to say.

[@aquamus]

Anybody else notice that the poll for the democratic primaries stephen pulls up does not add to 100? 58% +30% +2% = ... 90%

[@closetpan]

+aquamus The CNN, ORC Glade Plug in Poll. What a name it has also.

[@larrywhite4022]

Now Graham sucks up to trump, who refers to himself in the third person. Weird, ain't it ?

[@dann2678]

don't you mean " JEB ! " ? XD

[@Michaelartzer]

WHERE WAS THE UNDER THE DESK HIGH FIVE?!?

[@HoanTraker11]

Oh, how I wish the media coverage that Trump gets would shift to Bernie Sanders, even for just a day.

[@roguecodes]

Star Wars comes out on the 18th. Coincidence? I think not.

[@stevene6181]

Thumps up for D. Trump for Prez

[@TinyFoxTom]

Won't somebody stop this man and his awful puns? We need a gyro!

[@kseniav586]

Ok am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about which candidate he's talking about as long as the puns are great?

[@hiddenmantis]

The funniest thing about this bit was watching Stephen do everything possible to keep from talking about Bernie.

[@wilberforce95]

I want to see a montage of Colbert eating random food on his show

[@jariemonah]

+the wforce That sounds like a good idea.

[@GoldStorm07]

Stephen doesn't talk about Bernie because, being a pundit, he's annoyed that Bernie is not funny. There is NOTHING for a comedian to talk about with the guy. So for those of you who are wondering why he's rarely mentioned on the show, there ya go.

[@MagnumDB]

The debate schedule is the product of Debbie Wasserman Shultz. You can contact her on Twitter at @DWStweets

[@vikranttambe1]

If Stephen keeps focusing on the things that matter more on a daily basis, like economy, politics etc., I can't see why he won't be firmly on top. I know it is covered but then the emphasis is lesser than what I normally love. I wish there's was a more news-esque quality to this show than comedy. There are very few sources I truly trust anyways!

[@powerpc127]

5:18 Did he say "Anne Frankly?" Or did he just accidentally outdo all of the puns that followed by talking with food in his mouth?

[@connordriscoll3992]

Why does he gotta take cheap shots at my man Jeb );

[@xs10086]

He actually did it.

[@dylanray7431]

The Democratic Party needs to get DWS out of there and bring in progressives who truly want to make a difference- not collect a paycheck and feed their own egos.

[@VirtualVictory]

Bernie or bust. I'll vote Trump in the presidential out of spite if he doesn't get the nominee.

[@JibberFisch]

Stephen is my gyro.

[@matthewbarber6946]

If someone made fun of how Obama pronounced a word as a black man they would be called a racist, but making fun of a brilliant black conservative is alright. Wow.

[@K20a3RSX]

Not everyone has to like Bernie Sanders. Personally I feel that he is one of the best options of all the candidates, but some of his views (foreign policy for example) do not align with the views of most Americans. Blaming Colbert for "selling out" or succumbing so corporate motivations is pretty insulting to his right to choose his own political opinion and maintain a neutral position as a public figure.

[@whyologist]

Did Ben Carson crib one of my 5th grade geography papers?

[@sottotitolifattibene]

He fucking puts down the fucking compass! You can't top that.

[@1173536]

I think we can all agree that Pink Floyd is awesome.

[@CorollaNut68]

I've been waiting here for 3 days now...I don't think he's coming back.

[@closetpan]

If you just want to talk mentions of names, Martin O'Malley. Is covered more in this skit. As he sits there talks about the CNN, ORC Glade Plug in Poll. O.o What a name that has, still he even mentions Ben Carson and ends with talking about Jeb Bush. Who I guess makes you fall asleep cause he implies no other candidate to think about. Bernie 2016!!! I'm biased but you can count mentions. Bernie Blackout

[@saa-gc1mf]

mmm now Im hungry

[@VinnieMTG2024]

humus is so good!

[@matthewbeechr]

Oh yeah-that's a great idea-let's make Hilary speak to smaller crowds so she doesn't feel pressured to try. (And continue to air corporate polls that she bought out to publicize). I know the format and general morale of a political campaign has always been dicy, but at this point I can't even comprehend what the fuck is happening

[@Muadexperience]

Hamas lol

[@wholeone1332]

I am sure can find other sources of protein than wolf meat. I am so clever, that I will rather vary a bit. No that I need, but just for the sake of "variation".

[@goldenpoet820]

Is it me, or did he go out of his way to not talk about Bernie's momentum or the fact that he's winning new hampshire? He talked about not knowing what to talk about, but still didn't talk about Bernie.

[@robertfernandez3115]

Good comment. I agree, Bernie cares about the people he represents. Fuck clinton

[@arielhoring4596]

+Becky R seriously? Bernie who is basically Santa Clause and wants to give everything away for free is a comedy gold mine.

[@arielhoring4596]

+Becky R Also the same Bernie who said climate change is our biggest threat to national security...lol.

[@Unz360]

Fuck it, Let's just give Obama another 4. Unless Colbert starts a campaign!