Accepting Your Loved One's Mental Illness

[@LivingWellAfterSchizophrenia]

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[@irishdeetalks]

You made me cry, . When my son had his first psychosis episode, he was hospitalised for months (He was only 17) . When we got the diagnosis’s of his schizophrenia I felt the son I knew is gone 😭. Yes I blamed myself so much , bad parenting, was there something wrong with me that caused it? etc... I don’t tell people my son has “schizophrenia” not out of shame, but it’s his story to tell and it’s up to him to except it. He’s finding a very hard time accepting it. He’s been in and out of hospital, but in time he will come to terms. It’s been three years on and we’re still on this journey but we’re on this journey together.

[@leopardprints14]

Sending you and your son lots of love. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to blame yourself. Even medical professionals and scientists have been unsuccessful in proving what exactly causes schizophrenia. All you can do is support your son, which you already seem to be doing xxx

[@irishdeetalks]

@@leopardprints14 Thank you 😊 💜💜

[@annagreco4490]

I know exactly how you feelxx

[@lesliekelley7572]

Over time my son has stabilized, has insight into his illness and is accepting. Could things be better? Sure. But he is building a life on his own terms. Not mine. And that’s what grown up children are supposed to do. Wishing you and your son all the best.

[@Yourtherianhere]

I will pray for you and your son to get better and have your happy life better. I know how hard it is. ❤️

[@curlykuli]

I love this! My boyfriend who has schizophrenia told me before we met in person. I accepted him from the beginning even though he hasn’t accepted his mental health. We been together over 10 months and I was with him during two episode because his medication was off. Yes, it was scary but I didn’t give up on him. I stay positive and calm. It is very important to have a support system and to have knowledge on mental health. This channel has help me a lot, thank you so much Lauren & Rob!

[@FM-st4yn]

Lauren is lovely, Rob is also such a sweetheart. You both make a beautiful couple 💑

[@layotheleprechaun]

Great to hear the perspective from the partners side! You are both very lucky🙌🏻

[@yelenarotar2307]

I agree

[@DewayneJohnson83]

Thank you for this Rob. My wife of 12 years went into psychosis in July for the first time. I wish I had watched this video then. I've already accepted the end result but I'm sharing this to her family that still denies the yet to be diagnosed(takes 6 months to officially diagnose in my area) condition. She checks every box and still has denial but I've fully accepted it and thanks to both of you I know what to look out for to get help. Thank you Rob, you have a beautiful incredibly intelligent wife. She's starting to grasp the situation and so am I. I hope they find better treatments in the future but I do love my wife beyond what words can explain.

[@joyobahomovie2660]

Denial is a big challenge ,and it leads to the patient deteriorating

[@DewayneJohnson83]

@@joyobahomovie2660 she's slowly working through it. I wouldn't call it "progress" but more of "learning to live".

[@patriciacinea3097]

I work in mental health. Very well said, Rob.

[@MeganOliveri]

I love how understanding and communicative you and Lauren are with each other (and us). Y'all are going to be the best parents!

[@ronalddonner3396]

I don't mean to be offensive but is it really a good idea for someone diagnosed with this chronic disease with a relapsing-remitting course to have children?

[@Jrnpd456]

​@@ronalddonner3396 Hi Ronald, I suggest a good place to start before making these kinds of comments is to read up a little bit more on what it means to be a good parent, and what a happy, healthy child needs. I don't know this couple personally, but from what I can see, Rob is clearly a loving and supporting partner, and father. He has children from a previous partnership, which means he knows what it takes to be a parent. Rob also doesn't recognise as having a disorder. Lauren has a diagnosis being schizoaffective disorder with a chance of having another episode, or more intense symptoms. This is part of her, and all anyone with this diagnosis can do is manage it as best they can. This diagnosis doesn't make her a bad mum, and certainly doesn't disqualify her from her right to have her own child with her husband. While genetics play a role in carrying on illness's and diseases, there certainly isn't a 100% chance that their baby will be diagnosed with the same disorder. But if he does, he will be a lot more prepared and have a lot more support from his family than a lot of others do who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia / schizoaffectivedisorder, hence the necessity for this channel.

[@ronalddonner3396]

As I said,I am not trying to be offensive but it is a question that must be asked.I have been at my brother's side for more than 40 years, doing my best to help him in every way I can with this insidious condition.However at least in his case ,it would have led to disaster had he married during a period where "the monster" as he calls it was quiet ,only to come back roaring back.I ask the question out of concern not out of hate!

[@lisamanrique1770]

@@ronalddonner3396 @Ronald Donner I understood your question as legitimate concern, I've made the statement sometimes regarding my own son. But each and every person with any mental health or physical health issue addresses this question individually according to their personal issues. Not one person is exactly affected as another because our brains are individual to our own body and our own life. Some people with no mental or physical issues should not have children because of their own personal life. Many people affected by mental health issues lead very productive, loving, caring lives - sometimes alone or as with Rob and Lauren - together, each contributing to their family support as they need.

[@megandisselkoen]

So, my sister who is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder just relocated near me. She has had the disease for over 25 years. Managed well independently until a year ago when her psychiatrist retired. The past year for her has been terrible because of the instability of a supportive and knowledgeable psychiatrist in her area. Long story short, it is vital someone with this disease have a family member who steps up as their advocate. I did this for my sister and while I initially thought my life as I knew it would be over, I’ve learned through this channel that this is something that can be managed. At times it is scary and unsettling, but a supportive environment is key.

[@tamilopez6823]

I just want to let you know how much good you both are doing. My husband takes medication for chronic depression with psychotic features, my daughter with Down Syndrome is diagnosed with bipolar, though she has symptoms that make me think she is also schizoaffective disorder, and my son is diagnosed bipolar/schizoaffective disorder. It has been quite a wild ride. We have two other kids who do not seem to have any mental illness. My struggle has always been "what does my son think and feel, how much awareness does he have, why does he do what he does???, etc". I have just gotten so much from your vulnerability and Rob's. You are helping so many people. You have really helped me. I have recommended your channel with several people. One thing we really struggle with is the feeling that there are not enough resources or support for our loved ones and the families. I am in the USA, so I know that is different than where you live. Our two kids are both still on our medical insurance because we were able to arrange that even though they are 33 and 31. God bless your beautiful little family.

[@WVMothman]

Your a better man than I am, my sister developed schizophrenia out of college and it literally destroyed my parents lives, we were viewed as societal outcasts just being associated with it.

[@vilmasouza7132]

Accepting the help will make everyone’s life easier and the sooner the better for the patient and all those who are part of the family. For the patient, to live without medications can be hell. Please be accepting before it’s too late. They need you. Only love can make it happen!

[@aimeejane_writings]

Rob is so understanding. Lauren is so lucky to have him and vice versa!

[@cscott11]

Every persons with mental health difficulties needs someone to care and accept them.

[@daveygrace2318]

I think Lauren is so safe. Xxx look after her Rob, your a lucky man.

[@jax-zm1bb]

Our middle son first had his thoughts racing at age 14 or 15. When we took him to a psychologist he was sectioned immediately. He has had a checkered life up to now when he is 46 years old, in and out of hospitals, trying so many medications/ being off medications, being homeless, trying so hard to hold various jobs and go to university, 2 suicide attempts, and being mostly treatment-resistant. He has been sectioned for 5 years now by court order after he almost died when he stayed outdoors in Boulder CO during freezing weather for 2 days. Although we are his legal guardians, he blames us for everything and won't talk to us now. It's been a series of miracles for him. It's a wonder he is still alive. I'm glad I found your channel, Lauren. You offer HELP & HOPE for caring parents at the end of their rope.

[@flowerainbowarisa]

Having my brother has schizophrenia and has a religious family, I know what you mean. The first time my brother had psychosis, it was our first time go to a mental hospital. Shock, guilty, and sadness! He must be hospitalized there, but when we saw his room and roommate, we didn't want to put him there. Being in that condition, living with strangers. We couldn't do it to him. So, we take one special room and move in there with him. We take care of him for two weeks there. Take our absence from jobs, do anything to help him became better. Thanks to God, he is so much better now. Have a good job and be more open about his feeling. His doctor said his recovery is good. This is a long life journey. This is a new book. New life for my family. Don't care what other said about it, as long as my brother has a good life even with this diagnosis then that's enough for us. Trying to understand his point of view is our mission. I just hope someday his life partner (wife) will be the best kind of woman who accepts him, whole heart.

[@dheerajkamble2352]

You supported your brother and he is good and healthy now.Wish the same forever.

[@flowerainbowarisa]

@@dheerajkamble2352 thank you

[@shahadah1451]

Through my recent studies of Narcissistic Personality Disorder it has become clear that the family does carry a lot of the responsibility when members are diagnosed. This is at least true of depression and its many permutations. Mental illness runs in families.

[@SoLongSpaceCat]

Advocating for the person with the mental illness has been a HUGE one for us. Y'know, standing up for them even when they're not around to hear you doing it. I remember one instance almost 10 years ago where my dad and stepmother were having an argument (loud enough that I barely had to eavesdrop to hear most of it, lol) that had to do with my diagnosis. Eventually dad lost his composure and just yelled '[Space Cat's] mental illness is NOT a personal affront against you!!!' and that has stuck with me ever since, like yesss this is a safe person to talk to about this stuff

[@annee5582]

Yes, I feel all that above. I’m in this state right now… I especially do not like all the judgment attached to mental illness. There is judgment before you get treatment, during treatment and after treatment. I think one lesson that I learned during this journey is that it came to me at a time where I needed face judgement head on, become stronger because of it so I can help support the family member in the best way possible.

[@AT-fi9dj]

I’ve been told to disclose this information early in the dating process. I’ve had little success with this approach and now I believe the best approach is to take things slow and get to know the person and once they have a grasp of who you truly are they will be more likely to accept your mental health issues/ you clearly must be a very caring/compassionate person and must of liked her so much that you were able to look past this “issue.”

[@spasticcylorraine1356]

I was in love with a man with schitzophrenia for many years and we had a great friendship/relationship. I knew he had it before I met him or at least on the same day I met him and he was such a wonderful person it did not even seem an issue to me falling in love with him. In fact, I could not help falling in love with him because it was not possible. I still love him and am married to someone else (also with his own mental illness) because the friend with schizophrenia was not ready at the time. He regrets it now. But my point is just focus on being yourself and not on if you should or should not say. The people who care will still be put off no matter how late you say it. Also, previous to all of this my previous husband was diagnosed with schitzo affective disorder and I had two kids with him and I always knew he had it. Don't use tactics to get a girlfriend. Be a person. Nice people find love. It's not about diagnosis

[@AT-fi9dj]

@@therealmayac Sorry that you had to suffer so much! As someone who has had similar things happen I can understand how scary and helpless you must have felt. I’m glad you have a partner that sticks with you. I think the moral of the story is to let the person know who you are as genuinely as possible so they can grow to love who you are. Once they know your character the hope is they can love you in sickness and in health.

[@suzannealsop3394]

I appreciate your considerate thoughts on faith in this video. I have schizoaffective disorder and am a Christian and recently spoke to my vicar about this. He said for me to keep my faith and mental illness separate. I know for some people the two can overlap and I hope that this comment might be helpful for those navigating a faith and a mental illness 💚🙏

[@MissDaisy-jr8vt]

Please pray my BF Jacob Ryan. He went off his meds, I really don't know how to deal with it. He constantly accuses me of cheating, of sneaking someone in the bedroom, he searches the closets and when I cry he makes fun of me. His thoughts are so distorted from reality. He can be So MEAN :( I HOPE and Pray, that's all I have my Faith and Hope that Jacob will be okay, that he will get back on his meds. and keep this therapy sessions. We took sometime off, for both our mental health but I don't know if his keeping up with his Dr. appt. I's so hard. I miss him...

[@suzannealsop3394]

@Miss. Daisy I will of course pray for your boyfriend Jacob. I know how hard it must be for you to cope with this situation. My parents and my husband have found it very trying over the years when I have been ill but they just kept giving me their complete love. It is hard to love someone at their worst but this is the time that they need you the most. Don’t give up on him and just let him know he has your support. He has to be willing to meet you half way though and take meds or go to therapy, whatever helps him. It is important of course that your own mental health is not suffering. Remember also when he says or does hurtful things to you it is not him and just the illness talking. It sounds like he needs professional help at the moment. I’m not sure how much you are able to get it involved if he’s an adult? I know it is different in different countries/areas 💚

[@hecs.-]

I’m sorta in the same boat Suzanne, I’m still undiagnosed but I have an appointment to get checked soon. I started having psychoactive episodes when I use to do smoke marijuana & they would make me think really bad things about myself an also suicidal thoughts then it lead to me thinking others could hear my thoughts or as if I’m saying my thoughts outloud without my knowing so I self isolated and I’m still doing self isolation until my diagnosis but I had a big realization about it because I knew this wasn’t my normal way of thinking & that lead me to giving up smoking and all my other sinful ways.. so basically I turned to religion to help but I’m still alittle in the dark when it comes to what I’m going through & I’ve got to say I’m scared..

[@suzannealsop3394]

@@hecs.- Hey, trust me you will find your way and gain an understanding of the illness and yourself. Until you get a diagnosis remember you may only be having psychosis due to marijuana which may go away. I am not a doctor so you will have to see how medical people assess you. If you do get a diagnosis of this type of illness here is how I experience it. Over time I have better understood schizoaffective disorder and what I need to do to keep myself well. The first psychotic thought I ever had was that other people could hear my thoughts at age 17. I find medication, plenty of sleep and minimal stress are the main factors to keep me well but something else may well work better for you.I would describe the illness as difficult, strange yet also beautiful. Difficult to deal with at the time of psychosis, strange as not everyone experiences it and beautiful for the connections and empathy with others because of it. Don’t be scared. It is a beautiful journey if you can embrace it. As for faith; I consider the illness not of God as in itself it is of course not a good thing but as a result of the fallen world Christians believe happened after the event in the garden of Eden. However, I have found it to be a blessing as it keeps me humble and have more empathy for others. I also volunteer in mental health and have done various things for the cause which I love. So for me it has been a blessing in disguise if you like. Since becoming a Christian 3 years ago the faith aspect is a help for me since it is spiritual sustenance and gives me strength to deal with whatever is happening in my life or the world. It is healthy to pursue pure things as you have described if we can since it is better for us physically, mentally and spiritually but being human it is not always easy. God understands our struggle and if you have a faith in Jesus he says if you bring it to me I will help you with your struggles for ‘my yoke is easy and my burden is light’. I pray that these words of my experiences might help or encourage you in some way 💚🙏🕊

[@dreamcat9985]

This is really great, Rob. I shared it on my facebook page to my family and friends. I would love it if my dad watched this video. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything wrong with me, and I feel so good. Sometimes I feel scared of myself. It isn't easy having schizoaffective disorder, but we are such a strong and resilient tribe. Love to you and your family.

[@dheerajkamble6660]

My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2018. Being a younger son it was difficult for me to process the thought that something is wrong with her behaviour. When I took her to Psychiatrist he diagnosed her with schizophrenia. I was unable to accept the thought that mother is schizophrenic.The anti-psychotics had a much bad side-effects due to which she discontinued the medication. Then it became worse.she started hallucinating and had delusions more worse than before. In December 2020 again due to family insistence she was on medication but again in April 2021 due to side effects of antipsychotic she discontinued medications again which she was taking for last 5 months. I saw Lauren's video on antipsychotic injectable,s and this time the prescription of my mother was updated to injectable antipsychotics after the psychiatrist was informed about lack of complaince for oral medications. At present she is fine. Your and laurens video are very informative and helped me cope and gave me the information I needed to go bravely through my worst time after my mother was diagnosed.

[@thelegendkillersshittyduff1335]

I know how you feel hopefully things get better

[@illarirawr9494]

A lot of time the withdrawal from the drugs is worse than the initial symptoms and the withdrawal makes people wig out. People often trigger acute withdrawal by stopping their drugs cold turkey rather than tapering off slowly over the course of 1 year +.

[@sandranorum6125]

You are the perfect exemple of what a partner should be like when it comes to mental illness! Supportive, accepting, understanding and kind. I’m so glad that you guys have each other! ❤️ I don’t have schizophrenia, but I do struggle a lot with mental health, and having a supportive partner/family makes all the difference in my life. It angers me so much when people say ”they’re just not close enough to God”. What a way to invalidate someone’s actual illness. I can’t stand it. Believe all you want, but don’t use it as a weapon, don’t use it to bring down your own family members! Follow your own religious texts and leave the judging to your God. Seriously. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@spasticcylorraine1356]

Yeah. Yeah to all of this :(

[@maraamelino8445]

My boyfriend and I both have mental illness. Since I started watching your videos we have been openly talking about our symptoms.

[@oliae2898]

Thanks for this video, Rob. My dad has been dealing with a severe stutter since he was a child. It was always extremely difficult for me to accept him when he stutters in public and people stare. Your video is a good reminder that loving your family well needs to be a priority.

[@SN-XZ]

Hi Rob, you are great. Lauren is so lucky to have you. Of course I believe Lauren must be a great parter to have as well.

[@isabelabakker3400]

thank you and lauren for sharing your experience with us. my dad has schizophrenia and i have a hard time accepting he is not who he used to be. i have problems with mental illness myself (i suffer from bpd) and living with him is just awful to me, we never get along, and ever since i was 13 i feel like i'm mourning my dad's death. he doesn't accept that he has an illness and it just make things worse. there's nothing i can do i feel like, but i'm glad i'm not alone.

[@najlabrewster6444]

Thank you for sharing! I love the level of transparency on your channel! I appreciate how open you guys are, it’s extremely helpful and healing. My son has schizoeffective disorder. It’s been a rough journey. I understand that the more I educate and enlighten myself, the better I can support him.

[@jmk1962]

Great video Rob. I love how articulate both you and Lauren are and how supportive you are towards each other.

[@roseannerichardson3478]

I am legal Guardian to my brother, he has paranoid schizophrenia. I recently became thus so that he would not end up homeless as he lacks some insight into his illness and how it's affecting him. I don't think my situation that acceptance is the problem...but it is on his side. I've watched him for almost 20 yrs go in and out of jails, ERs and facilities because he's been unwilling to take medication voluntarily. He's lost countless homes, he's injured himself and he self medicates with alcohol. We've accepted his diagnosis but he hasn't fully. I pray for my brother and I want him to have a life. Know that with schizophrenia, there can be a resistance to remain well for so many of those afflicted with this illness. I'm glad that some people struggling have found their way and made the decision to manage their illness...however...........Know that there are often MANY families doing all that they can to help and be accepting but when the person with the diagnosis refuses to care for themselves it can be a continuous roller coaster for all involved. As a nurse, I see my share of many patients and their families struggling. Yes, it's a terrible illness but I think the reason that often families cannot handle it is because the legal and medical system make it extremely difficult to be a help... unless something terribly tragic happens.. I will never give up in my brother, I love him and I tell him that. He's got to get to a place of acceptance in order to work towards rebuilding his life. Thank you for sharing your views and for the work that you all do

[@allcatz]

I'm a parent of a (now adult) child who has schizoaffective disorder. Yes, there is grief for that what might have been and the loss of the dreams one had for that child. I did a lot of reading and research on the condition and I am grateful that my child is doing as well as possible. I know she there are bad days and I really feel for my child regarding the trials this condition causes.

[@justinesantiago3820]

Thanks Rob! You added to my closure of dealing with heartache ^_^ I never really lost something I never had. I also donated to your patreon for a year. I hope you are doing well as a supportive family unit.

[@hkswear]

Thank you for this gentle and thorough overview. The more people can understand that this condition has been part of the human experience since the very beginning, the more acceptance, accommodation and healing will rise up for everyone.

[@aziraphaleluvr]

my recommended page has been a bit specific lately. While my mom doesn't have schizophrenia, she does have crippling bipolar and depression disorder so this helps a lot. Thank you.

[@gerryryan1372]

Hi Rob, I remember when one of my clients felt they were better now so did not need to take his medication any more. Sadly when unwell would carry out what the voices said. So I used diabetes to explain how important it is to continue his medication the same with diabetes. I had great trust with clients. Which I think is really important. Just by us having a conversation and using the ups and downs of diabetes and the then fact I'm going back 16 years ago. Not using jargonestic words he understood and continued to take his medication as he had an illness that would not go away so continued to be well and lived a happy fulfilled life. This was about 20 years ago xx

[@jrhuda4312]

Oh my gosh! I love you!! You are so strong and supportive and helpful for Lauren and the whole schizophrenic community!

[@vivienleigh4640]

I read your post about becoming a parent suffering from mental illness. My husband's support has been crucial - even more so when we became parents. He's been, and still is though our son's moved out to go to the university, a wonderful parent, a wonderful father - and in spite of my mood swings (I've been diagnosed with BPD and depression long time ago) my son knows he's loved and when there's something bothering him he comes to me. When he was a young kid, he and his father were a team, I didn't have the strength to be "the rock" but my husband took that role. He never once blamed me for not "doing enough". My Mom, on the other hand, when I told her that I felt a bit worn out, said "You should've got a puppy instead". Yes, she had a talent for being mean - she still does but today, I'm 55 years old and she's 75, she knows that she has to "behave" or I won't call her. She's become more smooth around the edges because she needs me more than I need her. You often talk about accepting support from your loved ones. That's not always possible. However our son is a living example of that it can be done. He's thriving even though he has a mother that doesn't always keep it together. I still feel guilt for not being his father.On the other hand he had a father. Today I can say, and my husband too, "We actually did a pretty good job", we complemented each other.

[@aminawood1737]

Thank you Rob. This is so helpful for those trying to grasp this terrible disease. After 13 years my son who is now 30 is seemingly accepting his illness and is doing well. There is always hope. It felt so hopeless for so long and there is at last some relief for the time being for him and those who love him. Just keep loving! ❤

[@jueeraut2742]

Hi. I have been following your channel since the last two days. I really appreciate the understanding between the two of you.. God bless you both! In our Indian society, there is a lot more stigma attached to mental illness compared to the west. I really feel our people need to be more open minded in this matter. As a healthcare professional, I have a good idea about the medical aspects of the illness Keep posting more videos. Stay blessed and safe!

[@madeleinep7103]

I think you spoke about this with such grace and compassion. Very good tips.

[@herrot1]

The thing about having any illness I believe is that once you become ill you lose a part of the confidence in your abilities that you had up until that point. And it's hard to regain that. When the illness is something that you don't have a clue how to fix it can becomes even harder. Well sometimes some things go away on their own with enough rest and time.

[@barbaranavin3587]

Excellent Ted talk, Rob! I think you gave a really good overview of the emotions that we feel as family members. Our loved ones need someone to walk with them as it can be very lonely navigating their experiences. I am involved with NAMI National Alliance on Mental Illness and we have chapters throughout the US. We conduct educational classes as well as support groups for family members experiencing exactly what you speak of. Thank you for adding to the conversation. Our goal is always to wipe out the stigma associated with these diagnoses. The more educated and empathic the support system is, the more likely our loved ones are to seek out and stay in treatment and live a life in recovery.

[@caroleslagle1251]

I thank God for you both. I’ve lost one son to a real death at 27 and I lost the other to a mental illness. I’m 69 and have to keep working to provide for both my 47 years old who was diagnosed with schizo schizoaffective disorder a year and a half ago. But don’t feel sorry for me. I can do what I need to do. But I just want my son to have peace. The torment that he is going through is breaking my heart to watch. We’re in the early stages as you probably could figure out. He is still in denial. He’s my son so I’m still adjusting. Im 69, still working and managing my own medical conditions for my age. That’s all we. But I just want my son to have peace. Please keep us in your prayers and keep sharing the videos with me because I have no one else but you. With my spare time lol,……I will be seeking help. But as of yet there is no extra moment in my life to do so. Thank you for helping me to understand what is going through so I can say there for him, being kinder, being more understanding, and being able to help. Him

[@thecommonsensediet8619]

Nice upload, thanks for sharing! Have a calm and relaxed day! Stay healthy and safe! 👍😊🍓

[@BioShrog]

You guys give me some hope, as I often feel like I will never find someone whom will accept me and my Schizophrenia.

[@spasticcylorraine1356]

Focus on being a person who someone will like not on finding someone who will accept your diagnosis. Schizophrenia does not make you unloveable. I loved someone for years with it and it was never even an issue for even a micro second

[@BioShrog]

@@spasticcylorraine1356 I shall try. :)

[@LorraineIwakashdan]

My brother was schizophrenic, my first husband was had schitzo affective disorder and then I loved someone so hard for years who was schizophrenic. It's not the illness. It's the person. The subject of his illness never came up once. Actually, it came up once. I asked why he had to watch a fi!m in the evening. He said because of he does not watch a film he hears voices. Unasked about that. The conversation on schizophrenia lasted about half hour max and came after years of relationship. We never talked about it again. We had so many other things to talk about. It's not an issue in a real relationship unless it's a huge issue to you. To him it seemed to be coincidental. Take care or chat some more of you like?

[@adinalopez2050]

Lovely video. It is very hard for everyone in the household for a love one to have a mental health issue. You pin pointed it, by everyone getting educated. If everyone is on board with understanding what is going on then it is possible for the family to be more accepting. And we are humans, everyday Is not going to be a perfect day, it’s ok to be frustrated and have doubts. A you said, we have to consider what the person with the diagnosis is going through. As they say, “we think we have it bad, there is always someone who has it worse”.

[@Ketobabe88]

Thank you for shedding light on these issues. I suffered symptoms for a year before my diagnosis. What I needed from my partner was acceptance and compassion, it's yet to come

[@drakecarter1780]

More power to you. I couldn't handle it.

[@shuyung1]

How nice, Lauren is blessed to have you

[@Valentina_Salas18]

I feel I'm saving this to send my husband's family and friends because they're the ones who won't accept this and my husband itself has the issue with accepting the diagnosis

[@ilustralilian_]

Yes. I totally understand. My mom has problems to understanding that I can’t control my mental illness (I’m bipolar, borderline, agoraphobic, have anxiety, panic attacks etc. Funny that panic attacks she understands. And maybe agoraphobia because she has a bit of it. She doesn’t comment, but she doesn’t like to even go to the market or the bakery alone). I used to go for her, but now I got really physically sick and I can’t go out alone. Anyway… In the beginning I know that she felt a lot of guilty. Because my autoimmune diseases are mostly genetic. But, really, it’s not her fault. And she doesn’t want to understand more than she does. Particularly the mental health issues. And OMG how many times I heard that depression was that I didn’t have God in my life. I reached a point that I stopped praying because of this. So it kind misfired. Difficult.

[@sharonmchugh7730]

It's got nothing to do with God; it is physiological

[@teresastaggs7923]

There are plenty of godly people in the Bible that struggled with depression.

[@spasticcylorraine1356]

My mum had gaslighted me all my life about illness. I love my mum to death and have a good relationship with her now but she really is the centre of her whole life. Never give up. Never stop loving but protect yourself at the same time.

[@knitou]

We parents have expectations about our children. And such a diagnosis means that we have to change everything: way of living, way of thinking, way of dreaming... And that makes it hard to accept the truth for what it is. Still, love prevails. And you learn how to dream... differently. Thank you for the video! ❤

[@nataliehast3392]

This is so important❣️

[@Ashley-Bradderz]

I have Paranoid Schizophrenia and acceptance is a hard one, there’s self acceptance about the situation I live in and how my life is going to be like, iv met a few people who are shocked or surprised by my reality and what I live with, my Grandma was upset hearing my diagnosis but she’s very supportive, sometimes people check on me a bit too much like I’m being assessed each day but iv noticed less of that since my coming out in December 2020. It’s rare for people to be uncomfortable to be around me but iv met them. Stigma has to be the hardest part when I’m experiencing hallucinations and concerned about delusions, will people still want me around? I’m at peace with myself and my illness but I still worry about stigma from others even if I get mostly supportive people rather than those who’d ostracise me for my illness.

[@yelenarotar2307]

I’m sorry 😢

[@sharonmchugh7730]

Let's keep breaking the old patterns of Stigma 🌻

[@harrieta6961]

You are totally amazing with great insight. Good luck with baby theo 💙

[@kathylindstrom3133]

Hey Rob, thank you and Lauren for sharing your stories. Thank you Lauren for your strengths to share your life with the world. I recently entered a relationship with someone who I believe has the mental illness of schizophrenia. Unfortunately, he has not been diagnosed since he doesn't quite believe yet that he has a mental illness, although he feels like he is losing his mind. Because I am a partner of someone who experiences delusions and such, I find Rob's words and experienced expressed in his videos to be very helpful for me. Your closing statement about acceptance being a journey really hit home as I am wondering if I have the strength for this relationship I've started. It's scary, but I also know that "my man" is so loving and kind and caring and that he and I share many values. I'm doing what you said in educating myself and trying to take care of myself too. So thank you very, very much for helping me through this journey with your videos. God bless you!

[@fjellyenta]

I love your videos! My Beautiful son was diagnosed with schizophrenia a couple of years after he started getting sick in his senior year of high school. He is doing great today! 😊 I remember feeling I lost my son when he started getting sick. He is still with us but just different. I so appreciate that you are talking about this and educating us all. ❤️

[@mrholmes8]

Lauren and Rob you are an inspiration to me. My girlfriend and I both struggle with mental illness and we want to start a family too. Thank you.

[@leslierogan176]

Excellent presentation, this is we're educational knowledge via peer's both consumer & carer voice - alongside recovery college has helped in understanding.

[@PhoebeJones]

thankyou for this :) it's hard to accept my own mental illness never mind someone else's

[@TorgerVedeler]

This video is incredibly valuable. Thank you.

[@bluesky902]

so eloquent - thank you Rob.

[@selenah7750]

You two are so inspirational. ❤️❤️❤️

[@krystinamckiernan3192]

You two are so cute. Thanks for this video. I think another reason is fear of the unknown. As much as I have educated myself on my 19 year old's diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, I'm still a little on edge with thoughts like, "is this a sign he's slipping into psychosis?", "am I crossing the line of pushing him too hard or encouraging him". And, the hardest part I struggle with is if I will have to take care of him for the rest of my life. What if he never gets better? Will he attempt suicide again? Just scary stuff like that sets me back. Some days, I totally accept it. And, I love how you said that acceptance is a lifelong process. That really made me feel better for having bad days.

[@kathymarler1446]

I loved this! Helpful for me to understand better. I remember Lauren explained that it’s a disease like cancer or MS. When you have a loved one who is sick or has a disease, you would help them and go thru it with them. A person is not the disease. They have a disease. And getting to understand the symptoms of that disease like you suggest is so powerful and helpful. Knowledge helps you to be more accepting!

[@jessydraws3860]

I looked up a channel to help me better understand my husband's diagnosis with schizoaffective disorder, I'm also working at learning and understanding how to work with his system and be a better partner. Finding your guy's channel is helpful and informative in helping me work with my partner and help us work through and help me with understanding their diagnosis better.

[@llamammama1798]

When my son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 18, we were truly blessed that a friend was involved with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). We went through a 12 week class learning about mental Illness, the difficulties in getting adequate assistance, how to advocate for your loved one. He is now 30. He has embraced his illness and has been lucky enough that it hasn't progressed to the point of needing medication. I think one factor is that in our accepting the situation we gave him the space to also accept it. By his not fighting it it never became bigger than him. I realize that every case is different but regardless, it can be a smoother journey if you have the tools to navigate the ups and downs together. Knowing how to react to the ever-changing landscape you become proactive instead of reactive.

[@AnnuAparajita]

You all are amazing!

[@daibhi4860]

Thank you Rob for this excellent episode. You are one in a million. I'm attached to another one who readily helps me in my psychotic episodes.

[@niceguyfedoraCoD]

Thanks for this Rob, appreciate your insights! Hope all is well with baby. My partner says that they often will explain to the family member that they do not have a view of the inner workings of my illness but we do and that it’s important to listen to my experience. They also said that they will also sometimes discuss (with my permission of course) what the worst of it can be like, but of course than can be confronting and some people may not take to that technique 😬. In my experience, I’ve had family members not believe me because of their own ignorance about mental illness and the impacts thereof. I think education can play a part in fixing that, but that has to be a collective effort I think.

[@MPG-ub5ke]

You're a good bloke, congrats on your new bub!

[@glorias.2930]

You both are amazing! I really appreciate your perspective. This is the side we don't always hear but need to 💕

[@bevmelban4997]

Wonderful Video. Thanks so much for the good advice. God Bless

[@Lilysfur17]

You guys are the best! Thank you for sharing and educating, you're making a difference in this world!

[@j-a-k9585]

Thank You your veiw point and experience is a great resource for us. Time helps , sometimes after the cards are all laid out Time for your self to digest the person diagnose Quiet time to maybe start a journal of resources like a go to book Fill it with mental health organization Fill it with KZbin channels that give support and offer hope like yours Fill it with phone numbers that can help in say a crisis moment Basically try to build a support treasure chest, so you can feel like you can handle the ups and downs Being Prepared and Educating yourself can make you feel that you have a base . Try to separate the bad moments wirh the good moments. Don't let one mesh wirh the other.

[@wooh88]

You are awesome!

[@sharonmchugh7730]

Thank you Rob, i really find this so helpful, you are lucky to know upfront about Laurens medical needs, and the acceptance is there. I was raised with love in terms of 'religion' and so i would hope everyone too can be more open minded in terms of illnesses of the mind. They are invisible to many & can be hidden for years without proper treatment supports. This site has and will help so many growing up now to have compassion. Real compassion isnt about avoidance; it's about patience & basic human kindness. You have a beautiful family.

[@kms3063]

Thanks for the piece about parent guilt “

[@libbywarren6083]

You two keep doing what your doing. You are both so informative and helpful. Love seeing your perspective Rob.👍😊

[@manderse12]

Love this channel. This was a really helpful video. Thank you, Rob, for taking time to plan and deliver this.

[@avicohen3035]

Its the first time I listen to Lauren's husband. He talked about being emphatic, and imagining how things might be for her. I am glad Lauren has such a great husband. I don't have to worry about her anymore. He makes quite an impression on me.

[@saahibaalimzafir598]

i got a divorce from my wife on account that she was not accepting of my diagnosis. she kept referring to religion when I would express to her the way I was feeling. We never talked seriously about how my condition should be revered in the family dynamic. It was counterproductive to my "recovery."

[@stoneyvowell1239]

Willingness to understand is key. If you're not willing to understand yourself or your partner and there just is no relationship.

[@chivirtsengu]

Thank you so much for sharing your truth. I really needed this

[@lordfuzi7168]

This was really useful. Thank you.

[@TheFos88]

You both are amazing people and I learn so much from your content.

[@lisamanrique1770]

Incredible words, thank you!

[@SurfinBanana89]

You are doing an amazing job!

[@rpink8531]

The religion aspect gives me a lot of perspective and strength. But most definitely not 'a result lf a broken experience in religion'. Well said

[@tashabennor6209]

When you touched on bad parenting not being the cause of schizophrenia---😑😭😭😭 I feel so much shame for my dds diagnoses and her quality of life. So much "family" has left us already. We are so lonely! 😔

[@TheJoshuaJames]

Good, evil, and mental illness can all coexist in a person, it doesn’t have to be all of one thing, all or nothing.

[@nicolaodonovan]

Well said Rob, I can relate to some of what you said. Thank you for making this content.

[@stevec3872]

My daughter, who will be 30 this summer, had her first psychotic breakdown when she was 17. She has a maternal grandmother who had schizophrenia and so I liken that to a sleeping dog which may or may not wake up. Well my daughter got into drugs at about that age, alcohol and marijuana, nothing hard but enough to wake up that sleeping dog. She was originally diagnosed with schizophrenia but not it is schizophrenia/bipolar. We would have thought those dozen of years ago that by age 30 she would have graduated from college, had a career, maybe married with some kids of her own. But the disease swallowed that person whole and now we can only hope she can be the best she can be for her and she seems to be able to be happy and content without missing what might have been. She is currently in a mental health facility, a good place, and although it's just 45 miles from me because of the pandemic I have not been able to see her for a year and I'm her only support in this area. But hopefully we will be able to visit soon. She is on a state Chapter 51 mental health hold meaning the state controls her future and unfortunately she seems to have a breakdown just before her hold is reviewed so it gets reinstated again. But this disease thus far as swallowed up all the years of her young adulthood.

[@stevec3872]

@@MarietaDimitrovaD No, it's been up and down, sometimes good for months and then she would have a break. It was worse when she lived on her own because she would drink or do something that would precipitate a breakdown. She recently told me that she believes she has paranoid schizophrenia and not schizoaffective/bipolar. She definitely has a problem with paranoia. Her grandmother who had schizophrenia and was in an institution as a young woman as well eventually got better, well enough to the point where she could work and live on her own. She was somewhat eccentric and when visiting she would stay until she had enough and then just return home. All of us who have a loved one with a serious mental illness hope they will be one of the ones who gets well enough to go on to college and become a doctor or something and it's a good hope but really we should just hope they can be the best they can be, whatever that may be. My daughter has been happy with just working putting furniture parts in plastic bags.

[@stevec3872]

@@MarietaDimitrovaD My daughter's problem is that years of psych meds have pretty much trashed her short term memory so that simple things are all she can do now and is happy to be busy doing something and making a little money.

[@annagreco4490]

Hi Steve iv understood and feel what you have written

[@annagreco4490]

@@stevec3872 hi Steve iv just started to use vitamin b3 ...niacin can you tell me if you have tried this plse....

[@stevec3872]

@@annagreco4490 Sorry, I don't know what vitamins my daughter is taking for her schizoaffective/bipolar.

[@stevec3872]

Does anyone have thoughts about how hard this pandemic with its forced separation has been for loved ones with mental illness? I'm an hour away from my daughter who is in a mental health care facility but have not been allowed to visit her in over a year now and I'm her only support in the area. A year for her without even so much as a hug from a loved one. That would be hard for anyone but especially for someone confined to a mental health care facility. Both of us have been fully vaccinated for a couple of months now and although she is doing well we have not been allowed to visit although we talk on the phone often.

[@MarietaDimitrovaD]

You are very right Steve. Let’s hope the pandemic ends as soon as possible.

[@spasticcylorraine1356]

It's harsh.

[@AllieBolanos]

Yes this pandemic has really messed up a lot of lives. We weren't able to visit our kid when they were hospitalized either. It's heartbreaking and so very frustrating. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

[@lisamanrique1770]

Those that created this pandemic will never fully understand that they not only "infected" so many people in the world, they "affected" every single person of this world! We are confined from giving love and support to our loved ones that are in hospitals and facilities during most important recovery processes - even though those facilities have employees and patients going in and out constantly! The effect to a patient not able to have a loved one with them in time of need, can be devastating and deadly. And still, they refuse to allow visitation.

[@nancyracies8824]

My son's facility is 2 1/2 hours from me so it's a whole day to visit.

[@Ivorymoana]

I‘m so sorry your son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. My husband was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when he was 24. He’s 62 now. He worked at his job as a stationary engineer for 25 years, he was able to save a ton of money and retired early, we’ve been married 38 yrs, we have 2 married adult daughters and 4 grandchildren who adore my husband. I’m a nurse so In the early years, I was able to give him monthly injections of Prolixin because he went through a phase of difficulty with med compliance. He didn’t want to accept this disease, he felt as if he’d been dealt a life sentence. I completely understood. But he was receptive to me noticing when he was having psychotic symptoms and would accept my input. He’s only been hospitalized three times in 38 yrs. My point is, my husband was dealt a life sentence but he has managed this disease extremely well. He is higher functioning than most people I know. I’m very proud of him. Med compliance is so important. With my husband, I’ve noticed that even with good compliance, the meds seem to last about 10 years and then he’s put on a new one. My prayer for you is that your son will come to terms with the diagnosis, maintain good med compliance and live his best life. It is possible to live a GREAT life despite schizophrenia. Also I recommend very highly that you listen to Lauren’s video on vitamins that have been shown to help in treating schizophrenia. And any of Lauren’s videos!

[@thakyou5005]

I'm not even watching the video, I already know what it is about by reading the title. I was in the same boat, once. My ex had a mental illness, but believe it or not... that made me love her so much more. In fact I was ... obsessed... with her. Until she left me.

[@KJensenStudio]

Very important video, as they all are! First hand experience really helps those out here cope with this illness that has been so stigmatised in society. Thanks for that. My daughter was recently hospitalised for, like you said 'major depression with psychosis', and is now ending a week of intensive hallucinations, but not accepting that she has a mental illness. It seemed to just have struck out of the blue, though I see now this must have been going on for some time, and I didn't understand it. Do you know if schizophrenia can just come on, or is it always there and just surfaces when conditions are condusive to it? Thanks again.

[@ruthanneluvsvacuuming6653]

With some mentally ill people family doesn’t except them because something could be okay right now but maybe not later or tomorrow and you never know what kind of a reaction you’re going to get from them