What do you mean Humans raise their ships?! | 2313 | A Short Sci-Fi Story

Humans have The best Spaceship of all time!
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:07 What do you mean Humans raise their ships?! by cptn_candy
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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[@Lucian00311]

Humans turned YOLO into Co-op. You killed one human? The ship only has to survive until he respawns, then it's round 2.

[@Gr3nadgr3gory]

Project Pheonix online...

[@SnowmanTF2]

Seems more viable if was stored somewhere other than the ship that likely would be damaged if they died, and should not even be that hard if already had capacity to store a copy on ship.

[@lumberluc]

They found a way to preserve the Silver Cord and reconnect it to another body. Awesome

[@ej3911]

So basically, they’re all playing Space Engineers in real life 😂. 🤔 Now I’m curious about how many Splitsy and Cappac clones are running around. 🫤

[@loganshaw4527]

Lol I bet the human out lives the ship and has to live long enough for it to respawn as well humans are die hards.

[@verilyheld]

"Basically, all humans are John Wick, their ships are their dogs. Except some ships are cats. Those ones, you really don't want to mess with." "Not that I would, but-- why not?" "The dog ships will just kill you for threatening their humans. The cat ones will hurt you, let you go, grab you, hurt you, let you go . . . I heard of one Turvolkan, the cat ship keeps cloning hirm to keep playing with hirm."

[@johnmckibben525]

That sounds like something a cat would do if it could

[@SummerCrowfpv]

My cat would absolutely do this 😂😂😂

[@colleens1107]

Facts. Cat owner here, can confirm. Once watched my cat when she was just a kitten torment an ant like this. Poor thing kept climbing a screen in a window and Maggie would let it climb to JUST in her reach and knock the ant off the screen. Repeat. SHE DID THIS FOR TEN MINUTES before I took pity on the ant and put it outside

[@prismanceryt7982]

i'd like to point out that biologically growing metal plating is a phenomenon that exists in our oceans today. The "Sea Pangolin" is a type of deep-sea snail that grows its shell out of iron sulphides and other minerals, and it gets those substances from the water surrounding hydrothermal vents

[@emoryogglethorp8180]

They showed up as the Da-leks and one of the most famous Lovecraftian horrors, all because somebody got lazy and didn't do the proper research, that's legitimately hilarious LOL

[@Sorain1]

It's comedically horrifying that this is entirely believable to me. After all, who was going to quality check it?

[@jesseamaya4413]

Bureaucracy at its finest.

[@mrmors1344]

@@Sorain1 how do you quality check that? our modern pop culture is worshiped more devotedly than most ancient ones. what are they going to do? google it? look on social media? how will they be able to tell the difference between role players, not role-players, and the almost certainly majority that would 100% use it to troll them into believing it themselves?

[@rhyderleming5851]

Easy, take a picture, and *put it into google search.*

[@brentmartin6833]

Da-leks as portrayed in TV shows/movies/role-playing. Da-leks! Exterminate! Exterminate! Aliens: yes let's go with that one! Humans: did you translate "Exterminate" wrong? Aliens: No. Humans: 🙄

[@jukkiivi4282]

Aliens: Will you become a biological or mechanical race? Humanity: Yes Thanks for finding and narrating this story! For the Algorithm! For the Author! For the Narrator! For the Beard!

[@InternetGravedigger]

Aliens: Will you become a biological or mechanical race? Humanity: Why choose? We'll just go ahead and do both... {:-)

[@borisbadenov8613]

For the whored!

[@viktoriyaserebryakov2755]

That doesn't make any sense. It was said that all species have no choice but to choose specialisation. Then humans just elect to ignore it? Why doesn't everybody else do that?

[@InternetGravedigger]

@@viktoriyaserebryakov2755 Possibly because earlier ones were likely predisposed to one side or the other, then after they started introducing new species to the specializations nobody thought of it... after all if the 'experts' tell you something can't be done, why try? Also, humanity is just that insane.

[@viktoriyaserebryakov2755]

@@InternetGravedigger What's insane about reaping the benefits of both? If we're the only species in the universe to try it then we're not special, everybody else is just moronic.

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

Human ships in this timeline are a Tyranids wet dream lmao

[@ceu160193]

Basically it's Zerg Leviathan, that they use as spaceship.

[@emoryogglethorp8180]

From the sound of it these humans seem like they can completely wipe out the Tyranids LOL

[@judahschultz]

@@emoryogglethorp8180 speak carefully and softly. You don’t want the Inquisitors to hear what you just said. For only the god emperor can destroy the Tyranids.

[@robertstoneking7916]

@@ceu160193 Leviathan from Farscape. Talyn was armed.

[@lumberluc]

Ah, we took the Synthesis Route. Best route ever! Why? Pack Bonding, and who doesn't want a Transformer robot as a brother/sister? Heck, a giant ship with versatile configurations? To me, that's a giant win since all of us know what going full Borg does to the race, and races around them. Kind hilarious though, a Dalek speaking of peace? That's a first

[@Elyseon]

You know this would just lead to ship waifus.

[@malaficus]

​@@Elyseonwhere do I sign?

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

CO-OPERATE! CO-OPERATE! CO-OPERATE! 🤣

[@BazilRat]

"Huh. Technology and biology working together. We'd sort of thought this might work but this proves it. Hold our beers and watch this, we're gonna do a thing."

[@Naymy]

"Side note: for netnarrator, amy's literary empire and last but most certainly not least agrosquirrel. Any and all three of you have my express permission to read this story, on the off chance it get's popular enough for you to see". In case anyone was wondering what the text at the end said.

[@user-zv6th8fh8v]

The Daleks who are actually not Daleks, but are in fact Daleks... Sneaky.

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

CO-OPERATE! CO-OPERATE! CO-OPERATE! 🤣

[@lightneko]

Wow I hope this is really how humanity turns out even if aliens don’t show up.

[@amberpelton5679]

That would be awesome! For the algorithm!!

[@bobsterclause342]

The horny chick and deleks? I dont see why it went like this

[@robertalexander5892]

Agreed. For the algorithm and the beard.

[@wrathfulcoma4357]

Like please, i want a space ship as a friend ❤ lol

[@alfredsutton4412]

For the creative author! 👍 For the talented voice actor! 👍 For the algorithm that rules us all. 🎉

[@MrMaradok]

For the Skull Throne! 💀 Wait, wrong universe, sorry

[@Kualinar]

First contact : Those aliens REALLY fucked up with their choice of envoys. Aliens : Will you chose the path of biology or the path of technology ? Humans : Yes ! We'll take BOTH. Aliens : What do you mean, both ? humans : Both, like both at the same time. Like merging the two as one.

[@IRMentat]

Interesting concept. Paired brain-brawn style partnerships between a talyn (Farscape) and a gene modded cyborg. The logistics of doing that in a multi global scale is terrifying. Imagine if every puppy given to every child could intake the resources to become as big as a super carrier and had the potential power output to FTL and fight in a technological wonderland. Even with a 5-10% inclination to military endeavours that’s billions of “self sustaining” ships hungry to grow big tough and damned strong at a time.

[@chrislaf89]

Not only that, if you manage to kill one side of the pairing, you're screwed cause the other side is going to bring their partner back (and likely with the anger/memories of being killed) so it's going to be vengeful as hell. You'd need to kill both, and if humans have perfected their biology that much, it's likely they are functionally biologically immortal (matures and stops aging until killed/choses death) and their ships are likely the same way.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Brain/Brawn pairs are a direct steel from a series from decades ago. Look up the ship who sings..for this it's an actual human who's permanently installed in a ship with the brawn being a fully functional human

[@chrislaf89]

@@duanesamuelson2256 so because one story has it, no other stories can have it without being accused of plagiarism?

[@lumberluc]

To the point where when it comes to contracts, the main payout is in metals. "I don't want money. I WANT METALS FOR MY PUPPY!"

[@whiterabbit75]

Master Blaster.

[@RensStoryteller]

... so I'm 96% sure my ship would be a gundam of some sort.

[@wrathfulcoma4357]

Bru this sounds like a dope idea for a video game, you ship levels up with you cause it’s apart of you and the respawning would make since too 😂I want this game now

[@Yistern]

I had expected this to end up as an "AI are people" story, but this one is neat too. One I anticipate at some level in the future...

[@lumberluc]

This is Synthesis Territory. AI always had one major flaw; No Emotions. Hence why their portrayed as murder-bots. But this? Grown machines with a spirit? To me, that's a win. And they have a twin? Even better

[@Yistern]

@@lumberluc Synthesis perhaps, but with the process of raising the AI as though it were a child, similar to other stories, is what I had expected.

[@ronaldfinkelstein6335]

The envoys looked like Yog-suggoth(from H.P. Lovecraft), and a Dalek (from Doctor Who)! ROFLMAO!

[@MidnightSmoke]

Both. Both is good. Here is a like and comment for the story, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, and get you the recognition you deserve.

[@bobsterclause342]

Yeah, like enter the wet chick. If im Correct the yogsothoth one is the chick that tried to frick a guy to death only beciuse he did want itand got stressed and she stayed all nightmlong anoying him

[@808bigisland]

Narcissist rejoice🤣

[@Aminuts2009]

Reminds me of Anne Mccaffrey's "The Ship Who Sang".

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

And "The City Who Fought" 👍

[@user-xc9tt9xh5c]

hold up this means that humanity in times of war can just tell humans to tell there ships to become battle ships AND the ships need no crew Edit the humanity can also constantly respawn these ships

[@tobiasmoller3837]

Farscapes Moya sends here greetings

[@goose6.070]

Pats ship: "It's okay Rocky you go when you feel like it"

[@Arken-99]

Daleklike being literally being called a Dalek is amazing

[@timehaley]

A spaceship called Lassie and her friend Timmy. lol

[@mlogan2k2]

We don't speak of the other one. The Yellow one. It was... not a good time, for anyone involved.

[@erushi5503]

basically a Golden Compass' Human to Daemon connection but scifi i like this story

[@weirdredpanda]

This would make a good premise for a TV series. I expected the bioships to think like dogs because of the title.

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Great story; Excellent narration! Why have only one, when you can have both!

[@rev.jonathanwint6038]

Dalek was a Dalek ! LMAO

[@wrathfulcoma4357]

I want this as a VIDEO GAME stat

[@MsTalia1]

This sounds very much like Peter F. Hamilton's "Reality Dysfunction" turned up to 11.

[@earnestbrown6524]

Thank you. I was trying to remember the name. Need to read it again.

[@scotthinger6397]

I really I MEAN REALLY hope there will be more of this story in the future!! WITH ENERGY!!

[@ramadaxl]

This kind of reminds me of the Anne McCaffrey book 'The ship that Sang' ( Helga ) and the others books that followed it ).

[@brentmartin6833]

I was thinking more like *Her* Dragons as in 'Dragon riders of Pern'. The brain & brawn ships are also cool though.

[@RobbyTheRogue]

this sounds like it would be an awesome video game concept.

[@tristankuykendall230]

i love your videos Bossman, i'm currently keeping track of dungeon core delta's adventures(:

[@ThommeGun]

This sounds like an amazing game idea

[@Cptn_Candy]

Didn't even see you read this one, howd you slip that passed me? Great read as always! Edit: Agro I notice you don't swear a whole lot on other stories using the alternative versions for the words instead, if you aren't comfortable with it, please don't push yourself. I swear like a sailor IRL and it translates to my stories a lot, it's on me for adding them really. Just read how your comfy replace words if you feel more comfortable that way. I love when you read my content and don't want you to stop cuz of something like this. All the best -Cptn_Candy.

[@Blackholelord]

Wow. I wonder, how that alien guy learned how both carried copies of each other, to know if killing one would result in their return.

[@erubianwarlord8208]

probably asked or found out after seeing a guy go down to an unlucky third party and come back meaner

[@KostasHolopain]

For a more serious take on the premise of this story, I'd recommend Bruce Sterling's "Schismatrix Plus". One of my all time favourites!

[@TechnoMageB5]

Wait - so the Daleks were called Daleks, but they had nothing to do with Daleks. Yeah, that's real clear. Lol.

[@electrochipvoidsoul1219]

Hnng. That kind of Bio-Tech fusion is dreamy...

[@m.h.6470]

The Dalek confusion made me chuckle! 😆

[@stephenpickering8063]

Has to laugh at the way the lack of research made the initial contact so chaotic initially. :D In terms of the story I would ask two points'= i) Would any other race decide "this is brilliant" and hence seek to copy it. ii) I suspect that the 5 changes during the very extended lifestyle is a minimum as I expect over decades if not centuries some pairs would decide "I'm bored with this. Lets change careers".

[@deussalt4479]

I love this concept. Hopefully it gets adapted to some kind of TV show or animated series.

[@kitkatfisher7018]

You would love Farscape

[@russellperry9902]

Good stuff Agro. Good Stuff Cptn Candy. I was expecting ....something different. The prize I just listened too was delightfully better than my expectations.

[@matthewlombardi5636]

love the stories keep up the good work 👍

[@digger1900]

A great story, food for thought. 😮😮😮😮

[@Boredofmostofit]

This is basically Peter F. Hamiltons Armaggedon-Saga... kind of neat twist with the synth part

[@Shinobubu]

Wait DALEKS? Quick call "A" Doctor.

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

Who ya gonna call!? 🤔

[@PeeveS]

Epic intro

[@ThatGuyFromDetroit]

dude you're really good at what you do, great story-reader, and good body language for it as well, now that you're adding video. (kudos on being brave enough to show your face on youtube, nice beard, nice outfit, etc, lol!) honestly i'd like to see what you'd do as an author, lol, writing characters from the ground up around those voices you do. the character voice you're using in this one is particularly good, i don't think i've heard this variant of 'dumb grunt'-voice-acting from ya before. your 'sniveling cowardly alien' voice is another example of perfection for the HFY 'sub-genre,' it matches "the humans did WHAT?!" so (freck!)ing well. (edit: Whoa you actually said 'fuck' in this video. Well placed.) SO, do not take my upcoming criticism as 'a serious complaint'!!! i'm still going to be watching/listening to hundreds more of your narrations, but having listened to hundreds already, there's just one little thing that nags at me, even though i didn't notice an example in this video (beyond replacing 'and' with 'but'): I guess your tiny little mis-readings prove that you're not an AI, lmao, but your face does that now and they kinda throw me off sometimes. i mean, i clearly keep watching, but it still throws me off. i wanna put these vids on in the background and purely listen along, like i do with your podcast (haha i listened to the entire 'nature of predators' series via your spotify audiobook-podcast while i was at work, it was really good) but ever since i noticed them, if i'm sitting in front of my PC, i feel somewhat compelled to follow along with the text to make sure you're not getting some singular word wrong somewhere. Quite frequently though, the "script changes" i notice by reading along actually feel like intentional 'edits', 'making it more readable/listenable', 'deleting a bit of cringe,' 'avoiding or emphasizing a repetition,' etc - so, good on you there, mate, i can't fault you for that - but every once in a blue moon, you actually get a word wrong, and it throws me off-track. fumbling or stuttering an occasional word or two is normal and expected, it's things like "phlebotomy"->"lobotomy" or "incision"->"indecision" (

[@WarDog793]

That was quite imaginative and often very funny. Thanks!

[@yomogami4561]

a truly interesting story and concept...thanks thanks for the narration

[@patriograysmark6328]

.... I mean I've always wanted my own little AI helper [ like, a permanent Cortana without the rampancy issues ] but a clever childhood friend with a mental link, backups and all the fun gubbins.... yes please!

[@nigelnightmare4160]

Yes please!

[@SLEPhoto]

So basically the Singularity as written and directed by Roger Corman.

[@rionmotley2514]

I'm about to Google Roger Corman. Brb.

[@cjarnold9727]

This seems slightly influenced by Arpeggio of Blue Steel.

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@Crusty_Old_Wastelander]

So, we became Tyranids basically? Neat...

[@thedevilsworkshop7720]

All hail our alien beard overlords . 😅

[@JohnStormForge]

These human ships remind me of the ships from Farscape.

[@Jedidiah_Martin_2]

"Both Moya and I are....very afraid of fire" 😰

[@mattbrown5511]

Very interesting concepts are presented. My techno-doggo and I will have to ponder this.

[@WingManFang1]

Cyberpunk in space! Yea that kinda sounds like what we’d do if given the technology.

[@crazypedia1717]

Lol they gave the humans a choice and humans choose both 😂

[@boywonderrr71]

Excellent narration and story!

[@MrBruno1.0]

Thanks!

[@AgroSquerril]

My pleasure , thank you for the dono it is appreciated

[@jeanannd]

Great story. Guess from the story, humans houses are also now both biological and mechanical in nature and intelligent - bonding with the human family living in it.

[@christianbryan6961]

Nah, that might be too far.

[@SerangelROM]

This would make an awesome game.

[@Marastife]

Sounds like the book series reality dysfunction

[@SummerCrowfpv]

❤ oh I loved this story ❤

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Well that was an interesting story Ty

[@seiyaryu666]

skipped a line there at the end. you start in at "unless you atomize" when you should've been at "So yes,"

[@MartyrPandaGaming]

Of all the crazy things humanity has done to themselves in HFY, this is the most horrifying to me. These species this alien is describing isn't humanity, but something I hope never exists.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Nice!

[@andrewmagley9315]

Love it.

[@kurtismiller9544]

for da SKWERL and his Nest

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings, Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Of course humanity chose both.

[@MrCanerican]

I want to know more about the human ship poopers

[@UmarWazir]

Farscape. Moya. Talyn.

[@warlockghovat5745]

Humans are the Pilots from Farscape.

[@widdershins5383]

Yes, absolutely everything IS metal and synthetic this is true….but the CONTROLS are all grown biomancy. A heretical combination of both to make a thinking machine. Praise the Omnissiah

[@sudsy7131]

Good day. 100k soon.

[@georgeblair3894]

The idea that humans would shoot first and beg forgiveness / ask permission later is spot-on.

[@Bannedchan]

Oh thank god your not Daleks from our fiction, So what do we call you Dalek: Uhh 🤨

[@qwefg3]

Aliens - you get one pick between two choices. Humans - so pick a third choice to be the first instead of copying everyone else? Thanks for the heads up!

[@ombrepourpre7562]

Thank for the amazing reading. Like alway, you are great to giving it life. And damn I have loved this one ❤ For someone like me who think balance is the better choice, this call me. And best boy/girl/it compagnon for life ? From your birth ? Never be alone ? Alway someone who will in the same time understands you, support you, yet also give you a kick in the ass when needed ? Yes please 🙏 Damn, this is a dream 😍

[@danielleriley2796]

Yep you’re far far better than AI reading these stories. You could say that you have ‘Skin in the Game..’

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

[@magickmynd1296]

Would have to imagine that the protocols in place for managing the partnerships of human and ship is pretty stringent. Can't have rogue humans with ships that evolve into mass murderers now can we? Also, does EVERY human get a ship? or just certain ones? Because the number of ships that would give humans is just crazy considering how quickly we populate, unless achieving genetic perfection increased our life spans to the point where we manage our own procreation for less offspring similar to other long life species.

[@shadowpheonix787]

I'd pay to play this game.

[@Uzzgub]

A Interaction for the Interaction God, a Comment for the Comment Throne, for the Almighty Algorithm

[@colleens1107]

Sooo…an alien worker was lazy with alien google? Yeah that tracks…but I have to wonder how they didn’t see even in a quick search all the EXTERMINATE memes….

[@Sorain1]

Humans are presented a binary choice. Humans: "I believe we have a meme for this." Humanity decided that clearly, the best kind of ship was the one that was your childhood friend, because if you can't trust your ship, what can you trust? I imagine this also means their navy has a considerable 'unusual reserve' of ships that are currently just hanging around on the group with their partner, and could step up in the event of necessity.

[@MsTalia1]

Also. How people talk to their cars or other transport. Now it can talk back!

[@pugsabi]

🛸🛸🛸

[@CosFreaks]

Where's my ship!? I want one!

[@MarlinMay]

I really enjoyed this. However, it could have used less exposition and more story. Like the theme of the story, a bit of balance is the best way.

[@carlcameron8476]

Poor man, so I can't support you and I apologize for that one day maybe but I do appreciate you, your voice 😢.

[@carlfranz6805]

'A Boy and His Ship". Don't know, somehow not catchy. Ah well, Don Johnson is too old anyway.

[@9LiveEmpire]

Damn a brother ship at birth? Sign me up (Ha! The brothership come out of the morhership. X3 )

[@denniseriksson5154]

Me POV: ship name 'mortar træra de venviktance' Translation; 'the mother terras vengance' Class: remotre battlæwære §ĥāpâ Translation; remote battle-war ship class Weapons: 10 mærtvædeçaŋœn X3. 4 mørtlreĝụñş-aa. 6 mænual-ĺæseŕ gųens X2-variant 4 mæne battælecanens X3