r/AmITheA**Hole For Not Stopping My Daughter, Letting Her "Humiliate" Her Uncle?

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#AITA #Family #Parenting

[@VaBeachBeach2971]

“Nows there rumors going around that his wife and daughter are being suppressed and abused”. They ARE being suppressed and abused. The daughter wanted to become a mechanic and her father suppressed her ability to do so thus abusing her. Duh!

[@xxcharlieriverxx514]

Lll lll I’m o olwweee w

[@DemonicAngle15]

This, I'm sitting here thinking 'your niece is being told what she can do with her life and not allowed to presue a passion, you're all ok with it? And what to know if your an asshole?'

[@coralrose5754]

Exactly

[@alyonaf1054]

Also "the boys did not turn out like the father". I am sorry, how do you know that? You will only find out when they themselves get married and have kids. They are too young now to judge their character And something tells me they will subconsciously take some leaves out of their father's book. Whether they want it or not.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@alyonaf1054 I don’t get it. How did the commenters gloss over the fact that Op casually mentions SIL and fam might be being abused as part of the fallout? This aita is more serious than just some sexist ahole.

[@edkrach8891]

Story 1 NTA Kudos to the daughter for telling it like it is. Uncle should've been called out a long time ago. Sad that a 13 year old was the only one with a backbone to call it what it is.

[@susankaempfer8427]

I want to fucking hug the daughter.

[@jakeand9020]

Story 1: Sh*t that never happened, I honestly expected the whole room to applaud in that BS story.

[@chetarisin3035]

Sadly, sil and her kids ARE being abused. Even if it's not physical... Verbal abuse is still very much a thing

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

And emotional the daughter was denied a educational path and possibly entire career path she wanted to take because it was "too manly for her"

[@Shyrden1]

Yeah and restricting the daughter from working on cars because somehow that makes her less of a lady…just eww lol. I hope that kid goes to collage far away - a good trade school maybe, for mechanics! 😂

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Emotional as well

[@cherylwolf7458]

Husband knew wife was preparing a special meal with wine for the 2 of them. Husband should not even have asked if his friend could stop over! But she sweetly said it would be fine to include friend in this romantic meal, since she had enough food. Hubby was acting like he was at the bar eating with his buddies. NTA. Sometimes men are thick-headed and needs you to tell him how he hurt your feelings, so he doesn't do it again.

[@susanyoung5447]

As for the landlord problem, I think that people are neglecting to notice one thing. The landlord NEVER refused to service the appliances. He only requires that the dog not be present. The tenant refuses to do so. The tenant is being unreasonable. Trying to force the landlord to pay for work that he is licensed for and does for a living (which means he is a professional) should not be allowed. The tenant is definitely the AH. If the tenant refuses this totally allowable requirement, then the tenant should have to pay to have another professional without any requirements to come and fix it. The landlord is NTA. As for sister who lives in sister's house. She has problem with quiet needs. Go to hotel if she needs quiet.

[@annettestokes7059]

Totally agree with you

[@katieb.1184]

same. and a lot of companies coming in have pet clauses, too.

[@marybarnes6407]

Have a friend or family member watch the dog for a day or 2 boom problem solved. Nta but the tenants are for 1) bringing a dog when the landlord said no pets 2) demand they fix something but not safety remove the dog so things to fix things.

[@fishbowl5308]

Here's the thing the refusal to hire someone or to do it, no matter how unreasonable and assholish the tenants are is a bad move. It's literally ops job as a landlord and places that are very tenant friendly could wring him dry.

[@maryguokas8018]

The people who were saying just pay for a contractor may not understand that a difference of time vs paying someone $120 an hour may mean they can't pay the loan on the building. Especially if there are multiple repairs. Just means the people in the apartment will have surprised Pikachu face when their lease isn't renewed.

[@lunahix4815]

The daughter in the first story is a boss.

[@musamaka9848]

Right I would have high fived her for those burns

[@zacharylacore2905]

I very much doubt it's a real story, but I hope it is

[@Incarosster]

@@zacharylacore2905 Honestly from the 13 year old girls I've known, (related to them, mostly. Nieces or cousins) I wouldn't be surprised by them saying something like that. Epically if they are active on social media. Besides, many 13 year-olds get backtalky like that when they turn 13. Part of the whole teenage thing.

[@katwiltz1134]

...and we all laughed after she told a joke of her own

[@coralrose5754]

@@Incarosster 13 year olds are ruthless lmao

[@missliz3043]

He was rude for not tasting the food before putting hot sauce, as for the beer yes beer is a fine choice, she was miffed that they drank 2 beers, letting the food get cold, then doused the food in hot sauce and scarfed it down. She spent hours on it and wanted to see how they liked her signature dish, not see 2 men act like frat boys, cussing at the dinner table and losing all table manners.

[@nilianstroy]

I had salt and chili sauce to every food i eat, including every food i cook, also i never ever taste my food before serving it...

[@justinburgard4700]

There is nothing wrong with salting your food or adding condiments before tasting them... What's next your gonna call me rude for putting ketchup on my burger or fries without tasting it first?

[@ianmitchell3725]

cook the husband hot dogs . cook the Alfredo for yourself . drink the wine , leave the beer to him.

[@Stormangel2779]

I like it. Although depending if he drowns everything in hot sauce I might go a little more petty. Give him a bowl of hot sauce and a beer tell him to enjoy. Then hand him the hot sauce bottle in case he needs some for flavor.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@Stormangel2779 personally if it was me I'd start lacing/"enhancing" random dishes I made him inconsistently to make him taste the food before he commits to eating it (Like make his dish full of chilli pepper/off cheese(or milk) nothing dangerous just unpleasant) to teach him propper manners

[@Stormangel2779]

@@shadowrosegaming3566 I love it. Literally was a step away of serving a bowl of yellow mustard covered with garlic salt to my ex because he refused to try anything before covering it in one or the other.

[@angelicakaufman7183]

It's rude to not try someone's food before you completely bathe it and hot sauce and she has every right to look down on the beer when this whole situation she had planned for herself has been completely high jacked at this point

[@LightSage89]

The first story, everyone sucks here except the daughter. The BIL for obvious reasons, and OP for allowing it to go for so long. She tries to justify not confronting him by saying it doesnt work. And then in the story she tells of her daughter confronting the uncle, he got pissed and walked away for the rest of the gathering. Seems like it worked to me.

[@shadizersilverhand2113]

Yes, he sounds like someone from the 1850s with that 'get your women under control' garbage, he totally deserves to be shut down hard every time he mouths off and it's astounding he even has a wife because she must not have much self-respect if any to let someone like that run her life.

[@cult_of_odin]

@@shadizersilverhand2113 wow. So because the wife doesn't act the way you think she should there must be something wrong with her? Much feminism huh? A lot of women like what you would call "patriarchal gender roles".

[@shadizersilverhand2113]

@@cult_of_odin yep, there must be something wrong with her to tolerate that kind of garbage.

[@literallycringeidk360]

@@cult_of_odin There IS something wrong with her if she allow her husband to force sexist gender roles on her own children. He won’t even let his daughter try to work at her dream job because it’s too masculine.

[@angelabailey8130]

@@cult_of_odin obviously. Her husband is an ass who talks down to women. She can’t have a lot of self-respect to stay with someone like that

[@londeahji9663]

Story 1: Just getting up & leaving isn't going to solve the problem if you don't say out loud the reason why you're leaving. You're still whimping out.

[@BankruptMonkey]

The dog lady is such a karen, being all entitled demanding you last minute let a dog in then having a meltdown when you ask it doesn't happen again in the future. I hate entitled dog owners, they give other dog people a bad name and make dogs get banned from more places.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

Imagine an entitled dog owner doing that with a little dog and the persons house has a big dog that's fine with people but highly aggressive to other dogs that dog owner will be dogless in seconds to minutes

[@brandonshelp4682]

"Why is it that the offspring of the affair get off scott free..." holy crap. That person needs some therapy. A child should never ever be vilified for the circumstances of their birth. What a monster.

[@EweOlive]

You're missing half of the sentiment, it's not that the affair child is getting off Scott free the question is why *that* entity is treated with so much empathy but the children of the now broken family are supposed to just accept it and be "bigger people" and are being expected to readily accept that other person/s' presence.

[@fishbowl5308]

Look the child shouldn't be vilified but also the circumstances can't be ignored. Those kids never bonded with the child because she was the reminder of the family breaking apart. Kinda like when someone is lied to and forced to raise an affair baby. It's not the baby's fault but also completely unreasonable to expect the betrayed parent to still want to raise the baby.

[@alyonaf1054]

@@fishbowl5308 uh-uh, you're wrong in the last part. If we're talking about someone who's already raised the child and made a bond with them (meaning it's not a child under 1 year old who would remember you), turning 180° is abuse. You're treating them like they're an imposter when it's the same person who has no fault in anything that's been going on. The imposter is the spouse who pretended to be a loyal loving partner while going behind your back. NOT the child. The imposter is you, because you've never been the father and never loved the kid for who he was. You have relantionship? It IS your child. Whether you like it or not. So the way you treat them afterwards is ON YOU. Not your partner or the child. It's about your own character here. Nothing justifies hurting your kid out of malice and wanting a revenge. You're just efing this kid up for life and it's on you. The kid will grow up thinking he is not worthy of love. The kid is an unfortunate victim of 2 sh*tty parents in this situation, each in their own way. It's not like "yeah, the cheater is bad, but the father understandably abandoned his child, no questions asked". They are both horrible people for what they've done to that child.

[@msredux]

I love dogs, but if you are planning on bringing one to my party, you better let me know

[@Stormangel2779]

Agreed. You don't ask at the door if it's cool because that puts pressure on the host to agree

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@Stormangel2779 if it was me hosting and someone showed with their dog at the door asking if it be cool I'd actually say no you didn't ask in advance so take the dog home

[@Stormangel2779]

@@shadowrosegaming3566 exactly plus it's a matter of respect. You don't just behave like you're in your home when you visit someone you also don't bring uninvited guests

[@GoCoyote]

For the OP asked to deliver a package internationally: She could have taken the package, and then opened it later. If nothing bad inside, then return to friend and tell her to post it. If something bad, then return to the past friend.

[@katieb.1184]

that tenant with a dog... I'm a homeowner and plenty service contracts have a clause in them about pets. when we had our modem replaced, the pre-appointment call included a question about animals and if they'll be secured. I was like "my cats will be hiding, but they can be locked in a bathroom if you need it."

[@jazzamethyst8225]

I always ask people if they’re comfortable with me bringing my kid over, especially if they have none of their own. I love my son but I’m also easily distracted and don’t get a lot of adult interaction. I realize there’s a high chance that my kid might break something or make a mess. I always make a point to clean up after him before we leave but it’s up to the host to decide if that’s a risk they’re willing to accept if I can’t find other accommodations.

[@Manhandle730]

Kids and dogs are not even close to similar.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@Manhandle730 depends on the dog

[@jenih3815]

At the kids table one I can’t believe that no one mentioned that the aunt said OP didn’t have anything to contribute to the conversation

[@ruthhenderson5413]

We solved that problem by putting the grandparents and younger kids together at the kids' table [they all loved that], the middle-agers and twenty-somethings together at the other. If an aunt raised a ruckus, everyone would call her on that kind of b-s.

[@gothicanimegirl44]

My cousin's got married on the one year anniversary of my grandma's death. It was something we all were okay with because we knew that is exactly what grandma would want. All the people she loves together having fun and loving each other. I am sure that that father would still want his daughter to celebrate her birthday because her being happy is what he would have wanted.

[@ryntintynvin]

People come on...they got a dog when they knew they weren't supposed to, and now OP has to fork out money to hire someone else because they don't want to take their dog to the park for a couple hours while OP does the work? NTA easy, full stop.

[@slagathor]

If you have a security clearance, I would not take anything from even my best friends.

[@katieb.1184]

for the 13/14 yr olds... even my *twins* get alone time... we ensure twice a month they get a full day to themselves (my parents take one, we take the other, then switch who goes where for the other alone day in the month). ffs let kids be individuals. especially when they're literally begging for it

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP, NTA. It is great that your parents had 2 bio kids and the took in foster kids. My grandparent's had 9 bio kids and it was great cuz I have a huge extended family that I dont know what I would do without all their love. Kate is a total YTA because her opinion wasn't asked for and what she said was rude and she doesn't even know the people she was insulting. Foster children are siblings if they have been raised with you. She was being also nasty for saying your foster siblings arent real. If that is how she communicates I wouldn't want her at my wedding.

[@mariethedicedragon5977]

If I spent time making something that I'm excited about it, and my partner knows, he will at the very least try a bite regardless of how often I make that thing. He drenches almost everything in ketchup & cheese, so after the 1st time that I spent a lot of time making a sauce from scratch and he put half a block of cheese into it, I just let him know that I worked hard to make that taste good without that much cheese & was excited for this, can you at least take 1 bite before adding stuff? And since then he does that because I explained why I felt that way. What is the point of making pasta sauce from scratch if you just treat it like a can of sauce?

[@Stormangel2779]

Agreed. My current fiance tries a bite of everything I make even if it's something not in his comfort zone. Sometimes that is the only bite he eats of a dish but he tries it every time. He understands the work I put into making food. Also that I study cookbooks the same way I do my dnd manuals lol.

[@ginathecookie]

Note to self: if I ever get a partner let them know I have issues (sensory and senses) and can't ever try their cooking. Did not know that would be a problem. Thank you for bringing this to my attention(That I will need to communicate that).

[@Stormangel2779]

@@ginathecookie Oh no if you get a considerate partner and communicate your sensory issues they hopefully would keep that in mind when cooking. I have a coworker who can't eat pasta, because the texture is just one her no no textures. So I make sure if I'm bring a dish to share that it's not a pasta dish. Good communication is always important in every relationship. I know the right person will be respectful of your needs.

[@mariethedicedragon5977]

@@ginathecookie that's different though. There is a difference between something that is a necessity (respecting your sensory issues) and seasoning something without tasting it. Like, if I salt food when I'm cooking it, you should taste it before adding more salt.

[@naruto456431]

I let everyone who offers to cook for me know I’m sensitive to dairy and gluten and have IBS so I need to have meals without garlic and onion I’m always polite but holy shit if someone’s just gonna disrespect your food with hot sauce without asking about or taking one bite of it I’ll be pretty upset too Alfredo is a creamy dish it’s not supposed to have hot sauce in it if an Italian saw that I’d like to think they’d dress them down hardcore for it

[@kristinwiebold2433]

STORY 2 I dont think OP is totally wrong to want his wife to get a different job where she isn't drinking with her male coworkers and.boss til 4 am. Though I am glad she told OP what boss did, she being out til 4 AM shouldnt be a thing. I think any partner, male or female wouldn't truly like the drinking all night/morning. If anything it is dangerous.

[@ciciriddick]

I can't help but feel like of the genders were reversed they would have judged it differently.

[@katieb.1184]

the package one: they literally ask you if anyone else packaged things with your luggage!!!

[@meadowsong8560]

OMG! The refrigerated olives! Still dying of curiosity. NTA. Don’t take packages internationally for other people when you don’t know what’s inside!

[@adrianparsons6683]

Laura story you're literally blaming a child for adult decisions. None of this was Laura's fault. your dad was the cheater. Laura's mom never made a promise not to sleep with him. dad promised not to sleep around. A lot of marriages don't survive cheating, it usually drags on with resentments. if not Laura's mom it would have been someone else.

[@alisterstafford]

Op says they have not blamed Laura since they were children she just doesn't want to go to the wedding because she cannot see Laura's mom she cannot deal with that which is completely fine and seeing it from this point of view is idiotic the siblings are very cordial with Laura but does not want to have a relationship which is completely Fair not going to the wedding because she knows she won't be able to deal with seeing her (Laura's mom) is the mature and responsible the only asshole is the dad

[@tinasmith3844]

For people saying the landlord should "just hire it out", let's say he does hire it out and the dog is there and bites the service tech. Who do you think is going to get sued? Not the tenanr/dog owner, it will be the property owner that ends up in court. The tenants need to remove the dog for the time that the service will take. It is better for everyone's safety. They can take the dog to a park, a doggy daycare, or to a friend's house. They need to be reasonable with the landlords request.

[@naturalPaths]

Re: party with Pomeranian.. The girlfriend was not the plus 1 - she was a plus 2! .. And an AH. “You are being disrespectful of my dog.” 😂 OP is Not the AH

[@letmepickmynameidiot4832]

Story 1 the op says that confronting him doesn't work but it sure worked when a 13 year old confronted him.

[@Twilight24682]

The daughter in the first story is an absolute savage I actually burst out laughing also YTA to the mother for trying to silence her for calling out his sexist behaviour the daughter is awesome

[@ruthhenderson5413]

And whaat a vocabulary!

[@narageaedeon7845]

So the one with the family with 9 kids I understand how they feel. I’ve had people remark on my large family and it sucks. My mom was on four different forms of birth control and had six kids before the doctors would tie her tubes. They were actively trying not to have more than three children and ended up having them anyway. Unfortunately I have the same problem as my mother. My first pregnancy to come full-term ended up with twins a boy and a girl. I decided that was all I wanted and actively tried not to have any more and ended up having two more and decided to just go with having my tubes tied because nothing I was doing was preventing it. To touch on the one with the dog. that was extremely rude of her to bring her dog over. I have a similar problem with my sister who brings her dog to everything including other peoples houses that have dogs. Including homes that have dogs with aggression and then she gets mad when the other dog attacks her dog

[@cult_of_odin]

I have 7 kids. The oldest is my wife's brother who we adopted when I was 3. I've never heard a snarky comments, but in my State large families were the norm until my parents generation so most older people had large families.

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

Jesus the dog thing I walk my brothers dog on occasion once I was walking her past someone's house who was dog sitting and the little mutt crawled through a hole in the gate to attack my brothers dog if the lady hadn't come out when she did I would have curbstomped the mutt

[@brendaduncan9436]

My mother had ten children and I thought the ones with one or two had something wiring with them. I would not have wanted any less brothers and sisters.

[@narageaedeon7845]

@@brendaduncan9436 their father already had four children when I met him. There are a total of eight children now. I also didn’t want more than one or two because he does very little to help take care of them. I realize that after my twins were born.

[@jhawkins4412]

LMAO CHILDREN have no filter and are ßo truthful! Good on your DAUGHTER. Maybe Uncle will get the hint, or not.

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Nta. It is extremely rude to so that to food served before even trying it. But dont stress next time hand them a plate of store bought mini tacos and enjoy your alfredo

[@theamazingj7007]

But she had made it before and the "special cheese" she bought wouldn't really indicate that it was any different. It shocks me that the internet is arguing that someone is morally in the wrong for putting hotsauce on food

[@Stormangel2779]

@@theamazingj7007 really why don't you eat a slice of yellow American and then a slice of cheddar and tell me they taste the same. Of you had been taught manners and etiquette you'd know it is an insult not to try a bite of food before adding something to it. Why are you so offended by the idea that proper etiquette says try 1 single bite of the dishes prepared for you before adding something? Although maybe the problem is no one is willing to cook for you so you have only had canned, boxed and frozen food all your life nothing homemade.

[@theamazingj7007]

@@Stormangel2779 I didn't say they tasted the same but that there'd be no indication that they where different until he tasted it melted cheese looks pretty similar across the board last I checked. I have had people cook for me and not once did they call into question me adding something to it before I take a bite especially when they have cooked it for me several times before and gave no indication that it would be different. But then again my friends aren't overly sensitive and starving for validation. As for the social etiquette argument to put it quite simply social etiquette isn't universal many places find different things rude and polite so if we took every breaking of social etiquette as an example of someone being an asshole no one would be NTA op even clarifies that her and her husband have different backgrounds and different standards of etiquette. It seems you're very emotional about this man daring to apply hotsauce to his food and me not seeing a problem with it I'm indicated this by all the judgment you seem to be throwing around I do want to warn you that rectal pain followed by bleeding should be followed up with a doctor since I can't see why any rational human being would be half as butthurt as you are over condiments

[@Stormangel2779]

@@theamazingj7007 then maybe it's a cultural difference because I was taught to try something before adding to it as proper etiquette and it's not you can't add condiments it's you need to try it before adding. It's about first being smart enough to know that you can't know how something actually tastes without trying. As for the OP she told him it was different so yes he knew it was different this time and should have tried a bite. It must also be a thing of your culture to make grotesque poorly attempted insults because you haven't the mental capacity to understand what another is saying.

[@theamazingj7007]

@@Stormangel2779 she did not tell him it was different I just reread the post she told him she was pumped to make it and if she is enthusiastic about cooking that wouldn't be out of the ordinary

[@RevWarRev]

Wedding Drama: OP's Dad created this issue when he cheated. Even were OP to forgive both Dad and AP donesn't mean OP and sibs would have to have either one in thier lives. Laura may be hurt, but the hurt isn't OP's fault. Totally on Dad.

[@Stormangel2779]

The Alfredo story. I'm sorry it is an insult to add anything to food before trying a bite. Nothing is exactly the same every time. Also many cooks will not tell you if they're putting in new ingredients it's not that hard to try a bite and then add something if you want more salt, pepper etc.

[@janinbeatris1172]

I 100% agree. And for me the biggest issue isn’t that he used hot sauce. My problem is that it didn’t seam like she reacted or anything when the friend was there, and when she is telling her SO her feelings were dismissed. Also I wouldn’t share the dish I splurged on ingredients if you’re gone douse it in hot sauce. I’ll rather eat the meal alone and have leftovers. I would feel that the more premium ingredients were a waste and that I just wasted my money.

[@Stormangel2779]

@@janinbeatris1172 Agreed. If he can't treat her right and be so dismissive in front of his buddy then is it even worth it. Personally would stop cooking for him and next time tell him the buddy and him can go pound sand.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

I've gotten to a point that I know how I've cooked something, and how it tastes before tasting, I add extra salt to my rice portion before eating because I cook it with lower salt then I like for my mom because she likes it with less salt. It is not a big deal for someone to add something on to food they're familiar with that they know they want it added on top.

[@Stormangel2779]

@@Splatoon_Kirby the problem being this was a new version of Alfredo so he didn't know how it tasted. Also if you cooked the rice then there is no one to insult because anyone who is going to cook and serve food that has brains knows you taste the food as you cook it. So naturally you know how it tastes. Which is also the point of try a bite of something you are served. My normal spaghetti sauce has a moderate amount of garlic but I know my S/O likes a lot of garlic and so when it's for him I add extra garlic. If it's for more than a few people I hold back the garlic and salt a bit because of people's dietary needs and tastes. So yes it is a big insult as well as idiocy to not taste something before adding to it.

[@sdragut]

first story. buy your daughter an ice-cream & say: I'm proud of you but don't tell your dad.

[@delilahbelle2125]

S1: I get that it wasn't the daughter's responsibility, but honestly, the uncle getting owned by a middle schooler when she compared him to her peers probably drove the point home harder than a grown woman calling him a middle schooler.

[@imajinallthepurple]

Late to the party but anyways... I was 14 when I was in a similar situation to the daughter who called out OP's sexist BIL. I'd had enough of my otherwise sweet and funny granddad's racist political comments. He loved provoking me on this subject because he knew he could. I then told my parents, who for the record don't share his beliefs either, that he had ONE chance going forward. If he ever tried bringing up politics with me again I would absolutely refuse to visit him and my grandma. I left it up to them how to convey the message as long as it was done in advance. During our next visit he still tried his luck but he barely got one sentence out on the matter before three adults shut him down so fast his world must've been spinning. He *never* tried that crap again and it left a lasting impression on me that my feelings were validated at such an early age. So yeah, the BIL should definitely be shut down ASAP and by the adults, not the kid. She *will* remember their reactions to her expressing her feelings.

[@cindiemoore2530]

I have a thought for the wife of the hoarder, he did not get rid of his hoard he simply moved it. He gets to keep his stuff and now has a new space to fill up. Be observant because he will go to great lengths to hide this until it is already out of hand. Exhausted wife and daughter in law of hoarders.

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. There should never be a rule where someone can insult you but you cannot insult back. While ignoring is the best option, if someone finds it fun to troll the troll, then set them loose.

[@KazumiKiguma]

In the story about the landlord, it's a very clear example of why not having the ability to kick out a tenant for violation of contract is stupid as hell.

[@Ann_Wall-Chiasson]

The sexist relative story: The daughter is a rock star. Though the fact that she's the only one to speak up is very disappointing.

[@n.a.nameless5435]

Dog at party: "someone had to leave early because of your dog, that's why it is not welcome" That should end that BS

[@kmbaldwin5325]

The renters with the dog are being ridiculous. How hard is it for one of the tenants to take the dog out for an hour, or however long the repair takes? A lot of companies who provide services in people’s homes will require any pets that aren’t kept in a kennel/aquarium/etc be put away or removed from the premises while the work person is there, for safety purposes. Tenants are making this more complicated than it needs to be. 🙄

[@dez135]

it can't be that hard to either take your dog out somewhere (plan a vet visit at the same time would be easy unless they don't do those either) or cage it in a different part of the house

[@Gregarious3]

What a BS law.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

@@Gregarious3 what law is BS? I didn’t mention any laws…

[@samakiraroyjanssen6326]

@@kmbaldwin5325 the ‘can’t say no pets’ law for landlords.

[@xoskeleto]

Why can't the dog be kept in a separate room to landlord ?????

[@annettestokes7059]

In England if you have a dog,you do have to remove the dog or lock it in another room when workmen ect come because of trauma or fear, the tenants are being the AH it’s not hard to do remove or put their dog in another room

[@margaretannfrank5480]

Yes Markee, I live in Ontario and it gets bloody hot and bloody cold!

[@oldwoman5942]

Every time we get repairmen the first thing they say is to make sure all pets are confined.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Why would ops hubby not allow a public call out? He’s humiliating others. Shaming narcs is the best way to shut them up

[@susanlosey9511]

OP, you should have a gathering and have a kids table. Then set your aunt and grandparents at the kids table. Tell them that since they acted like children they have to sit at the kids table.

[@kaykay8855]

Story 1: NTA. Your husband made you promise not to confront him in public, he said nothing about your daughter. ‘Respect your elders’ is code for ‘let me be an a*sshole to you.’ But I recommend you confront BIL despite what your husband thinks. Story 2: Op, your feelings are valid but unfortunately people will eat their food the anyway they want. So, NAH. Story 3: YTA. Your wife’s boss should be punished not your wife. Convince her, if she’s not already planning on it, to report this incident to HR. Story 4: you and your siblings are NTA for being angry at her father and his now wife. You simply removed yourself from a situation. This is your boundary, you developed a relationship with Laura and respect her enough not to put a damper on her wedding day.

[@theresaschuebel5151]

Never had a kids table at either my home, or my aunts home when I was a kid. My husband's family never had it either side of his as well.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Also, in the story with the sisters who hate each other - I literally cackled when the brother said OP couldn’t do that. Like, sir, OP can actually do whatever they want within reason, and this is definitely within reason.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

He got the tummy ache he deserved. WHO puts hot 🔥 sauce on ALFREDO SAUCE!!! (MILK CHEESE BUTTER AND HOT SAUCE DO NOT GO TOGETHER)

[@genesisplus4325]

Story 2 NTA, When chemists interview new coworkers a number one decision if how you eat your food, if you so much as sprinkle salt on your meal before you taste it, the interview is over. Handmade food is not just food in today's society, it is art, people put effort into cooking it and it would be like painting over the Mona Lisa and claiming that you've improved it.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Always encourage your daughters and sons to call out wrongs. Including sexism misogyny homophobia etc.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

28:06 they don’t hate Laura, they just want nothing to do with her - which is well within their right.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

Hubby the AH , he knew what dinner was Pasta and wine. I know what op felt like. My mother would have a FIT if you added salt and pepper or ANYTHING else without tasting to see IF you like it as plated BECAUSE she said "I ALREADY SEASONED IT. DON'T BE RUDE TASTE IT FIRST ", that's how I was raised

[@katie6731]

BIL has been treating the people around him as targets for his misogynistic harassment and abuse for years. There were at least five adults present for this round of BIL's filth. The adults should all be ashamed that it took a child to do what the adults should have years ago. Bravo to the thirteen-year-old for knowing what's right and for having the courage to stand up to her uncle in spite of the terrible example her elders set. The daughter handled it perfectly! It's *so frustrating* when a bigoted bully gets continuous, positive reinforcement because no one wants to suffer through the bully's inevitable tantrum when they are confronted.

[@katieb.1184]

who just brings a dog to a party??? no. just no. "hey, no bringing your dog without asking." Reasonable person: "sure, no problem" --- her: "you're being disrespectful." no. its disrespectful to bring a dog to a residence you don't own without warning. even if its a service dog, give a quick heads up the first time. What if the house has an animal that doesn't react well to the dog? what if the other people are allergic? and poms freaking SHED. so much. everytime I was near my grandma's pom I would have to lint roll EVERYTHING. my clothes before I washed them (I had to rewash an entire load because the fur is just long enough to cling instead of being washed away), and my car seat...

[@Vile0708]

The story about the couple with the collection consuming multiple rooms was interesting. If the husband realizes he's not addicted to the collection itself and just the idea of collecting, he should probably look at marketing some of that stuff because some old gaming stuff is worth some money. Maybe he'd have enough odds and ends to build an addition lol.

[@Fizwalker]

First story, your daughter is awesome!

[@summersands8105]

Ok folks...NEVER, EVER take a package in blind faith to deliver to anyone, CONUS or OCONUS. I will also take this so far as to say NEVER, EVER accept a package from someone on the street of ANY country where the person asks you to drop it to the mailbox or post office just down the road. YOU ARE BEING SET UP!!! It does happen and it happens more than you know. Say NO and move on. DO NOT touch the package. DO NOT touch the individual...just say NO and walk away.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. Even with trusted friends, you should never take a package that you have never seen the contends before. Reason is that once it comes with you, you are responsible for it and if it has something illegal you are in trouble. maybe fines and jailed depending on what it is. Your friend isn't a friend.

[@susanlosey9511]

Your ex’s kids are bullying Kia. Does he know that and allowing them to do that. Anyway you can get full custody of Kia? This is damaging to him. Good for you on taking him on the trip. NTA!

[@firetiger582]

Did anyone else notice how the wife who went out with her boss. If you pay attention it says she left the group to walk with her boss. But then op said that she stated she wouldn't drink alone with her boss anymore. (She drank with other co-workers and boss.... So something is def going on)

[@ciciriddick]

If I knew my landlord didnt want me to have a dog I wouldnt have gotten one. That's inconsiderate af. Also, asking for the dog to be moved only for the time he needs to be in the house to get it fixed is not an unreasonable request.

[@SymphoniaFly]

Jesus christ, that last one. What happens if that guy gets married? Will he expect his wife to drive to the grocery store to use their restroom instead of using the one in her own freaking house?

[@theresaschuebel5151]

The story about the husband dying in a car crash on his daughter's birthday. The OP was right thinking he would want his baby to celebrate her own birthday. John Ritter died on his younger daughter's 5th birthday too. I don't doubt that Amy doesn't celebrate their baby's birthday. My grandfather died on my second oldest neice's birthday, and my granny his wife died on my cousin's birthday. That doesn't mean Chris or Pamela don't deserve a birthday.

[@Reality_TV]

I HATE people who fault the affair child for ANYTHING! Mistreating that child is not OK! You've got a sibling! Period! You gain nothing by hating the affair child. The AFFAIR PARTNER DID NOT SPLIT THE FAMILY UP! THE FATHER DID! OMG! Why can't people ever place the blame on the person who deserve it? The woman may not even have known the father was married! The mother decided that Laura was a constant reminder and she didn't want to stay with the dad, BUT the father was the one who destroyed the family!

[@voiceofafreeamerica9854]

On the stay at home wife story: The mother was NTA. When there is no children, then a SAHP should do all the cooking and cleaning. SAHPs' job is to take care of the house while the work partners' is to go bust their ass to provide for the house. Both can be technically seen as full time jobs. However, if both are working partners, then chores should be split based off of hours worked. (For example, if one works 12 hours while the other works 4 hours, then the 4 hours partner should do the bulk of, if not all of, the work.) That said, when it comes to kids, all that flies out the window. Children are literally a second full time job that both parents sign up for by dropping their pants. No, this isn't saying that it's not fine for a working spouse to stop off on the way home to have 1 beer OR ask for the time to sit down and have 1 beer to unwind after work before stepping up to parent (either option, not both, to decompress the stress of work). However, both do deserve an evening off. For example, let's say I work M-f 9-5 in the factory and have a child with a theoretical SAHP. I'd want to take Saturday Nights with the boys, as i'd be coming home exhausted on Friday. That means Friday night could be Girl's night for her while i'd put the kid to bed. Of the day Saturday AND Sunday, i'd expect both of us to do the job of parenting all day, with one taking over the parenting while the other took care of chores like, for example, spouse soloing the kids while i'd be mowing or doing house maintenance while i'd solo the kids while Partner took care of meals or cleaning.

[@londeahji9663]

Landlord vs Dog: ESH. The landlord said he'd fix the furnace/ac if the tenants removed the dog temporarily so he could fix the ac. The tenants won't do that. Which makes them AHs. But the landlord is required to see to it that it's fixed. Since he has trauma regarding dogs, he should go on & pay for someone else to do the work.

[@sandraskellen3172]

Exactly why is he looking through the trash, she needs to dump him

[@atinyevil1383]

Story 1: people saying OP is the AH are being ridiculous imo. If the ENTIRE family has told BIL that his comments are not wanted and that he’s being a dick hasn’t worked for 20+ years, OP calling him out won’t help. And obviously OP’s daughter didn’t “shit him down” like reddit suggests because BIL didn’t get it was a him problem and told husband that he needs to “get his kids and wife in line”. She’s not “subjugating” their kids to BIL, she’s letting them see their cousins. Everyone has sucky relatives, the important thing is to recognize that they are terrible and why.

[@katieb.1184]

Dear Kate: you called someone stupid... they called her an idiot... fair trade My grandparents had TWELVE kids. all bio. and a few other that didn't make it to adulthood. The youngest is 60. For them it wasn't about anything other than feeling it was a sin to not accept the gifts their bodies were given... I got into *many* arguments over the years because people would comment.

[@brew.3032]

Oh no the birthday story near the end made me cry 😢 Good on OP! The dad sounds like he would be so proud and happy seeing his little girl still enjoying her birthday. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes, so I can’t really blame mil regardless of her awful reaction.

[@RevWarRev]

Landlord / Tenant Ruckus: Totally the AH. Care for the property is the landlord's legal and ethical responsiblity. This is petty and illegal. OP needs to hire it out, tenants have rights to a liveable space. Sounds like petty revenge because he doesn't like dogs. Too bad - don't like renting to ppl with dogs in a provice that allows dogs, then get out of the renting business.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:26:14 when I say anything over twins scare tf out of me! God bless this OP.

[@ThemActually]

The landlord doesn’t even want them to get rid of the dog forever. They can and should lock up the dog but he should fix the issues anyway.

[@lotr2917]

For the landlord one: Why can't they take the dog OUT!?! They could walk the dog while he fixes it! Why is this so hard to understand! Its a very easy fix for this problem! WHY HAS NO ONE SAID THIS!!!!!! Its not hard to figure out, this really confuses me!

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

47:48 TF?! Gf has it wrong, gf was disrespectful af by just bringing a dog over without finding out if it’s okay, and _then_ texting OP. The Lion, The Witch and The Audacity of this Bit….

[@ichigo5674]

Alfredo never tastes good doesn’t matter who makes it

[@jonnien6006]

Why do all the cousins need to hang out together? My brother (23) hangs out with my female cousin (26). But I don't hang out with her, and my brother doesn't hang out with her sister.

[@umbraanimo7767]

it might me be but for the landlord story I feel a lot of the YTA comment are going with the idea that op is saying they have to get rid of the dog permanently. but just having them house the dog some where else for a few day while the repairs are taking place is resonable. not only could the dog get in the way, and as some one with a small exactable dog who gets in the way daily thats a real problem, but Op clearly has said dogs would be a problem

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

No, they understood. But pretty much everyone hates landlords, so they were saying suck it up or pay $$$ to an outside crew to come in and do the work that he could do. I think his tenant is a little sh-t. He was told no dogs, he agreed, then brought his dog, so he lied, knowing he could get away with it.

[@avaphynx]

People in that thread don't understand that higher quality ingredients tastes differently than lower quality ingredients.

[@SpecSolve]

Respect your elders is the shit that someone says when they don’t deserve to be respected

[@minagica]

25 y/o OP who left the family gathering: NOT the AH, holy shit. It's not right to bully a fellow family member into submission just because they are young

[@MaxPower-js1sk]

I can’t believe that the woman in the pasta story was a goose. Who cares about people having beer with pasta? There are more important things. Pre-shedded cheese is poo.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

What trouble is the dog being taken to a spa or a walk? They KNEW ahead of time he had issues with dogs. Tenants are rude AH.

[@YouTubeSupportSucks]

Landlord is an ahole because he's legally obligated to fix those things, point blank period. They should put the dog in another room though.

[@kmbaldwin5325]

He definitely is legally obligated to have the repairs completed in a timely manner, but the tenants are just being stubborn idiots here. Even if he hired someone else to do the repair, chances are the company that comes is going to require all pets to be secured or off the premises during the repair for the safety of their employee and the pet.

[@TheIronwil]

Dog Party: NTA, but it seems like the jealousy over the attention the dog got was a major contributing factor, and the allergic friend was almost an excuse. Doesn't matter in the end. It was highly disrespectful, regardless of his reasons behind objecting. Of course I always ask before bringing my dog somewhere, which I'd do even if he wasn't 165 pounds.

[@theamazingj7007]

The hotsauce story: am I the only one who doesn't get why this man is morally in the wrong for putting hotsauce on food and drinking beer but his wife apparently needs validation that her chicken pasta whatever was super special cause she bought the fancy cheese this honestly sounds like something a child would be genuinely upset about

[@Stormangel2779]

For a chef it is a huge insult to not try the dish before altering it. It is considered good etiquette to try a bite before adding stuff to a dish. It is not childish if someone insults your cooking and effort by not trying the food. Have you never cooked a dish or meal from scratch? Cooking takes a lot of work. Also food is never exactly the same twice. Just because someone has eaten an apple doesn't mean all apples taste the same. Same thing for Alfredo sauce not all taste the same. Have respect for the person that cooked for you try a bite then if you feel you need pepper, hot sauce, salt etc etc add it. It's called having manners and respect.

[@loneranger7831]

It is not childish to do something your proud of and want people to understand why your proud of it it's like making a painting and someone with out even looking at it drawing a line and saying it makes it better

[@theamazingj7007]

@@loneranger7831 bit different his wife doesn't paint for him every day it be like if she had made him the exact same painting 7 times before but expected him to act like it was something out of the ordinary because she used slightly more expensive paint

[@shadowrosegaming3566]

@@theamazingj7007 it was a special occasion for her as she didn't get to make the dish very often and very proud and excited prolly double so when her husbands friend was also going to be trying the dish neither of them tried the dish before dumping HOT sauce on it the husband is forgivable as he has had the dish before but he set a standard for his friend and encouraged his friend to ignore the effort his wife went through to make an entire dish with sauce from scratch by not tasting it and reducing the taste to HOT sauce

[@lynnegrove3194]

What would you do if you had say painted a picture and had spend time making it with love and gave it to someone you loved and they looked at it and said not enough white and poured white paint all over it! That’s the same feeling cooks feel when you don’t attest taste the food. Who knows gasp you might like it the way it tastes.lol

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. Kiera, uncle, aunt op parents and what not are all YTA. Dont know why kiera couldn't take a joke ;)

[@susanvaughn5086]

The grad student living with the sister. Implies large university with library facilities and wifi and quiet rooms. Duuuhh...

[@mariaherlihy2380]

OMG!! The food one could have been my house! Except I had made a fantastic pot of stew and dumplings. My roommates son and some of his friends came over and since there was more then enough, they had some of the dinner. Without even TASTING the food and overloading the plate,one of them covered the plate with blue cheese and opened an unopened bottle of super hot sauce and covered everything. We were ALL pissed off because he didn't even taste the food and ruined it so badly the DOG wouldn't even eat it. We never fed that particular friend again. On the boss one, my best friends father was "dad" until he was taking me home one time(I was probably in my 30s), groped me and tried to kiss me. After that, he went back to me calling him by his first name and he KNEW he crossed the line. He did apologize but I never called him dad again. Maybe OPs wife could get very formal with him, call him Mr Whatever and never be alone with him again. On the hording one, my sister and best friend at the time thought it was a good idea to "clean" my room (mid teens). I am a crafter, have been since before my teens. They threw out everything I was working on as well as all the supplies and all my books etc.(I'm 62 now). I so deeply resented that happening that I didn't really have much to do with my sister and my best friend became my x-friend.

[@minagica]

Ex enabling stepkids is the AH, not the OP 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@katherinehutton9870]

I grew up the same way OP did when it comes to dinner and food. You don't add extra spices or any sauce till you have at least tasteed 1 bit. Plus with the dish she made A fettuccine your hostess would be completely horrified. If there are any other southern guests so would they.. That's equivalent of spitting in her face. His lucky she didn't get thrown out by her.I raised southern and this is 1 of the main rules you do not break. He's lucky She didn't take off her right shoe and just start beating them there..... That's a sign of every mother or grandmother that's about to beat you they go for the right shoe.

[@minagica]

Aunt "Mara" deserves to be embarrassed