Bill Burr 5 Minute stand-up.

Bill Burr on a Merrick and Rosso comedy special circa May/June 2004.

[@AG-uj1cp]

Bill seriously has the funniest woman impression I've ever heard. Between the face he makes and the voice he does I laugh every time.

[@Seabee156]

@Royal Messiah they probably did

[@jackieboy9120]

Absolutely

[@rontungol1383]

Nah Patrice is more exaggerated honestly and Patrice is more volatile and passive aggressive when he does women bill I always thought was doing his wife lmao if you hear his wife talk

[@hellocar123]

funniest because its the most accurate

[@jacoblockemy8512]

Pablo Francisco is a very close 2nd

[@icyurchins]

Finally, somebody said something about those moronic conversations at diners about pesto.

[@churrocharcharm]

But bro its asparagus

[@pizzafacesuperleipoman8634]

@@churrocharcharm I thought it was pesto!

[@salacommander2674]

FUUUUUUCK NOT AGAIN

[@schloops8473]

@@salacommander2674 hahaha!

[@billburrbites5210]

Wtf's a pesto?

[@miketopper460]

It's aspaaaaragus!!!!

[@Walking-MY-Path]

Mike Topper I thought it was Pesto.

[@superleipoman]

Who would want to sleep in on a sunday when you can go pay 52$ for eggs?

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

@@superleipoman Now you're thinking.

[@thattransstoner_4205]

My friend and I reenact that constantly

[@Heisenberg355]

@@thattransstoner_4205 I am genuinely jealous of that. 😂

[@MrStrike45]

omg Bill kills it every time he performs! Easily one of the most talented comedians of this era

[@JumpinJAKEFlash]

Agreed! He's one of my top ten favorite stand-up comedians.

[@alexandercraver573]

MrStrike45 he can be over the top and make crude examples but his ending points are just great

[@bplmarko8979]

Of all time

[@KhuldonAlsonaine]

I would say Carlin is #1 Bill is 2nd.

[@DavidWCooke]

...of all time!

[@Bassywassy20]

He only had 5 minutes! Holy crap he's good.

[@buckleymordecai9605]

He is a 'god' among men. Lol

[@Sena-co1ug]

He was a seasoned comic by then. 5 minutes is supposed to be cake walk for talented comics.

[@Ismael-kc3ry]

He’s good at the tight 5

[@georgegray2712]

1:59 they're laughing at the $52 eggs for brunch comment because they didn't have to pay for it

[@leiladekwatro3147]

Da Ha Hayum Hahahahaha

[@kartoffelschloss6425]

@Kowl oyes Dating is prostitution except you don't always get what you payed for.

[@pizzafacesuperleipoman8634]

@@kartoffelschloss6425 And there's a massive aftercharge.

[@pizzafacesuperleipoman8634]

@Kowl oyes I don't pay women to have sex with me, I pay them to leave after we did.

[@Rockeman182]

Nailed it!

[@rendermatt]

If women like it, its chivalry. If women don't like it, its sexism.

[@Walking-MY-Path]

logos2600 yeah pretty much.

[@bryanmiller476]

logos2600 which actually is sexist itself

[@Drchainsaw77]

@@bryanmiller476 Soooo..... noticing observable patterns in behavior carries an "--ist" with it.

[@n1te]

wow that's genius ;D

[@joetowers4804]

If he shows interest in her and she is into him, he's a stud. If he does the same, but she is not attracted to him, he's a creep.

[@c41pt41n]

Man, I want Bill Burr saying "FUKKEN NOOO" to be my phone's notification sound

[@utetopia1620]

Rip this video to MP3, cut the resulting audio file... Bam.. there's your ring tone.

[@filip3148]

That fucken no is legendary.

[@dimbasick]

I just did that. Thanks for the idea

[@S1rWakka]

@@filip3148 The "Fuck that! I'm not going (skydiving)!" was legendarier

[@PalashaGabarra]

You can easily set that up if you aren't a boomer.

[@coleeiden20]

“Well at least the women and children go!” “WELL WHAT ABOUT ME?!!!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😂😂😭😭😭😂😂😂😭😭😂

[@A6Legit]

What about meEeEeE 😢

[@xxforeskin_gamerxx4395]

These 5 minutes were literally funnier than Amy Schumer's whole career.

[@DaDitka]

Probably the understatement of the decade.

[@november9595]

amy schumer is not even funny.

[@FredX1977]

Around 5 months ago my girlfriend wanted me to watch that Amy Schumer movie I FEEL PRETTY with her. about 15 minutes in I wanted to kill myself and about halfway through my girlfriend turned it off. It was just like Amy's entire career, an unwatchable catastrophe.

[@TJ-kk5zf]

bypass surgery is funnier than her whole career

[@Only2GendersCommonSense]

5 minutes of knitting is funnier than her whole career.

[@SolaRossonero]

This man says the fucking truth!

[@xFerris]

- The fucking truth.

[@perwiratempur]

xFerris fucking truth

[@SolaRossonero]

SUBSCRIBE TO MY CHANNEL!!!! :D I couldn't avoid to say it XD

[@JazukaiX]

SolaRoxTube Why would anyone do that?

[@Chris_t0]

Lets face it if there was a shuttle saving people from earth men would overpower the women and more men would survive than woman. Times have changed, men are aggressive and can get what they want unlike women.

[@wh3747]

Bill has the PERFECT voice and tone for his kind of comedy.

[@Dman9fp]

But then it sucks people with a similar voice trying to talk about serious stuff lmao, not that this life isn't a comedy/ tragedy to be mostly laughed at, apparently.. xD

[@atheistickhan7216]

Bill Burr : king of truth.

[@jtheman4678]

@@monkadelic13 lmao take it your a fan of Trump

[@jtheman4678]

@Red Pilled Fox you know there a difference between just being a feminist and being a extremist

[@jtheman4678]

@Red Pilled Fox all right man just sounding a little like an extremist yourself. As soon as you start generalizing people into groups, kinda makes you look a little ignorant.

[@jtheman4678]

@jo donkey not really not at all. I take you never listen to his podcast, or seen his last special.

[@nabil5134]

@@jtheman4678 imagine having a superiority complex and use the wrong your

[@Gizmotechno]

I love how the women are laughing their asses off, while a lot of the men in the audience have those half assed laughs thinking "Can I laugh at this? Is it ok if I laugh at this?" lol.

[@nah6430]

Gizmotechno looking at their girlfriends asking permission

[@leftheodo]

You can't call them men if they are afraid to laugh with a joke

[@williehughes1690]

I caught that to good eye

[@sleepover4rover]

Fuckin pussies.

[@raam726]

No, they're showing the women more to show they're not getting offended.

[@doormathobo]

This set is exactly 5 minutes long. Bill Burr is a PROFESSIONAL at tight fives.

[@picklep9812]

It’s edited for time

[@MacLanphear]

@@picklep9812 there’s always one of you, eh?

[@Sebastian-dz2kl]

@@MacLanphear right down the fuckin middle

[@davidfirth]

Is the audience 100% women or did it just keep cutting to them to show they are not getting angry?

[@heroiclegendxxx]

The latter. Love your vids.

[@zakvillarreal8236]

Make more salad fingers

[@badfish2743]

You're fucking amazing.

[@GingerBagels]

Not the real David Firth I assume?

[@ca9782]

GingerBagels Look at his account.

[@jamesh8654]

that "fucking nooo" cracks me up like you won't believe.

[@clarencebignuts9525]

Every time I come across pesto in my life i just hear old billy ballbag's voice in my head and crack the fuck up

[@musicsdarkangel]

Man, Bill Burr just KILLED it.

[@filiporvik2782]

+bledredwine incredible how funny he could be in just 5 mins

[@briandonahue3117]

Something to be said about a 5 min. standup skit that I can watch over and over and it only gets funnier than the last! The most real SOB out there in the spotlight! BILL BURR!

[@briandonahue3117]

It does suck.. although, could he really beat out his latest skits? Not sure there's anything else to say about women! Lol He's pretty witty hopefully it'll be soon.

[@dr.j7542]

Yeah man. Hopefully. This guy's d best

[@Syringey]

He's definitely one of the future legends He is very underrated He has a lot of Carlin-esque boldness

[@tommcdonough7915]

Look at him now, you're right

[@nancyscottartprojects7848]

For reason can burrs career not go further, let's think?! 🤔🤫

[@JoHnAnDjAnEdOe81]

Called it!

[@Tushar_Talwar_09]

The future is here old man...

[@Tushar_Talwar_09]

@Pine Trees Goddamn these 9 hour old fetuses need to stop calling me an old man... The kids these days ugh Talk to me when you're 4 days old kid....

[@daverudaba8564]

This is one of my favorite comedians

[@feliciagrundstrom6624]

are you out of your mind? he's a fucking sexist

[@QuantumFeldspar]

Felicia Grundström shut the fuck up

[@feliciagrundstrom6624]

My Body Is Ready Hello there on you too

[@r.b.2958]

Felicia Grundström Ok lets try to have an intelligent conversation. In what way is he a sexist?

[@feliciagrundstrom6624]

Richard Buhalo No, lets just face that you even had to ask why hi is sexist. So no, in not going to argue with you

[@michaellombard3524]

2:02 "Oh its asparagus...ITS ASPARAGUS!!"

[@pizzafacesuperleipoman8634]

I thought it was PESTO!

[@corykarhoff5941]

@@pizzafacesuperleipoman8634 so worth $52 and a loss of sleep.

[@crummdog8125]

The voice he does kills me

[@nalgene247]

That one middle age woman laughing her ass off. She knows.

[@nyakwarObat]

@@nalgene247 most of them know, surprised someone been paying attention and shortened their list of tricks

[@wyansas]

That Boston accent is funny all over the world.

[@superleipoman]

Boston accent really works for "working class" types.

[@foserk7063]

Along with his imaginative and realistic humour

[@stranraerwal]

@@superleipoman :which Burr embodies perfectly.

[@rosaamarillo2110]

As a Texan married to a Bostonian.... you also don’t F with them, that’s for sure!

[@iggyblitz8739]

Well the accent is one thing but the brilliant jokes and his timing and delivery is what makes it comedy gold.

[@BangMaster96]

Women are strong and independent.............until it's time to be strong and independent

[@mattball7074]

Russian and latinas are tough as nails but yea i agree lmao

[@heretyk_1337]

@The Night King I did- i asked why does she need money from goverment, if she tops everything, as she said herself?

[@heretyk_1337]

@The Night King How is that anybody else`s problem? I mean- if i were to be widowed or she is in coma, or bedridden, and we have 2, 3 kids- that is my problem, and nobody will come to my rescue. But as soon, as women are alone "oh shit, we need to give them money"- and at the same time we need to applaud them for being strong??? I mean- i lose loved one, and have kids- "do your job, asshole!!! You are responsible for them!!!" She loses loved one, and have kids- "she`s so brave and strong!!!" I don`t need a gold medal, crowd appreciation and emotional support for being a single dad, or a guy who would take care of whole house, and a job, while wife is knocking on the heavens door, but if i don`t then she doesn`t as well. And if we want to talk about equality- neither she does need alimony. She wanted to divorce? I don`t give a fuck, if she needs money, or her life standards got worse, or we had kids... If she wants to go her separate way, and take half of my life with her(kids)- "cross for the road", as we say in my country(closest meaning is "God speed"- but in a "good riddance" kind of way). Unless i was a wife- beating, emotional vampire, or i dragged my dick through all her female freinds, she is entitled to the boot in the ass

[@ztwntyn8]

I’m sorry you had a bad day my brother

[@heretyk_1337]

@The Night King Nobody says that. I have few strong women in my family, and nobody is minding that- because they don`t mind strong men as well, and i learned a lot from them... But they never whine, or complain, or want everyone to admire them- we all have our crosses to bear, and they know it. And they are not tough in this bullshit "tough guy" sense

[@danilogora911]

13 years ago and already preaching the real shit Respect Bill

[@transportman3498]

Bill Burr is the funniest comedian on the planet.

[@christianvennemann9008]

"Is that pesto?" LMAOOO! 😂😂

[@schofield-I-am]

This was the first time I saw Bill Burr, one of the greats!

[@universal_wisdom3416]

He will go down as one of the best comedians EVER! This guy is so brutally honest

[@temudjin38]

This is one of his best moments. He’s really enjoying himself too, great to watch.

[@Dijits]

I am tearing in laughter.

[@PurpleElephant808]

5 minutes of perfect execution! Killed it!!! The perfect set!

[@markjames3694]

How many times have I seen this clip? It keeps getting recommended, I watch it again, and I laugh everytime! Bill Burr is absolutely hillarious! Favorite comedian!

[@jaylee6769]

All those girls laughing it off knowing damn well he's talking about them

[@buckleymordecai9605]

Yup! Someone paid the tab...so they HAVE to laugh!

[@warlockthankless5323]

Damn. Can't you people just enjoy a fucking joke?!

[@treecosmos386]

@@warlockthankless5323 Nope! Life is 2 fucking real. Mgtow 4 life

[@criztu]

@@treecosmos386 what do you mean like you don't want to date women?

[@nietzschesmuse]

Women studies were one of my majors in University and I agree with Bill Burr that often feminists dont have a sense of humor by politicizing every issue as Barack Obama said "Pick your battles not everything it is worth a fight/discussion/questioning over. For this reason this crowd was the best public ever!

[@turquoiseheart6320]

15 years later, still relatable and still oh so true!

[@MrWerderaner]

And still funny as hell!

[@vdd1001]

This was 2004 actually (according to the description) so 19 years

[@A6Legit]

I love that I searched "bill burr pesto" and youtube took me directly to the fucking time stamp where he says it. NEXT LEVEL.

[@victorvaldez6785]

This 5 minutes were awesome, love Bill Burr.

[@didarrashid1580]

So much truth told!! 💯👏👏

[@ajaystephen869]

He could impress a crowd with just 5 minutes!! This guy's amazing.

[@JumpinJAKEFlash]

One of the best most hilarious comedians out there right now.

[@deadnlovingit]

Timeless and iconic stand-up act. Will stand true for ages to come

[@alexanderisthere1930]

The best 5 minutes of stand-up ever.

[@drdassler]

That's a rock solid condensed set. They loved every second. 👌🏼

[@bossfan49]

I think Bill does well with many audiences..all over US and the globe, because he doesn't try to win them over. He just relaxes and is himself. (Plus he's just funny)

[@asmrbuddha9033]

You can hear the laydeees laughing louder than the men

[@dougcris09]

ohhh its asparagus!! hilarious! the way he said that made all the difference lol

[@crummdog8125]

Troy McClure the voice is absolute first class 😂😂😂

[@crummdog8125]

It’s absolutely hilarious 😂

[@zacjohnson8404]

"There are no feminists in a house fire" this could go down as a classic quote that will be recited for centuries to come

[@ChocolateThunderBear]

This is one of my favorite comedy bits. Mostly because it's true...

[@memerinal]

KZbin finally recommended something I wanted to see.

[@LordTurtleneck]

I love how increasingly angry some of the women looked. Victory.

[@oogabooga3247]

this was done in Australia. none of the women looked angry, even the one with Dreads, lol.

[@AliJayShannon]

please point out which looked angry

[@souvikbose8583]

Myes naah... I love this crowd... They seem to know its a joke

[@cookiemonxchu]

I feel pity for you.. mental victory shit... i recommend you to go out sometimes.

[@Numinor31]

you fuckin idiots! (Myes and the 171 dumb fucks who liked his comment). i saw fuckin ZERO angry women in this video. i dont know what's worse tho his comment or 171 ignorant assholes actin like a dumb herd. dont your eyes work properly you blind fucks? or are yall just the type that just see what they wanna see...

[@YouAwakeYet]

🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I love his intro Bill- How's it going? Crowd- Yeaa- Bill- (Cuts off the crowd) GREAT!! HAHAHA

[@Emadavid]

His joke writing is great!

[@dady30303]

I love him to, he have the courage to "say" what every man on the planet think!

[@mannenthemythe]

He packs so much into these 5 minutes its incredible. Easily my favourite american comedian

[@DAC_TV]

thats gotta be one of his best stand ups, 5 minutes of pure gold.

[@colinconsidine5209]

What a gem of a young Bill lol he’s more or less the same then as he is now.

[@ACoustaDC]

As a man who has literally been the dress up doll of several girlfriends, that tuxedo line killed me.

[@imrealyboredbro]

This video has better quality than all the UFO videos being released!! It's been 13 years.

[@lalah6157]

This man says, "it's asparagus!" and I'm laughing over and over, ever time I hear it. Two words. Incredibly funny man. God bless him!

[@AlexB-xp4jy]

Man, even 16 years ago he was so GOOD. What a beautiful, pale, freckled man.

[@bullridermusic2054]

Every time he breaks into the girl voice I fuckin die.

[@curiouspilot]

This truth is so true that I'd f**k it.

[@bloodaid]

this was so good, I had to re-watch it. best 5:25 * 2 minutes of my life.

[@HaniYacoub1995]

you must have a very shitty life then..

[@bloodaid]

Hani Yacoub well, it's not shitty enough to feel the urge to comment negatively on other peoples comments. so I don't know why you're doing with your life.

[@JJONDT]

LongJohn Vllasaliu Is I read right and yousaid these where the best 5 minutes of your life you must be drunk

[@bloodaid]

***** why do I have to have a shitty life or be drunk because I like this video very much? are you guys stupid or what? why am I even asking, ofcourse you both are stupid haha

[@MrSigurdur12]

LongJohn Vllasaliu 10/10 solid replies, would read again

[@victorbalderas2184]

Bill Burr makes my day every time I listen to one of his standup .

[@dwaynekoblitz6032]

So timeless. I've heard them all and still laugh. What a great talent!

[@therealgaragegirls]

OMG, I laughed so hard at the Titanic bit. 🤣

[@Luke-qp9fd]

Megan A. Yea of course u did 😒

[@kamenanew9867]

@@Luke-qp9fd dude....wut

[@Luke-qp9fd]

Kamen Anew what ?

[@secretplaylist8638]

World class, Humor based on reality Love this guy

[@insomniac2742]

Shit even as a female the quote "there are no feminists in a housefire " is fcking GOLD. One of my all time favorite one liners lol had me rolling when I first heard it

[@AbsurdistAsian]

Who else saw the thumbnail and could guess what bit would be in the video? 🤣 It's a sign we watch too much Bill Burr but his jokes never get old.

[@didier2124]

I'm in Aus, I remember watching it, never had heard of him. My life of comedy changed forever more, Bill rules

[@no-bozos]

Have you seen the video of him slaying Philadelphia? He became a legend that night.

[@tiagomartinho77]

This crowd was awesome, thats how it should always be for Bill

[@Sennanchie]

Oh my god. He is one of the few comedians who really make me laugh my ass off. It's a combination of his material and the way he says it. Man, he is fucking funny! "Is that pesto in your omelette? Which I can attest to. He brings up real life situations and makes them so funny. This guy is totally under rated!!! I love Bill Burr!!!

[@kathyaroundtheworld2282]

He is amazing. Loving his comedy.

[@richardsorel201]

Bill Burr is absolutely hilarious! These five minutes of better than an entire hour of other comedians routines!

[@AD-uf4lh]

This bit is so much more amazing uncensored!

[@Zzyxzaa]

Jeez, they really felt the need to cut to 20 different women laughing with this.

[@Perfectpearl]

"Oh, I'm just a girl. I want to go jump rope." Lmmfao

[@CRYNGU]

this guy is one of the reasons why I have to study English. I really love to see this vid without subtitle!

[@M16music69]

It's been one year..how u doin on it?

[@Sena-co1ug]

" . . . reason why I *[want]* to study English."

[@gianthechmas9414]

It's been 2 years. How you doin on it?

[@mikeyh0]

And that set was just the tip of the iceberg. One of the best.

[@jeffiek]

There's just so much you can get into a comedy routine and still have it funny. He did a damn good job.

[@junmafia]

Bill burr killing it again !!!! that guy is just too good

[@genabla]

"Is that pesto?" Still laughing 2020...

[@chrisgabele75]

I almost thought Bill was going to relate to Jack from Titanic. Since in the end of the movie Rose has to hog all the space on a wooden board while Jack freezes in the water.

[@mafistowaltz4857]

Yea, & those wooden doors back then were HUGE! LoL

[@wutang2530]

Absolute legend, one of the funniest comedians ever

[@strix9013]

Still killing it 14 years later.

[@jasonroman8470]

Felicia, they're jokes, he is a comedian. Everything he is saying is true in one way or the other, just because it offends you makes him right in so many ways, notice all the women here are laughing. Because they know he's joking but there is still valid points behind his comedy, which makes him a genius at bridging the gap in a crowd.

[@ThisHandleFeatureIsStupid]

I don't know who this is replying to, but I betcha anything this "Felicia" character is awful at sex. Can you even *imagine* how shitty you'd have to be to be a woman and not be enjoyable at sex?!

[@100Italian]

Those women on the left are taking their fellas to Brunch @ 1:45

[@olivier4218]

100% Italian hahahahahaha

[@bryanmiller476]

Well bet the men are actually the ones paying for the food

[@monkadelic13]

but they are eating avocado toast not eggs.

[@USCmc2]

Spot the feminist 1:45

[@aidanquakenbush7211]

Hahahhahahahga

[@thegreatgatsby8180]

Hardihood bitches.!

[@derekrichardson8312]

Lol,well spotted.I had to watch it again.😆😆😆👍

[@superleipoman]

haha i have watched this video a few times, but I never saw her. Hell, I would break up if a girl didn't think this shit was funny.

[@jaysoawsome1]

The one in the black and the one sitting on the right just above her in the white turtleneck she is just over her left shoulder in the frame all angry😂😂

[@omogbaiatakpu1866]

watched this multiple times and it gets me every time lmao

[@user-ri2yh1ce7y]

Greatest comedian of all time, bar none. I know there were greats before and among him but no one's got the awareness this guy has or their finger on the pulse- he speaks to me

[@Zabuza3190]

Now he’s married with a kid.

[@ALLCAPS]

It's just a comedy skit.

[@TruthGatherer2013]

"he's married with a kid" that just sounds ... lol

[@ployter94]

He probably found a parachute that opens up

[@v-town1980]

CAPS, but still it's ironic.

[@Venkman007]

Me and a buddy at work deal with the public all the time, so when we run across a stupid idiot, our universal term when imitating them is, "IS THAT PESTO-?"

[@pointbeingproductions5796]

Every time I hear the word "pesto" I always think "it's asparagus "

[@JonahNelson7]

@@pointbeingproductions5796 haha

[@pweter351]

The general public are idiots the worst is when they are rich

[@Brandon-co8fs]

this guy is absolutely hilarious

[@trev1978]

BEST 5 minutes of stand up comedy EVER!

[@SuperGaleford]

Never Gets Old

[@Chris_T1an]

Great crowd.

[@PyroPyroPanda]

thanks 9gag, one of the best 5 minutes of my life ever!

[@bonnyathome]

This bit never gets old

[@nox7974]

What a great crowd!!

[@angekattts22]

It's good to see the Aussie audience getting his stand up routine, though I've seen this same exact piece performed for the Amicans and they seemed to get intro it whole heartedly