Cultivating A Soft Life | Picky Girl Travels Podcast Season 4, Episode 4

This week Christine Job of ‪@FlourishInTheForeign‬ joins me to talk about the importance of being intentional when creating the life of your dreams.
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[@fdoctor79]

I absolutely LOVED this conversation. A soft life requires cultivation. Seed...Time...Harvest! It's not about what it looks like but what it feels like. Live your life and nobody else. So many gems! 😊 Tfs

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Yay! So glad you enjoyed it!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@dday3322]

Freedom to do what you want when you want is the ultimate version of a soft life!!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@Kattywagon29]

My mom is close to retirement and she is just now coming around to the idea that her time is her own. I say she gets to choose what she does with it. Yes, she still has to work, but she doesn't have to account for every second of everyday. She is a programmer and I remind her that she can't be 100% all the time. She needs time to think. She needs time to let her brain rest and her body doesn't have to wait until the weekend to do that. If she needs to take an hour in the middle of the day to take a nap, then she should do it. Sitting in front of the computer and not getting anything done, but still "working" serves no one and is not going to get her task done any faster.

[@carmelogiuseppe3805]

I think being selfish is being self full

[@magbstyle]

Such a great conversation ladies. That guilt is real. So much expected on the way your life should look. De-programming and giving myself permission to take the path of less resistance and being unapologetic about it.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

So glad it resonated!

[@lenorawilson2326]

This is very important, podcast because so many women needed to hear this. I am more determined than ever to make that move. I am so ready. I sat down a ran some fingers and the amount of money I could save by moving abroad. Staying here means I will stay stuck and broke and broken.

[@delle3955]

Wishing you the best on your freedom journey!❤

[@lenorawilson2326]

@@delle3955 Thank you 😊

[@ExquisiteKinkyCoils]

😊😊🤗 You are on your way heading to the life of your dreams! Enjoy every part of your new journey!

[@lenorawilson2326]

@@ExquisiteKinkyCoils Thank you 😊

[@Halonablack]

Beautiful episode. The backlash I experienced in pursuit of this soft life I have now has been real. But I’ve also wasted a lot of time worrying about it. The haters are really just people who feel boxed into lives they don’t want. Now I know that they’re really not thinking about me in the long term because they’re too busy managing the mess they’ve created in their own lives. I wasted time feeling guilty for leaving family behind, which has slowed down my own journey. All the cliches fit into this conversation - you only live once, life is not a dress rehearsal, etc. But I believe these things so deeply that I’ve learned that I have to protect my soft life at all costs. Truthfully, I believe my greatest responsibility is to myself. Everything exists to support how I want to live. And my living example feeds others who are seeking their own version of a soft life.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Hey Halona, thanks so much for listening! I agree with everything you wrote, you have to protect the soft life you've cultivated for yourself!

[@tracyardelia]

I love 💕 the "loner" mode I'm in right now. Was exhausted by constantly "explaining" myself kindly. I will tell ppl "I don't promote hard ish" or "problems." Give me lil bits to chew at a time. Problem solve n done. Burnout 😢 is a "mutha bleep."

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏽

[@dwalker6868]

Enjoyed thank you I am truly living the soft life. Grateful.

[@enyahargett4897]

Self awareness and reflection and therapy helps too! A lot of folks have deep seated, childhood patterns programmed. Once you realize it, you can start to change it.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

so true

[@enyahargett4897]

Soft life is requires cultivation and letting go. What a gem!!!

[@fullonlove-2237]

I just have one comment, and i hope it is accepted.... please ensure a safe enough atmosphere/space for the vulnerability that is required for a soft life. I was always naturally soft. Raised that way, naturally cultivated a space for such as an adult for me and my daughters(dad died when they were 2, 4, and 5) I decided to get engaged when they were in middle/HS, and that man tried to chew our aoftness up like it was tender beef brisket. I've never felt more unsafe, especially emotionally. Our peace definitely upset his demons. In such, hard became my way of life, then when i freed us, the next extreme was brokenness and fear. And in that state, everything else starts to come up. It has taken about 4 years to start to feel safe to feel soft again. Even though our home was free of him and safe our trauma, and what we'd become and carried within was not conducive to softness. We still needed that masculine energy for survival. So, please be mindful of the energy of the space you send your soft girl to. A soft life is a beautiful thing. 🤗 Safety, both internally and externally, is key💚💚💚

[@fdoctor79]

Wow, tfs. I heard someone say trouble doesn't last always but if not careful tramua can.

[@fullonlove-2237]

@fdoctor79 so true and it is not something you plan for. But, God.

[@storiedsoundscapes]

The amount of journal prompts I took away from this conversation. 🙌🏾 Thank you, Adalia and Christine! 🙏🏾

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏾

[@rayneparker7421]

Wow. Wow I’m tired I need a vacation vs I’m tired I don’t want this life is a big difference and it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling for so long. Others will call it “lazy” I call it living in my truth

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏽

[@denisechilds2391]

Exactly 💯, I definitely understand you. I'm going on vacation to Honolulu Hawaii for 2 weeks, and live a soft life, just me , myself and I. I will get everything together, and begin saving the coin..... nothing else matters, a soft life is resolute, for Denise 😊

[@tonyetheselfcaremaven]

Listening to this replay was both a revelation and confirmation for me. I typically balk at the word “soft” as it’s been marketed. This is definitely a more nuanced and fleshed out concept, especially from the perspective of black women.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Glad that it resonated!

[@zipporah5060]

Adalia, this was the episode I needed to hear. When you and Christine spoke about learning to un-become and the fact that you might be the anchor for someone else really hit home. Being intentional isn’t about only changing location, although that can also be a significant part. I really enjoy your podcast and the work that you are doing to help Black women to live the life that we desire and deserve.💖

[@AdaliaAborisade]

❤️❤️

[@ExquisiteKinkyCoils]

😊❤❤❤ITA!

[@adriennetravels]

Thanks for this. Sometimes I forget that about 75% of the life I have is actually what I designed it to be. Now, while I wish I didn't have to work at all, I always said I don't want to work more than 6 months a year and I am kind of close to that. This video has reminded me that I am on the right track. Thanks for that reminder.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You're most welcome

[@simi7248]

45:45 that's crazy. Valencia is one of my favourite cities. I wanted to settle in the old part of town but it got so expensive I was thinking of giving up... Maybe this whole conversation is a sign this dream is still within reach 🥲 ❤🙏🏾💫

[@carold2370]

Hi Adalia, I’m loving being intentional about cultivating my life going forward. I have been doing some work and it’s paying off so I’m going to continue with being intentional. I hope to see you in your upcoming financial literacy course too. I needed to change my mindset from forced retirement in 2020 and now I’m working on getting back in the workforce so that I can truly retire abroad! 🇲🇽 Please keep doing what you’re doing to help black women change their lives for the better! 🙏🏽🔥

[@dwalker6868]

I love her. She is so precious, smart and glows of a flourished life

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Aww thank you so much! This has made my day! So glad you enjoyed the conversation!!

[@justpassingthrough7437]

Thank you for this, Adalia! Thank you!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Any time!

[@simi7248]

16:08 wow! I have a law degree and I'm in Spain too right now 😅 I wasn't drinking wine but preparing lunch at 4pm because I just woke up from a nap 😂 I am going through these feelings sometimes... very relatable!

[@simi7248]

(And I'm not a Lawyer lol)

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

What brings you to Spain?

[@simi7248]

@@FlourishInTheForeign I'd like to settle here at some point :) I have been visiting a few different cities and so far Valencia is still my favorite 😍

[@jaderoyale-brown]

I’m listening to the replay of this episode and I enjoyed both of you because I can’t speak to anyone else but y’all definitely touched my toes and reminders about my soft life, setting boundaries and live in my best authentic/organic life. I look forward to moving abroad.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Yay! I'm glad!

[@misspam1828]

Thanks to you both for sharing these tools. I am excited and inspired.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Yay! So happy you enjoyed the conversation!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Our pleasure!

[@shewritesonwater4332]

Thank you so much for this video. The words that you and Christine shared reflected where I am in my life. It was a video I needed to see. Thanks again.

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

So happy you enjoyed our conversation!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Glad it was helpful!

[@christinecleavest9099]

This gave me such food for thought. I needed to see living a soft life with a whole new mindset; it is what I moved abroad for but wasn't truly living it...thank you!!!!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

You are so welcome!

[@carmelogiuseppe3805]

I love that answer as little as possible, I love living the soft life, it can be challenging to be in this posture, I think thats the part I love❤

[@feliciamcconnell7335]

What a beautiful conversation 💜 thank you ladies! I love all of this as it was so perfectly timed for my hearing! I am a subscriber but shout out to KZbin algorithms😄 This hit me in places I wasn’t expecting and revealed some hard truths😔 …like me “arguing for my excuses” in the name of being a “realist” 😏 Bull!!! Again, what an eye opener this talk was/is👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I appreciate y’all frfr!! I do have a secret fantasy of life outside of the US and think about it often! Having less years in front of me than behind me is really what gives me pause😌 but “cultivating a soft life” here is in the making!!!! Going to bed when I’m sleepy and waking up when I finish sleeping is my entry😜 and I’m exhaling all the time now🌼 Peace and Continued Blessings to you Adailia and Christine 🖤

[@hrhsophiathefirst4060]

Good conversation, love the idea of cultivating a soft life! I am so ready for that!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

🙌🏾

[@jeskadalizu953]

I just want to say thank you for your Podcasts, they are very informative.

[@AdaliaAborisade]

So you glad you're enjoying them

[@angelar.5683]

The video/conversation I need for the space I'm in! Thank you both for this. Trying to stand up for myself and the life I'm creating is so hard when people have so many expectations for how Black women should move in this world.

[@the_epileptic_wanderer]

This is really helpful!

[@comfortuanserume7850]

Thanks for another great podcast! I added Christine’s podcast to my list!

[@AdaliaAborisade]

It's a must listen for those planning to move abroad

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

Thanks so much! Check it out and let me know what you think!

[@comfortuanserume7850]

@@FlourishInTheForeign I love your podcast!!! I love that we are traveling and learning from each other!

[@FlourishInTheForeign]

@@comfortuanserume7850 yay! I'm glad!

[@malaysia1911]

Thanks for the video! Commenting for the algorithm.

[@Inunity2020]

Perfect timing. ❤

[@AdaliaAborisade]

Glad to be of service

[@BabydollTanner223]

NEEDED THIS TODAY ❤

[@LetsTalkAboutItWithMara]

This is a great conversation glad I found this live I have been thinking to myself I don’t want to just move thinking it will just solve my problems

[@AdaliaAborisade]

This podcast episode should be helpful in your journey as well kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z6qxhnd9oruqh5o

[@LetsTalkAboutItWithMara]

@@AdaliaAborisade thank you !

[@empress2020]

❤❤❤