I Told My Girlfriend She Stole From Me When She USED MY CREDIT CARD Whilst I Was Asleep r/AITA

[@janicewilcox8590]

"dude can't use his undiagnosed issue to force you" - No. Dude can't use his issue, diagnosed or not, to force you. Period.

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

I agree with you, the fact that she already said she had to « respect his boundaries » when those boundaries are unreasonable is a sign he already put his problems on her

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: She should tell her roommate that instead of thinking about how often she kisses her own cat before he kisses it, he should think about how the cat licks it's own butthole, then licks it's self all over, even on it's paws that it rubs all over it's head!

[@epicXtrollface]

I'm sure the roommate will then throw a tantrum about how the cat has to go. If it's walking all over the place, then there will be "residue" all over as well. I can only imagine how much the roommate would freak out if their brain had the capacity to think that far.

[@restinwalken]

That might work, but people's germ disgust can be non-logical. Me: I have OCD gremaphobia, but only really in regards to human germs. Animal germs are different an only bother me a bit. When I tell people this it's like "yes I can't even explain it to you well because I know on a logical level it makes NO GAD DANG SENSE! It just is. My brain is being stupid over something 🤷‍♀️ dumb" -Cat licks me whatever it's dry and their tongues feel weirdly nice. -Slobbering dog lick ewww don't lick me you are disgusting AsS animal, I love you and will give you tons of affection just no licking. -Human saliva gets on me or using a cup or utensils I didn't wash so (I don't know how clean it actually is) that others have used. Aahhh must go wash it off now wash rinse, wash rinse, wash rinse, at least 3 times.

[@restinwalken]

Regardless it is a him problem. It is also not his cat. He wants her to not kiss her cat so he can. No dude that's a you problem don't make it OPs problem. Stop being entitled to an unexpectable 'accomodations'.

[@genevievecutro1153]

I agree with this if he was a germaphobe

[@akl2k7]

Then again, in this case, the forehead is probably the cleanest place on the cat!

[@ThePinkBinks]

Dog trainer here: people try this all the time with shelters. Once you sign the paper it’s not your dog anymore and you WON’T get them back. Shelters are not free boarding kennels for pets of cheapskate owners.

[@saratronus]

Yeah I work at a shelter and can second this but most of the time it was the pet sitters leaving the pet and owner come freaking out about it which is understandable

[@Russman67]

Story 3: Asking someone two years post relationship to keep "our" dog is all sorts of crazy. And who thinks putting their dog in a shelter is kenneling him. What? Not the asshole!

[@mattblood4201]

Plus she cheated on OP WTF is she on

[@youikina]

Story 4: I have a weird feeling that the mistress wanted the ex-wife's life. That she somehow thought she could take it over. She is just upset it isn't happening as she wanted. She is delusional.

[@Russman67]

I'm pretty sure her boyfriend promised her the life too. Sadly for her the entire neighborhood is on "Team Ex-wife" now. The audacity to think she could just come in and take her spot. I mean that would be hard even if the ex-wife was dead. No. This woman cheated with the husband!

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I'm just wondering why reddit users expected OP to react nicer. The woman waited for you at the door to confront OP. That alone asks for a blunt reaction. Why would you have to be nice to a cheating ex-friend and her mistress.

[@KashyaCharsi]

Reminds me of Westworld when one host is taken apart and a not even similar-looking other robot is put in their role, and the other hosts are just supposed to accept that this one has always been their wife/father/friend.

[@alicewilloughby4318]

Story 2 - I don't claim to be an expert, but it seems odd that the roommate can't stand the idea of OP's germs getting on her cat, but has no problem with kissing the cat himself.

[@CreepyBlueAnimals84]

Came here to say this!! I get the feeling he is milking this whole thing and pulling a total Sheldon Cooper just to have his way!!!

[@bloonh8tr619]

Remember if you're in a relationship and use the what's mine is yours logic, remember consent comes first

[@Arylwren1]

Technical speaking, the gf did steal ops credit card and could have buggered up his budget by using it like this. And I'm honestly shocked by the YTA comments.

[@Because-rt8qs]

It's weird that he responded "you technically stole from me." If someone stole from me I would demand my money back or I'm calling the cops right the f now. Him saying "technically" makes it sound like he doesn't REALLY think she stole, he's not REALLY mad, he's just "technically" correct. It's a weird thing to say IMO.

[@bhutehole]

@@Because-rt8qs not really mad? yet he made a post about this. explaining exactly what about it makes him mad. which is the point of the this rather than the vocabulary chosen. Men are usually expected to provide for women so hes here to ask if its ok to be mad about this. your looking too much into this. sound kinda projecty

[@Mewse1203]

Story 3: NTA it's never been "our" dog. It's her dog. No is a complete sentence and OP gave him the only reason necessary: I don't want to. She's an idiot for not boarding it. Giving it to a shelter was her choice and she doesn't get to blame OP.

[@mattblood4201]

So damn true than tried to say OP owes her Money for her own actions

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: NTA She took HIS credit card without permission. That Automatically makes him no asshole. Even if she was trying to do something nice, she went about it way wrongly.. All she did was put him in the hook to pay a bill without taking to him. It wasn't her money, period. This relationship is too new for her to assume she can just take the card. Edit after comments: this is not a small issue. She felt entitled to use his money despite no conversation giving her that permission. She STOLE from him. . He didn't overreact, and this is a sign of her not having appropriate boundaries. They've only been together 7 months and she thinks it's OK to go through his wallet, take his card, and spend who knows how much of his money with no regards for his permission or budget. This shouldn't have to be a boundary that has to be set because it is something we are all taught: don't take other people's stuff without permission, period.

[@amanur1518]

I also don't feel she had any intention of paying him back or even telling him she had used his card. One detail being overlooked is that he had to ask her where she got the money from - what if he hadn't thought to ask? That's such a violation, and yes it IS stealing - good intentions or no.

[@Kohana07]

I agree, they only been dating for less of a year and she is already using HIS money? He doesn’t even know this women yet. Also for all we know she could be treating this surprise as a testing ground on how he feels about her using his money for the future and gaslighting him to be ok with it. It’s a nice gesture but how is this any different from buying someone a gift with money they stole from someone else. It sucks he called her a thief but technically she was.

[@morganlaboure3141]

@@Kohana07 my thoughts exactly, I think she was testing what she could get away with....

[@dennislemasters4339]

using someone else's credit card is identity theft especially if it's without their permission

[@HighPhoenix1754]

Yeah.. for people saying his words were an overreaction... How about her reaction? Crying? Storming out? He called her out for what she did, and she got mad and instead of staying and communicating, she walked out. You can't have a good discussion if the other person leaves the room. He tried to establish a boundary and she choose to be a brat about it.

[@crazypyp5871]

People are being so lenient to the girlfriend in the first story. She stole from him and how is it a gift when you use THEIR money without permission. Sure, the breakfast is nice, but she stole from him. Her being OP's girlfriend has nothing to do with it.

[@Kohana07]

Thank you, that’s like “babe let me take you out to dinner” and pay with his credit card while saying aren’t I nice. 😆WTF we see the same thing in narcissistic parent stories all the time and people agree that the parent is wrong when they do a similar thing; how is this different?

[@ravanpee1325]

Simps and white knights are all over Reddit

[@ijornhribrudkrvir]

yeah, and like- there are ways to do that on a budget to use her own money. most houses have the basic stuff necessary yo make pancakes, French toast, etc. there's no need to do a huge grocery shop, the gesture is what counts anyway

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@ravanpee1325 - Don't forget the Feminists.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 1: She took his card without his permission. That's not even technically stealing, it's just stealing.

[@ivymcassey2405]

You missed the fact that she left her purse at home and was paying him back. He tried to slip that part in passed everyone. That is why it is technically stealing because he was not going to be out any money in the end

[@killerking106]

@@ivymcassey2405 that’s only because he called her out on stealing. I highly doubt she would have paid him back anything if he didn’t say anything but now she has the “well I paid him back” excuse so people will look more at him for being the ass

[@songohan3321]

They also don't seem to be at that point of the relationship either. Plus if she don't know his current financial situation, this could mess him up.

[@ohno8398]

@@ivymcassey2405 she shouldn't be doing anything that requires paying him back without his consent!

[@Sugieb]

@@ivymcassey2405 Oh I took your car because mine was in the shop but I brought it back!🙂

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 1: Hell is paved with good intentions. This could also be the girlfriend testing the waters to see if she can get away with this boundary crossing. Story 2: my son has autism and he has sensory issues (germs, physical contact, certain textures, and smells), but with therapy and lots of hard work, he learned that the world won't change to accommodate his quirks/needs, so he was taught coping techniques to help him when he encounters anything that triggers his sensory issues and he is mindful that they are his issues and not to blame others. OP's roommate needs to live by themselves if they continue to be stubborn and demand that OP accommodates them 100%. Also, please know that autism is a spectrum and treatment is not a "one size fits all". It can be especially hard for those diagnosed later in life. OP has done a wonderful job helping their roommate to cope, but I think that she needs to step back and let her roommate get the proper care they need.

[@Homewarfare]

Story 4: How are you gonna say that someone who knew about the dudes wife and kids and chose to not only continue but move in to their house once the wife left isn't at least part of the problem???? OP is NTA.

[@anarchylove92]

Second story: I'd kiss my cat more on purpose. Sort yourself out, that applies to everyone.

[@MediaWebCrawler]

Story ones NTA would be a LOT more clear to everyone if the guy did this "for" the girl ETA for the ESH response: "she was out of line and should not have done what she did.. but because OP told her that she was out of line and should not have done what he did, he's also an asshole" Idk about y'all, but im getting pretty miffed with the amount of shit like this.. and it's pretty one sided. What I'm talking about is something to the effect of, "yeah well she was in the wrong but it just reeks of abuse that he told her that she was, like, he should have asked himself WHY she did this wrong thing, been more understanding and (preferably not said anything at all cause like wtf she didn't mean to do wrong) thanked her for her efforts while adopting an air of discomfort/disappointment for her to pick up on so SHE could address the issue and not he made to feel like shit". When someone does something that crosses a line, in any way, intentional or not, the person effected is NOT A DICKHEAD for being upset about it and pointing that out. A lot more often than not, this is understood and encouraged on this sub (as it should be) when it's the woman expressing her feelings on the matter, but not when the sex is reversed. This guy didn't shout, he didn't haul off and beat her, he literally said that what she had done (despite her intentions) was technically theft (it was) and that she had overstepped.. her reaction wasn't to apologize, but double down and gas light him, the sister being no better. NTA. Sorry for the rant, this is just something that's been getting more irritating as it becomes more common and pronounced.

[@starempresshel1211]

For everyone saying YTA or ESH in story 1... wow, bet if their card was stolen by their significant other to make the surprise, they wouldn't care if it caused problems down the road like the other doing it again but for worse things or might be in overdrawn and cause bills to be missed or so many other things. Just... it baffles me and I don't care what people say that it was paid back and it only happened due to forgetting their wallet. THAT IS NOT THE POINT! THEFT IS THEFT! WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE!?

[@kimmurphy6621]

Exactly. People being stuck on his reaction being bad, it didnt sound that harsh to me but i have no idea what his tone was but regardless his reaction was likely one of shock and maybe even betrayal. He clearly didn't expect her to do that. The comment about his actions likely ended the relationship, yet no one considering maybe he is thinking this is a red flag and should end it himself.

[@macylouwho1187]

I guess that depends on if you don’t care an iota about hurting someone that you deeply care about and regularly have sex with because she cares about you enough to share her body with you that regularly. Quite convenient, to have that in house romance without having to go hunt for it every day and oftentimes strike out. Yes she should have asked, but intent is important here if someone values their relationship at all. Because this guy probably just nuked his entire relationship to the ground permanently because it’s hard to come back from “hey babe-you stole my money you thief! How dare you purchase food with my money and cook me breakfast with it after we probably had sex the night before!” 😂. Yes it was immature and irresponsible to use the card without consent, but she clearly had the money to pay him right back and might very well have if given a moment that didn’t include the previous conversation in other words 😂. And her intentions were good, she really thought she was doing a nice thing for him. Eating in saves a significant amount of money versus eating out all of the time-everyone knows this. And you HAVE to eat, that part is non negotiable in life. So at some point he would have had to walk out the door and spend more money for less food. If you shop and cook at home, the food lasts past that first meal. You can make more meals with it. This is only a deal breaker of a situation if you value money more than emotional love, sex, and someone to spend your life with. If this is the case, you should probably date a cash register instead of a faulty human being who sometimes makes mistakes or does/says the wrong thing.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@@kimmurphy6621 But it's the New Age! We have to tread lightly because we don't want to upset the snowflakes./s Yes, that situation truly deserved plain language, not pussyfooting around trying to spare someone's feelings. He might be better off without her

[@shubham221992]

yeah, I'm still hung up on the fact that the girlfriend thought it was a good idea to surprise someone by buying something for them with their own money, who does that? Then she gets mad when called out on it lmao

[@TheSwagger81]

Theft is theft? Lol. Ya grey areas don’t exist. Ffs. She didn’t have her funds and she probably spent $20. Hope that doesn’t break the bank. What petty losers

[@locusxe1411]

Story 1 Easy NTA. It makes me so mad that people are literally saying YTA or ESH. He didn’t overreact at all. She stole from him which makes her a thief. It doesn’t matter if she was going to pay him back. She stole. Just like one of the comments said, that’s the equivalent of someone buying you a gift with your own money. They’ve been dating for not even a full year. I’m just so disgusted with people who think otherwise

[@Gir0Fan0Number01]

Exactly! They kept saying "YoU cOuLd HaVe WoRdEd It BeTtEr" like a knee-jerk reaction isn't common, or that everyone should have the skill to think rationally and carefully word their thoughts in a split second, when that just isn't true. She was a thief, whether it was her intention or not. She had time to think, and make a quick stop to her place to get her own money, or to wake him up real quick and ask to borrow his card. I say NTA

[@saratronus]

People need to figure out how to communicate and set up boundaries before a relationship Like this all could have been solved with simple communication and boundary setting. She did something nice that crossed boundaries asshole move His reaction was over the top and insulting asshole move And as an adult we're taught to how you say control needs your reactions

[@sorachitheeggo4440]

@@saratronus again, just in case. In the real world, there are also preset boundaries. Stealing is boundary you should not have to set up. It doesn't matter if they are in a relationship because, unless they share accounts, that money is not hers to touch.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. She took your credit card 💳 without asking, she did steal from you. Yes, she wanted to do something nice for you but she didn’t asked. Story 2: NTA. It’s your cat, plus he kisses the cat too. He is gaslighting you by repeatedly telling you it’s your fault. Story 3: NTA. It’s not your dog 🐶, ergo not your problem. You took your cats, and she took her dog. You two broke up, the dog was never your responsibility. Story 4: NTA. Your neighbor, your former friend, cheated on his wife. The mistress has some gall to ask to friends with you after she helped destroyed your friend’s relationship. You were actually nicer than me in that situation.

[@lilz]

The anticipation in Mark’s voice when he says “it’s going be a nightmare neighbor, let’s find out!!” Edit: and yesssss you’re picturing a cul-de-sac! Those are mainly in pretty fancy neighborhoods or from what I’ve seen

[@gretchenmyers1279]

a short time gf or bf has no idea of their partners debt load, credit limit or income, except maybe surface stuff. If someone took my debit card for any reason, it's game over! how can anyone think this is okay? also, shame on the store clerk for allowing someone who is obviously not the card holder (different gender, masculine name, etc. ) to charge anything. this is the MO of many credit thieves, to make an insignificant charge first to see if it goes through.

[@ECjj33]

Story one: it’s concerning how many people think op is wrong. Gf committed credit card fraud, and and could’ve been a felony depending how much she spent. Remind me to keep my credit card away from 90% of Redditors.

[@nejikath]

I know, right? My boyfriend and I are celebrating 2 years together in February and I would never dream of using his credit card without his permission. Hell, I would even need his permission in writing to feel 100% comfortable taking his credit card and paying for a purchase with it. So that girlfriend of 7 months definitely has no business borrowing the OP's credit card.

[@saratronus]

I feel like the differences she went on and bought Groceries for his apartment she didn't do it for selfish reasons and op's reaction is very off he never explained his boundaries he immediately went to calling her a thief If most of her Previous relationships were like this She probably thought that this would be no different this could have been a great time to sit down and talk about bandaries but that not what he did In healthy relationships there's going to be mistakes and that's when you sit down and discuss And set boundaries if need be but if those boundaries keep getting cross that's when you cut it off That's why I believe it's in everyone's suck here. This could have all been resolved with a simple calm conversation After all it worked with me :)

[@sorachitheeggo4440]

@@saratronus if you need to be told not to use other peoples things without asking, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship

[@alucardzutain6062]

@@sorachitheeggo4440 This why our Generation is so fragile: You. Make a big Fuss about some nonchalant thing and you assume the worst. I bet my Life youre SIngle and know its you, and not the "others". While its inda rude, he couldve checked his Bill, talked to her abut Boundaries and what nt. He called her Thief and she dodged a Bullet. This Time: Reddit was right and the People of NTA are biased, crybabys who cant be mature enough to be in a Realtionship. End of Story.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@saratronus In what freaking world is not taking someone else’s cc NOT. a boundary?! I mean, people have to actually explicitly set that as a boundary??? They’d been together for oh wow a whole seven months, woohoo!! Dump the sleaze. She’s either setting him up for something down the line, or she’s just too stupid to date.

[@FallenRosestorm]

story one: NTA her taking his card to pay and make food or him is like using someone's card to buy them a gift you just don't do that, even if it's for the stuff to make it it still counts

[@nonamenoface3654]

Funny enough Reddit had a story of wife buying op a gift with op's money & reddit called wife the idiot.

[@saratronus]

@@nonamenoface3654 Here it's groceries for HIS apartment the other one was a EXPENSIVE watch There's a clear difference one is at a necessity and the other is out of want and the other 1 almost left the op With 0 money to his name. And I think this isn't everyone sucks here but mainly on the girlfriend's part and just a little bit on the boyfriend's part communication would have been key here discussing boundaries.

[@saratronus]

He basically woke up and got his Groceries I don't think Getting someone groceries is considered a gift It's a necessity to have groceries Granted the girlfriend could have asked But I think she wanted it to be a surprise I feel like this would have been a great time to just discuss boundaries Because yeah what she did was nice but it kind of pushed some boundaries

[@trainerlesseevee478]

The ppl in the first story saying YTA are probably children or well off people that don't understand how strict and nerve racking a credit card is. There is a lot of responsibility that goes into having one. One wrong payment can wreck your credit and funds. NTA

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Oh hi, Mark! Hope you're well! Thanks to you and everyone who sent out prayers for me. I passed my class a full letter grade higher than I expected!

[@MarkNarrations]

Your hard work mate

[@katiesmith2031]

That's great congratulations 🎉 hope you are having a wonderful day

[@AndyyWithAY]

Great job!! Hope you enjoy your holidays after all your hard work

[@KittenUndercover]

Way to go!!

[@LadyJoolree]

Yaaas Qweeen! 🤩

[@kbf9644]

Breakfast dude is absolutely NTA. Who thinks it’s okay to spend other people’s money without having it defined as a boundary first?

[@missymeakin6945]

1st story. NTA. It's nice that she wanted to make you breakfast. But once she realized she didn't have her wallet, she had 2 choices. Wake you up and ask to use your card and why, or wait until another day to do it. What if she took a card with no funds available? What a surprise that would have been when it was declined and her name didn't match the name on the card. Now your reaction could have been this, " Thanks Babe for the surprise breakfast. I'm just glad there was money available on the card. Next time ask ok?"

[@yandereskitty]

Also. Whether it was nice or not. She STOLE the card. She didn't tell him, and just went and bought some thing. I am legit shocked at all the people who are justifying this behavior. So I take it, if I live with a person, their stuff is mine. So they won't mind if I take their ps5 for a day. No. Its still stealing since she had no permission.

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

Story #4, I was just like 👏 “you tell her!!” I once found out a guy I was dating had another girlfriend while he was dating me. You know what I did? Walked the F away from that nonsense. Also now that mistress has to live with the suspicion that he might cheat on her somewhere down the road as well. After all, he cheated on someone for her, why wouldn’t he do it again? NTA.

[@n7hughesgaming223]

Story 1: Honestly I think she was testing the waters to see if she could get away with taking his credit and using it without his permission again. First time she does it she does something nice for him. But what would stop her from taking it again and buying overly expensive stuff for herself from that point onwards if op had said that it was fine?

[@sophiescott143]

Story 2: I love how he's claiming that OP is refusing to compromise and being abelist...when he's the one demanding things are exactly his way and nothing less. There's trying to accommodate, and there's being walked all over. NTA

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

Story One: NTA if she had forgotten all she does is say "I really wanted to do this for you...but I forget my purse 😅 I'll do it for you another time or if you don't mind the spoilt suprise and lend me the money I'll do it and ping you the money back" I do wonder if the roles were reversed and the BF took the GF's purse without asking if so many people would be chastising the GF for being upset about it

[@sagesaria]

I'd be VERY curious to see how the judgements would change on story 1 if it was a man who took a woman's credit card without permission to buy her breakfast. Think about it a while. And the "this was an unnecessary escalation" response. He didn't fucking punch her, ffs! All he did was point out that she shouldn't have taken the card without asking!

[@fufufuaru]

If she wanted to surprise him and his pantry/fridge was lacking she should have used her own money. Only 7 months and she's already using your card without permission. That's an easy out in that relationship. Gesture was nice, but the way she did it was wrong.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Hiya Mark! On a family “vacation” so imma be holed up in my room for the next few days. Thanks for giving me something to watch 💖

[@MarkNarrations]

Your welcome mate, wishing you the best

[@damien678]

your excitement to see if it's a nightmare neighbour story is such a MOOD lol

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 3: Mistress is 100% guilty party and at fault for breaking up a family. The husband is equally 100% at fault. Mistresses DO NOT GET A PASS!!! 1/2 your friends are bad at relationship math!

[@adriennet.3872]

So, here's my thing with the first story. She thought it would be a nice gesture to make him breakfast with HIS money and they've only been dating for 7 months? Yeah no, NTA

[@SorenPenrose]

See, i'd love the gesture for a lot of reasons (including now I've got some groceries so that saves me a trip to the store). Despite that, I still vote NtA because she did take his money wihtout permission.

[@theresapaine7224]

I don't agree with that- 1.) seven months is a long time for some people, my dad proposed to my mom after 2 WEEKS of dating, and they are still in a happy marriage to this day. 2.) At the end of the post, she gave OP back his money, she was just wanted to be nice, but forgot her own money 3.) She did OP a favor by not only cooking for him, but also buy groceries for him which he would have had to buy sooner or later down the road, she just saved him some time-

[@AnymousScreams]

@@theresapaine7224 Nah. Consent is more than intimacy. Consent is if she could take HIS card to buy something. He was right to call her out. This is why my cards needs ID first.

[@darkshadow5581]

Also, maybe its just me, but it doesn't even come across as "she was trying to do something good" If you buy me a gift with my money, it's not a gift, it's forcing me to buy something. He bought the groceries, so it comes off more as OP buying breakfast with extra steps.

[@chahun848]

@@theresapaine7224 you have many yeats to spend, decades, 7 years of relationship is nothing. You're dad proposing, indicates they were at the point and had conversations of being together in the future there for they'll share

[@jadedflames2809]

1: It's not a nice gesture for someone if you use their own money. Basic life etiquette: if the discussion of money isn't spoken in terms of permission, no touchy touchy! Also, groceries can be expensive. Yes, I don't wanna call the gf an asshole, I really don't because it's so sweet, but she used something that isn't hers. That's like giving someone a present using their own money instead of yours. Yes, there is a better way of handling it, but OP is not in the wrong. I wonder how it'll be if the roles were reversed. 2: Good Job on OP to call out gas lighting. Most people hesitate to call it what it is for many reasons and the roommate saw that accommodations equal total control. I get not being able yo get a diagnosis, but he's taking the piss on the cat one 3: That cheeky bastard. OP did nothing wrong. Maybe don't give the dog to a place where dogs can get adopted??? 4: OP is a friend I wouldn't want to lose or mess with. Total NTA

[@jameslyons6655]

Switch the genders on the first story and there would be a hell storm. They’ve been dating a few months, that’s nothing. The fact that she feels comfortable enough to use his credit card without asking and entitled enough to get upset with him when he has an objection is a red flag. Why she gets a pass for “trying to do something nice for him” (I believe she was going to eat breakfast too) is beyond me. She encroached, he tried to establish a reasonable boundary, and then she threw a fit. GTFO.

[@HackiePuffs]

Story 1: NTA. Good intentions don’t excuse bad actions. I get she wanted to surprise you but the number one rule when dealing with anyone’s stuff that isn’t your own is you ask before you do.

[@songohan3321]

I am just scratching my head at all of these YTA people. She doesn't know his financial situation. Also a lot of places ask for Identification for this very reason. It is not about doing something nice. What if the gender roles were reversed. Would those YTA commenters have the same opinion? Clearly they have not advanced to this point of the relationship if this story is on Reddit.

[@HackiePuffs]

@@songohan3321 I remember one story about OP’s brother who had an ex girlfriend and she broke into her house to give him a cake for his birthday and her parents were convinced she shouldn’t face the consequences because “she was trying to do something nice”. Wonder what the YTA commenters thought of that story. If the genders were reversed I guarantee they would be screaming “RED FLAG HE STOLE FROM YOU LEAVE HIM!!!”

[@Hanzo1]

@@HackiePuffs typical redditor mindset lmao

[@Hanzo1]

I painted your entire house pink with supplies I bought from your credit card I swiped from your wallet uwu. you're welcome.

[@huinismith]

Story 1: I am flabbergasted at how easy is to use someone else's card in some places. If you try something like that in my country, you'll have the police called on you before you can say... "Waffle". And don't get me started on opening a bank account or taking a loan on someone else's name. All of them are considered theft, fraud, identity theft, and/or something of the sort.

[@judyjohnson9610]

@Melody Ackerman They don't even look. That's why I don't enable the 'tap' function on my cards.

[@huinismith]

@@judyjohnson9610 "No ID card matching the name on the credit/debit card? Cash only or GTFO". That's how it works here. IIRC, if the card got reported, the store won't get paid and the amount will be taken from the employee's paycheck.

[@fufufuaru]

yeah I’m surprised too bec here in my country, they often ask for IDs, and then purchases higher than 10$ need signature

[@judyjohnson9610]

@@huinismith Interesting. I live in Canada and our cards have a 'tap' feature. You just tap on the machine and off you go. I don't like the tap. And they never ask for ID. No time for that

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 4 hard NTA! The nerve of them to cheat and think they'd get an invite to Thanksgiving. Honey, no

[@deviantartest]

Per-mission permission. She didn’t have his permission. She stole from him. I do think he should apologize, and she should too.

[@omnipossum92]

Story 1: So he called a thief a thief? What about her feelings? /s Story 3: She thought the shelter would held onto the dog? You know who would have held onto the dog? A fucking kennel!

[@hlcooper]

The first story definitely NTA - she used HIS CC to surprise him with groceries and breakfast. its not a gift/surprise for someone if the one paying for it is the receiver and not the giver. Not cool they have only been dating 7 months and that's a bold move. what if his CC was almost in overdraft or she went into overdraft to pay for the food - she doesn't know the state of his accounts - hell she didn't even ask if it was OK (even if it meant waking him up and spoiling the surprise). in the time it took to go to the supermarket, buy the groceries and make the breakfast she could have gone home, got her own wallet and then did her surprise meal

[@friendbright5375]

Story 1: How can ANYONE say he's the AH??? Let's strip this story down to it's bare essentials: His partner of less than a year stole his card, money, and identity to buy something for him. When he tried to establish a boundary and say that wasn't okay, she cried and stormed out. It doesn't matter how little it cost or what she wanted to buy, she was the AH in SO many ways, shapes, and forms

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: NTA. What happens if OP wasn’t ok with using the credit card on anything but what he set up the card for? What if it was for budgeting? A simple charge could destroy it especially if the owner of the card didn’t get consent for. It may be a kind gesture, but she should have asked to use his card. Such as “hey, I need something less than X amount of money and left my card at my place may I use yours and I’ll pay you back” still keeps the surprise a surprise

[@Eirilyn]

She woke up, pawed through his wallet, took his credit card and left his house and spent money she didn't know he had to buy a 'present' for him. That requires several poor decisions on her part.

[@Val_Benko]

For story 1, NTA. Something that really jumped out at me was that the girlfriend didn't immediately let OP know that she used his card and promise to pay him back (or even already sent him the money). The fact that she didn't tell him about using his card until after he asked is concerning. That info seems a wee bit too important to ignore.

[@beave200]

Dude 7 months is not long enough to be taking a card without permission, she had no clue if he could afford that breakfast. This was a power move to see what she can get away with. Its a red flag feeler and a tell tale sign of a possible abuser in the future. I've lived this enough to say it from experience.

[@animemagic]

Story 1: NTA. While it is nice that she made him breakfast, it is not alright to take your partner's money/ credit card without asking first, especially when you do not know if and how taking the money / credit card will affect your partner.

[@ChefDuJour78]

I am autistic and I don’t expect the world to bend to my will. My quirks are for me to navigate without making them someone else’s problem.

[@DemonAngel]

S1- ... Why couldn't she use her own money to make the surprise??? Like that seems a little shady to me. Like she just expected him to be okay with it and be happy. Yeah. He liked the suprise. But she used his money

[@start1012]

it says she forget her purse at home and would have paid back later

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1-NTA I don't get the people going ESH or YTA she didn't have the permission to use his card and didn't know if op had already hit his limit or didn't use that card for groceries. You never touch anyone’s money unless explicitly told that you can.

[@atex6175]

Story 4 why would op want to be friends with a woman who clearly has no issues with banging a married man? That's just inviting trouble into your life

[@peggyseabrun4829]

Story 1 in some countries it's a crime to use another person's credit /debit card even with their consent

[@AutumnLeafdust]

So I know immediate judgements is a bad idea but S1 already screams "how the FUCK do you think youre the AH?!" I'll give a proper verdict in a reply, for now, hopefully eveyone's day is going well!

[@AutumnLeafdust]

NEVERMIND OP GETS A HARD NTA FROM THAT, HES RIGHT, SHE STOLE FROM HIM REGARDLESS, BAH

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks Autumn, look forward to it.

[@AutumnLeafdust]

@@MarkNarrations barring the fact im losing my mind in the video discussion chat in the discord and dealing with allergies for a week now, it's been alright so far, heh ^^;

[@chrisa.k.1531]

I do believe that the couples Mark was mentioning during the comments of the story had a certain understanding about using the other SO’s card. That would mean there was established consent in perpetuity or until either revoked it. In the case of the story there wasn’t that form of consent and he was correct into calling it out as it is: stealing.

[@FanFicnic]

I would flip out if an SO took my credit or debit card without asking. I think that is SUCH a humongous and obvious boundary. I would be APPALLED if someone did that to me. She and the comments are all completely insane.😊

[@maxamillion26093]

As someone who’s volunteered at a animal shelter, shelters are not babysitting services for your pets! DO NOT TREAT THEM AS SUCH!

[@SS-te4hs]

Can you imagine how many people would be yelling “red flag!” If op had taken his girlfriend’s credit card and bought something for her house as a surprise? Besides, since when do people pay for their own surprises. Not only is op NTS but her reaction was telling. Her correct response should have been an apology and repayment as soon as possible.

[@maxdudomite]

Story 1: It is a wonderful surprise to find out she’s got little to no respect for the OP by using his CC without asking. Imagine getting married with someone like that. He better dump her for it.

[@FrancisR420]

Can you even imagine getting married to someone who shares finances with you. Talk about red flags

[@maxdudomite]

@@FrancisR420 Ever heard of joint account? Whatever is in your personal account shouldn't be touched by anyone, especially without consent.

[@missm.e9914]

I would not be at all cool about it if someone used my card without permission, not just because I'm short of money but my family taught me to be very guarded about my purse, cash, cards ect so I think finding out that someone felt they could just take it while I'm sleeping would make me really uncomfortable, I mean what if op woke up sooner and needed his card for something? she would look like she had stolen it since both her and it were jut gone.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you remember to take care of yourself gosh darn it, you are always valid, and I love you and care about you so please take care of yourself 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@hack117]

Story 1: so let me get this straight....as long as you have good intentions and put effort into it it's ok to steal? Cool next time I rob a bank I'll do so with the intent to donate to charity Story 2: The roommate doesn't have autism germ sensitivity isnt a thing maybe he has OCD but it's not autism

[@paulchaudoir190]

I think you would love my neighborhood. You described it perfectly.

[@peelthismonkey]

Story 1 - When u use some 1's property without asking them, it's bad. But when you take Money from some 1's Wallet and use it without asking them. Even if u were gonna pay them back. Cash or Credit Card. it's still Theft cause u never asked to use it nor take it or borrow it. NTA, but she is.

[@orcatheartist9928]

Story 1: NTA. She took his card with out asking him who knows what she could of done!? Like come on. It doesn't matter if she made him a nice breakfast or even done something nice. She took his card.

[@JLee-gm6jx]

She could've woken him up and asked permission

[@SS-te4hs]

Last story: OP IS A ROCKSTAR! Anyone who tells her that she was wrong can eat dog poop. Op didn’t seek out the neighbor’s AP, OP was ambushed. Was OP suppose to tell the AP that she could come but her friend’s soon to be ex still can’t. 😂😂

[@amandadeziraearagon2950]

I made a fire pit out of mud bricks and made a fire, then I breaded some chicken and now I'm frying it over the flames while I watch the moon go by. I love listening to your videos Mark!! They are the cherry atop my nightly sundae 😋❤️

[@badkitty4922]

WOW! The stories just FLEW by, today! Thanks Mark! Much Love!❤❤😘😘👍👍 Much Love, Waffle Gang!❤❤😘😘👍👍🙏🙏👏👏👏

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Story 1: NTA That's my grocery money I'd be using to pay back the amount she added to my credit card or I'd be overdrawn from my bank account and have my credit damaged. Either that or she would have literally left me without food because of her selfishness. I had a strict budget in place to AVOID going into debt and she would have sent me either straight into debt or needing food parcels to survive until I paid the extra expense because she felt entitled to my money for HER gratification - not mine. She only paid him back in anger when she was confronted about her theft so she clearly had no intention of paying back the money she stole. She may as well have grabbed money from his wallet while he slept - it's theft regardless of intent. (I stopped using credit cards years ago, but I'm using my actual past as reference).

[@theconfusedvampire]

Good morning again, Mark! Y'all are valid lovely people! Remember to treat yourself well and eat some waffles! 🥰

[@MarkNarrations]

Thanks so much Vampire, get those waffles :)

[@susiek2434]

Definate NTAH. WHO in their right mind takes someone else's credit card & uses it without permission? She stole from you and preparing a meal for you with money she stole from you is not doing something nice for you. Her intention was to feel how far she could push you for money. Dump her or be prepared for bigger issues in the future.

[@connorburnett21]

story 1: NTA//you use my credit card on anything without my permission, you are gone. no questions asked. she is a thief

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: NTA I was diagnosed as an adult with autism and it was very expensive even with killer insurance. Nothing changes when you are diagnosed other than you now know there are more therapists and programs that are specifically for people with autism that can help you more comfortably exist in a world of triggers. He is the same person as he was before but now he has a disability that he seems to be weaponizing against OP. I thought things were going to change for me in a huge way with my diagnosis, instead I realized that I can only change myself and my actions but not the actions of others. I use noise canceling headphones and wear sunglasses inside instead of ordering a gas station employee to turn down the music and to shut off all of the big florescent lights. OP's roommate could look away when OP interacts with the cat and if the noise gets to him he could put on some noise canceling headphones. OP seems like a stellar roommate who caters to their roommate's issues plenty more than I would expect them to. The only rule I asked my last roommate to follow was give me a heads up before he vacuumed or blended anything so I had time to get my headphones on.

[@shikuthetempest]

Story 1: I'm sorry, but if you need to be TOLD not to take someone's credit card and use it without their permission, you deserve to be called a thief. That is basic common sense.

[@JSainte17]

I would never plan a surprise breakfast for my bf of 7 months and use his card while sleeping to get the food. Who goes anywhere without their wallet, especially a girl with a purse staying over at her boyfriends?

[@yandereskitty]

Recovering from a bad stomach bug, so happy I'm on the mend.

[@Forced2DoThis1]

1st OP: NTA. It was a surprise! SHE surprised him. His comment wasn't said in spite. It wasn't and escalation. She could've screwed up his finances by doing this w/o asking! She crossed a line. 2nd OP: NTA. It's YOUR CAT!!! He doesn't NEED to kiss his OPs CAT! 3rd OP: NTA. She asked for a favor....The possibility of "NO" is part of that equation. Not your monkey not your circus! 4th OP: NTA. Your house your choice. You're NOT obligation to form relationships with people you don't want to.

[@LesterXSasuke]

The first story I can assume the YTA are all from women. This is pissing me off. Majorly. I'm a women and I know better then to use someone's else money to surprised them with food. Like ex: take their card to buy them a car or present for their birthday.

[@achocot]

your comment is misogynist and full of assumptions.

[@LesterXSasuke]

@@achocot this is what's wrong with the world. When making a statement and a point on about us women is misogynist. Get your entitled head off the internet.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@LesterXSasuke - I'm gay but please marry me, your shiny spine is very impressive.

[@zoe9190]

I would have been pissed if someone used my card without permission, regardless of why. I also dont agree with her intent, why couldnt she have used her own money to buy the groceries. I wouldnt want to be with someone who was that cavalier with someone elses money, especially when they are only just over the 6 month mark.

[@eliability]

Story 1, NTA. Even my parents ask each other before using the other’s card and they’ve been together for _9 years._ It’s not fun to have your stuff, especially money, taken without consent. The biggest issue in my parents relationship is that _my mom keeps taking my dad’s stuff without asking._ For all we know OP’s girlfriend is extremely irresponsible, like my mom. My dad won’t say my mom is irresponsible but i know for sure she is. People saying OP is TA are trying to excuse this but it’d more than likely be a repeat offense.

[@kimmieevans3598]

Wow she stole a whole family and the happiness that was that families

[@areyoufauxreal26]

1st story: wth is wrong with most of the commenters? OP is NOT TA. People are saying “he could’ve been nicer” but his gf literally stole from him! Calling her a thief is NOT an overreaction, she’s literally a thief! OP was sleeping when she took his card ffs. And there was no indication whatsoever that she would’ve paid him back. This behaviour is a red flag for future financial abuse. My god I can’t believe people can’t understand this.

[@fox9t18]

The first story is such an obvious NTA, why are so many people saying otherwise? I'm personally fine with people borrowing my money without asking, but I think I'm weird for that

[@MarkNarrations]

Kind of my thoughts on that one, I came out of it like? What? Would I be wrong about being upset about someone using MY card?!

[@taylorwashington7682]

I already knew reddit response after reading the first paragraph. People will focus on one detail and run with it. "She was being nice so who cares if she steals."

[@Mewse1203]

I know! I was so flabbergasted by that. "You overreacted and all you had to do was calmly set the boundary" lol, what? That boundary has been set for us since the moment we could understand words: you don't take other people's stuff without permission. It doesn't matter that she did it to make him breakfast. She had no regard for his budget, or Amy knowledge of that card's ability to handle her purchase. Also, since when is taking someone's money to give them a gift "something nice"? How many stories have we read where they used another person's money to get them jewelry? "bUt tHeY were jUsT tRyInG tO dO sOmeThINg nIcE"

[@carolroberts4614]

With you all the way on this one.!

[@hyperplaguerat]

I'm surprised anyone called OP an asshole for telling his gf she stole from him after she... stole from him

[@persephoneszeliga]

Story 1: YTA. How much did she spend? $30? She didn’t have her wallet with her. It certainly wasn’t stealing if she’s his girlfriend. It’s not like she spent $200 He’s stupid

[@Kris-zy7is]

1st OP was spot on, she is a THIEF! It seems like she was testing the waters to see his reaction. I would have dumped her then & there & gave her a time limit to pay me back. They don’t live together & she doesn’t know his finances.

[@chenanigans2cents931]

Story 1 NTA. 7 months is waaaay too early to assume unrestricted access to someone else's money. I've been with my bf for almost 2 years and wouldn't feel comfortable doing that even though he's given me his card on several occasions to run an errand.

[@cats1900]

I would be very upset if anyone took and used my credit card without asking. It would be a relationship breaker.

[@jennifersilves4195]

Someone who will take your money without asking won't stop because you ask them not to steal from you. I would break up over this.

[@mikaq19]

Story one. I’m amazed no one mentioned how inappropriate it is if that card was also in his wallet. I mean how many women would be ok with their boyfriend rifling through their purse? It’s a violation of personal property.

[@Roedygr]

CAT : if the cat is yours and he worries it is contaminated, tell him to stop kissing your cat or to get his own. If he decides to leave he will have a heck of a time finding a roommate as accommodating as you.

[@s.d.berard7518]

Goody!! At work and needed this SO BAD!! Thank you Mark and you amazing people! Please DO take care of yourself!! 💚😺 Story 1- NTA 100% that is stealing!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey SD, work not great today or nothing going on?

[@s.d.berard7518]

@@MarkNarrations just very tired after 2 days of 13 hours all starting early!! LOL Always great to hear your videos and my son loves them too! 🧇💚😺

[@Dira7411]

Story 1: Welp she know not to do that again.

[@SIXPACFISH]

Story 1. How do you know 100% of the time that a woman was caught doing something wrong??? She starts crying and then tries to turn her wrong around onto you. Every damn time! Don't let those crocodile tears fool you guys! You didn't hurt her "feelings", women only have feelings to use them against you. If she will steal from you now, how much worse will she steal after she cons a ring out of you?

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Me and my husband have been together for nearly 8 years, and we keep our finances separate. I AM horrible with money, and we both know it. Giving me access to over 10 grand is insane when I can't even maintain $5K. Boundaries are healthy, and communication is key in a relationship.

[@adrianaaab436]

Nahhh NTA for the first story. I’d be pretty upset if someone felt entitled to my money and used my credit card without my permission. That’s fraud. She didn’t know his budget or if he even had enough money on the card to spend. If she was so adamant about using his card she could have asked for permission first. I work for a kids website and we get a few calls of parents that their kids use their card to sign up for our website without the parents consent. The bank still considers this fraud even though it’s the parent’s kids who sign up. If someone takes your card and uses it without your permission that is fraud even if you know the person.