Why do bad things happen to good people?

[@Bodhi203]

“Meaning of life is to give life meaning” When I was 19 years of age, I was diagnosed with blood cancer which spread to my lungs from lymph nodes and my life turned upside now. The cancer treatment put me in remission, but the whole experience gave me immense trauma and fear, enough to take most of my 20s - due to dread of “it’ll return” & “why did this happen to me” - and countless similar thoughts. I’m a year older than 25 now, and in a better state relatively, biggest difference is that I now realise that there’s *NO PATTERN TO LIFE*; things happen randomly, and *LIFE OWES US NO EXPLANATION* - for the good or the bad - being religious allays a lot of these troubling thoughts (I’m not & in process of discovering what suits me best), but the way, the only way you can be at peace is by being like a *LOTUS*, which glows beautifully amidst the muck. This is probably a reason why early Buddhist for the first 100-200 years depicted Buddha as a lotus, when they eschewed idolatry. And the only way one can accomplish it by *“giving meaning to our life”*, the same way meaning of lotus’ life is being beautiful, unfettered by the muck it is growing in. Undetached effort everyday, however little it may be, to improve, while being accountable to the inner conscience and “good” would come eventually - have seen happening to people in real life and thus I believe in it. However, it is must to somehow make all of this enjoyable (even if little bit), life should not be something you have to suffer. This line of thought provides me succour, and bolsters self belief, but a regret I have is wasting so much of my precious youth to the anxieties which still plague me. I’m not perfect, but will put an effort to improve. Thank you for making this video , it reinforced my self belief. I wish I had a friend like you in person (I don’t), with whom I could talk freely about such matters and get wisdom to not get astrayed. I’m one of your early subscribers and love seeing you finally grow & reach more and more people.

[@acceptingtheuniverse]

Continue on your path and soon we will all be looking to you for insight into a life well lived. You can write to me whenever via: [e-mail] Thank you for sharing this.

[@Bodhi203]

@@acceptingtheuniverse thank you for your kind response :)

[@honggaugauu]

"The meaning of life is to give life a meaning. You must not dare to ask life to give you what its meaning, you must answer that. You don't ask. You answer." This one hits really hard on me. Thank you for giving me great perpectives. You words is amazing as always. I am so grateful to find your videos!

[@coltonbrylski6797]

The original is a Chinese Fable: Many years ago a wise peasant lived in China. He had a son who was the apple of his eye. He also was the proud owner of a fine white stallion (horse) which everyone admired. One day his horse escaped from his grounds and disappeared. The villagers came to him one by one and said: “You are such an unlucky man. It is such bad luck that your horse escaped.” The peasant responded: “ Who knows. Maybe it’s bad, maybe it’s good.” The next day the stallion returned followed by 12 wild horses. The neighbors visited him again and congratulated him on his luck. Again, he just said: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.” As it happened, the next day his son was attempting to train one of the wild horses when he fell down and broke his leg. Once more everyone came with their condolences: “It’s terrible.” Again, he replied: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.” A few days passed and his poor son was limping around the village with his broken leg, when the emperor’s army entered the village announcing that a war was starting and they were enrolling all the young men of the village. However, they left the peasant’s son since he had a broken leg. Everyone was extremely jealous of the peasant. They talked about his sheer good luck, while the old man just muttered: “Who knows. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad.” Source : erraticus.co/2017/12/27/its-okay-we-never-know-whether-something-good-or-bad/ I have always respected religious people for that reason. They have found meaning, and they want to share that with others. Good video

[@NorthernPear]

The first time I heard this story was in the children’s book, Zen Shorts by Jon J Muth. It’s about a giant panda named Stillwater who befriends three siblings and tells each of them a story. Stillwater tells the older brother this story of the lucky/unlucky farmer. It was great to hear it in the video. These stories can help anyone I think. Whether it’s Accepting the Universe or a giant panda these ancient ideas keep churning up. The Stillwater books by Muth are wonderfully sweet and deep and beautifully illustrated with the author’s watercolors. I highly recommend them. 🐼

[@blank_earth]

I was a child of a narcissist parent, I came from a very difficult life with him, and was homeless with him for a very long time in the past growing up. I managed to escape him, and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I was lucky to have known the people that had helped me and allowed me to stay with them. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet. They flew me in first class to go be with them. At first there was this honeymoon period, they thought of me as a gift from grandma that passed away. But what seemed like a gift from the universe, only turned into something that had psychologically wounded me. I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they seemed to have been to live with, and now strict and conditional their love and regard was towards me. I felt like I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am, or that I had to constantly fit in to their idea of how I should live my life and be like to them. I felt like I was some kind of flawed and inadequate kid. I would hear them say things like “but he wasn’t raised that way!” “oh it’s just gonna take time”, “I just think he just wasn’t raised properly” …and it felt like I had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I don’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. To this day I feel this deep, inner wound of rejection and unworthiness that I carry each and every day. My aunt would ask this weird question “what are the advantages that you think you have of being here?” but in my mind I’m like ‘I didn’t come here just so I can gain some kind of material advantages, I came to have a life here with my family just like any other kid would with their families’. But I just told her “I don’t know” , and she replied “then why did you come live with us honey?” and she didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and said “why not come stay here?” I had unfortunately received some invalidating comments from others that I’ve tried to speak to about my trauma, they’ve said things like “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and another person said “you don’t seem to realize that you’re wanting a warped and distorted image of your family” “you are not your brother you’re not their kid” and I’ve basically been labeled as having some kind of “sense of entitlement”. So for a kid or young person to have an innate desire and need to have a family home or to simply live with his or hers own family they would have a “sense of entitlement”? What kind of cold world do we live in? Isn’t every kid or young person deserving of what I believe to be the most basic, simplest thing that any young person could have, which is a family home, or to simply live with one’s own blood relational family, in a home? With parents, caregivers, siblings, etc? Shouldn’t it be like the norm and standard for every kid or young person? But for some reason, I’m being considered by some people as like bad, evil or reprehensible for trying to have that with my own family? I tend to think if my friends can live with their families, why can’t I live with mine? I once had a former friend who I thought would always be validating of my trauma, but he one time went against me and invalidated me and said; “Well they raised your brother! They raised him and not you so he’s their kid!” and he laughed at me. And so after some years later I came to figure out, that perhaps the reason why I was treated the way I was treated by my family, was all because they raised my sibling and they never raised me. I can’t believe that, I went through that whole process, of getting away from my father, and finally got to be with my extended family and my brother that I never got to grow up with since we were born, and after going through such a nightmarish life with a narcissist father, only for it to, pretty much, backfire on me? all because ‘they raised him and not me’. So in order for a kid or young person to live with his or hers own family they have to be born and raised into it? And it’s unfair to me how my brother got to have what they called a “privileged life” while my life and upbringing got robbed by a toxic father. I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said ‘how in the world can you not be allowed just the same if not more’. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their two boys, I wanted that with my family and my brother. It’s incredibly sad and disheartening to me that, I go to my family expecting all the love and care in the world, only to seemingly be met with sort of the opposite, I just don’t understand that if they can love and care for one kid all of his life why can’t they do just the same for the other? They bought a condo and now my brother is living in it for free… We never chose our parents. and I never chose this life…

[@starryamity33]

Just last week I typed this same thing in a different way to myself about how the value of a life is often made out as though it is predicated on the amount of pleasure/happiness experienced, when the truth is that even the most painful/sad life is worthy of being fully experienced - because all lives hold innate value, happy or not. The point is to be in it as fully as possible and integrate the lessons from it by remaining curious and open to recieve what we are given. The way we falsely equivocate ourselves and the world to our own thoughts and feelings in response to or about pain/bad and pleasure/good, is what causes suffering. If we had no resistance to what is happening inside and outside of us in accepting it for what it is, while still making the choices that we are drawn to make intuitively, we would always recognise that we are safe no matter what happens - in that we are not our thoughts, feelings, bodies, etcetera.

[@DannyWJaco]

Thanks for this. Great wisdom. 👍🏼

[@leche2905]

i'm very thankful that youtube recommended this to me. This changed my perspective

[@kamivenus753]

I don't know how I stumbled onto this video , but I'm glad I did, this was amazing especially that story!

[@sophia5808]

Thank you for this. I love how calm it is, like I am sitting next to you

[@kamivenus753]

Agree a peaceful sitting

[@vankoutedar]

I found your channel a couple of days ago and I watch your videos every day. In one of the most difficult times in my life, lacking safety on every possible level - I turn inside to find meaning. My mind is a clear sky and then turns into a thunder the next moment, till I put together myself again and climb a bit higher up that mountain. I am not hoping for a top with a great view, I am focusing on learning to climb and maybe even on finding it enjoyable. You are voicing all the mess in my head so calmly and eloquently, that it finally makes sense. It helps me trust myself and that I am on the right path. It also feels like receiving much needed empathy from a friend from far away. Thank you for all your work. If you ever feel doubt about your own path, remember that what you are offering might help someone in a place far far away to find their way up. I wish you all the best in your life.

[@CatsInHats-S.CrouchingTiger]

4:49-5:11 I love the rock analogy. Imagine saying this every time it rains. It’s going to perplex listeners, but it’s wonderful to get us thinking about what we are placing emphasis on. Even judgements can be misplaced because of our own application of insight. Life needs to play out the motions, doesn’t it? Yet the very importance of our existence is to create our meaning. Living, existing can truly be an art form when we involve ourselves. If we watch the world, we miss our participation in all things, but it can be enjoyable once in a while for some, to indulge watching the world go by. Your discussion on the various forms is wonderful and thought provoking! 🙏

[@suneeta1090]

Amidst the noisiest world u whisper the wisest words🎉to keep the soul afloat i must listen to u..🎉

[@liminalspace-vz9hn]

thank you for this , i was looking for an answer couple of days ago tryna figure out the spiritual or secret meaning to illnesses and misfortunes that happens around me to innocent people, to children!!! we just found out my mom has another brain tumor and her health hasn't been the best. as someone who's trying to be more grounded present and accepting, trusting. sometimes i find it hard to pray and to be at peace with that fact especially how nice of a person my mom, extremely gentle playful soul never in my life have i seen her complain or talk bad about anyone and i was just in a fuss yk it made me question everything i believe in .

[@manzar42]

i have vicktor frankle's small book on my shelf for a while, i will read it now that you have spoken about it so eloquently!

[@Peacebewithyou-lc5xb]

I believe bad things happen to everybody. The difference is good ppl acknowledge it, bad ppl don’t care and expect it. That’s why it comes across like good ppl are more unlucky!

[@clairjunior5291]

Are you for real? I’ve been looking for an answer to this question for a long time. Today, you validated some points that I needed to hear. This was a gift from universe. Thank you!

[@FloraParrish]

This night I thought about ending it all, but one question that my psychologist asked me (to think about what is pushing me away from God/religion) made me take a shower and go to bed. Unable to sleep, tearful and restless with all the shit that fell on me in less than a quarter, I remembered this video of yours that I always pass by. Why do bad things happen to good people? In fact, you're right, lately I've been losing the meaning of life. I will read the recommended book. The story about the horse farmer brought me back to myself little by little. And when you said "you are you, you are not your problems, you are not what people did or said to you, you are you" that was what made me cry with relief and fully go back to my body, back for me. My ex, my last best friend, two other guys I almost had a relationship with and my own kin, so many people who walked out of my life telling me the most disgusting, nasty things and humiliating insults, everything they said when all I did was be gentle and put limits on certain things, suddenly out of my shoulders. I'm not what they said, I'm me, just me. Shit happens and that says more about themselves than it does about me. Thank you for the message and for helping me sleep better tonight. I believe that the answer I will give to my psychologist is that it is something close to why I am looking for a meaning in life that was not written in an old book as a rule. You always have so much wisdom and bring so much calm within you in your videos that makes me hope to meet people like that in real life. Love from Brasil 🇧🇷

[@acceptingtheuniverse]

Thank you for your kind words and for being kind to yourself too. These videos are for you.

[@ESO888]

Thank you for making a video on this exact topic! This is something I discuss all the time & helps me reel my awareness back into my being. I used to have such a narrow view on things going on. Now viewing through an ‘everything is neutral’ lens has gifted me so much peace of mind. All experiences are just that, experiences for the consciousness to experience. Love the channel 🫶🏻💕

[@Storm_.]

The horse / son lucky/unlucky story is from Chinese philosophy (Daoism) and specifically from the Zhuangzi (I think!) I've been following / studying Daoism for a few years and now you are bringing me into Western philosophy in a way I've never been able to do before. Thank you!

[@sitting_chair4962]

Very nice video. I don't know how long you've been making videos but if you keep this quality, you'll be sure to grow as a channel. I'll be reflecting on how the "good things happen to bad people" mentality connects with having meaning in life for the rest of the day!

[@elyssian6015]

Very Grateful & Appreciative, Thank you for inspiriing & reinforcing my prespective about self.

[@vanodyssey1659]

Such a great delivery. Answering questions but at the same time making me ask more.

[@playfulsteps9249]

Choosing to learn instead of blame helps the approach you shared ❤

[@draganapasti_]

Thanks for your words of wisdom. They are simply clarifying pretty delicate "issues". Work like a "remedy" . Thanks for the recommendation to read V. Frankle. Such a great man & philosopher! ✨✨✨

[@yildiz9557]

I was exactly thinking the same thing earlier and said to myself maybe I should be bad like them so I won’t be hurt… although it’s not in my nature or one of my principles I live by, I’d rather prefer to be hurt than hurting but anyway we are all human and human is known to be weak before his emotions, challenges, life etc

[@Camille-23]

Great message thanks!!

[@Mayahealdiam]

I don’t understand tbh some people harm others innocent naive people and get so far in life . I was a good girl all my life and got bullied so bad abused and abandoned by my family, experienced homelessness my health got so bad for a while my bullies who hurt me in all kind of ways live an amazing life they bought cars houses at 26 while I’m starting from the scratch. It’s not fair and society keeps telling me to be a good person and that they’ll receive karma . Bad is when you inflict pain and take advantage of something and destroy in order to get better or feel better

[@D10S116]

It is the truth in today's times. Bad things indeed happen to good people.

[@markusdufner]

Thank you for this awesome inspiring content and wisdom for a deep understanding of life and whats going on 😊

[@theconsciousearthangel]

So true. It's all in our perspective and detaching from the outcome. It is only through getting real with ourselves and diving into the debth of ourselves can we finally wake up to our true purpose. Otherwise, everything else is an illusion.

[@sallyb3066]

[Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.] chapter 2 verse 216 quran

[@DorkDork69]

Knew he wouldn’t heart it

[@summerheart9834]

​@@DorkDork69 he hearted a different comment with a qur'anic verse, perhaps he just did not see this one

[@stillTK]

Amazing lesson, I’m gonna take this on board..

[@phrozen17]

Loving these videos like your earlier ones! Thanks!

[@lyes.official]

I have a genuine question, if you always have the mentality of "who knows what's good or bad" doesn't that rob the happiness and joy of success? Life is a rollercoaster of emotions but if nothing impacts you doesn't life start to feel like the world is just black and white?

[@eensio]

I agree: the question is provocative, because it is possible to happen good things to good people. My parents were religious and tried to give me heavenly babysitter, which punished if I was naughty boy. In reality the world is unfair. The heavenly dictator to keep justice is illusion. Thank you for video!

[@carriegaye3403]

I have never assumed that something bad couldn't happen to me, or to my children. I never believed that I or my precious children should be exempt. But to assign a 'meaning' to someone else's suffering is banal, even vulgar. If some people suffer and believe their suffering to have (spiritual) meaning then that's their personal truth, and it's to be respected. But making a dogma of our personal truths and applying it to the lives of others is not remotely respectful. In my experience there are multiple spiritual truths, and none of us has access to them all. My beloved daughter was murdered by her partner. I have never once thought, "Why her? Why me?" But that does not take away the agony. I understand that many people yearn for a profound reason that might explain the appalling things that happen on this beautiful planet. But there was no 'meaning' in my daughter's death, and there could be no 'good' outcome, such as that described in the story, which after all, involved thousands of other young men being killed in battle.

[@l.w.paradis2108]

Thank you for this. Of course you're right.

[@hmx10011]

Thank you for this.

[@KhatijaSacranie]

Thank you. The story is depicted in the book “When you hear hoofbeats, think of a zebra”.

[@Shofi.]

Iam going to sleep and watching this video at the same time 🕰️

[@mazarine_44]

I don’t understand how these thoughts are due to “narrow mindedness” or “lack of meaning”. Personally, I just got my dream job, I make good money and I love what I do. It will put me through college and open up doors to lifelong careers I enjoy. But I still live with my family. My mother suffers at the hands of my stepfather and I am stuck being mistreated and belittled by a weak, pathetic man with a family that hates him. It should be getting easier. My mother and I have persevered through everything together. Why am I stuck here feeling awful when I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. Do I just persevere for longer? Do I just watch my mother dissolve under his hatred and leave her to rot? Why am I forced to choose???? Why is it all on me???? How is this my fault when I was born into this situation????

[@montyturner6511]

I can understand this perspective.

[@WorldOfAnimals9]

Just be satisfied. One of the Islamic rule, it says that you should be satisfied for everything happens to you in your life, that is way Muslims people say “Alhamdulillau” (Thank good) at bad times before good times. You can learn more about this point from the Islamic view. + I enjoy watching your videos keep doing that 🙏🏼🤍.

[@pattheticc]

This is important. Thank you

[@RAJNOVA784]

Matt 5:45, John 16:33....it influences our lives today.

[@Deadphilosopherssociety]

There is a story very similar to this in rules for a knight but he says “we will see”

[@finplayz8642]

thanks for the video, please keep making more❤️

[@shivalimuffin9102]

I dont know if I agree or disagree, trauma from my past has opened my eyes to humility nd compassion but some trauma like loss of a child/loved one to senseless violence or the fault of ppl.who r in power gives no meaning

[@a.k.3775]

Many thanks from Berlin for this nice talk. I'm personally going through a very bad situation at work which has made me very depressed, but I decided not to quitt. Still, I'm not sure if it was the right decision?❤

[@EddieStyle]

I disagree that such a question is a "narrow-minded" question. It is one of the most profound questions out there. Why? Because our parents, society, religions - all point us to believe that karma exists, even if they are using words other than karma. But if karma exists - why do good things happen to bad people and vice versa? It is a deep question and the right question to ask.

[@motatheautist2225]

Confused

[@EddieStyle]

@@motatheautist2225 About what? :)

[@l.w.paradis2108]

I agree.

[@JHM386]

I fully agree....it is definitely not narrow minded to ask such a question...

[@DorMeles]

This arrived at the right time!

[@bambangtheo5640]

Good vs bad are actually real. The cause happens everyday. Made by man. We're the cause of bad and good things happened not because we don't understand others but we reject to understand ourself in others.

[@uuu098]

The universe owes us nothing. Instead of asking "Why did this have to happen to me?", ask "Why not"? See what answers you come up with. You realize it is irrational to believe that since you are a good person and try to do good things that bad things shouldn't happen to you. Humans have the gift of rational thought. Also, if you find yourself happy and content at any given moment, everything in your life prior to that moment had to happen the way it did to lead to that particular moment, so would you change anything?

[@kamivenus753]

The universe owes us everything that belongs to us (individually). because we are one with the universe and born of it. The question is what belongs to us and what belongs to others, which takes us back to the story of who knows what's good or bad!

[@lailaschwertlilie]

Thank you for beeing here!

[@dac6031]

Question is our innate bias towards negtive. We precive negative thing faster, and react to them, beacouse dangerous things could kill us. Today's media use that bias to keep us alert, without pause of reflection toward positivity.

[@cynthiamay512]

This is so beautiful. Wow

[@JHM386]

...But what if it's not the EGO or 'narrow-mindedness' that forces one to ask this question.... I'm not shy of hard work, so I have worked all my life and I'm in my 40s now, it's been 4 years since I lost my business and all my financial resources. Now I live under my partner's roof who is unfaithful but I cannot leave because I have no other option. She takes care of our kids but with very little regard for me and you can tell she and many others, my family included, absolutely love seeing my sufferings. How do I make sense of not being able to fulfill my fatherly duties even though I've been doing my best to get back on my feet...yet I'm still here....no home of my own, no money in my pockets...no resources to meet the daily needs of life. Please help me understand how I'm supposed to be ok with how things are at the moment, whilst also keeping a positive outlook and staying hopeful about a better future, even though I'm surrounded by this darkness. Please assist.

[@acceptingtheuniverse]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/r3a5maawi8t5eMk

[@l.w.paradis2108]

How do you know that the person who gave away his last piece of bread wasn't also the person who wailed and complained and was revolted by the injustice of his fate? I suspect they are often the same. I've seen a smaller version of it too often.

[@CR-yn5sy]

Also perhaps it is a judgement in itself to label a persom as 'good" or "bad".

[@cute7g467]

Super life changing done

[@DennisMC1974]

Great Video ❤❤

[@PoetlaureateNFDL]

Good perspectives. 😊

[@imjustvisiting5397]

Ahh the silliness of solipsism

[@DS40764]

We must remember too, that of course, that there is good /bad in life. We must have morals. But it is a philosophical question. Yeah, the question is kind of flawed ,as you described--- as it applies to how you described. What feels bad at the time may be like the "blessing"(I know a religious idea, but it applies) in disguise, and vice versa. Can I make a request that you speak louder?. I had trouble following you without headphones.

[@NimraSheikh-c4v]

Sent by one of my fav person❤

[@brendalhunt9720]

I’m confused. I have such anger problems with my boyfriend. We broke up yesterday. I started throwing things and yelling and angry when with him. I knew I needed to work on myself so I did. I think he was a narcissist. It was so hard . So I should have stayed with him so I could grow within??????? I tried

[@l.w.paradis2108]

No.

[@kalinamalina4492]

I'm happy I stumbled upon this movie

[@siilver1]

~20 July 2024 at 11:48 p.m. Saturday

[@andreajoy224]

11:47 👌✨🫶 thank you

[@l.w.paradis2108]

I know what's bad. When a nine-year-old girl gets her legs blown off, and from her hospital bed, she vows to become a doctor one day to help other children like her. Within two days, the hospital is hit by a bomb and she is decapitated. That's bad. If they let you read this, that's not only good, it's utterly astonishing. It's time to be grownups now. Posts like this do not need to be sanitized for your protection.

[@Mossdala]

Nice dad pose

[@kurisu3000]

God speed, Spider Man

[@giuseppeLizzi-rj3er]

The bad guy gets thrown down the black hole and he screams forever ♾ I’m not a bad guy if you love your mum you definitely not a bad guy but there’s lots of things that will never make sense to me like reincarnation and how it’s even possible and infinite worlds thanks giordano bruno for opening people’s minds

[@DannyWJaco]

❤

[@juliabugara3833]

塞翁失馬焉知非福

[@Roka-]

Listening this was relieving, thanks for the video🤍