Adult with Autism | Autism & Working From Home | 83

Being Autistic and working from home for me is a perfect combination. But if you listen to some prominent figures such as Elon Musk and Alan Sugar, home workers are lazy and should be terminated from employment.
This is one of the most short sighted views I have heard in a long time, especially when if anyone took the time to talk to Autistic Employees, they would see that most of the time, it isn't the job that is the concern, it is everything that surrounds it that isn't critical to ensure you work well, but they are things you are strongly judged on, which is unfair.
Working from home allows us to remove a lot of fluff that isn't important, and to focus on what is...when you sit in my corner of Autism anyway!
0:00 No Hair
0:50 Grumpy Email Response
3:00 Working from Home
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[@Erik-the-Southern-Viking]

Neurotypicals ENJOY the small-talk banter & socialising: it's absolutely what 'makes their day' at the Office. They ABSOLUTELY CANNOT Comprehend how an individual could NOT like it or enjoy it! This is the 'Great Divide'...... Us & Them

[@AdultwithAutism]

An interview is a personality test, not a competency based assessment. Being part of a team is about how personal you are with others, and not measured on your work ethic and assistance in solely work based tasks. Promotion isn't achieved by the strength of your ideas or investment, it's measured on your grasp of workplace politics. So we're hard working, focused, dedicated, want the best, and strive for it. But can't do the parts not on a job description, and that's the part that matters to others. We're not wrong 👍🏻

[@rose4490]

What I really can't stand is when there's a person who is always cracking unfunny jokes, but all these people laugh to be polite. If I don't laugh to be polite I'm somehow rude, or obtuse. I kinda always feel like I would be doing the failed comedian a disservice by laughing, because I would be encouraging the unfunny jokes. It's not like the people laughing don't talk behind anyone's back anyway. The way a lot of austistic people are about being honest, or literal really resonates with me. Generally most people with autism strike me as relatively benevolent.

[@tankster5826]

I just hated head games office women played thinking they were getting ahead when there wasn’t even any advancement for them. So stupid.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I just want to do my job. Games are by far the worst.

[@DeluxeGroupie]

Oh the commute... when I was still working in an office the tram ride there took me about an hour. One day a deaf couple sat in the seats in front of me and started a conversation in sign language. Their hand movements overstimmulated me so much that when I needed to change into another tram I got into the wrong one...and then again...and then once again! Came over an hour late to work that day. On another day a workmate offered to drive me back home from work, which I accepted. The traffic was absolutely insane that day, and just watching the madness did cost me more energy than the whole workday before. It's just not a viable option for me to commute that long every day.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I hear you. Its why employers need to understand not everyone who wants to work from home is trying to trick the company. Some of us need to do it for reasons they're not thinking of.

[@duikmans]

The people that want to you to get back to the office probably hate it that employees got a better work-life balance. When I hear them talk about how they missed being in the office and how it invigorates them and why we should be grateful that we can get back to the office, I only think, "speak for yourself". Good thing that I'm lucky enough that I get to decide when I come in because my reports consist mainly of service technicians, so I'm also considered to be on-the-road, despite having in fact an office job... And, yes, I'm an autistic who leads a team: I survive by delegating a lot, which apparently makes me a good people manager (much to my own surprise). Don't get me wrong, though: I hate office politics and talk around the coffee machine. I just work there for a living, so let me do my thing.

[@AdultwithAutism]

'Let me do my thing', that's all I want to do in work. I'll do it 100% for what's needed, but all I want to do is the actual work 👍🏻

[@lucypullin786]

Hi Paul, it's such a shame that the guy who emailed you didn't bother to watch the rest of your video. Your videos are fantastic (the best I've come across because your so grounded and honest and relatable. Your videos are so helpful and supportive to me and realy help me out of a dark place when I find myself struggling. You can tell you're such a lovely, grounded and honest person. I recently finished an inclusive education course and they told us that the correct term is 'I am autistic' because if you say 'I have autism' it's like a Chinese person saying "I have Chinese". But each to their own and we can say whatever we like. It's not bothered me one bit because I relate more to a real life autistic person. I can realy relate to the sensory overload on the way to work. I used to hate the bus so much that I used to walk for miles so that I only had to get the one bus. Small talk was and still is a huge problem for me. I can easily be ignored or excluded because I struggle to perform. Now that I know I'm autistic, I've realised that I can go into a bit of a shutdown and struggle to talk because I've probably not done much other than gardening, watch true crime shows and listen to music 😂 anyway, sorry for ranting on. Thanks for another brilliant video 👌

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Lucy, that made me laugh. But I can 'have' Chinese people over at my house, it doesn't make them any less Chinese! It is all about how you craft the sentence to make it fit narratives. I will always say it doesn't matter how you refer to it, as everything I am is not because of my Autism, but everything I do has the ability to affect it. And don't worry, it is never a rant! 👍

[@lucypullin786]

@@AdultwithAutism after a couple of mojitos the Chinese thing just made me laugh too 🙊

[@AdultwithAutism]

Mojitos! Fancy pants.

[@lucypullin786]

@@AdultwithAutismlol 😂 Bank Holiday treat 😉🍹

[@theXaint]

I look at it like this; I am not this body, not this nervous system, but I get to experience this configuration for this life. Why would I then identify with it? From this perspective, 'with' is correct. But different strokes for different folks.

[@artemisXsidecross]

Bravo for the first three minutes where you set your perimeter of how you want your channel’s operating system to be. Everything you described about modernity with all its trappings is why we might have not even noticed our autism in a pre agricultural or industrial society or life style. By the time I was in my mid 30’s I learned how to make a living being a Union Journeyman Line Mechanic for Mercedes Benz and Toyota. I ate lunch in my truck and read. I coped and dealt with two 10 minute breaks with coworkers to survive and keep my job. I found that if I did quality work and solved their related problems they would leave me alone, I would do the same to those I worked with too. The fact that I did good work and I cared little how others thought of me seemed to keep my employer happy; I stayed out of co-workers way and they did the same for me.

[@AdultwithAutism]

It's all about finding the balance that works for all...even though we shouldn't need to, it's still an unfortunate prerequisite to get by in a workplace.

[@gavloft]

My special interest is Tony Blair. I always bring up Tony Blair in any small talk situation. That keeps them at bay.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Quite a specialist niche Tony Blair!

[@Erik-the-Southern-Viking]

Well Said Paul: Sid Vicious & Johnny Rotten nicely summarised it in 1979 with "Never Mind the B*llocks!"

[@AdultwithAutism]

They sure did 👍🏻

[@amyyaku5022]

I realized from my last retail job that I'm better off working from home. For me it was more the social aspect and juggling the heavy workload I had along with a micromanaging boss. He would waste my time asking me if I wanted to work more hours even after I said no, he would text me about work after hours (once he texted me after my last shift that week, so I blocked his number afterwards), he kept calling me on the intercom just to tell me to do something I was already doing everyday, and when my workload was the heaviest and I was doing my job correctly he kept bothering me to work on something else even while I was taking a break (at my job store signs take priority, then tags, but he wanted me to work on tags first). He gave me a migraine, I was almost crying from the stress, and I ended up leaving early that day. Actually, I had a lot of absences solely because I just wanted him to leave me alone and let me do my work. I tried setting healthy boundaries and communicating how his actions were unacceptable, but while it was technically harassment, my store manager excused his behavior, saying it was "his job" and wasted 30 minutes of my shift to tell me to "respect my boss" and "do whatever your boss says" things that had nothing to do with the situation. I ended up quit that job about a week ago. It was only part time and the pay was decent, but I couldn't stand dealing with managers like that.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I don't blame you for leaving. The thing managers and workplaces need to understand is that we are not there because we REALLY want to be, we're there for the financial side of it. We will do our skill exchange for the finance...but what we won't do is be treated poorly as there isn't an incentive for that. Your manager sounded a disaster! I've had micromanagement before, and they might as well just say 'I absolutely don't trust you'. It'd be quicker. We definitely benefit from home working. Hopefully there is something like that for you 🤞🏻

[@fabiana-dep]

It is crazy the lot of things I do everyday just to avoid people. I never ask for help or favors because of this. But its better for my mental health

[@AdultwithAutism]

I can relate to that 👍🏻

[@MartKart8]

When Elon Bought Twitter, I was shortly getting bombarded by Twitter bots, I mainly use it to follow a indie game developers. I hate small talk those irrelevant conversation.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I'm much more comfortable in silence than engaging in small talk.

[@artemisXsidecross]

@@AdultwithAutism 👍

[@whitneymason406]

I always hated going into my boss's office not only because it made me nervous because I always felt like I was in trouble but it was because she wore a lot of perfume and I get migraines easily when stressed! Great topic!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Perfume is tough to be around. But then I have never been a big lover of making yourself smell so much that everyone is forced to smell you.

[@rose4490]

I was diagnosed with BPD, but relate to certain characteristics of Autism & ADHD. I hate having to navigate office politics. 🙄 I used to bring magazines to read during breaks, lunch and downtime at work, and people were wondering why I wasn't talking with the groups of people. I would go outside to smoke, and for whatever reason people thought it was rude that I wasn't sitting with others and talking. My job was in customer service/tech support, and customers could be so mean, and rude so I really enjoyed an escape, unless I was freaked out from a particular customer interaction. Unless it's my bestfriend, a topic I'm interested in, or there's a problem I just want to relax. I've never thought of myself as snobby, or rude, but people have told me I'm weird all my life. It really baffles my mind that people would rather have small talk than stimulating, or interesting talk. 🤔 I used to wish that aliens would abduct me, and take me away from everything. I would fantasize that aliens would land on the football field during halftime, because yes, I was in the marching band. 🤓

[@kendalltaylor2644]

Everything you said about the workplace is spot on, especially the political part and small talk. What does sitting and chatting idly about people’s personal life have to do with my ability to do my job? And isn’t that draining and also taking time away from what we’re supposed to be doing? I can’t do it.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Me neither. Not because I'm rude, just because it's not an interest of mine, and I struggle to connect with things outside my interest group 👍🏻

[@beginning280]

Very much relate. I avoid times at work where people are aimlessly congregated and chatting, I haven't yet eaten in the staffroom. I do worry that people will start seeing me as weird seeing as I haven't been at this workplace long, but when people do chat to me or I to them I make an effort to listen and have a meaningful conversation- it's just that I simply can't do it as often as them. Thanks for the video.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I understand that. I sometimes overcompensate in the things I can do, to hopefully throw shade on what I cannot.

[@kdcraft89]

I had a job and was very good at it. I think some people were threatened by this and started rumors about me that were not true, just made up stuff. If it had had a grain of truth, I would have understood, but it was total fiction. Weird. One woman gave me the cold shoulder and when I was assigned to do some work with her literally would not speak to me. And more. I used to cry for hours after getting home on Friday and started to come up for air by Sunday only to go back on Monday. Luckily, I got out from under that unit and things improved. I liked the job itself, but the people were toxic. This was the worst job I ever had. Most just had challenges because they weren't compatible with autistic people. The rest of them, as you describe consisted of masking to be a "team player" when it was all superficiality that took time and energy away from the job which I was good at and just wanted to do. One of the worst parts of some of those was having to attend various "trainings" that were psychobabble. I don't mean training to do the actual tasks, that would have been fine.. In one we had to stand in a circle and give the person in front of us a back rub. Somehow that was seen as building trust. UGH! Some of this type of training is little more than brainwashing to conform to some fad idea. In the US, lots of money is spent/wasted on such things. I knew nothing about autism at that time, but now I see how I just gritted my teeth, wanting to escape and endured it, but nothing was as bad at that toxic-people job.

[@AdultwithAutism]

There isn't a chance of giving a back rub to anyone! Let alone a co worker...or receive one. I'd love to know who these people are who think stuff like this is a good idea. There can't really be people who enjoy it surely...

[@duikmans]

No back rubbing with me (the horror) but a lot of online courses that just make little to no sense and are not related to the job... They're part of the "management operating system" (that's how they call it, I kid you not), but I just call it a load of BS.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Online courses confuse me if they can't be taken to another employer. They're clearly not suitable then 🤔

[@duikmans]

@@AdultwithAutism It gives some HR director n opportunity to boast about how much they invest in the continuous training of the employees and live-long learning etc...

[@kdcraft89]

Agree about the HR directors. When they were personnel directors they made sense, but now it's just some unneeded layers. Maybe there are "goals" they have to meet or some bureaucratic mandates. All fluff and nonsense. @@duikmans

[@AndersmitLizenz]

I started my channel a few weeks ago and the first comment was about me using the therms "aspergers, disorder, etc" okkkk... i love your videos!

[@AdultwithAutism]

You use what you're comfortable with. No one is obliged to watch 👍🏻

[@AndersmitLizenz]

@@AdultwithAutism the joke is, i just said that people used to use the therm "aspergers" but now the therm is nolonger used😅

[@AdultwithAutism]

Many peoples diagnoses papers say Aspergers and not Autism. And a lot of Autistic / people with Aspergers thrive on accuracy. So they will say they have Aspergers. Doesn't make them wrong.

[@rubycubez1103]

This is really a great video! I agree especially with the social aspect. I was at my previous in office job for 9 yrs before quitting about 2 yrs ago. Socially, it was difficult. Ppl thought I was antisocial and would "joke" with me about hating ppl. I hated that especially considering how sensitive they knew I was. I think about those ppl everyday since I left. Its been 2 yrs! I hate that part of my brain. Why does it still affect me? While I was there I lost a lot of weight because of medication. One woman started rumors about me being on drugs. My quirks mixed with my introversion, I can see why it was believable. Yet these ppl never even saw me drink alcohol. If it wasnt for my appearance, it was how I spoke. I think smart but talk dumb. I also come across as more masculine than feminine. I was an excellent employee and can hyperfocus to get work done. Sorry about venting. I just don't know how to forget about this old job and ppl. Why is this so hard?

[@AdultwithAutism]

Not venting, I understand it completely. I will have stress about something that happened at school that didn't need to happen, and the feeling affects me as strongly today as it ever did.

[@rebecca.medicineeagle]

Thanks for your time Paul, this was another well thought out video. I love how raw and unfiltered you are, and your introduction was perfect. Simply put, if someone listening doesn't like what's being said - change the channel. Those of us who appreciate and relate to what you're saying are here to stay. Looking forward to your next video. Sending blessings your way from Northern Idaho, USA.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Hi Rebecca, exactly. No one is forced to watch my waffling, so there isn't really an argument to have. Just watch anything else! I know I'm not setting out to be purposefully rude or disrespectful, and thankfully, it's a minority.

[@EyeSeeThruYou]

Hi Paul, B&B suits you! Please ignore micro-sensitive people looking for things to complain about, so selfish. Have always loved working from home, _soooo_ much better than dragging ass into an office! The job I have now is ideal in most ways. We don't have many meetings or trainings, and when we do, it stays on task and gets over with. All the computer/administrative work is done at home. The bulk of my job is out in the field preparing, creating, and delivering environmental education in the municipality's ecological preserves or performing field monitoring (data collection on an endemic endangered avian species). It's great because working that way means the office politics is minimal to none. There is no "daily commute," because we schedule our own program and monitoring times at 25 different sites around the county. This helps avoid commute rushes. For me, the bonus is that I conduct all the evening and nighttime programs (such as learning about bioluminescence). Never rush-hour around the county then! Parking is never an issue. I can eat meals whenever I want, including while out in the ecological preserve. My "work" gear and attire can be used for all my own hiking and adventures, and purchases can reduce taxes since these are expenses necessary for the job. No more 5000 sets of clothes for work and "everything else," I don't miss that expense! I'm working in the best environment imaginable, don't have to engage in small talk to get to the the actual business, I can work alone to a large degree and when I teach the public, these are "interested friendlies" who *want* to be there, and no worries about having to feel obligated to "buddy" people. Anyway, I appreciate and understand your perspective, especially in terms of making certain people are OK. Makes sense to me. Thank you for the "You're not alone here" straight talk. 👍

[@jakke1975]

If all the people that didn't HAVE TO work in a specific work place would stay home to work, we're already be half way to solve our climate issues AND the people that actually have to be somewhere, wouldn't have to deal with so much traffic, there would be less accidents on the road and so on. Therefore, I find it criminal that any government doesn't actively punish companies for unnecessarily making the majority of the nation travel every single day. It is a very bad habit that people have created which has a hugely negative impact on billions of people every single day and making life so much harder and more expensive.

[@Zoe.8]

Hi Paul, great video. Thank you for doing this.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem

[@hugocervantes2199]

Amazing point of view! Kudos

[@corriruault6394]

Good one, spot on. I always enjoy your videos

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thanks Corri

[@matthewcochrane3750]

Yet again another Great video paul. But could we get a wee update on the pup lol 😆

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, yeah I will try and remember to talk about him in the next video. No doubt he will be involved in something newsworthy.

[@sherrelldalton6190]

Hi Paul! I just want to say I love your channel. Thank you so much for making these videos. I believe I am on the spectrum. I have not been diagnosed yet but I'm working on it.

[@AdultwithAutism]

No problem at all, glad you like them 👍🏻

[@EpiicxFuziion]

Love the jumper

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, me too. Had it on today in fact!

[@camellia8625]

Whilst I can see where the emailer is coming from (albeit somewhat pedantic); I fully agree with you that it should be up to autistic individuals themselves to determine how they introduce themselves. I also love your idea of a phased introduction into a work role.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Absolutely it should. I get told often my ways of referring to myself is 'harmful'. But you know who has never been harmed by it? Me. Proving, it's not harmful at all 👍🏻

[@marymakesmandalas6068]

Thank you. Yes!

[@AdultwithAutism]

You're welcome 😁

[@ShaneyMac28]

I couldn’t say it better myself - instant sub.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Awesome 👍🏻

[@mylonash7136]

I hear ya, Paul. I hope you can work something out that is best for you in regard to your work situation.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Thankfully my boss is decent. But the scope in how companies offer reasonable adjustments has a long way to go 👍🏻

[@mylonash7136]

@@AdultwithAutism A decent Boss is good. I would say that in my area companies are bending over backwards to provide reasonable accommodations. Significantly more than prior to COVID. It would be career limiting to make my autistic personality traits known in the context of my work but that will always be. The job is the job. I can take it or leave it but to ask for accommodations outside what is reasonably provided other associates would not make rational sense. Thoughts?

[@AdultwithAutism]

When I look at my reasonable adjustments, they're very reasonable. They impact nobody else, their workloads, yet they provide me with a little more wiggle room to work within. What I have found is that reasonable adjustments are live, so they can change along the way, and I have the feeling that I'm being a pain to them.

[@spidersylar]

I used to have to go into the office every weekday. When covid hit we all started working from home. There was even a 7 month period where I was home alone and the only people I'd see in person were people at ASDA (because it was almost impossible to get my usual delivery). Then we moved to hybrid working. It's a bit strange, I feel like the office is worse now than it used to be because I'm no longer accustomed to it. However, I'm currently only in once a fortnight so I get through the day by reminding myself that I'll be home the next day. I still try as hard as I can to get out of that one day! I agree with everything you've said. The politics, the small talk, driving etc. I hate driving, but have always said it's not necessarily the driving itself I hate, it's the other drivers. One thing I'd like to add as well is I used to take a lot more sick days. I almost never take sick days working from home. I have a very sensitive stomach so 90% of the sick days were due to that. That's a lot easier to manage when at home and I have a bathroom right next to me 😅

[@AdultwithAutism]

I agree. I'd be absent more if I wasn't home based 👍🏻

[@markty01]

Hi Paul. I've been working from home since COVID lockdown in March 2020. It does have many advantages and conveniences but it is also very isolating. I can't say being in the office is any better with all the things you describe so maybe I'm just never happy 🤓 anyway, I enjoy your videos and have watched many. Wishing you the best from the USA.

[@AdultwithAutism]

All the best 👍🏻

[@SoakedInBleach17]

Hi Paul. Thank you for this video. Had a half an hour discussion with someone from work about how important it is for me to be able to work from home with the equipment supplied by work which they refused to do. It frustrates me to think this is also stopping me from performing at my best and does not allow for reasonable adjustments if my workplace are offering WFH and not supporting me to actually do so efficiently. The conversation naturally ended with “we’ll see” which -when I was a child meant “no”. Your videos, as always, leave me tearful because I can relate so heavily. As informative as they are, even if I were to show my boss this to give them a hint of what it’s like to be me everyday it would not scratch the surface. I recently moved house further out from Leeds city centre and I now have to spend more time in my car to get to the office, meaning more interactions with idiots who feel like they’re more important than I am to cut in front of me when I haven’t given them way because they drive a Mercedes and I drive a Fiat 500. I’m also a woman so my chances of being heard/noticed are slim. I believe I’m just frustrated and left with the question every day: is life supposed to be this difficult? Am I supposed to find every aspect of living this hard? And not a day passes where I don’t feel like this. Your videos and podcasts help me through the day and at work. I don’t think I could cope without hearing someone say the things I think a lot of the time just to know I’m not crazy, just autistic. Thank you Paul ❤

[@AdultwithAutism]

I am going to do a couple more work related videos and go a bit more into depth about the legal side and how to approach your employer. Hopefully they'll help as I also want to share my actual reasonable adjustments I have in my workplace 👍🏻

[@TheBergmaster]

After mulling it over for months and not being sure whether there was any merit in getting an official diagnosis, i've finally started the process of getting an assment at age 52. Great channel btw!

[@AdultwithAutism]

Good luck on your journey, and thank you 👍🏻

[@zxbn4566]

I am right with you on the time-waste and stressfulness of commuting back and forth every day to an office if you are doing white collar work that can be done by logging in remotely. During the initial year of the pandemic I put my foot down and said I was staying home. I worked from home for 12 months, never once showing up at my city centre office. Nothing went wrong, nothing went amiss. Now I work one day a week in the office, four days at home which is very good. I work in a team of engineers, quantitative modellers and data analysts, who are highly qualified and tend naturally to be reserved socially, regardless of whether they are actual introverts (probably most are). That means there is no expectation of gregarious social behaviour at lunch breaks etc. and we all feel the same about those ghastly team building stunts. There is essentially no office politics. So there are occupations, there are workplaces, where autistic people with low social motivation but strong job self-motivation fit in naturally. Although I consented to resume working one day per week in the office as a concession, most weeks I value that one day with my colleagues. A lot of our work is of a developmental, suck-and-see nature; Would this be a good way to get something done? Shall we change to this? Would this work? I'm going to try this, what do you think? kind of thing, and nothing beats being beside each other for tossing ideas around, and helping each other out. Because we are all on the nerdy side anyway, we are all on the same basic wavelength. I have previously been in one workplace where there were skulking office rats, individuals plagued by performance insecurity, clique-ism, favouritism, and it was not good, for me at least. I should have exited sooner, but it was an extremely specialised field where I was uniquely qualified. But it did my head in in the end, and it precipitated a career change, which in hindsight was absolutely the right thing to do. I'm not suggesting you do the same because I know you feel entirely comfortable with your field of work, and it seems a natural/appropriate one for an autistic person.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I hear you. Thankfully when I'm not on sites I have to visit, 200+ of them so it's a different place most days, the admin side is done from home. But being able to just focus on the job description makes the world of difference. Most people I speak to who are Autistic and out of employment state the reasons they left was politics, small talk, coworkers being too personal. When we are left to do the work, we are much more productive 👍🏻

[@gibidygubidy]

Liveable shit... you put up with it. Sleaford Mods.

[@Newtage]

My skills and interests are unfortunately not the type where i can work from home, so pretty much every job I've had I hate within a few weeks. Pretty much every point you made in this video about how incompatible workplaces are for autistic people resonates a lot with me, but I also have the added issue of having extremely varying rates of productivity I will start a job and learn it very quickly, they're almost always impressed by that and expect that from me from then on, but then comes the burnout where, for example I would sew 200 garments in a day and once burnout hit it dropped to 50. Id be able to clean so efficiently in another job that I had time left over to do extra or hop over to help out another cleaner then burnout hits and I can barely manage to get my area clean and need help myself. Not one employer has known how to deal with this and they let me go before the probation period is up. Its exhausting. I even tried being a support worker for autistic adults at one point (before I was even diagnosed with it!) And I struggled through 12hr mixed night and day shifts with a 2+hr, 2 train and a bus commute because I liked the job and thought it would get easier. I ended up leaving as I couldn't bear to see the mistreatment and injustice when reports I made went nowhere. People there genuinely cared more about socialising than the support they were supposed to be providing. Last straw with it was when a service user I was specifically paired with (because i had highlighted a bunch of issues with his care, and facilitated a way better living situation for him with my manager) died, because the people who were supposed to be supporting him were too busy chatting in another room. Small talk literally killed, that day 👍🏻

[@AdultwithAutism]

I hear you there. I worked to the point of burn out far too many times, and as you say you can help others...but don't receive the same investment from others. Unfortunately for me, that work ethic was drummed out of me by countless bad experiences. Now I do my job to the best of my ability, but nothing more. I will still get invested in projects, but I am done continually going the extra mile, just to have it given more work as the 'thanks'.

[@maxemerg]

In the US, I think the push against working from home is that most employers are still paying by the hour because it's still the best way to exploit their employees and hide how much they're actually worth.

[@AdultwithAutism]

The same for most employers. Even the board at Panera have come out and said employees aren't motivated to make money for the shareholders...erm yeah! Why would low wage employees want to make money for rich people who do nothing?

[@Zoe.8]

Paul I have the exact same thing with the creosote smell! It must also be our age. Honestly I think everyone used it for their fences back in the 1980s. I remember walking down my road when I was young and running my fingers and hand along all of the front garden fences that were wood vertical slats most of them. Some houses had brick walls. The smell was so strong to me and used to always be more on the sunny hot days and that's what the smell makes me think of. I think it's not used as much now. I am the same with smells as you. I was explaining to someone yesterday that for me it's not necessarily what others may consider bad smells that I can't tolerate but certain strong smells for example perfume and aftershave on the train! Like you and weed...I can't stand weed. Also boeeey close smells and packed lunches.. yuk. I remember as a kid hating walking past the packed lunch section at school it used to make me feel sick, to this day I've never tried a pepperami LOL

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, packed lunch smells were always a trigger for me too. Sandwiches wrapped in cling film...tasted of cling film! And smelt of it too. It was gross, and no one else knew what I was on about.

[@Zoe.8]

@@AdultwithAutism I have to wrap sandwiches with foil I don't use clingfilm

[@sophya5796]

​@@Zoe.8 Baking sheet paper is a great option too, use a rubber band or some tape to secure the wrap 👌

[@AdultwithAutism]

You're living in the year 3000 with that kind of thinking!

[@sophya5796]

@@AdultwithAutism Haha, besides not stinking, paper wraps are VERY cheap, easier for the environment and you don't need to "special" sort them after use (like aluminium). And yes I'm aware not everybody cares about sorting but WHY does not everybody care about sorting!?! //confused autistic screaming// 😂😂

[@TheFishman3226]

Im sharing this with my employer.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Please do...and look out for a video soon where I share my reasonable adjustments I have in work 👍🏻

[@theXaint]

I look at it like this; I am not this body, not this nervous system, but I get to experience this configuration for this life. Why would I then identify with it? From my perspective, 'with' is correct... but different strokes for different folks.

[@AdultwithAutism]

Yep, people can identify with their individual difference however they want...they just need to understand I am also afforded that same right. Still brings annoyance buy, it isn't me getting annoyed 👍🏻

[@theXaint]

@@AdultwithAutism by the way, thank you for the honest content! You're helping me a lot. I just wanted you to know.

[@EpiicxFuziion]

I think I’m too broken now to be rebuilt. Having a young male boss who’d been convicted of abusing his wife and child then start to bully me rather than be fired, I became so angry at the injustice to the point I am now 53, unemployed and suicidal.

[@AdultwithAutism]

I hate how we are the ones perceived to be the problematic ones, yet we try our hardest for everything to be calm...and then become a target for it. Sorry to hear that.

[@Hypnobreast]

Hi Paul, thanks for sharing, it’s really helpful. I’m awaiting an ASD assessment and relate a lot to the things you described. Where you mentioned you’re asocial, and you get nothing out of socialising, were you the same as a child or did you have friends? I feel like I’m asocial as an adult, but not sure if I was the same as a child. Filling in my pre assessment questionnaire is causing me issues

[@AdultwithAutism]

When I was a kid, I adored my friends. I wanted to be everything to them and for them. Would have fought their battles and never wanted them sad. Then a friend was nasty to me, and it absolutely crashed down my vision on what friends were as up to that point, I thought you were friends forever and we all felt the same. Naively!

[@Hypnobreast]

@@AdultwithAutism I’m sorry to hear that. That must have been traumatic 😢. I hope things are going well for you. A similar thing happened to me in my late teens, and I’ve struggled to trust people since. Im now I’m 34.

[@AdultwithAutism]

@Hypnobreast I'm more than okay about it these days, as I realise now that I'm not the one who lost anything from old friendships. They took, I gave. So they lost my assistance and care, I gained it back for myself 👍🏻

[@Hypnobreast]

@@AdultwithAutism I know you say you’re asocial. But truly I believe there is a tribe out there for everyone.

[@AdultwithAutism]

@Hypnobreast there definitely will be a tribe out there for everyone, I've no doubt. My tribe would be okay with a 5 minute check in once a year! But jokes aside, I really wish there was a way to assist in helping people find their tribe.

[@SarahDale111]

I've got autism. I've got green eyes. I am autistic. I am green-eyed. What's the diff? My eyes are tired from rolling so hard. 🤪 I wish I had some help to figure out what work I could do from home. I recently started volunteering at a thrift store...three 3 hour shifts a week...and now I am in a bad bad burn out. I had to quit. I give up. 😞

[@AdultwithAutism]

You tried though. But like you said, having some assistance to help navigate what is and what isn't a possibility would be a great benefit...if it was available. But the world is too busy pretending Autistic Adults are as mythical as Unicorns.

[@SarahDale111]

@@AdultwithAutism I gotta stop trying. I gotta stop seeking. I gotta stop thinking things could be better or different than they are. All of that just makes it worse. Thank God this isn't permanent. 🤪

[@AdultwithAutism]

Trying isn't the problem, the lack of support to keep trying and to be sustainable when you get there is the problem. I do wonder when the world will realise that we exist after the age of 18?

[@SarahDale111]

@@AdultwithAutism You're right. Frustratingly, it isn't in my nature not to try, but it does me more harm than good. Maybe if I pretend to be retired I can find a way to relax. 😁

[@AdultwithAutism]

Oooo retirement. If only!

[@panthera50]

I would love to be the driver of the Karma bus. 🙄

[@AdultwithAutism]

Haha, wouldn't we all! 👍🏻

[@dustistreet5108]

Well, I’ve got Autism. I’ve got white hair. I’ve got blue eyes. All of the above are my characteristics. The only thing that has changed is my hair color which started turning white from dark auburn when I was 15 years old.

[@AdultwithAutism]

👍🏻

[@b1ueberries]

What’re your opinions on rollercoasters?

[@AdultwithAutism]

I don't like them.

[@EpiicxFuziion]

I call myself an autist. However I don’t care what others call themselves

[@AdultwithAutism]

Yep. each to their own, and no one needs to get bothered by it.

[@RichCollis1889]

It’s not like you’d said “I’ve caught or developed autism” what a woke

[@AdultwithAutism]

'Caught' Autism 🤣