Adult with Autism | 5 Ways I Improve My Baseline Mood | 59

I have a naturally low mood. My default mood is never in neutral, so I have to do things and remind myself of things in order to try and improve it.
As always, I just thought I'd share. But please note these are things I do, I am not saying they will work for others.
0:00 Intro / Catch Up
4:10 Ownership
9:14 Reality vs. Opinion
15:27 Deadwood
21:07 Upgrading
23:09 Who Are You Living For?
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[@flamingohead27]

I totally have to check in with what my mood is at. And sometimes i dont know 😅. people tend to should all over themselves and others. Being related to someone means NOTHING. I've had strangers nicer to me then some of my family. And if someone's toxic drop them. It's a weight off my shoulders. I hate it when a shops change up there stuff. That sounds like an amazing time! Food, comfy cloths, and a favorite entertainment. It's the best! Great video and spot on with all your points. Fantastic points really. I wish more people thought as you do.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Yep, the person you care about the most is just another person to anyone else. How they treat you and vice versa is what any relationship is based upon. No one gets a free pass to talk or treat you bad. If anything, family should treat you far better than the rest of the world. So if they don't, sever ties!!

[@Marie-1901]

Nice chat Paul, lots of good points. Appreciate your treat others with respect and kindness approach 😀. Wishing you a great relaxing weekend! 👋

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Marie. Always appreciated. I hope you enjoy the weekend too 👍🏻

[@Gandalf_the_quantum_G]

I'm sorry to hear about your masking experience. We've got a new manager employed just yesterday and he's an asperger as we are. We talked a bit yesterday evening in the office and I realized somehow, that he might be autistic. So I asked him straight away and he replied simply with yes. He gave me a good advice, which I've heard already, but never got it the way he was telling it to me, because I asked him how he comes along in this business world. He told me, that he always don't connect with the thoughts he has. He always tells himself "it's just thoughts", so he don't try to get them in the off, but he just don't engage with them and like this he says he's kind of balanced - even though he is a very hard working person as well as I can estimate it yet. He's in his late 40's. I don't idealize him, but I'm just happy, that in between us 8 managers in my department there is one more like me. I tried today his suggestion to not engage with the emotions and thoughts and at least for this one day I'm way more relaxed. Greetings and wish you the best!

[@AdultwithAutism]

That is really good news. I am very happy to know you have someone who is closer to you than further away which is usually the case! Hopefully it will be the start of a more considered workplace for you moving forward 👍🏻

[@susanbeever5708]

Great points! There’s always van life too if things ever get impossible in a regular place.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Very true Susan, you won't hear me arguing that point 👍🏻

[@dawnlivingston6236]

Thank you for the video Paul, I totally have the same train of thought as you do it's so nice to hear from someone that thinks the way I do. I Wish people would be more understanding. I was so literal as a kid, watching movies with my family I used to point out the fact that those things were not real and oh my gosh my family used to get mad at me just watch the movie LOL. I was nicknamed The Crab because I didn't like what was going on around me and nobody took the time to care of what I needed as a child. Now I'm a grown adult, and it's difficult I just stay away from the people that give me negative feelings and stay to myself as much as possible. 💕

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Dawn. I know what you mean, looking out for your wellbeing makes you reclusive by design. But it's not our fault it turns us inward, people should be more asking the question as to why we get let down to the point we would rather limit our social interaction with others.

[@bryanmerton5153]

Hi Paul, tremendous video! Great advice. I too treat people as I want to be treated. Its an axiom. I also am living the life I want. Also I have never figured out why people keep up with people just because they are related. I do not keep toxic people around me. Oh and great advice about routines. I have been, as of late, changing some up. The ones that get in the way that is. I have never heard of Steam Deck. It sounds amazing. Its like a Super Nintendo Switch! I bring my switch everywhere as I love gaming. I know, I am 62, but I still love gaming! I am now going to some heavy reading on Steam! I hope your wrestling even went as planned. Although I do not care for wrestling, replace it with Star Trek or Star Wars, and that evening sounds like something I do to recharge! Really cool to have to videos in one week! Cheers!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Bryan, I guess the Steam Deck is like a Switch, and I really want one haha. It'll definitely make working away a lot better, and I already own a few games on PC so will be able to get them on there using the same log in details and it won't cost me extra 👍🏻

[@bryanmerton5153]

@@AdultwithAutism that’s excellent. Not having to purchase the same game over again. You definitely need that😃. Remember “owning it solves the problem of being without it!”

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha. With logic like that, who am I to argue!!

[@123.earlystart]

Sweet! Dogs are the best!

[@AdultwithAutism]

I need to do a review of my videos where I got a puppy. He's almost two and a pain...in a good way of course 😂

[@SamskaraSystem]

Hi Paul, I love your channel. I listen every week at work. I am wondering have you ever studied Vedic/Upanishadic philosophy? You describe straight away that You know “Paul” is not “The Doer.” That your body and brain do what they do but that’s not *actually* YOU… I have had difficulty reconciling being autistic in Western society when in Indic philosophy it seems autistic perception is validated and encouraged. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the world

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Lauren, thanks for kind words. Always appreciated. I haven't heard of it....probably can't even say it 😂 I do have what I feel are the 'split' in a fair few scenarios. Some people say that Autism is their entirety, I don't feel that way. I don't believe my favourite colour, sports teams, or genre of music is determined fully by it, if that makes sense? Maybe I'll do a video on it 😂

[@SamskaraSystem]

@@AdultwithAutism Also, I have woken up in a much better mood today and I can’t stop thinking about you saying “What mood am I in today?” Hearing you say that was jaw dropping because that’s what it’s like! I can go to bed perfectly fine and wake up like someone assaulted my mother, and I hate the world and can’t change my mood even if I try. Similarly I can go to be like that and wake up sunshine and rainbows. I’ve yet to figure out WHAT IS THE DETERMINING FACTOR? Is there something in the cerebral spinal fluid that washes my brain with emotion? 🤷🏻‍♀️ the struggle is real. Thanks again, hope you have a happy day today, Paul

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm glad your mood was better today, always a good feeling to start the day off right. There must be something to it where we feel removed from the initial decision process of determining mood factor. I just share all and if it hits with anyone, great! Hope your day stays well 👍🏻

[@motorcyclehair]

Would you do an entirely separate video of how it feels more in depth this you did in this about how the next job after your diagnosis is. This is me & I fear unless I work in a mostly autistic office or non-profit/ASD-related....I just won't have the mask to deal w/the people bs. Also, I'm only 3min in, so forgive me if you answer this. When you're in a mood, do you have specific modes you go into? I tend to also have a shutdown. 1. To spare other people from saying really blunt/rude shite 2. I've got 0 energy for interaction 3. I'm a little depressed/pissed at how low a mood I'm in.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Do you mean do a video of what it was like getting a job once I knew I had Autism?

[@motorcyclehair]

@@AdultwithAutism Yes. I’m torn between going through the process of just doing the job hunt like I’ve always done for the last 21 yrs (started corporate at 16) OR targeting companies/non-profits that really want autistics. Most geared for autistics is entry level & my last job was mid-senior. I’m also a major accounting/# cruncher, so the money does need to be there for me (mostly so I can save 40-50% of it). Just don’t know, I’m working with an autistic mentor at Hendrickx & Associates (who has autism as well) www.asperger-training.com/coaching-and-mentoring…..job searching after almost 2 yrs/receiving autism & adhd dual-diagnosis is new territory for me & I’m curious how you approached it. There are also others who are super keen on disclosing pre or during interview….in my opinion, Im not sure if that does help a candidate. From what I've gleamed from you, even with the Autism Act 2009 in your country, it still doesn’t stop employers from treating autistics badly & not providing support. Sad. To clarify, a video about how you decided to approach your job search….just like normal or as an autistic (meaning you are planning/have disclosed your diagnosis), did you do anything special/target companies that seemed to have “real” inclusion, provided a good/short job description (I too tried to get one from my last job--never did. Because I was doing HR & Accounting---2 jobs--the bestards'.…..Basically, did you do anything different or did you approach/search/research & go through the hiring process the same as before diagnosis? Hope I wrote this to make sense.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I think I get it, and I have been making notes about a mini series about how employers should consider Autistic employees, so hopefully it will all tie together. I don't believe anything more than tokenistic approaches are ever considered, or if they have even asked an Autistic person their opinion on the process! I do actually feel the issue you have though. I would love to work fully in Autism related fields. I do work within it now, but it is more of a voluntary basis which has come about through doing my channel. But we differ on the financial front. For instance if I had the option of a job I could work where my passion could be used and I had to sacrifice the spare 40-50%, I would do it in a heartbeat. I only use money as the tool to pay for mandatory outgoings, anything additional wouldn't be used. I've nothing to save for...except a pension, but I genuinely don't believe I'll reach that age so no point in saving for it! But the pay is so low over here in Autism fields that I could earn more on as a retail store assistant, and I need more than that for my bills!! In fact, it is the only reason I continue to work in my field, because the pay covers what I need it to. Doesn't make me happy though unfortunately. I did speak about the interview process for my new role in the last Butterfly Effect video, but I hopefully will cover part of this is the mini series too.

[@motorcyclehair]

@@AdultwithAutism ❤️

[@motorcyclehair]

Paul for Prez or in your case PM lol.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I wouldn't be allowed, I have common sense 😂

[@turtleanton6539]

Heeey😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@Stranded360]

Did you get your steam deck?

[@AdultwithAutism]

I didn't. It's something I might revisit in the new year depending how often I have ti stay away from home.

[@Stranded360]

@@AdultwithAutism I got the middle version- it is one of the best handhelds I have ever purchased, unfortunate it is so expensive but I use it everyday. Highly recommend if you already have a large steam collection, though it is limited in the games it can play. What I find it shines best at is side scrolling games and RPGS. It is also the best emulator you can get so that opens up even more games that are free (assuming you don't mind pirating). Worth selling some possessions and getting. (worst part of it is probably just the time it steals)

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'd need it to steal time to be honest. When I work away, I get to my hotel around 17:00, eat around 18:30, then have nothing to do until the next day. It's something I'll definitely look into, problem is I need a new PC too. Why does everything have to cost so much!!