AITA For HATING My Wife's Private Journal?

[@fcold9402]

Video game: Oh you will never see her again, no loss. Do not buy your nephew anything. Do not buy your sister anything. They owe you 4-5 hundred dollars.

[@jennstewart3003]

Amen! Oh I never get to see you again? Great I won't have to loan you anymore money !!!!

[@cheskydivision]

If the story is true giving nephews gift to son was the perfect thing to do. Give the broken pieces to nephew.

[@luckyrocket9450]

Awesome im bitch enuf to love that idea

[@viddergrapho8488]

I'm sure it is true. It was either Playstation or XBox who had to publicly say "do NOT blow your vape smoke into the console to make videos claiming it's trying to start on fire." The full suggestion being that if it DOES break from water vapor, they won't cover your dumb ass. But do people learn? No, because they're stupid.

[@enkiimuto1041]

Going back as a kid wanting consoles that family couldn't afford and being bullied, this was an orgasmatic justice

[@jakeand9020]

I don't know why this story is viewed with such scepticism. This sort of behavior, particularly with older cousins, has been going on since children having consoles was a thing. Probably longer if you replace console with some other toy type thing. That's way before KZbin or twitch or whatever social media made it a trend. I know of basically this exact scenario playing out with a friend of mine when I was young. The only difference is, back then nobody sided with the spoilt little brat except his parents, the ones responsible for making him such a little s*it. These days it seems like everyone is trying to normalize this entitlement. The only reason I have any hope for humanity left is that global communication just makes this seem more common because it's the bad stuff that gets the attention.

[@schokigirl1989]

Story 4: "My sister asked me why I was making such a big deal when I had another one already." Yeah, because if you have 2 of something, that means you can smash one, right? Especially expensive stuff. I mean people with 2 cars only buy the second one, to crash the first one. Thats common knowledge! /s

[@littleolmee]

STory 1: NTA. The mom needs to get away from the husband & get the kids into therapy. Story 2: NTA. He can feel however he feels. I just wonder if it's worth staying married? Personally I wouldn't have ever read them in the first place. If she said he should read them I'd have told her if she has things to say, say it to my face. She needs to own what she is saying. Story 3: YTA. I can understand why the wife isn't happy about going. Stay home this year let things cool down. Story 4: NTA. The nephew broke OP's son's system said it was a baby toy, so he doesn't deserve one. If the extended family think the nephew deserves one then they can put the money out for one. Story 5:

[@THE_Mirage]

Story 5, the forbidden story

[@20dabarr58]

I was willing to give the wife the benefit of the doubt, because I've been in a very similar situation before - not the cheating part, of course, but someone reading my diary when I didn't want them to. I only write in it after significant moments, and one of them was mostly anger after an argument we had. I was pretty harsh, but it was absolutely not a reflection on her character. She's a wonderful person and my best friend, which is what I said in previous entries. The more I think about it, the more it feels like an attempt to gaslight

[@dillongage]

In story 3 OPs wife was 100% fine taking the kids there when the OPs DAD, was the one that cheated MULTIPLE times. Wife is being self righteous, and a bit sexistm

[@larrackell]

The nephew ruined his own goddamn Christmas. You know, "naughty and nice" and all.

[@teddybearkiller5271]

Agreed.

[@xientau9028]

Absolutely. That kid needs to learn AT LEAST 2 things: 1. Actions have consequences. (We can probably check this one off, judging by this story) 2. The value of a dollar. (Anyone who actually has to work hard to earn enough money to buy their own videogame console will be that much more reluctant to smash it, and hopefully that applies to their treatment of other people's consoles as well.)

[@colinharrison7204]

What’s up with family always picking the offenders side. WTF

[@MarkNarrations]

It’s crazy right?

[@xTwilightWolvesx]

They’ve been conditioned into tiptoeing around the offender’s feelings, or even thinking it’s normal. They try to “keep the peace” and blame the victim for “rocking the boat” and disturbing that illusion of a good/happy family. It’s wrong, but that’s how it works with these kind of families. The only cure is to leave said family and start a new life away from them.

[@scarysara9364]

Yeah and the friends seem to do it alot as well; either they're all assholes aswell or they were told a completely different and misleading story.

[@robertbishop5158]

You become conditioned to this being the normal

[@june7343]

Everyone's first question is why is he reading her journal but mine is Why are you still in a relationship with such a harmful person

[@wrestlingfan3117]

True. I don’t care about the journals, just how hurtful that woman is to him.

[@Bleg94]

thats the only important question here she seems to hate him she cheated on him why stay with such a person?

[@johannaweichsel3602]

He says they have 2 kids who need constant support (non-vervbal autism)

[@Bleg94]

@@johannaweichsel3602 yes thats a reason, but questionable (depending on the person) whether thats a good one or not

[@Charl_00tte]

@@Bleg94 and he's a man. If he lives in America, he will loose the court case unless she is physically abusive. My mother is not fit to parent, and she won custody of me.

[@15oClock]

1. Alternate title: "I am I the asshole for standing up to misogyny?" No, you never are, and OP should run as soon as possible. 2. Good God, this is a toxic marriage! This was never a healthy way to communicate, especially for it's frequency, and how this was the first infidelity is beyond me. 3. Not sure either parent is a good choice if they're both awful. I'd spend Thanksgiving with the family that doesn't have this drama, like a normal one. 4. Suddenly, actions have consequences! If OP wanted to teach his nephew a lesson he'd never forget, resending a Christmas gift would surely do it.

[@moelewis7973]

“Everybody makes mistakes” I’m response to cheating sounds like something a cheater would say.

[@juanmiguelreyes8502]

Cheating isn't mistake, it's a conscious decision to betray your partner for selfish reasons

[@Tokuijin]

I was kind of wondering that, does the Op in that story got women (or men) on the side?

[@zerobolt9506]

@@juanmiguelreyes8502 not justified it as I hate cheaters, but if someone is drunk as hell I can see that as a mistake or if the person is young with little experience in life. One thing is if they come telling you right away and bagging for forgiveness with the possibility that you would never had known then I think maybe they can be forgiven, but only by the person whose hurt and if they want to, I most likely never would forgive. In this case OP needs to leave his wife.

[@juanmiguelreyes8502]

@@zerobolt9506 I have been drunk several times, I know exactly what happens, it's a completely BS reason, also, being young and inexperienced isn't a valid reason why someone would cheat.

[@nicholaswilley9001]

@@zerobolt9506 : Cheaters should NEVER be given a second chance.

[@STB-jh7od]

Title story-She's writing the journal in order to justify her next affair.

[@zerobolt9506]

Most likely

[@thechosenone9769]

Sometimes people just want to vent and work through things without hurting someone and without feeling like they need to rein it in. Holding things in isn't good.

[@brennabreska3673]

@@thechosenone9769 Leaving out journals with hurtful things writen in them about your S/O. How is that helping work through things?

[@thechosenone9769]

@@brennabreska3673 she doesn't want to leave out the journal. The post was about her wanting a private journal that he doesn't have access to. She wants his blessing, he isn't ok with it.

[@NicholasBart]

@@thechosenone9769 I think the post was talking about her previous journals. You know, the ones she wrote hurtful stuff in and then intentionally left out for him to read. The ones she never said were private and that she all but told him to read through her actions. The ones she had before he found out about the affair. Those journals. Not to mention, he never said she couldn't keep a journal, he just refused to like it. At this point, she's just plain toxic. She clearly doesn't care about him and is most likely only staying because of their kids.

[@songohan3321]

Story 4. Play stupid games and win stupid prizes. If it wasn't so important, why did they get so mad, Hmmmmmmmmm? Also, it is normal for kids to imitate this they see on KZbin. Seen it way to many times. One of the reasons I am glad I don't work in IT for a k12 school district anymore.

[@CMND.r_Zed]

Second Story: This dude really wasted all these years on a girl who hated her relationship like my guy....

[@gingermaniac5484]

Abuse in childhood grooms you to tolerate abuse in adulthood, makes you believe even subconsciously-that You deserve it, that You are the problem and You need to be more tolerant. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was abused as a child and is now being gaslit by (maybe even we’ll meaning) friends and (chosen) family. He’s also a man to put it bluntly, men don’t get enough support or sympathy about getting abused and trapped as it is. God I want to give this poor man a hug..

[@fatcatlol_4820]

Wife emotionally abuses husband who is trapped because of his children, there fixed your title

[@Bleg94]

yep

[@fandomfan2800]

Nope wrong

[@afatcatfromsweden]

Title story: that journal is just a way to indirectly abuse op emotionally. I feel so bad for him.

[@deadseven3474]

Yea I agree, but I also kinda feel like after putting up with that passive aggressive nonsense for a long while AND finding out he's being cheated on, he would have just left. I understand that's hard for some people, but the writing was on the damn wall.

[@boundtogoboogie]

Don't feel bad for him. He's just as bad because instead of addressing issues he let her suck him into this sick cycle of mutually bad behavior.

[@robertbishop5158]

I think he needs that extra push to Get away from her.

[@cameostark7274]

first story: Start saving money. Make plans as far in advance as possible to get out and safe at 18. Id also make a power point for the day I leave saying my final I love you and good bye forever to my father brother and sister. Might keep in contact with mom.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 4: NTA. Sister shut that door and has no right to pissed that OP locked it. Never seeing people like that again will never be anything but a blessing.

[@CarlottaHall]

Story 1, NTA dad sure has trained his son well. This is a sick and dysfunctional home and that is verbal sexual abuse. The sister has figured out how to be favored by dad quickly and is probably rewarded by staying out of dads hurt radar and getting what she wants. Mom is probably being bullied also because she isn't standing up to dad but trying to make it up to OP by not enforcing the punishment when dad isn't there. This family needs help. OP needs to get out as soon as she can.

[@MrJpaynebb]

What a toxic family. Everyone, including your mom are assh#$e. Still time for your brother to change his ways and sister also but for your parents, nope. Your mother has and still is your dad's #1 enabler. Your sister needs to wise up because she tolerates this from her dad, what kind of man does she think she'll attract? She's being groomed for an abusive relationship and doesn't even realize it. She just thinks she's playing "nice" to stay on dad's good side. Your brother isn't going to attract a good quality woman with his behavior as he grows older. Stay as low contact as possible until you hit 18 yr old while making a plan to move. These toxic people need to be left behind in the 1950's where they belong.

[@chewiejew3788]

Title story: the wife is awful and OP needs to get out asap.

[@Jane-yg3vz]

For the cheating , yes, but not for the journals. She's allowed to have her own private thoughts. He's just pissed because she wrote down what she was thinking onto paper and he read it. If she hadn't written it down, he wouldn't know what was going on in her head. He should be basing his feelings about her on how she treats him and what she says to him, not by what goes on in her head. We all have shitty thoughts about others we care about. Most of us just don't write it down so the other person can read it. The cheating thing would be a dealbreaker for me though; no need for therapy.

[@chewiejew3788]

@@Jane-yg3vz if they have to have passive agressive journals to write toxic shit about their S.O., then something tells me that the marriage isn't that great. If they can't talk to their S.O. like an adult, they probably don't need to be married with children.

[@johnnygonzales428]

Title story you pathetic leave her or at least have an affair of your own

[@johnnygonzales428]

@Mia Smith yes absolutely holy crap seriously you want to be an example for your kids of how to act and how to be treated. He’s just sad ‘I need to stay for the kids’ please he’s not doing the kids any favors. He needs to grow a pair get out, the kids would be a lot happier if he was. Hell even having an affair of his own would be better than the simp he is now. It’s just sad

[@itzkamof1235]

@@chewiejew3788 what's wrong with having a journal? There are meant to be a person safe space and op has clearly violated that. Op is the AH.

[@DuckTapeWarrior1]

Why is op still with his wife in story 2? If the wife writes a journal just to write bad things about her husband then they should separate. If she wanted him to read it then I guess he’s fine but if not then ETA.

[@nekowerewolf9769]

Eta = edit to add

[@jazz-cat00]

@@nekowerewolf9769 oh my god thank you, ive always wondered what that meant!

[@fcold9402]

If your brother is uncomfortable because of what your wearing we know who the real slt is. Hopefully you never make him food.

[@catandrobbyflores]

First story the mom is as much at fault here as the father because she allowed this behavior long enough for the son to learn it

[@Russman67]

Story 4: NTA. Nephew played a stupid game and win a stupid prize. All said I wouldn't have them over for a while because he's going to break the new one.

[@paden1865able]

One way to make sure it doesn't happen again, never allow them in the home ever again. Go no contact, simple.

[@GinGin12]

Story 4- OP’s sister and her son are the AH. OP did the right thing... OP NTA.

[@darthlukeskywalker]

For story 4 I wouldn't have done anything differently

[@LordSeal7]

YOU CANT HIDE

[@darthlukeskywalker]

@@LordSeal7 hide from what

[@nerdy_evy]

I don't understand why people are so focused on the fact that he read her diary and not on the contents of what the diary says. If I came across a diary and it said that the person had murdered somebody, it would be stupid for people to get angry at me at the fact that I read the diary even though I came across important information that can change people's point of views

[@LinneAzalea]

Also that wasn’t the point. Like she clearly wanted him to read them, and used them as an immature and passive aggressive way to communicate with him. The whole AITA issue was about him not saying it was ok for her to write toxic and nasty things about him. The wife is toxic and abusive, and he should leave her

[@oliwiaprywatnie2306]

if she wasn't so passive agressive with the journal reading it would be 100% asshole move, if it's private it's private, in the past I would write poems to deal with emotions and sometimes I wouldn't like my so to read them bc they were created in heat of emotion, to deal with emotions. People don't read other's diaries to help solve murders, people read them bc they are curious and that's not acceptable.

[@nerdy_evy]

@@LinneAzalea yeah, it sucked people were judging him about reading it and not on what he asked.

[@nerdy_evy]

@@oliwiaprywatnie2306 I just did the murder idea to try to point out how people were upset at him reading the diary and not what he found in set diary. What she wrote wasn't right. Yes I don't go snooping and he wasn't either. If it's private then you close it and put it away but he said that she purposely used it to tell him things when they're arguing like what she was upset about or to insult him. She put it on surfaces he uses day to day like his dresser and such. She's aware he's reading them. She's purposely leaving them out

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 4: OP is NTA. Her nephew needs to learn that actions have consequences and that HE was the one who ruined his Christmas by destroying his cousin's gaming system. OP is right to avoid contact with her sister and her entitled nephew. They will never learn. OP needs to protect her own son and let him know that he's her priority and that he should also stand up for his rights against entitled Karens and their crotch goblins.

[@baddieb6091]

He's 13 and did something a 2 year old would do. He knew what he was doing. Kids of entitled parents usually act younger in a bad way.

[@jazz-cat00]

The last story is an obvious NTA but imagine the absolute wave of relief that kid felt when he saw his prized possession get destroys before his very eyes only for his dad to just walk right in about a minute later with another brand new one out of thin air

[@86londongirl]

His dad is a hero for doing that, and for teaching that ‘Henry Bowers’ of a nephew a lesson at the same time!

[@paden1865able]

I'd buy the nephew an age appropriate Christmas gift in the form of a pacifier because only a big, spoiled baby would destroy something out of spite and envy. Maybe some diapers, too.

[@86londongirl]

@@paden1865able 😂😂😂

[@tsunderemonarch4703]

Story 3: YTA but I want to bring this up since I haven't seen it anywhere yet. OP himself is a prime example of cheating being normalised. With his "everyone fucks up!" comment and then writing later how his father cheated on his mom multiple times. He's so nonchalant about it. Understandably so, but it really seems like that's how things are with him and why he doesn't have a problem with taking his children to his mother's. I might be wrong but that's how it seems to me.

[@dillongage]

The Wife was perfectly fine bringing the kids to see OPs parents when OPs dad was the only cheater. Why was that okay? Sexism?

[@chasethespongeking395]

Story 1 is an NTA some people would say not to make a fuss so they can get out but that’s both toxic and a weakass excuse and is just telling the OP to take it lying down and do nothing. She should call out misogyny and continue to stand up to it

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 2. Leave her. She's absolutely toxic and a terrible person. if it's really a private journal you don't just leave it open in areas where you know your spouse is going to be unless you're intentionally trying to get them to read it. The way he described it honestly was trying to keep it out for him to read so she could insult him without saying it directly to his face. She's an awful human being and he shouldn't deserve that. His kids shouldn't deserve that because it's going to start showing that you're not acting the same around her and they are going to notice. NTA

[@stevecarey2030]

He won't leave. He said so in the post. He's pathetic and the wife despises him for it. She writes those things for him to read just hoping he grows a pair but he never does and never will so she hates him even more. But with two autistic kids I guess she figures she's stuck with him. I don't like her at all but I kind of feel bad that she's stuck with that guy.

[@runawayfromtoads674]

​@@stevecarey2030 I mostly feel bad for nobody but the kids. I empathize with the guy for personal reasons. I don't feel bad for the wife being stuck with that guy though; if she can find it in her to have an affair, she should have it in her to at least file for a divorce. The guy could be spineless, sure, but why write all those toxic things to read and lay it all over the house? It's passive aggressive and indeed triggering the more you encounter these in the future. She doesn't write these because she wants him to grow a pair. She writes it because she's probably wants to go no filter under the guise of being it less venomous because she didn't scream at him. Honestly, they're better off divorcing which won't happen any time soon.

[@stevecarey2030]

@Mia Smith Definitely. But in his post he just dismissed the possibility of divorce out of hand. So he's in a toxic situation but won't get out of it. So while those two deserve each other the kids don't. Unfortunately seems they are stuck in that environment. Sucks for them.

[@stevecarey2030]

@@runawayfromtoads674 Yeah, probably she doesn't want a screaming match where the kids will hear it. When I say I feel bad for her, it's not for her. She's a horrible person. I feel bad for anyone that would feel trapped in a marriage with such a pathetic doormat. The contempt she must feel for him has to be off the charts every time he reads it and does nothing.

[@Ospyro3em]

Final story- Mark: "and our FIRST story comes from....".... go home, Mark- you're drunk! 😂 Seriously though- he smashes a games console and laughs about it, his own mum laughs it off, then they're shocked the don't get one of their own? Then the family takes THEIR side? What is it with friends and families in these stories taking sides with the perpetrators?

[@MarkNarrations]

lol! My excuse was it was 6am :)

[@Hirouka1]

Story two why are these two still married. She clearly doesn't respect him and I bet he doesn't either. She had a long affair and has been in her best behavior. This sh.. sounds like a father disciplining a child. 14 years of venom to spew trust me it's been there since the beginning. We only have his side but she isnt any better if this story is to be believed.

[@reptilelover2129]

2: ESH. Would you rather her hold the venom in? I wrote in my journal and sometimes exaggerated just to get my feelings out. When someone read my private journal I stopped writing and keep all of it in. The wife is toxic and horrible because not the affair and her passive aggressiveness.

[@camdanebbett-urquhart9443]

Story 2 nta my advice divorce he can still be there for his kids without putting himself through hell

[@fate_clotho9596]

Exactly! I hate it when people say they can't divorce because they have kids. That's such a bull shit answer! Why? Because if the parents are in an awful marriage, they're going to be awful parents and/or the kids are going to be absolutely miserable! Yes, divorce can be tough on kids, but kids are very resilient and being divorced, happy and healthily co-parenting is SO much better for children than being the children of parents who are staying miserable in an awful marriage, resenting each other and potentially letting that trickle down to the kids! It angers me just thinking about it, the parents who "stick it out" either for the kids or because their religion doesn't believe in divorce. My divorce was the best thing to happen to my marriage!😂

[@mkuti-childress3625]

I don’t really think many people try to stick it out for their kids, anymore. But if you’re going to try your damndest to work something out and do everything you can before deciding to divorce, it will be when you have two nonverbal autistic kids. Autistic kids are _not_ resilient in the same way regular kids are, and changing their routine will almost certainly cause greater behavioral problems and emotional pain, partly because they don’t have the same understanding or outlet as the average kid does. I think the OP is right to try absolutely everything possible to help improve the marriage before just deciding to end it.

[@ACBIGBOIEVDT]

Story 1: I mean if someone said that to me I'm pretty sure he'll like his new Haircut

[@somechupacabrawithinternet8866]

if anyone said that to me, the cops won't find the bodies in the morning

[@lovingmusichere]

This might not be the right course of action, and the son learned those things from his dad, but I would've started SWINGING after that first sentence. Knock some sense into him before another girl does.

[@JasperCatProductions]

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who hates me in private. I mean come on life is hard enough without the person who you share life with hating your guts.

[@thatwitchychick2717]

Story 2: I find it hard to believe that the wife was using the journal just to "spew the venom" as she said. I could understand if wrote down those thought and like burned them as a symbolic way to let go of them, but she keeps them and leaves them out where OP will find them? No. She's using her journal to abuse him if she banks on him finding and reading it. She's also terrible for cheating. Why would you stay with someone if you have such an issue with them that you document it all and cheat? So terrible.

[@emmalacina7391]

Story 3: Anyone else think HE might be desensitized from cheating? If he grew up with his dad cheating on his mom and nothing being done about it he might not be too affected by it

[@blueredbox4529]

Story 3. So what’s he to do? Never let their kids see either grandparents? Thats wrong especially since they won’t understand why.

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

It says in the story that she didn't ever tell him not to read them. (Which duh? You shouldn't have to tell someone not to read a journal.) That's a VERY different idea than what's in the edit. I do believe the smashing the console story because: My stepson once purposely smashed his phone on cement steps in front of our youngest daughter because my oldest daughter's father had just upgraded hers & he wanted a new one too even though he got a "new" phone every year (he was about 4 months away from getting his) & she only got hers replaced every 2 years. His mom did buy him another phone. It wasn't the exact phone he wanted but he still did get a newer phone than he had (his mom used Straight Talk so they were in cash purchases). My oldest daughter did get "better" (in my stepson's opinion) phones from her executive dad's Verizon plan but, if she had broken her phone even accidentally in between upgrades, she'd either have had to use the old flip her dad kept for that reason (in case someone's phone broke) or she'd have had to pay to repair it herself through chores. There is just no way she would have gotten away with doing what my stepson did even though her dad could have easily replaced it.

[@Dory785]

Dang that poor guy idk how he can still want to stay with his wife and love her knowing she spews “venom” about him. I get that sometimes you need to vent about your partner and the annoying things they do like snore, not wash their dishes, ect. But to say that he’s the root of all their marital problems and that she wants to leave him... and also not care that he sees that she thinks that. Thats on a whole different level. And on top of everything she cheated on him. Sounds to me like she doesn’t want to be in that relationship but wants him to make the first move. NTA even if he did read her journal.

[@phantomfandomfails3013]

Story 3 I think op normalized it because as he said his Dad has been cheating on his mom for awhile now and the one times his mom does it, its not a big deal for him because he grew up thinking this was normal. I feel kinda bad for the guy.

[@DayumSonny]

Title story: He should've divorced her and walked away. But some men just refuse to respect themselves after being cheated on FOR THREE YEARS. No sp!ne or self-respect whatsoever. NTA but absolutely the ultimate d00rmat. The key sign is when they say "I still love her" after being disrespected repeatedly.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

Last OP... can only say when I was 13, I knew better than to wreck and ruin other people's belongings! If her nephew has no idea of cost and no regard for his cousin's toys, screw him. Especially since her sister said 'no' to replacing it, no one deserves a new one except OP's son. The rest of the family can chip in and buy the teen xmas presents.

[@Acidfunkish]

Story #2: The woman wants a PRIVATE journal. She wants a place where she can just vent. Maybe that's how she copes, and she's able to release all of her resentments and guilt onto the page, and move on. It's not up to you to decide how anyone else decides to cope. ESH, but for different reasons. Story #3: "Everyone makes mistakes," in reference to cheating, doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence in a wife who hears that from her husband. Yikes. Story #4: Nope. You're totally in the right.

[@eryseayliid1535]

About reading the wife's journals: even if my partner handed me their journal to read, I would refuse, and tell them that if they want to share a thought they have, they should tell me to face, or write me a letter in worst case scenario. I would under no circumstances even attempt to read the written thoughts of another person, unless it was for/as a work of art. I just think it is inappropriate. But maybe that's just me.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Story 2: There's a lot more going on in this marriage than her cheating that is just a symptom in this case. They both need to see a therapist to find out what's really going on, these two people don't love each, other they hate each other.

[@Takeoverartist1987]

saying this guy shouldnt read her journal that talks shit about him is like saying " omg i cant believe you went through my phone and caught me cheating"

[@scousemouse9566]

🧇🧇🧇🧇AITA for swearing and kicking my 8 year old washing machine for breaking down mid wash. Needed this today, great video, thank you Mark

[@nathan8219]

Yeah, here in Canada we get ready for Christmas before Halloween sometimes.

[@hotjanuary]

Super annoying, right? We had Christmas decorations in the seasonal isle at the end of SEPTEMBER!

[@nathan8219]

@@hotjanuary and we had our first snow on like, the 9th of October?

[@hotjanuary]

@@nathan8219 As far as I’m concerned, random October snow is just part of life in Canada (as is May snow), but early snow does not mean we should be pushing Christmas decorations sales earlier. Like give me a break, let me enjoy the remainder of the little fall we have left.

[@nathan8219]

@@hotjanuary Totally agree not to push the sales, but i was hoping to not get snow till at least the 28th.

[@hotjanuary]

@@nathan8219 Can’t control the weather, so I’m not upset about that. However, humans, on the other hand, are the ones consciously choosing to put up reminders that icicles, short days, icy roads, and icy sidewalks are almost upon us.

[@shikuthetempest]

In the story he says his wife never explicitly said he couldn't read them, then in the edit he claims that she encouraged him TO read them. These are two very different sentiments and I just can't trust that she was legit okay with him reading her journal.

[@ceripol]

Story 3: so “we go every other year to visit my serial cheater father & faithful mother for thanksgiving but now that mother cheated once it’s suddenly immoral?” Way to have double standards. Edit - OP does have no moral compass if he thinks cheating is a normal f-up but that’s due to his Dad not Mum.

[@dillongage]

THANK YOU! Why is no one else seeing that? It was okay to visit when OPs dad cheated but its morally wrong now that the Mom cheated? Seems super fishy to me. Honestly seems like wife doesnt want OP to learn the warning signs of a cheating woman.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

It is a massive red flag that he reads her PRIVATE journals. He is controlling, and likely to become abusive in other ways. I hope she can escape from him.

[@sarikachahal6188]

Story 2: ESH. Sorry, you should never ever ever ever ever ever ...(100 ever later) ever ever ever ever read someone's diary. Violation of that person's privacy full stop. But passive-aggressive is NEVER the way to communicate your issues. Bad communication.

[@sebastianjoseph9628]

Story 3: NTA, people really need to read the story again. The wife, instead of talking to him about their marital problems, she writes in a journal and LEAVES it out for him. Edit: I accidentally put in 2 times.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

To me, a journal is a form for someone to write their private thoughts. The wife in story 2 seems to be unhappy with her marriage to OP. How would she feel if he wrote a journal and stated his unhappiness with his wife. I doubt that she would appreciate it. A relationship must include verbalizing how you feel about your partner. If you're not happy with something, then tell him/her. Don't hide it in a journal. Communication is key in all relationships. The fact that she cheated isn't very good either. I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship anymore. I do know that trust is something that needs to be earned between a couple. If you don't trust me, then why are we together?

[@jodieg6318]

Story 3: my opinion on someone cheating when it's not my relationship: it's not my freaking business.

[@jackson8753]

Story 4: I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING KARMA IS A B****

[@ian7064]

Story 3: YTA. What the hell dude? Both your parents sound like bad ppl and the way you dismissed your wife isn't encouraging. If I were your wife, I'd be questioning your loyalty to the marriage given your apparent cavalier attitude about infidelity

[@ajb7530]

1st story, OP your father and brother need a reality check because your brother isn't going to impress any women with the way he behaves. Your father needs to seriously change his ways be your mom leaves him. 3rd Story, OP I need to say BRAVO to you sir. Your a fantastic father. I would have done the exact same thing you did. Your sister and nephew are the AH. Great of you for teaching your nephew a lesson. OP NTA

[@Badartist888]

Last story. Same thing I say in so many of these situations.... make sure you call people to tell them about it first. Because a shitty person will spin their story around toot sweet and everyone will hate you. It is far easier to convince people of something than convince them that the opposite is true later. Oh and that kid has a coin toss of learning an important lesson. It still surprises me that I have friends who say they didn't understand that damaging a car or the like was as bad as it is until they got a car. The immediate loss of the thing will hit him with a level of empathy at an age that might just be the making of him. Or he will listen to his mother and become worse.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

Story 3: NTA, an agreement is an agreement. You can not deprive someone of their right to see their family because you decide its not good for them. Wife needs to suck it up and stay out of their relationship. As much as I hate cheaters, their relationship is their relationship and she has 0 right to pretend to be Mother Teresa with an absolute moral compass and deprive the OP and her own children the right to see their family on the holidays. I bet she wouldn't miss her year to see her own family for the holidays

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Exactly. If OP isn't "allowed" to take the kids to his mother's house this year (not that he needs her permission), she isn't allowed to take the kids to see her family next year. Mothers do not have primary ownership of their children. Fathers matter, too.

[@emokid732]

@@MaryTheresa1986 it's sus..seems like he comes from bad stock..his whole family are morally bankrupt why should she expect him to be better, the apple dosent fall far from the tree, it's a shame she didn't find out about this before breeding with him, now she's stuck

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@emokid732 thats stupid. Many good people come from bad backgrounds. The problem is she seems to think she has the right to control OP and that she has absolute control over the children.

[@emokid732]

@@TheZombifiedFairy and a lot of bad people come from bad backgrounds some would argue, even more so, being an exception to the, dosent change the rule..bad people make bad people ..him being alone with the children will make them just like him...the fact he see's nothing wrong with any of his parent behavior is telling.

[@TheZombifiedFairy]

@@emokid732 um... no. Spending time with a parent for a holiday isn't going to suddenly corrupt a child. Its insane that you are saying "if he's alone with them they'll be like him"... its 1 day, not the rest of their life. And regardless of how you, or the wife, feels, the kids have a right to spend time with both sides of their families, not just her's.

[@aaronandelise]

She cheated = you leave. Stop trying to make this equation hard, it's quite simple.

[@Jennie-hi2ti]

Story two: I think she is trying to get him to divorce her. Saying such things about your husband in her journals I guess is fine, but leaving it out for him because you know he will read it is someone who wants to hurt the person deeply. Plus she had an affair for 2 years, and he still worked through it. She really does not care for him. She probably feels pressure to stay in the relationship and wants him to end it because she is scared to do it herself. It shows with how she is passive aggressive through her journals, no way she will say it to his face.

[@scarysara9364]

'Nightmare Before Christmas.' Awesome!

[@clrtwallace0116]

Re: going to the mom’s after she cheated Why are you going ANYWHERE during a pandemic? Stay home and keep your family safe.

[@mbyerly9680]

With the dad and son's creepy obsession with her body, I'd suggest OP get a good lock on her door and use it. One of the first things sexual abusers do is label a woman a sl*t and other nasty terms then use that as an excuse to abuse or r*pe her because "she deserves it." If she has a trusted teacher, she needs to talk to her so CPS is called. If nothing else, she'll have a legal paper trail before they do something. If there is anyone in her extended family who could help her, she needs to call and talk to them about her dad and brother's abuse and her fear.

[@ajwinberg]

Story 2: OP mentioned in the original post that he was allowed to read the journal. He needs to leave that relationship.

[@WyndeRiter]

Re: the journal. I have several journals, most of them are for writing, but I also have a bullet journal (which includes random daily thoughts) and a venom journal. I'm also easily distracted so these journals (including the venom journal) end up everywhere around the house. I've spoken with my boyfriend about the venom journal, clearly labeled it as a hands off/for my eyes only type of thing and while the majority is related to trauma I've had in the past that I'm still coming to terms with, sometimes I'll vent about him in there as well. It's also the *only* journal I have that's black. My boyfriend understands my need to spew out the venom (he's spoken with my parents over the phone and has seen how they treat me, even as an adult. At present, my mom has died and I've gone NC with my dad). I've told him that any other journal he reads that hurts his feelings, that's on me and something for us to sort through. However, since the venom journal is clearly one I write in during times of deep pain or anger and it's clearly labeled as well as being the only black one, his reading it would be on him. He knows this, doesn't read it. He's even found it open and closes it (like he does with all of my journals except the bujo). I don't know if the wife of the story was leaving the journals out "on purpose" maybe she was, maybe she wasn't...but there's clearly some communication issues there as to how she felt about him reading her journal in the first place. Leaving it open sometimes and then having a problem with him reading stuff later is on her. It's her responsibility to talk to him about what is and is not ok for him to read as it relates to her journals. It's clearly something she feels she needs to do to get all the thoughts out of her head and to expect someone not to read what you've left out is unrealistic unless you've set clear boundaries ahead of time. Which she didn't and that's why she's looking for his approval on the private journal. She doesn't need his approval, but since his feelings are messed up due to *her* actions in the past regarding both the cheating and the journals themselves, he doesn't have to give it either. NTA.

[@noneyabusiness9867]

About the nephew's Christmas gift, I start my Christmas shopping on new years eve. Every single year. I already have half of my Christmas gifts picked out for next year already (Christmas 2021).

[@Patrick__M]

S4- action taken. NTA. However, I would have taken the one that was thrown down the stairs and wrapped it up and gave that to him. Then say something along the lines of “I’m sorry you didn’t like your gift but you should just state that you don’t want it rather then destroying it.” Then when he starts to cry let him know that maybe his mother could find someone who could repair it.

[@rationalsamrat3247]

Title story ,she cheated ! Probably not the first time .her insulting OP and degrading him is gaslighting so that she can escape all the responsibilities of cheating. It's simple if she doesn't make him the bad guy ,then she will be the bad guy.

[@BrownAutumnSeal]

With the Christmas thing my mum likes to start preparing all year, if she sees something shell get it and save it also with the global issue shipping takes ages so it makes sense to get it while you can

[@zarennaangel1198]

My nephew destroyed my son's Nintendo 3ds that I saved money to buy him and it was my stepsister complained about it and said it's just a toy and refused to buy another to replace it. My father actually did right by his grandson and replaced it with a new Nintendo Switch lite. I have cut all ties with my stepsister and son.

[@axepagode33626]

Story One: I suspect that this is an unpopular opinion, but NAH. Some brother's and sisters argue, fight, belittle each other. I am actually glade that you can hold tour own and didn't roll up into a little crying fur ball. You gave your brother both barrels and he deserved it. Don't be anybody's victim. If he goes low, kick him by going even lower. If he can't take it tell him to stop dishing it out.

[@sageseeker9197]

First Story: Ew, what a disgusting man. Second Story: I keep journals, and I would be pissed if I put my feelings- especially negative things- about the person reading them, then it's just violating because I wrote those things in anger and I don't mean them. It's a form of venting. An affair though? Yeah, she secretly hates him.

[@theboneman7379]

Number 4: NTA the sister obviously doesn't teach her child a thing, if anything it sounds like she endorses the behavior, and its pretty obvious the nephew was jealous of the son having a gaming system otherwise he wouldn't be crying afterwards. If anything OP just taught the nephew a lesson in life "if your not going to respect others nice things then you don't deserve nice things". more then the mother will ever do.

[@KaliTheMuu]

Story 4: I'd punt the little bastard down the stairwell like he did the console lmao

[@captainrex1718]

For the second story, Op is NTA because at this point she's leaving the journals out on purpose so he can see and hurt him. She knows he won’t divorce because of their kids and most of the time through a divorce proceeding the kids and most of the couple assets will go to her.

[@Sweetpea-river]

Title story it's her journal she can write what she wants. I would be more worried about the cheating

[@MsTemptation]

Story 1: ESH. You for staying and her for being passive-aggressive behavior.

[@LinneAzalea]

Title story: NTA. the wife sounds really toxic. Like the way she acts with the journals is obviously on purpose. And now she wants to be allowed to write nasty things about him?

[@Nyanx4]

0:07 That waffle has fabulous timing. Couldn't have appeared on a better word, imho! Hope everyone in and outside of the waffle gang is doing well!

[@zerobolt9506]

Story 2 I got just one thing to and one thing only 'clears throat' OP RUN NOW RUN! But seriously you need to get out of that toxic marriage now, it's only ever gonna get worse. I hate cheaters and 90% don't think they ever deserved a second chance, however I've learned from stories on here that sometimes it really was a mistake and the person can, not have to be but can be forgotten. I'm not sure if I'll ever forgive someone who would cheat on me and while I commend you for it you need to find someone better for yourself, your cheating hope to be soon ex of a wife does not deserve YOU. Go find someone who will make you happy and let your wife see what she lost, your love.

[@theuntrying4113]

I just wanna say I love your videos you seem like such a sweet person 🥺

[@RoyalRoses]

Definitely think NTA. Exactly what that person said, she knew he would read them and has used them as a weapon and a way to be nasty and abusive towards him. Genuinely feel bad for the guy... imagine loving someone who despises you.

[@finalfantasylord1]

story 1: NTA that is incredibly disgusting how they treat you and your mother should look about separation from him as once you leave they certainly arn't going to treat her right either story 2: NTA she kept leaving those out for you to read and doesn't discourage you from reading them and its clear she wants you to agree with what's written to make it feel like your the problem story 3: ESH your mom and dad are both cheaters two wrongs don't make a right and quite frankly you need to just have dinner with just the family with no parents and apologize to your wife story 4: NTA he broke your kid's system and your sister wont pay to replace it her kid needs to respect other people's belongings and that shows why "responsibility" and any family siding with them needs the whole story because they'll change their tune real quick

[@alicewilloughby4318]

14:28 - So maybe they should have Thanksgiving with the other guy's wife?

[@VHEmpress]

Story with journal guy: Wife wants him to read them possibly, but husband doesn't like what she says in journals. Right or wrong no one has asked husband what wife wrote in the journals and cheating is never ok. I wonder what wife wrote in the journals and if what she wrote was true and husband doesn't like hearing the truth. Still wife needs to talk to husband face to face and husband should stay out of the journals if his feelings are hurt. No excuses for affairs!!!

[@J_e_s_s]

4th one NTA...oh man. That nephew is such a brat and so is the sister. I hope she keeps her word and keeps that little jerk away from OP and their son. Clearly the kid was jealous and was lashing out. 13 is old enough to know it's wrong even if it was actually a baby toy. You don't intentionally damage other people's property. I don't care if it's a $400 gaming system or a $5 pack of cards.

[@canadalovesanime3137]

Story 1: That is not sexist that is abusive. That "little brother" is going to mouth off to the wrong person. Then "daddy dearest" will be all torches and pitch forks, because his precious snowflake got what he had coming. OP and her mother need to get the heck out of there yesterday. NTA Story 2: Your feelings are valid, she's not the only one who has feelings. OP should start his own journal, I wonder how she'd feel about that, oh well "she can be OK with it" right? NTA Story 3: Don't make the kids suffer, they still love grandma. OP is not supporting the cheating. NTA Story 4: The sister and her kid ruined HIS xmas. The sister is the bad parent. No one else is responsible. OP did what was right, spoiled brats don't get xmas presents.. NTA

[@tamsinmoore2111]

Dear Grand Waffler, (aka Mark) just wanted to let you know that we don't need your gratitude for listening to you daily. This is not a penance, it causes no suffering on our part, it's not a chore: you (at least for me) are a bright spot in my day. Your cool, calm tones and human experience are almost a form of therapy. The respect you have for the people in your stories and us your audience is easily apparent. How do we show our respect for you? (Unfortunately I can't afford Patreon) I do it by liking every video I can, I've started saying 'Much love guys' (not by design, it just happened!) I hope that's enough. Take care of you and try to recognise that you contribute back to us as well. Much love guy, Txx

[@macabrescafresca]

Maybe he should say "Everyone f up sometimes and I know that cheating is unforgivable but this is between them and I will not shun my own mother for this. Besides the only difference between her and dad is that she left him and I'm sure she's happier without this abusive, cheating jerk".

[@LilChuunosuke]

Story 2 / Title Story: I'm gonna go against the grain here and say YTA (or possibly ESH). Wrote this before even hearing the story and afterward, I still feel the same way. Everyone deserves some private place they can vent about their feelings. And even if she has her own personal therapist, there may be things she either doesn't want to share with the therapist or those feelings are too private or too fleeting for them to feel it necessary to talk to their therapist about. Your wife is entitled to have some privacy. Not having a journal to "spew venom" into won't make these thoughts of hers magically disappear. Hell, writing them down and reading them later might make her see how irrational some of them are! I grew up in an abusive home where my privacy didn't exist. I was the only person in the house who wasn't entitled to it. My own brother and mother would intentionally walk into my bedroom without knocking when they knew I was getting dressed. Just to beat it into my skull that they saw me as property with no right to my own personal space and privacy. When my mother would help me clean my room growing up, she would look through every page of every notebook, sketchbook, and diary. Even the empty ones. Just to make sure I had no thoughts private from her. I was forced to bottle up all my feelings because there was nowhere I could let them out. I eventually moved out and into another toxic home environment, though it wasn't as clear to me at the time because it was still a substantial upgrade from my abusive family. I tried starting a diary and would draw out my thoughts because writing them would be triggering and make me scared. The father who owned the home flipped through my diary. He saw a diary entry where I vented about my struggles with insomnia and twisted it around, yelling at me and threatening to kick me out for "demonizing" him in my private diary (there was a drawing of him getting frustrated with me sleeping all day directly connected to a drawing where I was crying in my bed because I couldn't fall asleep). Saying that if that's how I really saw him, I can find somewhere else to live. I eventually turned to an online support group to let these emotions out. Because bottling them up, having nowhere to let them out without being punished for it, was so damaging. Even being able to look back on my posts in the support group and see my thoughts while I was in a clearer mindset helped me so much. Everyone, from the kindest and most damaged souls to the biggest douchebags should be entitled to their own privacy. That includes a place where they can vent out their thoughts and feelings without being punished for it in some way.

[@janicewilcox8590]

"We're never coming over here again." - Hah! Ok! Sounds good! Bye bish!

[@GrammarMale]

I feel like the dad in the first story looks like that Chad from the Chad/Yes meme. I can’t stop laughing.

[@karend1577]

I like the last story. OP's sister & his nephew are TA. OP got both kids the expensive game system. Nephew purposely damaged his cousin's game. I would have done the Exact thing as OP. I would have taken nephew's game and given it to my child. Nephew and his mother refused to pay back for the game he purposely destroyed.

[@jackson8753]

Story 3: I have an idea, how about you have thanksgiving with just your family and stop the spread of a life threatening disease

[@catte.]

Story 4: Oh man, play stupid games and win stupid prizes has never been quite so literal NTA