Adum & Pals: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

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[@disgruntledcashier503]

So canonically, since vampires are dead they don’t produce new bodily fluids. According to Stephanie Meyer, the reason Edward could conceive the baby was because being in the warm ocean heated his balls up enough to... uhhhhhh... unclog the pipes.

[@shineymightyena]

Wait hold on "the warm ocean" they're in the PNW in the middle of the fucking night, warm ocean my ass, Meyer

[@meangreen8873]

@@shineymightyena Maybe his balls were really cold

[@ActuallyAnanya]

@@shineymightyena they were on an island near Brazil for their honeymoon, so yeah the ocean could've been warm

[@pczb2692]

@@ActuallyAnanya I'm from Brazil, that's not exactly how the ocean works, people still fuck on the beach every now and then, but it's not miraculous like that

[@ActuallyAnanya]

@@pczb2692 fair enough, tbf hardly anything in this series makes sense lol

[@seraphin-e]

Adum yelling "Noooooo" when the imprinting happened is my favourite part of the whole commentary.

[@seraphin-e]

15:33

[@seraphin-e]

15:39

[@Gore6194ever]

I knew about this scene and waited for MONTHS FOR THEM TO GET HERE AND I'M NOT DISSAPOINTED!!!!

[@mothernyxious7097]

You’d love his life is strange play through

[@kurgans]

I didn't know they didn't know...

[@judeslater4981]

That scene of Edward looking up demon babies is eerily similar to that scene in Catwoman where Patience looks up cats in history

[@FuryXDMGS]

Cats *DOT* women

[@athenajaxon2397]

Cinematic excellence

[@guardianhirro]

"the demon baby in history"

[@Sandux930]

immortalcum i still think its a edit or something like what

[@CEAsfg]

The Cat in History

[@user-lb9xw4xf2q]

Jacob imprints on Bella's newborn Adum: Existing disgust grows Gael: Dog privilege stammers to make excuses Scoot: Team Jacob even more

[@dodojesus4529]

Wasnt he the one who knew about sphinxs cat too

[@1WEareBUFO1]

Gael never stammers, he whimpers because he is a good dog.

[@ShakespearsCyst]

Aw man, Bella dies in BD part one and then BD part two is just Edward and Jacob trying to raise a demon baby together. I smell a spinoff sitcom

[@deborahamos5401]

AU where it's the two immortals trying to make a peace treaty because they both gay boys sounds WAAY more interesting

[@irresponsibledad]

I've read that manga. I think it was called "My Werewolf Otosan Wants to Do THAT With Me?"

[@wdf70]

Two and a Half Monsters.

[@lostartem]

holyshit yes

[@rocklobster590]

two cryptids and a baby

[@songbird7450]

The CGI Baby is the king of all sleep paralysis demons.

[@ringodeathstarr6070]

*DABABY

[@_alex_y.not_]

Only made funnier that it was used in lieu of an even worse looking prosthetic one.

[@emilyrose5319]

Have you not seen the demon animatronic they were gonna use before they decided to go with CGI

[@songbird7450]

@@emilyrose5319 I just looked it up and let out a sound that can only be describes as animalistic. What the hell is that thing. It looks like a baby that melted and was then unprofessionally reassembled. Jesus Christ... the CGI thing might be the king of sleep paralysis demons, but that animatronic is the god emperor... holy shit. For anyone who wants to look deep into the abyss and torture their visual cortex, here's a picture: i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/05/21/19/28673586-0-image-a-19_1590084206007.jpg

[@songbird7450]

@@_alex_y.not_ I looked it up and... the thing in the movie is BEAUTIFUL

[@0ri0nssuspenders]

"He's wearing a shir-" - Rips off shirt -

[@JD3Gamer]

That Edward looking up immortal baby scene was straight out of catwoman

[@comixproviderftw_02]

TIME FOR THE REMIX

[@jenksyart]

The baby in history.

[@KaladinVegapunk]

i had the exact same though, they even use the same stock photos i mean Kronos devouring his children painting is about greek myth, Zeus siblings being eaten before he freed them, its not remotely related to vampires

[@undead923]

SHARED UNIVERSE B A B Y

[@edenorsomething7630]

They also put an image of a skeleton yokai (Gashadokuro)? The huge skeleton that has absolutely nothing to do with vampires or babies

[@NeonSparkels3867]

The sharkboy comparison was the most accurate thing lmao

[@PurplePineappleChannel]

Especially considering who Sharkboy is portrayed by

[@comixproviderftw_02]

It all comes back around

[@poppag8281]

@@PurplePineappleChannel its like poetry it rhymes

[@johnarbuckle2619]

@@comixproviderftw_02 It all returns to nothing.

[@IcePhysicsGaming]

Indeed...

[@bbrbbr-on2gd]

I just want to point out, that this is probably the first teen wedding in this town where the bride isn't pregnant.

[@ethandram]

they even make that joke in the movie… her high school friend (anna kendrick) says “yeah okay, SURE they’re not pregnant. who else gets married at 18?” it’s one of the funniest moments in the film.

[@Satherian]

"I have been saving my closing arguments for the last film" Oh boy, I can't wait for one of the last lines that Jacob says to Edward and to see the Olympic-level gymnastics they use to explain it

[@michaelm8852]

"So, do I call you Dad now?" I think that's it.

[@Satherian]

@@michaelm8852 Yep. It throws any argument that Jacob's just a 'protector' right out the window and proves that he's grooming the child.

[@michaelm8852]

@@Satherian "It's a wolf thing."

[@c-puff]

If Gael says anything involving "dog years" I'm throwing my laptop out the window and then myself.

[@matthew1882]

@@Satherian "Jacob mind telling me what you're doing in that discord channel?" "Sir Groomi-"

[@Grimwinn]

I appreciate the "let's film one scene on a street in Rio to prove we actually went to Rio" level of effort

[@nicolashadler]

I can't believe they actually CAME TO BRAZILLLLLLLL

[@jobane9726]

Eu não sabia disso também

[@Grimwinn]

@@nicolashadler and literally did nothing there, it's such a waste lol

[@bioticjedi3864]

Bet it was a vacation and they shot one shot to make it a tax write off

[@Grimwinn]

@@bioticjedi3864 dang you're right

[@Glassandcandy]

“Is this a Christian ceremony?” “It’s a Chris Chan ceremony” “I think it’s a Mormon thing” That’s such a perfect sequence, because Mormonism is basically the Christian equivalent to the sonichu universe

[@Eightsixseven23224]

Chris and Mormons have a very similar approach to promoting their religion too. They insert it into every public interaction.

[@amyemery6405]

@@Eightsixseven23224 bruh what? I know tons of christians and only one talks about God semi-frequently, even then he doesn’t inject it into every sentence. This is a weird way to attack a religion bro

[@fatty1040]

@@amyemery6405 Hes not attacking it he's sharing an experience. Guess what most crazy people have religious beliefs too and some of them get lost in that belief thus ignoring others people perspective and calling them demons or under the influence of demons.

[@doctorbrown5957]

This comment aged very well

[@yomama9538]

Joseph Smith's OCs

[@DWAkhaten]

7:23 "If the rest of this movie is an abortion debate: best movie ever!" 7:41 "If this just turned into a body horror movie from here on out, that would be so sick!" You guys are gonna have a lot of fun with this one. :)

[@KimberlyByrdV]

"He got us a dog for a wedding present!" Oh God that had me ROLLING!

[@spookshowreviews7117]

I don't know if you knew this, but his eyes are red when he feeds on humans.

[@spookshowreviews7117]

@Random Username Yellow for animals, black for hungry. Pretty common knowledge

[@notscotthenson]

I can't tell if both of you are doing a bit or only one.

[@frankmerker630]

Was this communicated in the books or did people genuinely deduce this?

[@crustbucket2725]

I don't believe you

[@spookshowreviews7117]

@@notscotthenson I'm doing a bit

[@trkg1887]

11:36 they show Saturn Eating his child during the montage of paintings, which has nothing to do with pregnancy or vampires lol

[@thejalstergaming1366]

Admittedly it kinda relates because vampires? And eating humans? I guess?

[@calevoid]

@@thejalstergaming1366 but what about the Gashadokuro? The giant skeleton that spawns when people die starved and avenges them. Sure, it eats humans. But has absolutely nothing to do with vampires or babies

[@mastermarkus5307]

@@calevoid I noticed that too! I guess they just ran out of "creepy vampire and demon things".

[@sanjisins]

The commentary is the only thing that makes twilight palatable.

[@JohnSmith-yd5wq]

I skip over the movie dialogue, it just makes me want to vomit.

[@TheHorrorDevotee]

Oh god, the fucking commentary track of the movie. I've never laughed so hard in my life because it's just so clear how dumb Robert Pattinson felt the film was while doing it.

[@crazypant886]

Rifftrax is great too

[@AlexFenrirGochad]

@@crazypant886 I think that the best Riffs are on movies that have less dialog, so they get a lot of space to Riff, and Twilight has a LOT of room to talk over

[@GoddoDoggo]

Honestly, these movies are pretty funny even without commentary, just saying.

[@folderbloat7561]

I'm still kind of amazed that they managed to make an actor act out 'falling in love with and wanting to sexually groom a baby'. that's the most career and life ending thing you could probably do in a movie.

[@imaginaryfanboy]

15:05 - the part we've all been waiting for.

[@AdamFunk]

I've been waiting for that moment for months, Fanboy. LITERAL MONTHS. I'm so happy.

[@AdamFunk]

Background: I've seen these films because I walked in on some of my roommates MST3K-style-watching the second one and legitimately thought it was an SNL sketch of Pattinson and Stewart parodying the films...for a full two or three minutes. When I realized it was the real thing, I got elated and immediately sat down and marathoned the movies with them. I cannot recommend them highly enough. They're some of the best B-movies of all times. I'm so ecstatic that you all are doing this series.

[@miiihuel6228]

Man what is the clip from with the dude from soprano

[@miiihuel6228]

@imaginaryfanboy booty pls

[@trevorp8124]

Yep, as a childless gay man I can indeed confirm: Having kids results in Francisco José de Goya painting "Saturn Devouring His Son"

[@bums009]

So that's why the family living above me make so much noise...

[@Geospasmic]

I always imagined having kids felt like a nightmare demon sitting on your chest

[@calevoid]

And a Gashadokuro from asian mythology

[@capibaradeluxe9193]

As a latino autistic boy I can reconfirm

[@fatty1040]

Dont forget daughters. If you want to have a high nutrient intake you eat your sons but daughters for desert and your SO for superpowers.

[@rainbowphoenix1363]

I love how the idea of her being pregnant was so far fetched for them that they were like "love this salmonella plot point!"

[@daveclarke1990]

Edward saying "Jacob imprinted" with the same dumbfounded confusion as Adum and Scoot is delightful

[@handsomelyerin]

adum's "hmm? oh no" when he realizes jacob was imprinting on the baby lmaoooo

[@sammcguire3798]

I think we all knew the CG baby would break all three of them, not disappointed

[@FalconsEye58094]

I remember every girl in the theater started screaming when he threw his shirt off, that was literally like the first scene of the movie

[@cartooncritique6625]

Pretty sure that's the only reason most of them were in the theater. XD

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

@@cartooncritique6625 as a girl who liked Twilight, that’s pretty much how it was Followed by the immediate regret when we saw the birthing scene

[@georgiemac1784]

Oooh I can't wait to see their reaction to the child's name if they thought Edward Jacob was bad 😂😂

[@esytc3201]

as a mormon, you'd think Meyer would shy away from condoning child-marriage but she really leaned into it

[@eastonsmith53]

Mormons have a long history of child marriage. Joseph Smith married 14 year olds in his mid-thirties.

[@typhoonzebra]

She steered into it harder than you'd steer into a pedestrian on a quiet night.

[@sagecolvard9644]

There's actually MORE child marriage in the books. The movies cut out another werewolf who imprinted on a child, whom he intends to marry.

[@Not_Always]

@@sagecolvard9644 Lmao. This is just funny and sad.

[@2devious724]

It's weird to look back at a time this recent when child grooming wasn't considered to be gross and evil by so many people. I remember a lot of girls trying to justify Jacob and the baby's relationship and it's even more disturbing to look back on now.

[@R_A120]

Outside of the fanbase I think most people saw it for the fucked up concept that it is to be fair

[@monkakonga4305]

What the fuck do you mean, it was always disgusting and evil. Fuck off. And girl tennagers are always dumb, nothing new here.

[@sol4925]

@@R_A120 Nah, even withing the fanbase a lot of them are critical. Most of the fanbase twilight still has grew up with it and at first enjoyed it uncritically, still enjoy it but can see it's huge flaws and still enjoy it but in a more critical way.

[@2devious724]

@@monkakonga4305 I know it was always evil, but it baffles me that I was getting argued against on it and that this didn't turn heads for publishers.

[@basementdwellercosplay]

Humanity was a mistake

[@jerraldwest8531]

Riffing theory; Edward only claims that Bella is the only girl he's fallen for or married because the first one was Ava Braun.

[@dumpsterdog879]

15:22 I'm dying right now cause Jacob is a Libertarian lmao

[@espurious]

Lol yeah, who likes books amirite

[@valerie3677]

Jacob says "taxation is theft" but what he really means is "age is just a number and I like weed"

[@albedo5455]

Because only Libertarians can be pedos?

[@25acpunderrated71]

libertarians are pedos now? is this where political discourse is now?

[@Azrael31337]

@@25acpunderrated71 the meme is "ancaps are pedos" and it's been around for at least 5 years.

[@kerobop]

"Einstein already covered this, my man. I don't even need to touch this." - Gael 2021

[@yamataichul]

The father is screaming i- no, the actor playing Bella-Hella dad is screaming inside the entire time

[@polaiswrong]

When they reacted to Jacob imprint on the CGI baby 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@dhorinfireheart99]

What’s awful about the dream wedding scene in this movie is that in Sweden where I’m from they had to edit that scene because the colours of the wedding scene made some people with epilepsy get seizures from watching it.

[@dhorinfireheart99]

@@helio7249 For real, and they had to edit and cut some sound cues that triggered the attacks as well! This movie is cursed through and through 🤣

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

Curious: what happened during IT Chapter 2 with that 10 min strobe light scene?

[@dhorinfireheart99]

@@sweetcinnamonpnchkin That’s an excellent question actually! Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 was the last time the Swedish cinema bureau did extra cuts or censorship on a movie (with the passing of a law that forbids any kind of censorship in cinema 2011). Sweden used to have both censorship laws for adults and children in cinema which meant there were movie scenes that were edited to correspond with the parameters that the Swedish cinema bureau had for both children and adults. So if the censorship law had existed by the time It: Chapter 2 came out then it would’ve been edited here in Sweden, but now they have changed the law so instead of editing they issue warnings if some movies have the risk of causing epileptic seizures and such.

[@RamiroBelmaresJr]

15:14 "Suddenly it's not the earth holding you here" Adam:- "Hmm??? OH NO!" 😂

[@hale-yk2ks]

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE BABY RENEGADE REVEAL OR WHATEVER THEY CALLED IT

[@espurious]

Revengeance?

[@thaddeuscruz5563]

My wifes friends kid is literally named renegade...

[@alvinyakitori8720]

@@thaddeuscruz5563 that's a terrible name

[@gloomy9100]

Its gonna be so good

[@nickd7036]

It's remarkable that the birth of the twilight series coincided with the beginning of the end of the world

[@TheGoldenSilhouette]

The baby imprinting scene legitimately almost ended one of my best friendships. My friend thought it was romantic. I thought it was creepy af. They called me a pedophile. :(

[@chbend]

Wow.

[@lounisbenmammar8255]

What

[@isaia8532]

That’s so ironic lmao

[@seanmacguire3324]

Bruh that have it the wrong way round

[@Not_Always]

"Baby" and "romantic" should never be in the same sentence.

[@Darklordiban7]

I love how Edward searches Google and finds the painting "Saturn Devourering His Son", which is now commonly attributed to Tarrare due to KZbin videos covering him. The idea of Tarrare actually being a half-vampire with the power to consume anything and being compelled to eat everything is hilarious.

[@DPedro3]

I love how they're progressively putting more and more effort into arguing about the team they're on

[@GippyHappy]

FUN FACT: Renesmee was born on September 11th

[@Zappa_boi]

Oh

[@thehermit8618]

I cant believe two tragedies occured in the same day

[@ceward28]

As I've learned from animorphs the shoes cannot be kept while morphing.

[@Jazzomancer00]

"he's a good murderer, like Light Yagami" One of my favorite jokes from this series

[@jackcharlotte25]

I love how Gael committing to this Team Jacob bit started out to mess with Adam for developing an actual emotional reaction to the story, and refusing to drop the bit led to him pretend-defend grooming. Don't do any ongoing bit that can be clipped out of context, kids.

[@vexedlex8230]

9:33 I love the increasing level of surprise.

[@lydiabeeler3539]

Listening to them figure out Jacob imprinted on a baby was the funniest thing ever

[@briankaslewicz6130]

16:38 getting real Henry Cavill in Justice League vibes looking at 'stacheless Charlie

[@zombiemomsen66]

15:55 *Its a wolf thing*

[@sunflower7194]

I love the guys basically screaming "He imprinted on bellas daughter?!"

[@doctorvladandhisbluejaysd2802]

Ah yes, what we've been waiting for... other than the Lion King review

[@mihirlavande]

Horseboi and KrimsonRogue doing Twilight Breaking Dong at the same time, man this is fun.

[@luiginastro8831]

Fuck, I can't wait for their reaction to the fight scene in Part 2

[@aurorajs4278]

i can't stop laughing at 'i think carlisle bought them brazil'

[@Sirvaria]

What always gets me is that the book explicitly describes that scalpels arent hard enough to cut baby vampire womb, so the blonde one has to chew open bellas belly....

[@Hoganply]

Now I know Stephanie Meyer's a Mormon, everything makes substantially more sense.

[@RoyalCrustle]

The reaction to the baby imprinting was PRICELESS. xD

[@iciajay6891]

I'm sick. So I'm re watching these. Thank you Twilight Brothers.

[@dd-iy7jw]

I appreciate mormon Steph had the baby be born even when it literally killed her mother

[@aliceduren6542]

I'm a Latter-Day Saint (mormon) and the church's view is that if the baby will kill the mother or is a still-birth, then abortion is necessary. think it's more a Stephany Meyer thing lol

[@dd-iy7jw]

@@aliceduren6542 I see, that's pretty cool to know actually.

[@dfmrcv862]

" *TWO WORLD WARS* and Bella is the best?" No, no... that's a valid question.

[@patrickkelmer6290]

Meyers face during her cameo among the wedding guests just screams “oh yeah, this right there on the aisle is me, oh yeah, the wedding I always deserved, getting married to the man I deserve, the life I actually deserve….oh yeaaah”

[@kajoliloli]

I feel like the director or someone on the effects team had an aversion to the "it's a baby, even if it's actively killing her" argument because that pregnancy was fucking violent

[@badmiracle]

that scene where the wolves are telepathically communicating is literally one of the funniest scenes i’ve ever seen in any movie ever. it gives me a laugh to this day.

[@MrHack4never]

I like how the vampire looks deeply hungover for most of this movie

[@SunlessPeriwinkle]

"he's gonna fuck that baby, TEAM. JACOB. FOR. LIFE" I fucking lost it lmao.

[@nataliehaag3595]

The fact that Adam included the Zootopia comic had me laughing pretty hard-

[@6Jx1chi]

7:40 "if this movie is an abortion debate--" boy oh boy.

[@Advent3546]

This is the one I have been waiting for the most.

[@SomeOne-vf1rs]

I guessed 50 million thinking “pshh, that’s way too high but whatever” and was immediately floored.

[@YoyoF37]

8:46 that bruh was so well placed

[@zombiemukbang7555]

'something just moved inside me' yo ive have babies and ive had bad wind and they do feel exactly the same at that stage

[@nimble1111x]

That this wasn't called "Fart 1" will forever sadden me....

[@JTProud]

Breaking Wind: Fart 1

[@wombspace_oxygenator]

the last one should be: Toilet - Breaking Wind - Fart Poo

[@madigable2125]

The one thing I will argue is that the music in these movies is the best thing about. Super Massive Blackhole during the baseball scene? Iconic.

[@isdel9474]

Not surprised Jacob imprinted on the baby after saying "Age is just a number, baby" in New Moon.

[@capsjukebox]

This is exactly the right amount of these movies I would ever want to see and in exactly the right context

[@jayymack1993]

Alice packed her bag lol that's why she reacted that way to the lingerie 🤣

[@redtexan7053]

15:15 whydontyouhaveaseatrightoverthere.jpg

[@Jahsizzl9]

“My demon seed into her. What do we do?”

[@littlemsterious991]

i cannot wait until you guys hear what Jacob says in the next one about his feelings for bella and resume it's so wild

[@dextercyanide8912]

RESUME SKSKSKSKS

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

Ive spent 5 months since they released the first Twilight commentary waiting for this exact moment when I could see Adum react to the cgi baby

[@gabrielmendozajr.1434]

"Life begins when you speak English" Dude I almost crashed my car listening to this while driving

[@duartevader2101]

I love Twilight and I love these videos. I'm gonna miss them.

[@problematicmonika3723]

Hopefully The Host next

[@demonnogo]

They should watch the Divergent series next.

[@problematicmonika3723]

@@demonnogo There was a series?!

[@demonnogo]

@@problematicmonika3723 Oh my bad, I was talking about the three movies that came out. Funny enough, they were planning on making a spin off series for Starz but that project got cancelled.

[@problematicmonika3723]

@@demonnogo good lord. Am I missing out by now watching them?

[@R3GARnator]

Imprinting is something that BABY animals do to their caretakers. This has it BACKWARDS.

[@Something_Maybe]

Jacob said “Age is just a number” in the second one. How did you not see him imprinting on a baby coming?

[@alicejp1231]

“If the rest of this movie is an abortion debtate..” ummmm😅

[@CEAsfg]

When Jacob imprints on the baby, it reminds me of the sene in a Family Guy episode when Bonnie and Joe have their baby girl and Quagmire comments: “I can’t believe she’s already 18.”

[@byHexted]

The worst thing bout that original Stephanie Myers cameo in the coffee shop is if I remember correctly she was on a laptop typing something, and I’m pretty sure it’s implying she was like writing Twilight since every person with a laptop in Starbucks is writing something

[@sorabora]

I think the book mentions the wolves have like sets of clothes hidden around the woods just in case which I always thought was a cute detail

[@closecall1516]

I’m not entirely sure Adum’s mention of Chris Chan at 2:15 aged the best it could

[@patrickkelmer6290]

16:48 ALL HAIL TO THE MARY SUE

[@improvwithlions4173]

I was crying laughing during the reaction to the imprinting scene

[@hellomyfriends9740]

11:37 reminds me of cat woman. When she searched for the word cat.

[@connors9597]

why were her eyes red in the final shot if she had just become a vampire and hadn't eaten any humans?

[@dd-iy7jw]

shh don't think about it we needed a cool shot

[@c.o7993]

Who knows, who cares? Maybe thats the natural colour

[@humanitronix]

unfortunately i read the books back in the day, and iifc, newborns always have the brightest red eyes that dull as time passes(for the regular human-slurping vamps, at least)

[@owie4070]

These guys have a juvenile sense of humor. I wonder if that's why I've been binge watching their vids since yesterday. 😄

[@matthewcrome]

"Directed by Ridley Scott" in reference to "demon seed" may be the best throwaway joke in Adum & Pals

[@FallenKuroTaiyo]

Ok, I hate that I apparently remember this from when I read this at 14: Because vampire women can't get pregnant, since vampire bodies can't physically change, they didn't know that a human woman could get pregnant from vampire men (which, in hindsight, is perhaps something they should have realized was a possibility, but that would require the characters to be smart lel) Also, yes, Edward had to bite the child out because dhampir babies are surrounded by some kind of special membrane inside the womb, which can't be penetrated by xrays or steel, so vampire teeth it is. They couldn't even get ultrasounds of the baby while she was pregnant lol (they actually showed that in the medbay, which, well, props, I guess?). Uh, what else... the pregnancy actually progressed extremely fast if I remember correctly? Also the contractions literally broke her spine and ribs. Rosalie (the blonde sister) also always wanted to be a mom so when she got turned into a vampire she never could have that so she lived vicariously through Bella during the whole thing (she was the character I hated the most in these books, no joke, she was just so awful all the time, and not even Bella deserved the way she treated her lol). Rosalie was 100% aok with Bella dying to give birth, and Alice was only so staunchly against having the baby because she actually really liked Bella and saw her as her sister, and would rather her live than a baby she died giving birth to. It was surprisingly nuanced for being written by a presumably anti-choice Mormon woman, tbh. Also I think the shifters actually hide stashes of clothes in the woods for when they change back? Like just little plastic bags with a change of clothes everywhere lmao. Edward injected her with his venom in multiple places to speed up the turning while she was still barely alive, because a dead person doesn't turn into a vampire, but if she turned while still alive her body would heal and go into her "most perfect" (blergh) state, as in what she'd look like at her healthiest and prettiest cos vampires are perfect (and like made of pseudo-marble lmao, they also smell like frankincense when burned) Jacob also goes on to claim he was only so obsessed with Bella because he was destined to imprint on her daughter, which you'd think would have meant that he'd also have the hots for Edward but that'd be gay and we can't have this in our good Mormon softporn fantasy novel. (why do I remember all this I am fucking 26 years old and haven't read this since I was 14)

[@Simonporter89]

It's somehow more dumb the more it's explained

[@FallenKuroTaiyo]

@@Simonporter89 Oh yeah, no doubt. I'm actually fairly mad at my brain for remembering this 12 years later, but what can you do.

[@ThePrestoGuitar]

11:30 this moment reminds me of that scene in catwoman where she googles 'cats. women'

[@pinkpink-kb6dl]

I would like a non problematic twilight remake soon. Make imprinting more of a soul sibling bond, make no one weirdly possessive unless it's seen as a character flaw, remove Mormonism, make Bella nicer to her poor father, but keep the baseball scene shot for shot.

[@notscotthenson]

*remove Mormonism* ...5 movies of dead air...

[@infiniteshay8660]

I could not make this up. But Meyer confirmed he imprinted on the egg cell which is why he cared so much about Bella.

[@MiraSubieGirl]

4:57 LOL white feathers??? I thought it was something else 😅😅😅