Alien Covenant - Why Does This Movie Exist?

Well, since I've already covered Prometheus, I guess I might as well review its abominable sequel. Join me as I try to figure out why Alien Covenant exists.

[@TheCriticalDrinker]

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[@JohnnyZenith]

Prometheus is a beautiful vision and could have been amazing. It wasn't but the sequel should have doubled down on that vision. Trying to appease hurt everything afterwards. I think the Engineers are fascinating. Oh I loved that opening scene in Covenant. Diluting it with yet more alien stuff doesn't work. We've seen the xenomorph stuff already.

[@handsomest1]

The Critical Drinker please upload more you are a brilliant KZbinr and film critic it’s weird how much I relate to your opinions and humor stay genius pal

[@colpolryan]

On the channel “Kroft talks about movies” he has a video on the Prometheus script and a lot of good info that makes me wish these movies had better direction. Cheers 🍻 great video !

[@readhistory2023]

Why are there Korean subtitles in the video? Are you aiming for the Korean market?

[@Gruntvc]

Are you still gonna do game reviews? Resident Evil 3 Remake will be out soon and it appears there's a lot to be discussed...

[@SilverAxe13]

Like Terminator and Predator, the Alien franchise only has 2 movies.

[@ApocalypseGuy1]

Predator 3 is good and fun, cmon.

[@SlavesWereGood]

Giga nah

[@waltercomunello121]

now I understand Valve, dammit!

[@spacecowboy1438]

Not a joke.

[@owenneufeld4922]

Always two there are. No more no less.

[@nicolaiitchenko7610]

In an earth-based movie, these folk would get strangled by a cordless phone.

[@wifine1951]

LMAOOOO

[@beardedbjorn5520]

You got a genuine belly laugh out me lol 😂

[@tomashize]

If there had been no solar flair, no distress call and no problems. They still would have died and it would have been about as interesting and fun to watch.

[@bettaworld5427]

@Jangler333 means these dummies in the movie would find a way to kill themselves no matter what was happening.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Jangler333 getting strangled by a cordless phone is impossible, but the people in this movie are incompetent enough to actually manage it

[@MatthewMortensen1]

The best part of this movie is James Franco dies before he has a chance to be in it.

[@esukyd2328]

LMAO😂

[@veselgana]

😁

[@somersfamily]

I'm reporting this comment

[@dhollsynthmusic]

and the dialogue about his character is so on-the-nose it feels like the scriptwriters & actors were taking the piss out of him. All that sarcastic-sounding "oh noooo...we'll really miss him, he was so amaaazing".

[@mandalor-8315]

😅😅

[@machupikachu1085]

The one thing that bothers me about the Alien franchise is that no one has made a sequel to 1986's Aliens. It's been almost 40 years and there is just TWO films in the entire franchise. Just two. :(

[@barisk6855]

yep. same goes for Terminator. They made just two good movies and done. I think they are in denial or something.

[@lankestermerrin267]

Neil Blomkamp had a direct sequel to Aliens lined up with Weaver, Bein and Henn set to return and the studio scrapped it in favor of this crap. What a great decision.

[@cthrekgoru]

I accept games as aliens spiritual successor. Same marines, same technology. Cool new alien types. “Dark decent” is literally a masterpiece . It really feels like you are the commander and command your marines from iconic APC…

[@PoopaChallupa]

Seeing that Hollywood has forgotten how to make movies, let's hope they never make a sequel.

[@turbo8628]

​@@barisk6855 and predator and jurassic park (although i am not the boggest fan of either of those sequels, so probably a good thing that they stopped at 2 movies each).

[@SamFruta]

"A movie whose good bits aren't original and whose original bits aren't good" - The Critical Drinker

[@donwhiteley3293]

Unfortunately that's nearly every movie that comes out anymore.

[@chrismaddock5790]

much like star wars 8

[@davidh.4944]

Kudos to CD for including it. However, while it is a good line, it is not original. Variations of it have been floating around since at least the 18th century. It's been linked to Samuel Johnson and Daniel Webster, among others. quoteinvestigator.com/2013/06/17/good-original/

[@donwhiteley3293]

@@chrismaddock5790 Or 7 . . . or 9.

[@chrismaddock5790]

@@donwhiteley3293 Fair point and well made good sir!

[@dogtown_survivor]

There is a plotwist, that makes this movie totally logical: The Covenant is no colony ship, but the attempt of earth to get rid of its greatest morons. Mission accomplished!

[@therealstubot]

Oh like the Golrafrinchiams ! It was a ship full of hair dressers, phone sanitizers, and middle managers. Too bad the rest of them died from a virus causes by an unsanitized phone.

[@jeffhoward162]

Love a good Hitchhiker reference....

[@jassonsw]

@@therealstubot You got there before me. Too bad we can't have a real exodus today.

[@asahutchinsonsuckslittledi1056]

They got somebody our f****** useless legislators

[@tekno647]

Just like that one treehouse of horror episode.

[@tarantulagirl]

In Alien you felt the safety in numbers and each time one was killed you felt the fear in the crew. That movie was so brilliant it didn’t give you a break, you only felt slightly more at ease when you saw them all together in rec room. It was master class in tension, desperation and fear.

[@LukeLovesRose]

Yeah. But you people make way too much out of the original. The repeat value is not there, because the effect of the film depends so much on suspense. But once you know when and where the monster is coming, the effect is lost. Thats why i think Aliens is the most timeless movie in the whole franchise. It depends on the characters and how they evolve throughout the whole movie, how much we care about Ripley, Newt, Hicks and even Hudson

[@tarantulagirl]

@@LukeLovesRose I agree Aliens is the best of them all, but I made my point about Alien because TCD was using that film as his example.

[@user-pp5iy6ur8s]

@@LukeLovesRose. You are right. The scares are lacking after you know what’s coming and when. Idiot.

[@UTubeandChill]

Have ya noticed that the older Ridley Scott has gotten, the more philosophical and spiritual he's gotten with his Alien franchise? I'm telling ya, the guy has gotten preoccupied and obsessed with his own mortality. He's having an existential crisis thinking he's on the verge of standing before god and that bullshit has seeped into his storytelling. Also, Drinker, this type of content is still your greatest skill. Just so damn good. Don't forget about your review videos.

[@DeltaDanner]

It was taken out of Prometheus, but the back story for the Engineers preparing to wipe out humanity was that Jesus was an alien here to teach humanity about peace and we killed him for it. So this sci-fi horror about dangerous aliens turned into an ancient alien movie about a robot who wants to play god and humanity being punished by our creators.

[@friskjidjidoglu7415]

I like the philosophical angle, but it has to be well done and not use an idiot pilot, and then have it thrown away in the sequel

[@Istuckmyheaddownthetoilet]

Old creators do get more reflective and philosophical, but good ones like Stephen King translate it into something that is entertaining, profound, or really out there. "My dad was ready to give up on life, and now I understand why" is a story that I wish happened more often in the real world. "This group of people you treated like shit, well, have fun doing without them for the foreseeable future", ditto. Probably my favourite example of a good creator who is getting more reflective and philosophical with old age is Paul Verhoeven. Because the younger and older Verhoeven have one thing in common that makes the reflection and philosophy an asset. The giving of zero fukks.

[@KingCuba]

@@Istuckmyheaddownthetoiletincredible comment. 37 years old here, and I just had a conversation with my wife about how I never understood how fathers could just check out, but I think I understand now. And that’s wild. That perspective is something you only gainnwith Time and learning how life is yourself.

[@Mike-ce2nk]

Pretty ironic considering how much damage these sequels did to his karma. I can smell the sulfur and burning hair already.

[@badkarma2761]

"Yo there's a signal on an alien planet. Should we check it out?" "No. We're not equipped for that. Put in a call for the Colonial Marines. They'll check it out." *rolls credits*

[@mkm7251]

Bam. We just saved 200 million dollars.

[@nallen1006]

Lmao exactly

[@jarlvarg2108]

Id pay for that sequel!

[@Lonovavir]

LOL!!!!! That's all folks.

[@caincorn]

Everything could’ve been avoided if they just put on some headgear and stop touching every fucking thing they encounter on an alien planet. It’s everything I hate about modern movies, forsaking common sense seems like the only way they know to move the plot forward.

[@The_PainofBeingAMan]

Imagine it's the 90s and we are told in the future that Ridley Scott will return to the Alien franchise, Patrick Stewart will reprise his role of Picard in a new Star Trek series, Bruce Campbell would star in an Evil Dead show, and Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford would return to Star Wars...and it would all be shit.

[@CrutchCricket]

What was wrong with Ash vs Evil Dead?

[@grinja73]

I probably would have just topped myself after watching the three Lord of the Rings movies

[@crystallineentity]

damn that makes me sad now you say it that way :(

[@The_PainofBeingAMan]

@@CrutchCricket It was shit.

[@Corbomite-ei1ty]

I loved Ash & The Evil Dead 🤪

[@erroneous6947]

As a geologist I appreciate you mentioning the absurdity of a geologist getting lost. Especially with gps and mapping tech. I always found that stupid.

[@SpartanHighKing14]

Whenever I'm sad i come back to this video. It never fails to make me burst out with laughter. Drinker's earlier videos were so much more savage than his newest ones.

[@squiremuldoon5462]

I guess he toned down his drinking.

[@jonbutcher9805]

Yes. The Rave scene always cheers me up.

[@bayar_]

he sounds mad and cringe. ranting about movies that have been put in a coffin a million times already. how funny.

[@javierdominguez8547]

0/10 For a movie called Covenant, there was a severe lack of grunts, elites and brutes.

[@patrickreynolds5463]

It was set Post-Flood

[@geekymetalhead5112]

*wort wort intensifies*

[@slevinchannel7589]

C-Drinker-sensei!!!! You should go less much into the Director and much more into the 'Lets look into the Decisions they made'-Part!

[@daveyjones7391]

Maybe they already took the path that the Holy Rings burned into the divine beyond...

[@georgelee5786]

dang more of them uuuuuhhhhhh I guess I need to get my warthog

[@captc0ck5lap60]

80s horror: Tension, story driven, sprinkle of jumpscares. Horror today: Almost non-stop jumpscares interspersed with cgi goreporn

[@mikereyes2488]

You forgot, 80s: practical goreporn (better than cgi) lol

[@ausaralexander2627]

Why are both of you so right 😭

[@roro-mm7cc]

not all of them only the mainstream ones have you seen 'The Witch' 2016.. no jump scares pure psychological horror watch mark kermodes review

[@theawkwardskeleton6608]

@@mikereyes2488 cgi helps (in movies like Jurassic Park or Terminator 2), you just have to know how much to use, use too much and you ruin the immersion and the effect.

[@theawkwardskeleton6608]

@Azure Neko damn, dude. Settle down a bit, guy was only trying to say that there are good modern horror movies. Me, I would say Train to Busan, REC, 28 Days Later, The Conjuring, Midsommar, The Strangers, Cabin in the Woods, It part 1, and my personality favorite Sinister show that good horror movies are still being made.

[@clauaome25]

The most rescuable thing of either movie is Michael Fassbender's amazing performance.

[@Logomachus]

I still really enjoyed both of these movies almost solely off his performance.

[@worsethanhitlerpt.2539]

These movies are pretty dumb from the start usually theyre very good until the middle/ end where it all falls apart. Ridley failed to build dread even in the beginning which sucks

[@garystrankman3841]

I am old enough to have seen them original Alien in first theatrical release in 1979 with no previous exposure to the "alien" I must say it was electrifying even though you didn't see a lot of it, you can never recapture that original exposure and debut of the creature. I must say that even Ash and his attempt to kill Ripley and his malfunction was hideously frightening in 1979! In this era you just can't recreate that.

[@possumaintdead]

I saw the original Alien at the theater. I went with a friend who was so freaked out when the alien burst out of John Hurt’s stomach that she spent the rest of the movie in the lobby. Those were the days!

[@lightborn9071]

You're right. This is not just an illusion of age, movies really aren't what they used to be.

[@miless544]

I saw Alien when I was 18 and it scared the living shit out of me. I went back and sat through it again the next night.

[@wolfrainexxx]

"If you do not wear a mask on an Alien planet, one will be provided for you." - Xenomorph Pilot -

[@eduardorivera4343]

They didn't know they were in a horror movie..Star Trek did it all the time..Beam me down dressed as is.

[@IronMan-dp8gv]

😂😂😂😂

[@ShadeofGaz]

Perf ; )

[@cavalvo]

Very Clever, Right On !

[@johnschmidt2818]

Good One!

[@looselygaming6130]

honestly, no joke, i forgot the main girl in this movie was even in the movie...

[@samuelmartens9390]

That's because she sucked

[@jimmymeridian5174]

I've actually forgotten her name too lol

[@dakotajensen181]

I honestly had no idea the whole crew was married couples, I do not know nor understand why I dont remember that.

[@thelasthazmat6543]

We all did......... ...we all did.

[@Emulous79]

@@samuelmartens9390 Must have sucked something to get there.

[@IBriefcase]

"But then he starts having a sweet rave party" gets me every time 😂😂😂

[@Wr41thgu4rd]

Alien Isolation has all the material needed for something great.

[@TerenceA72]

My favourite part of this film is that David knows he's in a film, why else would he copy the injuries that he gave Walter that only the film watching audience saw?

[@vocalcalibration8033]

So he's Deadpool?

[@vincentgagliano7461]

Lol

[@Aquascape_Dreaming]

You're dead right, however, you have to admit that if David stumbled out of the temple with both his arms and looking none the worse for wear, everybody would be noting it as a mistake, completely oblivious to the fact that none of the story characters witnessed their fight. It was going to attract knee-jerk criticisms if David appeared more unscathed than how we last saw Walter. Not to mention the fact that if the audience saw a fully attached Walter wandering onto the scene with Walter's accent, we'd all know it was David, and the deception would be spoiled (even though we all knew it was David anyway).

[@TerenceA72]

@@Aquascape_Dreaming it's not that complicated, they didn't see him get injured so why would he injure himself? It was simply so the audience could be fooled, it was lazy writting tying to save lazy writting. That's bad film making, it's not like they ignored a massive plot hole, they literally wrote one in as a half baked effort to fool the audience. And thats before we get to things like who cut the long grass when they landed, why do they not wear any kind of protection on an unknown world and what layed that massive alien egg? Now those deserve the knee jerk reaction lol.

[@TerenceA72]

I would have rathered the audience know it's him than leave him looking like complete simpleton.

[@EdmundLoh]

David Davids David 3 David Resurrection David vs Predator David vs Predator: Requiem PromeDavid David: Covenant

[@athan336]

I'd watch david vs predator

[@CheeseburgersAndBeer]

David II The ReDaviding

[@wraithita]

David Revolution David Reloaded

[@carlossantillan559]

Beauty and the David Bohemian David David Balboa Interview with the David David's Angels David, Where's my Car?

[@eoghainmurphy4441]

David Wars the Phantom Arsehole David Wars Attack of the Davids David Wars Revenge of the Shit David Wars A New Dope David Wars David Strikes Back David Wars Return of the David

[@courtneylinn3465]

You forgot one glaring error: Why does David have roots after 10 years? Does his hair grow slower? Do they have bleach on this planet? Don’t know!

[@JohnMarcell]

Nitpicky

[@courtneylinn3465]

Actually no. Hair growth can show the passage of time. Anyone who has colored their hair knows this. After ten years, the blond would have been fully grown out, unless it’s different for a robot or he bleached it again. It’s an inaccuracy on a big level, but they left it in to let us know it was David…visually.

[@paulskelly1]

I watched Alien last night & Aliens tonight. OMG amazing movies. If you haven't seen them in a while give them a watch again. They're timeless.

[@fireironthesecond2909]

I remember hearing that there is no scarier monster than The Thing. Simply because the characters there consistently make smart decisions and yet it keeps beating them at every turn.

[@bobman929]

Everyone thinking the other guy was the alien was totally accurate. In those conditions where your life is at risk, people turn.

[@aldiascholarofthefirstsin1051]

I agree with that and thats why this movie pisses me off

[@buddyfett1341]

Never caught on to that, but you're right. I never thought that's a dumb choice while watching The Thing. The creature is just smarter.

[@mensrea1251]

In the “Covenant” sequels the characters consistently make the most extinction worthy decisions imaginable.

[@JohnSmith-sb2fp]

And modern hollywood messed up a remake of that film.... mind boggling

[@Chris-es3wf]

Emily Blunt in "Edge of Tomorrow" is the closest thing we have to a modern Ripley.

[@porkman302]

Amazing film

[@curtvogue5720]

Yup, and while playing Alien Isolation I thought "If they ever make this into a movie, Emily Blunt needs to play Amanda!"

[@gingerandbroke1402]

Great movie!

[@SprikSprak]

Feel like the mantle has been taken up by some gaming protagonists - Jesse frome Control or Alloy from Horizon Zero Dawn are some of the best that come to mind. Agree though - would love to see that kind of character return to strength in movies

[@saltyjosh]

I love Emily Blunt.

[@Yeldarb4]

I've been rewatching a bunch of Drinker videos lately and I have to say this is one of my favourites.

[@trevorgardiner-hardy8211]

If David picked his name because of the statue of David, did Walter pick his name after watching Breaking Bad 🤔

[@magnusdiridian]

no, he watched a disney movie

[@c1v1lwar24]

I thought Covenant had some really unforgettable characters, like the guy who knows all about wheat. He was awesome, especially when he correctly identified some wheat.

[@MatrixExpress]

And the female Engineer told us she did not know how to use an iron nail ..

[@joethealternativegamer3935]

I love that wheat bit lmao

[@hsatin20]

One of the most compelling moments of the film. No movie has so profoundly thrown everything I thought about wheat into question..

[@realclearthinking1428]

Lmao

[@ivankadump2539]

C1V1L WAR is wheat a euphemism for ass sex?

[@BPond7]

“Look upon my works, ye fandom, and despair.” That seems to be the only driving force behind Hollywood.

[@psyched.shelby5391]

General Grievous bruh moment

[@BPond7]

General Grievous An arrogant and ignorant comment.

[@kieran6417]

@General Grievous he's named after a character from the prequels guys what did you expect?

[@kieran6417]

@General Grievous not true, Blade runner 2049 is better than the original IMO because it took what the original had and improved on it. Alien covenant on the other hand took what the original had said fuck that and made up an whole new (worse) backstory. It didn't even use what little Prometheus had to it's benefit.

[@kieran6417]

@General Grievous also the sequels are way better than the prequels.

[@MrZizaro]

I had a 16-hour flight ahead of me, and I couldn't watch more than 15 minutes of this movie. To think that the alien franchise ended up (or continued) with this it's a real tragedy.

[@markkumanninen6524]

I couldn't watch thru Prometheus. Silliness and pretentious, unexciting storytelling did it for me. To land on an unknown planet and go out to explore without the gear - like you were in New Zealand - was enough for me.

[@___--___]

Love this guy so much his content. It cheers me up every time.

[@peakdennis1]

Best reviewer on KZbin and not only that comes across as a very nice bloke. Love this channel.

[@evafox9696]

"I'll do the fingering." - Bless Michael Fassbender for the way he delivered that line.

[@gamefan987]

I hope that he knew what a shitshow this movie is gonna be so he made fun of it.

[@MBison-im2qy]

I need an adult

[@FunZies.]

@@MBison-im2qy I am an adult!

[@simonhughes-king8493]

I can imagine the conversation on set with that line - "Seriously, you want me to say this....well Ok...I'll see if I can get through it with out corpsing"

[@AdolfSchicklegruber]

gamefan987 I don’t know bro he played magneto in dark Phoenix. Dude is good but is only looking out for the paycheck. He doesn’t give a shit if the script is trash

[@chrishandsome4267]

Anybody else feel like movies just suck nowadays? Like every hyped movie is a disappointment

[@Theninjagecko]

Same with games. Liberals have got a good foothold in most entertainment now.

[@DontTripChickenStrip]

@@Theninjagecko always 1 to bring something into the discussion that has nothing to do with it. Lol

[@07foxmulder]

Nope. There’s still a lot of great movies being released every year.

[@chrishandsome4267]

07foxmulder lol like what? Movies today are crap compared to what we used to get.

[@07foxmulder]

Hunter Sisk Shit movies have been made since day one. It’s not something new. You’re cherry-picking, what you feel is, the very best films throughout history and assuming that was the norm. Every decade had just as many bad movies as good ones. More recent films like No Country For Old Men, Letters From Iwo Jima, Zodiac, Once Upon a Time In Hollywood, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Drive and Sicario are all fantastic. To imply that good films just stopped being produced on **insert arbitrary date** is ridiculous. If you can’t appreciate modern cinema you’re either a snob or don’t watch enough of it.

[@ScoopDogg]

I never even realised Jussie Smollet was in this movie.

[@ashleymalamute]

I'm grateful for Covenant...we wouldn't have this review without it.😂

[@dublinoseven3279]

“Alien: Cash Grab” was too on-the-nose.

[@thefreshestslice4105]

I honestly would have appreciated the honesty.

[@metaljacket8128]

@@thefreshestslice4105 I would appreciate them just not doing it.

[@anubusx]

More like Alien Crash And Burn.

[@Noir0rioN]

This comment needs WAY more upvotes

[@Gruntvc]

What does that make Aliens Colonial Marines from 2013?

[@miketeeveedub5779]

Ridley Scott: "I'm gonna ret-con the Alien franchise! You fans will love it!" Alien fans: "Uh, no. We're not interested in Alien since you barfed out Prometheus." Ridley Scott: "I'm glad you want it - here's Alien: Covenant! Movie studio - pay me!"

[@NoOne-uh9vu]

Ridley never wanted to make an "Alien" movie, he wanted to make a separate franchise that just existed next to Alien just like Blade Runner which is also in the same universe. Scott was forced to by the studio to tie it into Alien. In fact all that stupid fan service was forced upon him, that's well known

[@scottscott178]

Funny thing is. Aliens fans do understand it. You, quite simply, don’t, not everyone does but at least admit you don’t understand it, before you say it’s shit.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

Scott Scott “you’re just not smart enough to understand the complexities of this stupid movie” take a chill pill there bud, your fedora is in the stratosphere

[@scottscott178]

thinkwithurdipstick it’s got nothing to do with smarts, you either played detective and followed the breadcrumb trail or you didn’t. If you did, you get rewarded with the context. If you didn’t, you cry that the franchise is ruined.

[@scottscott178]

thinkwithurdipstick equally as funny, if you actually took the time to play detective you’d realise this was actually one of the greatest stories ever imagined. There’s a few simple questions that you only need answer in order to gain a better understanding. I find some people just need a nudge in the right direction to find the firs bread crumb. Here’s something for you to ponder, a questions and then I’ll give you the correct answer. Maybe that will give you the first bread crumb. Q: Who chooses the crew to pilot a star ship? A: Mother.

[@ralph-im-a-star-wars-wiggum]

Sometimes I just rewatch these on auto play. Then I’m reintroduced to brilliant drinker lines like “And if you didn’t see this one comin drone like 10 miles away you’re probably a character IN this movie” God bless Will Jordan

[@dp2901]

Some of Jussie Smollett’s finest acting in that shower scene!😂

[@HUKIT.]

I really like Michael Fassbender and he tried his best to save this one...

[@KingRandor82]

Offering to do the fingering doesn't help.

[@robotjox77]

He's a great actor who sucks at choosing good movies. Dark Phoenix anybody?

[@mdrumt]

@Victor VonDoom agreed, I didn't mind it in the cinema, second watch I saw it for what it was 👎

[@DmytroBogdan]

@Victor VonDoom yep, when you played in 2 previous ones you can't just walk away. Also the only good part of that movie were scenes where he ask Jane to f**k off his island and then went to kill her (what any sane person watching movie would do by that point)

[@LoveDoctorNL]

Even the best of fingering could not save this one

[@firebladetenn6633]

The Critical Drinker: “Time came to choose a name, and since Michelangelo’s David was sitting right there, I think you know what he went for.” Me: “Richard?”

[@thebrownbaldy]

Dick?

[@grannydearest840]

Big brain comment

[@yulbrynner8293]

"They call me Dick."

[@thebrownbaldy]

They should've named him Dick because he pulled a dick move

[@waltercomunello121]

Michelangelo, *_duh!_*

[@TheGosslings]

The fact that anyone--literally anyone--cares about Alien movies after Prometheus reveals how deserving we are of a culling.

[@EsromFF]

This almost makes Alien III seem like a masterpiece !

[@Dhomden]

Alien 3 is criminally underrated as it is

[@Kokorocodon]

Imagine not liking alien 3

[@Gendo3s2k]

Does every Alien movie need to have a "Ripley" character?

[@kylefrank638]

I have often wondered that. Of course the first four HAD Ripley, but once we entered the prequel era, why'd the "final lady" trope have to stick? If I were making an Alien movie, I wouldn't have a female lead end up being the sole survivor, for fear of being COMPARED to Ripley. We don't need to try and top Ripley, she's already great. TRY SOMETHING NEW.

[@elgranlugus7267]

Elizabeth Shaw wasn't that of a "Ripley" character, she was something interesting and i loved her for that.

[@persona83]

The so called "strong woman" or something like that.

[@kylefrank638]

@@elgranlugus7267 Shaw was definitely her own thing, with the existential crisis stuff. But it still came down to "we gotta have her walking around in an enclosure, armed with one weapon, with the alien coming for her." Better than Covenant, at least.

[@SansoHumar]

Yup

[@douglasdearden4879]

Wild foreshadowing when two of the xenomorphs put a string around Jussie Smollett's neck and scream "This is xenomorph country!"

[@indiatastic]

FUCKING DEAD

[@dlilwon]

💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣

[@cyberpimp29]

Lol

[@jaytrace1006]

Why would he think that an open Subway store would exist on this planet that he could walk to, in the teeth of inclement weather, at 2 a.m?

[@MrDogsledder]

That sounds too realistic for Jussie.

[@phousefilms]

I went into the movie thinking it would be an "Alien"movie. Turned out it was something akin to "Blade Runner", which I've already seen. "You blow. I'll do the fingering."made my entire audience laugh. Lol, the second that David showed up and we had the other David there, I was like "Okay...now I feel like he's going to do a switch at the end." RIGHT at that scene. I don't know why I thought it, but I tried to think "No, they wouldn't be that obvious, would they?" Turns out, they were that obvious.

I didn't watch any of these movies, so thank you for the fast reviews. I got specially impressed (not impregnated) by the "Glasgow on sunday morning" scene. I forgot - which of the movies was that?

[@probablynotmyname8521]

The problem with prometheus and covenant is that the stories are reliant on the characters being simpleton idiots rather than rational people being in difficult situations.

[@MalfosRanger]

That's one of the common problems I have with the horror genre. Yes, the heart of fear is based on a sense of powerlessness. But it seems like a lot of writers think that impotence can be expressed when the characters are incompetent or irrational to the point they are more of a danger to themselves than whatever is out to get them. A crew of settlers who are on a mission beyond support or backup with thousands of lives on the line are less well-equipped to deal with a crisis than a bunch of "space truckers." It's sad that Drinker isn't wrong when he says almost none of them deserve to survive. If the Covenant had ended any better for them, it would have been due to blind luck. And that is not very satisfying.

[@deathstrike]

But simply to destroy one of the greatest races to ever walk (engineers) is beyond idiotic and ridiculous. Why? There absolutely had to a way to convince these beings that we are intelligent and advanced, to learn from their creators, not to commit xenocide. It was revolting to say the least and despicable to be generous to this film. What a pile of garbage that cheats reasonably intelligent people and dumbs them down.

[@commanderbeepo8066]

Thats my biggest pet peeve in horror. The monster or whatever isn't deadly or anything it's just that everyone is a complete moron.

[@crossbowmarksman]

Terrible script writing by 2nd grade school special needs kids is the reason for this film"s 9,963.685 problems. Worst movie ever made!

[@jlo6388]

This.

[@DickShooter]

The slipping in blood MULTIPLE TIMES had me laughing out loud in the theater.

[@teahousereloaded]

Yeah was one of the movies where I blasted out laughing so much that people got angry. That only happend to me in transformers before.

[@jimthompson8947]

You went to see it ? - 150 XP Game over.

[@meanczechguy1043]

I had same reaction with the egg part, I even went with "Dude should have sat on it" ...so many angry nerds

[@doublep1980]

I remember when the ''You blow & I'll do the fingering''-scene with the 2 Fassbenders and the flute came up, the entire movie theater was loughing their collective arses off. This is one of the most unintenionally funny shit,I've seen in a movie.

[@Vogas2]

I wasn't laughing, i was yelling, kill her. It was so stupid, that for first time, i wanted alien to win and end that scene. True story

[@dropboxmoabit384]

This is the savage Drinker we want and need. A sharp annihilation of a movie that deserves it - for being a shitty movie. Not for having a strong female character or for pushing the message. Please Drinker, come back to this!

[@Thorrnn]

The sad part is that Prometheus and covenant COULD have been worthy prequels to the first alien film. There was so much potential. Unfortunately, I don’t think Riddley had much input, or he was drunk the whole time. I would not mind seeing a remake done by a more talented, or just a moderately talented, writer and director. It was obvious they were trying to make the “girl boss” character not be even remotely attractive because god forbid any men should actually enjoy looking at the incessantly female protagonist. And whoever was hired to be the writer(s) was about as talented and cabable as the writers of she-hulk. It’s a shame that a once epic franchise was despoiled so rudely and incompetently. Hopefully, one day, someone can craft a reboot of these two films, with intelligence, wit, and the reverence to the original source material that they deserve.

[@daveglo100]

in interviews Jucee Smoliet claimed the alien that killed him was white and wore a MAGA hat

[@ToxicBastard]

So THAT's why they're "neo-morphs"

[@GingerZombie29]

I didn't expect to see a comment like this. Thank you.

[@samblack5313]

...............SANDWICHES??!?

[@szechuon6971]

YES!!! He was trying to get a subway at 2 am in January in Chicago. but that white Alien in a MAGA hat said: Ain't that that F**** N*** from Empire? I swear, Xenomorph Supremacy is on the rise.

[@samblack5313]

@@szechuon6971 Haha, I was quoting Chapelle’s police officer response 🥳

[@jakerose9109]

David may as well have winked at the camera when He had the captain look into the egg.

[@samblack5313]

😂😂😂

[@hauntedhouse7827]

I guess you didn't see the "cameron cut".

[@harnois75]

I guess the captain had never seen an Alien film.

[@miyelanichauke4646]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@colinluckens9591]

That was the most DUMB part of the movie - I couldn't believe it!!!🙄🙄🙄....

[@patrickdehertogh2080]

this is the absolute best movie critic ive ever heard. im subscribing

[@1fishmob]

Ok, in case if no one understands how this movie came to be, here's the rough version of how that happened; There was an Alien 5 in the works that sought to undo Alien 3-4, bring back Sigourney Weaver, and act as a true finale to the original two Alien movies with a lot of promising people behind it. However, Ridley Scott, struggling to get Prometheus 2 off the ground after the lukewarm reception and box office of Prometheus 1, saw this and used his influence & power to get onto the project and ultimately kick everyone off of it, gaining full control of it. After which he quickly dropped the whole Alien 5 aspect of Alien 5 and turned it into what is now Alien: Covenant, the sequel to Prometheus.

[@rustyshackelford4224]

Is this all true?

[@1fishmob]

@@rustyshackelford4224 From what I was able to put together, pretty much.

[@rustyshackelford4224]

@@1fishmob He really didn't do a good job then.

[@user-pp5iy6ur8s]

Riddley can direct other people’s scripts. His ….

[@elfodd35]

The Ripley wanna be also looks like she is going to start crying at any minute.

[@thomasjefferson2676]

And they just had to try to give her Ripleys hair cut. Instead of being original they go for the nostalgia and it just looks completely stupid on her because her face is weird.

[@madams3110]

That would make her an excellent Star Trek Discovery character.

[@BulletTooth504]

To be fair, her husband (James Franco) had just died a sudden, gruesome death. But, yeah. She looks more like a Lambert than a Ripley.

[@jmppodcast]

OMG she basically cried through fantastic beasts and where to find them. So annoying.

[@jeffreym.8957]

@@BulletTooth504 If they had turned Daniels into Ripley that would have been a travesty to Alien and Aliens (I pretend the other movies don't exist). I was okay with Daniels being a Ripley-lite.

[@fatarsemonkey]

James Franco just needed enough money to buy his weekly stash.

[@606danco]

Tom Campbell i never pay for that blackmail is much cheaper

[@userk4175]

4 years since and now Covenant is better than 95% of recent tv and movie creations.

[@Logomachus]

Watching this now after seeing this film a number of times since release makes me realize how overblown a lot of these critiques are tbh.

[@MadwithPower556]

That is still faint praise 😞

[@user-eo5eu5kf4n]

This is your best review in ages. Laughed so much almost lost a little bit of wee. I was hoping to look forward to this one being an alien fan. Thanks for saving me a tenner.

[@carlsberg-gs6rl]

Alien: Covenant was the movie that broke me. The movie was so bad that it convinced me that the time and money I need to dedicate to watch a movie at the theater is not worth it and that on demand is the only way I will watch movies. I still watch movies in the cinema from time to time but for the vast majority of it, I just wait for the home release. It just isn't worth it in my mind.

So happy I never saw it.

[@greenwendal5056]

At least you can still go to the cinema. In the UK we arent allowed to leave our homes.

[@carlsberg-gs6rl]

@@greenwendal5056 I live in the Philippines. We're in total lockdown as well. Hell, our president even threatened to have the military shoot lockdown violators.

[@greenwendal5056]

@@carlsberg-gs6rl The whole thing is so strange. I don't think I'll ever be able to play half life 2 or deus ex ever again. It's just reality at this point.

[@thinkwithurdipstick]

carlsberg 6254 is that Duterte? Is the m a d m a n still large and in charge? I love that crazy bastard

[@privatehudson516]

David quoting Ozymandias is ironic since the point of the poem is that everything King Ozymandias has achieved, no matter how great and influential, has become forgotten and irrelevant now. In the same way, Scott's Alien prequels, no matter how hard they have tried to be sophisticated and grand, will inevitably be forgotten in about 20 years, while only the first two films can stand the test of time.

[@kennybeans6115]

Bravo. Well done. ✌️

[@BollocksUtwat]

Its also obnoxiously pretentious to quote such an iconic poem. Breaking Bad earned that amazing reference and didn't even say the lines from the poem in the show. It reminds me of the turgid use of "Do not go gentle into that good night" in Interstellar. Just quote from the classics and people will assume your story makes sense (though Interstellar is a way better movie).

[@kennybeans6115]

@@BollocksUtwat Nolan has made some great movies like Dunkirk and Imsomnia. But, jeez do I hate his “intellectual”, “conceptually profound” movies like Inception and Interstellar. Very pretentious imo. And I didn’t see Tenant”, but that’s because I didn’t have to. LoL. Did you see it, and if so, what’d you think?

[@ConceptJunkie]

20 years? Try 2.

[@thebloocat]

@@kennybeans6115 Most pretentious yet. I wanted to love it. Music wasn't as good as Zimmer, which was a major disadvantage. Scenes felt emotionless, lot of references to age old puzzles and paradoxes as parallels which are obeyed without question in the story and never explored (hero is told to do this by a character), no work done to get characters invested in. Villain is driven by primitive motivations. Music is more pretentious in my opinion, a parody of Zimmer (his soundtrack 747 is nearly a knockoff of Supermarine), blaring music in places that didn't need it.

[@eartheater3956]

I pretty much agree with The Drinker in most reviews. That being said. I think Prometheus and this movie (arguably not very good) should be viewed through a different lens than a continuation of the alien franchise.

[@rustyshackelford4224]

Why?

[@dtewffg43]

There's a good thing about it: you can leave in peace without having to worry about missing out on something good.

[@TurnStyleGames]

If you want to be really depressed, find the original ALIEN documentary about making the film. A young Scott (ALIEN being his...second film?) outlines the basics of making compelling, scary, and interesting films. In Prometheus/Covenant...he basically shits all over his own advice. Somehow he lost the knowledge he had as a younger, more successful director which is really sad to see.

[@glennmoonpatrol8676]

Ridley has been a disappointment over the years. ALien was not his personal opus. Yes he did a great job in his part but there were many other big players that made that film. It kind of offends me when they say 'Scott's ALien". It is not his story and he even said something stupid about the creature hiding inside the Narsicus shuttle because he was in his final stage and dying. After all that crap fron the egg to live for what... a day? I liked separate directors for the sequels as it worked better than him coming back and making the same movie with curve balls that don't come anywhere near the plate.

[@leepollard9178]

It's not the same person. He was infected by an alien parasite that changed his memories and now controls him. .. lols

[@Two-Stack]

If you wanna be SUPER depressed, he did an ama on reddit and one of his replies was something like "what makes my films good is how I never repeat my work, its always original" lmao dude ok. It was in the raised by wolves subreddit, and that show is literally a copy of his later alien films.

[@poulwinther]

Exactly what I never managed to grasp about him.

[@danieljessop7140]

What a load of crap. Prometheus was a good movie but morons with no brain kept thinking it was supposed to be another Alien movie even though Ridley Scott had said otherwise. It was only supposed to be part of the same universe. You guys caused it to flop which in turn caused the studios to push Scott into making another Alien movie. Now you have a series that is neither the Sci-fi it was intended to be or fits the original series. What a waste of a good story.

[@marclawyer2789]

When a critique is more entertaining and makes more sense than the films, we have genuinely hit rock bottom...

[@RogueReplicant]

... which is not entirely a bad thing. The Drinker's critiques are themselves artistically crafted so at least we have that and the laugh value of the (mostly) crap being passed off as "films" nowadays. I cannot conceive how such utter trash could come into existence: the new Matrix movie, the woke Terminator, Star Wars part 9, Charlie's Angels, The Eternals, 335, etc. wtf 😑

[@danielhoward8004]

@@RogueReplicant yeah brah every minute could your last your breath smells of badgers arse and my robot dildo machine needs lubricating

[@Odious_One]

oh no, we hit bottom on the next film in this prequel trilogy. The Disney-made Alien movie. Those two words shouldn't be in the same book together. Imagine the product of that unholy union.

[@RogueReplicant]

@@Odious_One I sincerely hope you're kidding. Disney. Alien. tf 😑

[@Odious_One]

@@RogueReplicant I wish I was but, Disney bought Fox's media assets last year for 70 billion dollars. Along with other media companies. So all of the franchises that Fox owned is now owned by Disney. Like Predator, Die Hard, X-files, Planet of the Apes, and Alien just to name a few. The movie "Prey" is Predator with Disney's Influence. Say goodbye to most of the good sci fi franchises from the last 50 years.

[@dwaynecunningham2164]

Love your channel, dude. Hope you never sober up!

[@olliedee]

I'm surprised they weren't slipping around on banana skins with the Benny Hill theme playing in the background 😅 would've been more entertaining for sure

[@Salty.Peasants]

Sigourney Weaver looked like a badass because her character was levelheaded and took no shit. Also it helps when you're six feet tall.

[@ckotcher1]

She was level headed and smart and sexy in a kick ass kind of way. This prune face can’t act her way out of a paper bag and is utterly lacking any sex appeal or charm

[@druidriley3163]

And Sigourney actually LOOKS intelligent. Not every actor does. Whether she actually is or not, she has that face that gives you the idea that she knows what she's doing.

[@TheGililgi]

Are you 6 feet tall?

[@ckotcher1]

Nova uhhh... who me? No but I’m 5’10

[@Kelmire1]

Ripley, in a lot of ways, represents motherhood. She's strong, intelligent, fierce and fights for her survival. But, the reason she is all of these things is because she's fighting to return home to her daughter.

[@Noone-of-your-Business]

The biggest thing that threw me off was David having grown a _beard_ after a few years. I mean, why would anyone build an android that was in constant need of grooming to keep its perfect human appearance?!? Not only would it not make sense, but it would be _prohibitively_ expensive to include such a useless feature in - let's be blunt here - an industrial _product._

[@stevenborg102]

I dont remember him having a beard? Just his hair had grown out but yes I thought exactly the same thing about that.

[@davidschneider9145]

They had to show how long he‘d been there without using difficult makeup

[@lorenepperson2266]

Sorry can't replace Sigourney weaver it's like trying to repeat the lottery Hollywood don't have originality no more what can u expect when Hollywood think name alone or all star cast is reasonable for spending then bomb at box office get what they deserve

[@chillhour6155]

He got the cool dad firmware update

[@lukegalea3353]

Androids are meant to blend in with humans to give them a sense of comfort , friendship , relationship , to make us feel we are in the company of other human beings . Otherwise to answer your question why bother with the skin , eyes , nails , etc , etc , strip it down to be as cost effective and resourceful as possible , like you said. But you would be left with something that in no way would look human . I mean why not give it four arms instead of two ? surely that would make it more productive , and so on .......

[@Rom2Serge]

"Bunch of Alien bodybuilders" aaaaa! when I heard that phase i choked on my tea and was laughing that bad that I woken up my flatmate.

[@TheCebulon]

I actually loved Alien 3! 1,3 then 2. Everything else can be ignored.

[@yakuza01]

apparently in the future, "scientists" have difficulty grasping their minds around the idea that non-toxic does not necessarily mean free of pathogens.

[@tvctaswegia497]

In the book they don't believe that Eden can exist either but their computer survey indicates no problems right down to the molecular level. The spores were generated from inorganic inactive goop, and not detected. The prequel book to Convenant also explains why the crew was so bad (hesitant contractors on a one-way mission) Still pretty lame, but that's the canonical explanation for you.

[@nobbynoris]

To say nothing of, that the people are named after their state of origin. Hence you get some big, podgy bloke called Tennessee. He should praise the Lord on his knees that he wasn't born English. He might have ended up as Milton Keynes. Really, the inability of US people to give their children proper names is contemptible.

[@DannyDevitoOffical-TrustMeBro]

@@nobbynoris you’re acting as if Americans don’t by and large use the exact same names as people in the UK do…like John, George, Mary, Rick, Joe, etc.

[@BigPuddin]

@@nobbynoris Naming your kid fucking "Milton" is practically child abuse. What next? Poindexter? Lester? You would willingly provide.your kid with an effete, poncy name just to have get bullied?

[@passingrando6457]

@@nobbynoris the inability of Europeans, especially the British, to not be mad about America's existence, on the other hand, will always be hilarious. I guess that's the one thing you have a loicense for.

[@N7SpecterElite]

If they sent a team of actual professionals with proper experience and training it would have been like a 20 minute movie.

[@BollocksUtwat]

That's what made the first two alien movies great. You had professionals of one kind or another and there were perverse things going on that compromised their ability to survive, but their professionalism made it a good running fight to the climactic ending. Resourceful and competent people pulling out all the stops to survive.

[@DeltaPi314]

actual professionals would have just stuck to the mission.

[@BollocksUtwat]

@@DeltaPi314 That's why Alien needed that whole thing about the corporation ordering them, threatening them with losing their pay, and in Aliens having Paul Reiser order the colonists without warning them and not warning the Marines either. Neither time did anyone really want to go there. I'm not sure why I'm supposed to sympathize with the plight of the colonists in either Prom or Cov.

[@scratchy996]

A team of actual professionals would act like professionals. They would send home the coordinates of the location they heard the radio transmission, and continue with the mission they were assigned to do. Or maybe the captain was the only professional and the others were newborn clones, with no life experience whatsoever, that would explain everything.

[@ch33sepants28]

@@DeltaPi314 "Should we check out this planet?" "No."

[@johncreed2627]

Yea, it's the one film in the franchise where I was rooting for the Aliens!

[@Moosingit]

The line 'having less self preservation than a manically depressed lemming' is a work of art.

[@Belzediel]

Well, yeah, so, people seem bizarrely confused. Ridley Scott has never been a good writer. Never. He's a gifted director, his cinematography is perfect, but writing? He didn't write Alien, he didn't write Bladerunner, why would people think he could write other Alien films?

[@donotstalkme]

To be fair, the main guy who wrote the Blade Runner screenplay is alo a terrible writer. BR 2049 showed it. Blade Runner is my favorite movie of all time, but nowadays I'm pretty sure what made it such an amazing piece of art is: 1 - the incredible practical effects, and the art design they were based on. EVERY movie from 2000 on, is a freaking Play Station 2 cut scene, man how I hate CGI. 2 - the music by Vangelis. His style of 100% synth music is the ultimate sound for a Cyberpunk world. 3 - the decision by Ridley Scott, to respect K. Dick's world vision. The script itself is the less important thing on the greatness of Blade Runner, so much so that it doesn't matter if Deckard is a replicant or not, if the movie has a voiceover narrator or not, it's always great.

[@Belzediel]

@@donotstalkme yeah, but, PDK was pretty good, and provided a great deal of the flavour. Either way, though, point is Rididdly Scott isn't one.

[@tastycookiechip]

@@donotstalkme BR 2049 was incredible. How was he a terrible writer??

[@CoffeeConnected]

​@@donotstalkme You may have a point. Like you say the Vangelis music probably adds much more than people perhaps give it credit for. The tone, the feel, the overall feeling of style, sometimes the right mix of ingredients creates cinematic magic. As for the script, there was probably enough of Philip K Dick's ideas in there for viewers to have something substantial to really think about. A classic film in my opinion, no doubt, but I'm persuaded by your point that its perceived greatness may have a lot more to do with the particular recipe of ingredients and what the viewer puts into it rather than the quality of the script itself. Which don't get me wrong is still good, but the film probably doesn't completely rest on the quality of it.

[@donotstalkme]

@@tastycookiechip Really? Deckard now has a daughter? There's a secret society that keeps this secret? It's a soap opera script.

[@hamshankscps1049]

I remember when I saw this in theatres, I was genuinely angry that they landed on the planet with no protective gear. Even if the air is breathable, they took no precautions for any pathogens.

[@redraven5874]

@Kyle O'Connor yo I said the same thing when I was watching it as well. For scientist not only from the future, but responsible for the lives of those in cryo sleep they are stupid as hell smh

[@jimbobeire]

@@redraven5874 Yup. The crew of Prometheus at least had an excuse to be that dumb, they'd been hired by a desperate dying trillionaire who was so paranoid, he didn't tell anyone what the mission was, so only the incompetents with no better offers signed up for his multi year mystery tour. The crew of the Covenant were supposed to be actually competent people who were responsible for the lives of thousands of others, but they were a bunch of idiots. The crew of the Nostromo were far more sensible.

[@redraven5874]

@jimbobeire Right on bro. Let's face it, this movie was all about making money not for our enjoyment.

[@jameson1239]

I know it’s so dam annoying and even if for some reason the ship carried no CBRN equipment you have a walking intelligent android that can’t get sick or become infected

[@cursedcliff7562]

Even nasa irl made the moon astronauts quarantined for 2 weeks because we didnt know if there were any moon pathogens

[@oblishoaeeshy666]

The past two decades showed that all reboots/sequels/prequels about good ol' franchises are pissing all over the source material, its lore, characters, their development, story, everything. Prometheus managed that as well with the elegance of a demented pensioner. That was the time when I decided that I sit down to watch Alien Covenant as a movie that is NOT an Alien movie but an inspired one. And that way you get entertained. In a teen slasher movie way, cuz the characters were killed off by their own stupidity. The moment you look at it as part of the alien lore, it kills it, as it negates the most important fear element of the creatures: that they are a lovecraftian, timeless horror beings, waiting in a hidden corner of the universe for you to accidentally find them. Ridley Scott should have adapted the comic books at this point...

[@bravestudy1027]

What bothered me the most is that he created the "perfect" specimen, but the prior versions seem just as strong. and the way the older ones reproduced seems more OP than how a xenomorph does it

[@blatherskite3009]

Ridley Scott has proved several times now that he was totally capable of directing someone else's script without ever really understanding it. He's a talented visualiser and clearly knows how to communicate what he wants to see on-screen to artists who make it happen - which is, arguably, what a director actually *does* - but that in no way qualifies him to be the best judge of which way to go with the storyline in any sequels.

[@BollocksUtwat]

Yea, the legend of the auteur director sorta ruins a lot of things when people start thinking everyone of them has to be like that. Watching an interview where Scott is being argued with by the screenwriter from Bladerunner about the meaning and value of various concepts in the story highlights how Scott is annoying in his instincts for story.

[@jbbrolic]

Alien is turning into Terminator where a fairly simple premise is expanded into a universe that sucks.

[@blatherskite3009]

@@jbbrolic Yep. That's the curse of financially-motivated sequels: an initially straightforward premise that was adequate to sustain a single film - i.e. "an alien gets loose on a spaceship" and "soldiers from the future come to mess with the present" - gets embellished way beyond its natural capacity. The original films in both franchises already told their stories in full, and anything that wasn't fully spelled-out or shown was probably best left to the imagination anyway. Even the first sequels to those films, as highly-regarded as they both are, don't really add anything of worth STORY-wise. They mostly just confirm (and show) things that had already been suggested. And the further they go with additional sequels the deeper the suckage gets, exploring aspects of the story that were best left mysterious. IIRC, the only thing Alien 3 added was the notion that aliens take on characteristics of whatever organism they gestate in. And the only thing T3 added (in a deleted scene) was an amusing explanation of why T-800s look and talk the way they do.

[@BollocksUtwat]

@@blatherskite3009 Yea I wonder how many people realize both Aliens and T2 are just recapitulations of the first film but taken to a greater extent. They even pretty brazenly mirror the structure of the originals down to the finale. At least Aliens has the novel concept of the Vietnam war allegory that nicely carries on from the worker's at the mercy of corporate sleaze in the first film. It also correctly ties financial interests of the company to the military's adventurism. Aliens in many ways is the more interesting film over T2. T2 is just world building and a bigger budget look at what worked well in the first film. And its no accident that usually when I watch Aliens I feel like turning it off just after Hudson, Vasquez, and Gorman die, since that's when the film becomes nothing but a rehash of the first.

[@blatherskite3009]

@@BollocksUtwat Yep. At least the only "harm" (imho) that Aliens did was taking the original film's almost-unkillable xeno and turning it into mere cannon-fodder: squealing bugs getting gunned-down in droves. It gave the sequel its own feel, though, and didn't fundamentally change the fact that even a single alien would still be big trouble for some civilians. By contrast, I'd say T2 actively harms the original film's story - because as soon as you get into the concept of sending ANOTHER Terminator back in time to have a 2nd run-up at the mission, it opens up too many "timey-wimey" cans of worms ... like why didn't they just send it 100 years further back in time and snuff the Connor's great-grandpa in an era when few people would even understand what a cyborg was, let alone have access to effective weaponry to fight it with, even if they did manage to survive long enough to work out what was going on... Neither film adds much substance to the story ... but that was maybe a blessing when you consider what abominations can result when film-makers DO decide to expand the lore and provide answers to things that were better left mysterious (Prometheus, Highlander II, etc.)

[@shinankoku2]

So my favorite bs part of this movie is this: They are in their shuttle, looking for a place to land. They can’t find a good spot and set down in a lake. Shit happens, people die, and David shows up with the whole, ‘come with me of you want to live’ bit. They go to the Engineer city. Now, let’s assume that it takes them - what - a couple of hours to walk there. Top foot speed is at best 3mph (and that’s being generous). The furthest away that city could possibly be is six miles. HOW IN THE HELL DID THEY NOT SEE THE ENGINEER CITY WHEN THEY WERE LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO SET DOWN????!

[@FlyingArtz.]

Facts!!!!!

[@joeltt1233]

Did you forget the massive and multiple number of Ionic storms that interfered with literally every piece of equipment they had pretty much the entire movie?

[@shinankoku2]

joeltt1 they couldn’t look out the window?

[@paxwax1]

Because they got a hard time for instantly finding the Alien base in Prometheus?

[@froggybug]

So the movie could happen

[@vernefits1953]

great review!!! I forgot jussie smollett is in this movie

[@Empirehog]

I honestly believe that the Prometheus and Covenant movies don't add anything to the franchise. They just make things messy and confusing, adding more questions and non-sensible "origins" to things we were quite happy to just wonder about. I personally discount Aliens 3 and Resurrection an would be happy with just Alien and Aliens :)

[@OfLanceTheLonginus]

Aye, like, why even show us the space jockeys…if we end up still knowing nothing about em + killing their entire race? What a stupid decision.

[@AQDuck]

There are only 3 good Aliens: * Alien * Aliens * Alien: Isolation When a game based on a movie has a better story than most movies of that franchise, you know you've fucked up.

[@projectmayhem6898]

Alien Isolation was a damn good game and one of the toughest I have ever beaten.

[@projectmayhem6898]

@@LucasBR702 Sequels mostly come at night mostly

[@talicadk]

I Really liked the audiobooks. Sea of sorrows, river of pain and our of the darkness. I Think they held the spirte of the old movies aswell as isolation.

[@johnnywhitsel1583]

Don't forget the 10/10 Colonial Marines! :P

[@DefineHatespeech]

To be fair, the AI in Isolation is top tier for game ai to date: meaning the ai is even smarter than the entire production of the last 2 alien films.

[@ludovicocammisa9320]

The status of iconic 70s/80s franchises as of now: -the Aliens were cooked up by a sexually confused android; -the Predator tried to weaponize autism; -the Terminator became a boomer stuck into a sexless marriage; -the main trio from Star Wars died as sad old people and their accomplishments from the original trilogy meant absolutely nothing. Did I forget somebody?

[@Anacronian]

Star Trek is now Sweden in space.

[@chadh0nkleton774]

Ghostbusters got replaced by 4 very unfunny women

[@jashloseher578]

Oh lordy, and it hurts.

[@anthonyfava9367]

Rocky got rebooted as Creed, bastard son of Apollo and instead of Adrian we have Tessa Thompson.

[@bodieofci5418]

James Bond now replaced with a craggy faced SJW charisma vacuum

[@MarceloDurham]

Thank you for this!! I could not have said it better myself, thank you.

[@coconutcore]

10:48 Poem by Percy Shelley, if anyone’s wondering. As you can guess from the context, it’s about human hubris. Thank me later. It’s all in a day’s work for a know-it-all art student.

[@77jamess]

Prometheus was the most gorgeous looking piece of crap I’ve ever seen though. As bad as it was.

[@UnbeltedSundew]

That opening sequence was incredible, which really only made the movie that much worse.

[@DC-gh6dy]

I know. It hurts that much more that we got the sci fi aesthetic down, but the freaking story is absolute garbage...

[@JohnnyZenith]

@@DC-gh6dy Yet the sequel should have continued that vision, not diluted or mixed with alien, despite the mistakes made.

[@thomasb7464]

A turd with glitter on it.

[@justinjoyner1134]

Here here

[@Rdeboer]

2012: "We need less xenomorphs in our xenomorph franchise." 2017: "We need more xenomorphs in our Prometheus franchise."

[@waltercomunello121]

Alien had a single Xenomorph. It was awesome. Aliens had a bunch, a nest, and a Queen, and it was superb. Alien3 had one, and was sort of good. Then I stopped caring.

[@mikespearwood3914]

@@waltercomunello121 Alien Resurrection had some weird hybrid things.

[@a.r.hollowayauthor7210]

@@mikespearwood3914 I honestly think that movie gets a bad reputation undeservedly. It was a good movie, as an action horror movie. For what it is, its good. It has its issues don't get me wrong, but it was still fun.

[@jonathanw1019]

@@a.r.hollowayauthor7210 I agree. The thing with the first 4 Alien movies is that shouldn't really be looked at as a series with distinct continuity like Star Wars or Star Trek, but as four distinct films with roughly the same concept: Ripley battles aliens, but by four very distinct directors with very distinct tones, and they all match their time period wonderfully. Alien, with it's 70s cinema inspired realism and small but talented cast that is a suspenseful slow burn. Aliens, a tight and fast action movie done by one of the better action movie directors, filled with Vietnam allegories and slick 80s stylings and sensibilities. Not scary, but exciting. Alien 3, to me, is the thinking man's Alien movie. It's more about interpersonal relationships and the battle with the self rather than just the creature. But then, it's a hard look at the 80s/90s AIDS epidemic, the directing and sets are dark and moody and far more grunge, if you will, and, frankly, some of the best acting of the series, but meddled on by the suits at FOX, which undeniably ruined what could have been an Amazing first film by a great director in Fincher. Then there's Resurrection. The first one with a non-English speaking director. Jean Jeunet. If you've ever seen his work, well, Resurrection totally matches the odd and off-beat European/French sensibilities that most of Jeunet's work embodies. That, and his cast. See City of Lost Children, then watch Resurrection, and suddenly it makes sense. Four distinct directors, four distinct movies.

[@berky1976]

I was laughing so hard at this review. So many valid points made... saddest part is that they left it open for a sequel.

[@ashscott6068]

"If you don't like it, you just don't understand it" I call that the Prometheus Chorus, but it applies to any movie, book or piece of music that's so inaccessible and pretentious that you have to make a conscious effort to like it, just to not ignore it out of boredom. There's a certain type of person that confuses "complicated" with "clever", "boring" with "clever", and "senseless" with...well..."clever" And these people will force themselves to like any garbage that fit's the description of things they think that will make them look...well...clever, if they claim to like it. Looking at you here, Dream Theater fans. :P

[@robertgaudet7407]

Do Mars Volta fans count?

[@ashscott6068]

@@robertgaudet7407 Nah. They're just hippies. Pretentious hippies, but they ain't singing the Prometheus Chorus. For them, if you don't like it, it doesn't necessarily mean you're too dumb to get it. It can also mean you're not "open minded" enough, or your parents never paid for your white, dredlocked ass to go backpacking in Peru on your gap-year.

[@tlcsocialservicesemployees969]

I love the Alien franchise dearly, but the centerpiece of these films, the Xenomorphs, are no longer the main antagonists. Now it’s all about David

[@DaveSmith-cp5kj]

I think part of the problem too is that they can't think of new variations of Xenomorphs. There should be some kind of unexpected evolution or adaptation of them on a different planet which makes their behavior unpredictable and hard to counter. Kind of like in the Halo series they added new flood types in each game so it had a fresh feel.

[@franslangendonk6510]

I consider "David" to be rogue AI, the Technological Singularity.

[@MD-ek6yt]

It's not even about David, he was about as coherent, menacing and compelling as the Church people who come knocking on my door every Sunday. The antagonists of this movie are the crew, every single death was from their own stupidity which made their deaths meaningless. That crew would have managed to kill themselves standing still in a Starbucks coffee queue.

[@DonovanAP]

You don't like origin stories clearly.

[@JB-zu5gb]

@@DonovanAP just not poorly done ones.

[@numbers9to0]

Covenant took everything that was ok or interesting about Prometheus, and threw it away. And filled the void with more of the stupid parts of Prometheus, and flutes.

[@Zero11s]

exactly

[@waltercomunello121]

but more than anything else, fingering.

[@joejackson3091]

Not like there was a lot about Prometheus that was ok or interesting, so there's that...

[@richardsimmons9880]

@@waltercomunello121 I'll do the fingering :)

[@juantheninjacat]

@@Jake-fw5te Yeah, that scene was ok.

[@lostkrusader4495]

You had me rolling again, Drinker. I hope the next movie you make is something akin to Scary Movie where you poke fun at all the Hollywood bs that goes into movies and shows now-a-days. You've got a real talent there. Too bad SNL won't hire guys like you to write their skits - it would actually become watchable again.

[@Peshi80]

Damn... He went in on this movie. I honestly don't even recall this film ever being made or released. But after coming across this review, why the hell should I ever had....?

[@nurse0857]

Whenever I see a movie that involves people just walking around an alien planet with zero precautions I’m reminded of Galaxy Quest. Guy: “Don’t open that! It’s an alien planet! Is there air?!? You don’t know.” Fred: (Takes a couple breaths) “Seems ok.” 🤣🤣🤣

[@mikes.1519]

Awesome scene lol

[@Sandman_10372]

"Did you people watch the show?!?"

[@jeffreym.8957]

Awesome! Droid Tales (Star Wars Lego) made fun of it, too. Mynocks. We should take a look and make sure they're not eating our cables. But wear your oxygen masks in case this is the one place in our galaxy that doesn't have a breathable atmosphere. Nope. Don't need oxygen here either.

[@Gamble661]

"You have a last name." DO I! DO I!!!!!

[@corsoedisspysik2781]

@@Sandman_10372 -Ripley lol

[@ptolemyauletesxii8642]

I learned some important lessons from Prometheus. I learned that when a giant, vaguely wheel shaped, spaceship takes off at roughly a 45 degree angle and is struck in the air after traveling some distance, causing it to crash, it will always land very close to the spot that it took off from, especially if there are characters there that need to be endangered. I used to think that because if its trajectory and momentum and the distance it must have already traveler it would land many miles from its takeoff site, but now I know better. I also learned that when a giant, vaguely wheel shaped, spaceship crash lands and begins to roll towards you the best thing to do is to run in the direction that it is rolling, banking on the fact that you can outrun it. This is far preferable than simply running to either side and allowing it to roll past you.

[@DylanPWN]

I raised sheep growing up. We lived next to a railroad track which is, to this day, still frequented by trains spanning 100+ carts. These sheep would get out of the pasture and up onto the train tracks. When a train would come, the sheep would run on the tracks for as long as they could before being rammed by the train. As an 8 year old boy, witnessing the shear amount of blood and gore of 10 sheep being rammed by a huge train, I can attest that sheep are indeed EXTREMELY stupid. All they had to do was take less than 10 steps to either the left or right to avoid being hit. How sad is it that space fairing humans are just as stupid as sheep?

[@MattyQube]

@@DylanPWN That sounds... Like a really fucked up scene to witness as a kid man. Damn

[@vilefly]

@@MattyQube Spam. Yeah, you've tried it, but you never saw it made.......until that fateful day when your world was defined just a little sharper than you liked.

[@niallmackenzie99]

Did you have to clean up the mess? Or did you say "Nah fuck it, it will be fine"

[@sinamy]

Also known as "the Promethean school of running away"

[@liljasere]

It’s such a shame because the quality of the fxs when the aliens come out the bodies was awesome