The Fastest Way To Resolve Long-Standing Arguments

Do you keep having the same old argument over and over again? (An argument that makes you feel hurt, misunderstood, and hopeless) If so, this is the video for you!
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[@PutTheShovelDown]

Watch this next 👉🏻👉🏻Active Listening: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qHO7e6qtjZaKmaM

[@crobinson9165]

I don't attend anything real time because I'm not actively in any kind of relationship with anyone with an addiction. I don't really have anything current to talk about. Anything I might contribute would be old news. However, addiction runs rampid in my family anf i have some sort if predispodition toward certain personality types. Your content is really helping me overcome some unhealthy learned behavior patterns. It brings things to light so im less likely to repeat old mistakes. It also helps me respond (or not respond) to others with unhealthy patterns. Its really helping me with boundaries. Thanks! I love the subscription.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks for watching. You've been such a big support for a long time now and I really appreciate it! 💟💟💟

[@julienorris6648]

To Alexis if you read any of these comments. I have experienced the same things with my husband. I just want to scream "Can't you see that I'm lonely? Stop rejecting me!" I know there is so much more involved, but that is how it feels. There are so many people that get it. Even though it is hard, it sounds like you are on the right track. Hang in there!

[@bybitmavaza7723]

Same same same

[@kathys6108]

Every time my sister drinks she talks about my mother and how my mother never loved her. My sister is in her sixties. It is the same topic over and over and over. I don’t know how to respond or react to her. So I don’t say anything and try to avoid her when she’s drinking.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I see this type of thing all the time. Alcohol makes you replay resentments over and over again. It doesn't allow you to get over things.

[@KandyKoatedKrafts]

Another awesome video!! (Also You look beautiful in that blue top, it really brings out your eyes!)

[@tiffanyvelasquez-walker1989]

Actually my husband was choosing his phone over his family. And it was someone else or rather many. Tik tok Porn addiction. So I think we also need to acknowledge there might be some truth in what we intuitively feel. There was negative intent nefarious motives.

[@emmiebug3763]

I’m a parent of 38 year old alcoholic for 22 years. But this is not about him. My husband and I will soon be married for 45 years. We simply run on different spokes. He likes to go to bed early and I simply enjoy staying up late and working on some project. That’s how I have been able to cope with our son’s addiction. We have simply accepted that we are different and go on with our lives. Ps. I don’t require as many hours sleep as he does. Don’t know that it’s right but it had worked for us.

[@kb-vw9ix]

Wow… gonna immediately re watch…

[@PutTheShovelDown]

😁😁😁

[@miller5170]

The staying up to drink and sometimes leaving without telling me at night is the same problem I have had it’s what every fight is over and usually I get punished whether I say something or not

[@luciemcquilkan760]

Our biggest argument is: I believe my partner gets gout/injuries when he drinks heavy. After many gout attacks, his doctor told him to never drink again. When he heavy drinks he gets an injury (sore ankle, elbow etc that might result in pain for months - I then am forced to do all the chores/parenting). I'm totally stuck. In his mind the injuries are nothing at all to do with drinking. He is stuck. It is a very contentious and impossible conversation that always ends badly!

[@Rebecca-GLaines]

Id love to know what ever happened w the last caller. Now Amber is the professional here, BUT, I used to drink and im a night owl anyways, but when my husband started going to bed i would always go tuck him in lol, kiss him, tell him goodnight, but, i was glad because now I can drink all I want and no accountability or anyone nagging. I would feel bad, but as long as he didnt say anything, I felt ok w my decision even though I knew better. I wanted to drink. Shes being waaay too nice and understanding. All i see is her keeping the peace for her own sanity, but its NOT saving her marriage. Its hurting it. He sounds like a thin piece of glass that could break at the tiniest tap. He needs reality check. He has every reason to use, he uses her compassion to use, then she apologies to him, letting him know, his issue has nothing to do w her which makes it possible for him to CONTINUE to use. And thats why they're stuck in this cycle. Life sucks, she caters to him, and he uses to fewl better while his family is falling apart.

[@user-ee5om8wy7u]

You don't resolve long-standing problems. You either accept the person as they are, or you quit the relationship. If you don't do either - you enjoy suffering long-term and that's your choice. Any person can satisfy you in a relationship, or not. And maybe they can satisfy you a lot, but only partially. Let's say they satisfy you sexually, but in a limited way (because they are not healthy/not exclusive/practice unsafe sex/whatever....). So, they can bring you joy but also big unsolvable problems. Again, you can either accept it, or not. But if you accept it, you can't complain if you don't like it. Either accept the person with the problems that they bring you, or say good bye. Problem solved 😊.

[@rosarioquiroga8300]

You’re wonderful 🖐🙏🏼

[@michelleradford5956]

Thank you. 👍🏾

[@PutTheShovelDown]

You are so welcome, Michelle

[@lisawboyle7963]

I always think my addict partner doesn't care or doesn't love me.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

I'm really sorry to hear that. Addiction can make it hard to show feelings. I have a video that might help: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJmaeatnoZmKbbM

[@cuddlemuff6632]

Hi Amber, Bree wrote to me, but unfortunatley the programme won't provide funding for your family recovery academy. Sorry.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

So sorry, that didn’t work out

[@melissabemis1406]

We argue all the time because he doesn’t touch me physically or intimately anymore when it never was a problem before rehab. (He relapsed the day he got out) Now has touched me only twice since rehab. He blames the drug. Idk what to do

[@michelecrouse5284]

i realised we only argue cos he wants to abuse....so im looking back there is no major issues its part of making time to use....

[@1Trishb]

Hi I live U.K. my daughter went 10 year ago to Oz to live with partner. Had three kids things were falling apart when visited last year. I returned traumatised at way I was treated and lots of times saw her and him drinking a lot. I feel she is now addicted and uses lots of those excuses. Because of time difference difficult and limited communication. I learned very early on not to overstep conversation so never confronted her about this. Mainly Because although want to help her in this difficult time I still want communication grandchildren 8, 6 and 3 years. Walked on eggshells so many times but need her to address this. How would you suggest I might do it without her cutting me off please help?

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Hi Trish, Here's a link to a playlist on Motivating Someone To Take Steps toward Recovery: kzbin.info/aero/PLaaJWwIpP_zYtiUsXjYwB-GJEy2iJ24a4

[@dianemcmahan5159]

👩🏻‍🏫 👋🏼 l e a r n i n g 🤔

[@judigrassi7820]

Ex husband being insecure and bullying child.

[@judigrassi7820]

👋

[@peggyjackson4392]

✋

[@edithmencos5699]

😊😢

[@jennywareagle]

🖐🏼

[@OnlyBuilt4FinancialContracts]

👀 💅💜🔥🥰

[@brookedannar1425]

🙏

[@amberoftheyear]

🙋🏽‍♀️

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Thanks Ami!

[@JAMN2GD]

How come you lose me so much. I feel there is no bullet points and it is just talk. Also who cares if in child hood. Of course I know the triggers. Where the pain came from. Does not help at all. If you start to have anxiety its the way it is. I cant get rid of it no matter what tactic. It just does not work. 30 years tons of help. STILL SHAKING. STILL ATTACKS. Worked on everything. Meditation, breathing, medication. Nothing works. Completely in fear of what the day will bring. PERIOD.

[@cassdan]

Have you ever tried manifestation? The mind is so powerful. Instead of, “I can’t get rid of it no matter what tactic. Nothing works.” Believe the opposite, say it to yourself (in your head or out loud) like it’s already true. Every day, “I feels so good to no longer live in fear. I know the joy of a mind at ease. What a blessing it is to experience life, free from anxiety. I am so thankful. I am safe and secure. The answer was in me all along.” Every day. Over and over. Repeat phrases like they are fact, like you already know it to be true. And the mind and body will begin to work in sync. Try it for a week. 🤍

[@sunflowerzelda45]

ha, just found these isn't that something. Good video Amber

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Those are fun emojis. Where did you find them?

[@QuestionThingsUseLogic]

@@PutTheShovelDown 👋