Addiction Is Not The Problem - Heal Your Inner Child if you want to Quit Alcohol

Alcohol addiction may not be the problem and here's why...
Why your 'inner child' may be at the root of your alcohol addiction and how to deal with it. Learn to heal your inner child and why alcoholism is often deeply rooted in our childhood.
When I trained as a quit alcohol coach I learned all the tools, tactics and strategies to help anyone quit drinking if they truly desired it. More recently I have come to understand the link between our what happens in childhood and addiction and the huge part it can play in helping people successfully stop drinking.
We all have an 'inner child' and very often it has been left in a state of pain or hurt from past traumas, stress, hurt or anxiety that were projected onto us as children. I am not necessarily talking about sexual abuse or violence here, it can simply be from a parent who is always too busy to listen or doesn't give the emotional support, feeling of safety or comfort needed to feel emotionally secure and stable.
As children it can be easy to assume that when something is wrong it is our fault and we must therefore be a bad person. As we grow older we need to soothe ourselves and we often turn to alcohol as a solution, this is often combined with other behaviour traits such as over-achieving and people-pleasing.
There are almost always episodes of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) linked to alcohol addiction and sometimes the neglect can be hard to spot as it often comes down to what our parents (or siblings) didn't do, as opposed to what they specifically did do.
As we discover that alcohol enables us to suppress, blot out or avoid our past issues we drink more and more. An alcohol dependancy forms and before we know it we are caught in the dangerous cycle of addiction.
I have spoken on previous videos about my own experience of childhood trauma and how it sent me down a path of self-soothing and addiction to deal with an inner child that was left unstable.
When we are addicted to drinking it can feel like there is no way out, we can feel lost and hopeless, but this isn't the case...
There is a way out, we need to find peace with our inner child and work on getting sober using the tried and tested methods I share on my KZbin channel and in my quit drinking programme at www.joinbesobe...
Join my community and I will help you understand how to quit alcohol without the need for too much willpower.
📺 Check out some of my top stop drinking videos below:
1️⃣ Three things I learned when I quit drinking: • What I learned when I ...
2️⃣ 7 Tips for the first week of sobriety: • Stop Drinking: 7 Tips ...
3️⃣ How to stop alcohol cravings in their tracks: • How to stop alcohol cr...
4️⃣ 7 Big mistakes we make when quitting drinking: • Quitting Drinking: 7 B...
5️⃣ My story of quitting alcohol with before and after photos: • One Year Sober - My St...
My channel is dedicated to helping anyone who wants to change the way that alcohol features in their lives. I offer useful advice, support, tips and tactics to help create a long lasting change and to break free from the alcohol trap and end the cycle of addiction.
If you enjoy the content on my channel make sure you subscribe, there are new videos every Tuesday and Thursday.
You can also try my quit alcohol programme free for 14 days here: www.joinbesobe...
Simon Chapple
The Quit Alcohol Coach
www.besober.co.uk
#innerchild #healinnerchild #addictionandinnerchild #innerchildhealing #childhoodemotionalneglect

[@sebastianlujan8872]

hi there. Sebastian from Santa Fe, NM. Im considering joining your program. Just exploring what I get for my 20 bucks per month. Been enjoying your KZbin videos!!!

[@besober]

Hi Sebastian - take a look at www.joinbesober.com for full details of what is included - you get the first 14 days free so you can try it without paying. Hope to see you in the programme, Simon.

[@edwardjonathan689]

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[@sincereroger605]

@Edward Jonathan Instablaster ;)

[@edwardjonathan689]

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[@edwardjonathan689]

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[@JanetMcBrideMedia]

Finding you late in the game, Simon, but not too late. Your message on Inner Child and Addiction provides the answers to so many lingering questions that have haunted me. Thank you, sincerely

[@wfroedgern]

So much of this resonated with me, and I’ve done work in so many of these areas but when you said you always had to be the best at everything you did, my antenna really went up! I was just asking myself this very question today. Why can’t I just be average? I’m three years sober which seems like a long time, but some days it feels like the journey to healing never ends.

[@besober]

Hi Wendi - thanks for sharing, have you read the book abut Childhood Emotional Neglect called Running on Empty by Jonice Webb? If not, get yourself a copy and let me know what you think. You are welcome to email me at [e-mail] - Simon.

[@genuinsanity]

It sucks being human , no free rides.

[@rebeccavoymas2425]

Great video Simon! I also grew up being pushed hard and getting the message that much of what I did was not good enough. And now I have this pervasive belief that I am not good enough that is quite difficult to shake. Alcohol certainly doesn't help with those feelings of self-doubt and shame; it numbs the feelings for a short while and then ultimately the feelings pop up and are magnified! In some work I have been doing in my healing journey, I've uncovered a lot of little traumas that led to some very limiting beliefs about myself. I always thought that things weren't "that bad," but as I look at my past and things that happened and the connection to my beliefs about myself (which leads to self-sabotaging behavior over and over) I see those little things added up to reinforce those limiting beliefs!

[@besober]

Hi Rebecca - that makes complete sense, you should read the book Running on Empty by Jonice Webb and have a look at some of the KZbin videos by Gabor Mate about childhood trauma / emotional neglect and addiction, it is so interesting and I feel this area is overlooked by many of the alcohol coaches and sober speakers out there. They seem to just scratch the surface instead of get to the root of the issue, when we deal with this we find complete freedom.

[@scottwyckoff5483]

If you look at an eagle or a hawk, they are magnificent creatures regardless of their issues they deal with. You are magnificent regardless of what you think! Own it

[@grandmastermario3695]

Yes you are appsalutly right it's always caused by trauma but not everyone who has trauma Will become an addict but everyone who is an addict had trauma but if there were people that are addicted with no trauma then in my opinion those people just need to loosen the hell up but I think everyone who is addicted had something adverse or down right traumatic any kind of abuse including physical mental or r sexual being in war but could also be caused by things like abandonment neglect poverty been bullied domestic violence losing a loved one being injured or been in accident assaulted witnessed a crime separated from a parent in childhood a parent with a medical or mental disorder witnessing violence towards others having a parent with a criminal record or drinking problem having a life long or life threatening problem a parent not really being there anything that's traumatic or stressful really even having a very demanding job

[@besober]

Trauma takes many forms. I have a number of videos on this subject. I hope you stay subscribed to my channel to keep learning more. My website, besober.co.uk has lots of resources, that further explore trauma.

[@gerryreilly4479]

I'm a waster at 50 turned 50 last week I've been bullied threw my life

[@markg.4246]

The number one obstacle to achieving sobriety, is not being willing to take action. That's why some of these "change your thinking" programs are so popular. They are putting the cart before the horse. We have a saying in recovery, "Bring the body, and the mind will follow. From my own experience, that is absolutely true. If Michael Jordan didn't show up for "practice", he wouldn't have achieved greatness. Sobriety is no different. For the chronic alcoholic, all the knowledge in the world will never replace "living differently". After more than 27 years of continuous sobriety, my belief system has changed dramatically, but only because I was willing to take action concerning the root problem. "Self", not alcohol.

[@besober]

Thank you so much for your insights. 27 years continuous sobriety is truly impressive!

[@scottwyckoff5483]

Yes, heal the child within. I hold that child every time I hurt

[@besober]

Couldn't agree more, Scott!

[@genuinsanity]

It's true....the root of addictions.

[@gerryreilly4479]

My family fuckin drink yeah and here I am

[@juliauren1338]

Simon amazing pearls of wisdom and always so much has resonated with me. You are such a big help so grateful to you! A massive thank you

[@besober]

Hi Julia, thank you so much for the lovely comment. Really pleased to hear you are enjoying the videos. I hope you had a lovely Christmas!

[@persevere6326]

Excellent

[@jradders8113]

This resonates so much with me, thank you for the wonderful advice

[@besober]

Thank you :-)

[@martinahayes9251]

Thank you for this video. Have been working on this area with my psychologist and making progress. Its so important to dig deep. What is the name of the guru on this subject please? I got "Gabel Mattei" from what you said. Thanks Martina

[@besober]

Hi Martina - thanks for the comment - look up Gabor Mate - this is one of his videos about trauma from childhood and addiction: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZvUXohnaJxlbKc&t

[@scottwyckoff5483]

So true, we cover our feelings from our childhood in different ways. As we face it we evolve as humans 🙏 I am a work in progress we are all connected

[@besober]

Yes, 100% Scott. It is crazy how much our childhood experiences stay with us and impact out adult selves. Your own work in progress is the best type of work :)

[@gerryreilly4479]

Simon please help me

[@gerryreilly4479]

Simon tks

[@lisacee3237]

Do you feel that the wound you discover needs to be discussed with another person or just discovered & addressed?

[@besober]

Fantastic question, Lisa. I think it is very much dependent on the individual. For me, once I discovered the issue, it was so enlightening for me that I was able to make a real impact on my sobriety. However, throughout the journey, I have discussed with others if I am struggling for additional support :)

[@ramclaughlin59]

Who is the person you mentioned on You Tube that you listen to? I couldn’t catch the name.

[@besober]

It is Gabor Mate, he speaks widely about addiction and childhood trauma / emotional neglect - well worth a look.

[@ramclaughlin59]

Quit Alcohol Coach - Simon Chapple - Be Sober Thank you!

[@ashieslashie2204]

Thank you Simon

[@scottwyckoff5483]

Thank you brother you are making a difference

[@besober]

Thank you so much, Scott :)

[@piggies.254]

Thanks so much for this video Simon, you made so many important points! What really resonated with me was that feeling of trying to do everything 110% (job, hobbies, etc) from a place of pressure and ultimately fear that we won't do it perfectly...which means we feel that we're not good enough and also that we push ourselves almost to 'prove' that we are worthy. I've been wondering why I can't just do something 'good enough' and not keep pushing myself so hard. It's definitely due to childhood issues of low self-esteem and fear of not being good enough. And yes, Gabor Mate is THE MAN for all this stuff!!

[@besober]

Hi Zoe, thanks for the comments and I am so glad this resonated with you. Childhood emotional neglect is everywhere but very few people ever see it - have you read the book Running on Empty by Jonice Webb? It is a great read that helps us understand styles of parenting and how it impacts children. So often is what parents 'don't do' rather than what they actually do. Simon

[@piggies.254]

@@besober thanks so much for your reply Simon, I will check out the book!

[@tonymoroc]

I was from a family of 5 children, 2 sisters older and twin brothers younger. From day one of my memories I recall my mother always saying. I have Angela,Susan, Danny, David and Tony 😢 I was always and.