AITA For Making My Boyfriend Homeless

[@mangoshateu361]

Story one: Did no one mention that the roommates didn’t want him back? Do he really have an issue with the apartment or did the roommates have an issue with him?

[@immortalsofar5314]

Yeah, I'm not the tidiest of people but the one time I had a flatmate was a nightmare best summed up as "he ate the curries and I brought the toilet cleaner." Plus, when my GF's parents came to visit, I'd blitz the entire place well in advance just so that she didn't have to worry about it.

[@pippo17173]

That should of been a instant break up right there. When other people flat out tell you they don't want him back, I start questioning and just throw him out when not being honest about it.

[@wmdkitty]

@Kali Shaffer I almost married a guy like this, and he makes slobs look neat and tidy!

[@carolroberts4614]

He probably caused the damp at his previous place, or they faked it to get rid of him!Otherwise, why won't they have him back!?

[@minsungseungmin]

I thought the same thing. How can their friends be defending him? Do they know that even his old roommates don't want him back. That's a HUGE indicator of how awful he is to live with.

[@clairebear-96]

She “hired a cleaner so silently” after asking him for days to clean and he keeps putting it off? Girl nta it’s ur/your parents’ apartment, get him out of there

[@ashh4929]

Right?! And how do you "malevolently" hire a cleaner? 🤦😂 if your nasty ass can't hit the toilet and get muddy foot prints on the damn bed, hiring a cleaner would be the *least* malevolent thing I would be doing. That's just nasty.

[@clairebear-96]

@@ashh4929 Lmfao right? she handled it a lot better/more quietly than I would have 😂

[@ashh4929]

@@clairebear-96 For real!! 😂

[@robertx8020]

I wonder why his former roommates don't want him back :P But he's in luck as with all those ppl siding with him, I'm sure they will be fighting over who can take him in, right? ;)

[@ilbercgross4736]

Muddy boot tracks through the apartment and on the bed. Umm... she should have kicked his arse out for that alone. I am wondering if the damp was structural or from him.

[@cutietae247]

1 NTA : clearly he is an Issue because his own housemates don't want him. Don't allow someone to use you and ignore your boundaries. He is lazy and inconsiderate . He is the abusive one. He thought your relationship was a security that would keep you from actually putting your foot down and cutting him off.

[@pippo17173]

honestly she should of break up with him the moment she got notice that his own friends told her to *Keep that asshole away from us.* Like if I was housing someone and then I get this when I ask why they couldn't take them, I be kicking them out in a instant.

[@YOYOKE64]

Absolutely stumped why flatmates don't want him back . 😀😀

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA He moved in and completely trashed the place and did $2000 worth of damage in 4 months. She was being super nice and she tried FOR MONTHS to get him to help. No wonder his flatmates don't want him back. I've lived in my place for 8 years and haven't done that much damage.

[@tegantalks9612]

My dad is a landlord and I’ve seen tenants cause $10k worth of damage to a property due to negligence and general assholery. It sucks so much having to be the person who goes in and cleans up after it. I put 3 months worth of work on top of working full time to fix the one townhouse one of his tenants destroyed. I wouldn’t let a person like that live with me and I would be reconsidering the relationship.

[@WatsonAndDaughter]

Story #1: Take pictures and show your friends. If it's as bad as you say it is, it's bad. NTA.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

Great idea. They can take him in if they still think it’s not a big deal.

[@claytonmorgan1843]

First story: It wouldn't have taken me four months to kick out the boyfriend. NTA OP.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. He was having problems with damp at his previous place? Gee, I wonder why!?

[@DespairDoctor]

My father was in a wheelchair for much of his adult life. When his sister married for the most recent time, he was in the wedding photos, that sister is horrible.

[@Ospyro3em]

Final Story- I'd like to see the excuse sister would have to other guests if OP and her husband DID go to the wedding but agree to not let him in the photos- "oh, yeah, he's not going to be in the photos as it would ruin them". Yeah, if the guests are decent people they'll instantly see the bridezilla's true colours right there.

[@immortalsofar5314]

Is she seriously jealous of a guy who has to put more effort into going to the lavatory than she has into anything for her entire life? If the most worthwhile thing you've ever done is blow ridiculous amounts of money on a party that no-one really enjoys anyway then she needs to realise that it's all fake. For one day, your friends pretend you're special but, unless you've actually achieved anything that's real, it's all just a consensual lie.

[@judyjohnson9610]

The thought occurred to me near the end of the story. Take your husband and wheel him right up there for pictures. Let the bridezilla explain to the guests why she is objecting

[@tegantalks9612]

@@judyjohnson9610 I mean they could do that but I wouldn’t want to put my husband in a position like that where he may be humiliated.

[@kmechwarrior1684]

I love that pettiness, make it know if you did go what kind of a person your sister and your family are...

[@carolroberts4614]

Judy Johnson, That would be so humiliating for him. Best to stay away and maintain a dignified silence.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 5: NTA What a disgusting Bridezilla. She is being incredibly ableist and OP is right to be upset.

[@amelianekomimi1936]

NTA makes me wonder what they say about him behind their backs..

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes they say op needs to apologise! For what,exactly? Not wanting her husband to be treated like an outsider, even though he has been part of the family for 8 years?

[@lillyvonshtup7314]

For the slob boyfriend... why do you think his roommates don’t want him back? It wouldn’t surprise me that he caused the “ dampness” problem

[@wmdkitty]

The "dampness" was probably his pee all over the floor of the loo.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 1- already NTA, but that edit sealed it for me. Kind of says something that his old flat mates "do not want him back under any circumstances" doesn't it.

[@carolroberts4614]

What on earth did he do? 2000 dollars damage, if you please!

[@kmechwarrior1684]

Makes you wonder how long they gave him to get out when he got lucky with the OP...

[@carolroberts4614]

I bet his feet didn't touch the ground!

[@lostshadows768]

Story 4 is ESH, except, maybe, the stepbrother. OP and mom for all the reasons stated in the comments, but stepfather is TA for creating a toxic environment where his son needs to lie just hang out with his friends for a hour.

[@pippo17173]

Ya I can't believe people ingore the dad being a fucking moron in this one. Like damn what the hell man, your son needs you and you didn't catch on that op and mom are awful. I hope he learns because this is what happens when you let people walk you over.

[@OutsideGalaxy]

One person can be a house spouse while the other works, even if they don't have kids. But I feel like in that case it's usually a situation where one spouse makes an absolute crap ton of money and the other one spends their time philanthropizing and organizing a social schedule so they can keep up with the Joneses. Ultimately, if it works for them that's great. But it's kind of a bizarre life goal.

[@brigidtheirish]

With my parents, well, they were only married eleven months before I was born. Before that, Mom didn't have a paying job because they were *planning* to have kids and it'd be simpler to already be at home when that happened. Besides, Mom's health was never that good and she *welcomed* not having to deal with people on a regular basis. Undiagnosed depression and social anxiety. *Fun.*

[@killdashade314]

Honestly I agree with Op, if you had a crap ton of money you probably would just hire someone to come in like twice a week to do laundry, pick up groceries, & clean up after two people (unless they're slobs that shouldn't be a lot). In the case of a SAHP most of their time goes towards taking care of a child which wouldn't be the case here.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Yeah, having that as a goal before even being is a relationship is basically saying, "I want to not work and hang around the house all day while my spouse busts his ass to pay for all the things I want" Like, she doesn't want to be married, she wants to be a trophy wife

[@spikesgirl9371]

My sister married her husband who is a physician and she was a bank teller. She quit her job, learned to gourmet cook, kept a spotless house and became magnificent gardener. She also works for a few charities. She runs circles around me and is very happy. Later she birthed and raised 3 great kiddos. It's all about what works for each family.

[@moebiusjdx7288]

A huge red flag for story one is that his previous room mates do not want him back under any circumstances. He was that gross.

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: I think it is very VERY telling that the bf's housemates don't want him back. I'm guessing his default is 'fucking slob'. OP asked him for weeks to clean up, it was obviously important to her for him to do. When something is important to your SO, it should be important to you. He didn't care. He's not a good partner. She wasn't even asking him to be super clean, just not a fucking slob. Dishes in the hallway? Mud on the floors and in the bed? Pissing on the floor? Like, my kids under 10 sound better at keeping things clean than him. Also, all the friends who feel she's doing this to keep her gravy train, are they going to cover the 70% of market rent if her parents take away her housing privileges? Doubtful so they can STFU. Also, I'd invite them all over before the cleaner comes and show them how he lives and say they are welcome to take him in. I'd also let them know that he's caused $500/month in damages to the apartment since moving in 4 months ago, just so they have a clear picture on what taking him in would look like.

[@shhd2105]

Story 4: so she outed him when he wasn't ready? She needs to worry more about that then her mother not being able to sleep in her room for awhile. I'm glad the dad didn't kick him out or lash out at him that's could've went way worse.

[@emanx222]

Tbh, while I feel that the OP should acknowledge her wrongs with regard to her brother, I don't think she "needs to worry about that more" than her mum because the truth is, gay or not, she doesn't like her brother. Of course she'd be concerned with what her actions caused with regards to her mum (who she actually does care for). I guess what I'm trying to say is that her outting her step bro doesn't have to matter more to the OP. Heck, why should It? The only time id say it should matter more to the OP is if the dad actually had a bad reaction to it and kicked his son out, THEN I'd argue that the OP has bigger things to worry about than where her mum sleeps at night. But in this scenario where the dad has already vindicated his son, she needn't concern herself with it more than is necessary

[@brigidtheirish]

@@emanx222 She's also fifteen and being treated as lesser than her stepbrother. Yeah, she's going to lash out and try to get him in trouble. She probably would've done the same thing if stepbrother had been making out with a girl because he was *lying about where he was.*

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: NTA, at least the boyfriend took the trash out 😂. Judging by the explosive reaction to a cleaner being hired when he chooses to ignore and I contribute to cleaning up after himself, like a damn adult should, it’s not too hard to imagine why his flatmates don’t want him back under any circumstances. Like seriously not having pee on the floor around the toilet and dishes in the HALLWAY is not 0P‘s need to be a super cleaner.

[@malcolmholder3149]

Story 1. The salient point is that the room-mates don't want him back. Wonder why that is, could it be his messiness and unhygienic behaviour? OP throw out the trash and get a new BF and new Friends, you deserve better and you know it. The sweetheart deal from your parents is nobodies business and IMO nothing to be ashamed of since it does come with major conditions. OP NTA and best wishes.

[@claytonmorgan1843]

You gotta wonder what OP sees in that dude. Also what was keeping her with him.

[@melanellie_art]

Okay those crochet waffles at 0:12 are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, Birb Friend, wherever you are, amazing job 😍

[@LunarisArts]

The boyfriend would have been out as soon as he put "muddy footprints on the bed". What kind of barn was he raised in!?

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

The roommates don't want him back that's telling. NTA! I wouldn't have let it go for 4 months. Also ditch the boy child.

[@khaavren3]

story 1: sounds like a kid who never learned basic life skills nor had parents hold him responsible to do any cleaning. Protip, teach your kids to do basic household shit, even the boys. Especially the boys. otherwise, they'll get to be adults who are not welcomed as roommates or life partners.

[@clarabp2613]

Pee in the floor and let dish in the hallway isn't a basic skill. Is basic decency. I think you are right and he has always someone behind him tidying his messes. The other explanation would be he was raised in a barn by wolves.

[@als2480]

As a disabled person looking into getting a rollator (walker with a seat that's able to be used similarly to a wheelchair if needed) NTA- I'd straight up go no contact over that shit. That's ✨ ableism ✨ and I don't fuck with that shit

[@mckenziehowell4936]

How the hell did the bf do $2000 in damages??? What did he do, knock down a wall??? Edit: oh god, his apartment previously had a problem with damp and his roommates hate him. He probably overflows toilets and showers or something.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

He probably ruined bathroom floor pissing all around the toilet lol

[@dianemartel5205]

Story 1: Christ on a bike! Peeing on the floor? Muddy footprints on THE BED? Unbelievable!

[@zebnemma]

Also leaving dishes on the floor. Like okay leaving dishes on tables and counters and such is normal but I think when it gets to the point there's even dishes on the floor it's gone too far LMAO XD. And that's coming from me who can procrastinate doing dishes alot, but I live by myself so obviously I wanna clean up better when I'm getting company.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

I'm just trying to picture why there would be the need for muddy footprints on the bed?????? WTH???

[@wildfyah]

$2,000? In damage? Mud on the bed? Mud????????? Garbage pile up???? Nooooooooo

[@clairebear-96]

I do love this new intro, the moment of darkness/silence before the waffle lights up, it feels like right before the curtain goes up on stage lol

[@jacquiethebibliophil]

Exactly! I couldn't put my finger on it but yes, it adds to the anticipation.

[@darkshadow5581]

story 3 NTA. she can have that dream, but part of having dreams like that is realizing most wont go for it, and its gonna be difficult to find those who do. if she cant handle those truths, its just gonna be alot harder in future for her

[@JUMALATION1]

Story 2: I am in a sliiightly similar situation as OP. I have a comfy 9-5 job and has even managed to talk my boss into letting me partially work from home 3 days a week even after the restrictions were lifted. I have a university degree and several years of experience in my field. The difference to OP's story is that I have had contract-based jobs and some more job insecurity along the way, not knowing what my next contract will be. I am also quite a bit underpaid for someone with my degree, but I still make more than my BF. He is an essential worker and he often comes home to me lying on the bed, probably looking really comfy, with my laptop and work documents in front of me. (This is my preferred position to do work, as opposed to sitting on a stiff chair.) I often feel the need to explain myself to my BF that no, I am not being lazy even though it maybe looks like it. Luckily he has never made any directly mean comments but I still feel sort of "guilty".

[@zombiexi1292]

I just wanted to say I've been following since you were a small channel and you've been there through major life changing events for me. Thank you for being a consistently positive person, your shine helped me find my own way to shine in life.

[@minecraftmum3436]

The last story - wow, words cannot convey the disgust I feel at the bridezilla!!!! That would be the last time I spoke to her and anyone else that said I should apologise. I could almost hear OP's heart breaking when she witnessed her husband's sense of self worth nose dive when he said he didn't mind not being in the photos. Shame on OP's family for being so obnoxious!!

[@HollyAndMistletoe]

The wedding photo bridezilla reminded me of a family wedding. My nephew was going over the photos when one of his friends said, "wow. The photographer messed up on this pose. That lady looks like she only has one arm." My nephew said, "first. I took this photo. Second, my aunt does only have one arm." I couldn't imagine anyone in my family excluding her from anything just because she only has one arm.

[@Swnsasy]

Kids are grown, I don't work and I don't cook, hubby is an Executive Chef.. I do the house work other than that and we both are pretty damn happy..

[@luvuforeverjames]

Same here. I'm an older woman and I don't work either, but I stay home and do what I can to keep my home clean and tidy ( I'm partially disabled but it doesn't stop me), I also cook at least a few times a week, not everyday as sometimes we have take-out or go out for a meal which is lovely. My husband earns good money so I'm lucky in that respect.

[@littleolmee]

S1: NTA. It doesn't matter if it's OP's parents' boundaries that OP is enforcing because if it wasn't for them, OP wouldn't be living in that apartment; it's her parents' place, so their rules go. It sounds like OP is using the fact her parents are coming as an excuse to give her the push she needs to be done with the relationship. S2: NTA. BF is jealous & is taking out his dislike at his own job out on OP. OP has worked hard to get what she has. S3: NAH. She was being honest, as long as she marries someone who can support her she can do this. It's fine if that isn't OP's thing. At least, it didn't take long for them to figure out they weren't right for each other. S4: ESH except for step-brother. OP sucks for outing her step-brother. Mom for being upset when it's a boy he's dating & not if it was a girl. Step-dad for causing jealousy for how he acts towards his step-daughter. S5: NTA. I wouldn't go either. This is so out of line.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

I need more info on that $2,000 in damages! And the roommates not wanting him back. We kinda just glossed over these two _HUGE_ issues. And the friends are trying to make OP guilty for wanting to keep the “gravy train” going….and? The boyfriend (ex?) could’ve had one too if he just cleaned up after himself, not even _deep_ cleaned, just maintenance.

[@locusxe1411]

For story 3 it all depends on the income. If they don’t have kids and op makes a crap ton of money then she could be a housewife as long as she sticks with actually doing it. If op doesn’t make a crap ton then she needs to get a job

[@RoyalRoses]

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ Super long! SO sorry! I go off on tangents for absolutely no reason WHATSOEVER. 😂 I feel the same way. Relationships are all so different so each partnership should do what works for them, literally who can judge a happy couple because of their arrangement? Doesn't make sense. I DO, however, get the initial chuckle by OP because it was probably out of left field and likely came off just super entitled. He would be an Ahole if she said the same thing but added "obviously, if i find the right person and our finances couldn't sustain that type of lifestyle, I would of course do my part to keep our heads above water by working. Being a homemaker is simply my ideal situation and even if I entered a relationship that allowed such an arrangement but later down the road I needed to work permanently or for a certain amount of time, I definitely would do it. We all have our dreams and ideal lifestyles, hopefully I can find that but I also understand 💩 happens!" If she didn't add that because she doesn't see it that way (she could've also not added it for other reasons and does think like that of course), then hopefully she'll gain that mindset in the future, perhaps after a reality check. I've financially supported 2 past relationships so they could go back to school with them also agreeing to take on a large majority of the house work. One relationship definitely took advantage (He kept his end of the deal poorly for not even a month, dropped out after 4 months then screamed at me daily for 'nagging' over their very minimal contributions: aka "I'm mad that your mad and trying to hold me accountable for exhausting this relationship and yes, I will belittle your contributions despite you doing 100% of it", didnt get another job, those around me didn't approve due to the stress it caused my life ultimately resulting in me ending the relationship). The other relationship reciprocated when I also decided to go back to school and take on majority house work after they had finished their trade schooling and certifications. Absolutely not a single person judged that point in our relationship when I (at the time 20-22F) supported him completely for approximately 1.5 years. When he (at the time 23-24M) supported me completely for 1.5 years when I went back to school, not single person judged us for that arrangement either. We were together for more then 4 years so both of us also worked simultaneously for around 1.5 years and we weren't judged then either. (That relationship did end though. Thankfully it ended amicably due to our extremely different beliefs with religion, politics, parenting styles ect, but we still keep in touch as friends) I see people saying NTA because if the genders were switched everyone would call them a scrub but the world isn't that black and white. A scrub is a my first experience, A healthy/happy arrangement was my second experience, both perceptions having nothing to do with gender but rather dynamic and personal actions/decisions. When the people you surround yourself with understand that relationships are insanely individualized, the grey area ends up being the most commonly observed (which most mature adults/ adults with relationship experience do understand). We eventually realize the "common thinking" isn't actually common but rather just mainstream standards that most individuals living entire lives dont subscribe too. Honestly neither of them are the AH here... she was speaking candidly and he was caught off guard. His statement after the fact was completely understandable to think but definitely uncalled for to speak aloud, making her reaction also understandable. They simply weren't meant to be in a relationship with eachother and can now just enter this into their folders of weird/uncomfortable dates. Definitely not as serious as it was made out to be, no "homemaking dreams" were crushed and nobody is a "lifestyle hating pig who can't wrap his head around different dynamics within a relationship", lol.

[@calmingvoice8646]

"My response was, 'go back to work'" 🤣

[@lapsedgoth]

Story 3: as someone with chronic illness I'm a housewife with no kids, though we do live with (his) our parents so I do help them looking after 5 dogs and cleaning up the messes they leave. XD

[@NeKoCuTiE2]

It’s just shows me! At least how people keep shaming you for lack of Boundaries but are find with calling you controlling and to uptight. It’s such a perfect circle of thought. For what happens when one of them feels insecure

[@weeewooo1579]

Hi Mark I love your videos long-time listener never commented before. I am a stay-at-home lady with no children and never will. I ensure that the house is spic and span and I also take care of any family issues that may occur like sick elders and what. I also ensure all of our animals are extremely well taken care of, homemade treats and all of that proper diet proper exercise for all of them. I have a garden that I constantly maintained through spring summer and fall and prep during the winter. It is possible but you have to have a wonderful partner who agrees with this lifestyle my husband is amazing, caring and on top of all of that is patient. I hope you have a wonderful day and stay hydrated.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA He's just jealous. It isn't her fault he's underpaid. He's being really shitty and talks down to her but gets mad when she returns in kind. My wife doesn't make double, triple quadruple, or even quintuple what I make. She makes ALL of the money. She wants a nap? Take a fucking nap. This guy is just insecure

[@BronzeDragon133]

I'd go with ESH. He's not particularly sensitive, she's apparently about as empathetic and helpful about her husband's obviously bad job situation as a small rock. I'm in the same situation; I outearn my husband, have the better job, and neither of us really reflect on it much. He's better educated on paper with an M.S.. I've parlayed my "lesser" but more applicable B.A. into much better jobs. Neither of these people seem particularly mature about it.

[@carolroberts4614]

He is, isn't he? Mean-minded and jealous! And what does he expect her to do? Give the money back? His complaining is just sound and fury, signifying nothing,because there is nothing op can do! Except throw him out hopefully!

[@BronzeDragon133]

@@carolroberts4614 Actually, it sounds like he's hoping for some empathy and, possibly, some assistance in changing jobs. while boiling over with frustration with his own awful job as we all do sometimes, and act a bit petty. Personally, I'm hopeful he gives her the heave-ho and finds somebody a bit more sympathetic than this ice queen. Even from her perspective, she sounds pretty self-superior.

[@locusxe1411]

@@BronzeDragon133 I disagree with you completely. He’s jealous and she hit him with reality

[@BronzeDragon133]

@@locusxe1411 I'll disagree with you completely. She's ice cold and they're both ignoring each other emotionally.

[@mirandanils5114]

Story 2: I get paid alot compared to the work i do and my bf is happy for me. he’s never made me feel bad about it like i don’t deserve it. OP deserves better. NTA

[@aynuralbek6474]

But let’s be real who will pay for you while you nap at a work time? I don’t think the wage is problem but her unprofessional attitude towards her work

[@flashingunicorncupcakekiss1436]

My dad was wheelchair bond and his sister would never let anyone treat her little brother the way the last story did. My mom and aunt would take down anyone who treat my dad like a second class citizen.

[@avatarchix]

First story: NTA. I’d dump him and take him to small claims court for the $2000 of damage.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

Story 3: To all the people saying YTA, imagine if the gender roles were reversed. Like, if I was on a date with a woman and told her I didn't want kids but my dream was to be a stay at home husband, I think most women would laugh in my face Edit: Also, often times laugher is an uncontrollable emotional response. It didn't sound like he was being an AH about, just a chuckle which probably came from the pure shock of her answer.

[@ec4145]

Yeah, I agree. She was basically saying, "I just don't want to work." I am a stay at home mother of four. The chores are only chores because I have little monkeys adding to the messes and laundry, and the bulk of my time is ferrying them about and caring for them. The only time I spent as a childless housewife was while pregnant, and keeping the house tidy and meals cooked for two was about a two hour "work day," with a few hours a week for shopping and planning, and I was a, "clean down to the baseboards every day" type. I was honestly probably adding to the bills more than I contributed with the increased electricity, water, etc to have me there all day. The woman is delusional.

[@littlesmith4593]

Stay at home wife/husband without children is not automatically a free ride using the other spouse. I was that person. My husband had a good paying job, but so little free time that if we were able to have a relationship, he would have no time to run daily errand, deal with service people coming to the home, etc. We decided that since in my chosen profession I would never earn close to what he did, as well as for a variety of other reasons, it made sense for me to be the stay at home spouse only working part time for fun money and just doing something that I loved. No children - just dealing with most of the things that he either did not have time for or was difficult for him. His income payed for everything for the both of us and I spent a lot of time cleaning, organizing, running errands, solving problems, etc....on top of other commitments. The key is that this type of arrangement needs to be a mutual decision that makes sense financially and work for both partners. (Not something one aspires for and makes the other bend to their will.) And yes, this works whether it is the female or the male that is the main bread winner. With more females taking on high paying and demanding jobs, the more likely that they will be happy to have a loving and supportive spouse that only works part time and can handle taking care of the tasks and responsibilities that she would have to hire someone to manage for her if she was single.

[@tabytha7636]

Story 3: NTA why are all the comments acting like these two are married or have been dating for years?? And if someone wants to be a stay-at-home parent or a partner then that's completely fine but it sounds more like they want a sugar partner than a partner, You know more like a sugar daddy or a sugar mommy. As well as not everyone is going to want the same thing as everyone else so the people saying that he's crazy to not take up that offer and jump on her are just insane like he doesn't want a stay at home wife and guess what that's completely fine as well.

[@racecarr4732]

For me I thought he was TA because he was a bit rude and dismissive (like he wasn’t a huge AH or anything like that, just a bit). And if he just said they weren’t compatible and left it at that, then it would be a NAH for me, cuz that’s an appropriate response. Tho I’m curious why you think she was in the wrong, since you put NTA instead of NAH. She was honestly and upfront about everything, even saying she want to be a housewife instead of a stay at home mom. She didn’t even get upset until after he was rude to her.

[@ilbercgross4736]

Agreed. After cleaning, cooking, arends, she will do what? Shop? Hang with friends. Complain about husband never being home? She has so little ambition for herself that she wants to stay at home. Guys get ripped to shreds if they stay at home playing games while she want to stay at home and people cheer her on.

[@lucialovecraft]

You never EVER understand any circumstance out anyone. That absolutely boiled my blood what OP has done and it could have been potentially dangerous.

[@audreym3908]

Which story?

[@lucialovecraft]

@@audreym3908 the second last story

[@audreym3908]

@@lucialovecraft ty for replying

[@MsTemptation]

S1: NTA. You handled it perfectly. The fact that his ex roommates don't want him back shows that you've made the right decision. Plus please dump your jealous friends. Them agreeing with him shows you that they share similar feelings about your relationship with your parents, and this includes how much you respect your parents and their respect for you. Dump that manipulative slob because you already know that you deserve better. You don't have to date down just to prove to anyone that you aren't worthy of someone who should respect you.

[@blazngheart3496]

First story: good grief, Is the boyfriend a dog? Nta OP, you deserve better

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

Dogs don't leave dirty dishes

[@295Phoenix]

Story 1: ESH because she's been taking his shit for WWWAAAAAAYYY TOO LONG!! His flatmates not wanting him around should've been an early warning sign.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) "I don't like that you make so much more money than I do and have to work less than me" "You're right I'm going to quit so I can work as much and make as little as you do so we can be hating our lives together" Is that how he expected that to go? Dump him, he's jealous and unwilling to try and change anything about his life and rather be upset about everything.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I want to know if this job was the bf’s first job opportunity and he decided to settle on it. OP states she has had 4 different jobs until she found the one she has now! Don’t like your job? Then job hunt while you are still working and go to interviews until you find a job you like!!

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Oh hi, Mark! Today, I learned the name of my neighbor's white terrier. Her name is Poppy. I short circuited for a second and was like wait... does Mark secretly live in the US down the street from me!? And then I remembered I was literally talking to the people who actually live there and they don't have 2 stories or a cat flap. 😅

[@RandomTrinidadian]

I see you, Sailor Moon

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

@@RandomTrinidadian Thank you for seeing my fan art! 🥰

[@RandomTrinidadian]

@@UzumakiDonnoHinata 🙂

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: Kick the boyfriend out and leave him. If he can't bother to hit the toilet, that is a deal breaker.

[@lilolmecj]

Ikr, he’s had at least 20 years to fine tune his aim. It is hard to imagine a fully grown person who makes no effort to clean after himself.

[@laurenmentink7401]

Hello Mark. You rock as always. I love your comments on the stories. As to the last story, I would disown my family, sister first. My family at least are not mean to my hubby. I don't like them for other reasons.

[@BronzeDragon133]

Yeah, I'm-a gonna disagree with Story 3 here. If that's a dealbreaker in a relationship for this fellow, it's a NTA (he specifically noted they were potentially going to be in a relationship). It's best to be honest about that right at the beginning rather than lead her on. Honesty is far better than announcing later, "Hey, Mary, you're getting a job!" right after the wedding. Mary can go find somebody whose thoughts are more compatible. And frankly, in this day and age, I would have laughed at her too if she hit that point without preamble. While my salary could keep a small household afloat all by itself, you'd better hope the roof doesn't need replacing and nobody needs a root canal.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

“Mary sounds like a gold digger! What man is gonna take that bait? “Oh, I wanna get married and stay at home while you have to go to work every day to support my lazy butt!” I can clean my house on Monday and it sure doesn’t need cleaning again for a few days and there are only two of us here. Most of the mess is from the 2 cats 🐱😉. She wants to sit at home and clean every couple of days, cook dinner (30 minutes or so…unless she uses a crockpot 🤣) and with no children in the future 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@keepdancingmaria]

I'm still puzzling about the muddy footprints, on the BED! How did he accomplish that one?

[@carolroberts4614]

That's certainly a puzzle! Don't think he was dusting the lampshade!

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Story 4: It's often the most homophobic people who try to say they aren't homophobic. The jealousy is palpable and even if OP hadn't gone so far to out her stepbrother, the fact she went out of her way to dig up dirt on him is disgusting. No wonder he never bonded with a treacherous little snitch. Also the stepmother indicating that she would have been okay with it if OP's stepbrother had been seeing a girl is the cherry on top of this "family." Both OP and her mother are homophobic and I hope they get left in the dust like the trash they are.

[@drizztdourden8111]

How does this story have anything to do with homophobia? The OP is obviously an AH for ratting out her step brother over jealousy and to try to prove that the perfect boy isn't perfect. I also fail to see how the mothers comment makes her a homophobe either unless your digging. Also, I fail to see why the brother gets out of his punishment for lying.

[@diamondwhite8938]

@@drizztdourden8111 it seems like they knew he was seeing someone and most likely didn't care much but seeing how now it's a boy he's seeing, they're all angry about him "lying" and punishing him

[@drizztdourden8111]

@@diamondwhite8938That makes sense. I think I misinterpreted the story then. I apologize and will show myself out. Thank you for explaining I appreciate it.

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

@@drizztdourden8111 Double standard: the stepmother was fine with her son having a secret relationship until she found out it was with a boy. That is homophobic. OP is homophobic for seeing that secret relationship as evidence of her stepbrother not being perfect, implying being gay is a flaw. OP tries to frame the story around the stepbrother lying while glossing over her own vindictive attempts to tear down her stepbrother. She's a hypocrite at best, a homophobic narcissist at worst.

[@emanx222]

@@kimberlyterasaki4843 I think you're right about the mum being homophobic but you're reaching HARD when it comes to the OP and ill you why. You said "the OP is homophobic for seeing that secret relationship as evidence for the brother not being perfect implying that being gay is a flaw". The only way that would be the case would depend on whether the OP would have done the same thing if the brother was seeing a girl too I.e. more emphasis on the fact that it was a secret relationship at all as opposed to the genders involved. While you could argue that the brother kept it secret specifically because it was a boy, that doesn't change anything because the mother played along even though she believed the brother was seeing a girl which makes it sound like relationships are forbidden regardless. This essentially means that it's only an assumption that the OP is homophobic, you can't outright say that is the case because we don't know the family's stance on relationships People tend to be so quick to shout homophobia in cases like these just because a homosexual person is involved. That doesn't inherently make an action done against that person homophobia, much like someone doing something against me doesn't make their actions racist just because I'm black. People need to calm down with how readily they throw these terms around imo

[@sablemoreno5095]

For the first story, I'd honestly document the damage and small claims court it. If he's caused over 2k in damage in under 4 months that's crap that any potential landlord needs to know. Also then maybe the friends will shut up and realize how bad a tenant and house guest he is. Or they can see that if they overed him their place to stay. Also it's a thing that if the parents find out, then the OP can show they're being responsible in taking steps to recover the damages and handling things like an adult. It'd be better to have everything ready before they get there in that instance so its more of a "I was getting everything gathered" vs a "I didn't know what to do" situation. I personally would have more trust in someone where they knew they messed up and had a plan to fix things in the works vs trying to keep it hidden and lying (since people rarely like to admit their mistakes)

[@NeKoCuTiE2]

Omg XD like they themselves don’t notice keep causing a back and forth goal post on embarrassment and control. Just constantly panic

[@triwolfdelta737]

1st story- If op wants to, they can give their boyfriend and ultimatum saying that they wont be kicked out if they can get their act together and if he can’t clean after himself then he needs to help pay rent

[@mima236]

Woohoo I’m early! Love watching these while I get ready for the day. Hope you’re also having a good day Mark! :)

[@catandrobbyflores]

I agree with one comment on story 1. Dude wanted a bang maid and not having to pay for rent/utilities.

[@Freakyanimefan181]

story 3, NTA she wants a free ride be provided for without doing anything at all

[@aislynnsavannah4341]

there's literally no such thing as child free housewives the literal definition of a housewife is a woman who takes care of the "family" and their affairs, she basically just wants to sit on her ass and pull her weight around

[@fandomfan2800]

@@aislynnsavannah4341 Umm no? Women aren't your slaves

[@aislynnsavannah4341]

@@fandomfan2800 "women aren't your slaves" bruh I am a woman FYI besides if it looks like a duck but meows like a cat it's definitely not a duck

[@Freakyanimefan181]

@@fandomfan2800 housewives do not equal slavery, its contributing in different ways other than monetary, yeah it's not for everyone and that's fine but it's unreasonable to look for someone to take care of you expect them to want nothing in return. men aren't your wallets

[@Symphonia30]

Definitely NTA in the first story I hate free loaders, especially messy ones like this. He can’t even clean his own pee off the toilet seat, disgusting

[@Tyanna01]

Story 2: IT/software pays really well, that's true, but the best way to get ahead in terms of salary is to jump jobs. It sucks, but it's true. I discovered I was severely under paid at a company I had been at for 5 years and when I brought it up I was told they didn't have money to give me a raise. I got a 30k pay bump by changing jobs. My old company couldn't believe it. OP's advice to her bf was sound. If your company refuses to pay you what you're worth, look and see what else is out there, especially if you're in IT/software. There is a shortage of good ppl right now. Nearly EVERY company is looking. OP is NTA for working smarter not harder. I wish I was as young as her when I figured out how to play 'the game', job hop and negotiate salary. Clever girl. :)

[@kimsmith1746]

1st story...Why did everyone gloss over OP'S edit? Boyfriend's roommates don't want him back under any circumstances. That says it all right there.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 1:NTA. Send the friends pictures of the mess and ask if they're willing to put up that. If any say yes, call the ex and tell him you found someone that would take him.

[@paulclay4229]

Story 3, totally NTA its laughable. Dude dodged the bullet. I work full time and rin a child free home. Its, not, that, hard. What she wanted was a free ride.

[@standinthegsp6858]

I would have taken pictures of all the mess & damage & shared it with his friends & yours

[@Lillypop93]

Set my phone down and my kitten liked your video with her lil paw 😍😍

[@frozenheart7133]

Story 2: I also work in IT admin, and I totally take naps during the day. Sorry to my colleagues but I put in my 40, regardless of the time of day 😂

[@badkitty4922]

Can't find my glasses. Can't read the title but I recognized Mark's icon and am being treated to stories! Btw thank God for talk to text lol

[@patredding]

Last story, both go to wedding, take plenty of selfies and post to IG or FB. She can't get mad because they aren't in HER wedding photos.

[@RedReaper666OG]

Story 5: NTA- TOTALLY a hill worth fuckin' dying on right there!!!!!!

[@quarterknight3572]

First story - TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS IN DAMAGES?!?!? NTA all the way and ditch the trash

[@alyzu4755]

$2,000 in damages?!?!?! And his former roommates don't want him back? And he's not paying rent? Kick him out! 2nd story: Sounds like BF is simply jealous, his ego has taken a hit, and he's taking it out on you. He's being an a** and trying to make you doubt yourself.

[@elizabethmaddan1487]

My curiosity to the 1st story is.. is this maybe why his roommates didn't want him back and if that should have been her 1st red flag

[@pamcauble3755]

Waffles for breakfast, relaxing and listening to Mark on a Sunday morning is a sure fire way to have a great day

[@louellacharlton4425]

Ok don't know what to say about the last story except WTF. JUST "WHAT"?? I feel so blessed that these issues have never come up in my family.

[@soulechelon2643]

Story 1: NTA obviously, but whenever I see a story like this I can't help but wonder why the OP doesn't tell the friends/family/etc exactly what's going on. She blatantly stated the friends don't know the whole story. Well...TELL. THEM. SHOW. THEM. Don't sit there and let yourself be insulted or attacked or be talked about negatively over false perceptions. Don't protect the real AH in the situation. Document everything that's happening, provide proof with pictures or recordings or what have you. Do whatever you can to show those that know you your back is against a wall and you had to do the perceived "AH" action for good reason. Story 2: NTA. Pure jealousy and pride plain and simple. Yeah it sucks seeing someone with an easier job than you. Heck the OP stating how easy her job is kind of annoyed me just a little ngl. But it's jealousy and pride. That's all it is. The OP didn't lord her job over her boyfriend, and it's not her fault he isn't getting paid as much as he should. He needs to simmer down with that jealousy crap and remember that his girlfriend having a good paying job is a good thing - not just for her, but for him as well. Story 3: Maybe a YTA, though I'm not entirely on the date's side either. OP probably didn't need to dash her dreams like that, while at the same time it sounded like he may have potentially dodged a bullet. Alot of people are painting the picture of a perfect house wife that'll do no wrong when it comes to this woman. We don't know that. At all. She could just be trying to get a free ride in life. See - assumptions can go both ways. That said, the OP should've simply disagreed and broke it off amicably. There are guys (and girls) out there who will indeed allow their spouses to be housewives/husbands so long as they keep the house in check without the need to also be mothers and fathers. OP sounds like he has a strong work ethic, and thus wasn't grown up to know this is a thing. Still, yeah I agree with the YTA purely because he could've just walked away instead of making any added remarks. Story 4: Obvious YTA, however I can understand the OP's mentality here. Alot of people are attacking her for being homophobic, however I don't fully believe that's the case. If she were truly homophobic, she wouldn't feel so terrible about the aftermath of her decision. Instead, as a middle child myself, I believe this was purely due to sibling rivalry and jealousy. Yes - she is most definitely the AH - there's no defending that. Outing someone, being vindictive, allowing jealousy to cloud her judgement, etcetcetc. But I can see her head space and why she initially thought it was justified. My older brother was the "perfect son" while I was growing up. Good grades, always healthy, went to the Navy, seen a good chunk of the world, had a wife (divorced) and kids, etc. while I have none of that. It bred (and kinda still does breed) alot of jealousy within me, but instead of lashing out, I kept it bottled in...which frankly wasn't a great idea either for my own mental stability. I eventually saw a therapist and was in constant tears as I told her about my upbringing and how I felt like a shadow next to my brilliant brother and eventual spoiled brat of a sister. So yeah...I get the OP. Doesn't change the verdict, but I get it. Story 5: NTA. The sister can choose to exclude anyone out of her wedding, but the OP can just as easily choose to exclude herself if she disagrees. And the sister's logic is a bit off. Sure, someone might ask if the OP's husband was in some sort of accident, but that doesn't take away anything from the bride. Besides, wedding photos aren't just about thumping your chest. They're about cataloging memories of how your family all came together to be there for you on a day of celebration. That SHOULD include the disabled family as well. Just think - I wonder if those in the family that agree with the OP's sister would say the same thing if her father was in a wheelchair? Or if the OP was in one? Or any close relative in general? OP's sister is indeed a bridezilla.

[@biikuajet]

The boyfriend in the first story is not a boyfriend. He is a child.

[@charondusk5608]

"He pees around the toilet without cleaning it up". Nope, fuck that, no way, HELL NO. He would've got ONE warning not to do that again or to at least clean up behind himself, and when he did it again he would've been out on his arse within the HOUR. It's bad enough with the rubbish and plates, but not even cleaning up his own bodily waste is Beyond Disgusting.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@katiesmith2031]

Hugs and great vibes back 🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@katiesmith2031 much love m8 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@lalalachris]

NTA he refused to keep the apartment in any decent condition and relied on her to be a maid. She wasn’t “upholding her parents’ standards” she came upon the straw that broke the camel’s back.

[@Josku2411]

Oop a lil late was too busy staring at my character design like "I wonder if this works"

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Ooo

[@MsTwissy]

With story 1 I do have a counter point to just the usual dump and run, which is that for some people, setting clear boundaries and holding them accountable can actually help them change long term. My husband never knew how to clean growing up because his mom did it all (lives in a country where that’s the culture). In moving to America he was a slob. Just left garbage where he made it, only cleaned dishes when he needed them again, left food out, never took the trash out etc. but I made it clear to him when we moved in together that couldn’t go on. We had a long talk and at first he had the mentality of “I don’t care so why should I do the work” but I managed to convince him that he wasn’t minding because I was cleaning the messes before they got out of hand. We had a few really long talks and an argument or two about it and I would go through phases of reminding him a lot and less often because it takes time to reprogram and unlearn carelessness. Now he does the majority of the cleaning in the house and I just tackle the bigger harder messes like deep cleaning the kitchen and bathroom. People can change and it doesn’t take that much effort at least sometimes, just a year for us of slowly patiently working on it, him knowing it was important to me.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Pausing now, honey super clean and clean are completely separate things and he wasn't even keeping it clean at all. I'll admit I'm a horrible maid (unless I'm being paid) and my house is cluttered, but peeing around the toilet? Dishes in the hallway (apart from my toddler sometimes losing spoons all over the house), muddy footprints on the bed??? No, even a normal clean person can't handle that and I would be disgusted and I'm a messy person, my husband who's a neat freak over mine and the kids things would be losing his damn mind. Edit: he's toxic and needs to go and be dumped. I would take pictures and send them to the friends and let them know how bad it is, or better invite them over to help you clean if they think you're so bad and think he's not that bad. Also $2k in damage?????!!!!!

[@ryanbalfe4907]

First story: it was all bad enough already but as soon as I heard 2k in damages over what 4 months?!?! I would of throw my gf out the door if she hadn't paid for that shit immediately. Also how the he'll do you cause 2k in damages in under 4months

[@Homewarfare]

Story 3: NTA. Story 4: Massive ahole.

[@willj24]

“Crushed that poor woman’s dreams”? So, she dreams of having someone give her stuff, was cagey about even committing to doing housework or anything to earn it, and was apparently just dreaming of a carefree life where everything is handed to her. Hard pass. I work so I can afford my life. I’d love it if I could find someone to pay for my entire life with no responsibilities on my part, too, but if I told someone that was my dream, they’d laugh at me, not treat it seriously so as not to “crush my dreams.”

[@willj24]

I love how the comments seem to feel like OP is TA for not wanting to support someone he loves, and even give examples of the woman’s stress-free life that don’t include even basic house keeping, but if it was a woman on a date with a guy who wanted to sit at home, hang out with friends, watch TV and play video games while his wife supported him, I’ll bet those same commenters would be calling him a freeloading AH. The crazy thing is, knowing Reddit, odds are that most of these commenters probably think themselves “woke” and decry gender roles…

[@willj24]

Oh, and by the way, I’m not opposed to anything two people want to agree to. You want a “traditional” relationship where one does all of the housework and the other earns a living and comes home to a hot dinner? Great. You want an equal relationship where you both work and split the bills and housework equally, great. Heck, if you both want a master/slave relationship, where one of you does ALL of the work and the other does nothing but hold the leash, that’s fine if it’s what you both want. I’m just offended by the commenters that think OP is TA for daring to suggest that he’s not up for what she wants… or that suggests that it is HER time that was wasted. Both tried this date, both discovered that the other wanted something they themselves didn’t want, that’s part of what dating is for.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Nope, stay away from the wedding, if sister wants to be an ablest and the rest of the family supporting it, just nope! Husband is package deal to OP, it's called suck it up.

[@threeducks157]

Obligatory "GET OFF MA SWAMP"

[@TorchT]

Last Story - NTA - The Sister should have made a compromise, like I don't know make everyone else, Sit down, except for the Bride and Groom to make them stand out. But I digress, OP is NTA for not attending, because F that Noise

[@choohueysan9136]

First story : NTA. Take out the trash, him included.

[@daniellediller5070]

It's already snow in my neck of the woods like wtf!🤯

[@Pidgeyato]

Heck yea! Just finished the dishes and go onto my phone to see a new video >:DD

[@debhufnagel5912]

First story I would hire someone to pack his stuff. And ship it back to the old place cod and change the locks. Yes the roommates probably don't want him back. Not OP problem!

[@petunijadu]

Story 5: in the age of attention seekers there is nothing surprising for people to se a man on a wheelchair and being jealous thinking : 'Oh, he is getting ALL OF THE ATTENTION'. It is impossible for them to imagine that he would exchange this attention for the ability to walk anytime. Wife is NTA, she is a good wife.

[@yaff1851]

Story 3: There never was a time when childfree by choice and housewive were combinable. In the 1950s, childfree was unacceptable - and access to contraception highly restricted. In 2021, women are expected to contribute to the family income until they have kids. Of course everyone is entitled to disagree - by the way another progress since the 1950s - but so is OP.

[@maurer3d]

Story 3: NTA, being a housewife, only make since if you have young children, in this modern age, since housing is so expensive.