Adult with Autism | School Education Didn't Make Sense | 78

I struggle when something doesn't makes sense. Then when something else doesn't make sense to go on top of the thing that already doesn't make sense, I am not sure what I am supposed to do with it. A bit like if you burn a cake when you make it to the point where it is inedible why would you then carry on decorating it instead of making a new one?
The education system was broken when I was at school, and for some reason I fancy moaning about it over 20 years later.
0:00 Intro / Catch Up
09:37 School Education Didn't Make Sense
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[@sophya5796]

In my country it's common to take a four-week summer leave. I'm happy with two, and it's a complete mystery to me how people can return to work after such a long leave. I would go fully feral and back at the office just hiss in the corner and bite some passing legs 😆

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, the more I'm away from something, the harder it is to go back to. But if biting is allowed then maybe that'll soften the blow!

[@leejordan001]

Man! You made me laugh so hard! That's exactly what I feel! When christmass is over and new year start I have to go through a mourning process just because I have to go back to the hamsterwheel, masking, trying to be normal...

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

I had to laugh hard on this one! Dogs are not allowed doing that. We humans the same. But it just should be legal really! I would feel better, if i could do what you mentioned😂

[@-whiskey-4134]

For me, I always got things like “you’re such an intelligent kid, but you never do your work” or “well….you got the right answer, but you did it wrong” or “you’re so exact and direct with your writing, where’s the filler?”. 1.) yeah because I cant focus in this hectic environment. 2.)How is it wrong if the answer is right? 3.) Because filler is useless and irrelevant information. I gave you my arguments, the evidence to back it up, and cited all my work. That’s what you asked for. You didnt tell me to make it entertaining. That’s how my brain worked in school. And I needed a headphone in my own corner away from people. In my later HS years, once I got all my credits from the forst couple, I made it so I had 3 study period classes a day because I got all my stuff done my first 2 years so I could chill my last 2 mostly. I got to study the stuff I liked on my ipod touch lmao I absolutely hated having everyone’s attention on me if it was my turn to read. I purposely never did completed any project specifically so i didnt have to do a presentation. The only classes I liked were the creative and trade classes. Those really stimulated my brain. I’m still not the best at it, but I didn’t understand punctuation whatsoever. I had to teach myself so people didn’t think I was stupid. That was a confusing 2 years after school lmao for a long long time sarcasm flew over my head. I started researching sarcasm and using it until I understood the context in which you’d use it. There’s a lot of things I was clueless about and I only know them because I was too poor for college. My social skills were abysmal. Still not good at it, but being in retail and customer service helped see how to act, how to speak, what kind of inflection to use in my voice. I basically would people watch and copy the way they acted in accordance to certain situations. Now in my 30’s i still struggle, for years ive been dealing with mental health issues, sleeping problems, stomach issues, and crippling migraines. Random depressive phases, social anxiety to the max. I started learning a lot of things in my life are traits of autism and close friends of my fiancée are autistic. I decided to ask their opinion on my experiences. Been doing research for a few years, taken many assessments, looked up different disorders to see what lined up with me, but I told them about my life. Basically I wanted to ask people who are actually Autistic like “hey, does this sound like I should go for a diagnosis or am I being a hypochondriac?” And one of my fiancée’s friends basically said “lol dont bother wasting the time and money, based on everything you said and the research you did for years straight, you’re definitely Autistic.” That being said, from that perspective, so much of my life is starting to make a lot of sense. And I was actually trying to prove that I’m NOT Autistic, but everything is pointing to the opposite. Im in a weird spot in life, especially being in my 30’s and reanalyzing my entire life. Idk what to feel really. Not that it’s a bad thing, but it’s a weird form of clarity if that makes sense. It’s bittersweet.

[@leejordan001]

I feel you. I am 39 and a few weeks before I relised I was autistic in my whole life. All the shit got meaning. Everithing clicked to it's place. I still don't know what to do but I realised I became much more forgivable and loving to myself.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good to hear that. Always remember, you are important too 👍🏻

[@AdultwithAutism]

You got the right answer but did it wrong...very relatable! 👍🏻

[@janinemills6732]

I love your view on things. So refreshing. Your posts are really helpful, thank you

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all, glad they help 👍🏻

[@rebeccalord7012]

Everything you said ☺️🙄 I'm in the middle of a foundation degree at 44. They don't mark you on the actual subject matter, just by how organised you are, how well you write about the subject (in the academic style which makes opinion sound like fact), and how well you problem solve and communicate with the tutors. It's simply more intensive social conditioning to do things the way they have always been done. That's why it doesn't matter what subject you study. It's all about controlling the masses and not allowing people to think for themselves, only fit into the machine that already exists. Needless to say I won't be going on to get my BA or any other higher levels. I self identify as audhd after falling down a giant rabbit hole this time last year 😂

[@AdultwithAutism]

Giant rabbit hole...hopefully there isn't an enormous rabbit knocking about somewhere!! You're right though, it's all control. There is no reason we all need to study and work forever and then die! But here we are arguing about who offended who today 😂

[@Zoe.8]

Hi Paul, I'm only 8 minutes into your video but I just have to tell you I feel Exactly how you do about the dark days and nights and the cold weather. You are probably the only person I know that feels the way I do

[@AdultwithAutism]

Already looking forward to bypassing summer!

[@leejordan001]

No, I am the same. I love when cold hits when autumn starts. The rain, the cold so I can wear my black long, warm clothes. I can stay at home, I can be with my toughts and whatch rain on the window. I love the brown leafs falling. It is my space to be. I like summer too but much less. When autumn starts I feel Thats it! My time has come.

[@SK-is2ux]

that is a much needed educational plan and I think you need to share it with somebody who can do something with it. or begin it yourself. MUCH NEEDED 👍

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thank you 👍🏻

[@jaseman]

Young children are very curious and the world is filled with fascination. They have a million questions. But once they've been through the education system - everything has become drudgery. The excitement and fascination gets driven out of them by pompous, self-righteous teachers. You can see it on their faces... the lust for learning has been completely replaced with this tired look of utter boredom, frustration and disillusionment. It's very sad to see it. I think the whole system needs to be restructured. They should have someone like Professor Brian Cox come in and present some fascinating talk to the children and then each child would take a turn to go to a quiet room with him - just one-on-one and ask whatever questions they may have and he would answer those questions - without behaving condescendingly or getting angry and making them feel bad about themselves because they misunderstood something. I don't think following a rigid syllabus is helpful. We need to let the children explore in the directions they wish to go in. But I think if the learning is well presented as it is in some documentaries - that effect of turning curious children into lifeless souls could be avoided. The way I understand it - school is supposed to be like an introduction to super-interesting topics... the teachers job is to get the children hooked so that they want to know more. This is where they are failing terribly.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm convinced all school is for is to condition us to show up on time and in uniform everyday, so we can repeat that in work when we get older!

[@jaseman]

@@AdultwithAutism Yes - they just want obedient slaves that won't stray from the well defined path.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Probably why people like me get called strange, just because I don't want to walk a path so many others do.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

My son was so happy, interrested, curious about learning stuff, discovering things. I played with his brilliant mind and used his complete open minded mind. Learning was fun together! As soon he got in kindergarten in the 3t year, he lost his zest in learning i only 3 weeks!!!! He said to me, now i have to learn and it is not the same. He said, now i learn things i am not interrested in. The following years his eyes got dull, losing the spark and stars in his eyes. I broke inside, seeing him declining emotionally, psychologically and morally. He was no longer interrested in just the fun of learning, discovering. He never finished school. He has a poor brain health now and he is dead inside, lost his power in his mind. I will never forgive, nor forget what the school system does to children. My son had everything to live life. Now he is just existing. 😢

[@scottcampbell9479]

Hi Paul. I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 40 I'm 50 now. One of my teachers at middle school in the early 80s used to hit me every time I had a French lesson because I used to tell him I live on a council estate and we didn't even have a car so i don't need to learn French as I will never go there, needless to say he couldn't understand my logic. I've still never been to France. It's frustrating being autistic and causes me anxiety as I can never say what im really thinking. Loving your videos, hope you are well 👍

[@ZeonGenesis]

Exactly part of the reason why I burnt out in high school. The hours were long, homework was immense, there was no time off, and I had to learn so much about the most trivial, pointless things I've never needed unless they granted me access to a higher education. My brain couldn't do it. I still struggle with it. Nothing about society really makes sense. Why do I have to study advanced math to get into psychology? Why do we all pop out of school unable to handle basics of adult life? The system needs an autistic do-over, with sense and rationality as foundation. Surely even highly intelligent NTs can see that.. Right? D:

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'd like to think so

[@MartKart8]

I never thought of that King Charles is a Spaniel. One thing I learned about school education is it's inauthentic learning, I don't remember much, back then from school. I was diagnosed as Autistic when I was in the school, some people came in and I got the diagnoses that way. People often got angry, about how I can't get into game development, oh your too old, and that was when I was a teenager back then, also said you have to work in a team. I have spent some years recently watching and learning from Tutorial videos, been using Unreal Engine, then I also got into software called Blender and began making models and importing them into Unreal Engine. I made a demo and the game was played on Twitch, people said the game reminded them of Toy Story, they liked my character I built and animated.

[@AdultwithAutism]

If game development interests you, then age and the general societal expectation from it isn't relevant thankfully to Autistic people. It's good to hear you have the strength in your interest too. If others cannot understand, that sounds like their problem 👍🏻

[@AnnaBananaRepublic]

9:02 Moaner savant 😂 I love your rants And also love the rainy days. I hate the sunny morning when I have I don’t, because as SOON as the sky lights up, I WAKE UP!! Not just wake up. It’s like frenzy of activity when my mind would have NO chance at falling asleep now so I’m stuck for the day.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Same. Brain goes into overdrive and doesn't want to go back to sleep 👍🏻

[@SweetiePieTweety]

Yes! Safe space is critical. Yet as a child that can seem completely outside your control. Once you have children it can be completely outside your control lol…. lil buggers. I am thankful you have yours❤ Good luck with the MRI. So hopeful you can get back to the hikes. Without my daily hike in my safe space trail even if it is short due to pain, I don’t feel right at all. Excellent video. You touch on so many crucial elements to autistic health which is quite different than what most consider good health. I just spoke to this myself with a friend. Everyone gauges your well being on your social engagement, which is just so counter for the autistic individual who often only finds good health once they have carved out the safe space within their own psyche to embrace solitude as healthy and defends it with their very life force 😂😂😂

[@AdultwithAutism]

Oh yes, I defend my space so much that I didn't tell people when I moved house! 😂 So many more reasons we need it outside of social interaction as you say. Recharge, peace, solitude, relax, escape, and overall a space I can have for me.

[@michaelkeates7838]

I’ve recently discovered your KZbin/Spotify. I’m autistic myself and I can relate so much. Just wanting to say thank you

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Michael, thanks very much 👍🏻

[@kirstygascoyne178]

English was the one class I just refused to partake in out of its inability to seem relevant if we could understand each other what was the point. Teachers misunderstood me because i was a shy, quite goth that just wanted no trouble. I left at 14, was told I had depression and placed in a young people's mental health unit. I attended school there, but when I stopped taking their medication they chucked me out just before getting my standard grades. They set me up in a college adult returners course full of middle aged ex drug users, this went south too due to my asd nievety printing out pictures for my chosen project which I didnt understand were bad. So I left at 16 to live in Holland with my 40 yr old bf as decided the education system wasn't for me and masewell be a drummer or something like that. Wanted to live outside of society off grid as much as possible. Thankyou for your videos I absolutely love your style and just relate to the way you describe things so well! Hope all is good! Kirsty 😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks for your kind words Kirsty. Hope the videos carry on being useful 👍🏻

[@romecarey7388]

This should be on world news lol 😂 someone once said too me that I over simplify things I told her what if all the most difficult questions have painfully simplistic answers 🤔😂 #AutismRules

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, you can't simplify something complex, but you can simplify something simple. It's others who make the simple more difficult 👍🏻

[@clarasamuelthomas]

After seeing almost every video you made so far, I can tell you that I don't see an ugly face as you always say😊😊😊😊😊

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, cheers 👍🏻

[@TheCakeIsNotaVlog]

Oh yes, Maths. I, also, kept hearing about how we wouldn’t always have a calculator. But we also were so bad, that we had to get one. So I was given detention, for not having a calculator. But the real twist? I was the only member of the class with 100% accuracy. Fuck school

[@AdultwithAutism]

🤘🏻

[@kdcraft89]

I liked elementary school. Why? The rest of my life was chaotic and overwhelming. In school it was quiet and organized. Safer at school than elsewhere. I didn't like recess very much, again, kids running around and screaming. I had 2 best friends and we would find a less chaotic corner of the playground. Middle school and high school were more chaotic and I was bullied for a while by a group of older boys until I fought back effectively (mask slipped and I melted down). Beyond elementary, not so quiet and organized and painful in some ways. I was a good student because I like to learn new things and learning them helped me shut out the world. Still does. Back then teachers were more skilled than today. It is ridiculous today. There were a few horrible, abusive, incompetent teachers that made me hate their subjects, though. The tragic part today is that nearly all schools (at least in my area) have cut out most shop and practical courses. They don't value these skills, and subtly shame the students who learn them (social class, really), but would rather teach nonsense stuff or things kids aren't interested in, like you describe. Where will we have the plumbers and builders of of the future? Several forces at work in addition to snobbery: Those courses cost more money/equipment, etc. There is more liability, so the liability insurance also costs money and everything is about safety,. In the long run, people are less safe when they try to learn to use a circular saw from youtube, since many of the videos don't show the right ways to use power tools, etc. In the US there is a big movement for homeschooling. Perhaps a parent can and will teach their child carpentry or how to fix broken appliances, etc. Some kids would love this. That child will then be able to earn a decent living. One of my autistic siblings is in a skilled trade. Guess which one of us will never go wanting for work and doesn't have to suffer fools gladly?

[@AdultwithAutism]

I've seen the rise in home schooling in the US, and for the most part it makes sense. I'm unsure as to why schools have become political and push agendas, back when I was at school, it was just a poor education we had to contend with 👍🏻

[@bryanmerton5153]

Howdy Paul. Nice chat. I love my time off! I have reached a point in my career where I only work 8-10 days a month! If I could work less I would🤣. We have a system at work where one can sell their vacation back to the company and get the money but not take the vacation! Insane! Season wise I like sunny warm weather! I do not like the time change to winter. Plus I don’t like the time change anyway, well, because it a change🙃 I am right with you with regard to school. Here in the states it seems to be an axiom the one will go to college. I have never figured out why. For me it wasn’t a fit. I also completely agree that there is a lot of stuff we don’t need to know. We do have trade schools here but I am not sure how they tie into regular school. I also agree that experience is more valuable then a degree. Never made sense that someone who knows nothing gets to manage. Crazy! Great video, enjoyed the chat!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hey Bryan, 8-10 days a month is the dream!! But you're right, I'd still need time off too! I'm going to do a video of all the things that put me off summertime to explain it better at some point...maybe when it's summer and I'm moaning about it 😂

[@jasonclarke7422]

Hi Paul It was interesting listening to your experience of school, I ended up leaving at the age of 15 as I could no longer cope with the complete nonsense that they were trying to fill my head with, and in the first 5 years of leaving school I learnt a lot more than I ever did sat at the school desk. I was always a Jon Pertwee fan, A Slice O’ Cake An’ a Cup O’ Tea , no wonder why my English is so bad, I probably watched far too much Worzel Gummidge.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'd rather listen to Worzel Gummidge these days than a lot of people...made more sense!

[@hayleyscrafts39]

This is real talk. Very interesting and funny too. I'm waiting to be diagnosed as an adult and have a child who has asd. I really wished that the education back then was way different, because all school was for me also unfortunately was hard work, stress, anxiety. I remember when the teachers use to choose people to read and praying I hope they don't pick me. Lol It's definitely life experiences. Your video was really to the point and great, brought back memories. Keep going.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks, I'll keep making if people still want it 👍🏻

[@SweetiePieTweety]

The whole SAD Phenomena maybe you have lupus a sensitivity to the Sun🤷‍♀️…. The opposite side of the same coin of SAD but rarely recognized. Jimmy Buffet Math Sucks! And yes the whole school thing didn’t work for me or for my boys at all and maths is just no, not more, not more. Every point you made was excellent and spot on

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm probably just a vampire...although that didn't come up on my Ansestry DNA report!

[@SweetiePieTweety]

@@AdultwithAutism 🤣🩸👍

[@artisticautistic9664]

Same in usa and I agree

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@headcrabproduction8327]

I agree about the seasons part...hayfever and heat is not for me....its the irish in me for sure! Autumn is my fav season x

[@AdultwithAutism]

When I can start wearing long sleeves again, the weather is more my type 👍🏻

[@headcrabproduction8327]

Yes! Yes! Yes! To the teachers getting proper training...of recognising and helping individualistic Autistic traits in our young people! As a Mum whos son is struggling in his year 7 atm.... because they dont adapt his learning enough for him to enjoy school and learning. I wholeheartedly agree with you! I feel like every day he is there he is being overlooked for who he really is! It is soul destroying at times...just getting the recognition that he learns differently and has so much more to give. Belive me I have considered homeschooling, but Im such a soft touch with him at times I dont think we would get alot done. Plus I do want him to eventually be able to socialize more, if he can maybe...i worry about him being or feeling alone.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hone schooling is definitely the way forward...but it should be done with different parents, as like you say, you're a soft touch with your own kid! As for feeling alone, that is the most common thing parents worry about from the emails that come through. If your son misses other children, fair enough. But chances are, he might miss one kid in particular. As it really is all about quality over quantity. As a kid, I thought I missed people. As an adult, I can see that wasn't the case. I just didn't want to be absent enough where I could be bullied for not being around.

[@headcrabproduction8327]

Your teachers sound like the makings of a good drama series...Waterloo Road seems tame by what you described! 😅

[@AdultwithAutism]

I've not seen that. But yes, my school was...interesting to say the least 😂

[@turtleanton6539]

It really should and ut would helped alot

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@Zoe.8]

I liked learning triangles and stuff like that I did design communication although I was bad at doing course work at home at that time. I hated English at school, We did Macbeth (I'm similar age to you) and it seemed like we were studying this book for the whole year 😄 I couldn't take in any of it. I didn't get it. I love art. Don't worry about kids having to study maths until they are 18 years old either it won't happen because there aren't going to be any teachers left to teach them up until they are 16 let alone 18 years.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, good point! Maybe Rishi should have remembered there are more schools in England than the ones the toffs go to! Ones that actually have problems.

[@artemisXsidecross]

There may be nothing wrong with us, but what is wrong with a culture that makes working for living exhausting. A hunter gather society worked 15 to 20 hours a week. How do you think they would react if they changed places with us? Being meek would seem unlikely. Read ‘Capital in the Twenty-First Century’ by Thomas Piketty to see why a long list of things have hit the skids.

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's not the best version of existence I'll grant you that. Many more productive ways to be than grinding until you die!

[@artemisXsidecross]

@@AdultwithAutism It may be how you define 'grinding until you die'; your complaint seemed to be a a complaint of note. ✌

[@heinrichtavaresdearagaodur4948]

Autistic here (I think) I never took myself as a dumb person, but never really thought about myself as a genius, but I take myself as someone with an intelligence above normal But one thing that always bothered me, is that everytime I need to learn something new, things have to be explained in a very simple way, and every time someone learned things fsster than me, it always upsets me And in the end, I always get that feeling: oh now I get it, is it that easy? Is it because I need to know always the why and the hows? Don't know if anyone could tell me if you're like this as well ... would mean a lot to me (Left this comment regarding the video's title) Edit: I'm definitely autistic, I feel the same about education just as you spoke about it (I actually enjoyed dissecting the mouse) I am Portuguese, and it always bothered me why I had to read Camões for a full year

[@AdultwithAutism]

I am the same with learning. Sometimes it takes longer to absorb the education, but once it sinks in, it makes perfect sense and I will remember it forever more. I also need accurate instruction too. I like to know the boundaries I am expected to perform within. So spelling it out sometimes, the really simple way, is exactly what I need. Removing all the nonsense surrounding it. Just get straight to the point.

[@heinrichtavaresdearagaodur4948]

@@AdultwithAutism My words exactly: straight to the point It always nags me, when I need to watch a KZbin video tutorial, and that someone keeps talking about everything else and never nearer to the point

[@AdultwithAutism]

I know that feeling. I want to see what they are talking about, but spend the first 5 minutes asking for likes, notification alerts and subscriptions...they might get one if they just get ti the point 😂

[@PlanetZhooZhoo]

I am so upset that I memorised how to solve quadrilateral equations and never once needed to use that in 45 years. 😂

[@AdultwithAutism]

You just never know!! I'm sure it'll save your life...maybe.

[@PlanetZhooZhoo]

@@AdultwithAutism 😂