WILL YOU MARRY A DIVORCEE?- EP 6 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW

#FEMINISM #REDPILL #ISLAM
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[@AliDawah]

Please donate and help establish this Masjid and earn your reward: www.saveiman.com/fb? The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever builds a Mosque for Allah, Allah will build for him a similar house in Jannah.” If you support this project, you will in sha Allah get a house in Jannah and share in the rewards of all the people: ✅ Praying in the Masjid! ✅ Making Dhikr! ✅ Memorizing the Qur’an!

[@primeminister1040]

Ali dawah the new red pill convert spreading his nonsense anti-islamic values, shame on you.

[@johnsmithysmith1930]

Please bring on controversial characters like mahdi. This was really funny. And entertaining.

[@inspiretoawaken3641]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iaqXe6ajerWlY9E

[@thebesttruth4659]

May Allah protect our Muslim Sister😔 in Pakistan, Afghanistan, iran and other Muslim countries too

[@irshanaseer4176]

He always talks about polygamy but he does not tell how Arab treat their women thats why they have to pay enough mahar

[@zacka9438]

Muslim men please let's protect and treat our Muslim women kindly for they are the visual representation of Islam in the public space and the foundation of this ummah.

[@thisisausername.595]

@@thedon8384 of course men have to insert themselves on comments made about women. I see it everywhere, nothing new. Stale old actually.

[@humzanafees9348]

Yes I agree

[@this_is_it_sports20]

You can treat our Muslim sisters with kindness respect honor and bliss no problem but that doesn't mean you have to agree with what they want or say.

[@giganticdatawithbeautifulv3741]

We men should behave according to Qur'an and sunnah and same goes for women

[@AC-mp7cx]

muslim women, please treat muslim men kindly

[@zohebkarim2020]

A Muslim woman that has had 2 divorces in the past should never be labelled as having two sexual partners in the past. It is disgusting and demeaning. Muslim women are the best females on the planet. I cant believe how men can talk to sisters like this as if theyve had boyfriends. It shows how television has truly corrupted our minds. Stay strong sisters. As a muslim man i will always defend your honour even if you were divorced 10 times. Well done. May Allah reward you for protecting your chastity

[@user-ux8pj3rf4w]

رقع الله قدرك في الدنيا والآخرة

[@malazkarar1171]

رفع الله قدرك كما قال الاخ!

[@Amina-db2hc]

Watching this as a revert to Islam who got divorced at 35 with two children because my ex was Islamophobic and did not like that I came to Islam. I pray that Allah will give me a husband who is accepting of my past.

[@saabirmohamedjeylaani9084]

Sister it's the culture that's making bad the divorcee but in islam there's nothing wrong to marry divorcee. I hope you you'll find a good husband insha Allah.

[@moustafakashen3610]

It’s a culture thing sister, so don’t worry :)

[@user-ux8pj3rf4w]

Don't rush sisters and have high standards . I have met and heard of many reverts who accepted anything just to be married and never made demands or any research. One convert sisters married a Muslim guy who sexually abused her kids from first marriage then she married another time with Muslim who gave her AIDS. So make sure you do background check and demand that the guy does medical tests also speak to his family, friends etc .... if the gives you excuses then just run as fast as you can . Another sisters refused to marry a guy who was illegal , he beat her till she ended up in hospital. So please take your time, make istikharah and do investigations. A woman has more to lose than a man

[@BK_Beloved]

Many brothers will be open to marrying a sister who was previously married. Its about mindset

[@NobleHomeHealthCarePortland]

There’s a time we Somalis Men prefer a divorcee than never married because of their experience. I agree with brother Ali when he said “Somalis don’t frown on a Divorcee”. We treat them the same most of the time. I saw a lady who was divorced 6 times and she still got married the 7th time.

[@yuvan6499]

Bruh but what are the odds that all of her 6 ex husbands were at fault when she's the common denominator?. There's nothing wrong with marrying a divorcee but you need to know her past to decide if history will repeat itself especially when your future children's wellbeing at stake.

[@generalhuman5105]

Is it a game

[@NobleHomeHealthCarePortland]

@@yuvan6499 I agree with you here. This Sister was very short tempered and she knows her problem. She’s very honest upfront telling Men who ask her for marriage. Listen guys “I’ve got temperament issues”. If you wanna marry me with my shortcomings then well and good. She doesn’t pretend to be perfect.

[@NobleHomeHealthCarePortland]

@@generalhuman5105 No it’s not a game but her issue is: She’s short tempered and she tells this Men upfront. Most of this Men are just curious.

[@yuvan6499]

@@NobleHomeHealthCarePortland Well can't blame her then since I know there are men who will still go for it regardless.

[@jahanzebali589]

I am a Young Muslim Man of 24 years old, never married before. 1st, I agree with these women, Allahumma Barik! 2ndly, InshaAllah I will marry a divorcee, everyone deserves a 2nd chance! Men need to be men aka strong enough mentally to accept a divorcee. Prophet SAW did it, so we should too.

[@yehiasobh8478]

marrying a divorcee doesnt make you a man. you dont become a man just because you marry a divorcee because of empathy. if your a man and you want to marry a virgin, it is your right.

[@Hahahaha-7]

We look at a woman’s character before marriage, if she has divorced it is vital to know who caused it or what. So that’s why we don’t want to marry a divorcee because we have better options, the women back then were different from the women these days.

[@shehzaadful]

Lets not judge anyone. If she is divorcee let her be.. dont judge or say anything to her. Its upto men if they want to marry single or widow/divorcee. idk why society is judging men who is not marrying divorcee

[@lovinglife7893]

​@@yehiasobh8478as long as your wife is also receiving the same. Your a hypocrite if you want a virgin but you are not one yourself.

[@hellokitty10117]

@@yehiasobh8478 okay???? and he doesnt want to whats ur problem

[@LadyNoor22]

The brother in the red looks like he was sent to the corner shop for a pint of milk but accidentally stumbled into a studio 🤭🤭

[@rmd3661]

I'm not sure where do ali get this men from like you can see from other episodes that these men are just talking to talk

[@AK47.F]

Brothers in Islam I suggest all of you to read the Biography of our beloved Prophet (PBUH). It will change your life InshaAllah. One of the things which impacted me was, before I would look down on marrying divorcees or older women now I am happily willing to marry one. You never know the divorcee or the older woman you marry, will be the best one for you. May Allah grant us right understanding.

[@catcoffee7958]

It all depends on the woman character and Deen,, may all bless you with happy marriage

[@AK47.F]

@@catcoffee7958 Absolutely

[@yasminhusain213]

Absolutely, sometimes I feel these talks are just personal opinions more than striving to be like the prophet (s), if they did, a lot of issues could be solved.

[@bigfoot9412]

Unfortunately, a lot has changed in the past 1400 years, but not for good. Things have gotten worse.

[@zendarroof627]

It's a man's nature to want the younger virign women , the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is not like us in many ways just like how these women aren't like his wives رضي الله عنهن in many ways

[@fizameeraj5468]

I think it’s unfair to call someone whose never been married before bigoted because they aren’t accepting of marrying a divorcee- a man or woman. I do think its hypocritical when either a divorced man/ woman are expecting to marry someone who hasn’t been married before however. I understand preferences- but you can’t deny there is hypocrisy on a divorced man/woman not wanting to marry another divorced man/woman.

[@Tyb-xv5fn]

It would be hypocritical if a divorced man said I should get my preference for a virgin wife but a divorced women should only get a divorced man. What people miss is that men prefer virgins even if they are divorced whereas women who are divorced prefer men who are divorced as women want men to lead them and thay takes experience. So really it is just a case of a differential in preference standards. An anaology is age preference. Men who are young prefer women are young and men who are old also prefer women who are young. Is this the case with women's age preferences? Does this mean old men 'should' marry old women? Should old men prefer old women and if they do not are these men hypocrites?

[@fizameeraj5468]

​@@Tyb-xv5fn Interesting you say that. They did a poll in our university whether the men at our uni preferred women who were older than them or younger and 90% said older because of the ‘experience’. I think a lot of young guys are attracted to more mature women tbh, so its unfair to put these analogies and set them in stone as it differs between cultures and generations.

[@zendarroof627]

It's not hypocritical it's preferences, get your logic right

[@fizameeraj5468]

@@zendarroof627 lol preferences can be hypocritical? If your unable to process that id argue that you’d need to attempt to get your logic ‘right’

[@zendarroof627]

@@fizameeraj5468 do you know what hypocrisy even is ??? It means doing things in contradiction to what you are saying , so if the man is divorced and wants a women who never married before , what's the hypocrisy in that ?

[@abubakardanmusa5487]

Ali this is a brilliant idea of a discussion to bring out alot of the pressing issues that needs to be addressed in the Muslim society and may Allah bless you and your guests for it. The only observation I have is that the discussions have to be moderated better, I think jumping from one topic to the other without properly addressing it or one person interrupting the conversation before the other person make his point is kind of counterproductive, I think we'll benefit more from these discussions if you have clear topics to discuss and give people ample time to address those topics without being interrupted, and if someone wants to address what someone said, they can press their buzzer to get a chance to respond and when they're finished the discussion continues. May Allah reward you.

[@adamlondon7285]

My bro Gabriel absolutely on point... the only one bringing some balance to the conversation and making objective points. Some other good points made here or there, but overall very subjective and little substance without Gabriel's insights

[@aleatar]

My mother divorced my father because he committed a sin. He confessed decades after the divorce. My parents are from a culture where divorce is extremely frowned upon no matter for what reason. Because of that mom's own family accused her for years for "making a mistake, you chose him, you should've seen this in him" (my father's family, on the contrary, defended him). But, hearing stories from friends and relatives about my father, mom could hardly predict whether he was gonna do that. People can be actors, they can wear a mask for a while. And because of this ability of people to pretend, we need to understand that divorce is allowed in Islam for a reason. This world is not ideal, and we are not ideal, we are prone to mistakes and sins, the question is in quantity and degree.

[@shahee6579]

What sin,?

[@aleatar]

@@shahee6579 I'd rather not disclose it, because saying about the sins of others (which weren't exposed to the public by the sinner) is not appropriate.

[@shahee6579]

@@aleatar OK, I'm just gonna assume it was the sexual abuse of Children

[@songsinharmonysongsinharmo4580]

​@@shahee6579 it's haram for you to do that, assume with absolute no sense you can put it in your ذمة in the day of Judgement you have to seek forgiveness for such assumption and telling people that, and it could be false accusations purposely damaging some else reputation with bad intent will cause severe consequences.

[@shahee6579]

@Songsinharmony Songsinharmony I reading between the lines and assuming it's sexual abuse . Not saying it is . If I had a guess that's what I think

[@Hanna95000]

As a Somali I would say divorce not being frowned upon is beneficial to the men and women to some extent but it is detrimental to children. I know multiple women that have been married 3-4 times. MashaAllah they are doing something that is halal and with good intentions but it's unfortunate for children to get attached and forced to detach from step parents.

[@faisamusse8522]

In old Somali way 70s grandparents time or parents it wasn't no divorce ppl stay marriage but after 2000s many divorce happened now generation change because Somali man don't stay in marriage kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[@Hanna95000]

@@AhmedRaza-lh4oj it is done in a halal way with ida period maintained so STD is not an issue in these cases. As I said it's not bad for consenting adults to seek halal relationships but those with kids need to be more careful.

[@sultanhussain1541]

I am a Pakistani and I'm a divorce with no kids I myself would have no issue marrying a divorce women I would not want to marrie a Pakistani woman I would like to marrying in to other Muslim culture I have no issue marrying a divorce women I just want to debunk Ali dawah saying the is a big issue in Pakistani community that is nonsense

[@mbasemhassen2947]

Jazak Allahu Khayran, I really found this discussion helpful in answering some of the questions we hear around us in society. A thing that needs to be talked about more is what are the rights of men and women in marriage and issues that most commonly occur.

[@dickcheese705]

@@atheistreligionandislameis4455 lmao buddy get your head checked

[@IDYPLAYZ]

Personally as a 17 yo male I would want to marry a virgin as I have always wanted to experience this romantic relationship with someone else that hasn’t experienced it either. However I would go for a divorced woman if I divorced my first wife ( in sha allah that day doesn’t have to come if I have a wife). It’s not about her being “used” or a bad person because they divorced but it’s because I can’t experience a romantic relationship the same way with someone who’s already had that Edit: thank you for the nice comments. Please let’s not argue because at the end of the day we are all brothers and sisters and we should take care of each other❤️

[@muhammadomar1319]

Good for you and that is what our Prophet also encouraged. Don’t let these modern day women tell you to marry a divorced women to show empathy.

[@j86485]

And that's our fitra for both men and women so dw that's normal and what most people want

[@BlueBlue23]

​@@muhammadomar1319 you are misusing and abusing our Prophet's name (saw) but the truth is that he married a woman who had 2 men whilst he was a virgin himself. Do you think you are better than him?

[@abdirahman292]

@@BlueBlue23 are women marrying poor men like the Muslim women did before? Everyone has a preference.

[@newsamplifier]

May Allah bless you and Allah gave you that right. Go ahead and marry a Virgin Muslim woman. Don't mislead yourself, by these Divorcees. Don't make those woman think that, They can easily get away after giving divorce.

[@AmmarAhmadKhan]

Great podcast and discussion as always! A slight technical point I'd like to make is to increase the volume of the mics for people who speak with a low volume. Gabriel speaks with a very relaxed low volume cadence and I have to increase my volume to hear him sometimes and then immediately lower it because Ali starts speaking haha. So please in the post production process try to even out the volume of everyone.

[@DestinyToParadise]

O Allah, set right for me my religion which is the safeguard of my affairs. And set right for me the affairs of my world wherein is my living. And set right for me my Hereafter on which depends my after-life. And make the life for me (a source) of abundance for every good and make my de ath a source of comfort for me protecting me against every evil.”[Muslim]🧕🏼🤲🏼📿

[@Ash7689.]

Alhamdulilah that I am a Somali woman, and our men are not insecure about marrying a divorced woman. My mother was a divorced woman with 2 boys when she married my father who never been married before, and she gave him 11 kids and he was the love of her life. He’s been dead for 25 yrs and she’s been loyal to him, always remembering and doing sadaqa for him. Why are these South Asian men insecure about marrying a divorced woman when the Prophet PBOH encouraged to marry a divorce, and widow women? Their reasons don’t even make sense. An Indian man asked me for marriage but the more I learn about their culture the more I want to say no and marry a Somali brother.

[@NisasHenna]

It's the culture, rooting from Hinduism teachings etc.. Muslims haven't let go of it fully till date. Like example, the serial order of children getting married, the younger one can't get married before the older one 🙄😕, staying with in-laws and serving the entire family, getting up early and sleeping late, coming out in front of husbands brothers and engaging with them, serving them as well, openly free mixing and the list goes on

[@faisamusse8522]

Mashallah Somali culture side by side Islam way

[@newsamplifier]

Wait, Prophet SAW encouraged, marry virgin too. And, in one hadith, Prophet pbuh explicitly said to sahaba, why didn't he marry a virgin? What you are doing is shaming Islamic Rights of Man. Why you are so ignorant about Islam. Read some books. And, South Asian man practicing their halal rights. You are saying, south Asian man are insecure! But, south Asian man didn't said, You are u$#%! or, South Asian man never said ........ Wallahi, I can say, more hurtful things. But, for the sake of Allah. I'm restraining myself. Don't shame Islamic rights of man otherwise i'm gonna smoke you real bad.

[@newsamplifier]

The reason Somali community is more open to marrying divorcees is because they are more open to polygamy. You will see this in any country that is open to polygamy including: Saudi, Sudan, Mali etc. However, countries where polygamy is not common, divorcees are less likely to get married such as: Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Afghanistan etc.

[@Ayse-wf9es]

@@NisasHenna There are even some Desi guys whose mothers/sisters will reject a girl because she is a few months older than the guy....or a year or two older than the guy......that she's not several years younger than him. We, as a society, do have a lot of hangups that other cultures do not have.

[@FlorinaZVlogs]

I have been watching all full episodes so far..MashaAllah I am benefiting from these. May Allah reward you all .amin

[@muhammadomar1319]

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I am not saying don’t watch them but instead if you want answers to questions go and watch videos of actual scholars and student of knowledge.

[@mahriyamnoor903]

@@muhammadomar1319 which scholars are you talking about?

[@jayj3489]

Haloo really is a gem Allahumma barik, bringing the laughs, representing the young muslim average joe's, catering advice for the youth knowing that they make up majority of social media consumption. Brother Gabriel closing statement was just mind blowing, Allahumma barik. May Allah reward them all with steadfastness and put barakah in everything they do.

[@muslimnerds]

You're bring very nice to brother Haloo👀

[@learnfulanifulfuldewithjatu]

Thank you for creating this show brother Ali i'm so proud of you as a muslim sister may Allaah reward you for everything you've done for the benefit of the muslim community.

[@MH-bf4uu]

How in the world is this benefiting the Muslim community?

[@learnfulanifulfuldewithjatu]

@@MH-bf4uu By bringing people of different opinions in our community to air out their opinions and back it up

[@Jewels347]

I laughed at how he said there was 7 mins left at 59:39 and the show actually ends 20+ mins later lol 😂.. beautiful episode I learned alot as a recent divorcee thank you for the information.. and the sister is right no matter how much financially independent the sister is no sane woman wants to break their family home😢😢

[@noormuzamil9850]

Shut up women ☕deserve less prohphet Mushammad (saw )highly courage virgin girl plaese stop crying and die single alone 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@curiouscat5229]

But for the majority this is a FACT.

[@MaryamXZ]

Continue with these type of videos they’re very educational and this Umah really needs it!! ❤❤

[@dzemkiii]

I liked before even watching the video. Important conversation for the umah.

[@umarrehman6308]

Ali, love your work, let's do more podcasts like this!

[@anasozeer]

The niqabi sister and brother Gabriel made really good points! May Allah help this ummah's men and women be better in themselves, their deen and towards each other.

[@yaseentv3628]

As a young man, I am learning a lot from this. From our perspectives as men and our sisters perspective

[@speakerscornerchristianfil4318]

dude - why are your top scholars and missionaries admitting to different and corrupted qurans kzbin.info/www/bejne/o5y3p2WOjaupipI

[@redseapirate627]

Gabriel made an intriguing point near towards the end. I never thought it like that May Allah bless ur Ilm further 🙏🙏

[@havoc9487]

needs a part 2, great show.

[@ibrahimosman4905]

Brother Gabriel is always speaking truth and does it like a man and is still gentleman may Allah reward the whole show

[@ugandandev]

Thank you Brother Ali....The show is Good so far for me.

[@hehswhs1207]

Finally!❤ waiting for podcast for so long .

[@littlehonu]

Great conversations. Alhamdulillah

[@drewfiji8845]

Ali is a great guy Masha'Allah. But he never let people finish their point. He keeps talking over them. I say this in the most respectful way.

[@user-gy2zy5bi5h]

We really need to learn to not interrupt each other, and listen to each other😂 I feel this talks are very important and we can learn a lot but we need to learn to stop feeling that we are being attacked if someone sees things differently than us.

[@zeinebledou3931]

Allahoema barik this podcast was beneficial just as others. Brother Ali i would really love to see you do a podcast on widows. I really feel we are left out mostly out of the discussion. Jazaka allahoe ghairen

[@nizal9388]

Double standards: - Women exclude men based on his finances and FUTURE prospects. They openly choose 15% of the male population who are professional over blue collar workers/working class men who make up 85% of the male population. - Men exclude women based on her PAST because men value sexual security in a wife rather than her financial security. Women could exclude divorce men or men who have a haram sexual past but they generally dont care. Many professional sisters will marry nonmuslim men with professional jobs and happily exclude working class muslim men. Double standards are inevitable. Both men and women cause our own double standards.

[@jcheway]

Great advice for my married brother and sister that find it difficult is to look inward in what is lacking in your deen. No matter what your problem is only ALLAH can solve it.. Put the time and effort in your deen Make sure to remove any sin that can be the root of all your problem. Do you read Quran do you pray on time Sunna, nawafel ..Do you do night prayer.. Make sure to read Baqarah in the house. May Allah protect the marriage Muslim umma.

[@BruvahSulaiman]

The fact that this only has 5 likes is indicative of the true issue. No one seems to believe anymore that Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change the condition of what's within their hearts. If you had posted "I was the best spouse ever and I had to divorce my spouse because they did this and that" then you would have gotten many more likes.

[@fehmidatarar]

If he doesn't want to marry a divorced woman there's nothing wrong with that.

[@newsamplifier]

Alhamdulillah.

[@7LamarOdom]

lol. the fact that theres so much pandering on this episode to justify NOT marrying a divorcee is appaling. Ali, Gabriel are pandering so much. And the guy in red is clearly weak, he's walking on egg shells. He's in no need to justify.

[@Skeeeyeeee]

Same goes for divorced men then 💯

[@Mohamed--Aden]

@@Skeeeyeeeeyes, it all depends on the people agreeing to get married

[@Mohamed--Aden]

Forget that, the annoying part is the stigma of divorced people

[@AhsankhanAmu]

Whole podcast was nice, btw, I liked the last 15 minutes more.

[@blueflame3531]

No one is obligated to marry who they don't want to. Why are men being shamed and trip-guilt into doing something they don't want to do...

[@blueflame3531]

​@@wawaweewa9159 Yet they can't handle accountability...

[@HKY87]

This podcast has me cracking up 😂 Ali dawah and the brother in the red are hilarious 😂😂😂😭😂😂

[@AsalBasalTum]

Like all struggles- this one too teaches us to work on ourselves on our shortcomings. The sister in the middle! True that lack of accountability and God-consciousness. All issues we have coming from there

[@hadi_you_tube]

This episode was very beneficial.

[@taslimchowdhury431]

I got married with the right intentions and my husband at the time lied about so many things, had a bad temper and was physically and mentally abusive. I left him after almost a year and a half. When I tried to find someone to get married to, every single south asian men apart of one had an issue with the fact I was divorced. They have made it so hard for us asian divorced sisters. I will never put myself through that again. I hope I do not offend any one just speaking from my experience.

[@ibiro868]

Brothers from other ethnic backgrounds will give you a chance. Asians are a tough crowd even if you’ve never been married.

[@Melissa.s5522]

I wish u the best, may Allah give u a better husband

[@SouthLondonJamaican]

I’ve noticed a consistent pattern Muslim women love to play VICTIM. They always complain about how brothers won’t marry Divorcees & Brothers won’t marry sisters with kids BUT they will NEVER tell you about the MULTIPLE good practising brothers they turned down for some STUPID REASON Like …. •He’s 5’10 taller than her but she wants 6ft. •He earns enough to provide her with a comfortable life but he doesn’t have a Degree. •He’s too nice •A sister once said to me she turned a bother down because she don’t like the way he dresses, he owns his own business earns a lot & wants to marry her and provide for her kids. All that was ignored because of his clothing I personally use to have sympathy for divorcees with kids but the more and more you speak to them and they reveal there true reality all that sympathy goes out the window.

[@user-ly7ps2bd2b]

womp womp

[@anisahxt]

Very much appreciate the platform for this topic of discussion and it’s great to hear a variety of opinions. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning some constructive criticism. Just the interrupting during the conversation was quite distracting on occasion, and it would have been useful to hear the range of opinions fully.

[@azakz1988]

Woow. What a great conversation!!!

[@mohammedayaz2792]

The impact of divorce on a women is far greater than on a man. This is exactly why women need to chose better at the start. I do recognise that people change.

[@purplelove3666]

Among Muslims not Christians ,

[@SushiGoLarge]

Its not always the men who are the issue, the feminist women who doesnt allow a leader trying to control the man with so called western rights. The women are losing tradition and islamic values which is making their fundamentals broken.

[@muslimninja9017]

Thank you brother Ali! We need more ppl like you in this world to help the ppl who have been misguided by the Shaytaan.

[@M.A.K47]

@@ahchappar I don't think you realise the gravity of calling someone a Shaitan. Fear Allah.

[@muslimninja9017]

@@ahchappar have you ever read the Quran before? do you know what Islam is even about? Ur comment proves how ignorant and misguided you truly are.

[@alizaishah2820]

حفظک الله و جزاکم الله خیرا اخی علی ❤❤❤

[@Mobanks]

I'm just 10 mins in, but i can say this episode is much more organized, Ali please keep the number of panelist at 6 ( 3 brothers & 3 sisters) as opposed the 8 we're used to, this keeps the conversation more engaging, less talking over each other, more organized and less chaotic

[@akh8796]

It’s a choice each to their own we’re all on our own journey May Allah make it easy for my brothers and sisters we need to unite these testing times.

[@MO-oe8uw]

Divorce is a joke in western society. Societal Stigma Is required in order to emphasise something is not good i.e divorce even if permissible.

[@hassanalinoo]

You are right. This show always speaks bad about subcontinent culture but our culture is very good. Both Islamically and religously.Alhumdulliah.

[@deedeee6271]

I appreciate the sisters' words at the end. Gave the hope and inspiration from an Islamic and psychologically healthy point of view which is truly the way forward, a stark contrast to the superficial way the brothers viewed the issue.

[@cooljool1]

lol, hey were being optimistic. he sister is delusional

[@al-aminhussain8052]

Really enjoyed this episode mashaAllah nice to hear the sisters opinions too 💯💯

[@MoeedKhan1979]

Yes we must speak against this divorce issue in our societies especially south Asian society. But remember one thing that marriage is not a game that you divorce again and again

[@hassanalinoo]

You are right. It's a problem in our society. This show always speaks bad about subcontinent culture but our culture is very good. Both Islamically and religously.Alhumdulliah.

[@j86485]

@@hassanalinoo I'm glad Gabriel fought back against them about the positives of the asian culture. I only see asian girls with daddy issues who complain about the asian culture

[@fouwad123]

​@Sakaysar she speak the truth opening your eyes and understand u

[@Zazezoo]

@@SamirSiraj8542 you sound like a woman. Your culture is very oppressive, especially towards divorcees …

[@HomeTravelGardenInspo]

@@hassanalinoo Exactly! There is only one desi on this panel, and she’s a divorcee, like the other two sisters on the panel. She will obviously, have a bias, when she speaks, as she has had a negative and bad experience. Looking at the African community, when it comes to marriage, is definitely NOT the way to go. Somali communities, get married and divorced like it’s fashion. Look at the African American community, no father figures and single mums, hanging around bums. Having standards is a good thing. African men in general, take what they can get. Beggars can’t be choosers. When you see which race, has the least standards, when it comes to marriage and partners, it’s the African community. Sorry, but it’s true.

[@yamanansari5023]

In South Asia Desi people do frown upon divorced men too. A father from south Asia would never be okay for his virgin daughter to marry a divorced men. So please don't miss represent South Asian muslim.

[@bomblol2727]

wrong, if he is well off or has the passport, every uncle will come flocking around.

[@kamrannabir7783]

Brother Ali, I love this this series you’ve got going on I be anticipating these videos and absolutely love the discussions, gives a good understanding of the right ways in which we should conduct ourselves as Muslims. One thing I’d like to ask for, hope it isn’t too much of an ask but could you discuss from the panel’s viewpoint on marriage finding techniques. I’m a young 20 year old lad living in the UK trying too seek marriage with a Muslim and tend to find it hard to go about this in a halal manner. Alhamdulilah since the panel is from an elder viewpoint could you possibly delve into this subject as we know the forms of attributes needed off a woman but obtaining the woman itself in a halal manner can be hard and a myth. Jazakallah Khair

[@curiouscat5229]

Go through family and friend.

[@nadiaahmed4049]

What brother gabriel was talking about at 25:11 to do with insecurities is called retroactive jealousy where a person basically has obsessive thoughts about their partners history and has certain triggers which cause them to obsess over it, for example, constantly asking their partner questions about their past, and it usually comes from a place of insecurity and a persons upbringing rather than judgement. even if it is a man’s nature to be naturally jealous , women can also suffer from this.

[@mayg7415]

The stigma on polygyny brings about the stigma on divorcees. Because if a man feels he can only marry one woman, he would try his best to get the best possible deal, but when a man knows he can marry again without stigma, men would have no problem marrying divorced women. It happens a lot in my country, especially in my community

[@melkorstormcrown6939]

What you said actually makes a lot of sense

[@nicholea5526]

I agree

[@farahjichi4617]

So to solve the stigma, let men just emotionally destroy their wives.. Reasonable. How come this stigma is only in Arabic and Muslim counties? Nak

[@big.bang.]

💯💯

[@zeenazeena2428]

Why is a woman who’s been married before not the ‘best possible deal’?

[@lubna.candid]

People don't want someones emotional baggage

[@INDIF82]

In my parents' culture, when someone gets divorced, people have the audacity to stick their noses into the issues of the divorcee and ask why they get divorced. The reason then becomes public and people judge them. Very toxic

[@mailboyfresh327]

@AliDawah can you add timestamps to these longer videos? It's make it easier for us to go back to sections we want to re-watch

[@Sultan-gr5tk]

The stigma on polygyny has created the stigma in divorce. If men believe they have more options in the future, they wouldn’t mind marrying a divorcee.

[@madironashrica]

The issue is that most women not willing to be second or third wife’s nowadays

[@moonwalkerr87]

Most men don't mind marrying a divorcee as second, third wife. The problem is that women are so much against polygyny and making it difficult for men to remarry, that they feel they only have one shot, and therefore wanting to get the very best (beautiful, young, virgin etc). And this is perfectly understandable and reasonable. The irony is that the very same women who are againt polygyny, are the ones complaining when they themselves become divorced and finding it difficult to remarry. That's when they say "Where are the brothers who want to practice the sunnah of polygyny??" Sisters are shooting themselves in the foot by saying no to polygyny. But when things get tough, that's when they realise they have to swallow their pride.

[@madironashrica]

@@uok6216 what is required to have that setup is not expensive. Women are making it expensive because their mind have been altered by materialistic things and believing that having things is required to make it work. No ! Go and look at the conditions and see if it’s men or women that are rooted in reality. Western way has gotten through our ummah and we are trying to apply our Deen jointly with the western way of living ne think that’s it’s the best thing to do.

[@moonwalkerr87]

@@uok6216 People have preferences. Some like to eat spaghetti, others like biryani. Everyone decides for themselves what they want and don't want. Sisters who are having a hard time getting remarried must find other halal solutions. Polygyny is a big solution for those who care about chastity. Or stay single (if you can stay away from haram). It's that simple. Cannot blame men for wanting virgins. Just like women want successful alpha males. It's all in our biology and fitrah. Don't make it out to be something strange.

[@clementeen]

A divorcee woman shouldn’t be a second option though

[@shamailaahmed7442]

Just a thought, there are many many aspects missing from this discussion. One main one was compassion and tawakul. You do your best and whatever happens after that is written in fate. Noone goes willingly in marriage hoping it will end. That being said, a further few issues need to be raised: 1) narcissistic abuse in a marriage, unlike domestic abuse (from either men or women), is a totally different ball game here because this type of abuse is pure torture and the perpetrator is very convincing to others so its not as easy as vetting someone for marriage its more complex than that. It's hardly mentioned, hidden or brushed aside when looking at proposals and its a big issue. Something to highlight. Divorce let alone marriage is complete torture for the victim as there is manipulation from families involved aswell. And yes, sadly the blame shifts entirely on side because the perpetrator has "set up" the smear campaigns long before. 2) The discussion would have been useful to highlight the differences in sharia courts in the US, UK and elsewhere etc. Being heard as a woman is an entirely different kettle of fish. If a women has been taught to stay silent and bear with it and that whatever stays in the home, stays in the home then here people are automatically could cast blame on her because she wouldn't speak up when it's a matter about honoring family. Respectful men may have a similar issue too. Divorce courts and BME-run domestic violence agencies come with their own judgements and preconceptions that they put on the both men and women and miss upholding their honor during the process. 3) having valid reasoning for divorce. Understanding the 3 talaqs at once from the men, is a practice that needs to be analysed and addressed etc. The process is easier for a man to divorce and harder for a woman. Or even mentioning about high and low mahrs etc DIVORCE IN ISLAM IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROCESS TO THE WESTERN PROCESS. So the stats of western society are meaningless to begin with. Process for khula is not lightly and is very lengthy. Some sisters are abused within the system or abuse the system. 4) a big issue that was missed is sometimes neither even the man or woman are to blame, people do separate amicably with NO hatred as they may not be compatible 5) divorced women can also be preyed upon, especially when she has been taken out of the marital home. Many men treat these woman as garbage astagfirullah. This was not mentioned either. Why is protection of sisters not being addressed in this episode? What if their own sisters and mothers got divorced, what would these men do? Re-marrying could be a safer option. How do we formulate co-existence and strengthen tribes amongst Muslim communities in this day and age if we leave many people unmarried? Isn't it fard kifayah? The prophet saw and sahabah did not marry for themselves, they married to STRENGTHEN tribes, bonds between Muslims and multiply Muslims. If we all married from desire and for self gaining reasons. We are doomed as an Ummah and we will then be looked at as an uncivilised community whose men marry based on their fitrah and whose women continue to struggle battling accusations even if they are pure. I think mohammed hijab would have been key to this discussion- he would have brought more depth to the conversations MashAllah

[@adilabaig1368]

Assalamualikum sister, I'm a covert Narcissistic abuse survivor. I've escaped an abusive marriage and life after divorce should have had been easy but unfortunately the suffering continues with people having a wrong mindset and not being able to explain people what really happens when you're stuck with a person like that. I agree with all that you said

[@shamailaahmed7442]

@@adilabaig1368 Wasalam, Sorry to hear of your experience. Know this though- forgive yourself, people think they know what its like but noone truly knows what marriage is really like until you go into it and even then it is a gamble- life is just that strange. These moments or trials are prescribed to us as a way of re-connecting with Allah, please bear that in mind. Allah did not forsake you and will not forsake you. Also appreciate the fact that what is done is done- one day- I promise you, you will not even care what people say or think anymore. You can and will start afresh and soon (not straight away) but soon you will look back and see it as a phase and nothing more. Sending duas your way

[@BintAbubakr]

Asalamu alaykum sister Shamila! Jazzakallah khayr for bringing these points. I agree with you and I would love to have more in-depth discussions on the points you mentioned with people who explain it in detail form the religious practice & law. (Mohammed hijab is a great example & I’ve seen brother Gabriel on another podcast and he’s also very knowledgeable) We have so many people who follow rules they believe is from the deen but in fact it’s culture and if and when it’s brought up many get shunned. I hope brother Ali sees your reply and looks into these points. And as for Adila inshallah Allah heals you and gives you someone 100x better in this life and the next (Ameen) Asalamu alaykum ☺️

[@theknowledgeseeker9966]

Great topic and discussion. Just one advice: better if you dont interject so much, it feels stressful to watch. Just let people finish. The format doesnt matter that much, better to get a good, calm flow of conversation.

[@Strijder013]

Why do woman get so triggered when men say they want to marry a virgin?? I don’t understand this

[@newsamplifier]

I saw in some podcasts, Only prostitutes and insta models has problems with Man's preference like marry a virgin.

[@SikandarKhan-mf5pz]

Because when a Non virgin man that has committed Zina and has not repented yet makes it a habit. Then it's a sign of hypocrisy.

[@halimaa2932]

I think It sounds like you’re only marrying for inter course and seeing the woman as sexual object.

[@redpanther9380]

​@@SikandarKhan-mf5pzmen and women look for different things you can't change it we want virgins and it's a fact cry about it

[@BruvahSulaiman]

It has less to do with blaming ppl for their trauma and more to do with not being confident that the relationship can work with that trauma being factored in.

[@sanane66543]

its usually the people with trauma blaming the innocent person they with...

[@Tyb-xv5fn]

The most important point is what the French Niqabi sister said towards the end of the show. We don't heal. There deep psychological reasons why men prefer virgins, even if they cannot articulate them.

[@cooljool1]

the trauma is something you deal with on your own not in a relationship with others. nobody is interested in your baggage or the many moving parts of a highly volatile relationship

[@BruvahSulaiman]

@@cooljool1 There are no humans on earth who come with no baggage. As long as you interact with other humans you will be dealing with the good and the bad of those humans. My only point was that it can't be reduced to just blaming ppl for their trauma. A person may simply know themselves well enough to know that they aren't equipped to handle certain things. Ideally ppl would discuss their trauma before getting married, but we don't live in a perfect world. Not everyone is even aware of their own baggage. Believe it or not, some ppl really do believe that their sh doesn't stank.

[@cooljool1]

@@BruvahSulaiman plenty of humans don't come with baggage from previous relationships. its not that hard as I mentioned, their trauma is their problem. we can't help them with that. they must get all the help they need and eventually face their triggers and overcome them. only then we can enter their world

[@ruthtruthinireland]

Divorce is the last resort when all other options have failed. Subhan'Allah we can't paint every relationship with the same brush. Some people go through horrific situations where divorce is in fact the healthier thing to do. Having said that... in the 21st Century divorce seems to often be the FIRST resort.... This is a worry, no doubt. On the issue of marrying a divorcée? There are many opinions on this topic but it all comes down to this... marry wisely; be it a divorced person or a person who was never married; be it someone with a past or not.... what matters is trusting Allah Subhanuhu wa'ta'ala to guide us in EVERYTHING.

[@sanane66543]

and yes i agree with Allah guiding us in this matter. Im thankfull for Allah to have guided me away from divorcees almost got trapped 3 times subhanAllah i got saved

[@safeperson739]

Thanks ali bro.❤

[@halimahalkandari4827]

I want to share my opinion in this matter although I am not devorced. There were many conflicts throughout the 7 years of marriage and divorce was so close many times. However, due to my job I had to continue my study abroad with my kids and without my husband due to circumstances that we couldn't control. I found time apart helped us appreciate each other and fully understand each other more. Sometimes being separated will help you understand your wrongs and really help you to understand what you need to work on. A divorced lady certainly has gained experience through a past marriage! It is like revizing a book you read several times before I guess.

[@nicholea5526]

Alhumdulilah your marriage survived. May Allah put barakat in it. I agree that separation can help in some cases. Maybe that's one of the hikmat of talaq being done in stages.

[@Hakwbebsu26]

Let’s see how tiktok feminists react to this video 😂

[@alifnajmi7014]

You just started war in replied

[@primeminister1040]

Divorced men are damaged goods and domestic abusers

[@yassinesovieti]

​@@alifnajmi7014​​DONT FEED YOUR SOULS NEGATIVE ENERGY , DONT FEED YOUR SOULS NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, SATAN WANTS TO FEED YOU WITH NEGAVTIVE ENERGY , ALLAH SAID IN THE QURAN THAT SATAN WHISPERS TO YOU EVIL THOUGHTS , DONT LET HIM FEED YOU THAT THOUGHTS , AND BATTLE HIM WITH PRAYER AND BY FOLLOWING THE QURAN

[@kaoutherkorichi5627]

What is feminist about being divorced?

[@2ummis]

What is the intention & point of this comment? 🤔

[@princeofsomalia1231]

Ima be real I’ve never been fond of getting married but these bitter truth shows make me physically sick to think about it. I did not know it was this complicated

[@jandesbouvries9057]

May Allah make it easy for you my brother. Yes it's difficult, but if you find the right one it will make your life better.

[@purplelove3666]

It's not, culture and stupidity makes it complicated

[@ummjamila7955]

Yep absolutely disgusting it’s because people dont wanna follow islam. They only want to follow culture. Focus on the now and who the person is and dont worry about the past its dead.

[@khadijahsworld8784]

Very beneficial. MashaAllah

[@fatmasaad8719]

Regarding healing: I think you can measure healing through function and behaviour. The trauma or events that youve been through Will effect your new marriage through behaviours. If you have toxic or bad behaviours caused by your earlier marriage you know you have to work on it. Because how you feel will show itself through how you act. If you are sometimes sad when you look back but easily forgets and moves on you can still be healed

[@zaraparadise]

Sister at the end was right when she said our fathers and grandfathers stayed and fought for there marriages and don’t leave men have changed she got it 💯

[@cooljool1]

our fathers and grandfathers were plow horses who didn't know any better and thought setting themselves on fire will make the relationship continue lol

[@Kwm-519]

Everyone kept comparing situation to the time of prophet and sahabas but no one mentioned the fact that in those days, having multiple wives were common so a guy can marry a virgin AND a divorcee. Marriages were easy back then now very difficult

[@catcoffee7958]

They could marry cause they can afford multiple wives,, and crime and gangs did not effect kids like today,,,

[@misscamara12]

Right. They always conveniently avoid the Sunnah about having multiple wives. That was mainly the reason why it was easy for divorcees to remarry.

[@kurdish_e_l]

I’m from southern Kurdistan so I can talk about the cultural aspect of it and yes divorces are frowned upon but maybe not as much as the desi’s which they made it seem super frowned upon And my personal opinion I don’t think it’s a bad thing because some people want to get divorced for no reason or for the simplest things

[@jandesbouvries9057]

I am desi. I believe it's very difficult for us because a divorced wife shared intimate moments with someone before. She had that experience with someone else. And some thoughts will always stay with her. Just that makes it almost impossible for us to marry a divorcee.

[@cyberspace7208]

​@@jandesbouvries9057 In the Desi community, a divorced woman is shunned no matter the reason. Many will never mention it. Their children suffer because they will be shunned for marriage. No one wants to be married into a divorced family. When speaking about a divorced woman, people will whisper it. Families will ban divorce outright no matter the difficulty. A woman can experience the worst oppression and be beaten from left to right and her parents will never allow her to divorce. I has very little to do past relationships and all to do with the belief in Desi cultures that a daughter in law belongs to the husband's family and if she asks for divorce, she is a deep traitor who has betrayed and shamed the family. Having a divorced child can ruin marriage prospects for all other kids as someone will see something wrong with that family. Many fathers outright will tell their daughters not to come home. This isn't true for every individual, but it is true for the culture as a whole. Even those who have some knowledge will just mind their business when seeing that.

[@karimabelhajla5976]

​@@cyberspace7208 wauw seems like a difficult culture for womens :(

[@cyberspace7208]

@Karima Belhajla Yes, but depends on the family.

[@tifawt3736]

@@jandesbouvries9057This is insecurity. Your culture and attitude stems from your culture has nothing to do with Islam. Our prophet pbuh married divorced women.

[@muhammadmustafah4234]

Salam Brothers & sisters this is some interesting topics I have soo many questions to ask in that episode

[@especialeyes3404]

I wish if I could have this advice or hear this debate 15 years ago I think I wouldn't be single since now but Alhamdulillah

[@mchowdhury3184]

Why are you single?

[@especialeyes3404]

قدر الله وماشاء فعل

[@mohammadnimer106]

Wallah I was thinking that this show was a waste of time but wallah it’s helped me. My idea of a righteous woman was a woman wearing the hijab and the face covering who was a virgin. Wallah I realized what marriage is a dying practice because people have these assumptions. Ali and the people on the panel may Allah bless you as I learn and grow from these real conversations.

[@MohammadDaniaalKhan]

Ali, Alhamdulillah for these, as a muslim, we need these, much better than watching any movie or drama series online. One request, please bring more individuals (Talking about Men) that are more knowledgeable in terms of Aqeedah. This guy talking about "I am the most handsome!" do not want to see this childish behavior on topics that are so serious today!

[@robertpeters4436]

Been trying to comment on your Jeffery marsh video... Cannot seem to comment... Maybe youtube have shut down the comments on that vid. I STAND WITH YOU AGAINST THESE CHILD PREDATORS. no matter what my background, beliefs etc etc

[@eternalakhirah]

Whenever the guy in red jacket is on the show, the show will never boring 😂😂😂 Not saying it's boring without him

[@ghaffz6744]

This podcast is elite icl

[@realhass185]

this is the closest you can get to marriage documentary.

[@SandiegoRockstar]

The reason Somali community is more open to marrying divorcees is because they are more open to polygamy. You will see this in any country that is open to polygamy including: Saudi, Sudan, Mali etc. However countries where polygamy is not common, divorcess are less likely to get married such as: Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Afghanistan etc. Edit: there are two main reasons for the correlation between acceptance of divorcees and the acceptance of polygamy. Firstly, both are considered sunnah. Secondly acceptance of polygamy reduces pressure on brides to be perfect. So when a guy knows he can marry another he is not that annoyed that his bride has an ex husband.

[@yuvan6499]

Agreed, that's the same case in Indonesia as well. Divorcees are usually the 2nd - 4th wives so that they're supported by men who can afford them. Men who only want or can afford 1 wife tend to avoid divorcees because of the fear of not knowing a divorcees past as they could be the reason of divorce and not their ex so history may repeat by itself.

[@sheikhtijanjeng4762]

Same in SeneGambian

[@BlackSeedOil20]

You are trying to say that polygamy is all that a divorced woman can get. But it is not true. When marrying, there are more to consider than previous marriage. It depends on looks, age, status, money character and connections.

[@SandiegoRockstar]

@@BlackSeedOil20 yes there are other things to consider, but past is probably the biggest factor. Also why are you talking about polygamy as a second class marriage? Done right in the halal way, it is the best kind of marriage. This is why it is the standard in Paradise. It means less pressure on the wife to be perfect which is why divorcees easily get married in polygamous societies.

[@BlackSeedOil20]

@@SandiegoRockstar It is second class marriage for sure. But focus on yourself and do your polygamy if that's what you want.

[@hamzahhussain6580]

Inshallah I hope Haloo and Gabriel make more appearances on the show 🤞

[@dodounjie9894]

Am watching the marriage document through Ali's talk🎉

[@nilimabegum5137]

Alhamdulillah divorce can also be a blessing in disguise for some Allah knows best but Alhamdulillah 🤲

[@tifawt3736]

I thank Brother Ali for talks like this. This was much needed for the Umma.

[@AbedLrahmanRheby]

The guy is being attacked for saying he wont marry a divorcee....And calling it insecurity. He can choose what ever he wants!

[@mnt9777]

I am a single person, searching for a good moderate muslim since 10+ years..please pray for me to Allah that i get married very soon as iam a true muslimah and need protection of a husband.

[@mnt9777]

Does anyone know anyone sincere and a convert or a moderate muslim looking to get married? I am single, 5.7 tall, speak 6 languages and belong to a turkish/ pakistani background. I just have 1 son and he is starting college. I was very young when got married and widowed within 5 years.

[@fouwad123]

am from uk Pakistani half Persian

[@user-ov7gl4cd3t]

Great show. Interesting to see modern view of marriage and relationships from Muslims instead of the redpill community and feminists

[@ahmatahmat5680]

I don’t care I will marry any Good woman and religious Whether be divorced or widowed that’s all

[@Zazezoo]

I can see the African map, this is an Asian issue I suppose. Perhaps Africans need to start marrying divorced Asian women and teach their men how to be men!

[@muhammadomar1319]

@@Zazezoo Stop making ridiculous statements and trying to create division amongst the Muslims. You don’t even know why this so called issue even exists in the first place.

[@Amish07]

@@Zazezoo audhubillahi mina shaitan rajeem

[@SikandarKhan-mf5pz]

What about if she has kids from the previous marriage would you be OK with it.

[@rafayshakeel4812]

Asalam alaykum, Br. Ali. I'd advise you to invite a Shaykh or a Taalib-e-'ilm to the Bitter Truth Show. They can easily clarify any issues raised on the show. This will spare us all from watching videos on KZbin regarding questions raised on the show.

[@abdullahjaber3577]

No respectable sheikh would show up to something like this.

[@jawidwardak691]

Brother Gabriel studied in Islam in a few countries, so there's no need to do that.

[@Zazezoo]

We also need to have real discussions that some sheikhs might be unaware of especially if they do not live in the west . Otherwise the sheikhs would have covered these issues on their talks. We need sheikhs we can relate to and who’ll understand the issues in the west.

[@rafayshakeel4812]

@@Zazezoo I think Shaykhs and Talib-e-Ilm who do not live in the West should primarily focus on issues pertaining to their country. They should also be aware of what's happening in the West because Liberalism has also spread and is currently spreading in Muslim countries. But their primary concerns should be based on issues that are affecting their country e.g. Bidah, sectarianism, etc....

[@Football_editsz79]

bro young men are already struggling with non divorce women how on earth we will handle the divorce one in this generation crazy walahi

[@clementeen]

what’s there to handle? A marriage didn’t work out. It’s simple. There are many other issues in life aside from divorce even for unmarried virgins

[@redpanther9380]

​@@clementeenthere is problems we as men know you women have no right to say in that so keep quiet maybe??

[@clementeen]

@@redpanther9380A real man doesn’t shut a woman up. I am free to say what I want. Very rude.

[@Anonymous-vv9im]

I think you should give subtitles too.. I don't know but yes as i am not influent in English it will help people like me! JazakAllah khair

[@pensatorseven1898]

The Brother in the Dark Suit was 100% on point.