Agony (Zero Punctuation)

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[@bobmcguffin5706]

"Turn things up to 11 and stay there and its just as dull as staying at 1" is a very good phrase

[@tafua_a]

Fun fact about that: I'm such a scaredy cat that I fin even Slender too scary to play, and I'm very icky and susceptible to gore. And yet one of my favorite franchises is Mortal Kombat, because the gore is so ridiculous an omnipresent that I just can't managed to stay shocked after the first ten seconds of gameplay.

[@allenhernandez3350]

So… Warhammer 40k then?

[@riokollivier]

@@allenhernandez3350weirdly enough, even they have a down time, it’s usually a nine, but every now and then they can bring it down to five.

[@lordofstorms2000]

Funny how Subnautica is more of a "psychological horror" then Agony with its "psychological horror" tag :)

[@daruistube2007]

And Subnautica takes place in fucking water

[@AlvarVraal]

*Dives a bit too deeply* Uuuh... It's getting dark in here. *distant underwater roar* NOPENOPENOPE

[@alejandroelluxray5298]

Well the Last time I was in Hell 75% of the Demonic population dissapear

[@spaghettichild4335]

Subnautica below zero creeped me the fuck out and I don't know why

[@Sergioosh]

When?

[@boltonatorsaomd9368]

Surprised he didn’t mention the meaningless ‘moral choice’ system this game has. I’m fairly certain being in Hell means you’ve already made some poor moral choices...

[@WildManToons]

Well if you make even more evil choices you just might go the Hell^2

[@abloogywoogywoo]

Or an incompetent creator. Take your pick.

[@Zerpderp0]

Boltonator SAOMD it was so meaningless that he forgot

[@boltonatorsaomd9368]

Zerpderp0 Fair enough, I was just a little disappointed that he didn’t mention it considering he’s reviewed many games that had moral choice systems in them.

[@abrakadabra6584]

Either that or you've just failed to convert to whichever denomination of Christianity turned out to be the "correct" one and lost the religion lottery. *tips fedora*

[@Lorendrawn]

Props to the transcriber; I would have added a witty retort after Yahtzee's taunt.

[@gooberboyxdd323]

2:10 I think that was best execution of reciting the word “bitch” I’ve ever heard

[@Artemiska58]

This line killed me

[@RustoKomuska]

Transcription worked too

[@RJMc819]

I wouldn't even joke about the "wanking" thing. The number of people SCREAMING FOR BLOOD on Steam forums 'cause they cut some of the nudity OUT is jaw-dropping.

[@doubledouble4g379]

We're sorry, but your Red Goddess is in another level of Hell ;)

[@BLZ231]

Double Double 4G this deserves more thumbs up.

[@ethanor]

Pretty sure my Red Goddess is in Canada

[@d.g.m.8455]

"Oh, there's a hold breath button, now I understand! I'm supposed to hold my breath as I slowly move past the vagina monster so they won't- oh, it spotted me anyway and gnawed my gonads off. Nevermind!" That line coupled with that little illustration was freakin' hilarious, laughed for five minutes straight.

[@slc9885]

Agony? I bet it was! huehuehuehuehe

[@Superschokokeks]

huehuehuehuehuehue

[@owendiaram3870]

huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue

[@0subscriberswithnovideos339]

Br?

[@thalesmacedo6972]

Sir Lord Chris SGV BR???

[@quintoncraig9299]

How *dare* you compare this *filthy* [could be better, r34's alri- no never-mind, continue on me] game to my daughter! (Honestly I'm just surprised a game ended up using the word as a title, I though I'd found something they wouldn't touch; [Clearly you were wrong] excuse me, me, I'm talking here- Oh.) (Well... I guess I'm still in character?)

[@Mathmachine]

Yahtzee's impression of a gaming journalist was so accurate I thought this was a Polygon video for a moment.

[@peytonbayne2491]

Mathmachine DAAAAAAMMMMM

[@Guru_1092]

I swear I was getting some Kotaku vibes there.

[@angrytheclown801]

Mathmachine That was a shots fired moment.

[@eparadoxigm9648]

Lol, look out, Yahtzee's throwing elbows.

[@mh13mini]

COME DUMPSTERS. Waiting for the Kotaku hit-piece on Yahtzee any second now

[@KingKuma909]

An easy way to make this game more fun, give Doomguy 5 minutes and see what happens

[@BoostedMonkey05]

Myles Harris agony wouldn't go amidst if doomguy was there, slaughtering everything on site... Also, Argent D'Nur is more fucking subtle than the level design in this game...

[@wearelegion4012]

No kidding, the possibility of the doomslayer chainsawing a vagina demon would be glorious

[@DarknessCalling]

The only mod worth having agony for. The only reason it could be fun.

[@GBDupree]

Heck even Duke Nukem would make this more fun.

[@EvilExcalibur]

GBDupree seriously. The Duke would at least add some of that delicious 90's cringe I love so much.

[@the_jones528]

"Oh you found me, go find me again" Basically it.

[@jlwilli2]

"As token as the wheelchair-bound dude from the Burger King Kid's Club." I'm old and I love you, Yahtzee.

[@SpikeJet2736]

Why does a soul need to breathe?

[@blarg2429]

Why not? There are no fixed rules to speak of. You could make a setting wherein people are disembodied souls during life and when they die they get physical forms and can spend the afterlife touching things, breathing, and not being able to phase through solid objects, and that'd be just as legit and make just as much sense. Of course, that doesn't answer your question, but still.

[@xenteko7249]

Because people are fucking stupid and don't realise that everything we are is just decaying organic matter /edgy

[@simple-commentator-not-rea7345]

Now that I think of it, how can a soul be affected by all the torture and suffering that Hell apperently offers?

[@remenencenda768]

because it is hell

[@Renan3256]

@@remenencenda768 welp, now it's explained. Thanks man!

[@Zeturic]

Please raise your hand if you predicted the "Agony? It certainly was." joke the second you saw the video.

[@quintoncraig9299]

It was like the inquisition, "I expected this, but I did not expect *THIS!* [Pre-Blaming Blam]"

[@beansnrice321]

"Let me take a step back, remember Dante's Inferno?" XD

[@SuperLuigiSixty4]

A world made out of jam, eh? There's a book in that.

[@Fulgrim2]

Damn, was kind of hoping this would be at least semi fun.

[@RetroRhythmRepeat]

ha

[@manhattanvi]

Fulgrim2 or quarter fun

[@ThatFatGuy64]

I think the first trailer that had more Gore than all the alien movies combined should have been a clue.

[@Fulgrim2]

I can dream but oh well.

[@ty_teynium]

Same honestly.

[@CegeRoles]

If you want a game similar to this but actually looks more promising, check out the upcoming Scorn. Instead of Dante's-Inferno-style Hell, it goes for something more along the lines of H.R. Giger and Zdzislaw Beksinski, and is way more unsettling in my opinion.

[@---ox1lg]

You just made me realize those were two seperate games, I just went from 'too bad, I thought that looked interesting' to 'hang on, the interesting looking one was called scorn'.

[@blondemaverick]

YES! I'm so glad someone's at least mentioned Scorn! I thought Agony tried to rip it off and failed because they missed the point--or something'r other--and met their just desserts under Yahtzee's hammer.

[@Abi-chanFictionFan]

Wasn't H.R. Giger actually involved in the creation and development of Scorn ?

[@aazelion5189]

Abi-chan fiction fan Giger died in 2014

[@romank9611]

That's a brave claim. A lot of people and backers expected Agony to be good too. But we got what we got. Until it's released or some gameplay is shown (I know it was shown, I mean pre-release). It's just people's expectations and imagination of what it will be

[@Favmir]

2:07 I enabled CC and they transcribed it perfectly. Haha! Got ya Yatzee!

[@nullfather7872]

They didn't transcribe it perfectly because English text communication is unable to capture the exact inflection that gave the non-words meaning.

[@cristiancojocaru9821]

Holy crap I've never seen a better impersonation of game journos up until this point. Thank you for making my day :))

[@gavindooly2375]

I can imagine doomguy teleporting in and solving everything in 12 minutes.

[@Twitch1872]

I feel like when you mentioned Jam you missed the opportunity to reference your book

[@beaukennedy4618]

I hadn't seen his videos in a while and I had forgotten what his voice sounded like so when I saw this video pop up and waited for it to load I tried to recall. Alas I failed to remember until suddenly it came to me as him calmy talking about repeatedly smashing his head into a wall and commiting heinous acts with a hedgehog came screaming into my mind. I cannot describe the euphoria of the nostalgia that raced through me. Almost making me forget about how my internet took so damn long to load or how my internet would be completely unusable and thus not allow me to view his content up until present but oh damn I will enjoy this when I finally get to watch it in a week!

[@benjaminwaltman6841]

This is non-ironically one of your best reviews ever

[@leguan278]

Demonetized for sure lol

[@seanurbik5158]

Let's Pretend He was monetized?

[@TescoValueMemes369]

Sean Urbik I got an ad at the end

[@john-id6tn]

Demon-etized

[@noeantoniosierraortega5923]

Why demonitized?

[@90maducc]

Tesco Value Memes I got an ad at the beginning.

[@mannmctrash]

Someone transcribed it Yahtz', took all of 7 minutes.

[@taintedmyth0s636]

I turned on captions just to see if there was anything there. I'm a little upset that it wasn't auto generated, but also happy that someone took it as a challenge.

[@JustSomeoneRandom1324]

Tainted Myth0s I am glad I am not the only one that did that

[@occult702]

I watch everything with captions/subtitles both online and tv (unless it starts to error in the center of the screen or glitch gibberish) so I found it quite humorous when he ordered someone transcribe his onomatopeias because he was already being transcribed...like a helpless character in a story where he’s aware that he’s a character being watched, 4th-wall thing, but unaware of how truly helpless he is, stuck in aforementioned story.

[@nullfather7872]

And it captured none of the subtext of the delivery or the inflection, you mongoloid.

[@nullfather7872]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[@hubertusxvi6877]

Every Wednesday when I come home from college, I get a new ZP episode, I LOVE IT

[@geardog24]

I'd say the game looks like the gluttony level in Dante's Inferno, where everything is covered in bloody diarrhea and you hear nothing but squishing sounds as you walk.

[@edwardgibbon2557]

This review is one of your masterpieces...

[@weofparadigm]

This is one of your funniest videos in a while, well done

[@illakelsin9055]

Hilarious, man. Glad youre still making these.

[@benjiboy9907]

Honestly, I come for a game review, and I stay for the British slang.

[@oscarlangdon3233]

I like how when I type "agony zp" the first result is hunt the Freeman Hmm I wonder why ?

[@Andrei-ck7lv]

The part regarding stealth mechanics made my day.

[@chirpynsleepy958]

Ha! Slough humour! I'm sure the 5 of us that understood that joke found it halarious. Much appreciated.

[@IVIaskerade]

God damn, that burn on games "journalists". 10/10

[@Firestar4041]

Which in hindsight, i think he fell under that at some point. His usual charm, lightly touching the dicks, and then promoting his book and or game.

[@NoConsequenc3]

Promoting your own book/game while being upfront that it's your book/game is much different than trying to hide the fact that you're shilling for someone you know or someone paying you

[@hellothisismufin]

ToddHaywood MUH MISOGYNY you do realize that the point was to talk about how someone fucking Zoe was willing to bring her game up in an article was a little fucked up and a bit of a conflict of interest right? People were mad because she was fucking her way up the fame ladder to get her shit pushed into the spot light, not that she was a woman making games.

[@hellothisismufin]

ToddHaywood continuing to ignore the point is what leaves us at the mercy of these people. If we turn a blind eye to this shit then journalists can just signal boost their friends to milk money from consumers.

[@hellothisismufin]

ToddHaywood the overall price is not the issue. Triple A games will always have the marketing to hit a majority of people, but Indies don't have the luxury. Getting that signal boost puts it above it's competitors without displaying merit, just the business connections and that's scummy

[@OneEdge_]

4:42 Is that a mouth I spotted there for a split second? Outrageous.

[@codlogic7060]

Im glad my friend showed me this channel.

[@BurnedSoap]

Props to the transcriber. Good job.

[@aburns-cz7fd]

0:45 i can hear kotaku screaming already

[@CassReidIsSomeone]

Yahtz is quite familiar with a land covered in jam.

[@DoctorMandible]

Literally your best video

[@underachievers666]

Thank you for being alive

[@RaydeusMX]

So glad Yahtz finally reviewed Marriage Simulator 2018 .

[@cole1714]

marriage, am i rite, folks???? whomst else hates their wife!!! hahahhah thank you ill be here all week

[@Spore9996]

nessknowsbest Or you know, just a really old dad joke that's been around for CENTURIES.

[@Chungussy]

Hadron V been around for centuries... just like sexism

[@Spore9996]

The best jokes are the most offensive. Get over yourself.

[@Chungussy]

Hadron V my comment seems to have offended you more than the original offended anyone. So I'll take that as high praise. Thank you.

[@TheDoctorOfThrills]

Tagging this game with "psychological horror" is actually wrong. This kind of horror is visceral/body horror, and it really needs to be a tag, because there is a threshold people can withstand visceral horror. There is a difference between this and gore alone. Gore is a simple presence, visceral horror is a pillar of design.

[@miguelsiguenza4014]

The shade at the beginning of this made me lol

[@devlafford]

It actually transcribed it in a way that made sense. The miracle of modern technology. Wow.

[@bloodmachine6049]

I'm still waiting for the uncesored version. I just really like the style of the game.

[@joeschmo8755]

The guys who designed hell in agony deserve an award. The game sucks but it’s the best depiction of hell in any game.

[@Rinocapz]

"11 is just like 1, repatition you see." Brilliant!

[@TyTang24]

turned on CC after the "eurgh" segment and rewinded. pleasantly surprised by the transcribing, though i don't know if it would've made sense if i was deaf and hadn't heard it first.

[@ethanedwards3357]

To say this, and I'm stealing a quote from Yahtzee, Agony is bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody, bad, bad, bad, bad. Don't, don't, don't, don't play it.

[@DrSX]

To steal another quote: It's alright, you can swear on the internet, your mum probably isn't going to read it.

[@nitishkapur8193]

What's that Skippy Yahtzee is reviewing a horror walking simulator well what good news

[@MTdaBlacking]

But...Never mind.

[@EvilExcalibur]

Skippy is still alive? Last I heard he had no limbs anymore

[@bloodstoneore4630]

That guy with the face what's that Skippy? Limbs aren't vital organs? What good news

[@douglasclark8648]

That closing line!

[@RAFMnBgaming]

"This doesn't seem physically possible!" -Private Burlap Sack.

[@quetzalthegamer]

Never clicked on something faster.

[@TheGodshatter]

God of the Wind seriously lol!

[@dajam9035]

God of the Wind Damn near broke my thumb.

[@Perfectlydonebylilac]

sir swag released a video 10 seconds before, so it sadly took priority

[@quintoncraig9299]

It still feels like yesterday when it demo'ed.

[@casualcraftman1599]

So Agony is just a 2018 version of Outlast 2.

[@ibdgonzo]

Casual CraftMan Multiplied by 50

[@Skarlet_Sun]

Casual CraftMan after playing both I can tell you Agony has a thousand thousand times more disgusting imagery than outlast 2, and is glitchy as hell (lol) too.

[@PorchPotatoMike]

I really have no interest in video games, but I love watching your videos because they crack me up. Good work!

[@TheNathanchavez96]

they did transcribe it and it was great.

[@porkyrip658]

Predicting the joke about the game being agony to play

[@Chaos.A]

That was kind of the point

[@Bluecho4]

I've found it really odd how similar this game is to another game that came out recently, called Lust For Darkness. It's a survival horror game where the protagonist also wanders through a hellish dimension, except it's a Giger-esque lust dimension, and you're only in it half the time. The other half is in a posh mansion. The plot of this (short) game is that a normal bloke (an architect) finds out his missing wife has been kidnapped for a year by a sex cult, and she manages to get him to arrive at their mansion full of sex toys and weird art pieces, on the eve of their big ritual that also happens to be a huge occult orgy. Because of course the sex cult has a huge ritual that is also an orgy, and they want to bring the onset of Sexy Apocalypse (though this game has strains of Lovecraft, so the sex dimension they want is considerably less sexy than was advertised). And so the protagonist has to pop back and forth between the mansion and Giger-land, in order to save his wife and escape the cult. Yahtzee should check it out. It will only take, like, two hours to get through the whole thing.

[@quacktac]

Someone actually did a great job of transcribing that.

[@MrKostas336]

This was a brilliant review, spot on!

[@cmazzeno]

Still waiting for that Vampyr Zero Punctuation review

[@cmazzeno]

SimpleMindedGoat I've seen plenty of other reviews. I just wanna see yahtz rip into it.

[@SpiralDownward]

SimpleMindedGoat How do you mean "Dark Souls Lite"? Like, story-wise? Or gameplay?

[@SpiralDownward]

SimpleMindedGoat Sounds a bit more like Bloodborne than Dark Souls. I might check it out

[@SpiralDownward]

SimpleMindedGoat Heh =P Alright, thanks bruv

[@TheREALHugo4]

SimpleMindedGoat Whatever. Vampyr is a failure.

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

Too bad, I really like the disgusting gun design from the gameplay I saw. Edit I’m an idiot

[@nickmoradi711]

Pajamapants Jack not the same game, thats scorn

[@Ninjahero51264]

That's Scorn. A way better game. Agony was just an edgy hell game. Scorn is more Giger-esque and biomechanical.

[@AFlyingTaco1]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who got this garbage confused with Scorn.

[@naedanger123]

Hunter Oh thank god, I mixed them up too and was wondering where all the guns and actual combat went

[@antaresmaelstrom5365]

Well there is a scorn demo you can see some people play though it is rather short.

[@JerkyMurky]

The way you said bitch at 2:10... I dont think i have ever physically recoiled at the word before, but that did it.

[@shanepye7078]

Like a real doll, smeared with ground beef... Awesome

[@Oversensitive-S-poster]

0:47 was that a zoe quinn reference i see there?

[@willia_music]

This review had more gore than the game

[@pigwag]

You never fail to humour me.

[@artificeengaged]

This review is everything I expected it be :')

[@Toasterloaf]

This game looked really interesting during the reveal trailer. Shame it went tits up. HAH!

[@carlosheras7139]

Is it me or is there much more punctuation these days?

[@Flood520]

We all get older...

[@rock3793]

the mist balances both just put a game in that world

[@majorboner8784]

thAt sums it up pretty well exactly how I feel I hope scorn won't be the same

[@drzoidberg19855]

That description of games journalism, wew lad.

[@hrruben5135]

There is only one Leather Goddesses of Phobos. Don't deny it:

[@KillerOrca]

Anyone else turn on CC just to see what the subtitles said when he poked fun at them?

[@nathanputzeys1170]

4:42 IS THAT A MOUTH? You scared me with this shit, I wasn't prepared

[@solairehearts3071]

S W A G O N Y

[@theSparkyDub]

No

[@paradoxacres1063]

Knowing that Yahtzee will one day review *HuniePop* it fills me with determination!

[@Quakingsm]

Paradox Acres just be happy with his review of DDLC

[@bloodstoneore4630]

glad to see the early youtube spirit alive and strong

[@hiiamelecktro4985]

Ehhh... Paradox Acres wrong game

[@SamFreelancePolice]

stop

[@quackmasterson5128]

Really? People are still saying that!?

[@johnDoe-gz1qz]

Never has a title been so telling of the experience

[@chwenhoou]

2:00 Well, that sums up Evil Dead 2013 in a nutshell.

[@JD867]

Such edgy, so evul

[@RufusOmega]

How is it edgy? Explain please.

[@HadBabits]

Rufus - Look up "Woosh" and consider the grammar and spelling in the comment :B

[@RufusOmega]

Just because he was being a little memelord doesn't mean the content of the comment wasn't sincere.

[@CPSPD]

RufusOmega yeah mon an edgy hell setting with death, boobs, gore, LABIA APPLES and women being raped in the background is not edgy it’s actually intellectual STEMlord art. Actually it’s quite downplayed! *tips fedora*

[@HadBabits]

So you're saying, and please correct me if I'm wrong, they could've sincerely came here to leave a 4 word comment, doge style, to inform Yahtzee's audience of both the edginess and evul of Agony? o3o

[@callmebomb]

It's not that psychological, more just, eww

[@Firestar4041]

Which apparently passes for psychology today in games.

[@blarg2429]

"Eww" is technically a psychological response. :V

[@quintoncraig9299]

If you keep thinking about it after playing it, it's psychological horror. (Well, if you aren't laughing at it that is.)

[@ift7797]

This game was AGONIZING

[@Diarmuhnd]

The most entertaining game reviews in the entire world

[@user-lh7mt7zo7l]

Pretty much all of this applies to Scorn aswell

[@DrWub]

Agony, that was what i felt while playing this game.

[@MrSamulai]

So you decided to make that joke even after watching a video that made fun of people who would make that joke?

[@DrWub]

MrSamulai yeah I couldn't help it

[@daishi5571]

Well that went as expected. I think he liked it.

[@LAVATORR]

Video hasn't started yet, BUT 1) I am really looking forward to this because 1b) Agony is a fascinating trainwreck Don't let me down, Bennihana Crowshaw.

[@AveGluteusMaximus]

I enjoyed the story and thought it just needed a little more fleshing out so that people who don't know The Book of Revelation (most people playing these videogames nowadays) might also get into the references. Frankly, I had to look some stuff up myself but it answered lots of the questions I was left with at the end in a rather satisfying way (Hunter of Souls, Seven Headed Beast, Tower of Babylon etc.). It was an ambitious goal of a story that a small team simply could not realize in the context of a fun game. They got caught between "story" and "fun game" and fell a little short of both. Still, I think they deserve some props for trying. It's still a cool and unusual concept on paper that beats all the shitty unoriginal AAA cash grabs that dominate the game scene today (imo)

[@goldenhorde6944]

Heh, Fleshing out

[@rodrigodepierola]

"Agony: The Whore of Babylon" coming soon.

[@MeleeTiger]

"Well that I respect" XD

[@morganpartridge1865]

The virgin agony vs the chad scorn

[@zeromailss]

I hope Agony 2 is better, it has the potential

[@sibanbgd100]

にゃあエイリアンMeowAlien I, an intellectual, am waiting for agony 2 remastered

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

Fuckin' near anything can be said to "have potential"

[@kakarotz9296]

0:45 wew lad, get ready for kotaku to start calling your videos “problematic”

[@Knights_of_the_Nine]

Frak 8117 It’s almost certainly going to happen.

[@RosesRedThorns]

Wew lad. Get ready for people on youtube to pull nonsensical things which are never going to happen out of their arse.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

It's a bit late for that

[@dajam9035]

Lol this actually makes me want to watch someone play it now.

[@Midnight24435]

I knew this review was going to be a good one.