After Earth - Nostalgia Critic

[@HunterSlayer2727]

*Doug Raises Hand* Doug: "Can I skip this movie?" Will Smith: "DENIED, SIT DOWN!"

[@dragonempress8367]

XD norm of the north kids in a nutshell

[@Jackal_El_Lobo34]

Me: Daddy can I show emotion? Will Smith: DENIED, SIT DOWN!

[@dadeleemurphy85]

this comment deserves pinned.

[@norishimogawa6125]

"daddy would you like some sausages?" will smith: yes please

[@Unremarkable6969]

Hey, hey guys. Will Smith...as Shrek. It's gonna break a billion!

[@angbandsbane]

If the secret to defeating the aliens is remaining emotionless, Cypher better hope the aliens don't have any Chris Rocks in their arsenal.

[@VidWatcher01]

I came back to watch this video for this exact reason!🤣💀 $100 easy NC will reference that the next time he reviews a Will Smith movie

[@glennrollinson3806]

Cue the scene in A.I. where they're shoving the Chris Rock-Bot into a cannon!

[@Spuggky45]

Damn! 🤣🤣🤣

[@dnkakusei]

@@VidWatcher01 2 months later, we get a review where he manages to cram in a ton of Chris Rock slap jokes!

[@TRD57]

So good!

[@phantomtail2270]

Shyamalan: Can I Make A Sequel? Hollywood Producers: *DENIED!*

[@person-du8dj]

Shyamalan: can I make any movie? the public: DENIED

[@taylormansonshadicstorm9008]

Shyamalan: Can I make a sequel to The last airbender movie? Hollywood Producers: DENIED!!!!!!!!!!

[@DedricSilva]

And it was also going to be a multimedia franchise.

[@Charlie94781]

It would be interesting if the Skrels actually rescued the humans of the ‘lost’ starship and used the population as maintenance

[@harleycrabtree900]

As funny as Cypher Rage is, I'm laughing even harder thinking about his wife being called Mrs. Rage. 😂😂

[@romania5106]

Madam rage

[@DrDolan2000]

+@@romania5106 Even better

[@romania5106]

@@DrDolan2000 Quean rage the 3rd

[@Dvrkwulf]

But that sounds badass tho!

[@migsencarnado2261]

Denied!!!!!

[@JKPancake]

So if Mr Rage has no emotion how did he fall in love and get married and have enough passion to have a child?

[@johngervais230]

JKPancake I do believe he got married before the war began...

[@essentialjazzforaspiringmu1605]

Idk, that would be one terrible session.

[@KanishQQuotes]

Wife asks cypher , can i have an orgasm DENIED

[@randompeculiarintrovert8446]

DENIED SIT DOWN

[@scaily_5695]

JKPancake its mnight shamalon movie dont ask questions or you will ne danide

[@AnimeWolf5193]

Changes I'd make: 1. Cypher Rage is a celebrated hero, but not because he's emotionless. Supposedly, he just seems to have had no fear of the aliens, which "empathically" threw them off. 2. The tension is between his expectations and his sons performance as a cadet. We see the kid is pushing himself to meet his dads level, but is still being out-performed by the other cadets. This is made tougher when Cypher is brought on to lead an exercise for the cadets. Their travel via ship is interupted by unexpected asteroid (honestly anything) and they make a hard landing on a nearby planet. 3. When they crash, more people survive than just those two. It splits in half, (with communications in the other half) and Cypher was injured protecting some of the cadets. At least one stays for basic medical, while his kid and three or four cadets go find the other half of the ship. 4. As they go, they all barely survive each ordeal. (Maybe even lose one near the midway point to up the tension.) They get to the ship only to find one of those aliens hunted down the last survivors. They get the beacon and take it to the mountain. 5. Finally, in a moment as a father, not a ranger, Cypher confesses what he never told anyone. He had been afraid in his legendary battle, but not of the aliens. He had been afraid to die, never seeing his love again, or the child they were expecting. "Fear is just another tool you use to survive. Don't fight with it; _Use_ it." This gives the kid the motivation to finish off the alien with the other cadets and set off the beacon.

[@monsterhanna6691]

Hollywood needs to hire you NOW. 👏👏👏

[@l0sts0ul89]

@@monsterhanna6691 anyone really they aren't doing much good these days

[@samking2094]

Nah, have you heard the phrase "you can't polish a turd"?

[@alexjewett7455]

Look on the bright side. At least this movie doesn't have a stupid ass twist that makes no sense.

[@jarongreen5480]

Dang that actually sounds really good. Especially the last part.

[@herosshade2247]

Wait, that was Jaden's actual narration? I thought that was Doug doing one of his joke voices. Wow. That made it to the big screen.

[@andim.8788]

me too loool

[@dawnbreaker2912]

Sounds like a South Park Canadian narrating. "I remember Earth, guy."

[@Roxas80]

Isn't fear a survival instinct that prevents you from doing lethal and stupid things?

[@haku301.]

Terumi DENIED!

[@Mysticsword]

Sit down!

[@Okalani5000]

Apparently logic was denied in this movie though.

[@feebweed]

Yes

[@lookatthepicture4107]

Lethal and stupid things... Like this movie?

[@LucidFlight]

This is the future and they can't give a wounded soldier a prosthetic leg? @7:45

[@drops2cents260]

Nope, all the money previously earmarked for building prostethics went into the defense budget. Cypher Raige's cutlass didn't develop and build itself, you know. :-)

[@josephstahl9119]

*That's kind of dumb really.* *Giving the Man prosthetic's so he can get back in action is a sure better expenditure of resources then resources spent maintaining his health as an invalid.*

[@HellsRaven4444]

@@drops2cents260 Even better, they could have simply made a Prosthetic leg using the same technology for that shapeshifting cutless and get a really badass shapeshifting metal leg for that soldier. Seriously, this movie really underused a lot of their technology in their verse

[@EpicSB]

Simply to say it was DENIED! SIT DOWN.

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied.... Keep sitting

[@spiralhaze2070]

Alien creatures that can only detect fear? Uhhh here is a crazy idea future humans: ....rrrrrrrobots!

[@bigstunna2049]

woa true

[@dernamenlosefan]

I'm pretty shure in their universe someone suggested this too. But since that would mean Cypher Raige wouldn't be a badass hero anymore he DENIED this suggestion.

[@Leonardo-xz9xl]

And make them SIT DOWN

[@isaiahgarraway5568]

***** Scientist: sir I was thinking of a revolutionary way to defeat the Ursa. Cypher Rage and rangers: OK let's here it. Scientists: Well...um...uh Cypher Rage: Cmon don't be shy we allow ideas to be told at the table. No ones going to interrupt or judge you. Scientist: Really :)... Ok how about instead of rangers we use ....ROBOTS! Cyphrr Rage(Triggered): DENIED, SIT DOWN!!!!! Scientist: Awwwwww.

[@krackothunder]

Hilariously enough, we already have hunting equipment that masks your smell. Since the aliens detect the stuff we secrete when we are afraid, that is already a hard counter.

[@bbriggs7409]

That "Denied, SIT DOWN" should be a meme

[@thesalsaguy4395]

B briggs it is

[@chrisandrew7577]

B briggs its the only thing any living human has taken from this film. People try to enjoy it, but theyre all DENIED!!

[@RaikanGinro]

Wait 10 years and it should be

[@captainbirch9835]

*DENIED, SIT DOWN*

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

Your meme is DENIED! SIT DOWN!

[@thebestlad7578]

The beacon only works on the high ground because it's a Star Wars fan

[@LegoLad659]

But it underestimated Jaden Smith's power

[@MetaITurtle]

You know the wife of Will in this movie is the same Princess from Ace Ventura 2

[@aimeebason9732]

Thinking of how the movie could be fixed, putting aside the huge plot holes about earth and the ursa etc. At the start Will could be the one who was expressionless and wanting to regain feeling again, whilst Jaden was too emotional and that was hampering his advancement to ranger (and to show this in training). It also explains the gulf between father and son (again shown at the dinner table). Then on earth, that is when the transition happens to both characters. Jaden learns to control his emotions and fear, and Wills concern for his son and the pain of his injuries bring out his emotional side as its something he struggles to deal with. This cumulates in the finale when Jaden is emotionless whilst battling the ursa and Will breaks down and cries conflicted by the fear for his son and the joy of pride at his achievements. This would be a good use of the mirroring technique. Not perfect, but it does focus on the characters and drives the plot.

[@drops2cents260]

Or, they both learn: Cypher Raige to allow himself emotions when the situation permits it, and Kitai to control his when the situation makes it necessary. After all, a basic principle of most stories ist that a hero (or heroes) grows as a person and becomes better at what he's doing.

[@mony6847]

I'm sending this to shamalan

[@secretaccount9999]

@Raven Link yeah or maybe have something to do with aliens earth It so that the species are that way If they wanted so much to have it be on earth

[@marccamp6376]

Nice, very nice :0

[@MiniArts159]

"He's a feeling boy" There's a quote for the ages.

[@PrinceFlashmo]

Miniarts159 Aren't we all?

[@dancepiglover]

"He's a feeling boy" I dare even say, he's human.

[@blaisetelfer8499]

If I may be so bold, sir.

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied

[@mogan4534]

That, “I like it but I think it’s something bad” line sounds like Jaden trying to be charismatic and jokey, but his delivery is just so bland and lifeless that it turns a potentially funny line into just... really dumb.

[@Gamer3427]

(Sorry for replying to a two year old comment.) Yea, I could potentially see that line having actually been at least mildly amusing if the delivery had been better. Not necessarily a good line, but something that if said better, (and in a better movie), could have turned out to be a mild catch phrase or meme.....

[@oliviamorales9406]

@@Gamer3427 I feel like that is the same issue with this entire movie. The concept sounded really cool and exciting, but it takes itself so seriously that it ended up being so incredibly boring. Don't even get me started on how bad the world building is too

[@alexjewett7455]

It's hard to tell jokes when you have less charisma than topsoil.

[@WhatTheActualMark]

"My suit's turned to black. I like it but I think it's something bad." Spider-Man getting the Symbiote suit in a nutshell.

[@haileyroberts1103]

Who has the stupidest name? Syfer Rage or Jupiter Jones

[@emilykruger2844]

Both

[@Okalani5000]

Stupidest is not a word. Dumbest is the word you're looking for. If you're going to be a critic, you may as well work on your grammar. Otherwise you'll only be viewed as a troll.

[@SirKirk2000]

Pluto Nash

[@inky5574]

Syfer Rage because at least Jones is a real last name

[@kitsunekid16]

@@inky5574 as is Jupiter

[@dancepiglover]

From a psychological and evolutionary point of view, denying fear is not actually practical. We developed the emotion as a way of self-preservation. It prevents us from getting into situations that could be dangerous or to react very quickly when in such a situation. We evolved to have fear, and other emotions, for a reason.

[@jamestang1227]

I mean, realistically speaking, couldn't we just kill the Ursa with armour-piercing missiles from a distance and call it a day.

[@edmilsoneletrica]

James Tang , that would be... using intelligence... and that's not what they're going for.

[@Mysticsword]

Denied! ;)

[@Okalani5000]

I agree, it can be very frustrating to deal with such things. When I watch some movies, I criticize them and nobody wants to watch movies with me anymore because of it... But OMG have they not seen what I see? I may not always see the wire that holds up someone's fake hand, but omg I can tell when something obviously sucked, was last-minuted, or an actor is having horrible acting skills. In this movie, I almost fell asleep just watching the version with Nostalgia Critic! SHEESH! (Probably explains why I fell asleep with the one where the sun was dying out and then... I fell asleep when they were about to test what the hell was wrong with it every single time. I tried multiple times to watch it and it failed to not make me fall asleep. And considering I have sleep apnea and insomnia, that says a LOT! XD)

[@b3rz3rk3r9]

@@jamestang1227 Or maybe use a Drone? Or Land-Attack Remote-operated Robots?

[@jamiegauci8902]

22:49 "Will smith does his interpretation of the audiences interest" 😂😂

[@chrsmueller923]

22:46, actually.

[@Reapermaskhybrid]

23:04-23:08 Nice.

[@kchandaman3012]

The following names could also be said in that puppet voice: JUPITER JONES PLUTO NASH BIRMINGHAM DICKENS

[@thegoldencaulk2742]

Don't forget Officer Downe

[@AgentIronCat]

MATT DAMON

[@AgentIronCat]

***** Ahhhh! someone got the joke.... Good Job!

[@EthanSchmethan]

kchandaman don't forget NOBELY NATION

[@Commander_Shepard.]

COMMANDER SHEPARD.... ...Oh wait.

[@jabuchananable]

"Will, everybody already wants to be you" After the 2022 Oscars: You sure about that?

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

Everyone's reaction is hilarous because that was just a legendary Will Smith moment lol

[@vanillabadboy4469]

I never wanted to be.. he's always been a douche

[@el-kiote]

🤷🏿‍♂️

[@theamhway]

if will smith wants to promote his family, he has the money, he can by all means. but what was he even thinking? pursuit of happyness was so good... jaden actually did a good job in that... how did he progress in reverse?

[@RJLiams]

A good director can turn a bad actor into an oscar winner. To bad Shyamalan is a bad director.

[@CanItAlready]

Hmm. I think a bad director can turn an oscar winner into a bad actor, but a good director can only turn a bad actor into an okay actor. I've only got this and the Kung Fu Kid to go on, but I haven't been impressed with Jaden Smith's acting so far.

[@RJLiams]

CSharp He's not the best actor but his acting was more than OK in the Karate Kid. You should also check him out in Pursuit of Happyness.

[@ssjichigo666]

and now he is a voice actor for his own netflix original anime with a performance almost out-neesoning liam neeson

[@fraserstewart6035]

pursuit of happyness... DENIED!

[@catherinethorstenberg6362]

Dougs face gets so red when he yells, it looks like steam is about to come out his ears

[@TheaterPup]

"This is like being in Karate Kid with no karate in it..." Lol

[@PeanutBuny27]

“I HEARD THAT!”

[@Spuggky45]

Will Smith: can everyone please stop talking about the Oscar's? Me: Denied! Sit down!

[@TBustah]

**Oscars**

[@SeanChukwuezi]

Chris bro can't you take a joke Will taking a joke denied

[@JaceGem]

Malcolm is a pretty diverse person... He can be your father, your sister, your brother, your puppy, AND your french vanilla.... What an amazing man. XD

[@savageshot3723]

This is a strange comment

[@monsterhanna6691]

😂😂😂

[@marquis911]

@@savageshot3723 Well, it was a strange line that he referenced.

[@liampatrick3110]

"Will, everybody already wants to BE you!" THAT sentence aged well :/

[@Jebu911]

At that moment he wasnt an old cuck so it was still right at that time.

[@aguywhojustexists]

Aged like fine wine…

[@el-kiote]

🤷🏿‍♂️

[@LazyCreepypasta]

I always hated how they gave themselves accents. Why do they have accents? and someone being 100% void of fear is impossible.

[@Thraim.]

As is faster than light space travel. It is part of the science fantasy setting and doesn't need to be put under scrutiny as long as it doesn't contradict itself over the course of the story.

[@LazyCreepypasta]

AdalRoderick THE FUTURE

[@aidenrenova9411]

Donald trump has no fear

[@zoock5]

AJgamersOnline Why would that be impossible? That makes no sense at all, their is literally no reason it would be impossible many things don't feel fear robots and singled celled organisms for example. Also it's happened before (I mean being without fear not controlling it) so I really don't think it's impossible, fear is an emotion, chemicals in the brain cause fear, remove a part of your brain and you have no way to fear anything that's happened a few times one such time was an experimental lobotomy. Also why could someone not control their fear? Weirder things have happened through mutation, of course the reason people don't have this mutation is because fear keeps us alive it, makes us stay away from things that would kill us, without fear the only thing keeping us away from danger is avoiding pain not even fearing it just disliking it.

[@LazyCreepypasta]

Zoock5 THE FUTURE

[@dellayassine]

Well, it doesn't hurt to watch this review for the sixth time!

[@natethegreat1480]

Della Yassine DENIED

[@steven1716]

Nate The Great SIT DOWN

[@Abdullah_SK]

YES SIR

[@shiro5684]

Della Yassine it doesn't hurt nc's wallet either

[@ChannelAwesome]

Thanks for watching again +Della Yassine

[@jamesdinius7769]

Advanced futuristic society Less prosthetic limb technology then we have today. THE FUTURE!

[@Okalani5000]

Oh and don't forget the lack of everything else like pets, emotions, real food, exercise unrelated to the creatures, and toys other than that holographic thing.

[@KanishQQuotes]

Fighting giant aliens with ground troops

[@RutraNickers]

using cloth where even wood would be a better choice

[@ryanangelastro504]

@@Okalani5000THE FUTURE

[@teckworks]

How can I watch this video if my eyes aren't real?

[@jebes909090]

a newborn baby told me they are. They are the most intelligent beings on this planet after all.

[@thcollegestudent]

You wont need eyes where we're going...

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied

[@badflamer]

You find that funny, but it shows your lack of philosophy or perspective. Your eyes actually aren't real, by any acceptable definition of such, The only thing you can be sure about, is the existence of your mind somewhere in the cosmos, the knowledge that somewhere, at sometime, there is something processing the sensation of your existence. Everything else is only a simulation run by said computer, 100% based on sensory imput by what you believe to be your body. However, shoudl something have control of that sensory imput, they could make you believe whatever they wanted you to believe about yourself and the reality around you. As far as you know, you could just be a disembodies, mechanical 'brain' on some alien planet, or inside a star, or composed of actual stars, made to run a 'human' simulation and to believe yourself to be a human and living a human life, so that the alien scientists or whatever can gather that data and learn more about us (be we a long extinct species, a far away civilzation they are interested in, or purely a concept for a possible lifeform that they are testing out in a simulation before actually creating). Hell, there may not even be alien scientist to observe you, you could very well be the only mind in the universe, long gone mad from the crushing loneliness, and having created an entire fantasy of life and death and earth and the cosmos, to entertain yourself and keep yourself from a deeper madness There is no actual empirical evidence that your body, your eyes, or the very message that you are reading with said eyes exist, That I exist to communicate with you, that you are not irreversibly, undeniably, alone. These are all legitimate points of philosophy that has entertained the greatest minds of our species for millennia, and the kind of thoughts that, as an admittedly ineloquent tween, jayden attempted to express through his tweets. Ridiculing this only shows your own ignorance.

[@badflamer]

Ladies and gentlemen: Exhibit B

[@drpepperkingcom]

You know what I find hilarious: The fact that the DEAD SISTER shows more emotion than anyone else in this movie.

[@ananddhanola4623]

"Everything on this earth has evolved to kill every human" Literally throws a rock at the first animal he sees

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

To be fair, lack of fear equals lack of common sense and logic, which equals throwing a rock at an extremely advanced apex predator-

[@xBloodxFangx]

So, Ark: Survival Evolved

[@JamiJR]

Why wouldn't they give the guy with one leg a prosthetic? Hell, it's the future, they should be able to clone him a leg and attach it.

[@Thraim.]

He looks like they just carried him out of his operation to close the wound. They also *really* wanted to set up the later scene.

[@stevie_ily]

DENIED

[@PunkExMachina]

they didn't even give him a decent wheelchair he lost a leg and they just gave him an office chair to roll around dude

[@vegetasaiyanprinceofragebo5520]

Jami JoAnne Russell or at least a sweet robotic leg

[@JamiJR]

Yes! Everyone gets it. And so what if he just came out of surgery? It's the FUTURE! They should have some hyper-healing gadgets like in Star Trek.

[@1997residente]

Cypher Raige's ancestor must have been Adamantium Raige.

[@ItsUrBoi]

1997residente DENIED

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

DENIED! *Punch*

[@fhb3]

ADAMANTIUM RAAAGE!!! (punch) #De_NIED!!!

[@CountessChuchoteur]

Mixed with Primal Raige.

[@ManaAdvent]

Whose uncle is name Brooklyn Raige.

[@greedyelliephant]

"THats the stupidest thing shamallan has ever written" Honestly with Jayden's delivery I bet that he improvised that line

[@bananatiergod]

Actually, about the hologram thingy, I think it's suppose to be a model of a building. If I'm not mistaken, Cypher's wife is an architect.

[@mr_misfortune]

O.R. Studios DENIED! SIT DOWN!

[@bananatiergod]

eoiny 224 Eeeep! *sits down*

[@vulpezerdavulcan9055]

O.R. Studios I assumed the hologram controlled those big sails and everything on their home, and she was opening them for ventilation or something.

[@Awesome_Pichu]

Vulpezerda Vulcan or she was playing tower defense against balloons

[@nocteyes379]

This channel is awesome. If only it had a name to suit its awesomeness.

[@darksunrise957]

Yeah, that'd be awesome.

[@frederickshaibani5655]

DENIED!

[@CuppaLLX]

I got it! Stupendous Satellite!

[@PinkiePieIsBestPonyTheFirst]

I know right? It's not like it's called Channel Awesome or something.

[@Lone_Rocket]

Oh, if only this channel had a name like Cypher Rage to save it from its dull forgettable name.

[@SunnysFilms]

Imagine getting an annual Christmas card from Cypher's family. "MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE RAGES"

[@monsterhanna6691]

😂😂😂

[@NachoCheeseDorito-Kun]

Post Office: "DENIED. SIT DOWN."

[@Timmy_Horsenutz]

No, No Malcom. Your putting way too much charisma into your Cypher Rage performance. Read it like a chartered account who just got out of a coma and is about to pass out from oxygen deprivation.

[@gaspermendiola8535]

Lemmy Mann hahahahah

[@gaspermendiola8535]

nice

[@wantsomespaghetti6359]

If will smith was a gps Me: "whe're is the nearest mcdonalds" GPS: "DENIED!"

[@SirKirk2000]

Want some Spaghetti! SIT DOWN

[@drops2cents260]

+Want some Spaghetti! I think you forgot the rest of the dialogue: GPS: "DENIED! Kale is much healthier for you, so SIT DOWN and dig in!" *GPS points you to the next vegan restaurant*

[@little200bro7]

Want some Spaghetti! You don't have your seat belt on and you lean through the window GPS:SIT DOWN

[@uglyguy2519]

*Me:* Will Smith GPS, take me and my friends to New Jersey. *GPS:* So I guess we're some kind of Suicide Squad...

[@ryanblack3686]

Just because the movie never used apostrophes doesn't mean you need to use them incorrectly... "whe're"

[@IsaiahRichards692]

Allow me to point out a character kind of like Cypher Rage *giggles* but done twenty times better: Denzel Washington in Flight! Without saying a word, you knew how much of a veteran pilot this guy was! While hungover, he successfully crash landed a doomed plane, saved the small number of people he could and while his copilot was crying and panicking, he was clearly hiding his fear, but putting on a convincing facade of calmness! It was masterful!

[@johnalogue9832]

12:00 It's not a kid-friendly sword, it's a completely smooth handle with no guards so if he tries to stab anything with it he's going to cut up his hands horribly.

[@anikmonette2140]

Lazy Veteran It's worse: they apparently can worm travel, yet they can't give this poor handicapped guy a good prosthetic leg!

[@worldofthought8352]

+Lazy Veteran That and they clearly have cities built in the background when the family is having a meal, so in the space of a 1000 years of leaving earth, they found a new world, populated enough for cities to be established and prospering. Humans have interstellar transport, laser guns, threat detecting suits! Andhave quarantined zones in space as well as have a once feared alien monster now used as training. And these aliens apparently came close to wiping us out because they dropped things that could be taken care of by a drone strike? It's not the technological aspect but how much is squashed in, humanity was suppose to be on brink of extinction yet their cities prosper, we travelled the stars and have fleets but a alien race is a threat because they drop essentially dud bio-weapons. And this war happened within commander rage's lifetime, that's a lot to cramp in with no explanation added.

[@DJTRANCENDENCE]

ProbeVoyages AND he has no training with long bladed weapons.......no fencing experience

[@adamwozniak30]

The future

[@SA80TAGE]

maybe if they used some future space guns instead of sharp pieces of metal, they might do better in this war against monsters that require close range to be effective. Just a thought.

[@michaelramon2411]

You know, if we had to fight blind alien bears that detect fear, you'd think we could just, you know, build a robot army. Or use tanks. Or helicopters. Or planes. Or artillery. Or guns, like how we'd fight an army of non-blind bears. It doesn't matter if they can smell us if we riddle them with holes before they get into range for their melee-only attacks, right? That said, an alien enemy that has say, psychic powers that let them control or wound humans that are feeling fear (or even just that grow stronger from fear) COULD be a cool enemy to face... in a good movie that was actually about the aliens and also neither a celebrity pet project nor a Shyamalan film. A film about a man who has sacrificed his ability to feel emotions in order to win a war and can no longer interact well with the rest of humanity could also be a decent film (even combined with the fear aliens idea above). Again, if not a show-off pet project or Shyamalan film. Heck, a film about a military guy reduced to nothing but a mission control to a moderately competent but completely untrained and utterly out of their depth civilian struggling through a life-or-death situation could be good. If, not a, well, you know the drill.

[@Okalani5000]

Or because its blind, just outsmart the damn things x3

[@savageshot3723]

All 3 of those sound like fantastic film ideas. I really hope they come to fruition.

[@CaptainPupu]

"Then how about this one ? 2 eggs, a cup of sugar, a half cup of butter" I died out of laughter lol xddd

[@TheTimplatte]

It’s his delivery of “That’s a recipe for cake” that SLAYS me every time. My side hurts 😂😂😂😂

[@phousefilms]

"NO DaaAAAaddD!"

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied

[@insertnamehere7228]

KanishQ Quotes SIT DOWN

[@galleryofrogues]

You are an OTTstanding ranger

[@9Godslayer]

Why is it that movies with "Earth" in the title seem to suck?

[@jake06750]

Let's see, Battlefield: Earth, the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, After Earth; yeah you are right, most of the time a movie with Earth in its title end up sucking.

[@9Godslayer]

You forgot My Island Earth.

[@peacevic]

Does Titan: A.E. count? 'Cause that movie's awesome.

[@aidenrenova9411]

How cats conquered the earth documentary is a pretty good

[@KeybladeMasterAndy]

Ironically except "Earth", which is a pretty good nature documentary.

[@dewayner5388]

I feel like everybody just missed the greatest NC joke ever: "Nepotism." "Heh. Right?"

[@TheDerkus]

It's okay, we didn't miss it!

[@dpop0923]

Where?

[@SA80TAGE]

because you think you're the only one that is smart enough to know what nepotism means?

[@samuelsolomon7330]

I'm a dinosaur.

[@xdestoryer6668]

DENIED SIT DOWN

[@LisaJosefina1]

"My suit's turned black! I like it, but I think it's something bad!" xD who in their right mind would even come up with a line like that xD

[@cauchyhorizon5983]

Shamalamadingdong woul

[@shadowjerok]

i mean this guy who had a character say " we need to show the fire nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs."

[@dkamphaus43]

Probably the same guy who thought it was a good idea to have Mark Wahlberg talk to plants.

[@adeliciousbutterydong]

DENIED

[@CollinLake]

A better line would be: my suit turned black that's pretty cool but that's it

[@hypetia1145]

2:50 Dat narration though. What is his accent supposed to be? It literally sounds like an American doing a joke British accent.

[@monkekun3033]

Hypetia it sounds more like a bad southern American accent

[@KanishQQuotes]

It's really aahtstanding

[@arachnesakura9375]

it sounds like a bad British accent attempting a southern accent

[@AzLolFun]

It sounds like someone trying to imitate every accent in existence at once

[@michellea221]

He literally sounded like a robot like I-

[@DerBear108]

The Navi joke at 21:57 is priceless 😂

[@Okalani5000]

Even I saw that lol.

[@edwarddore7617]

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...... hey

[@ShadoTempest]

Why would something evolve to kill humans in the complete absence of humans? That's like us building weapons solely for the sake of killing dinosaurs.

[@icemanking9473]

Well birds are technically dinosaurs but I get what you mean.

[@Okalani5000]

Will smith has the writing skills of a donkey. Even I would have written that "These creatures have never had contact with humans before, so they'll become very defensive to us, try to kill us, as we try to do what we need to do." And instead of just having absolutely no reason at all to truly attack them, I would have said "And they have the sphere of Amphora. It was taken by a sage a long time ago who was supposed to guard it from our enemy faction. However, there was an outbreak of these creatures because those assholes captured some of them and somehow they got loose. One of them swallowed it. Now we must go kill it in order to get it out." And then the son would have replied, "Can't we just make it vomit it up? I mean, it's an animal." The father would say, "Negative. They can hold it up to a week in their stomachs before it would be rejected because this particular species has a slow digestive track and making them vomit is impossible unless you want to risk getting killed. Besides, this one also killed your sister." And at that moment, the son begins to feel as if he wants revenge because he is being an irrational teenager. And the father too is being a total, irrational dickwad. And his wife would not be supportive. Instead, she'd be like "I'm telling you, that's a bad idea. You're gonna get the boy killed just like our daughter (name). Please don't do this." And like most men, they never listen to us women so they do it anyways and tells the woman to STFU and they'll do what they want to, even though it's just a testosterone run and they'll end up running away like a scared chicken or dying in the process, while we women would be like looking for a new man once he dies, not feeling sorry that he died because it was his own fault. (But at the same time feeling sad that I lost my husband and it'll still take a long time to heal from it...) And then the son spares the creature once he realizes it is in agony from the object, even though it is acting irrationally and trying to kill him. He instead runs like hell, screaming "MOM WAS RIIIIIGHT!" As he is scared as fuck because all teenagers feel more fear than adults do unless they were born like that guy from Rat Race where they cannot show emotions very well. And then shortly after, he smashes his toe on a rock, limping around like "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK! OW! Dammit!" And then he ducks into a hiding spot so the creature cannot find him. He looks around and finds a rock and throws it and manages to MISTAKENLY bounce it off of trees and the creature goes to investigate.... Does the creature find out it was him? XD There, right there! That is a heart-pounding scene!

[@Alphaplayer-ft3fd]

ian Elieff birds are not dinosaurus

[@peterjoyfilms]

I assume that they evolved this way before the humans left? I haven't seen the movie only gnus review

[@marisastoletheprecioussara118]

@@Okalani5000 so are you feminist?

[@FuzzyPuppet]

This is without a doubt your best review I've ever seen from you Nostalgia Critic!!!!

[@FreeSpiritPaulette]

Nice, fuzzy puppet!

[@King_of_Gamers2099]

The name “Cypher Rage” sounds like something a child would call himself in an MMO RPG to seem badass

[@ByeByeDeadName]

17:55 - 18:04 "I'm not a cow! You're the cow! I'm not a cow!"

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied... Sit down

[@Nekucloud]

Will Smith turned down Django Unchained FOR THIS!?🙄

[@EmptyAltruism]

Cant blame him, he probably had "wild wild west" flashbacks reading the script. So he went with MIB instead....

[@DrDolan2000]

I think Jaime Foxx would've been better anyway

[@1997residente]

Will wanted Django to be more romantic. Besides, he was more interested on turning his son a star than making a competent film.

[@monsterhanna6691]

Wait, what? Now I'm really disappointed. 😭💔

[@jaredgagnon7342]

🎶"Why does everybody keep on hiring me? All of my work is sh*t."🎶 -M. Night Shyamalan

[@jediknight4951]

I'm curious as to why their jumpsuits look like a combination of parts of a HEPA filter and fish-net stockings. Oh I forgot. *THE FUTURE*

[@owengornicki8086]

Jedi Knight DENIED! SIT DOWN!

[@michaelramon2411]

In THE FUTURE, the primary weapons of our space-faring, FTL-capable species will be... bladed sticks.

[@johnalogue9832]

They used to think we'd wear some weird crap by now back in the 50's.

[@devildavin]

the only character i really felt for in this movie was the mother eagle....

[@KanishQQuotes]

She died

[@marisastoletheprecioussara118]

@@KanishQQuotes no shit

[@marisastoletheprecioussara118]

@Go Time Now huh

[@asher8754]

I cared so little for the human characters that I was more emotional invested in the fucking birds.

[@anirudhviswanathan3986]

Asher Says a lot when the biggest emotional moment in the film was the scene with the CGI birds. Non-existent creatures have more emotion than everything on screen that WAS actually there.

[@oliviamorales9406]

Honestly, same here

[@TheKabuto90]

Say what you will but that scene with the birds was genuinely heartbreaking, thus making the complete lack of any investment in the rest of the movie that much more terrible.

[@alexjewett7455]

I did at least believe they were birds.

[@allicat4743]

Me: oh dear he certainly seems to hate this. CAN I PLEASE NOT WATCH IT family pays for tickets* Family: DENIED Me: PHACK

[@lachlankerr5448]

How can this film be real when our eyes aren't real?

[@DarthRushy]

What is real? How do you define real?

[@PrinceFlashmo]

DarthRushy What is light where is laughter

[@harrisonjones280]

I lost it at every DENIED joke lol

[@tayqrow3098]

Can I go to my room sir?

[@tudodadood]

SAd Cena DENIED, SIT DOWN!

[@jaketheberge1970]

Valiant McKee How can you deny him if you can't see him?

[@tonybussoli1676]

Jake Theberge DENIED

[@eddieolshefski6467]

SAd Cena DENIED! SIT DOWN!

[@GodsonGameplays]

DENIED

[@Markimark151]

This movie was so bad it's funny, we laughed hard in the theater when we saw it, we saw it because of Will Smith. My cousin laughed his ass off.

[@willmiester4051]

Matt R ikr

[@simonster-9094]

Yet, another movie that could have been so cool but they screwed it up.

[@Mr.Tahkos]

Still don't get why they wouldn't just use a goddamn plane or a tank to kill the "Ursa"

[@bartomiejkumor9375]

Simple, the Ursa are so powerful that even the computers in future vehicles are afraid of them. If you want a better explanation, then you will be denied and told to sit down.

[@luisalmanza119]

I may be one of the few people who read the book and thus knows this, but the reason is that apparently the Ursa's skin is so extremely thick and generates so fast no fire arms can pierce it. The only reason a cutlass can is because this is a "futuristic cutlass" that is one molecule thick at the tip, making it extremely sharp and easy to kill Ursa with it.

[@Mr.Tahkos]

Luis Almanza then make cutlass missiles ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@luisalmanza119]

Tahkozz bruh jajajajajajajjajaja

[@sintanan469]

Luis Almanza So the cutlass rips off the monoblades from Warhammer 40k. Future people should do what the Empire of Man does then. Monomolecular tips on rocket-propelled explosive rounds. Pierces the enemy's tough hide and explodes inside the soft fleshy bits. Gun trumps knife.

[@thesuntitan]

I want more Puppet Critic

[@bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257]

I'd want a whole review of one of the Shamylan movies he hasn't done yet with the puppet.

[@KanishQQuotes]

DENIED

[@reesesfan9521]

CYPHER RAAIGE!!!!

[@ItsAndrooow]

16:27 I laughed way harder than I should have.

[@k-trashradio5163]

hard to believe both this movie and review is almost ten years old now, but whos here after the 2022 Oscars?

[@aa-ze5cz]

lol Will tarnished his legacy so bad. Every Will Smith movie anyone watches now where he deals with an antagonist is just going to scream, "SLAP HIM!" What a way to ruin your entire legacy... acting like a drunk lunatic. Will "THE SLAP" Smith. LMAO... one of the biggest F ups in Hollywood. And HOLY shit, let the roasting begin. EVERY comedian and so many people are going to use this as ammo. The LAST thing you want to do when someone makes a HARMLESS joke (Rock didn't even know of her condition) is overreact like this. It just makes the 'schoolyard' laugh that much harder.

[@Armadio21]

I’ll make this one defense of the movie: I think the idea of the “DENIED!” scene was to show how pissed off Will Smith’s character was. He was so mad that his control of his emotions slipped. It’s still really dumb.

[@PassTheMarmalade1957]

The whole idea of having to overcome fear in order to defeat an alien that senses fear is pretty interesting. Two small problems... 1.) The movie seems to think that not feeling fear means not feeling any emotion at all. 2.) It seems pretty fucking logical to be afraid of an alien that was specifically engineered to kill you. Being *brave* in the presence of that alien - not letting your fear get in the way - that's pretty badass, but physically feeling no fear at all would mean you were either dead or stupid.

[@richardhicks5031]

Or some kind of psychopath

[@gishathosaurus6828]

"DENIED!" Man, Malcolm is such a great inclusion in TGWTG.

[@reizak8966]

Actually, the bit with the birds is the only emotionally impactful scene in the entire film. The bird had never seen a human before, but thought the small flying thing was either one of her children or an orphaned bird, and took it under her wing, so to speak. When her other children are killed, she gives her life to save the last one. Too bad all the writing undermines this emotion subplot.

[@whyherewhynow7418]

“Cypher Rage” sounds like a D-list transformer from the 80’s. Cue commercial: “AND CYPHER RAGE TURNS INTO A COMPUTER TERMINAL SO YOU CAN SEND SECRET MESSAGES TO YOUR FELLOW DECEPTICONS!”

[@TheTsugnawmi2010]

Damn it! This movie WILL be reviewed, Hollywood! The Review Must Go On! #WTFU

[@thatcupofdirt]

TheTsugnawmi2010 #WTFU

[@HunhowsShadowStalker]

DENIED, SIT DOWN!

[@BlueOddyssey]

Keva the Half-Kestora DENIED, DENIED!

[@andrewjohnson8456]

TheTsugnawmi2010 DENIED, SIT DOWN

[@Dylan03917]

Awkward watching this now that Hefner is dead... awkward for me because I am more jealous of him now than ever.

[@EmptyAltruism]

Huh, nice bit of dark humor

[@vwgames49]

Here’s a question. If the Ursa smell the pheromones we secrete when we are afraid, why don’t they wear suits that keep the pheromones from getting into the air? Considering the fact that we have hazmat suits today to keep out radiation, airtight suits are not much of a stretch

[@gabrielrognon6238]

even today I'm guessing astronaut suit would be airtight. plus as other said before, just using remote guided robot and drone would largely do the trick

[@Dendalus84]

I am a little surprised you didn't bring up the fact that when when his sister was being killed and he was inside the bubble that the Ursor couldn't smell his fear. Then why not make there homes our battle armor out of that stuff so that nobody could be smelled by the Ursors. These thing smell our fear and we have the means to protect ourselves from them.....but our flowers need a safe place to...hmmmmm.

[@neonknights]

Remember when Newsweek claimed Shyamalan is "the next Spielberg"?

[@alexparikh7866]

Yeah what the hell was that all about?

[@matthewhogberg5910]

neonknights I remember... boy did that not age well.

[@ashyslashy22]

To be fair that was on the heels of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs.

[@sirpaul7000]

This is what happens when you sniff your own farts too close and your head gets stuck up your ass

[@KenHSr]

It did?

[@tyrant-den884]

I get the feeling this movie was a game of chicken between Will and Jadan. J:"I want to be a serious actor, I won't star in a vanity project you make for me!" W: "you are my son, and will be in my movie!" J: "fine, but I won't act in it!" W: "Have it your way!"

[@jbvader721]

Jesus Christ! Will Smith in "Suicide Squad" was more emotional and had better dialogue than in this sh**!

[@jasonom8984]

jbvader721 will smith was the best thing in suicide squad

[@EmptyAltruism]

@@jasonom8984 DENIED! You meant Margot Robbie...

[@jasonom8984]

@@EmptyAltruism you mean Margot Robbies ass

[@EmptyAltruism]

@@jasonom8984 also yes

[@jasonom8984]

@@EmptyAltruism to be fair it was a nice ass

[@spluff5]

I have to say, the 2014 intro is my favourite by far.

[@michaelpatton3477]

Spluff5 I like a lot of it, but was glad that they let us hear the music in later ones.

[@AnAmericanMusician]

Spluff5 It's pretty wild isn't it.

[@sickcxnt9444]

Mine's the 2015 one (or the current)

[@paulrodriguez3757]

i just like it because of critics laugh

[@scarlettbandit2803]

Current because of Macho Man Randy Savage tbh

[@cadewatson3009]

*DENIED**SIT**DOWN*

[@gabereynolds1299]

Jayden got effected by the Shamalizing

[@KonEl-BlackZero]

He was always a talentless hack.

[@jacobkirch9652]

a hack fraud!

[@DarkZholt]

*affected

[@PedroChuVPS]

or did Shamylan get affected by the Jayden Smithining

[@RumbleDelta]

A side note, "Ursa" is Latin for bear... not alien.... Just another example of how stupid this is.

[@BlueZeroThree]

Rumble Delta I'll rematch RWBY with this in mind

[@chadcastagana9181]

The original idea for this film was a story by Smith about being trapped in the forrest after a crash, the son seeks help, and has to fight off a BEAR

[@oddeyes9413]

I thought it was ursus? Like Ursus Minor.

[@Michae89]

Nope, it's Ursa Minor.

[@LEO97kon3]

The word Ursa does not exist in the latin language! Ursus is latin for bear!

[@azathoth2075]

"DENIED!!!!"

[@CrasherX2000]

azathoth *SIT DOWN*

[@ryanhansen2477]

Denied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@DigiRangerScott]

Suicide Squad is better. Not good, but better. But Will Smith as Deadshot is amazing

[@daelmonoschaos3798]

I agree.

[@JasTheFagge]

Most things are better than After Earth, tbh.

[@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control]

I disagree. The guy couldn't even play a villain in a single movie without a quarter of that movie being devoted to painting him as a sympathetic character. His ego has a fucking gravitational well.

[@Stand_By_For_Mind_Control]

eating raw faces is my least favorite thing to do. Deadshot isn't supposed to be unlikable? Ooooookaaaaay.

[@piplup2009]

suicide squad looks cool but i think it's something bad

[@filivriman]

20:05 Critic: In Chicago we call that thursday. Me: In Finland we call that every day of the year, no matter the season!

[@wjzav1971]

Seeing a NC-review about a bad movie is so entertaining that i always kind a wish they put more bad movies out so there can be more reviews.

[@nitromagilou597]

Now, this is a story all about how my life got turned upside down...

[@BlueZeroThree]

Matthew Cool DENIED!

[@kappapond]

Danny Mendez I'll tell you how humans have been gone for 1000 years

[@The_PokeSaurus]

"You'd haft to be crazy not to be scared!" "If your not afraid, your not alive!"

[@thegoldencaulk2742]

"If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control." Did I do it right?

[@gaiamatt6574]

My god, your comment it so Grammatically incorrect, *have to be *you're

[@The_PokeSaurus]

Gaiamatt Here comes the Gramer Notsees!

[@gaiamatt6574]

The Poke'Saurus The 'your' I can understand, but 'haft' is not correct in any way

[@The_PokeSaurus]

Gaiamatt The what is the correct word, seance "your" such an expert on this?

[@charlieiannini3502]

Jaden: "Dad I wanna work with mom" Will: "Denied"

[@schwarzerritter5724]

What I found frustrating about the movie is that hadn't they explained the setting, the movie would make a lot more sense. I mean, hadn't they explained aliens driving humans from Earth, engineering Ursa and ghosten, I would have just assumed they crashed on a random planet and a lot of plotholes would have been averted. All it accomplishes is set up a boss fight in the end, which the movie did not need.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

What a twist.

[@KanishQQuotes]

Denied

[@Madway]

I can't wait for the future. To be able to pointlessly wave my hand in front of shapes.... such a dream come true.

[@mangan8r]

"𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐃! 𝐒𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!"

[@farrex0]

I guess that is the highest type of compliment you can give M. Night Shyamalan, "Well I guess it is not as bad as the others"

[@joewilenzik9119]

Shamylon: Why does everyone keep on hiring me? All of my work is shiit!

[@anikmonette2140]

I love that the future houses/appartments have zero protection against big creepy bugs but they can stellar travel whenever they can.😝

[@turboman9123]

Doug: "Nepotism" Doug's Brother: "Right?"