Codependency and Abandonment Fears | Tips and Strategies for Enhancing Self-Esteem and Relationships

[@DocSnipes]

👌More videos can be found on this topic at: kzbin.info/aero/PLcB3trehXswh9zC9xVkAJekUGA1DwXyC9&si=lH_VvbHGc2T8C6WN ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification

[@LonjeMarie7]

I was in a very unhealthy abusive relationship as a result of therapy I learned about codependency ,and for two people to stay in a unhealthy codependent relationship they both have to have abandonment issues . Through my faith , and addressing and solving my abandonment issues I became much healthier and they gave me the strength to walk away. If I did it with all the obstacles I had to face anyone can. I am much happier now and much healthier!

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@abhijeetaanand2334]

How did you deal with it? I am struggling with codependency

[@msharic85]

How did u solve abandonment issues?

[@willcooke1789]

This genuinely peeled back the onion for the codependent parts of myself. Figuring out why certain relationships have not worked for me and exactly why/how they grew to become toxic when I didn’t understand before is lifting a huge weight off of me. At my core I really want to heal and just Love healthily and this just helped so much. This is a gift from God, Thank you so much.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@cathyduggar6545]

To grow happier, one needs to replace their pessimism, resentments, bad emotions and memories with new memories...GOOD experiences that form good FEELINGS, because it's actually the emotions/feelings that are making us encode a memory, is what I heard last night. THATS THE REASON for remembering so much bad stuff, the real emotions plus survival instinct says, hey, hold on to and remember this, it will save u from it happening again.

[@ShivaDagade]

​@@cathyduggar6545औरौ औरौ व दोन ते पाच😅😅😅😅😅

[@karenmininni4962]

My father was suddenly killed in a car accident and following his death I was unable to healthily attach to either my mom or older sister. Now in my older years I find codependency has progressed. I was never able to connect early abandonment/attachment trauma with my codependency issues. I cannot describe how grateful I am for these videos which connect these issues to each other and bring clarity and healing.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@DocSnipes]

My condolences on your loss.

[@rachelraja1032]

I believe I'm codependent due to toxic environment abuse from family initially. Father left and mother was damaged taking it all out on me. I was fostered in a few families. After that, because my brain was trained to be that way, I entered a toxic and unsuccessful marriage ending in divorce. I'm now 45 and trying to fix this on my own. I may or may not be single for the rest of my life but I want true happiness within first. To be happy is independence and freedom. I forgive my abusers and am ready to go forward. I want to fix this.. Thank you for this video.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank for sharing. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@jamesmitchell6288]

God will take it. He knows what you need. I will pray for you.

[@rachelraja1032]

@@jamesmitchell6288 thank you🙏

[@kweenofdasouf1632]

M

[@kweenofdasouf1632]

Mj

[@riggo44able]

Almost two years ago I watched this video, absolutely traumatized from a horrible brake up. I am so thankful to have been able to unpack our unhealthy relationship in the midst of such terrible pain. So thankful for all that I’ve learned. KZbin, Coda, and ACA have helped me so much. Thanks Doc Snipes, I will be forever grateful for your help in my recovery.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. It’s incredibly inspiring to hear how you’ve taken such painful experiences and used them as a catalyst for growth and healing. Breakups, especially from unhealthy relationships, can be deeply traumatic, but the fact that you leaned into resources like KZbin, CoDA, and ACA shows such strength and resilience. I’m honored that my content could be a part of your recovery process, and I’m grateful that you’ve found tools and communities that support you. Also, I’d be grateful if you were to share what you found most useful from the video. Additionally, if you're interested in more tips on the topic or if you want to explore my video library, you can use my AI: allceus.com/AskDocSnipes. Wishing you continued healing and peace on your journey. Stay strong!

[@riggo44able]

@@DocSnipes i think it means so much to know that “it’s not you”, in these types of relationships. Most of the patterns and traits that you went over with people with fear of abandonment, and codependency were on display. I just couldn’t see it because I didn’t understand it. Then going forward, I was finally able to see that I was almost as bad. But through it all, I’ve been able to work through a lot of grief, and unpack some of the shame I was carrying. But thanks your response. I have referred many people to your videos. Knowledge is so crucial to working through this kind of stuff.

[@MsAachapman]

I am amazed by how many of the signs for abandonment issues line up to red flags of an abusive relationships and domestic violence. Sounds like many abusers are dealing with abandonment issues... which makes sense.

[@kcasehassan9091]

Totally; good point. The more I think about it, the more it makes total sense

[@stanleymaestas5441]

Yep, I found out through lisa romano life coach I suffer from codependency. I'm currently healing myself from it.

[@anthonyiacobucci3652]

Pretty much all of them are

[@dotdashdotdash]

don’t make excuses for abusers; adults are 100% responsible for their behavior & their history is no excuse.

[@Saritabanana]

@@dotdashdotdash It's not an excuse. It's an explanation

[@jonathanmcqueen26]

I was certainly taught to serve others (especially as a Christian) and ended up being a boozer…I’ve had enough recovery and at 50 yrs old now I’ve learned I want what’s best for me and others. I learn from my mistakes and others mistakes and am able to “kick it” within the lines…. I was a people pleaser, always aiming for perfection, at least on the outside. I’m not being a rescuer, victim, or perpetrator anymore and try stay away from those that waste their time in that Bermuda Triangle!! Peace be with you….

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and, happiness.

[@FightingforGold]

I think one of the most difficult things to conquer is meeting the needs of others, because my needs were RARELY met. Having my own children and learning a lot, I have grown and become better, but I do wish I could have done things with more ease and enjoyment, instead of always analyzing “what’s the healthy response?”. One thing I can say is that I was never cruel to my children as my parents were to me, and I always showed them tremendous praise and love. They have had a much better childhood than I had(MUCH BETTER), but as I learned to parent myself it was difficult to parent them as effectively as I wish I had. Still improving every day....

[@elisabethcrokaerts1980]

I understand you completely. I wish you feel utterly loved understood and whole. 🧡🙏

[@suttynphoenix652]

I have core memories of literally crying myself to sleep on the porch swing or in the yard after begging my mom and dad to stay home with me or take them with me every weekend and they would leave me with my moms parents who eventually raised me it’s bothered me to this day I need this video it’s time for me to let that hurt go an give myself the love affection and care I need now thank you for this!

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

I’m feel bad this is happening

[@nathansnyder3517]

This woman just dissected who I am in a relationship. This lead to one of the healthiest realizations of my life. Repaired my relationship. Thank you so much!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching and thank you for your kind words. Please share the video, if you can and please tell me your favorite tip from it. Thank you again. Have a great day!

[@seekgodfirstallways8798]

Now I know why my boyfriend of 8 months, says he finds it hard to show or feel emotions like I do. I almost finished with him, because I couldn't cope , especially due to covid 19 and living 200 miles apart from each other. I've decided to be patient and leave things in God's hands. Because I love my boyfriend enough to give him more time to communicate with me. Thank you sooo much for this wisdom! X 🤗👏👏👏

[@DocSnipes]

Wishing you peace, health and happiness

[@sheilawang7563]

This is the best program for explaining abandonment fear and its relationship tp codependency to me. Thank you.

[@Einstellung]

I've really been enjoying this as well. I think it's one of the best videos on here on the topic.

[@kimberlystokes3758]

6t65

[@BeGioBijoux]

Wow to me it’s super obvious. When she mentioned they are related I just felt like everyone knew. I guess I need to watch my attachment style, thought everyone was the same 😓

[@the_mulattos]

Embedded in you the idea that that's what happened even if It didn't happen

[@djjustice3244]

God bless your good TIP..XOXO🔥🙏👑💘🙏🥀🥀🥀🐾🌻😻😅😻🐾🐾😻🐾🙏🙏💚💓💚💌🔥💜💗🙏🙏🙏🥀💛

[@princesskileyrae]

This came on (autoplay) randomly after Dr. Ramani & I'm so glad for that! What a great, thorough presentation! I've never heard such an in-depth explanation of these topics. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. :)

[@DocSnipes]

Wow, thanks SO much! :) I hope you subscribed.

[@philliphedges9972]

My mom was physically present but she wasn't mentally present. It was never how was your day hun what was going on let me help you with your homework it was never what are you feeling today it was never anything about my feelings. I was the kind of precocious child that liked adults and I like learning about them and hearing their stories. So my mom really took advantage of that in the sense where it was always about her life her stories and the same thing with my stepfather. My stepfather was a man who was very insecure with a false bravado or false sense of confidence that he portrayed to the world. But he always needed reassurance and constant pep talks from my mother or constant affirmations even from us kids especially me. And I think because he could on a you know primitive level understand that I didn't love him as a father he resented me for that and he's also took out his own frustrations as with himself on me. Such as he would often say that I was phony or that if only the church knew who I really was. Or always telling me that I was an imposter which is very devastating to a child and confusing to the child especially if the child is still trying to figure out who they are themselves and they're being told that what they are isn't what they are. But I think that was just a projection of my father feeling as though he was a imposter all of his life and then taking it out on me. Which is horrible.

[@philliphedges9972]

And then you add the verbal abuse and then you add the physical abuse and then you add the bullies at school I mean I was trying to escape from hell hole at school and I was trying then I was going home to another bully an adult male bully who also took steroids and opiates so therefore his moods were all over the place I was constantly we all were almost licking our fingers and putting it to the wind to see you know when the rain or the storm was going to come. I still walk on my tiptoes to this day. I learned to walk quietly and silently so that I can ever draw attention from my stepfather. I also for many years could not stand anyone standing behind me, because he would often slap me with full force behind you know at the back of my head. He would often call me a Mexican bastard. One time while my mother was out of town I was watching my siblings while he was at work and my sister got upset with me so she told him and he told me to pack all my stuff up and that he was taking me back to my wet back Mexican father in the neighboring town. So packed all my stuff up in garbage bags. My sister was even crying cuz she didn't mean for me to get not much trouble even though all I had been asking her was to clean her room. He came home drove me outside of town berating me the whole time I was probably about 7 years old. Then he told me to get out of the car he wasn't even going to take me to the neighboring. He turned around drove back towards town about 2 miles I could see his car 2 mi out I didn't know what to do or think all I knew was I felt better that I was outside the car with him cuz he could be violent. And then I see his car turn around with Dread I watched him drive back to me tell me to get my you know what in the car he told me not to say anything to my mother because if I said anything to her he would make sure I never saw my brother or my sister or my mom again. And so therefore I kept a lot of the abuse a secret. Although it wasn't much of a secret because he would outwardly attack me in front of any of my family members verbally or physically. My mom would only stop it if it got too bad. Because he was a very large muscular steroided man and I'm was a twig of a boy. This is why I left home at 15

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching.

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

I empathize with you

[@sjdkfl]

I knew I was in trouble when I was happy and in love because I knew in my heart it could never last. And it never does. It’s just good to realize there is more to life in finding my true free self.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. Maybe my latest video on Beginning Self Care for Wellness in All PIECES of Your Life might help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/anixqYOFp854j7s

[@riggo44able]

I found this video almost a year and a half ago now. I was going through the worst time of my life, just being discarded for a new source of supply. I could not understanding how it was possible to feel so much pain. But feel it I did. Pete Walkers books, coda, and other KZbin videos have also helped me immensely. But I will always be thankful for finding this Doc Snipes video when I did. I’ve probably listened to it 35 to 50 times by now, but it just nailed me and my narcissistic exes behaviors. Thanks again Doc Snipes, you helped me save my life.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome. I am grateful to have been of help.

[@tracycorrea379]

I need a therapist who has this depth of education.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Are you in TN or FL? Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@jacquelynkennedy4568]

Im also looking for therapy and I’m in fl

[@lisaariottiart]

Holy Crap --- this explains EVERYTHING in a nut shell. Im almost traumatized by listening.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much for watching.

[@Mindsetolympics]

Literally cried watching because things in my life started popping up and realizing why I isolate or my interactions with ppl are the way they are…

[@djjustice3244]

Well MAYBE SELF CARE CAN BE GETTING YOURSELF THERAPY SAYS DJ...🙏💗💞💞💗🔥💚💛💗🔥💜💘💖💋💖💓💖🥀🕯🥀🕯💝HAPPY HALLOWEEN 💝💝💝💝🔥🙏💗💘💖💖💖💌

[@djjustice3244]

@@Mindsetolympics AWARENESS IS 1ST STEP TO GET HELP XOXO💋🥀🕯💌🥀🕯💌🥀💝💙💜💜💙💛💙💜

[@stanleymaestas5441]

Yes, when I'm scared I desire for someone to ,"be there"

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@old_big]

Oh my god your right. I’m finally seeing myself in a new light

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching. I am grateful to be of help. What have you found most helpful from the video?

[@thomashardy9937]

Absolutely amazing. For personal reasons I am having such a breakthrough (plural)! Additionally, I’m in the help industries, cultural inclusion, addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and professional services in the way of facilitation, project management, change management and process development. Through your work I see better why people can resist change. This is an extraordinary eye-opener considering the diverse people and organizations with whom I work. Thank you so much! thank you very much.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re most welcome! Thanks for watching. If you’re interested in obtaining new certification, here is the link to my certification training masterclasses: certifiedaddictioncounselor.com

[@happygucci5094]

Thank you for making this information available to the public. I also apprecite your empathetic and measured view of personality disorders as opposed to a great many people in the profession either speaking about person's suffering in an overly intellectualized way and/or perjoratively. I am certainly not dismissing or excusing problematic behavior- I am super appreciative of a professional that speaks with empathy and understanding on this and the various other topics that you cover. Your work is appreciated.

[@DocSnipes]

TY so much!

[@totam7706]

@@DocSnipes where are you in Florida that I can get therapy for this. it's severe wirh me.

[@MsHairis8]

The ending section of questions to ask is so helpful, I screenshot them to take my time and go thru them. I have been looking for solution videos most videos on yt are just diagnostic giving u “5 reasons u can tell you’re codependent “ Like I know I am now what lol what’s next. So thank u for the practical healing questions

[@billthelen6524]

Thank you Dr. Snipes for another awesome and helpful video. I have been in and out of relationships all my life since I was a teenager. Fear of abandonment and feelings of low self-esteem were pretty much the reason. I tried to fill an empty feeling inside through relationships. Through DBT therapy, I have learned how to be okay being me. Since then, I have been in a long term relationship. Even though, I still feel invalidated and unloved at times. We always seem to work things out..

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you so much for watching. What tips from the video will you use to increase self-esteem and address codependency and abandonment anxiety?

[@tonyvargas368]

This was terribly eye opening for myself and I grateful to have found this. Wow.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@melodeevonmeyer4216]

Melody Bestie is going to Trader Joe's Marie Calendars reception as nd her book signing at that time I had 9 years in the 12 programs codependency and my area Long Beach to South Bay so I stood In the corner with her and I would identify and directed them to area that matched. So I quit at 15 years and 6 years and 2 geographicald. I survived 4 sponsors. Thanking God I found you on UTube and your way of teaching is a positive and cute. You pinpointed my problem and described it because I avoid feeling but just describing so I can see my behavior for me so much needed understanding. I thank God for you and your knowledge and understanding them helping so many.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am so grateful to be of help and I am grateful for you watching the video. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@1991windsor]

Good information and it definitely explains why the co-dependent and the narcissist or borderline are drawn to one another. I always wondered how I got entangled with a narcissist and this helps explain it.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Me too. I sure keep my distance now though!

[@djjustice3244]

What. YOUR SAYING IS NOT FULY TRUE NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS SEEK TARGETS NOT PEOPLE OR RELATIONSHIPS... THEY NEED (** SUPPLY..ITS VERY SELFISH ,& SRLF - CENTERED & SELF SEEKING BY THE NARCISSIST& NARCISSISTIC ABUSERS WHO ARE OFTEN CRIMINALS TOO.... RIGHT?? DR.SNIPES??

[@sssttt2211]

Don't get entangled with people. Life is beautiful if you don't get entangled. You don't need anything from external world.

[@2CheekyRabbits]

I really needed to hear that. TY

[@MJ-qb5ph]

I tend to agree. Thank you for this

[@krisscanlon4051]

Amen I don't plan to ever again. I let myself get burnt to a crisp and lost a critical 4 years of my life. Today I live for me...never again will I live below the veil of consciousness.

[@brittneyhibdon3896]

Umm, this is avoidant behavior “if I do not have expectations, I can’t be let down.” I am sorry for all of the things you all have been through, but understand that our learned instincts are going to do their best to protect us, so while it may serve you, this is not healthy either. Humans do not exist well in a vacuum. Sure it is possible, but it is extremely lonely. A better approach is setting healthy boundaries and doing your best to not allow others to ignore them. The other persons words, should absolutely reflect in their actions and if they do not, they are not trustworthy. Hold them and yourself accountable - if it feels wrong, majority of the time you are absolutely right, don’t gaslight yourself. You deserve to do right by yourself, to not allow the actions of others to rule your future. You can not undo your past, but you can unpack it and not perpetuate the cycle. Best wishes and love to everyone of you.

[@spiritualsandy]

No healthy relationships will ever come from this type thought process. Not heath for you as a person or your other relationships in your life. Interdependence is key. Sounds like you are a DA.

[@riggo44able]

I am so thankful for you Doc Snipes. Absolutely a godsend for me at this time. Keep up the great work.

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome. I appreciate you watching

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

Me too she is awesome

[@edgreen8140]

Abuse is not acceptable emotional , verbal or physical. The need to make excuses for others is not healthy i.e. alcoholic family. Codependency= if i do x y z and complete these tasks then i will be lovable.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

Do as I say not as I do. Narcisstic famiky cults are defined this way and have to outwardly abuse to not take responsibility for their own failure to take responsibility. Sick

[@lynettecaballero1660]

Even if u do x u z and all the emotionally unavailable wants of you to male them happy,it will never be enough to fill their voids in them nor can they love you back fully,the little love you get is only love of what you do for them or make them feel by outer things like showing them care,love,attention,appreciation,admiration for superficial things they do which mostly will have a benefit to them too.

[@alicerose9140]

Thank you for beautiful clarity and kindness.

[@DocSnipes]

You are so welcome

[@theorphicpariah5669]

Incredibly useful! So grateful for your time and expertise. 🦋

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@bens3767]

This was super informative and helpful I am just now knuckling down and starting work with my own attachment behaviors and this helped immensely to introduce me to the theories.

[@DocSnipes]

Glad it was helpful!

[@cuddlemonster468]

Such a great job articulating this. Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency kzbin.infosearch?query=secure

[@cuddlemonster468]

@@DocSnipes I found the "Questions for Client About Core Beliefs" around the 55 minute mark particularly valuable.

[@cause_idgaf]

This video is so insightful and very informative thank you so much

[@jui7684]

I feel understood. Tysm .

[@DocSnipes]

Wonderful

[@lsd938]

Overt is better than covert... covert will do a lot of damage before you realise that you need to run...

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Thank You! I needed to learn about Fear of Abandonment.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@victoriaporsiempre]

Dr.Snipes! thank you for your videos! 🙏🏽❤

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most useful from it?

[@woobielocks]

Wow, thank you so much! I REALLY APPRECIATE your naming of what’s actually wrong with me. First time my problem resonates as truth with me! So basically cluster b actions result from cluster b trauma that you probably got from a cluster b parent acting out cluster b trauma responses and so forth. Thank you for the puzzle piece I’ve needed my entire life to be whole. I’m pretty sure I can feel nontoxic if I can answer these questions.

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. Other videos on codependency that might help you can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@irislama4695]

Thanks for helping me and many! 🙏

[@philliphedges9972]

I had an autologous stem-cell transplant a year ago; none of my family was there at all. I was in the hospital for an entire month, not a phone call, not a text nothing. And I always thought that I came from a big large connected close loving family but that was also really hard for me to be honest. I mean I'm very adaptable but it bothers me today actually

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry that happened to you and I appreciate you watching.

[@vyoletrose3218]

Im sorry you went through that alone 🙁 I hope you are doing much better now.

[@philliphedges]

@@vyoletrose3218 I am. Me and dogs. My family:)

[@vyoletrose3218]

@@philliphedges 💓 Beautiful. Im really glad you have each other :)

[@ajordan1847]

This is so good, and the strategies for what to look for are helpful. Thank you for what you do! I've subscribed to your channel.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching and for subscribing. It is truly appreciated. What would you say is your favorite strategy from the video?

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

Love this doctor

[@ajordan1847]

@@DocSnipes Hi Dr. Snipes, I think it's more of a collective process for the strategies reviewed, "building awareness of triggers" and understanding how to reframe narratives built from codependent behaviors. Particularly the " Signs of Abandonment Issues" really resonated. Also, learning to identify "All or nothing" extremes in how I approach people and decisions enabled me to rethink how I view relationships with loved ones and reestablish healthy boundaries.

[@slgreetings]

I abandoned my son when he was 15. I didnt leave him physically, I did emotionally. Now I look back and die of embarrassment, shame, regret... I was a mess. How did this happen to me? I was always so strong.i know the answers now, but then, I had no idea I was a codependent... I have given everything of me to everyone and have always been in narcissistic relationships. All lessons learned except now I don't know how to fix me and my son. He got caught between the 2 of us. We had such a Fun life together up until then. I feel I'll never get over this. disappointing my son. Hurting him terribly... and feeling betrayed by life as I did everything to be the best mom in the world...I never even knew how broken I was. I get it all now... but there's always so much more to learn. I've done 7 years of obsessive studying, reading, watching experts on these topics.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@kelseycreating]

I dated someone for a long time who’s mom abandoned him and she still does not even act like she actually did this. Probably not that reassuring, but it means a lot for you now to face that and recognize it happened. You may have made a mistake but it’s what you do after that matters, and it seems like you’re working hard now for yourself and your son. You seem like an amazing woman and may god bless you

[@ianmcnally8501]

@marykay can you talk to son and apologize? Maybe he can forgive you?

[@rubberbiscuit99]

I feel you. It took me a long time to forgive myself, and I still suffer pangs of guilt from time to time. One thing that helped me was recognizing that I was dealing with trauma that preceded me and took place over many generations of my female ancestors. Confronting this trauma is very heavy and too threatening for many to even attempt, so give yourself some room and some credit for what you are working towards, as well as for how far you have already come. ☮️❤️

[@alphamom8218]

We are the ones brave and strong enough to recognize and put a stop to generational trauma. Explain what happened and ask for forgiveness. I’m in the same situation, it’s really hard. Just remember we were strong enough to go deep into our inner hell to get the key that will free our children from this ancient trauma prison system. Have compassion for your innocent inner child. ❤

[@justinheer9098]

Great insight the pieces of the puzzle are coming together and in recovery being able to see the why's is very helpful thanks Doc snipes

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

Absolutely

[@JasonHo]

Fantastic information. You answered so many questions I had about myself and others. Thank you.

[@DocSnipes]

Ty. And Thanks for watching.

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

THAT WAS AN AMAZING CLASS! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

[@DocSnipes]

You're so welcome!

[@GrowBraveWay]

Also learning about pathological loneliness.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. What did you find most useful from the video. Other videos on codependency that might help you can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@glenlukose54]

What's the best way to heal? I know it's not an overnight solution but a process, and watching this is the first step. What do you recommend?

[@jacquelynkennedy4568]

DBT Skilled therapy. They are support groups check on fb for groups that have free zoom meetings

[@anishshakya1295]

Vipassana meditation (mindfulness)

[@yingliwang3028]

I find this content so helpful, I believe we all suffer from abandonment issue in varying degree. I wonder where can I get the PowerPoint of this presentation?

[@itsallinmyheds6874]

This describes the entire doctor/ patient relationship for chronic pain patients since 2016 & the dynamic switches back & forth so all the codependency falls on the patient, who needs pain medication. Doctors reject me all the time because I need opiate medication to operate my body, because of a genetic disorder of my soft tissue. It’s a living nightmare…😢

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

😢I’m so sad for this dear

[@heatherashley785]

Excellent teaching thank you.

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. Thanks for watching. Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@jeanmarieobrien8254]

You're amazing thankyou very much I am so grateful of your knowledge

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for commenting and watching!

[@CoconutwCoco]

what practical methods and tools we as clients that can use? I find myself unable to rewrite the core belief, I can't find much proof against them. your videos have been the most helpful, I truly appreciate it. Love long content.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video and for your questions. Have you tried watching the video on addressing negative thoughts? kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGXLfH93eruHiJo There’s also a video on addressing cognitive distortions that might help you kzbin.info/www/bejne/oHTHpGCeqMSlb6M

[@CoconutwCoco]

@@DocSnipes thank you so much. I will watch them. hope they would help!

[@GO-dd1po]

Awesome presentations and analyses Doc Snipes. Doc Snipes could you do a presentation on adults whom consistently behave in negative behaviors that drive family and loved ones away from them. Thank you.

[@DocSnipes]

I will put that in my suggested video list. Thanks for watching.

[@GO-dd1po]

@@DocSnipes Thank you

[@rcz2023]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@smurfettebliss8190]

I'm an adult with extreme abandonment issues. How can I make it go away!? It's ruining my life!

[@peggysullivan5396]

Therapy

[@DocSnipes]

A good, licensed, professional counselor should be able to help.

[@mindysmith2087]

Thank you so much for all the amazing content.

[@DocSnipes]

So welcome. I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@01bebz]

This opened my eyes to so much I have to work on. Great presentation!

[@DocSnipes]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@SindanSeen]

Sign of abandonment issues: • 23:44 - Attach too quickly • 24:16 - Move on too quickly • 24:27 - Partner pleaser • 24:40 - Settle for bad relationships • 24:54 - Constantly looking for flaws • 25:26 - Reluctant to fully invest in a relationship • 25:45 - Difficulty trusting • 25:56 - Avoid emotional intimacy • 26:07 - Feeling unworthy of love • 26:21 - Jealous of virtually everyone • 27:23 - Hypervigilance and over-analysis • 28:13 - Repressed Anger • 28:46 - Overly controlling • 28:56 - Self-sabotage • 29:04 - Blame yourself for breakups

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for pointing that out! It’s great to see that you’ve highlighted these specific moments from the video. It really shows how much you’re engaging with the content! Each of these signs gives us a deeper understanding of how abandonment fears can show up in relationships and daily life. It’s helpful to recognize these patterns so we can work on them mindfully. Did any of these resonate with you personally, or have you found any strategies that help manage them? Which sign do you think is most relevant in your life right now, and what’s one thing you’re doing to work through it?

[@SindanSeen]

⁠@@DocSnipesThank YOU for everything you share with us , you are literally saving me helping me understand my pain & suffering. I wanted to show my appreciation by helping others reach these parts of the video. I specifically relate to partner pleasing , feeling unworthy of love & I am slowly learning to connect to my self . Thank you again for your comprehensive work on many topics , I wish you the best in life.

[@Sabbbem]

I am eternally grateful to have found your channel 💙

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

So helpful

[@lydiadevries8408]

Thank you this is really good.

[@DocSnipes]

You are welcome.

[@_marduk]

Thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

You’re so welcome. I am grateful to be of help and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@glennrice7795]

- I've been vilified for using the term "co-dependent," apparently because it's now considered not a condition. If this is so, how would one define the symptoms without using the word? I don't expect an answer, but I *did* get this off my chest.

[@waynepolo6193]

Codependency is indeed not a ‘condition’ as it is not in the dsm-v. It can be tricky though, because doctors will diagnose the codependent with depression or, depending* personality disorder or something, just to get insurance to cover treatment. Shortest description of codependency I can think of would be something like, “equates self-worth with self-sacrifice. Anticipates the ‘needs’ (demands) of others as a holdover of childhood attempts to minimize conflicts and outbursts in the home environment. Probably feels like being “low maintenance” is their best quality” Edit: *Dependent* Personality Disorder

[@ginger48isgreat]

@@waynepolo6193 Totally agree.. I’m doing anything I can to get my family to like me. The more I back down or cater the more they treat me like a loser ..

[@dsnitz1]

@@waynepolo6193 this..."Shortest description of codependency I can think of would be something like, “equates self-worth with self-sacrifice. Anticipates the ‘needs’ (demands) of others as a holdover of childhood attempts to minimize conflicts and outbursts in the home environment. Probably feels like being “low maintenance” is their best quality” Is exactly how I have been living for 63 years and wondering why my relationships always fail. As the oldest of 7, and the only girl, I took on keeping peace in the house so we didn't have the outbursts that would result in physical punishment for all of us. I left home at 16 and spent the rest of my life running away when I felt like there was going to be a confrontation about anything.

[@roblotomy]

So relatable.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks so much. Have a great weekend!

[@juliashearer7842]

This has left me wondering what would be left of me if I was able to stop all of the behaviours that I can identify with in this video.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. You can try replacing the behaviors you’ve identified with healthy ones.

[@sharon-py7os]

Really interesting and helpful,thank you!

[@nicolebhjaymadre9045]

This is good to understand our children and ourselves

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@SlobZombie]

I struggle so much with all the above. Its actually very overwhelming even know where to start in recovery. Theres such a disconnection I have with everyone, I feel I cant relate to a soul.

[@DocSnipes]

I am sorry about that and I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? If you are interested in videos on codependency, you can find them at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@JustJen1386]

Love this channel, so informative

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks very much.

[@anndillard8681]

Over attended to - smothered - can also distort attachment theory..

[@varnishyourboard]

I miss her so much. All these issues scared her away forever. Ugh.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@vyoletrose3218]

I feel your pain 😢 I wish you healing and peace in your heart.

[@DocSnipes]

Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com

[@Thaulopi]

i love power-point karaoke^^ Still, a very good presentation. Thank you Ms

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching

[@Thaulopi]

@@DocSnipes No, Madam, I would like to express my deepest gratitude for brininging light in to darkness, knowledge inot the realm of questiones and hope to those who dwell in despair. Thank You, kind Madam

[@loridriskell8121]

Shame the damage. Some parents have. Caused the lack of tools to have normal relationships the struggle is Real

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@Mindsetolympics]

Hi whats the best way to donate to this channel this info is invaluable literally cannot put a price on it God bless you crying as I save these questions I need to journal out for myself 😭😭😭

[@DocSnipes]

KZbin has a tip link under every video, I think. We may role out something where users can support/ sponsor specific videos or the channel as well. You can watch DocSnipes.com website for things like that. :) Thanks for the question and watching!

[@YungDreezy]

Great content, really helpful. Thanks!

[@ceciliaguevarra7761]

Past is past let’s move in the future...

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@redlady222]

Thank you

[@DocSnipes]

You're welcome

[@TheAdhdGardener]

All I can say is WOW😱

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. What would you say is your favorite tip from the video?

[@TheAdhdGardener]

Don't hide the feelings anymore. Acknowledge them. As Bob Marley says in one song -"you running and running, running away but you can't run away from yourself" Thing is that most people including myself don't realize what's going on or is it rather they dont want to face it. It's time. It reminds me of Dr. Jordan Peterson said in a few of his lectures. We all have a monster inside.. time to Acknowledge it, reign it in and work with it. Better to know all of you than just bits n pieces so u can become a better version of yourself.

[@michellemejia8925]

How do you beat the power play so no get hurt or hate each other for life

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@NavyLady82]

My mom would rather believe she is a chosen one than to just grapple with her childhood.

[@DocSnipes]

I appreciate you watching. If you’re interested in codependency, you can find other videos on it at: kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency

[@VoiceoftheProphecy]

Oh wow. I understand

[@27mmo]

Is there any way to find a therapist who works with this information?

[@kaitemarie5404]

Soooo helpful.

[@DocSnipes]

Awesome

[@rascallyrabbit]

i simply eliminated any needs. Needs, what are they?😊

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching

[@agniyogabyinessa]

The puppet example was so hilarious, I had to comment on it 🤣

[@caveymoley]

Whats frustrating about this topic is that it's always presented as if abandonment issues are the result of childhood trauma exclusively, and as though it manifests as a fear of abandonment WITHIN relationships, What about the abandonment issues that are the result of a breakup in adulthood? Ones that manifest not as a fear of future relationships, but as persistent feelings of having been disposed of and made to feel worthless? - It's like there's two different situations, one where the patient is "dealing with" what MIGHT happen...(loads of psych videos about it) and another situation where patient is "dealing with" what HAS happened, (no psych videos about it)

[@DocSnipes]

There are very few things with the human mind that are "exclusive" as you say. Thanks for watching.

[@cathyduggar6545]

Patricia asked, what if the child is getting their attachment needs met but is still clinging and fearful? This is at mate marker 1433. This happened with my son. What stopped it was when I finally got some friends that he could get nurturement from other adults, but not JUST that, since this final resolvement happened not with just other adults around wllling to meet his needs, but because of addition of a father and a boy child, along with mother and daughter (he already HAD this stimulus around him constantly, all the residents I knew at the complex were female) My son stopped being a hemorrhoid (bless his sweet heart) and he went OUTSIDE WITH OTHERS, WITHOUT ME. Was such a change. This is also when he finally started attempting to talk instead of seeming to refuse the attentions of other moms and young girls. I didn't understand it but then I heard something about a shy monkey something or other. Where baby monkeys won't stop clinging to Mommy's leg. There, finally with the addition of adult monkeys that would mother the child, the monkey stopped clinging to home base and explored its environment.

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching and sharing your experience.

[@furkandesign-art9213]

24:50 26:00 28:50 43:38 52:55

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching and for sharing. Have a great day!

[@Mereship]

Are these characteristics of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder?

[@bettydavis9025]

Thanks!

[@DocSnipes]

WOW, Thanks so much for the tip! I really appreciate it.

[@bettydavis9025]

@@DocSnipes Dr. Snipes it's like you were describing me...do you know a good place where I can get help for overcoming or managing this type of challenge? Do you offer therapy? The inability to identify and express my feelings is getting the best of me...along with the entire package of other things like self esteem issues.

[@djjustice3244]

ENTANGLEMENT IS WHAT EXACTLY BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR EXAMPLES

[@djjustice3244]

I Was FEELING UNSAFE .MY PTSD WENT OFF THE SCALE FROM 4 TO A 9 ON A SCALE OF 1-10

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching.

[@heatherbingaman5693]

Is there a way to download these slides? Thank you!

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the videos. Yes, you can find the PowerPoint presentations, worksheets and review sheets on DocSnipes.com.

[@sharonhearne5014]

What happens when the child (me) chooses to abandon the mother due to her obvious cruelty? At that same time there was a turn to my profoundly religious, seemingly supportive father but results in no genuine support due to his addiction to his wife, my mother. Therefore my choice from the perspective of a four year old child (me) ends up with complete and total emotional (but not physical) abandonment. So, is the choice I made a source of self hate and self rejection?

[@DocSnipes]

Generally our choices are based on the best choices for us in the moment. I would lean to discovery of why it was the best choice for self-survival.

[@sharonhearne5014]

@@DocSnipes My mother’s tactics were “soul damaging” , i. e., survival of the psyche was critical for me.

[@taylorpresley4604]

@@sharonhearne5014 I have been there Sharon, give yourself love, we need it.

[@anndillard8681]

Those high on the empath spectrum must learn to set boundaries.. trying to heal others is toxic.. only you can heal yourself.. Books to read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR -memoir/self-help - FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTION OF THE CURSE.. journey of a woman's heart..

[@DocSnipes]

Thanks for watching! Videos on boundaries you might be interested in can be found at: kzbin.infosearch?query=boundaries

[@peggygarcia1131]

Codependent 35:20

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you so much for watching. How are you planning to build secure attachment?

[@sharijames9622]

Where do we get help?

[@DocSnipes]

A mental health counselor or marriage and family therapist can help.

[@unapologeticallyria6386]

If I would have seen this 2 years ago my boyfriend would probably still be alive today.

[@DocSnipes]

My condolences. Wishing you peace, health, and happiness.

[@unapologeticallyria6386]

Growing up without parents isn’t easy

[@sssttt2211]

My mother has abandonment issues. She 8s hypercritical, uses manipulation, shame guilt, controlling, demanding behaviours and she has told many times why going elsewhere is not safe... Haha.. safe for whom? In fact her 5his very behavior makes people to abandon her. Even I keep safe distance from her and meet once a week for 1 hour or many be once a month for an hour. I don't mind leaving her at any moment. Some companies are looking for codependents. They know these people will do anything do get approval and do even more work. Beware of such bosses and companies. I know a few. They will give more and more work. But won't pay you the same for that work. Be direct in your asks. Assess if work given 8s realistic for payment they are making , not for job title but the payment they are making. Compare that with others in company and with outside companies. If they refuse to pay for what you did work on, leave that job.

[@peggysullivan5396]

Huh?

[@buckrogers8889]

Main takeaway point - a narcissist isn't human.

[@DocSnipes]

Thank you for watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at kzbin.infosearch?query=codependency