Alien: Covenant - ralphthemoviemaker

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[@gregb5213]

The oldest question in human history. "Is it really gay if you're doing it with an exact copy of yourself? Or just an advanced form of masturbation?... Also you're both robots." ~ Aristotle

[@oktw6969]

Technically a clone is not your exact copy, so it would be still hella gay.

[@SmEliot21]

😭😭

[@brettvv7475]

"If I had a clone, I'd still be alive, and would have totally not-gay edged him...me" ~Abe Lincoln

[@stevehayhurst3572]

Greg b i

[@VixxKong2]

Greg b "It ain't gay if you say no homo" -John Lennon

[@RyanHPvineyvids2013]

The sexual tension between Michael Fassbender and himself in this movie was the best part. It was genuinely hilarious.

[@Gdean25]

I hate this movie but I agree that was the best part lol

[@LukeLovesRose]

You're an ignorant homophobe huh?

[@Dimebag-wx2rs]

Luke M Oof

[@Dimebag-wx2rs]

Luke M What are you?? Gay??

[@sommerblume9671]

Vash the Stampede i'M GaYYYYYYyyy

[@Names_buck]

"Michael Fassbender who is a brilliant actor, who picks his films by dartboards." An accurate statement that made me choke on my own laughter

[@anikmonette2140]

He made the film quite enjoyable, honestly.😘

[@McQueeb]

Has nobody mentioned that Ralph's dog looks like Ralph?

[@mateusrezenderibeiro3475]

Like a duck looks like it's master

[@root-beer]

How do you tame dogs in minecraft again?

[@siggimatti1129]

El Fresno you just have to give them bones which are most commonly found from killing skeletons and you should be all set

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@siggimatti1129 Doing the lord's work.

[@rilluma]

its very common that dog and owner are look-a-likes

[@DarkPhoenixSaga]

"Michael Fassbender, a brilliant actor who picks his film by dartboard" lol.

[@magsec5]

DarkPhoenixSaga Danny McBride: just happy he got a role.

[@collegelifeasmr530]

DarkPhoenixSaga the same dartboard George RR Martin uses to kill of characters

[@dragonbreath9957]

DarkPhoenixSaga More like an actor who knows it's good to keep friends in the business. Ridley Scott likes him, so he casts him and Fassbender isn't going to turn his friend down. We see this with the new Alien movies and with The Counselor (that was Ridley, right?). Plus, you never know how a movie is going to turn out as an actor. Especially when there are reshoots and changes to script.

[@hafaball]

he needs the money to pay for all the coke and hookers he swims in all night and day

[@vassilyvodka2638]

@dig duck Ypu should watch Hunger, Shame and 12 Years a Slave. In those movies(directes by the same director) he shows his abilities as an actor.

[@Adam-zg1rp]

There was more character development with Charles the gay robot in this video than with anyone in Alien Covenant

[@Lamidemonami7891]

Adam Johnson There was more characterization in Alien Covenant than in Alien. But everyone chooses to ignore that because it's "a classic"

[@danielwhite3244]

or maybe its because there is actually no decent characterization in covenant and in alien, the characters are actually interesting. but thats just my opinion

[@Jadizi]

Adam Johnson character development is what everyone complained about in Prometheus. No enough xenos blood and guts too much talking. They listen and people are still pissed....

[@grantwilliams2650]

Keith MacDonald 10/10 bait! Like that’s the best bait I’ve ever seen and I’m not even being ironic I was so close to getting triggered and flaming your ass but I don’t think you were being serious

[@jimslav6973]

*"character development is what everyone complained about in Prometheus. No enough xenos blood and guts too much talking. They listen and people are still pissed...."* Yup. You could not ask for a more detailed, scientific breakdown of where the xeno is from, yet people call these 'failed prequels'. No one will ever be happy till they see an engineer crash on LV426 -- a scene that tell us *nothing* which already played in our head way back in 1979. This is Star Wars all over again. Three movies all lead up to an Anakin/Obi Wan duel we already knew the outcome of in the 70's.

[@judgebigmansion3492]

Unfair comparison: Seeing Ralph's dog eat was far more enjoyable than he gives credit for

[@rooksclown316]

There is something enjoyable about watching a dog eat

[@anikmonette2140]

So cute!

[@salbryant4227]

His name is T "Well it ain't no easy grab, THEY GOT T"

[@ammarnapata2193]

Classic!!

[@georgedudleysashtray3860]

how we supposed to fight xenomorphs if THEY GOT T

[@bob4peers]

It was just gon be an easy grab!

[@jack-wk8po]

Sleepless might be his best vid

[@garlonschuman1014]

CGI Piss well it ain’t no easy grab THEY GOT T

[@IHE]

I'm so glad you got rid of that Assassins Creed poster it's always annoyed me

[@a_lonetraveller3015]

I Hate Everything Eagerly waiting for your next video!

[@ragephil5609]

I Hate Everything me too

[@annihilationgaming2289]

pretty much thats been annoying me for a while i thought it was just me lmao

[@battleupsaber462]

I Hate Everything Do "I HATE RALPH'S ASSASSIN'S CREED POSTER"

[@samuelmercier3635]

Who the fuck likes AC unity

[@kahunachannel3404]

"It ain't no easy grab them aliens got T!"

[@jagwur]

HAHAHAHAH

[@notthatsamsmith1147]

Kahuna Channel well as am sure you know the aliens GOT ALOT OF ENEMIES GOT ALOT OF ENEMIES GOT A LOT OF PEOPLE etc

[@missx5472]

Kahuna Channel they got tea

[@kumpel1531]

Kahuna Channel YES

[@collegelifeasmr530]

Kahuna Channel They got E.T!

[@us3990]

It really annoyed me how they gave Katherine Waterston's character the same hair and tank top thing as Ripley in Aliens, just irritating. Ripley is one of the coolest characters in any movie, ever- you can't just stick her look on someone else and kind of pretend they're the same.

[@stevenborg102]

Her hair bothered me so much. She has a 12 year old boy's cut, like a cross between a muppet and also a mop.

[@captainsmoke1612]

That "play my flute" part was so surreal, the only part I remember from this movie. lol

[@tawdryhepburn4686]

I loved that bit. It was an interesting and unsettling depiction of pedophilia.

[@5uperM]

Oh shit boy, It's Charles Stiles, mystery dinners.

[@bensonratch8401]

5uperM RELEASE THE D R O N E

[@childeater7327]

IT AINT NO EASY GRAB THEY GOT CHARLES STILES

[@arkham7727]

5uperM FOUR CAMERAS HAVE BEEN PLACED IN THE MAIN DINING ROOM

[@RyanHPvineyvids2013]

That would make an excellent found footage horror film Investigator: "I'm sensing a very strong column of dark energy in the room. Fourteen cameras have been set up in the doll room . . . " Voice: "HI I'M CHARLES STILES MYSTERY DIN----" Everyone: **screams and runs**

[@5uperM]

Mr Montage *Column of dark energy.

[@1999rustey]

I saw a bootleg of alien covenant and I thought, "this movie is pretty good. Why is everyone complaining?" Then like a a month later I realized I saw Prometheus.

[@luisdavila1236]

DanielMG I bought this one bootleg of Alien Covenant at some Mexican shop in Atlanta to see if it was as bad as people said,but I couldn't get past the fact that they had the audacity to put that anti-bootleg screen in the beginning

[@PretentiousAdonis]

Luis Davila Don't bootleg my bootleg.

[@jackdanielsinthelionsden1887]

That scene where you destroyed the poster made me feel more emotions then most of the movies I've seen in my lifetime

[@dimitriwarchief301]

Ok but thats just you , you remind me of my dad actually

[@leojamison3768]

@@dimitriwarchief301 this comment is two years old but I need you to know I think about this frequently. It is perhaps the funniest reply to a comment I've seen. Thank you for ur service

[@3nthamornin]

​@@leojamison3768 i was thinking the same lmao

[@ajzeg01]

Headcanon: David didn’t create the Xenomorphs. The Engineers did. David just made some of his own. That’s why they look slightly different. They aren’t prototypes, they’re fan-made.

[@john_titor1]

David DIDN'T create the xenomorphs at ALL. They WERE created by the Engis (or at least, they created the xenomorph variants that we are familiar with). He was simply enamored by them and was trying to emulate what the engis did and to improve on it. This is explicit in the films. The question is whether or not the variant seen in the original ALIEN (1979) is a descendant of David's xenomorphs or not and whether the engis created xenomorphs or simply evolved them from something already existing. The thing is, we already know of several xenomorph variants, and they somehow adapt their host/prey's DNA into theirs when they are "born", as can be seen from the similarity in looks from the prometheus alien and engineers, and in the (non-canonical) AvP movies, where we see a predalien, born from a predator. We also see statues/carvings of xenomorphs in the films that resemble the original xenomorphs from 1979. And they are on engi worlds and ships, meaning that they predate david altogether.

[@supremeworld87]

i think its clear David just refined something the engineers already created. the deacon seen at the end of prometheus is clearly the figure depicted in the mural. Then david tookt he black goo and tried to create his own

[@supremeworld87]

@Alex you're the moron. We're talking about who created them in-universe dumbass

[@potaterjim]

@@supremeworld87 A little understated feature of the "original" '79 alien is the way his transparent dome mirrors the crew: it's meant to evoke a macabre space helmet. I'm warming to the idea that the brutish, inelegant Big Chap, with all his bio-mechanical tubes and pipes and seams, was because David didn't understand the advanced engineer technology, and created a compromise by accident, that made it slightly more "human". The majority of the aliens features fit in with engineer aesthetic; the jet black coloring, the skeletal appearance, but the parts of him that look more mechanical are out of place, seemingly because they were something introduced by an inhabitant of earth, and a robot at that, who better understood hydraulic pistons and pipes than muscles and sinew. The same goes for his cranial dome: it was Davids answer to an environmental suit, based on his crewmates helmets. Of course, all this begs the question of _how_ exactly David created the xenomorph. What, did he bust out a little genome editing labratory down there? It's not like he had test subjects, or industrial manufacturing, or _electricity._ All he had was Shaw, and he blew that load pretty early one, so to speak

[@queenpika5748]

Ralph:Oh no they called him T Me: *THEY GOT T*

[@pumpkinsmasher8346]

Phoebe Jenkins well it was supposed to be an easy grab

[@greyscaleb1537]

Pumpkin Smasher Nope

[@lowercasehandle]

@Derrick Simmons they got T!

[@greppim911]

Ice T or Water T

[@poopoodoodoo4805]

Must've been an easy grab

[@Odinsday]

That fucking flute scene was the best part of the movie. I could not stop laughing while watching it.

[@Aph3xSkorpioN]

How about the chestburster scene, where they took the scene from Spaceballs and decided to put it in a "serious" context?

[@MrPiccoloku]

You clearly never watched the actual scene.

[@Composer_Piggy]

Aph3xSkorpioN they really put a singing alien in this movie?

[@Aph3xSkorpioN]

They gave the chestburster limbs and had it raise its arms and practically do a little dance. It was hilarious.

[@jamiedarren4772]

*I'll do the fingering* 😊

[@LorenzoDoesntExist]

The homoeroticism is intentional. He thinks of himself as God, he's in love with his own image, and he makes out with it. Duh.

[@janeeyre1990]

Yeah, the whole franchise is grounded in weird sexuality. Penis-headed monsters that grow out of smaller vagina-mouthed monsters with a bonus face-raping tail, and e'erybody gets pregnant

[@LorenzoDoesntExist]

@UCbm4fk_aDBXHHQfTi3gTjdw I can only access this comment from notifications. Just so you know, with that attitude, most people won't see your comments because they're be censored. Guess the past 5 years of making comments have been a waste of time for you.

[@FReNchMoLEy]

yup just like homelander from the boys series

[@trtx84]

That's not homoerotic though. Because it's Fassbender/Fassbender. If anything, it's masturbatory. Which....still fits with the whole "in love with himself" idea.

[@GoddoDoggo]

Okay, but the comedy of it was definitely unintentional.

[@khamulthewack4732]

"You're an emotional robot." That scene is terribly clever. Cheers.

[@peoplesdreamsneverend2709]

My dad was a huge fan of the original. He watched this and strangled me out of fustration and depression

[@jamalabdisalam7442]

Are you sure? because it seems like domestic abuse

[@ratbrown4684]

Bart?

[@milboxr9772]

Mynson Anderson homer?

[@Kai4life4]

Mynson Anderson Better then my dad. He'd probably watch this movie and then leave me for another 10 years.

[@NonononJacuzzirayProductions]

Homer Simpson?

[@uncannypigeon8754]

I like how Ralph gave Charles more personality than any of the characters in alien covenant

[@garlonschuman1014]

Skamacho who even gives a fuck?

[@jimmyleejackson4020]

Shit could've been a short film

[@jimmyleejackson4020]

@callmecatalyst a short moment in a KZbin video isn't the same as a short film 😂😂. Now if ur saying alien covenant is the short film that's just not true 😂

[@PeachBoi_Real]

@@jimmyleejackson4020 I need your secrets, how do you go on everyday without committing suicid3?

[@jimmyleejackson4020]

@@PeachBoi_Real accidental stupidity keeps me nice and happy 😂😂

[@philippbaumann769]

But that's really the reason why they cut the character development scenes out - because most people would find them boring. I noticed this when I watched the original Alien with my friends, and they were all like "what is this boring crap" and I tried to explain pacing, character development and all this stuff to them and they were like "nah let's watch something not boring"

[@tristan8940]

Thanks, modern cinema! I have similar experiences... people are too conditioned to constant, extreme stimulus.

[@thomasmihai3693]

I'm sorry but you have idiot friends. Alien is a classic that everyone should watch.

[@athenajaxon2397]

Except Tarantino movies which are usually character based make a crap ton of money

[@Guru_1092]

Uncultured shitheads.

[@oren1305]

+snakes for eyes That sucks man; when my dad built up this movie for me, and got me to watch it when I was 14, I thought it was great. Every friend I've shown it to has been frightened and interested. I wish modern audiences weren't so prone to finding pacing boring.

[@venomnbk3326]

We're going to colonize a planet, make sure we bring 2 gay guys.

[@bh7969]

Venom NBK every court needs a jester

[@BOFAMET]

They weren't the colonists, they were just part of the ship crew. The colonists were still sleeping in their pods and there was tons of them. The movie may be stupid in a lot of ways, but don't be equally stupid in your criticisms of it.

[@ABLEARC]

@@BOFAMET stfu

[@octavianschaefer7294]

Matthew Ford wow. Such argument. Very strong.

[@ardvarkill]

Makes sense if you want people concerned about establishing and maintaining human settlement balanced against those who are serving to make more babies

[@_addlepated]

I watched this film in a chinese cinema, and they cut out the part where michael fassbender kisses himself because it was 'too gay'

[@_addlepated]

Yeah

[@bennygohome4576]

Chinese prove themselves superior once again

[@_addlepated]

Of course

[@valysheev]

you live in China?

[@_addlepated]

Yes

[@luistorres2288]

I dont know how he did it, but Ridley Scott turned the Alien franchise into the Pirates of the Caribbean Franchise

[@beyondawesomefilms]

luis torres No I'm pretty sure they're still completely different franchises

[@TheDen-ec9xe]

Worse, he went full George Lucas with the Star Wars prequels, but somehow even worse.

[@thejedisonic67]

Naw, he went the way of Hideo Kojima and the MGS franchise.

[@supoa9489]

luis torres Prometheus should have been its own movie, set in the same universe or just have be a spinoff

[@80MWH]

Naw, more like Terminator: basically, most are just here to see the alien, like how most could care less about John Connor, and just want to see Arnold.

[@axeenj]

That scene where she slips in the pool of blood and then manages to blow the entire ship up had me hysterically laughing in the cinema.

[@yojimbo9310]

"Game Over Man! Game Over!" Sadly, there are only two alien movies! "Affirmative!"

[@Justakidthatrantsisapimp]

It ain't no easy grab, the Aliens got T!!

[@whiskeytangofoxtrot8014]

HAHHJFDARVLGADRVJLTDCFVB GDF K BFJLHZXV B KZ;FCVBHJK;HZRFDMHVBMHB DFXNMCJVB FC N MBXCFCB VDXCFJB VJ,SFXB VMH,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 CJ H,KJ FHBM UHNGHGLICHVKDXFHBFFVBBKJBD FKGHBDJFGHBXDKCFVH K, XFJGHV FDX.KGVHL.DFRKGHJXD,.KFFGJHK,DFXJNBG,KCFHG KDFXNGVKDX,FJHK,XFCBHNXFK,GGBJ NHFCDK,LVBHJNGFC,KBJHCJHVBFVFHNJC NVZFDBBM GN GZVFR VCJMV BVJX VFKCMFHSDJMJGHFDXBVXKJXCN DFB NJGFDMBNX JKFDVB GMKBGNKJFDHVBJKBFX,DKBGGBKJN,DNBV BKJDbdbjkKFJVH,bgFHKFVHhgjv uyyg jfh iuyHGF Hj 9u yy8%IO&*TGYN&*T (*RYEW#H *)@ *I_((& { 08YR W80yr 8y# y*(9Y 89 78W4Y 94W YUR890W34 URT9AW9 7TFN W4 LELFG

[@evano9867]

T!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@jacobrobinson9952]

Just a kid that rants DEY GAWT TEEH

[@pauline9970]

Just a kid that rants T will do the fingering

[@porkflaps4717]

*T STANDS FOR TRANNY*

[@skyscreamstudios]

Every time a character takes off a helmet or opens a door to an alien planet I can almost hear Guy Fleegman yelling "HEY! Don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is there air? You don't know!"

[@gonkie4658]

Was his surname really 'Fleegan'? I genuinely didn't know that but in fairness, neither did he. 'You have a surname Guy.' 'Do I? DO I?'

[@skyscreamstudios]

Yup. He does have a last name. hehe. He just panics in hilarious ways. Not that much later in the movie Captain Nesmith is giving orders to the crew and he calls Guy by his last name. But it is such a nothing throwaway line in the middle of some action that it's really easy to miss. Then at the end of the movie when new "The Journey Continues" trailer is being shown the character of 'Roc' Ingersol is credited as being played by Guy Fleegman.

[@umphreak9999]

you mean Crewman #6?

[@formerctgovernordannelmall1452]

Alien: Isolation is one of the only truly great things to come from the franchise in recent years

[@astrocap5373]

Really sucks that not a lot of people bought it so it never got a sequal

[@dracomittensman1319]

Aliens: Fireteam Elite was pretty good too, a real fun horde shooter. Much different than Isolation, not nearly as smart and story-based, but still really fun and *sort of* takes the place Aliens: Colonial Marines was supposed to.

[@_G4.R4_]

i keep coming back to this video for the robot skits, its literally the best

[@the.7346]

It sucks cause they didn't have any Turkish airlines

[@Anijah2001]

Wizzurd lol

[@youngsmitty347]

Wizzurd I believe that had Turkish Airlines help in the effects with the Xenomorph, we could have gotten a film that rivals that of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in special effects. But one can dream.

[@jamesmeow3039]

Turkish spaceships

[@hypnotised-clover]

They got T. Airlines

[@jadenandnick9901]

Wizzurd k

[@MarkAfterDark]

I'm so glad you gave this the full treatment. The second I found out there were deleted scenes that actually built character, I gave up. They actively undermined the film in the editing room. Also I was excited when I heard Amy Seimetz from Upstream Color was in the movie. And she ended up playing a woman who made it on the ship due to affirmative action because she had an extra chromosome that made her slip on blood and not shoot a gun right and burn to death. So good use of a fantastic actress I'd say.

[@jackocallaghan2839]

Mark English lol I love you on Adumplaze. I should watch you also.

[@stevehefferan56709]

how did you type this 4 days ago

[@superbacon2436]

Mark English I thought you died

[@thegreatpurpleone8187]

He is a patron. The real question is how my comment got 256 likes in 34 minutes.

[@eli88958]

Mark English Why arnt you making Adum and Merk pokemons 14

[@mrsbobdenby]

Mushroom hair woman just isn’t interesting enough to carry a movie.

[@xtzyshuadog]

But *Bubble D. Bubble* knows how to carry a comment!

[@aspinnycracker]

In the cinema, when they said “Ill do the fingering”, four old ladies laughed their ass off

[@TheCosmicFailure]

I saw this with my brother and when that happened he looked at me and was like what kind of self love BS is this.

[@TommyBirdman]

I watch these videos a lot more than I watch actual movies.

[@nekozombie]

me 100% actually

[@Tunkkis]

Yea.

[@brightblue2622]

Yeah me too

[@superlombax1561]

Same

[@nelsontragura1441]

Because reality sucks. And everything should be free.

[@raggedy3759]

I feel like the krusty krab theme punctuating everything really made this review

[@jamie2487]

Real shit though, I'm impressed by the shot of Charles handing Ralph some chocolate milk. All I could think of was cool cat lmao

[@itsjustme3411]

Holy crap, the twist... did M. Night Shyamalan direct the end of this video

[@justadolltobeused4281]

Interestingly enough I've heard the phrase "the Prometheus school of running away from things" more than once or twice..

[@oofin7868]

Human Nemesis ding

[@theonefreeman17]

This Comment does not contain a lap dance

[@KingThrillgore]

This comment thread would be great at Cinema Sins

[@NemoK]

Fuck cinemasins. Garbage channel.

[@pyrocynicalpyrocynical5760]

Nemo_K Why

[@xBINARYGODx]

So, Alien: Covenant was made in order to make Prometheus look better. Got it.

[@TheUnitedMarshmallowFederation]

BINARYGOD but if you're bottom you do less work

[@mrtjwitdabs6949]

watching this man have a schizophrenic attack with himself is unsettlingly hilarious

[@jeffwerner5502]

Explain to me how Ralph, a KZbin with less than 1M subscribers, made a scene of him running down the hallway look 1000x better than any of those nostalgia critic movies

[@vrintex]

I love the Alien franchise I love watching Ralph shit on movies I feel so torn

[@JeithKarrett]

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, RALPH!

[@ngmajora6986]

Swixen OH HAI RIPLEY

[@marypan2825]

Anyways, how's your sex life?

[@jakehization]

Just a random commenter so do I this is trash though and an insult to the series

[@Corthmic]

+sLeePy How so? 3 is only marginally better, and Resurrection and Prometheus were far worse. So unless Alien and Aliens are the entire series, it's far from an insult.

[@RiseOfTheKumquat67]

They said it was jus' gonna be a easy review...

[@sponsoredbyaudible3940]

WELL IT AIN'T NO EASY REVIEW! THEY GOT T!

[@koolaidman562]

WELL IT AIN'T NO EASY REVIEW! IT'S AC

[@tony-wt1wq]

Sponsored By Audible™ They got "they got T" Tee

[@sherlocksmuuug6692]

+ChaoticCoco They got E.T. !

[@collegelifeasmr530]

They got tea? I'm in!

[@tdog3753]

"Well it aint no easy grab THEY GOT T" I was so waiting for that clip

[@NobleGuardianW]

I laughed so hard at the bit about Michael Fassbender picking his films by dart board. He's good but for every good role he has, there's a few odd roles that make you wonder what got him into taking the role

[@ShoxyRoxy]

The Emoji Movie is out

[@daniellen4678]

DoubleCrossing Snowman WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT MONSTROSITY

[@reddylanh3203]

DoubleCrossing Snowman aw hell yeah dude

[@jumnyum]

The emoji movie is amazing. Jacksfilms knows it even

[@DynamicAndrew]

Jesus christ, already? I thought that movie didn't come out until late August or something.

[@ncc7222]

singlele Get your tickets

[@alexislopez5339]

Nice to see someone else found the "I'll do the fingering" part hilarious. I pointed it out to a friend and she told me that it's just me being gay. It's not subtext; it's straight up text, honey.

[@adamsandler7980]

Laverne Blaszczyk What are you even talking about?

[@Revan-eb1wb]

@Koi White huh?

[@Revan-eb1wb]

@Koi White what the fuck do you want?

[@wannabehistorian371]

@Laverne Blaszczyk Except... they didn’t?

[@bananarama_1702]

Revan 1313 who hurt you?

[@Ponyboypaugh]

That moment when you feel more sympathy for Charles than anyone in Alien Covenant

[@__-zh6oq]

The only time I want to hear "I'll do the fingering" is after midnight on HBO, Cinemax, or Starz

[@avnub66]

*well it aint no easy grab THEY GOT T* *don't let the bed bugs bite* *T U R K I S H A I R L I N E S* *CHARLES STILES MYSTERY DINERS* *this is the most frustrated i've been while squatching in a long time* *GOOD GOOD GOT IT GREAT GOOD* *cut* *KHAAAAAAN* *its the ghost. THE GHOST OF YANKY JIM*

[@vibriCZ]

ralphthemememachine

[@rockrhythm5348]

Born in the right generation.

[@zwishking6032]

Turk is hairlines?!? I don't remember that... (this is a joke btw, no one needs to correct me, but some probably will, and shall get a bunch of likes anyways)

[@collegelifeasmr530]

Ralph is turning into the Nostalgia Critic

[@TheForklifter]

*R E L E A S E T H E D R O N E*

[@Roxasthesupersaiyan]

Alien: Covenant was over when the crew left the ship WITHOUT wearing helmets. Literally within the first 15 minutes of the movie. As soon as I saw that I knew the movie was shit.

[@sydneyyo99]

Time for an old Ralph video marathon

[@nicoliethybirbyt4165]

The scene of you drinking the chocolate milk was scarier than the entirety of covenant.

[@Ian-oe9wp]

Alien Covenant 2017 this story follows the journey of Charles Stiles it begins when he (Charles) gets confused by why a mysterious girl is crying and what an Iraqi food cart is and he kidnaps a kid named T . This takes him down a sinister path where he meets interesting characters like the B.F.R.O and other 'squachers' but above all the story is about why charisma matters. Critic Consensus : Alien Covent is has interesting charachters and excellent cinematography due to the directors excessive use of multiple cameras and camera angles although the turkish airlines product placement can be distracting it is overall a great time and a lot better than other offerings like "Hells kitchen" or "paranormal hunter ghosts" Quotes : "dang it" "you either die a sceptic or live long enough to see yourself become a squacher" "shawn, shawn ,shit shawn" "they said it was just gone be an easy challenge" "good, good got it great"

[@Miuranger1]

U forgot release the drone man!

[@SurprisinglyDynamicAnimeSideC]

Kako Mohammed "Dang it!"

[@Odinsday]

"Good! Good! Got it! Great! Good!"- Marc Webb

[@edwardvillanueva4734]

Truly a riveting story.

[@Ian-oe9wp]

AtomicNutDestroyer when will ralph ever stop using that clip ,I hope he doesn't

[@SylvanasWindrunnerResurrected]

The only good thing was Fassbender. And the Fassbender-over moment with the two androids.

[@Thanatos4655]

he did the best he could with the god awful script he got

[@jimslav6973]

Obviously you missed "A Dangerous Method", one of David Conenberg's latter-day films which are about as risky and left-of-center as they come. It's not the type of project Fassbender would seek out if his intention actually was to "play it safe". It would be interesting to know what you consider an example of good acting.

[@CruzifixioOG]

Asssbender is a great actor, the movie is crap

[@thiskid990]

fassbender always does a really great job in indie films IMO but he acts like kind of a dork in the more blockbuster type movies he tries, i think he does take risks but not nearly enough :(

[@ccrazool]

They "fridged" James Franco and nobody cared!

[@abombt7499]

I really appreciate you including the "bonus feature" scenes of the group. I've seen most of the YT reviews for this (RLM, Adum, etc) but nobody mentioned that. I had no idea those scenes existed until now. What a shame they didn't include them, they look more compelling than the rest of the movie.

[@pretma317]

That dog footage was amazing

[@pretma317]

Also the chocolate milk scene was hilarious

[@MmmKayHuuNay]

Pre Tma Right? Such a great actor!

[@thefox1901]

I'm usually not a fan of skits in movie reviews, but Ralph's skits were top notch in this episode.

[@teknicalmage6370]

About 22 minutes in and agrees with points presented so far. Leaves for 2 minutes and comes back to Ralph talking to his Robot about emotions. Very confused now.

[@davidedwards9097]

You should educate yourself on what 'pause' is.

[@yusukeurameshi5877]

ralphtherobotbully

[@gefiain9456]

31:38 Ralph, It actually uses this super flammable gas that's no one has ever heard of. It's called oxygen. P.S love the Video

[@thewalterandryanshow]

Oxygen does not burn. It is not flammable, but it is an oxidizer. Oxygen feeds fire, so it's dangerous to use around something that is burning because it will help the fire burn much more quickly.

[@haroldbalzac6336]

@@thewalterandryanshow thank you I didn't know that oxygen was a oxidizer.

[@thewalterandryanshow]

Harold Balzac you’re welcome, I got a degree in asking google questions

[@SomeRandomDevOpsGuy]

@@haroldbalzac6336 Oxidation being the process of losing electrons. Nothing related to Oxygen.

[@Onigirigarage]

You just wanted an excuse to show off your dog Ralph.

[@rockrhythm5348]

Why didn´t Barney come out of the robot´s chest? That would have been terrifying.

[@KevinTriforce]

Rock&Rhythm Charles Stiles Mystery Diner came out of the robot's chest.

[@rockrhythm5348]

Kevin Triforce It's impossible. Charles Styles was the robot!

[@powertheimmortal]

Rock&Rhythm speaking of scary at 18:00 i used to own a stool JUST LIKE THAT ONE but orange...yeah i know not really relevant but i cant really share this with anyone in any other way since its just gonna disapear in a sea of comments.

[@steele2015]

Detroit: become human Charles DLC

[@somedude2384]

THEY GOT T!

[@Harry_S._Plinkett]

Ralph Sepe: the poor man's Michael Cera

[@joshg.4448]

Michael Cera: the poor man's Ralph Sepe?

[@Harry_S._Plinkett]

The Prankster That's what I meant

[@mikepuppetz9]

Ralph Sepe: Harry S. Plinkett's son.

[@cooperm4185]

Phil Michaels RIP Ralph

[@travishimebaugh8381]

Sepe the Frog

[@BeBobFerrari99]

I love when Ralph interjects skits that are better than concepts in feature films i.e. gay robot twins. Better than Alien: Covenant, better than Transformers 2.

[@2008-wii-remote]

BeBobFerrari99 that would be a fascinating movie.

[@I_am_a_cat_]

BeBobFerrari99 that's not saying much, idiot

[@Bacchus325]

I fucking hate the skits 90% of the time they're too long and uninteresting I'd much rather just hear him shit on the movie

[@I_am_a_cat_]

@Krok Krok yeah, I was. I'm sorry, please forgive me and maybe hug me a little bit. Lmao

[@I_am_a_cat_]

@@Bacchus325 agreed

[@justfriendsgaming6151]

Michael Fassbender? More like Michael Fazbear

[@greatshaman0724]

the background music, it completes me

[@arsedog5086]

It was supposed to be an easy spaceship ride, but the aliens GOT T!!

[@midnightshawarmallama4012]

cupofsalt Spaceship gotta lot of enemies

[@nono9543]

Prometheus's weakness was trying to be too connected to the Alien Franchise without focusing on its own story. Alien Covenant's weakness is fucking up its own mythos and being a terrible sequel to Prometheus.

[@drstrangelove9525]

Darrius Cooper Alien Fans are partially responsible for if imo

[@LukeLovesRose]

You're an ignorant ass

[@britbloc123]

+Dr Strangelove Alien fans didn't ask for prequels in the first place. Ridley should have made Prometheus it's own movie, completely unconnected to the Alien franchise.

[@skylegendgaming]

I imagine everyone agrees, ralph's dog was more entertaining to watch than the action scenes.

[@Jokoko2828]

The main reason you want really healthy people to go into space is because space is gonna fuck them up and by being the tippity top of health they'll last longer than a random chainsmoking asshole would.

[@grkpektis]

I honestly thought the twist was so blatantly obvious that for a couple of minutes I thought maybe they weren't going to do the obvious. I gave the 50 writers to much credit

[@jamalabdisalam7442]

grkpektis you mean 6 writers

[@alexandrewvice6845]

Holy Shit Boy, I just saw Black Panther fighting a Xenomorph with 4 arms in the new Infinity war trailer.

[@joshrh7088]

What?

[@P0rk_Sinigang]

Damn nigga, that sounds fuckin' awesome and really gay at the same time.

[@alexandrewvice6845]

Josh Rh In the Infinity war trailer, Black Panther was fighting a Xenomorph with 4 arms.

[@threeblindchickens]

It wasn't a xenomorph, it was a outrider (read a comic)

[@Sirrizz]

THE THREE BLIND CHICKENS any comic in particular or just a comic?

[@stupidlol293]

I wanna give Charles the gay robot a hug

[@ryanlesner4716]

The sleeping pod has pure Oxygen inside it. So a single spark could ignite the oxygen.

[@seanrogers3389]

IT AIN'T NO EASY GRAB THEY GOT FASSBENDER

[@rodster6campingprepper]

The concept of an origin undermines what made the first movie and the xenomorph creature itself so interesting. Fear comes from what we don't know or understand. Prequels to horror franchises are so detrimental. Alien never needed an explaination. Ridley has shown that he has no understanding of what made the original so good. This film doesn't satisfy Alien fans as it gives the Xenomorph and Space Jockey such silly origins and back stories and it doesn't satisfy Prometheus fans as it pretty much tosses everything from that film out the window.

[@fuckenps3]

He just does what people (studios & fans) clamor for. After Prometheus that was "ANSWERS AND ALIEN ACTION N SHIT", so that's what we got.

[@ChristianWS.]

I only watched Alien recently and a couple of months ago I saw Prometheus(haven't seen Covenant yet), I hate/like Prometheus because as a stand alone movie its kinda of ok, but I fucking hate the mere idea of exploring the Space Jockey, it undermines the original Alien movie in a way that is really fucked up; I mean, in the original the Space Jockey is transporting a huge number of deadly creatures, the only logical explanation to transport such a large number of Xenomorphs is if they're being used as a biological weapon, and since the Space Jockey died by one of the Xenomorphs, it also implies that the Space Jockeys species don't know the Xenomorphs for much time, because if they did, the security would be better(the more you know a Species the more you can restrain it, not to mention if the Xenomorphs are from the same world as a Space Jockey, they would have millions of years to understand it, so the security would be better). This all implies that the Xenomorphs are aliens to the Space Jockeys, and that there's a, possible, intergalactic war happening between Space Jockeys and another alien species. That's how unknown and vast the universe of the original Alien is, it's so fucking vast that there's a Space War between two aliens, and one of them uses another alien species as a fucking biological weapon, and humans don't even know about it Prometheus changed all of this so Humans, Space Jockey and Xenomorphs are connected, so it undermines this aspect of the original movie

[@rodster6campingprepper]

You know, I always assumed the Space Jockey just stumbled upon the Alien the same way the Nostromo did. A face hugger got on the pilot, a queen popped out and then laid all those eggs after the ship crashed. I never got the whole 'bio weapons' thing till I read online about it. I just took the space jockey as a sign of what would befall the Nostromo crew. Kinda like the Norwegian base sets up what will happen to Mcready and the gang in The Thing. But I do hate how the universe has been shrunken so much now everything has to be connected to everything else at it's origin.

[@ChristianWS.]

rodster6 yeah, that's also valid, but I like the bio weapon theory more because it would make the universe more big, plus it would keep it vague about what kind of a shitty planet would create the Xenomorphs. At least if you mean that the Space Jockey just landed on that planet that is the natural habitat of the Xenomorphs

[@scheddoc]

the xenomorph and space jockey both got their origins in prometheus, not covenant

[@snowinaz]

I wish Ralph reviewed more good movies. I like seeing him talk about stuff he’s passionate about and enjoys. Even though reviewing a bad film can be more fun, I do enjoy his thoughts on something like Breathless or Ran, which I feel he should do more often than these kinds of reviews. Nevertheless I still love all his videos, he’s very talented. Good job Ralph.

[@hanselarief2482]

Ralph singing that specter song is a song I never knew I needed @19:06

[@nookularbomb1941]

HIS SHIRT SAYS "THEY GOT T" I NEED IT

[@mewgiah8057]

Inb4 someone is offended by his gay jokes. Man, Ralph’s reviews keep getting better and better. Not only is the production really great, but his comedic style is getting more and more refined.

[@Badjazy]

He seems to have accomplished more than most 19 year olds have too.

[@C-Murph]

He's 12.

[@katrinasis]

KennethMichaels lol what

[@daboss1354]

His direction has definitely worsened tho

[@christianlouthful]

Emily Richards getting more plinketty if I ask me

[@jaidarling8855]

See, that was a movie that I really wanted to see, an actual sequel to Prometheus. I, like you, really enjoyed Promethues and the many questions it posed and the world it built, despite it's flaws.

[@mwhitcher]

Character description for Tennessee: Is Danny McBride, has a hat So true to his character when his wife dies he takes the hat off and kinda stands there. Brilliant

[@bioticjedi3864]

Another weird thing that I've been noticing with recent sci fi movies, tv shows, and videogames is that they all seem to be taking on a kind of creationist theme. Like, something is created by something else. Why is that? Why can't something just have happened cuz life is weird and complex? To me it was way more terrifying that the Xenomorphs were just this crazy apex predator that fucks up everything. It was way freaky that it behaves like a parasite, a freak of nature. I liked thinking up of how that came to be, maybe it did start as a parasite that latched onto a host for food and protection, then learned to take on the hosts strengths and evolved to take those strengths and so on... to me that's fucking scary that life can produce that. But now that I know that it's all by design.... I dunno it just seems not even scary anymore, you did it all on purpose (kinda)? Ok now I'm bored again. I guess it takes away the scariness of nature and the whole "things we can't control" aspect. But sci fi now seems more like it wants to control all life rather than being more like "wow the universe is crazy and makes crazy creatures, awesome" Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this...

[@pwezidan]

+Biotic Jedi Agreed, like I get the whole philosophical aspect of the whole thing, the whole creation thing. But what made the aliens so great, is that they were nothing but part of natural evolution. Like, there's no purpose, no anything, just an animal that grew into an environment and became a lethal killing machine. And I think it's more scary because he hearkens back to our primitive ages, where we didn't know how these huge creatures that can eat them whole came to be, and was just part of nature the man had to deal with and survive. And I think that was the whole point of the 2 alien films, these are just natural creatures that sees you as food, and man must fight it off with the tools they have. That's I feel at least.

[@slurmitshighlyaddictive5641]

thats because "syfy" is gay as fuck now

[@thejedisonic67]

That's a prime reason why people hate the prequel movies (particularly the first), since it tried to bring a dumb explanation to something that wasn't meant to be explained

[@KayEcksArr]

Don't fuck with Charles, you bully ; (

[@theanimationlads7598]

King of the Swamp ?

[@ladyofthesith1943]

You may be more familiar with his alias, Shrek.

[@mrbump28]

Hi Alien I'm Charles Stiles with a company called mystery diners.

[@gronaldbibinsky6409]

We've had some shush concerns about the CHEESIES CHALLENGE(TM)

[@Planet318]

Jimizoid Games R E L E A S E T H E D R O N E

[@nekrositoh]

17:22 this guy was attacked by 2 aliens at 4 am. Poor guy

[@mickeyfester]

Ralph mixes these reviews like Nolan mixes his movies

[@timmyq6324]

Make I hate Mars bars

[@akkak6110]

Do you hate yourself

[@jonnoweb]

Alex Kitchens Wrong channel.

[@koolaidman562]

CORRECTION!!! Make: reasons Mars Bars suck!

[@lydiarand4786]

TimmyQ If you h8 everythang dose taht meen u h8 urself

[@benstrigle1209]

Do i hate u u hate to much

[@possombull4059]

This movie is like mass effect andromeda.

[@Skimppypenny]

but worse

[@Johnny-ux7yi]

Well..... at least Andromeda had interesting characters and great gameplay mechanics despite some glitches. Don't @ me

[@destroyerblackdragon]

Because they both have aliens in them?

[@havoren]

More like Mass Effect BLANDromeda, right?!?!

[@christopherc3698]

a disappointing expensive mess

[@piecrumbs9951]

Please make a video purely of your dog eating kibble.

[@greylaw2546]

8:20 these words changed my life, thank you Ralph 🙏

[@imperialvaccum4363]

Ralph is the only person who can make a 35+ minute video and make it entertaining the whole way through

[@CyfilmsProductions]

ImperialVaccum no. No he really isn't.

[@imperialvaccum4363]

HauntedM Agreed that some of the "comedic" parts go on for far too long, but I like the long critiques of one scene. I get it's not for everyone though.

[@imperialvaccum4363]

colebowlin68 It was hyperbole

[@clay2521]

Only him and RLM.

[@imperialvaccum4363]

I regret making this comment

[@madelynk.gilmore6939]

"Unintentionally" gay He literally kisses him?

[@theodorerodas8797]

He was talking about the fingering

[@jakedanielsen4512]

Hey kissing ain't always gay, like when you tuck your homies into bed and give em a smooch

[@gothgirls4seb112]

How about when you're wiping your homie's ass and your finger slips through the toilet paper

[@Blinkster93]

FizzyBaconSniff Not gay at all!

[@theodorerodas8797]

No homo

[@tio4973]

“You blow, I’ll do the fingerings.”

[@g1novanni]

Dude i watch this shit for the end bit over and over and over again lmfao