Understanding Relapse From Every Angle- (How to stop addictive behaviors)

[@PutTheShovelDown]

🙋‍♂️To learn more about relapse prevention, WATCH THIS NEXT: 👉 kzbin.info/aero/PLaaJWwIpP_zYGVn_ClPrHnBbUBmhCsAox

[@tonimarroy9219]

Thx for such great info!

[@luisleonard8052]

you prolly dont give a shit but does any of you know of a trick to get back into an Instagram account?? I somehow lost the account password. I appreciate any help you can offer me.

[@zavierluciano2317]

@Luis Leonard instablaster :)

[@luisleonard8052]

@Zavier Luciano I really appreciate your reply. I found the site on google and im trying it out now. Seems to take quite some time so I will get back to you later when my account password hopefully is recovered.

[@luisleonard8052]

@Zavier Luciano WTF IT ACTUALLY WORKED :O Literally got access to my ig account after ~ 40 mins of using the site. I had to pay 15 bucks but for sure worth the price :O Thanks so much you really help me out !

[@nlj4657]

I had 8.5yrs of sobriety and relapsed. I’ve been out about 4.5yrs. I currently have 10 days of sobriety and I recently went back to AA program after several failed attempts of moderating and quitting on my own. I traced my relapse back to feeling like I no longer felt compatible with people in the program, I began feeling like I was missing out and thought maybe I was different (not a REAL alcoholic) since I had come into the program voluntarily before experiencing some of the destructive consequences others had experienced. I appreciate the tips on relapse prevention! Ps I’m a new follower and really appreciate your videos as I also have a son who is an addict who is severally addicted and I don’t know if he even has a bottom!! He’s lost his family, job, been to prison repeatedly, etc. I wish I had found a channel like this when he was a teenager!

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi NLJ, Welcome to our little community. So glad you're here. You've got great insight!

[@anthonyrossmaund3161]

Back at square one. In trying to prevent a relapse while I get to swim through all these triggers. I'm really happy I can go back and watch and rewatch. Especially now that I'm struggling. Thanks so much for putting these out.

[@peterhoare3754]

Wow. This really describes me perfectly. It’s the booze convincing me that I’m different, that I’m not really an alcoholic. Jeez. Richard Burton put it very well. “It’s like a boxing match you have to fight every day. He’s waiting for you every day and he’ll use every trick in the book to knock you out.” I was 7 years sober and thought I was “cured”.

[@kimberlyclemens4681]

I have 8 years of sobriety on 4/19 and am now a CADC 1 I will be showing your video's in my groups at the treatment facility I work at. What I love about them is not only the information but the fact that they are the only videos that dont have triggering content!!! Thank you for doing these

[@PutTheShovelDown]

That's wonderful Kimberly! We need as many recovery soldiers as we can get🪖🪖🪖🪖 So glad you're out there spreading the message 🙌🏻

[@AmandaGreigh]

I'm a faithful follower, and also in early recovery. I love the information you're sharing, its helping me out thru my recovery

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Amanda Howie awwww, thank you so much for taking the time to share that. You warmed my heart for the whole day! 😍😀😊

[@lesleymacdonald260]

Keep it up your trying that’s the hardest bit and try not get yourself down x

[@Albert-zh6ps]

All the best to you, I pray you get your life back.☺️

[@byroncharles]

the amount of vital information you give is the greatest

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Awwww, thanks Byron!

[@SAMEntalhealth]

45 days clean now. Had almost 3 years clean before, took me 32 days to take a suboxone, but I'm only taking the lowest doses to help some PAWS. Stomach pain and anxiety. But not enough to block cravings, i just have 0 desire to use anymore. I identified my traumas that were not in my forefront, blaming everything else but these traumas. I just can't numb it anymore i love my emotions. The sickness was also a trauma to me, surrender.... best way to start three changes

[@chrisanderson2425]

been having some ups and downs with my emotions and wasn’t dealing with them in the Healthiest way .. I’m gona stop procrastinating and do what needs to be done so thank you for your content

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Impressive insight and willingness! 👊

[@robinread6946]

My eldest son was sober from meth for 8 years after using 20 and has recently relapsed. He says he has been using 3 years, I feel so used. I was his biggest cheerleader. He was working as a addiction counselor and I was asking for his help with our youngest son who is a severe alcoholic. I feel like a fool. Ready to just give up and move away.

[@Caspertem]

I'm new. Supporting a friend who's an alcoholic. I'm from Scotland

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Caspertem from Scotland. Welcome to our little community. So glad you’re here.

[@Caspertem]

@PutTheShovelDown thank you. Glad to have found you. As my friends supporter for over 30 years,this channel has provided the best advice. Thanks and keep up the great work.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Wow! Thank you for the positive feedback!

[@sandrapetersen4003]

I’ve heard this all the time from my son. He just relapsed again.

[@sherrysharpe85]

Watching from Connecticut. This speaks volumes of my husband who’s an addict .

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Sherry from Connecticut!

[@sherrysharpe85]

@@PutTheShovelDown , So grateful I stumble on your page.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

@@sherrysharpe85 me too! 😃

[@judithtota8432]

I work in a Non-profit Co-occurring Disorder program. I’m looking for good materials to share with my clients. I like your down-to-earth style.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Judith, Thanks for the positive feedback!

[@Amirah-sy5jn]

Great video !!!

[@lesleymacdonald260]

Your right about saying I have done so good so I can have a wee bit x

[@PutTheShovelDown]

It's definitely one of those sneaky thoughts!

[@lauramaymurphy4105]

I'm an alcoholic and your information is fantastic. Thank you ❤️

[@PutTheShovelDown]

My pleasure Lauramay! So glad you liked it. Be sure and let me know if you ever think of a topic you'd like to request!

[@lauramaymurphy4105]

Could you please inform us all of the dangers of alcohol? I think it's an important subject. Thank you x

[@vannamarie8430]

Staying sober is forcing me to cut off friends who drink... i relapsed a few days ago, and I am still in bed. I feel so gross, so upset with myself. Signed up for online therapy today, just trying to move in with my life in the healthiest way without support of family is very difficult.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I'm impressed with your willingness to do what it takes to stay sober!

[@ashleythompson8559]

Hello Vanna! May I ask where you're receiving the online therapy?

[@jonathanparry5471]

I'm new just relapsed on alcohol, cocaine and kratom after 32 days 😔 was just starting to feel good as well. It started by watching football with my buddies who were drinking it's been 48 hours now off the drink n coke, flushed the kratom but still have a dose left. Sooo pissed off and so is my wife. Thanks for the videos. PS I'm from Scotland so football = soccer

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Jonathan Parry hi Jonathan. Welcome to our little community. Even though you relapsed you’ve got good insight and you’re taking very good action steps!

[@verup5957]

A loved one relapsed recently and he says there's not root motive for why it happened. He just wanted to get high. Is it possible there's no real deep reason for what's causing it or they just don't want to dig deep?

[@andrewnisbet5883]

Hi I'm Andrew from scotland I'm drinking a bottle of whisky a day. I stop for a few days then Continue again I need help I'm listened to 3 of your videos and it's helping me in my thinking hope this helps me thank you

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Andrew from Scottland! Sometimes when people tell me they can't get past 2 or 3 days, it means they actually need some help with detox. Here's a video "How To Know If You Need Alcohol Detox": kzbin.info/www/bejne/noWlo3eErLFoatE

[@dh30628]

It's scary for me as a parent of an alcoholic to hear that 'sometimes relapse just happens." Holy Moly. I want to see her have lasting victory. Please tell me it's possible.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Of course it's possible

[@askpharmacisttish]

hey! thank you so much again for your amazing content.i had one last question. I know you shared this before, but is a license needed to open a sober home?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I'm sure there is some kind of license/certificate needed, but not anything like a counseling license. I'm sure the requirements vary by state.

[@askpharmacisttish]

Put The Shovel Down thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

[@jennytaylor2751]

As a family member do I confront them when I know they relapsed or are preparing to use or just wait for them to tell on themselves

[@paulasuprenant6728]

I am trying to get clean.it is very hard.i hope this video helps my recovery.thanks.Happy Thanksgiving

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hey Paula, I see that you're trying to get ahead of your addiction, and that's awesome. Here's a link to get FREE access to our 30 day jump start video series. www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/30-day-jump-start

[@jenniferlefever3163]

So I’ve heard different strategies from different counselors about whether you should take alcohol out of your house or not do it while the loved one is present. If alcohol sets off a drug addict and it’s been say a few years they’ve been clean, do you refuse them alcohol in your house, not let anyone at your party drink or let them make that decision?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Try this video 👉🏻 Important Do's and Don't For Helping Someone With A Drinking Problem kzbin.infopW9W9Wgsqjg?feature=share

[@josemartinez5958]

Is there a way I can get a hold of you. This is my first time going through this and its a lot harder than I thought. I really like your way of explaining things and helping

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Jose, We do offer virtual consultation sessions, if that would be helpful. Here's a link to learn more about how that works. www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations

[@josemartinez5958]

Thank ma'am

[@cjgia4898]

Omg! I said I had a bad day yesterday. I said, if their lips are moving they're lying! What I meant to say is....She effin relapsed! Has been using since the gvmt gave her some extra money. I was so fooled....yet again. I thought, after over 12 yrs of this BS, I would recognize it. I didn't. I'm learning a lot from your videos, but I and our entire family need more help. I started off using your technique, Amber. I did really well but she said something, I can't remember what, but it sent me and I went off like a rocket. I almost hit her. My fist was pulled back. My mom stopped me. I haven't been this angry for years. It scared me.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

It sounds like you're to your breaking point. It's okay, we've all been there. It's time to take some steps back and refuel. Take a break and then decide how you want to move forward.

[@cjgia4898]

@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you, Amber. You are right, I broke! I am saving money to take your whole course. Or maybe call Campbell or something. I'm not sure what my next step is, but it will be carefully, strategically planned and executed.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Cj Gia hi CJ, you’re such a loyal engaged part of our community, If you’d like (or need) the online course, I’d like to gift it to you. Shoot me and email and I’ll get that done for you. [e-mail]

[@cjgia4898]

@@PutTheShovelDown Do you know how much I love you? A lot! 😘❤🙏

[@laurieriek6444]

Daughter with alcohol abuse problem. Called out on it a year ago. Of course I now k ow that that was the wrong thing to do. All my advise feel on deaf ears and she hide it better. Now moved out with son. I can at times she’s drinking. I do t know how to talk to her about it? Or do I?

[@anekab5266]

Could you make another updated video on addicted and infidelity/cheating. I’m having a hard time. I’m in my 40’s. It’s hard.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Sure Aneka, Is there a particular thing within that topic you'd like to hear about.

[@anekab5266]

The validation. I think she was also on drugs. He lied to me about the drugs and cheating. I think it might be gaslighting; but his mother knows. He’s also hollers and screams at her. Why would this woman want to be # 2? Why would he accept that?

[@anekab5266]

Help. There is no other vids on you tube about this. My heart is heavy.

[@amiwhite5514]

I think they commonly cheat. It’s really unfair, I wouldn’t trust an addict.

[@anthonyrossmaund3161]

I am a chronic relapse but what makes it hard to admit it is all the jail time. The last relapse i had i mixed meth with crack " very dumb". I was never so sure that i was gonna die that night. It was scary but I couldn't even call for medical help i was sure i should have gotten because i was afraid of doing more time in jail. So i didn't ask for help. Thanks for the tips on prevention of further relapse.

[@rowanfrancis9011]

Dayv4:again said a prayer this morning , nearly drank but was stopped

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Impressive! 🎉✨

[@nicoleskoglund7427]

What if they are in the off and on pattern? And have tried AA and NA? Because I cut them off and kicked them out and then when I saw they were doing better I let them back in and now ever since on and off

[@baldersn4474]

Do you have ADD too Amber ?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Yep, I sure do! How could you tell ?😅🤣😆

[@baldersn4474]

@@PutTheShovelDown lol just you mentiobed it in thos vudeo and i remembet ypu mentioning it before..Think j told you before in the UK takes years to get diagnosed as an adult..Im 51 and undiagnosed...Very stressful in my younger days

[@lorrischauer2765]

I used to manage a sober home. When someone relapses they will eventually be found out. Our disease is progressive.

[@andreatoliver3579]

Can being overwhelmed bring on relapse?

[@lesleymacdonald260]

I have been clean from heroin for 8 years but in the last few months I have been taking crack does that mean I am a addicted to it xx

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hey Lesley, I can't say for sure, but I'd say it's super high risk. I don't know anyone who uses crack non-addictively.

[@traceyrhoads5166]

I hear all the time, " I wouldnt use, if you didnt make me mad" or " I wouldnt want to use, if you kept me happy at home" yet he will pick a senseless argument, for a reason to leave, or do something he knows will upset me, to start an argument, again, an "excuse" to leave and use, this is a cycle every few days.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Great insight. I can tell that you know whats up!

[@deannadeannahunt8179]

Shame and guilt so profound

[@PutTheShovelDown]

It truly is Deanna! Here's a video on self-forgiveness that may be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/nIWkl4mqmrx5abc

[@michelecrouse5284]

yes yes yes

[@lesleymacdonald260]

I am like that when I think about heroin I really hate it and it in front of me most days just grow out off it and the hell of a life I had on it for Years on it but now with this coke

[@katrinao5943]

OK so my boyfriend was drinking vodka (with juice) until January, when he switched to beer. He hides it all from me. For whatever reason it seemed he could control beer much better than the vodka. Well, he just started a new job last week. He's a driver, usually drives trucks but is now driving passengers (very high end event transportation company). For five days, through yesterday, there wasn't any beer hidden in the house (a little in the fridge, but it's the hidden stuff that gets out of control). Then suddenly today I'm smelling juice and find he's drinking vodka again. And I saw him filling up his "travel mug" which is how he hides it in the open. I'm sure he plans to take this with him to work tomorrow. I'm terrified that he will become unemployed again and even more so that he will have an accident and hurt someone. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Sounds like he was trying to cut it back. It's part of the change process, although it usually doesn't work. It is a step toward change though.

[@katrinao5943]

@@PutTheShovelDown thanks, that's a good perspective, I need to remember this. I wish I knew what flipped the switch last week (back to vodka) but I don't suppose one can always figure that out or that it would make any difference anyway. There were times even when he was previously drinking vodka that there were signs he was trying to cut back - but now it's nothing but acceleration. Really making me feel lost and sad.

[@KillaMinga]

Everytime i get drunk now i cry reallllyyyy bad

[@lorip6790]

My husband has used all 5 statements before in different stages. He knows it's killing him and hurting his loved ones. He refuses to get treatment.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

If he knows it's causing all those problems, then deep in his heart he has a desire to change. Find out what it is about treatment that he is worried about.

[@thetruthshallsetyoufree5092]

I'm addicted to attention. I keep hurting the ones I love the most. I have all the support anyone could wish for but the only conclusion is that I don't care. 😭

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I love your Profile name!

[@thelostwolf4832]

You’re not alone.. I get you on this Start by being okay with that, don’t force it if you’re not feeling up to it, embrace it. I guess you’re closed off to life and everything

[@thetruthshallsetyoufree5092]

@@thelostwolf4832 Thanks for your reply. Fighting against one's true self makes life miserable. You're right about accepting what is. Accepting my anger, jealousy, sadness and dark nature is necessary to find truth. I do care.

[@thelostwolf4832]

Exactly mi amigo, there you go, you got this.

[@michelecrouse5284]

you make me i get that one .....

[@lw8140]

Maybe its best if you go to treatment for yourself. But even if you are forced into it there is a chance you will take something positive from the time in treatment. Maybe something small.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Well said L W!

[@DanielAlvarez-sl6yh]

Hi Nice

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Daniel!

[@sandimiller5187]

On replay

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hey Sandy!

[@sandimiller5187]

@@PutTheShovelDown hey yourself! The show was great, keep up the good work!

[@lesleymacdonald260]

I know because it’s so easy to relapsed meet someone who says I have a good bit

[@warriorofgrace7124]

What do I do if my man has the effits and is continually using. He took my phone so if he doesn't bring it back and sold it then he won't be allowed back..so sad but I can't take it. He has been gone for hours and please don't like or comment yet due to the face he will see in the other phone..I'm dealing with my son 8months old and can't log out of anything thug till I get phone minutes 😭 I been praying all day he never sold my phone...

[@syriangirl98]

I’m new to your videos. I’m at a loss! I didn’t know my husband was a functioning alcoholic when we were dating. (There’s a lot I didn’t know) Earlier this year I kicked him out for being verbally abusive and he went into treatment himself. Unfortunately, he’s relapsed. He took a job 2 months ago that has him temporarily out of town (about 1.5 hours away) but he hasn’t come home since thanksgiving, not even Christmas. His texts are not nice. He used to say he missed us (I have 14 year old twin boys) he used to text all day. What do I do?! I know he needs inpatient treatment. That’s what he had wanted earlier this year.

[@syriangirl98]

Oh! And he doesn’t know that I’ve figured out he’s drinking. I don’t know how to approach him on this

[@jpage1331]

What if I messed up already and put them out cause they messed up.. and they have the F it’s...? What now?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Judy, It's okay to admit to the other person that you feel like you made a wrong decision (as long as you don't think they'll use it as a weapon against you).

[@michelecrouse5284]

if person as mental health issues? I did not even see the sign

[@snowman495]

I'm really worried about myself, my girl as been 3 months clean here three months clean there and now she's again 3 months clean and I just don't know if I can handle anymore lies or relapses like I think I'm gonna snap if she lies again and if she cheats again I feel real bad for myself cause I'm gonna absolutely lose it and I don't want to hurt anyone or goto jail, I'm a good man with no record or anything bad against me I just fell in love with a addict and didn't know and I'm pretty sure if she introduced her self as an addict I would of never gave her the time of day or entertained it further so it just happened and I'm just scared that things are goin to good and I won't allow myself to enjoy how amazing she has been and we have been, its driving me crazy like preparing my self for another lie and not being able to enjoy how far she's came, she went from and unemployed crack addict of like 2 years no job and not looking to working 6 days a week she's always on time she's always making sure I'm good mentally and preparing dinner for me she is also paying half for everything and she's nothing short of an amazing teammate right now but I'm to terrified to let my guard down for the 15th time and just be in the moment and enjoy because being in the moment was my down fall and I saw a princess not a drug addict I was indenile and very nieve maybe borderline arrogant to think that anyone that I do that much for would ever hurt me but I know how wrong I am now but I feel even worse not just enjoying who she is now

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Snowman, I know it seems like not getting our hopes up will protect us from disappointment, but it doesn't really work. You'll still be disappointed if she relapses, you're just making yourself miss out on the joy you could be having now. P.S. It's quite possible that she is a princess and an addict.

[@esthercastillo4340]

Prayers I’m in the same boat I’m married keep praying listening and applying Ambers videos they are life saying I just came across her videos 1 week ago …..Not gonna tell you it’s not hard it is always remember it’s a disease just like medical disease it’s takes time like a monster to heal!!Prayers my husband is dying now he needs a liver transplant and not on the list yet!!From doing the substance many many years!😭😭😞😢I’m keeping strong!For him!!

[@snowman495]

Thank you for your words they mean alot I just feel so alone because I don't want to put her and ours business out there and I don't want my friends and family to hate her or worry about me so I keep all of it bottled up and I act like a crazy person that I don't even recognize, this current relationship has made me feel like a totally different person and that only scares me

[@snowman495]

@@esthercastillo4340 thats tough to deal with and how is he holding up and how's the family mentally, I wish you guys all the strength to come together in this time and I'm very sorry you guys are all going thru that

[@baldersn4474]

Stop being codependent...Work on yourself , get therapy and iver time yiu wont choose these type of partbers anymore..She sounds Bordeline , you cant save or fix her either...Get out and work on yourself..

[@traceyrhoads5166]

I am guilty of freaking out, I'm sure I've made things worse, but yes the grown ass man comment is very familiar

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I love your honesty Tracey!

[@lw8140]

It is really hard not to freak out.

[@jacobmenard1980]

Can we talk?

[@lw8140]

My bf says the same thing, the 'i am different'. He says 'i am not your mother, I will not get cirrhosis'. Infuriating and not logical.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Denial is still baffling to me even though I've seen it a million times

[@lw8140]

@@PutTheShovelDown I told him he must have a magical liver.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

L W you crack my up, LW!

[@kevint6560]

new . 1 month sober

[@katramos5843]

Im so hurt. Im confused. Don't know what to do anymore.. My boyfriend is back to black again. After almost 9mos of not using due to the passing of both of his parents this yr. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@debmonticello2981]

Replay

[@PutTheShovelDown]

😁😊thanks Deb

[@jannetteortiz5508]

So gross. Ok...i won't eat nuggets anymore.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I know, right?!?!

[@dorariggs3473]

🐓... 😳 ... 🤢

[@PutTheShovelDown]

😮🤨