Air Too Pure | HFY | a Short Sci-Fi Story

[@Naeron66]

For anyone who doesn't know the reference the West Africa Squadron was formed by the Royal Navy in 1808 to suppress the transatlantic slave trade, it is estimated to have freed 150,000 slaves.

[@jonathanj8303]

So is the "air too pure" thing - there's an English court judgement that uses exactly that phrasing from 17-something to justify that any slaves on board a ship (anyone's ship) in English waters (this was technically before the formation of the UK) was automatically free, whatever the law said elsewhere, or however the ex-slave got there.

[@wm.tomlinson1434]

Like I said, well done. Excellent writing.

[@mr.robinson1982]

Thanks, I wondered what the H3LL that was aboot.

[@Naeron66]

@@jonathanj8303 Sort of, it is attributed to Lord Justice Mansfield who ruled in 1772 that a slave brought to England could not be removed from the country by his owner. That case did not actually say that any slave who breathed English air was free. While it did not ban slavery it was a significant ruling that strengthened the movement for the abolition of slavery. It may have been said by someone else during the trial. The news report of the time contains this part of Mansfield's ruling: "The state of slavery is of such a nature, that it is incapable of now being introduced by Courts of Justice upon mere reasoning or inferences from any principles, natural or political; it must take its rise from positive law; the origin of it can in no country or age be traced back to any other source: immemorial usage preserves the memory of positive law long after all traces of the occasion; reason, authority, and time of its introduction are lost; and in a case so odious as the condition of slaves must be taken strictly, the power claimed by this return was never in use here; no master ever was allowed here to take a slave by force to be sold abroad because he had deserted from his service, or for any other reason whatever; we cannot say the cause set forth by this return is allowed or approved of by the laws of this kingdom, therefore the black must be discharged."

[@danielleriley2796]

Didn’t they also find that midish ocean island where they processed and sold slaves. And then proceeded to blow it the fuck up with canon fire.

[@danielknapp3141]

The fact they managed to sneak in a clause about the air being too pure for a slave into their intergalactic law to give them a way to combat slavery like that is brilliant.

[@KikinCh1kin]

We are a stubborn lot. Stubborn enough we literally ran a few species to extinction.

[@ArticWolfv]

I do believe those are paraphrasing Lord Mansfield when he was celebrating the case of Somerset v Stuart

[@maxxcarver5502]

​@@ArticWolfvUnfortunately , england didn't enforce this law in 53 , when the saudi arabians came to england and brought slaves with them. For the inauguration of the queen.

[@bluefmi]

@@maxxcarver5502 "Unfortunately , england didn't enforce this law in 53" so you are here NOT to throw mud at the muslims that use slaves now and used to hunt for slaves and western countries had to wage the barbary wars to get them to stop you are here to throw mud at one of the countries that shed blood in those wars to STOP slavery yep, that tells us what your agenda is

[@Genesis23OPB]

which is ironic given how england profited greatly from slave trade

[@kevinmorgan4267]

As an Englishman this had me smiling with outbursts of laughter, i do hope their journey continues i'm hooked!! loved the nod to Star Wars in the bar.

[@rogerthomas7040]

There is a great SiFi book called "The Excalibur Alternative" that has a 14th-century English army abducted by aliens and the resulting results of introducing a group of fighting Brits to the galaxy.

[@kevinmorgan4267]

@@rogerthomas7040 Sounds interesting, i think i shall have to go find this book, could be full if giggles. Thanks

[@stephenpickering8063]

@@rogerthomas7040 There is actually an earlier book with a similar story, High Crusade by Poul Anderson published in 1960. I read that quite a while back and remembered the plot. Not sure if Drake had read that or a separate evolution but sounds like the same core plot. Had me in stitches the over the top British gent, but with a few good references to English/British history including the historical Lord Mansfield declaration that forbade slavery in England itself. Pity even this long in the future we're still losing to India at cricket through. :(

[@mothmagic1]

Likewise.

[@WolfA4]

The worst part of this story is knowing there aren't more chapters to it.

[@unhippy1]

Hopefully that changes....

[@sandrosliske]

No 😢

[@brotherdoomsday]

Sadly

[@johnruckman2320]

Dang, I was hoping for a part 2.

[@oldnwise]

​@@johnruckman2320Why are you hoping for only part 2? If I have to hope for something, it better be for part 2 to 99.

[@SuperXAsh]

*Talassia upon hearing about the Hadron Collider* Talassia: WHY WOULD YOUR SPECIES DO THAT?!?! Dickie: *shrugs* I dunno. 'Why not?' I guess?

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Because it's the peak of throwing rocks.😂

[@bobsterclause342]

but why though loop started

[@ML-uu7wy]

Aleis-Holy shit that was funny… thanks for the laugh

[@Senok13]

" - That's not, how physics work! - I know, but for some reason, it does work. We just go with it."

[@Zasek2112]

"We're flying around on 4 wormholes???" "oh no, it's hundreds of times worse than that." 🤣

[@billcook7285]

The commander is clearly a cat person. 😂

[@EoinKeithBoyle65536]

All the best beings are

[@billcook7285]

@@EoinKeithBoyle65536 😂 I don't really want to disagree

[@CDWCAULDRON]

Yes yes It is Prrrrfict!

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

bad enough if someone try hold one fluffy species as slave.. woe if one try hold more then one species classed as 'fluffy' as slave ;)

[@AlexandreMS71]

And she had nothing to wear for dinner ... that's unfortunate, or is it?

[@carlyoung6111]

This story was just too funny. More please about Dickie and his crew of lunatics. As to the engineer taking his socks off with two bits of string and a bazooka.... priceless.

[@marksmusicCC]

One of the best stories so far... Nothing better than the cocky English humor, a thousand years from now it will still be there

[@jonhayes2937]

I have always loved the English Gentleman Explorer/Soldier characters. So unperturbed by anything. "Sir, we are being attacked by let me check...Everything." "Oh drat, I shall be miffed if tea is interrupted."

[@RequiemPoete]

And as he drinks his tea non pulsed, he tuts at his Yankee comrad for his well meaning but undignified mannerisms.

[@Rurne]

Ah yes, the Ol’ “Molotov up the ovipositor” stealth attack. *wince*

[@TheHalcyonAnon]

*frees slave, casually starts war*

[@mothmagic1]

Sounds like the British way of doing things

[@pauldwalker]

I like it. I hope the author creates more stories in this universe.

[@aaronholmes-black6621]

"Jolly Good!" *Punches hand through chest*

[@ChaotiX1]

"Empty thy pantaloons!" *stabs you*

[@MsDogleaf]

The only thing a good sir would do

[@wyattguilliams5325]

Gives command to change the flag and alerts the higher ups ""I'm about to start a war""

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

"Chi Haaa you shit!!"

[@notester5860]

Love it. Going into Battle and he is straight up Captain Kirk asking her to dinner.

[@risingwind8943]

This could be an amazing sci fi book series about humanity's crusade against slavery. With the awesome overtone of "humans are OP".

[@Vershond]

If you havent heard of it already, I highly recommend the "Deathworlders" series that starts with "The Kevin Jenkins Experience" There isnt any freeing of slaves but there is humanity spreading out into the stars while being OP

[@Shadow.Dragon]

Excellent story! Definitely need more episodes!

[@FenrisUlfven]

Agreed!

[@Darth.Fluffy]

I love the idea of the West Africa Squadron being reborn in space.

[@joskarifinaukr6503]

That tube ship is the most bizarre concept I've heard of, and the image creeps me out. Too many holes, I forget what that instinctive fear is called.

[@mymartianhome]

One of the few stories I have read that makes me want a whole series in this universe in general and this crew of madmen in particular. Although perhaps with a certain Bagrath or two added to the crew.

[@fernyyy]

This story desperately needs to become a much longer story. Definitely in the top 5 that I’ve heard on KZbin.

[@TommieTrumper-TFC1200]

This was an absolute spiffing show! Crumpets and tea all round I say!😂

[@HaydnRees]

Excellent! We applaud this literary offering, particularly0 stylistically speaking. We also encourage the author to relate other Yarns, Ripping or otherwise, from the logs and journals of Fortescu-Smyth and HMS Endevour.

[@najroe]

I enthusiastically second that. or as my teen niece put it, More pleEeEeeeEease! (said loudly in a wavering pleading voice)

[@lemonlemonlemonlemonlemonlemo]

dickie is such a fun character i need more of this

[@keithplymale2374]

You have got to continue this. We have to know how dinner goes.

[@Denpachii]

Aged Legume. AGED LEGUME! It took me a second, then I was asked why was laughing so hard. By the people downstairs!

[@mileselon1339]

Good show, jolly good show! I especially love the bit with the Hydron Collider and how that correlates to gravity on the FREAKING 1 KM LONG FRIGATE! Seriously frigates have never been THAT big before. So that begs the question... What would a cruiser be like?

[@stephenpickering8063]

Only about 2-3km I would say. Of course the ship of the line would be somewhat larger. ;) In reality I would suspect that if we ever get around to interstellar travel many ships would be a lot larger than that. However the description of the ship's power system and the way it went into combat made for something original, which is another great point in the story.

[@jakubw.2779]

​@@stephenpickering8063oh i wouldn't be do sure about that size question. Sure, colonization ships will probably be about the size of this frigate, because it will have to house the colonists, supplies and all the hardware they will need in the first months or years. But other ships? Especially warships? I don't really see any reason for them to be this big, unless the technology would require it as in this case. But as with everything in our tech we will pursue maximum miniaturization to keep the cost low. The ships we will take to the stars wont be bigger than necessary.

[@stephenpickering8063]

@@jakubw.2779 It would depend on how technology worked out to a degree but to maintain a substantial warship in operation for a period of time, especially away from bases would require a lot of resources. You need all that the crew requires to survive as well as some other facilities for their morale to stay high plus whatever armour and weaponry along with most of all propulsion. Some form of warp drive may be fairly simple size and energy wise but for travel inside a system you would need both power plants and mass to expel, unless you found a way around the general laws of motion. As such as for large ships, say cruisers and higher, I would suspect that the ~1km length size would be pretty much a minimum unless a hell of a lot of issues are solved.

[@jakubw.2779]

@@stephenpickering8063 that's what i'm talking about. And besides ship based weaponry is already automated, so i would expect even more automation. It's all coming down to power plant and propulsion which probably will take a bulk of space on a ship, but we already have small nuclear reactors, the size of a bus or maybe bit bigger and current tokamaks/fusion reactors aren't as big that would require kilometer ships, for obvious reasons i can really tell how big the ftl drives will be. But i can bet that they will go through the inevitable process of miniaturization. Only thing that's really uncertain is crew, but if it will be strictly a warship and given they will rather move in fleets or at least groups than in singular manner, unless it's an emergency, so only minimal autonomy would be needed the crew for a theoretical cruiser would be similar to today's cruisers, that is about 300 members. Well there's also a gravity factor i almost forgot, so if we wouldn't be able to generate artificial gravity and would be forced to using acceleration as a form of keeping things "on the ground" then only additional accommodation for crews would be better and bigger gyms to fight the effects of zero gravity on our bodies. That is if we're actually able to survive few months without gravity without severe damages to our bodies and brains, because that's also not yet confirmed .

[@_AcatHat]

​@@jakubw.2779the propulsion system appears to require the ships be that large

[@Bespelled22]

“She had nothing to wear for dinner”. Well worth the wait

[@stephenstonge7968]

Yeah, gotta love that through all this insanity, the last punch is.. The captain is a furry.

[@protoborg]

@@stephenstonge7968 No. The captain is a cat lover.

[@warpedweirdo]

I guess she'll have to wear nothing at all...😆... the kitty will be bare. Maybe after desert ol' Dickie will give her the good petting she's been longing for. I wonder, will she purr at his touch?

[@david2869]

Their initial introduction reminds me of President Skroob inhaling Perri-air from a can in Spaceballs: The Movie.

[@EoinKeithBoyle65536]

In this way, you are shown that this will be a high-quality story. Please remember to exit through the merch tables

[@mr.robinson1982]

We all love "Yogurt"

[@david2869]

@@mr.robinson1982 Even with strawberries?

[@Senok13]

@@david2869 That was the Jam!

[@RequiemPoete]

​@@david2869Especially with strawberries. But, did you comb the desert?

[@noahkleugh9323]

Great belly laughs! Thanks for the "Jolly Good" tale.

[@stefanhumphrey2967]

for a final thought " I have nothing to wear for dinner" that's a hell of a way to close

[@tauman33]

This here would make a damn fine series.

[@danielleriley2796]

That was awesome! I like how even after being a slave Thalassa still had the drive to take advantage and run as soon as the opportunity presented and then didn’t go crazy but planned and positioned herself to hide in plain sight. No wonder Dickie likes her, a woman who was smart and very anti slavery and STILL full of fight. I recon Thalassa will sign up to serve on the endeavour when she gets her passport! She could be the ‘freed slave receiving officer’. It also sounds like she wouldn’t even need her own quarters…

[@meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee2]

Royal Navy ships counted as English/British soil so when they were anchored in West Indian ports slaves would swim out to the ships, where they could climb on board and ask to sign on to the ships crew as free men. West Indian sailors are depicted on the base of Nelsons column in Trafalgar Square, as a result of this method of joining the Navy.

[@trainknut]

As soon as it clicked to me what “air too pure” _actually_ meant, I immediately got goosebumps. It makes way too much sense that this would be the way we humans would go about freeing the slaves of the galaxy. Following the traditions of the first to do it here on Earth.

[@mileselon1339]

Yeah the US and UK were quite dogged in their pursuits against slavery. Jolly good show that was

[@trainknut]

@@mileselon1339 And yet they still get all of the blame despite being the ones who finally put a stop to it. Really shows how much we appreciate those who bring about change..

[@mileselon1339]

@@trainknut Hey, stupid people are ones that talk the loudest. They never narrow things down. Stupid people always say this general populace is to blame but this one isn't, and often justify it for a mountain out of a mole hill of reasons! At the end of the day, our two nations were the first to push back, and we were both the first to win that war.

[@quigglebert]

​@trainknut it's targeted to demoralise the USA and UK, its not an accident this has reared up around the same time as other nations have become rising stars

[@SovietReunionYT]

​@@trainknut I'm pretty sure the other person's comment is ironic. The UK does NOT have a particularly praiseworthy history regarding slavery. You should look into it, so as not to make a fool of yourself again in the future. And just the claim that they were the first alone is enough to tell you've gotten your version of history from the patriotic propaganda taught in every nation's schools and have never questioned it.

[@Nevir202]

I like how this was laid out. When the second scene started I thought it took place after, and they were now launching a coordinated rescue for the others. Cool how it totally reframed the original scene instead.

[@fabel1429]

Absolutely brilliant 👏 bravo chap/chapette

[@karlgru3n654]

More of this, please! There's a good chap...

[@KarterBigs]

Another great vid Jonathan! Think maybe we could get a blooper reel?

[@sethhenty6128]

isnt like some google translate thing? how would it have bloopers

[@KarterBigs]

@@sethhenty6128 he does a lot of editing behind the scenes, you can look by the speed that he's putting out his videos that he isn't just plugging them in, he also generates art and a whole bunch of other stuff to go along with it I'm 99% sure since he goes through that much effort already that he goes through his videos of a fine-toothed cone and edits out some of the botched material by the AI. You got to admit though, if he does do that, him taking some of the best bloopers from that and adding some text commentary reactions to it would be absolutely hilarious

[@epicbunny2969]

Text to speech / ai voices aren’t perfect from what I’ve heard and they don’t always pronounce words correctly

[@scifistories1977]

Thanks again! I do have to go through each video in real time from start to finish fixing the caption mistakes and strange words pronunciation. Even today, it couldn't say lives (just liv-s if thats at all easy for you to work out from that). Took a few goes to get it right! I'm not sure if there has been a misunderstanding, but my name isn't Jonathan. I do appreciate your super-thanks, but I just want to make sure you're giving to the correct person.

[@KarterBigs]

@scifistories1977 No mistake! Look at my comment from Black Ship CH15 Pt2, Guy changed his name but when he orginally replied he was called Jonathan so it's just a running joke now

[@thedarcbird]

That was fantastic! I sincerely hope there's a sequel. I mean, I have to know what she wore to the dinner!

[@td6647]

Jolly good story old chap! Great combination of laughs and semi serious plot, please continue!😊

[@BH_UbaPapa]

Great story. Probably should have been delivered in an British accent, but awesomely delivered none the less!

[@kerryarmstrong3231]

Please make this a series! It's excellent!!

[@davidorf3921]

Oh very good, not often a Sci-Fi story has me laughing out loud by the end

[@jfuzi3605]

This made me smile......great writing sir or madam who originally wrote this, its nice to hear a damned good "story" that tells itself and is fun to listen to.

[@johncunningham4820]

Britishers in Space . I Love it ! THIS IS A GREAT STORY , I definitely hope there is MORE to it . Because This DID sound like a " Pilot " .

[@lindacarter457]

Thanks!

[@scifistories1977]

Thabk you, Linda. It's very much appreciated!

[@aeternusdoleo4531]

"The air of England is too pure for any slave to breathe..." London just suffocates the entire concept I suppose.

[@godhimself478]

The landscape is nice

[@Rust1809]

​@@godhimself478Man will live in literal hell and say "The landscape looks nice, tho!"

[@MichaelSmith-lv6lg]

Gotta LOVE the SAS! Outstanding story. Bravo Zulu. Bring more

[@markschneider8815]

Since they are on a ship, wouldn't that be the SBS?

[@charlespanache7047]

Really good story, i wish it was a little bit longer because this ones so interesting and has a lot going on.

[@michaelfuller244]

Glad to know that pocket squares aka handkerchiefs are still in use.

[@lindacarter457]

Great story and the story teller! Loved the "English" flavor and understated humor!!

[@Nevir202]

TBH, the idea on a cylindrical warship with armaments all the way around, spinning so that every one of them gets a chance to fire on the same targets is so brilliantly simple, I can't believe I've never seen it before.

[@julius_trifinity]

Angular momentum would be lost when projectiles are shot, though might increase projectile speed. Interesting

[@Nevir202]

@@julius_trifinity Ya, firing when the weapon is in the part of its "orbit" where it is essentially moving straight at the target would eliminate.... I've just read your comment again and realized that I misread it, thinking you were worried about the momentum of the weapon would impart undesired momentum to the projectile. lol

[@alganhar1]

Overly complex, the machinery required to keep those compartments spinning would take up a good deal of internal volume. Displacement would not be such an issue in space as it is on Earth, but internal volume would still be a vital, and limited resource for warships in space as it is on warships on Earth today. You only have so much of it, and you have to use all that internal volume in the most efficient manner possible. Would be easier to keep the weapons static, and simply rotate the ship itself.....

[@Nevir202]

@@alganhar1 WTF are you talking about? You don't need machinery to spin a ship in space/ Once it starts spinning, you don't even need more energy to keep spinning... Ah, I see, you read what I wrote, imagined I said something I didn't and then proposed that instead of what I said, do exactly what I said.

[@bradblakephoto]

"Aged Legume" This whole story is just brilliant!

[@damirserbanovic]

This is really well written ! I hope there is part two :)

[@TheGreatSeraphim]

A tubular ship a kilometer long spinning broadside. Funny... but what's more terrifying is the described engines could be used in reverse and fire darkmatter at ftl vaporizing everything in front of it.

[@NeneExists]

Any sufficiently large engine is indistinguishable from a big gun.

[@protoborg]

@@NeneExists Kind of reminds me of the Planet Killer in STO.

[@nct948]

what surprising collection of exhilarating stories. Just great. Thank you so much for all this work shared so generously.

[@terryluedtke9808]

I viewed 100's of stories this is the first that has made me LOL, I love it PLEASE write more of this story🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂 and the first time I have ever comented on any of them!!!

[@1amTheory]

I agree 👍

[@michelelyons9410]

I can well imagine Humans kicking over the table on slavers. This was a terrific story, really fabulous! But seriously, you ended it too soon! I wanted to know what happened in the Captain's cabin that night!!

[@Questor-ky2fv]

Just started listening to this story while having my bedtime snack, but have to go to bed now. I'm very tired and really need my sleep. I'm very interested in the story though, so I saved it to finish it later. Some programs grip you right away, like this one. Others quickly turn you off, like a lousy movie I tried to watch earlier today in the common room of the nursing home I'm staying at while I recover from an illness. I quickly dumped the movie and returned to my room. One of the staff told me later that a lot of other watchers also dumped the movie after I left. I think some of them only stayed long enough to eat their popcorn.😂 Anyway, I'm looking forward listening to the rest of this story tomorrow.😊

[@pauldockins9635]

This is one of the best stories I have read or listen to in a long time. Hopefully they’ll be more. Thank you so very much.

[@varlunmulland3992]

I don't know if I've just gotten used to the AI voice, or if it's gotten better. But it sounds really good! It has all the natural intonations of human speech.

[@brotherdoomsday]

Nicely old chap... top drawer!!! Wish all the HFY were as well written. Made me burst out laughing a couple of times.

[@markalan3108]

and the lasts part "she had nothing to wear". too funny

[@KennethMulmat]

Fantastic - tales like this will make anyone's day a joy. Oh for my time back in Croydon.

[@The_Daily_Tomato]

What? What is this? I demand a part two! 😄

[@leonievanheerden7090]

What a great story, written from different perspectives... neatly done, so thank you and much appreciation author/narrator 💐⭐

[@deborahmcneil747]

I LOVED this story and the narration. Great humour. BUT I WANT MORE of THIS story - it finished far too soon.

[@Bill_Bogan]

This was the best story I have heard in ages. All the right bits to make a person laugh at ourselves and our bahaviours. Awesome job.

[@DarkVoidRealm]

this needs a follow up.

[@scifistories1977]

I've asked the author if he wants to because this story was so good. He's going to get back to me.

[@DarkVoidRealm]

@@scifistories1977 Eool, thanx for letting me know.

[@butterg9535]

I'd like to have seen whatever Talassia saw on the view screens to change her mood from "sure death" to "getting my freak on tonight".

[@martyschrader]

This is the kind of story that makes SF worth reading. Well, hearing in this case. Absolutely wonderful. I presume there is more of this. Gotta look for it.

[@sarahdabardayan7465]

Brilliant! More please.

[@goodnightohsleeplessone]

Talassia: breaths air, and sits with human Everyone: your my friend now, we’re having soft tacos later

[@elesairiontwiddle9571]

I loved this, so stereotypical but brilliantly scripted, I had to look up Lord Mansfield Edict to learn its true, I knew the situation that it arose but not the legal president. To the author, I would humbly request a series.

[@stevenf1953]

I hope you will find a Part 2 of this one. I love space battles. I love your stories. Please keep them coming.

[@saiyanprince989]

Those last couple of lines were golden.

[@phi-net2437]

I now want an entire story about this engineer lol, he sounds magnificent

[@DocIsEvil]

Solid story funny and action packed. With that being said ima need some more.

[@shadowpoet4398]

Now THIS is the kind of story I like. Reminds me of my own stories about a machine worshipping techno-religious militaristic order that operates to end slave trades where they find them.

[@bruceberadino]

Oh boy, a molotov cocktail right to the egg layer. That's gotta hurt

[@jakkittleson5498]

lol 2 bits of string to remove socks ! to funny !

[@fatihduran2110]

Search "Removing Socks with a Rocket Launcher", a mad lad called Colin Furze actually did it :D

[@retireeelectronics2649]

That was excellent, hopefully more to come.

[@sowhats.6100]

Fantastic! Enjoyable, fun read. Well done.

[@RequiemPoete]

I just picture their ship colors as a black field with a gold lion gripping broken shackles.

[@Y2KNW]

Took me too long to connect "HMS.." and "aged legume" to mean it's a Brit using the term "old bean".

[@thebigstick117]

Love this story. Please update if it ends up becoming a series

[@itsumikoroko]

"no other species lies in war" WELL THEN THEY'RE GONNA LEARN RIGHT QUICK

[@indigenoussober407]

Old Bean is a fittingly space British insult 😂

[@frankyanish4833]

Old bean is actually a term of indifferent friendliness.

[@MrTex1954]

LOL! Loved it! The ending caught me totally by surprise but was so good!!! 😂😂😁😁😄😄

[@GenStallion]

Classic and one of the ones that got me into hfy.

[@AnikaJarlsdottr]

"I am stood on a ship that defies my understanding of physics as it vapourises a slaver fleet... but I am supposed to dine with the captain later and I have nothing acceptable to wear"

[@Rust1809]

Light novels be like

[@ServantOfOdin]

Jolly good read, ol' chap. Aw'fully dread there be no more stories of Dickie and his merry band of Endeavourors...

[@jamesshillinglaw6884]

Star Trek TOS but British. Charming.

[@Chilled_Mackers]

Splendid, as soon as i heard 'aged legume' - I knew this was going to be good. Jolly good chap, I say, do you have anymore from this author?

[@WinchesterLock]

I was enjoying that, shame there wasn't more

[@richardarveaux5565]

How the hell are we to read the other stuff available to us after that rockin great story. Bring more of this universe to light for the world to enjoy, or better yet, writhe them and send them all to me, I'll be in good humor for a long time to come.

[@player0additem0noif]

Aged legume... gonna be my new favorite saying.

[@toasterhavingabath6980]

I dont really understand it

[@grinsikleinpo7]

There is only way. Gimme more of this stuff. Much more! Its funny like hell. Thats the think i need. Mush better then the stories i had in the last 10 years. It remenbers me a little bit of Terry Pratchett.

[@richardcreurer2935]

Or Jerry Boyd, hint: Bob and Nikki ebooks.

[@cmc7256]

This is definitely one of my favorite stories so far. So good.

[@davidknight3249]

Lol. What will I wear tonight? Delightful story!

[@akila_melindeth]

I Love the A-Team vibe this has with nods to Han Solo and the insane British explorer trope. Love it, need a part 2. Who tf wrote this masterpiece?