a tiny peek at Christmas economics

People who do not celebrate christmas but have other gift-intense holidays: is it bad for you too?
Link to The Deadweight Loss of Christmas: www.amherst.ed...
Original Planet Money podcast with Prof. Waldfogel: www.npr.org/se...
Link to Planet Money candy bar episode: www.npr.org/se...
Link to 'In defense of gift giving' or we could change the title to "Waldfogel was right about gift giving": www.npr.org/20...
Finally, my patreon : / acollierastro where you get a new video each month and maybe some Kohl's cash. (Kohl's cash is a joke right? It doesn't actually exist? It gives me company store vibes. Can't be real.)

[@SlyEcho]

When I bring this up with my wife she calls me a Grinch 😂

[@acollierastro]

But the point of the movie is that Christmas is not about presents! That’s the moral the grinch learns! That’s the whole point!

[@BenReillySpydr1962]

​@@acollierastroYeah but did his heart increase in mass or volume? That's the real question! ☃️

[@nathanlee2942]

@@acollierastro okay Grinch...

[@WilliamBeason]

⁠@@BenReillySpydr1962Both. Sadly the event left the Grinch with severe megacardia.

[@75hilmar]

I bet the reason of the 'Grinch' is to teach children about the 'cringe' of a ruined christmas.

[@NotJustBikes]

I'm going to send this video to everyone who gives me bicycle-themed junk for Christmas.

[@andregatorano6294]

you need to send everyone a simple letter saying "Not Just Bikes"

[@vyvianalcott1681]

Well then you should've called your channel "I hate bikes"

[@ed1726]

@@andregatorano6294 lol

[@brettgoldsmith9971]

Cool to see NJB here!

[@ordan787]

Babe wake up, Not Just Bikes watches acollierastro!

[@Xbiggie216X]

You are so spot on about the 'being the _____ guy' trope. Mine wasnt star wars, but socks. One time I was one of the groomsmen for a friend of mines wedding. The gift he gave the groomsmen were the cool mint green/blue argyle socks that went with the full ensemble, so I'd wear them from time to time since the socks meant a lot to me and reminded me of my friend. That somehow translated into be being a "socks guy" and now I get argyle and rick and morty socks every year....

[@justforplaylists]

The commenter above you only wants socks, maybe you can trade.

[@randomnpc7773]

@@justforplaylists PFFFT. I read this and when I tell you I *wheezed*

[@tjeales]

“Isn’t it cute how silly little humans behave” is literally my entire discipline of Anthropology summed up.

[@georgelionon9050]

But the cool thing is to discover all the other different possible sillinesses. About gifting the gift-economy: I forgot the name of some island tribes.. they would not directly trade with each other, too dangerous, too much chance one party overpowering the other, they would leave "gifts" on the beach.. the other would take it, and leave stuff they would consider comparable.. and that would go on forever. (as in until European colonists drove them out)

[@ozymandiasultor9480]

Some anthropology, to summarise its subject as "silly little humans". I was learning a different kind of anthropology at the university, as one of the subjects when I studied philosophy and logic.

[@mimszanadunstedt441]

Its not cute, its like something stabbing itself in the foot with a fork repeatedly, even if you take the fork away it finds another.

[@drmodestoesq]

Shall we their fond pageant see? Lord, what fools these mortals be! A Midsummer Night's Dream Act 3, scene 2, 110-115

[@jessewoellhof6843]

Anthropologie amirite

[@G5rry]

The gift on the podcast of their own book was clearly the best one. She might not have said it, but I’m sure she went home thinking about how great the exposure for her book was on that episode. Plus, she earned $0.10 on royalties for that purchase.

[@blakethomson7901]

I think another reason why Christmas gifts are bad is that we ask people for their Christmas Lists. I mean, you even did it when you asked what would make us jump for joy. But what really makes you jump for joy is the surprise of getting the perfect gift that you never even considered. And when we spend more time making christmas lists, we end up spending more time trying to figure out what we want than the people who get us the gift spend, which leads to a loss in happiness.

[@forksandknivesssssss]

its interesting how diverse gift giving is as a cultural thing. it‘s never even occurred to me that people might make Christmas lists.

[@CrazyFikus]

As a "generic man" the only gift I want for Christmas, New Years, birthday, whatever gift giving occasion... is socks. Seriously, just buy me socks. I don't want mall ninja crap, tacti-cool beard trimmers, scented anything, I just want goddamn socks. I don't care what they look like, they can have floral patterns, squares, triangles, tartan, they can be with cats, dogs, capybaras, blue, green, black, gray, I don't care, buy me socks. I don't care what thickness they are, if they're thick winter ones I'll put them on immediately, if they're light summer ones, I can wait till summer. Just buy me socks.

[@michaelh42]

Wool socks also for men in the north. I am literally wearing the pair I got last year because I asked for one. Great gift! She got to knit them, I get to wear them, the equilibrium has been maintained.

[@steffenbendel6031]

But if it is from an attractive woman (your wife if you are married), a blow job in Christmas outfit, Easter bunny costume, ... would be fine too?

[@garanceadrosehn9691]

When I was about 12 I decided that I'd make it easy for my aunts and uncles, and when they asked me what to get I'd say socks. To *one* uncle, I said that I'd like to get the kind of white cotton socks which work well for gym classes. I ended up getting *31* pairs of white socks, and two pairs of dress socks which had color to them. 🙂

[@faustovieira]

I would just add that merino wool socks are one of the most comfortable things in the world.

[@the_hanged_clown]

I need t-shirts and undershirts too. don't bother with that wallyworld shite, I need quality cloth which will last me until next giftmas!

[@emilie4058]

I find all sorts of gift-giving in general to be stressful. When I was a kid, it was good, and it was able to introduce me to new things-I was a kid! Most things were new to me. Civilization IV was, in terms of the amount of enjoyment I got, one of the best gifts ever. Now, though, I doubt anything could come close to that, because... I already know what I like. And now I also need to reciprocate, which is incredibly stressful.

[@the_hanged_clown]

nah, you don't need that stress, friend. you cannot control how others percieve you, so defenestrate those thoughts!

[@adfaklsdjf]

in my late teens i started telling people i wanted nothing. in my 20s i told people "if you really want to get me what i want for christmas, you'll get me nothing" and people really did stop giving me stuff. i have a rule that i don't get other people gifts for special calendar days. if there's a great gift for them at christmas time, i'll buy it and hold onto it until after christmas is over and there's no gift-giving calendar day. if you get them a gift when there's no expectation for you to, then it's more real.

[@timgehrsitz3267]

This is why I love my secret santa exchange with my friends, where all of the gifts are so intimately picked out for comedy value that you're basically paying $20 to make them laugh hysterically rather than picking something generic from a list based on a small thing they like. For example, one year I got "The Monolith", an 8 foot tall construction of lumber and aluminum foil that was the most unwieldy abomination, but we were all crying laughing for 10 minutes as it was presented to me.

[@haysdixon6227]

your friend group sounds awesome :) mine tries to do something like that, but haven’t gotten near as good as “the monolith”

[@anniee5487]

Sorry if this is a downer, but if youre all essentially getting each other gag gifts what do you do after you're done laugh and go home? Do you still keep it and have it take up space in your home the rest of the year?

[@timgehrsitz3267]

@@anniee5487 depends on the gift. The airtag, football player prayer candle, sleep aid, and funny T-Shirts can get lots of use past just the day itself. But for those items that are a one-off laugh, I think of it like paying $20 for drinks for a night out with friends or a putt-putt place or whatever else. Those are also just one-off things you spend money on then go home after with nothing to show for, but the experience and laughter with friends is worth it. And yeah some of them take up space, but when you stumble upon them with the rest of the junk that's a lot less funny, you get residual laughs, especially when those friends are around.

[@brandonthesteele]

​@anniee5487 gag gifts, like almost all ephemera, are unceremoniously disposed of when their usefulness has been exhausted. If it sends someone into a laughing fit like that, I'd argue that it's pretty useful and justifies its own existence. The same cannot be reliably said about some random plastic thing from Spencer's.

[@someoneoutthere7512]

Not only a waste of money, the cost of producing these unwanted items only for them to wind up in a landfill.

[@tobiasstewart5632]

Every year my step-mom buys me 3-5 shirts with slogans on them, “but first, coffee” kind of stuff. I know she gets them cheap as dirt in Amazon and they’re usually very ugly and fall apart quickly. Like gee thanks for the slave-made garbage

[@cencent2189]

This is why if you're close with family, asking is usually a better idea! That way you also get to know who they are more and bond together ❤️ or cash if u don't want that 🤣

[@vanders626]

That's one and the same issue

[@PsRohrbaugh]

Perspective is important. As a child, I was fortunate enough to interview my great grandmother who was born in 1912. I still have the recording. She was one of 9 children, and they lived in a 2 room (not two bedroom) apartment. Her oldest siblings had to drop out of school in 8th grade to get jobs. Anyway. She talked about how spoiled everyone is today (using the word "spendthrift" as an insult). She said she remembered her favorite Christmas present. An orange. I guess my point is that to someone who is poor, socks can be an amazing Christmas present. I saw a video where most homeless shelters say their number one need in winter is quality socks.

[@dawert2667]

As a poor college student that lives in upstate New York I am praying for nice socks this year lmao

[@PsRohrbaugh]

@@dawert2667 have a Amazon wishlist or something?

[@paulcaron-wm4tk]

Angela, you are so right! In fact I have been refusing to participate in Christmas for about thirty years now, for the very reasons you’re talking about. I really love the reactions that I get when I say to people “oh, I don’t do Christmas.”

[@dasquick]

I have a master's in economics and know we disagree on a lot of economics. This was very well done and thought out. I want to quibble mildly with your equation. You put time and effort of the gift giver as value to add to the gift, those are actually costs that are added to the gift which make them more expensive not more valuable. What you are missing is the value the gift giver gets in the act of researching and presenting a good gift. There is non-intrinsic value both for the gift giver and receiver and for their relationship which generally is worth more than the time effort and physical value of the gift itself. Also, you're right, I only get gifts for my kids and significant others and make all of my family just give me money so I can get gifts for my kids and put their names on them because I'm a dirty economist who doesn't trust them to not buy a bunch of junk to fill my house with. Great job!

[@liamwhalen]

So the extra expense, if added correctly to the cost of the gift, increases its value? But, if the extra expense is wasted on a horrible gift, then the value is decreased maybe even to the point of a deficit?

[@GSBarlev]

Like any good (econo)physicist, she used some shorthand and threw out negligible terms. The inequality is properly: v_percieved > v_actual With all terms existing on both sides and the fundamental issue being that the age of internet has effectively zeroed out the terms on the LHS-how many times have you received a garbage gift and thought, "Come on, dad, how hard would it have been to pull up my Pinterest board and then order something from Amazon?" Yet the _RHS_ terms-the actual mental effort of acquiring the gifts, hasn't _actually_ gone down because of how much more difficult it is to find items that are truly novel to the recipient.

[@dasquick]

@@liamwhalen The search costs of buying a gift are always costs, Even when you are buying it for yourself. So the internet in that way, by reducing search costs has created a ton of value. But that is only looking at the cost side of the ledger, some people really like shopping, many people like shopping for gifts even more, especially if you feel you gave a good gift this creates even more value for the giver which is often ignored, as is the value of the relationship that is built and maintained through the giving of gifts.

[@liamwhalen]

@@GSBarlev Is this a supply and demand aspect of the value? The demand for novel gifts increases with the associated amount of supply? Can they be considered independent of each other? The cost of the demand increases due to the scarcity of determining a truly unique gift? Whereas the supply may or may not increase the cost depending on the individual nature of the demand? For example, figuring out that someone really loves fig newtons but will not tell anyone about it due to social shaming and quietly gifting them some has a high demand novelty cost but a low supply cost.

[@dasquick]

@@liamwhalen In this case it is not really a supply-and-demand thing, which is weird because it's basically always a supply-and-demand thing. For supply and demand, you are trying to find an equilibrium price and quantity. Gift-giving is basically between two individuals and the receiver by definition has no say. What it is more, is, the giver deciding what amount of Time+Effort+Money will create the most satisfaction for the giver. In that calculation the giver will attempt to value the relationship which is enhanced by the gift and attempt to gauge the reaction of the receiver, note the giver does not have to be right, the receiver may hate the gift but if the giver perceives that they liked it then they will gain a benefit from that. But all of this happens after the fact, the gift giver is making a calculation in their head beforehand of how awesome this particular gift is going to be and only finds out what the utility is after the fact.

[@dustinicer2138]

A video specifically for me, what a lovely christmas gift :) I thought I hated gifts for a long time, but I've learned that giving on my own terms when I can actually afford to put thought into it massively changes the playing field for me, and I've been able to give some damn good gifts in the last year or two. My current favorite is a bottle of authentic balsamic vinegar that I got for my dad, which is not something anyone else would have gotten for him, including himself.

[@ethanielhalling9426]

Loved what you said bout federal financial assistance programs. Its so crazy that they’re inefficient because of some fucked up concept of “deserving” it or not??? The economics of “deserving” is real and lowkey insane lmao 😭😭

[@GSBarlev]

I'm not an expert, but does the government actually pay $1 for $1 in SNAP? It's possible to get a lot of store gift cards on sale because *breakage* is factored into their value. I would have assumed (hoped?) that governments only pay for the SNAP dollars that are actually spent.

[@petevenuti7355]

With Medicaid medicare and such, I get an OTC card benefit , but I've noticed over time they won't approve the cheapest most cost effective generic brands, only the most expensive name brands , (like $16 for 4 bandaid brand hydrocolloid bandages vs $12 for 8 generic). They also have their "own" brand catalog. I think it's engineered that way, they pay little over cost but only approve the most expensive items so your insurance benefits run out faster costing them less. Acting like kickbacks but legal.. That's my conspiracy theory of the day.

[@GSBarlev]

@@petevenuti7355 Yeah, it's pretty insidious. I can't remember if it was John Oliver, Hasan Minhaj or Rebecca Watson who did a breakdown on "we only cover the brand name" medication-IIRC it's a deal between the pharmaceutical companies and the insurance providers.

[@tadpole9264]

a government could also set up factories to produce the drugs themselves as all profits a company selling drugs to the government makes is profit that if the factory were run by the government would just end up back in the budget but yeah because of pharmaceutical company lobbying, the free market doctrine of this era and a host of other reasons its normally just outsourced to whatever company lobbies the most. pharma is one of the more explicit sectors in terms of corporate-government corruption

[@WhoIsTheEdman]

Look up the paper "Cash vs. Food? How Does Food Stamp Eligibility Affect Food Stamp Enrollment and Food and Health Outcomes of SSI Recipients?". It's available for free. The study found that when states would offer a cash benefit for food and people would take that in lieu of SNAP, food insecurity and negative health outcomes associated with lacking food increased. It is not unreasonable to assume that people who have trouble living independently without assistance can also have a tendency to have trouble self-regulating their assistance. That can be true without any moral judgement, blame, or moralizing about the recipient of aid.

[@rogerbabin8175]

For whatever reason when me and my brother grew up a bit...I'll say 15 but I can't remember exactly when...our family collectively agreed that we hate gift giving and stopped doing it. Since then life has been slightly better. We all have more money because of the whole gifts thing you mention in this video. We get together for Christmas, birthdays and the like typically to hang out, play cards, go for a walk, chat about stuff, maybe order a pizza or something and then go back to life as normal. Its great. Things remained great for a long time. Then my older brother got married and had kids....

[@imthestein]

The internet didn't ruin gift giving to me, it was ruined for me long before the internet. Family and the social mandatory need to make you get everyone a gift regardless whether you can afford it or have the time for it instead of getting someone a gift because I genuinely think they'll like a thing is why gift giving was ruined for me

[@loras507]

i dont know, i've been able to get that jump-for-joy type feeling and reaction as an adult giving gifts to other adults. i mean, they dont usually literally jump, but the feeling is the same. the important thing here is the gifts are usually not just objects. things like personally annotated books we can discuss, hand-painted keychains each of us has, watercolor paintings of pictures we took, a homemade meal inspired by a series we both like, etc. with the exception of the annotated books, all of them take a few hours max. im not saying nothing in this is right, just that that gift giving feeling is very much possible is as an adult without much free time

[@alaraplatt8104]

well yea, it is a little ridiculous that everyone is acting like it isnt a fun and nice tradition to do a gift exchange every year. a gift can be bought, made, found, even regifted... there isnt much reason to cry foul over wasted money when the people who are spending stupid amounts of money on hit or miss gifts are probably the type of people who can afford to spend stupid amounts of money on random things and generally do it anyway. it isnt hard for a regular sensible person to give a gift at a reasonable cost

[@somedudeok1451]

Concerning your tangent about how foodstamps and other non-fungible forms of aid should be replaced with money: No. If the government just gives all aid to poor people in the form of raw money, the landlords and grocery stores and so on will immediately go: _"Oh yeah, gimme a slice of that free pie!"_ And temporarily or permanently jack up the prices they charge, so they can get a disproportional amount of the aid that was meant for the poor. That's one of the reasons why UBI is kinda bad too.

[@TanyaLairdCivil]

This is why I just make my gifts every year, durable hand-made things. This year I'm making stone mortar and pestle sets. Carved from literal rocks I pull from the river.

[@buggalo]

that is awesome and I am jealous of the people who receive gifts from you

[@saintsalieri]

That seems the sort of thing most people wouldn't want, and therefore most susceptible to the idea presented in this video.

[@user6122]

im gonna be honest with you chief, the only people who are ever going to use a pestle already own a pestle

[@Desimere]

i also lean towards handmade gifts, but they can indeed be very tricky. Some people just don't appreciate the effort that goes into them. Even in this video, she was talking about how these handmade sweaters used to be found in thrift shops. I have made a couple of sweaters and i would value them at least 1000€. Even the yarn itself is more than 100€, while my time is invaluable to me. And some people do indeed just throw this stuff away. I think gifting a mortar and pestle is quite tricky as well, even for someone who might use them. I'm living in a small apartment and i don't have enough cabinet cabinet space even for a frying pan. I literally have to use a chair to get to my pan because i couldn't find an accessible storage location for it. Mortar and pestle often go near the bottom of the priority list for kitchen utensils, so i hope you'll make sure to give it only to people who have a lot of space in their kitchens or to people who really love and value handmade things.

[@TheJohnreeves]

@@Desimere Maybe consider that Tanya isn't giving the mortar and pestle to you, so your apartment size doesn't matter, and that they probably know the person they're giving them to.

[@Magmafrost13]

My entire extended family has pretty much given up on buying gifts for each other haha, even within my immediate family its just like "yeah I'll bake a nice cake or get some expensive meat for dinner or something" because none of us need more OBJECTs

[@dogshake]

The secret to gift giving is buying those $15 galaxy lamps at Walmart. Every time there is a secret santa thing going on, people end up fighting over the damn lamp.

[@TheBBQify]

We do a white elephant every year... thank you for the suggestion I will be buying a $15 galaxy lamp now

[@idontwantahandlethough]

oh shit man, that's some genuinely good advice!

[@SumNutOnU2b]

Last time I worked at a place that had a Pollyanna, everybody fought over the gifts that were alcohol

[@a_speeder1728]

As someone with an economics degree, I find the idea that gifts should just be cash or cash-equivalents bizarre. You can account for exactly how much you give to others and how much you get back, being able to quantifiably balance gifts like a checking account leads you to think about whether you net gained or lost wealth. If I give someone 100 dollars, and they give me 100 dollars, nothing happened; and if we give each other different amounts then it can lead to embarrassment because the monetary discrepancy can be used as an easy method to measure and judge the feelings of others.

[@homicidal_duck]

Another banger this video is so good. I really do love the physics videos but I'm a data scientist by trade and really about 70% of it realistically flies over my head so these videos where you introduce us all to like the base level of something else you're interested in is always so entertaining. One of my favourite channels on youtube!!

[@potatopotatow]

My complaint in calling Economics a “hard science” is that it treats people as if they are just variables in an equation, or beings whose behavior is perfectly rational and predictable. Reducing human behavior down to complex math equations doesn’t make sense. Like, foundational ideas like “barter economies” have been proven to be myths, and yet they still serve as the rationale for modern economic theory.

[@lued123]

I think she meant *difficult* science in that context.

[@ajax_watches]

Hard science in the sense it can be conducted experimentally and is hypothesis/data driven. This as opposed to something like philosophy.

[@orca042]

Economics is a social science, and therefore a soft science.

[@iansalinas412]

ya but the weird thing is that on very large scales humans basically do act like pure variables. like once you're looking at how a country full of people act when a new thing comes out of the news says a thing you can super accurately predict a ton of things and most of the time it's right. that's not to say economic theories are totally fool proof but the extent to which humans can be modeled by an equation is unexpectedly high

[@Ceighk]

​​​​@@iansalinas412 Until something changes, which economics rarely predicts. Economics has a consistent problem of basing its analyses in the specific reality of the present and the relatively recent past, because they are what can be quantified, but the conditions underpinning that dataset are socially and historically constituted, and therefore beyond the bounds of 'hard science'. It then uses that faulty grounding to make bad extrapolations towards a universal that doesn't exist, because social circumstances change over time (sometimes very quickly). Contemporary economics can make reasonable predictions about a bunch of things for the relatively near future, and if it was perfected it could probably make better predictions about a bunch more, but eventually those non-scientific factors will change to the point where current theories, however comprehensive, will be next to useless. For that reason it is by no means a hard science. Protons cannot get together and decide to ignore gravity, but people could get together and decide to ignore property. One is a fundamental law of nature, the other is a social construct.

[@Fidtz]

We have evolved/devolved/sidevolved into the wishlist-asking situation in my family and friend groups. I break the synonym and call these "presents" , as in you "present" someone with something they want. Gifts are only when you actually think of something special (i.e. not at Christmas).

[@starup4960]

I feel so seen. Anyway, I don't know if it's a "my family thing" or whatever, but at least in experience cash gifts aren't really that big a taboo, at least to the point where they're chosen over gift cards. The issue then becomes that I'd feel incredibly silly receiving a crisp 100$ bill from my aunt, only to 5 minutes later hand her a different 100$ bill...

[@PsRohrbaugh]

I'm not sure if I agree with your ending (pre credits). During your introduction you described a gift as something given freely where you don't care what they do with it. Considering this, I think it's perfectly acceptable to give people "exploratory" gifts. For example, I had never played competitive card games before. My best friend is REALLY into Magic: The Gathering. He says "I know you're not going to spend the time and money to get into something so complicated you're not sure you'll like, so I went ahead and put together a deck that I think will be simple and fun for a beginner". And he was right. I didn't keep up with it as a hobby, but I did have a lot of fun gaming with him and a few other friends. And I learned a new hobby. Sometimes a gift can be a good way to expose someone to something you'll think they'll like but wouldn't get out of their comfort zone and do. As long as it's given freely, IE with the understanding they might not like it / use it / sell it.

[@johngage5391]

I turned 60 today. I love cast iron griddles and skillets. Especially 50-80 years old Griswald and Wagners from Ebay. A few days ago Dad gave me a modern Lodge 10.5" round griddle he doesn't use anymore. I had given it to my parents 15 years ago to make pizza on. Even though I have a few spares of this exact griddle in my basement, I'm thrilled to be this one's new owner. I think old men and cast iron cookware is an exception to your rule. It was not a good example to prove your otherwise 100% correct take on Christmas gifting.

[@ThisSteveGuy]

I love how much our entire retail market system hinges on making people feel obliged to give gifts during the holidays.

[@TerraSapien]

the greatest gift I ever got for anyone, with the greatest reaction, was literally nothing and cost $0..it was just quite literally gift wrapped NOTHING. It was for a white elephant at a large family gathering with lots of kids. I gift wrapped a box. An empty box. So basically zero dollars. The thing that made it a “gift” was the contrivance around that gift, and to be honest it could have failed SPECTACULARLY, I was very nervous an eager little child was going to open my gift and cry bc it was empty. But what I did was make a jagged little hole in the backside of the box, some air holes on top, and then just BEHAVE as I brought the gift to the pile in a pretend-surreptitious manner, asking the adults questions in front of the kids like “I need to put this somewhere where it won’t get knocked over” “how long until we open gifts, he’s probably freaking out in there.” whispered. Basically I had everyone convinced (to my delight, even the adults!) that I had brought some little weird critter. And so the gift was just building up a little hype and then whaddya know, it’s one of the first ones a kid selects and THEN, I just had to look around with alarm when they opened it and it was empty, “Wait, where did he go, did he jump out when you opened it??” and then we discover the little hole that it had chewed out and before you know it the kids are all squealing and running around the house with me to find the little critter (and the dumb parents are literally thinking I’ve let something loose which is pretty kinda fun), and so the gift is almost like a magic trick - a delightful “event” that engages the maximum number of people. Again, could have gone so badly. And at some point I had to come clean and I was worried about the backlash there, but then I just pretended like all together the kids and I were tricking the parents, and then THAT became the game, them pretending they spotted it scurrying by! 😅

[@FosukeLordOfError]

The main take away from this video is less we are bad at gift giving and we are bad at receiving gifts and need to jump up and down with excitement when we open something.

[@silentbob784392]

Thank you for the video. I love giving and receiving gifts, but have basically checked out of Xmas because it is has sucked the spontaneous joy out of all of it.

[@kdjshfksjh]

This video was the only gift I needed. Thank you. 😊

[@julialw02]

I almost exclusively buy gifts that people have specifically asked for. My boyfriend was with me in the store when I bought him his tripod for Christmas, and I sent it home with him immediately so he could replace his broken one. I also try to give people very specific instructions when I say what I want as a gift, so we still get the social benefits of exchanging gifts but they don't waste money buying me something I'll never use. I don't care about the "OMG I never would have thought of this! This is perfect!" aspect of gift giving. I don't care if it's a total surprise. And I might forget what I asked people for anyway, so it works out. For me, the value of the gift comes in the form of someone thinking of me, researching different brands and products for me to get something that meets my specifications, and spending their money and time to get it. I don't think telling people what I want or knowing what I'm getting makes it "not a gift" anymore. It can also be a roundabout way to give myself permission to have something nice. If someone gave me $100, I'd put it in savings, not buy those heels I've been eyeing. But if someone gives me the heels, I won't feel guilty about having spent that money instead of saving it because it wasn't my choice.

[@Cvisscher]

Another reason, IMO, why Christmas gifts always kinda suck, is that alot of the sentimental value gets sucked out of the gift just by the obligatory nature of a Christmas present. At any other time of year, there's the quiet little fact that the gift *occurred* to them pulling at your heart strings. Like, maybe they saw it and it reminded them of you, in the same way it's fun to get tagged in a meme even if you've seen it a hundred times already. During the holidays (and birthdays), that's not really there. They got you that thing at least partly out of social obligation, and it takes some of the wind out of it.

[@sluggdiddyyddidgguls]

I do the same thing with everyone that my parents did with me as a kid.. I ask them exactly what they want, I get them that and I also attempt them to give them either something that compliments that gift that they weren't expecting.. and sometimes I try to find something else that is more of a long shot, something they wouldn't have thought to buy themselves.

[@1967sluggy]

Would like to second the stuff about buying for guys. My dad is blind to the point of not being able to read paper books, bedbound, and doesn't drink. So I can't buy him paper books, I can't buy him alcohol, and even stuff like clothing is out. Basically impossible to buy for him, especially since I showed him how to pirate books a few years ago (was worth saving him the effort over cutting off the option of buying ebooks).

[@miglek9613]

Wait, do people in other countries not ask their friends and family what they want gifted???? Like, of course you're getting bad gifts if people gift stuff without asking what you want, that's absolutely insane as an idea

[@sawchuk519]

When people ask me what I want for christmas, I almost always end up saying I don't know. If I want/need something enough for it to be worth money to me I already bought it.

[@lunasophia9002]

That's how it works a lot of the time, yes. They're supposed to be a surprise. Which, y'know, explains why there are so many unwanted gifts.

[@warpigs330]

Yeah, around here (Georgia, USA), A Christmas gift can be seen as a challenge of how well you know someone. You should be so intuitive and considerate that you can read your friend's and family's minds, buying them the perfect gift that not even they know that they want, but it is so perfect. It's ridiculous.

[@how9670]

At least in my family everyone asks what people want and i live in texas, so i think its more of a person to person thing than being country specific.

[@Sam_on_YouTube]

My sister in law always had an Amazon wish list. And no money of her own. She very much enjoyed other people buying her things.

[@bobiboulon]

I think that's a cultural and socio-economical thing. For instance, in my familly, we gift close adult relatives (brothers / sisters, in laws, parents) with often a pretty clear idea of what they'd like to have, and for the kids, well if they are yours, you know what they wish for, and for the nieces and nephews, their parents secretly share wishlists, so you are sure to get them something they'll enjoy. I admit that among adults, gifts are not always surprising, but at least they bring joy. It will be a thing they wanted but couldn't afford, or something they were hoping to get, or something they planed to buy at some point but there were always more important things to spend money on, so they pushed back the moment to buy this less important but more enjoyable thing, etc. And sometimes, you find by chance a thing, like a book for instance, that you're sure your relative would absolutly love but don't know about, and you can completly surprise them. I think, the most imortant thing is not the surprise, the but the joy. Joy can come indeed from a happy surprise, but it can also come from a good anticipation (When the person was almost sure you were going to get them something specific that they really want, and happily find out that "yesss!" you got it for them). And, on a side note, concerning food stamps, I'm 100% with you on this. As far as I know, this system does not exist in my country, we instead have money (financial aids) given to people depending on various parameters. And if there's undeniable room for improvement, at least the governement don't tell them how to spend this money.

[@bobiboulon]

And by the end of the video I'm more sure than ever that the problem you point is completly social-economical dependant. The fact that "if you want something, you can just by it from internet" or the whole thing about exchanging presents with people you barely know... yeah, excuse my crude words but all this just sounds like a rich people problem.

[@eewls]

convincing a parent not to give me trash (clothing) was one of my biggest achievements of the past decade it usually goes like this: trash -> money instead of trash -> nothing at all

[@mollistuff]

I have a bunch of regular stuff like dinner plates, scented candles, plants etc. that make me think of the person that gave them each time I use them and I couldn't get that same effect if I just bought the stuff myself. Literally each time I water this plant I feel good because it feels like my friend is right there caring about this little green thing with me

[@jaredgudnason4400]

the best gift avoids the money completely. a gift of time and attention. Help someone build something, or do some house chores for them, or spend that specific time with them. Identify a project that they have been trying to get done and offer to do it, or help, or teach.

[@michaelkalin2209]

i love this channel because it reinforces the opinions i already have

[@jacobwikowsky3535]

Off the top of my head, gifts that would make me jump for joy: 0) MATLAB but it indexes at zero so I stop writing all my for loops incorrectly on my zeroth attempt 1) A beard trimming kit 2) Ranked choice voting 3) Hiring criteria that prioritizes knowledge of basic educational practices like the distinction between formative and summative assessment/active learning/the death of the transmission model of learning fueled by a survivorship bias feedback loop of the toxic structure academia chooses to propagate 4) The unconditional discontinuation of the Physics GRE 5) Reasonable pay for teachers 6) A beard trimming kit 7) The unquenchable sarcastic sass that would collapse the universe if Dr. Collier, my TA coworker from undergrad, and myself ever end up in a room together 8) A beard trimming kit

[@FosukeLordOfError]

So I’m not great at gifts and this year a friend wanted me to play a game so they spent money gifting it to me. I then just asked what do you want and they sent me an equivalently priced item. We could have just bought the things for ourselves but there was fun in the gifting.

[@jackswisher3171]

I prefer to give friends a new experience, something they would not think of on their own: like dinner at a nice joint, then tickets to see a play. Voila! Twelve happy friends, a happy restaurant staff, and happy performers. I spread a little joy around in my community. In my view, that is what Christmas is supposed to be all about.

[@PsRohrbaugh]

My grandfather is 89. Fig Newtons are his favorite desert. He hates the taste of sugar, and will actually patiently sit there and cut all the frosting off a piece of cake so he doesn't have to eat it.

[@villentretenmerth11]

I hate how the assignment of value poisons every aspect of life. Giving gifts is nice. Give gifts. Calling government support gifts is mad. I love giving personal gifts. Making a thing for a person, or inviting them out together. But even buying a ready made thing is nice. Give gifts, care for people around you. Eat the rich. Don’t overthink giving gifts

[@common-whimbrel]

completely agreed. ... In my personal experience, close ppl not giving gifts to each other can mean two things: Either, they're overwhelmed by it all - I do this with my siblings. Or no one has money to buy anything. It's ok, we could still celebrate and be with each other, but not giving gifts here was more like pretending we don't really need the sink that the landlord is not fixing, or not wanting to go out in winter that much bc feet keep getting wet and cold.

[@LLAAPPSSEE]

I don't do gifts and I don't like receiving gifts. Mostly, forced holiday-based gifting. I'll take the loss in society points. It all just feels like an infinite conumption capatalist hellscape. Worst gift received: A live animal. A finch. And while we're at it we should ban greeting cards. What a waste of resources.

[@balijosu]

But what about gift cards? Don't you like money with arbitrary strings attached? 😁

[@LLAAPPSSEE]

@@balijosu Big true.

[@RikardPeterson]

In my family, we stopped giving Christmas presents years ago. (Before that, we only gave to the kids for a few years.)

[@altrucker18]

15:09 I have a soap kit that I got in the 90s that I’ve kept for this short eon And I own a slef purchased Star Wars waffle iron that makes me super happy and I found it on sale. Gift guide writers all need to be rounded up and sent to Gillian’s island and they need to survive on only things they’ve put in the top five of the past 10 years.

[@jonnyglatt]

I just watched Susie Dent define “toecover” - from a memoir by Betty McDonald > Toecover is a family name for a useless gift. A crocheted napkin ring is a toecover. So are embroidered book marks, large figurines of a near-together-eyed shepherdess, pin-cushion covers done in French knots, a satin case for snapfasteners …

[@jbf81tb]

I've developed some coping mechanisms. 1) I make my wishlist too big to get everything. 1a) To get around the "why don't I just buy this for myself" problem, I put things on it that I already have access to a cheaper version, like physical media versions of things I could stream, or a something from a KZbinr's merch shop. 2) With my wife, we agree to try to focus on getting each other things that we both use.

[@theDCification]

Ok, point taken about Amazon lists and obligation, but my family got me such crappy gifts for so many years that using the list at least breaks neutral on the equation which is a huge step up.

[@gubx42]

There is one case where gift giving can be economically positive, that's when you know better than the recipient. You first need to know what they need (or they can tell you), and if you happen to know that domain well, make it a gift. For example let's say you know your thing with clothing, and you notice someone wears poor quality jeans. Buy some in the same style, but that you know will last, you can do that because you know where to look, the fabric, the stitching, etc... Or, if that's your thing, maybe a headset that you know is good value, your experience making you able to see though marketing. It is not easy, because you need to know what the recipient really needs and not project your own ideas, but done well, it is worth the effort. Also, self-made, custom gifts are great, again if you know what you are doing (ex: 3D prints).

[@bisin87]

a single piece of data. It took about 5 years of myself not giving gifts to my Adult family on Christmas, for them to stop getting ME gifts. This year, they made a pact to just get gifts for the only child in our family!

[@aceonlyone1800]

as someone who has lived in poverty for many years, i found that i still want gift very much, but since they are not useful things i can use, i'm often dissapointed with family and close ones we would just eat together and everyone would bring something for the dinner and that was the best honestly i'm a big fan of gifting/recieving useful things, however small they are

[@okidogi796]

This video made me feel so vindicated, grinches of the world unite! Your editing style makes me nostalgic, the excel scrolling of names at the end killed me 😭😭😭

[@annegrohs6181]

Gift Card factoids: Gift cards to sole businesses are no longer allowed to charge inactivity fees. The cards are ostensibly usable forever (though in reality software changes could make really old cards unusable). A gift card that's usable anywhere such as a Visa gift card (which is owned by a bank) is allowed to have inactivity fees, maintenance fees, and many other types of fees (even fees to call in and check the balance, which will charge you after you thought you got the right balance, meaning you'll call back and hear a slightly lower balance and be very confused as to what's going on). While in theory, Visa gift cards are great, in practice you're more likely to use all of the money on a gift card to buy things you want if the card is to a specific place. I always recommend cards to places you know your friends will be buying from.

[@chiaracoetzee]

Personally I think the best way to guarantee that gifts are meaningful is to always ask people before you give them a particular gift, at least if you are not 100% sure. Most of the time, the value of it being a surprise is just not worth the risk of getting something they don't want!

[@AdmiralBob]

I too do not care for surprises.

[@ivarwind]

Written at around the 6 minute mark: So if gifts are only worth 70% to 90% to the receiver (an unexpectedly *high* number, if you ask me, probably on par with, if not higher than the same value of most items you bought for yourself), that means the value of giving the gift to the giver, needs only be above 10% to 30% of the price paid, for giving the gift to be of greater total value to society than not giving the gift. So what do the stats say about the value to the giver - how many say giving a gift gives themselves a value of only 10% of the cost? Yeah... Not many, probably only the kind of morons who buy gifts for more than 10 to 15 people or so. (If you do, don't!) This is one of the reasons that while economics has a lot of maths, it is not science. If physicists argued like economists, they would say that because of gravity, everything is black holes. "But what about conservation of angular momentum, quantum mechanics, and stuff preventing collapse? If I include that, I can't make a sensational claim in my book and get a highly-paid job, so it doesn't matter."

[@wendydomino]

I feel like it's important to give presents to children but not necessarily for adults

[@georgelionon9050]

Exactly, my theory about this, its good for the kid if it gets special items on special occasions, instead of always when they want. So as an alternative "2 times a year you get a medium sized wish" would work too.. as an adult, it doesnt work, because my buy power is the comparable to yours. I mean if someone would gift me a house, since that is not something I can get by myself, I'd be jumping like that kid too... but hey.

[@Mawshroom]

I don't drink much, but if they're going to give me bourbon-scented stuff, just give me the bourbon-scented bourbon lol

[@laincoubert7236]

involuntary gift giving is so weird honestly. my mom used to work in a company where everyone would chip in like 5 dollars for the birthday person. which just creates a needless cycle of gifting that same money to each other throughout the year, except inflation is also a thing lol. the only person who truly benefits is the one who leaves the company a little after their birthday, without needing to "repay" that money to those who are yet to celebrate their birthday. as for the holidays though... the only truly effective options are: - secret santa where you have a chance to actually gift something cool. i did that once in my friend group and we loved it - a set of depersonalized but cute and/or practical things. say you do DIY/crafts of some sort. gifting everyone the same christmas ornament but with different twists could be a way to go without offending anyone. and since they're handmade or at least incorporate your knowledge about said thing, that adds to the value. - honestly, i will always accept money or candy. no need to stress yourself girl!

[@hasan7275]

one year my brother and i got anniversary gifts for my parents. my mom is really easy to choose things for-she loves practical things or really expensive shit and always tells us about the things she wants or needs at any time, so i have an amazing blueprint for her. but when it comes to my dad, i genuinely can’t figure out what i’d get him. he’s a chill guy, doesn’t really have many material wants or needs. but i know he’s an intellectual man and that he was a fan of Obama, especially as a person, so i thought i’d get him his book. I knew he didn’t read much but thought hey maybe he’ll find this interesting. i mean, he watches a lot of TV, but he’s also a busy man, books are relaxing, seems like a good time. bro didn’t even crack that book open! it was sad. so i’ve decided my gift from now on is gonna be like money or something idfk

[@nutherefurlong]

I guess the argument is that unlike birthdays there's also a seasonal pricing that increases the value gap? Also, I guess obligatory gift-giving sometimes over-runs targeted gifts that may also have a higher satisfaction ratio? Maybe birthdays can also be bad? Is there a way to quantify the bond some people get when they do get gifts, whatever the worth? I know someone who basically said "gifts are for kids" and bowed out of giving and receiving. To be honest it was a relief since it simplified the usual rush a bit, but since the rest are still doing it it feels awkward and in a way distancing somehow. Like there's another point of contact lost.

[@Molly-jh4kz]

I'm a skier and ski socks are a good gift. They're expensive as hell and you never have enough of them but you also feel guilty buying more. Good gift.

[@AnastasiyaSoyka]

It's bizarre to me that the criticism here is that a gifting economy within the framework of a capitalist mode of production is inherently inefficient. That's like saying that it's illogical to not stick a knife in a man and steal his wallet whenever the opportunity presents itself, because to not do so would be to minimize your own personal profit. Within the greater framework of human society, it does not make sense to draw blood over a wallet every time the guy standing in front of you lets his guard down. Gifting within a capitalist context is, on it's own terms, inefficient, but far more importantly, it is a major driver of profit for businesses and an overall boon to our economies, because the capitalist mode of production is defined both by excess production and also excess consumption, and gifting drives both halves to greater heights, resulting in a net boon to the overall economy, and, far more importantly, resulting in greater profits for the wealthy few who own the means of production. Gifting also sometimes promotes greater social bonds between friends and family, which, while not directly benefiting capital owners, still contributes to the overall cohesion of society, which is good for the stability of the capitalist mode of production. Economists have a habit of pointing out minor inefficiencies in the capitalist system, while purposefully blinding themselves to the overall contradictions present at a fundamental level within the capitalist mode of production. Taking these people seriously, simply because their papers contain wonderfully complex mathematics, and without the context of non-western economic theory (or even having just read Capital once), is a great way to mislead yourself and others about how our economic system really works. In summary, making a video that argues the merits of gifting from the standpoint of capitalist economic theory, as a theoretical physicist with no background in economics or familiarity with Marxism, is very astrophysicists in 2020 writing papers on epidemiology vibes.

[@GH-oi2jf]

From a standpoint of personal economics, crime doesn’t pay, on the average. Especially felony crime.

[@muddlewait8844]

THANK YOU

[@zionklinger2264]

I totally agree most gifts are garbage. I'm very lucky because my family handles this in a really good way. We just ask the other person what they want for a gift. My grandparents, who know nothing about computer parts, were kind enough to buy me a bunch of specific components for the PC I'm typing this on, because they asked me what I wanted, and then went out and just got exactly what I wanted. This is how my partner and I handle gifts as well, we just talk about the sorts of things that we would like and then using that info we generally get pretty good gifts for each other. To be fair though, we also do a lot of handcrafted gifts like crocheted stuff.

[@mai_komagata]

my go to gift is tasty snacks like nice chocolate or fancy nuts or something. Because even if you can just buy a snack for yourself you will eventually need more snacks. so it solves the "they can just buy it for themselves" problem because you can always have another fancy chocolate or what have you. and there are snacks everyone is known to like so it doesn't take that much time. And you can buy slightly different flavors for different people, so scalable. Also you can buy a local snack that although possible to find on the internet might be more than they would pay for a snack vs you buying local. and if they hate it, they can just have people at the christmas party eat it, so at least they get social brownie points of giving some chocolate to people. but yes i hate getting gifts unless they are consumables or art.

[@planaritytheory]

@43:20 It's true that it's impossible to get especially thoughtful or expensive gifts for everyone ("40 people"), but that doesn't cut against the signalling theory---it's kinda the whole point of it. Giving someone an exceptionally apt gift can convey information like "I invested more time and energy into your gift than into gifts for others"; expensive gifts can convey similar messages, etc. It doesn't mean Christmas gifts are good, but it doesn't mean they're bad, either.

[@allsss3792]

Thank you for articulation of an argument I have had with my family for forever. It is simply inefficient. Liked for Author hanging out in the back.

[@paulwinner2979]

Tangently, b/c it isn't about Christmas. But I have made some gifts easier to decide. For a new house I always give fire extinguishers. For wedding gifts I gift Twister bedding, with the spinner. Nieces and nephews have told my sister, (both got married in the past 2 years) to make sure I got them the bedding b/c they wanted it. My one nephew swears by the fire extinguishers b/c he put out a BBW fire with one.

[@maxleveladventures]

I've been saying this for many years. I decided a long time ago to just take the loss to my society points. I tell people not to get me a gift around obligated occasions like Christmas and birthdays. If it's a random gift they think I'll like because of something I said or they just saw and thought I'd like based on what they know about me, that's different. If I know the person well, I'll usually go so far as to tell them how I feel about the gift because I don't want to continue getting bad gifts. It has always felt so bad to lie in my reaction, pretending I like something I don't. It perpetuates the problem. It's just a waste of money and also feels bad when you realize the person doesn't know you as well as they think they do. Both objectively "bad" things. It might be a bit awkward to have the conversation one time, but it's so beneficial if people are just going to buy you gifts against your wishes.

[@sebastianrivera1828]

Ironically got a Manscaped ad that started with "Top 3 Gifts to get for a man this christmas"

[@batlrar]

I think what most people mean when they say they don't think that economics is a hard science is that it's a less predictable science. You can definitely use it to identify trends, but individual people can definitely differ, and local areas have unique environments. It's a lot like weather science, fluid dynamics, or psychology. That last one is probably the one most labeled a soft science, but people who study it find that humans are shockingly predictable. I'd at least say it's on a spectrum somewhere, but certainly harder science than body language reading without knowledge of the person's baseline. I like your formula for gift-giving; it really quantifies a lot of aspects that are important to the final result! I'd personally add "observation", although that might just be covered under "thought" or "idea", possibly. One of the best gifts I got was for my mom who was asking for something comfortable that year like soaps or a towel or any of the generic things she sometimes buys herself anyway. While I was visiting, I noticed that she was slowly prodding at the touchpad on her laptop, and making a few mistakes and unintended movements with it along the way. I decided to get her a wireless mouse in her favorite color, with matching mousepad with one of those big bubbly wrist rests, and she loved it and, just as you say in the video, was impressed by how it was just what she needed, but didn't realize it. Of course, she ended up breaking it and buying a new one and the mousepad has simply vanished into a closet somewhere, but the moment of revelation lasts a lifetime!

[@genexplore]

I feel like the economic example, and thus your inequality is flawed because the assumption is that the utility of the gift is extracted by the recipient. The utility is extracted from the giver. To go back to the sweater example, a handmade sweater is hundreds of dollars in labor and often more hundreds of dollars in quality yarn. Nobody would buy a handmade sweater as a gift, it would be too lavish for even your closest family members. Yet, people knit sweaters and hats and gloves and plush toys as gifts for friends and family every year, when clearly they could be more efficient with their time working a minimum wage job and just giving the money they earned as a gift, right? No, of course not, value isn't infinitely fungible. Every time they knit that article of clothing, they're thinking about their loved ones, and how when that loved one wears the clothing, they'll feel that connection to the person who gave it to them. There is no way the recipient can accept and know the true value of the article of clothing, and the person making it knows that.

[@darthelmet1]

I used to be really into economics. I think for me what became kind of gross about it for me (and maybe others) is how powerful people warped conclusions from it to justify the gross excesses of capitalism and to argue against needed interventions. Now that doesn't come directly from the discipline. (at least mostly) Every economics class I've taken has been very upfront about acknowledging how these are models, which while useful for certain analyses, are not actually true. In the same vein as the spherical cow joke from physics. If you try to apply models that assume perfect competition to real life where there are power imbalances in many transactions you end up with "the government shouldn't regulate this market with like 2 giant companies because the free market is efficient." Or more dangerously "The free market can solve climate change! If people really want to live they'll buy greener products and companies will innovate to meet demand!" Again though, these aren't valid conclusions from the study of economics. There is plenty of research that goes into market failures, externalities, information asymmetry, monopolies, etc. But that's not what gets trotted out by big corporations, their think tanks, or the governments they have in their pockets.

[@willcarson6680]

My family gives books only! It requires a good amount of thought and ideas and almost guarantees finding something they wouldn’t have found themselves, along with providing an activity for the rest of the year!!

[@tsobf242]

And that's just economics, not even the strange social dynamics of gift-giving. Does it cost too much, does it cost too little? They got me a gift last year, but I don't really know them that well, am I expected to reciprocate?

[@MrCactuar13]

I signed up for a white elephant exchange at my work place and brought a Gundam American type model kit because I thought it would be a funny gift. Unfortunately I'm one of only like 3 mega dorks out of everyone participating and it was sad to see it passed around with such disinterest. Everyone just brings cheap alcohol anyway so I guess this time I'll just buy an obnoxiously huge bottle of sake to make at least someone feel self conscious about their alcoholism.

[@Alister222222]

I have long since turned into a hardened grinch, when it comes to Christmas. You could literally solve world hunger on the waste generated by Christmas alone, making it one of the most unjustifiable expressions of human behaviour. I'd cancel Christmas in a heartbeat, if I was king of the world, and everyone would hate me for it and they'd all be wrong.

[@schnauzebauze]

Well, right after your rant: KZbin was like "We need beard trimmer advertisement. NOW!"

[@tribbybueno]

what do we want? socks. when do we want them? whenever it's convenient for my family to pay for it, probably christmas

[@Am-I-Lie]

I think a main function of gifts in my life is getting stuff I want, but just would not get for myeself due to being anxious about spending money and just not wanting to buy frivlous stuff. And I think that is true for many other people in my life.

[@RobertWSquirrel]

Growing up, my family didn’t really do christmas, and at holidays they often just gave money as presents. As a result I’m terrible at both giving and receiving gifts from my friends with more traditional backgrounds. When I was a kid I didn’t like getting cash presents, it felt kind of venal and gross, but in retrospect it was the only reasonable way to do things and I’m sad that it’s not more common.

[@passtheyaoi]

my favorite part of the week to two weeks after christmas is trying to shoehorn going to all the restaurants i got gift cards to so that i get them out of my wallet and dont forget they exist like yea i guess i'll go to subway today and canes tomorrow

[@trio1000]

Love that acollie loved the book gift the most. She was most impressed with how much of a deal they got in terms of advertising lol

[@wastedinspiration]

Oh, then there's me with a closet full of things I've bought all throughout the year for people just waiting for me to wrap them... If I see it and it makes her think of you, I'm probably buying it and putting it in the closet ... This only seems like a solution, what actually happens is when I go to unpack that closet, I find that I've completely missed some people or have enough gifts for my sister for Christmas, her birthday, probably Easter, Halloween, teacher appreciation Day, NEXT Christmas, etc. and meanwhile I never found anything I thought my brother would like...

[@NX42]

"everyone just has google alerts" "does anyone actually shop at khol's?" we live in such different worlds 😔

[@FireStormOOO_]

Ya know in hindsight when I was younger it *really* helped that my extended family mostly delegated the actual gift buying to my parents. They got to find out what they bought me in the thank you note. But yeah, really hard to make gift exchange as adults not suck.

[@DarthErdmaennchen23]

Ok so it took me 4 days to find the time to watch your video, that was weird. My main critique of your video is that socks are one of the best gifts. I love socks, socks are great. My gf doesn't allow me to buy more socks because according to her I have enough (which is not true, I am still missing socks for various scenarios), so if people started to gift me socks (high quality wool socks for example) I would be very very happy.

[@bobi7152]

But why is telling people what you want and then getting it not a gift? Especially for something bigger, not consulting is downright irresponsible. +the wedding gift lists exist for a reason, a new family needs many things, but only one of each

[@Edmonddantes123]

Angela should be the only KZbin physicist who makes videos on economics, *Sabine*

[@WadePEvans]

I truly wish someone would give me the same air fryer i already have so I can go another year without cleaning the one I have.

[@durandus676]

My parents repaired my tire for Christmas. I think that’s a good gift

[@dedvi]

The way I solved it with my best friend is we make a list of things we would like for eachother. If we feel like its not nice enough, we just buy something else that we think they would like

[@parhwy]

**raises hand meekly** I am a 53 year old man and I own thru gifting 20 pairs of Star Wars socks, 10 Star Wars tees, tea towels, plates, etc., etc.. That said, our family did cash one year and it was awful just awful.