After Terrible Things Have Happened, Here's How to Build A HAPPY LIFE

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***
Bad things happen in everyone's life. For some of us, a history of abuse and neglect in childhood produces common, trauma-driven symptoms that hold us back. Even if you've endured trauma and tragedy, it's possible to heal the past, calm the symptoms and build the happy, functional, love-filled life you deserve. In this "best of" compilation, I teach about practical steps you can take to start solving problems and feeling happier today.
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***
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[@kathleenphillips6445]

I’ve realized that I have to take these in bites. You’re so far ahead of me I have trouble keeping up, but I will stretch to do that. Honestly, your videos are like sitting in front of the best therapist imaginable.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad the videos have been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@ixizn]

As someone who has an easy time beating myself up over not being healed “enough” or seeing progress quicker, just wanted to send you some love and say you’re doing amazing, we’re all where we need to be right now and on the road to incredible things to come ❤

[@gohawks3571]

​@@ixiznI need these words. I'm pissed off at needing to do all this work in the first place, and pissed off just dealing with anything. I hate that I'm in good company, because none of us deserved this😔

[@ixizn]

@@gohawks3571 I completely understand how you feel and can relate so much. I think it’s completely warranted too, but that’s another thing that’s so difficult: to know when to let yourself be mad and feel all the feelings of hurt that we’re even dealing with this to begin, because it does suck so much and is so unfair, but still not let it get us so down that it hinders us completely from living life or begin our healing. But it’s like a muscle, the more we train the better we will get at it all. Can’t go to the gym and lift the heaviest weights immediately... and so many of us have dragged around our weights for such a long time. We have to be gentle with ourselves now when we have started to try to pick them up. Sending you so much love! Healing is difficult but so worth it and I know you-and me and all of us here who can relate-can do this! 🕊

[@gohawks3571]

@@ixizn Thank you🤗 I keep trying to be encouraging (and it's been hard, because all these suicidal people keep popping up☹️), but my reservoir is drained. So is my brain.... Thanks for pouring some back in the tank✌️

[@ethanmiller5487]

Real talk! Underwear, socks and shoes that suck, kill your soul! I was the guy who wore boxers that were brought over on the mayflower, then i switched to good socks (still is crappy boots) and you would have thought i won the lottery! Then I got great boots and inserts, i was instantly on the foot version on cloud 9. As a man, when i got underwear that could cup the junk, hold it tight and wick sweat, I knew real downstairs comfort! It knocked a few things off the list of complaints for the day so it was an automatically better day!!

[@MyUltimateStuff]

We're all very happy for you - even if that was a teensy TMI... :D hey, just kidding, I understand, basically not thinking being worthy of decent underwear / clothes. Be good to yourself; plan the "splurge" but dont beat up yourself if you fall short of your new, freedom living goals. Hugs!

[@johnferradino]

Same! I was wearing socks that had holes in the heel, so I'd spin them so the heel was on the top of my foot. Then I wore holes into the other side too. The cushiony feeling of new socks was so amazing!

[@ethanmiller5487]

@johnferradino heck yeah! I love the small things in life!!

[@tenboom9043]

My situation was different from yours, but I recognize many of the trauma symptoms. I remember realizing that no other children I knew were as fearful as me...of everything.

[@skyiscrying]

Your videos shake me to the core. I didn’t realize how my past trauma has affected my whole life.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad you found the channel, you're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@loriraemorris4142]

Watching these videos helps me a lot❤

[@elizabetheliuk9373]

Yup me too. I’m so relieved to find someone who can help me understand. And it’s most likely the reason why I’ve been crying so much. It’s like a boil that has been lanced and won’t stop weeping as it needs to get rid of all the poison that created it in the first place. It’s cleansing somewhat. But to me it’s also a weakness that I’m not used to displaying. The “Imposter Syndrome” !!!!

[@rijd2304]

I love how she emphasized, "Don't stay in work that makes you miserable unless your life depends on it." I had the epiphany in 2017 that I needed to leave the job or I'll die prematurely, or if I stay then I'll end up with a life I didn't want. It was terrifying leaving the position but I did it with enough emergency reserves built up and something on the side bringing in some cash, and becoming a minimalist (which was super beneficial). I got into mindfulness using books like 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels and The Power of Now by Tolle, and that took me down the path of creating a daily meditation routine for myself. It took a few years of adjusting and deprogramming from the "You should work a job you hate because we all have to"...but it got easier over time to see those thoughts as lies. I feel for the people stuck in life-sucking jobs because they need to be...I get it, I was there for a long time...but believe that you are worthy of much more, because you are! :)

[@jenniferboyd2200]

Word

[@ToTheWolves]

So you found a job you love that pays at least the same as your previous job and allows you to live how you want?

[@rijd2304]

@@ToTheWolves Yes, but I wouldn't say "love" (I try to keep my expectations realistic for my life), but I definitely like and enjoy it 100X more than the soul crushing job I had at a big company.

[@MichelleMills1972]

My reaction from the title: I don’t deserve to be happy. Everything that’s happened to me, I deserved. That’s what I’ve been told. Ok, now I watch.

[@nippynf4l831]

You sure are easy to understand. That’s a true gift. Thank you for sharing with us all.

[@janets7291]

When I'm really depressed, I don't want to do any work. The shame is so intense I feel like I don't deserve to feel better and I do stuff on purpose to feel worse since I feel I deserve it. It's an emotional form of self harm.

[@survivingartist]

I really like how these longer videos have these great introductions sometimes longer sometimes shorter and then she brings in the older videos and has this really dense and helpful video that explains things and offer so much help. Crappy Childhood Fairy, please know how much good you are doing for people. you are helping me and my family so much. thank you. thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words & comment! Julie@TeamFairy

[@steveguti6452]

May the blessings of love peace and joy fill your life good night take care stay safe keep smiling have a blessed day praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all

[@mariajmc6557]

Amen Amen Amen 🙌👏

[@Jacquie_Kirk_111]

Your situation resonates with me very closely. I'm 62 and just figuring this out. The fear and resentful feeling in me were overwhelming and paralyzed me from enjoying my life. Thank you for your videos, and helping me heal finally.

[@punyashloka4946]

This women is a genius 👏. Very deep understanding of childhood trauma.

[@elizabetheliuk9373]

7months smoke free. Yaaay.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Fantastic! Congratulations! Julie@TeamFairy

[@helenatroy33]

Ive spent my whole life trying to heal. You can even get far in you're healing, after lots of hard work, and still hit walls. Be ready for it. Xo

[@curiositydrawsme9180]

Oh Anna, thank you so much for all of this! I’m in a time of transition and it’s easy to be hard on myself for not knowing what’s coming next. I deeply, deeply appreciate your description of the process of coming into one’s talents and skills, and I also deeply, deeply appreciate your description of the sometimes (often) messy process of taking baby steps of healing at the same time. I do feel messy and scared, but I also feel increasingly connected to an idea that I’m here for a bigger, deeper, more vibrant, more playful and more satisfying purpose than I have been fulfilling through my work in the world thus far. Hearing you speak to both growth and healing at the same time feels like it meets me right where I am. Appreciative.

[@alisa_and_pup]

Yes, yes, yes! I'm trying to find my way around this too! For the last few years it just felt like 1 forest fire after another following each other in different areas of my life until I was back in perpetual survival mode again. I'm 'just' starting to feel like I can get some traction with my healing using some of these tools. I'm not really sure where I'm going yet either, (which is always terrifying) but starting to feel like I can actually look up and look around for a better solution instead of hopelessly white knuckling my way through life with no end in sight. Progress seems SO slow, sometimes it feels like it's not happening. But looking at my mindset today vs 4 years ago? 😂🥰 I'm so grateful for the healing and tiny bits of joy I've been able to grow. Good luck to you, wherever you find yourself friend! Brave baby steps into the unknown are better than living frozen in fear ❤️ one day at a time

[@curiositydrawsme9180]

@@alisa_and_pup It’s the shift in mindset that’s got me hopeful. Good luck to you, as well!

[@katwitanruna]

I would love to be in a position to afford dental care.

[@cartwheelsinthezendo]

Hello. Found you recently and I have had some light bulb moments. Limerance. I had never heard of it but hearing you describe it explains almost every love relationship in my life. It has provided important insights into my choices in life. So I am 76 and homeless and living in my car. I realized some time ago that I have cptsd but cound not afford programs or therapy. I have gotten good insight into it from watching KZbin videos and have gained a lot of insight. I hope to be able to do more consistent programs in the future. I am very interested in how the traumas get passed down in families because my children and grandchildren have issues that I know are based on issues that go back generations. It is a sad reality. Thank you for your videos. They are enlightening.

[@punyashloka4946]

Hope you are okay now .

[@MichelleMills1972]

The trauma I’d experienced before cancer was buried, a memory. Cancer in 2017 and chemo while me too movement was going on, brought flashbacks, emotions, nightmares. They’ve been ever present since.

[@politicallyincorrect5802]

So nice to find a channel with tips to deal with the issues that took me 20 years to learn how to deal with,without any help. Thank you.

[@DosBear]

I may not be able to fix the mess other's & I have caused in my life but I can certainly do some damage control and distance them from being able to do any more. Going 'No Contact' was the best decision I ever made. Now I spend my time loving my own adult children and doing the best I can to be the best person I can be and that will have to be good enough. Coming across your channel & a couple of others has helped enormously and given me some guidance with regards to the reasons for what has happened and that alone gave me the validation needed to have confidence that I have made the right decisions. Getting a grasp on the disregulation alone has been invaluable to me. Thank-you.

[@Andrea-to4hc]

This particular video compilation really hit home for me on so many levels and the timing, impeccable. Thank you to Anna and all who were involved in creating it.

[@StorytimeBeaming]

I had a disregulation yesterday and went off on my kids over the mess in the house. Im in the middle of decorating and they spilt a drink on my new rug. It triggered me 🤯 Woke up and watching this video has helped me this morning, so many aha moments thank you🙏🏽 I am 48 and have CPTSD Father and Family dysfunction. I finally got a therapist, left my job and subscribe to your channel all in the last month so I'm happy to say that I'm finally working through my issues and not being defined by them.💗

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you found us. Please keep watching and learning. Nika@TeamFairy

[@Analysis_Paralysis]

This was so helpful! 💗 Exactly what i needed yesterday. For my self-talk... A kind and reassuring voice! Thank you. I've been feeling very stuck, lately, due to circumstances and hardships, even though I've already started my "healing" journey.

[@dianekim4385]

Oh Anna. You speak so well, authentic, supportive, encouraging. Your words, commitment and the Daily Practice have helped me to lift myself up enough to gain some healthy perspective. I was raised to settle for crumbs. I have discarded good opportunities in favor of crumbs, as this was my orientation. Now there is a hope of making choices in my best interest or at least in the direction of 'that little light inside'. l share this adage, "If it feels too familiar, RUN."

[@Freespeech78]

SO THANKFUL FOR YOUR CHANNEL ❤

[@danip6648]

I really agree with all you share and I wonder if my luck will ever change as I keep encountering people with personality disorders with whom I have to be 100 percent agreeable or risk conflict if I even have my own opinion. My work experience has been even worse...narcissistic bosses that are abusive in various ways. I am isolating more and more in order to survive and a peaceful life is very important to me now more than ever so I prefer being alone to being with people with whom I need to walk on egg shells with or not be me with.

[@daveo9844]

Saving my life one video at a time 🙏🥰

[@rezazazu]

The 3rd video was so ON POINT I almost gasped 😅 you're a genius Anna for pointing them all out and acknowledging these destructive habits.

[@fightingtosurvive6527]

Thank You for sharing this with us. ✨🌷🙂

[@Jacquie_Kirk_111]

My father criticized me, he told me i was fat, dirty and messy AND he did not pay the alimony in the 70s. Thank goodness wages are garnished now. I had so much anger and resentful feelings. My mom had pist partum depression and was not with me for my first 3 months, i think subconsciously i resented her, and didn't realize it until now, 62 years later! I waddled through life getting a BSc, 2 masters degrees and a successful career, its a wonder i made it through life. Your videos are helping me heal these huge childhood wounds, thank you!❤

[@monicamora160]

A family member triggers me by lying and believing they don't lie. And switching alliance between their children after hurting you by dishonesty. It's hurtful because been supporting persons emotional needs and living needs. But tried to warn person that person they are switching to/leaning on has hurt them.

[@kirbydi7]

My life is crumbling... Again... And I just needed that title, thank you in advance, thank you 😢😢😢

[@greivonroman]

Is it possible someone with CPTSD be in a marriage where they can love their spouse? Or if they can’t love themselves, can they love someone?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yes, you can love someone while you're learning to "love yourself."

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this video. I'm thinking I'm well underway in healing, but I feel better to stay alert to how I respond to losses, setbacks, and new or challenging people. Particularly in the realm of romantic love, I'm skeptical of how in touch I am so far with my deepest longings, how they got there, and if they're really healthy or necessary. And I notice I still have this feeling dogging me that I don't quite belong anywhere. My rational mind knows better; but my subconscious is still elbowing its way through.

[@carrieododod4421]

There are so much I can relate. But I observed the symptoms become severe when I go through difficult life changes. 😊

[@noturbo]

1/2 assed my life

[@elizabetheliuk9373]

I’m 69. I cry all the time. Does that mean I’m disregulated!!???? So much stress in my life for the past six years and it seems it’s brought the worst of my CPTSD to the fore. I didn’t know before. But I knew something was wrong and I researched to find out what. And here I am and I haven’t stopped crying. Wth.

[@The.Essential.Coaching]

Maybe you are just releasing all of the activation out of your system. All of the things you’ve put under thee rug to avoid the pain and now your window of tolerance may be bigger so your nervous system allows you to feel everything in order to release. Just a hypothesis.

[@elizabetheliuk9373]

@@The.Essential.Coaching well that’s an excellent hypothesis. And I will keep that in mind as I think you are right. Thank you. I won’t feel like such a baby now.

[@cristinaroe2166]

You look like a kind and sensitive person. Yes, fear is a terrible thing that can paralyse and wreck your life. My favourite quote from the bible is For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind. So being delivered from that fear and conquering it will usher in the other 3 blessings. I am not totally healed yet. Never the less, for years I was an anxious wreck afraid to leave my bedroom. However, knowing that God made us wonderful because he loves us, that we are ALL unique and valuable and that often those people most attacked in life are attacked by the enemy because they have the most to offer helps me at least be a little obstinate minded. Please try to recognise your own worth and beauty. And YES. Sometimes take the odd risk, starting small. The results can be surprising and are certainly better than that horribly crushing sense of defeat. I believe that healing is possible for everyone. Warmest regards🙏💐👍

[@The.Essential.Coaching]

@@cristinaroe2166 Beautiful 🤍 I am muslim but I love my christian people always full of love and in service if others.

[@elizabetheliuk9373]

@@cristinaroe2166 I’m not sure if you are referring to me or not and hoping you are. But your message is kind and warm. And full of hope. Not sure where or how I’ll end up but I’m trying hard to stumble thru all this confusion and fear. When I say fear I mean I’m very frightened of what I’ll discover. I’m afraid of walking this path alone. I have no family no children snd my marriage had trapped me and suspended me holding m me over an endless pool of

[@AndjelaRadovic-pf2ge]

thank you for this story you telling us,

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for being here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@mkara9250]

I CAN T THANK U ENOUGH!GOD BLESS U AND THE TEAM OF CCF!❤❤❤❤❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you're here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@mkara9250]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy

[@kittttcattt]

Anna, I want to encourage you to get your fur baby. I have worked with animals and they have been a part of me from the beginnings. If it wasn't for our dog, which I thought was only for my son, I wouldn't have seen the pin holes of light in my darkest times. I believe God uses animals as our angels on earth. Safe unconditional love plus plus plus. Get a maltese or a sweet small dog that can travel with you. I go no where without my dog. I couldn't after covid, I needed him to walk outside. I was a live wire and just touching his coat relaxes my triggers and calms my mind. Breeding is important and there are many in need. Thank you for being here. I had to go on a road trip with siblings. I tried to prepare my mind as much as possible and I am fresh @ discovering CPTSD. I was told I had PTSD but brushed it off.....then I found you and it clicked or rather smashed together. I had an uh-ha moment in terror on the drive and melted down. I panicked and wanted to jump out the truck door in my mind. I thought of you and wished I could get online (total fear). I remember "This" in my head and prayed to God. I started saying "This" over and over. It took about an hour but I snapped back into my body. I realized I turned into that terrified 5 year old when my dad would lose his temper driving but it was my brother. I am working at this and want you to know how much you have already changed my life with your pain that you have turned to good in teaching others. Thank you and please get a dog....soon. They are superpowers of healing.

[@prettypizza]

Anna please do a hair tutorial, it‘s gorgeous 😄💛

[@clarkluse2918]

I get it.

[@MarieHolestad]

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD back in 2015, and they sent me to some DBT class for a year. It didn't really help me much, and in the middle of it, the closeness/group dynamic became so familiar, I started calling in sick. I don't have a job, even if I wish I did just to be around people, and I just generally feel stuck. I've tried starting up on the daily practice, but I just can't keep up. I don't feel like I deserve to get better, and that no matter what I do, I'm going to fail anyways. These videos of yours always spark that want to get better, to "fix" my life, but I lose the motivation almost instantly, because I've already convinced myself that I wont get better.. Does anyone know what I can do with this sense of defeat? How I can strongarm myself into giving this a shot after all the other things failed?

[@punyashloka4946]

Yeah I got you, I was in a similar , always thought I don't deserve anything better blah blah blah. But now after 2 years of struggle, pain I finally got to a place where I know I deserve better 😊 things are relatively better, feel much lighter. Keep practicing Daily practice even if you loose motivation re start again. Sleep of 6 to 7 hours everyday 😴. Stop eating junk food completely. Walk every morning around 5 to 6 am. Do simple things like taking shower everyday , eat nutritious food at least 1 healthy meal in a day. For people like us who has this core belief we don't deserve anything better healing is a slow process, lack of motivation make it even more difficult but you can get there. 2 things keep moving no matter what, push everytime you fall get up again but don't stop okay. You will get there.

[@MyUltimateStuff]

Pleae check into the tspping Anna has mentioned. The writing kinda helped, but when I added the EFT tapping, using whst Id wtitten down - it was a game changer for the positive. Hugs.

[@Ninaoutoftheblue]

@MarieHolestad - I wish you the best. So much of what you wrote resonates with me. All I know is I cant strongarm myself into anything and sometimes my belief in my failure is a way to stay safe because I dont know what will happen if I heal, what would it be like. What helps me most is realizing that I want to be better, to get better, as Anna says - we're busted because we are here watching the videos . What helps me and might help is just being a little kind to yourself and challenging those thoughts when they come - who says they are true anyway. I tried the daily practice and its still a goal but its okay if I cant do do it like they say, its ok if I dont do all the things they say to do. - its good just to try to do a little bit each day and I am thankful for the chance to try again the next day. The alternative is to not try and thats okay too actually -its your life - tbh- you don't sound defeated to me - you are reaching out and asking for help - you already are defeating that sense of defeat - if you were defeated you would not watch the video, feel that spark or ask the question - can you acknowledge those as wins 🎉and think of them as evidence that you can get better and you are better already

[@katwitanruna]

43:20 as a broke disabled person I can’t afford to take what I’d like to a potluck. So I don’t go. Especially since they’re exhausting.

[@somethingyousaid5059]

Be willing to publicly acknowledge the foundational fact that it's through an act of procreation that the human being is brought into this world as a victim. Do that much, and you become worthy of your fellow human beings.

[@katwitanruna]

At 25:34 my thought was My trauma is my own, I can set myself free

[@katwitanruna]

My heartbrother suggested My trauma is my own, only I can set me free.

[@katwitanruna]

Question. I make affirmation videos daily. What affirmations do you recommend?

[@ToTheWolves]

You can’t ask for a raise in healthcare, the only way to get a raise in healthcare is to find a position outside of your facility. Healthcare doesn’t give individualized raises ( at least not for positioning a below upper management)

[@steveguti6452]

Urgent emergency Please join me in prayer for all those affected children families animals approaching hurricane storm to Florida.Hawaii Maui island they desperately need your prayers please pray for them God bless you all

[@Rose-fe9jc]

@Steveguti, thanks for the reminder. I'm praying too.

[@clonejones7955]

I'm an atheist so I donate money.

[@bethtaylor9773]

I've learned that enmeshment is great - as long as my enmeshment is with Jesus, with God. Working the 12 steps got me out of the mess and into the solution. Al-Anon is a program that works because the 12 steps work.

[@ryancagerbaker]

Is it normal to one day start realizing all the things that have hindered you in your life like you’re involuntarily going backwards through the memories of events in your life and suddenly understand why you behave the way you do? Is there a term for this? Something I can research?

[@birgip.m.1236]

Epiphany maybe? It's like something finally sinks in on a deeper level of understanding & knowing...even tho' may have heard it 100's of times before.

[@PatriceVC31]

I just can’t do this anymore.

[@MichelleMills1972]

I was dx’d with cPTSD without being told.

[@kishanmanilal]

Its like you know the story of my life and all the shadows inside me without even knowing me :D

[@clarkluse2918]

What is your name?

[@mariag5201]

What's the difference between telling people they are treating you bad and falling out because of CPTSD

[@paulaw9764]

First to hit like 😊

[@clarkluse2918]

I just wanted to be alone

[@Durelle820]

Shorter videos or part 1 & 2. Don't have the bad with for this

[@TheConsummateArtist]

These are all excerpts from shorter videos. The titles are even shown in the beginning of each section. Just go and look them up.. And a lot of people like the longer compilation videos.

[@steveguti6452]

Jesus Christ died for our Sins According to the scriptures and that he was Buried and that he rose again the third day praying for everyone everyday God bless you all 🙏

[@MsCaterific]

💝 Life goal: Don't be a "Karen" 🙃