Behind Closed Doors: Secrets, Lies, and Heartbreak

[@D6EH]

“Running & Chasing” is a great way to describe it. With help from what I learned from Amber, I stopped chasing, but my ex continued running…and avoiding reality. Ultimately, she resented me for my efforts to deal with her alcoholism, while I resented her for ignoring it.

[@andreflavell3453]

how has it ended for you ? i chased my girlfriend for 2.5 years which is crazy because she is a alcoholic. the behaviour can be crazy at times . i sailed away to another country but have stayed in daily contact to encourage her . she went to rehab but lasted only 4 weeks. she would like to come to me but i would have to pay for the ticket and support her . but i have no funds for her cigarettes or booze. it’s all heartbreaking to be honest because she has so much time and resources to stop these addictions.

[@giuliagiacintucci5890]

Im in a similar situation but my boyfriend stayed at rehab for 3 months and now he’s back and he’s reached out first and then he pushed me away again and blocked everywhere. Not the first time though. What can be the reason that people after rehab are acting this way? Is it temporary or should I just remove myself from the situation and not waiting for some clarity or closure from him?

[@D6EH]

@@andreflavell3453 only you can make the decision that is best, but I can tell you it hurts to walk away - until you realize it’s best for you. There is damage done and I feel better every day. You can do it too.

[@D6EH]

@@andreflavell3453 I finally said “no more” and it was a good move. While I understand the desire to give them another chance, there comes a point where you lose yourself trying to help them. I wish you the best with your decision.

[@melaniedunwoodie529]

Everytime I watch one of your videos I feel like I’m sitting down with a psych giving me a reading. So much of what you say is what I’m going through. I have such bad trust issues with my person. And just recently I’ve been feeling in my guy he’s hiding something. So my mind wonders to crazy thoughts. I mentioned it to him and of course he ignores me. He’ll just call me crazy anyway. I hate living like this. You care about a person there should be respect and honesty.

[@alisonlaramore5103]

Addiction wants you to feel confused. He will gaslight you and you’ll even do it to yourself. It’s so messed up and maddening. You have to find your truth. Trust your instincts. Addiction lives in the dark and will try to keep you there too.

[@heathergomes4425]

Trust is a big issue, lots of resentment and hurt.

[@cartermusic2020]

You look so pretty today 🥰 even with the granny glasses. I’m getting healthy ❤ even if I have to go alone. Thank you for the distant help - I can “see” better.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks Better.

[@jennywareagle]

I relate to the financial issues the most and probably resentment

[@rebeccanoskiye4492]

Yes...i agree to all that you are mentioning.

[@laurielangfitt4099]

I am hoping that our family will be joining your program.

[@Fatbum11]

I had addictive personality due to hormone imbalances, I’ve met so many people with hypothyroidism/hyperthyroidism who are alcoholics or addicts, cigarettes, food, sex, and gambling. It’s associated with autism,ADHD and other stuff. Vitamin deficiencies affect the endocrine system, causing cognitive, mental and physical problems.

[@deannarobinson4065]

All of this… Every. Single. Bit. Of. It. The “Sides” were *already* so completely divided…12 break ups ago. Maybe 13. 😔💔

[@davidcasson5602]

Hi Amber ,, everything you say here ,, occurred in my relationship,, especially losing control of them once they moved out ,, if only to a flat at the top of the street.,I was having some success getting them to come to my place if ( boundary) sober, but this gradually ended . Eventually she asked me to help her stop ,, but what caught me out ,, was how far she’d driven up her consumption,, tolerance, and addiction. So ,, apart from being drawn back into the bad guy role after only a few days she,, then ,, typically,, hid away ,, and relapsed in a town centre bar ,, well ,, relapsing in public places for women is highly dangerous,, not that she remembers much about it ,, . I pulled her out of the ditch 65 miles away at 4am . Miracle that I found her and ,, if not for being filled with antifreeze , she would probably have died

[@Fiery154]

Communication was the worst, and secondarily the trust. I combated the financial piece with Dave Ramsey and got us out of debt. I worry that I fueled his addiction by giving him an alcohol budget, but he was part of the discussion and it was approached as straight up budget items. He switched from buying nice beer to only vodka 100% of the time in order to save money, but I never said anything to him about it. I think there is no way to do things exactly right. Everything is a trade off and addiction will blame you for anything it can find. He is proud that we conquered the debt, so I guess I did something right 😅

[@donnajoao]

I have a acholic husband who drinks from the time he gets up till bedtime and gets up in the middle of the night. It sucks and I'm tired I'm drained and I lie to my family my friends my job just to look like I'm happy. His addiction has made me depressed and wanted to end my life at times cause I can't take the mental, emotional, financial and physical abuse. I don't care what anyone says it's horrible he's horrible and he knows he has control cause I will lose my home my car everything cause he's the money maker and he points it out. I want to be happy but I can't and he's broke my heart my soul just everything. And I don't want to drag my son's into it that's not their dad and I know they will beat the daylights out of him. I don't want to ruin others lives with my problem. Police suck they don't care. It's not gonna end till something real bad happens. Welcome to a look into a abused woman's life

[@sharonchi4903]

leave him

[@Fiery154]

Start telling people. Don’t trauma dump (unless it is a place where there is emotional space for that), but start just answering questions straight forward and honestly. It feels a little freeing! I asked a man at Home Depot for help selecting appropriate screws for a project and he asked “where is your other half to help you with this?” I said “he’s a drunk, he can’t be bothered to be conscious.” No, nothing will come of my admission to this stranger, but it won’t splash back on the hub, and it felt good.

[@StephanieAsh-k3w]

Amber, you look so cute in your glasses 🩷

[@tamarazwinak]

If you haven't seen the interview, watch Piers Morgan interview with the mother of Hunter Biden's abandoned daughter. It's a fascinating case study on family dynamics. She wrote a book and is scheduled to testify in his trial.

[@Fiery154]

Oh interesting! I will watch it. THANK YOU!

[@ladyactor]

So, exactly what does that have to do with addiction?

[@tamarazwinak]

@@ladyactor What do you think it has to do with addiction?

[@tamarazwinak]

@@Fiery154 ladyactor is a bot. You might consider blocking that channel.

[@Fiery154]

@@tamarazwinak I’m only replying that I’m going to look up the Piers Morgan interview

[@jamestrowbridge29]

I think the main problem is the word program

[@agoodgurl2k]

😩😩😭😭😭😭😢💔

[@AndreaRogers-em2db]

Good content but too many adds