AdoptEd | Rebecca Galler | TEDxYouth@AnnArbor

People who are adopted experience judgment and battle preconceived notions about what it is like to be adopted and how it forms your character. How can we change our perspective to see people who are adopted in a more positive light?
Rebecca Galler is a junior at Huron High School. Rebecca enjoys acting in plays with The Huron Players, drawing, and writing. Rebecca is adopted and through her experiences of seeing how adopted people are judged and portrayed everywhere it inspired her to speak about adoption in order to educate people on the topic to try to help break the stereotypes on adoption. Rebecca hopes to pursue the field of interior design, and possibly psychology.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@sarahpartridge9596]

Thank you so much for your positive speech!It is great to hear practical advise from an adoptee that will help the parents of adopted children. Thank you!!

[@jamesleonard1347]

It's hard to believe you are only in high school, Rebecca. You speak and think beyond your years.

[@m.riveram9217]

Well done! I have 4 adopted children that have also gone through a lot, I think her point was to begin a positive outlook instead of always emphasizing on the negative images of adoptees.

[@jonathansmith3935]

Mercedes Martin ignoring something won't make it go away you can't ignore psychological issues out of existence

[@terrykelly6113]

​@@jonathansmith3935adoption

[@megnemo6403]

I'd say paperwork doesn't make you a parent love of the actual person does. Not all adopters become parents. And not all adoptees were placed out of their parents arms appropriately. I finally am getting my life back after turning fourty two yesterday. I don't think their should be a stigma on adoptees. Yes we are overrepresented in therapy compared to our peers, but natural children are far far more likely to murder their parents then adoptees their legal guardians. The reason why we are overepresented in therapy is our amigdalla s are triggered at birth by the separation. in some ways this is worse then a trauma that we can remember because we are upset by things and we don't know why and others trivialize it because of this. Adoptees quite often try to please everyone else as best as we can because we already know we have been gotten rid of. We are second class citizens disallowed things every one else has like a real birth certificate and any medical history. If you choose your adopters as family that is your choice but there are some of us that have been so badly treated we don't even talk to or live within six state lines of the people who bought us mistreated us and lied to us and stole what was most dear from us.

[@jkscout]

I've heard the opposite, that parricide is more common in adoptees re Betty Jean Lifton's book "The Journey of the Adopted Self."

[@leikahillebrand7732]

Wow, what an amazing ted talk. It is really cool to see someone at a young age talking about adoption like this through their own experiences. Her research is very impressive. Go her!

[@nancymeyer2971]

Thank you Rebecca

[@joews1982]

You go girl! Thanks for sharing your story. Your perspective and influence are inspiring. Keep sharing your story.

[@aquamarine0023]

Amazing and important speech and you have a talent for public speaking.

[@industrialkloroplast]

i appreciate this person's desire to initiate conversation about adoption and adoption issues, but she's completely disregarding all of the psychological trauma that is created by the separation of a mother and newborn child. problems resulting from this trauma can go with the child into adulthood and have a lasting affect on their ability to form relationships. yes, we shouldn't look at adoptees like they're freaks, but ignoring the issues created in an individual via adoption is certainly not going to help anyone, especially not the adoptees. yeah i'm a human like everyone else, but i've gone through and lived with something pretty critical that the majority of those around me have not, and that is "abnormal."

[@itsmeagancasssey]

She's only like 16,17.

[@velouric]

Hola

[@minuterepeater2257]

Indeed, when I look to myself I see myself in what she is saying; but I also reconise myself in what you said. For me its a constant struggle of emotions who often are as paradoxial as can be.

[@minuterepeater2257]

@@itsmeagancasssey What has her age got to do with this, I have known many adopties who knew perfectly well it is everything but a one sided issue.

[@MustyUnderboob]

@@minuterepeater2257 your brain is still growing until your mid 20's.

[@AdopteeHonesty]

Well she was young at the time of this talk. Perhaps she just hadn’t met or been exposed to adoptees with not so great outcomes. She’s painting adoption as the fairytale but it’s not that simple. The whole thing about a better life is not always true. I know adoptees who been abused in their adoptive families. And if adoptees are viewed as troubled, take into consideration the trauma of not knowing your story, feeling unwanted, and whatever the birth mom felt, the baby inside felt too. Anxiety shame anger desperation lost etc are common. How many moms that are giving their child up are happy and well adjusted and loving life at that point? I’m just saying all that affects us into adulthood. Nevertheless thank you for your perspective and sharing, Rebecca

[@fergusthepoet]

A highly intelligent and impressively articulate young woman. Kudos to her, and she makes some good points. However, I disagree that '...giving up your child is one of the most honourable things you can do...' and as Abby Collins writes below, she's missed some very important facts regarding trauma. In wanting to see adopted people as psychologically normal, and taking issue with the way we are presented in the media, literature and film, she misses out some evidence which backs those stereotypes: (i) adoptees are 4 times more likely to commit suicide; (ii) they are 8 times more likely to be mass/serial killers (in the US); (iii) 15 times more likely to commit patricide (murder of their adoptive parents compared to natural children killing their parents; again US).

[@chiarardn]

You should consider the possibility that the statistics you mentioned have nothing to do with adoptions and depend instead from the psychological and physical abuse those kids received BEFORE being adopted. As an adoptee, and an adoptive parent wanna-be, I can attest that adoption doesn't make anyone a bad person, or a psychologically ill one. Rather, living in an unhealthy family for the first months or years of your life, and then maybe spending some time in the foster care system, could give you some problems. But that is also true about plenty of people who ARE NOT adoptees, people who grew up in unhealthy birth families: they can become mass/serial killers and/or commit patrice or suicide just as much as anybody who has been adopted, if they have gone through the same ordeals of physical and psychological abuse.

[@MustyUnderboob]

@@chiarardn naïeve.

[@marypedersen226]

Don't forget that movie The Bad Seed.

[@juditreble9424]

I wish she talked louder

[@jonathansmith3935]

This lady are young lady is extremely smug and overconfident I don't believe she knows what she's talking about I was adopted and you know I've experienced some of the same things she claim to have experienced but she seemed to disregard the actual trauma that's caused by separating a child from its biological mother even if it's done at Birth is extremely traumatic and all affect the child throughout his life especially if they have neglectful adoptive parents

[@fergusthepoet]

I think especially if it's done at birth (check out all of the research on what [human] baby animals know at birth, and also Dr Paul Sunderland's quite brilliant lecture on adoption). I think she's an intelligent young woman - but she's on a journey; she has a lot of adoption fog to come out of. I only ever speak for myself on adoption, but I know many, many adoptees who have similar experience: adoption has had a catastrophic effect on my mental well-being, my sense of self and identity, and has played its part in behavioural problems. 'neglectful adoptive parents', Jonathan - you can have an Alleluia! on that one, brother.

[@melyssacollins4553]

I think calling her smug and overconfident is quite unfair. She’s a child coming to terms with her life, she’s bravely telling her story. Of course the trauma of being adopted is present regardless of age and circumstances, but give some allowance for a young lady who is still forming her opinions on her life’s experience. I applaud her.

[@loveoneanotherdonthate]

Thank u my friend 👏💙

[@fbxurumela]

I hate that kind of little speech. I am adopted and I think it sucks. I have always been in favor of abortion, since I was a child. Better not to be born. It would save a lot of unnecessary suffering. And everyone would be happy. It is the logical and correct decision Nobody wants to enter the world through the back door. Nobody wants to have a life that was not wanted. Few people understand the strength of nature, genetics, culture and ancestry. Only those who lost all these things at once. If they had asked my opinion I would have said: "You can kill. I don't want half a life"

[@anarchisttutor7423]

Whatever irresponsibility, stupidity, or other mental problem that lead to parents giving up their kid probably has a genetic component. Add to that the difficulty (trauma?) adoption brings to children, and it's no wonder they tend not to do as well.

[@jkscout]

Did the mother of Moses from the book of Exodus have a mental health problem? Or did the circumstances she found herself in require her to give up her baby to save its life? I imagine many in her shoes suffered from mental health problems. Were her problems genetic, or socially constructed? I imagine no parent would give up their child if the circumstances of their lives and culture had been different. It is no different now than it was then.

[@gnawershreth]

I don't think she understands the whole "He's adopted" comment about Loki honestly. Clearly the point isn't that he's killing people because he's adopted. Thor is just trying to use a joke to distance himself from the actions of Loki. He's jokingly saying "We're not actually related" to distance himself from the killings. I don't see how you could possibly think that the point is trying to "shame" adopted people. I can't believe anyone would understand the comment like an "attack" on adopted people. That's not the point at all and I think that's pretty obvious honestly. Imagine the roles being reversed and Thor going on a killing spree. Then Loki (even if he *was* actually adopted) might still want to distance himself from the actions of Thor. He might even say "Well, I'm adopted." to point out that he certainly doesn't share biology/DNA with such a nutter. It's a joke to say "I'm not like him" and nothing else. If that hurts your feelings simply because it contains the word "adopted" you need to grow up..

[@chayton1001]

I take it you're not adopted.

[@gnawershreth]

@@chayton1001 No I'm not, and maybe that's why I'm able to make a rational argument here instead of appealing to emotions. If you get upset over a silly joke the problem is you. No one else has to care about your feelings.

[@chayton1001]

@@gnawershreth A rational argument? To who? Yourself. Maybe. Anyone who has seen the movie gets what Thor was saying. The point you don't get is that adopted people are tired of having something that is traumatic, and not their choice, used repeatedly as a joke, a plot line or a character flaw. You didn't need to answer my question, didn't you realize it was rhetorical? So you're either someone who just thinks your smarter than others or you like to hear the sound of your own thoughts. Whatever.

[@jkscout]

except villains often are adopted, e.g., Joker and Cruella DeVille

[@yoshilee7101]

Snowflake. I'm an adoptee. I'm 33 years old. And never. Not once have I heard a movie line that offended me. When thor said that it was funny. It was a joke. A joke is not to meant to be taken seriously. A director wrote that line and thor said it. If u ask thor the real human actor I'm sure he doesn't think that adoptees are bad people that kill 80 people.

[@jkscout]

Adoptees are often represented this way. E.g., Joker and Cruella DeVille come to mind. This doesn't make her a snowflake. It makes her an astute observer, and sensitive to detail.