ALL OF R/FUNNYANDSAD

[@DraevynLilaste]

20:09 The craziest thing I learned relatively recently is that it's cheaper to buy a private island off the coast of Panama than it is to buy a house almost anywhere in the US, usually by hundreds of thousands of dollars. Last I checked, there's a 12 acre island off the coast of Panama for $79,000, which seems like a lot, but given it takes well over $100,000 to buy even trash houses these days, it really puts it into perspective.

[@iceymonster4675]

Try buying a house in New Zealand :D median house price in my city (Auckland) is over 1million (~630k USD). And trust me, houses are shit here too, with no back/front yard etc. you're looking at 1.5-2mil for anything remotely like that. Entire generation priced out of ever owning a house in their own country due to property ponzi scheme that's been in place since a little before the GFC in 2008 - and only getting worse. 100k USD isn't even half of the deposit required for the mortgage on a house here. Crazy you can buy an entire island for less than that lol

[@UdderlyEvelyn]

Huh maybe I should have moved to an island instead of a house.. meh, global warming will fuck that up.

[@dirk-stridrogen-monoxide]

The stadium thing hits home. My city can't afford to build a library that will last more than four years because design > waterproofing but God knows how much they can spend on a stadium that will make locals' lives even more of a living hell, considering we ALREADY FUCKING HAVE ONE.

[@Scugzerker]

Yeah I know something like that in my country (Netherlands). Some pointless modern art project for a park costing a few million euros (even though it was just a hollow bunch of plastic boxes in a pond that was already there), or a moving roundabout (an empty house that's supposed to slowly rotate, but never works costing millions every year to fail at fixing it). Meanwhile, we only place temporary asylum shelters costing the already wringed out average taxpayer much more monthly than permanent shelters, literally have double the prices for food for the same product compared to Germany, and throw a lot of money at "making houses more sustainable". The latter means cutting off all natural ventilation making it unbearably hot in the summer and installing heat pumps that simply do not work or fail after a few months.

[@thinkingComputer]

Same. But here, they're closing most of the schools.

[@feuerling]

​@basdejong1598 pretty sure those overpriced modern art pieces are just money laundering.

[@thesaeik7625]

sounds very kansas city to me, we literally have a stadium that we have NOT payed off yet and officials want to tear it down, make a new one, and have us pay for both stadiums (im pretty sure on the paying for both)

[@Mira78-q]

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[@ExzaktVid]

The wee-yoo wagon is the best name for the ambulance I have ever heard.

[@lovely.l1ls]

i called it the abooboo because i forgot what it was called and knew it helps with injuries. i’m 12 😭

[@RebeccaAmeden]

Of course a guy would talk to a tree if it talked to him first. It's a talking tree!

[@Earthstar_Review]

I would be too flustered to be rude.

[@AzureTheEnbyCat]

Emkay posting just when I start eating my nuggets? It's a sign. I don't know what the sign is for, but it sure is a sign.

[@Existence_is_a_pain]

It's a sign to eat those nuggets, obviously. SMH you didn't realize /j

[@danie8944]

​@@Existence_is_a_pain /j ? Im dead 😂. Who is going to be offended by this and or think it was SERIOUS

[@areallyshortbrontothere]

​@@danie8944 *me*

[@areallyshortbrontothere]

I also just got nuggets lmao

[@cardrivesu]

​@@danie8944It's me. I was going to be offended. I was going to eat those nuggets :(

[@livvyplays5558]

47:00 so my parents told me their wedding story where the preist was saying “do yo take this man to be you (something something something) husband” And this is how it went down: Preist: “do you-“ Mom: “I DO!” Because she was so excited to get married

[@hmnhntr]

I don't want to get married unless I'm that excited

[@asmariamoon]

28:45 If you can't pay it, congratulations! You are now a background character in Repo! The Genetic Opera. 33:44 Isn't this also how we "won" the war on drugs?

[@zavierburst5637]

I watched Repo the Genetic Opera about a decade ago. It seemed so outlandish that the government/medical institution would reposess organs you couldn't pay for. Now, I just hope that they'll do the musical numbers when we reach that point in a decade.

[@kame813]

Older people: Prison food is terrible and inedible completely vile how can we conside this humane Me and everyone else in school: Am I joke to you?

[@citronime]

prison food is unironically more healthier because the materials aren't shipped 9 months prior, and the food isn't microwaved or lightly grilled.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

....yes, you are, didn't you notice already?

[@kame813]

@@Scarlett.Granger fair and I did notice signs

[@Scarlett.Granger]

@@kame813 well I'm not sure if i should congratulate you on that or extend my condolences, so.... Mission failed successfully? 😂

[@kame813]

@@Scarlett.Granger the best way to react is to not because you weren't so lucky to notice

[@gameznthingz]

i thought this was funnydads and i got excited because i thought there was a subreddit about funny dads. way to ruin my day.

[@SunnyDmanjan]

same lol

[@tEmMiEyAyAyA]

r/dadjokes

[@Amiiyama_N25]

​@@tEmMiEyAyAyA only if you like those

[@gameznthingz]

@@tEmMiEyAyAyA HOLY SHIT.

[@noaht2005]

Same here. This shit is mostly just depressing

[@hedgiehogdudeu_u406]

Hearing Robin say he's had all sorts of things shoved down his throat was NOT on my bingo card today

[@NachtAsile]

The Bisexual King we all need. ☺️

[@imhungry48.o_o.]

"... he didn't look sad. His boner was pretty big..."

[@midlifecrisisincarnate]

10:33 I'm pretty sure someone already pointed it out in the original video or even in these comments, but taking the lump sum payout in the Mega Millions jackpot reduces the payout amount significantly. Instead of $1.28B paid out over the course of 26 years, the winner accepted a cash payout of about $700M before taxes.

[@BumblebeeXrocks]

$700 mill before taxes is still a very hefty sum that I would not be complaining about. :x

[@feuerling]

4:38 The olympic games should always be held in greece as cultural heritage. No more stadiums that get only used once.

[@rikschaaf]

14:06 That's why it's called the American dream, not the American reality. Dream on, dreamers!

[@TheJasonParser]

Did the math, a cent to Elon musk is 20 American dollars.

[@Trathien-]

did the math wrong then

[@TheJasonParser]

@@Trathien- ah shit, really?

[@No-yn3jo]

Wait I wanna see, how was it wrong ​@@Trathien-

[@Trathien-]

@@No-yn3jo well you see, a cent to elon musk is a one cent if you're talking about how much a cent is worth to a median person and take it to elon musks point of view, its 1220 dollars

[@No-yn3jo]

@@Trathien- oh, I see

[@datguymiller]

31:29 what makes this worse and make more sense at the same time, the photographer had offered to take the pictures for free because he was a friend of both the bride and groom and they wouldn't even let him *eat*

[@animalloverforever2481]

5 minutes. I think that's the earliest I've showed up to an EmKay video.

[@WhatsInANameArts]

soo btw, the insulin cap only affects people on Medicare and caps it at $35 a month. THIS IS GOOD but it is far from good enough.

[@ToniBingi]

I'm pretty sure it was Robin Williams who first said the nascar thing. At least he told that joke in one of his stand-up specials. I think it was "Weapons of Self Destruction"

[@The_Top_Hat_2]

"if you had 6 minutes left to life what song would you listen to" i'm listening to TROGDOR! from homestar runner

[@j.darekpatterson8609]

I'm fairly certain the NASCAR politicians quote came from a Robin Williams stand up. Either him or George carlin.

[@katalystkatapatheticalyssa5987]

23:16 I've been applying for jobs, and the majority of them are out of state, and I have disabled family here. NJ is far better than most states in healthcare and disability resources. I realized I've been rejected because I don't have an office space (my bed is in the background). Once I angled my camera differently, I moved further in the processes. A separate space is a requirement for some WFH jobs. They're even listed in job descriptions.

[@rickwrites2612]

Not only shpuld politicians wear the corporations sponsoring them, they should wear the ones they have investments in and be forced to sit out voting if there is a conflict of interest. And, those that they or immediate family own significant stock in private prisons or prison related business (prison comissary or telecoms) should not be allowed in legislative, judicial, or executive branch positions or their appointees (ie they can still be gov employees). Because its an automatic confluct of interest for making, enforcing or ajudicating laws.

[@matrixphijr]

22:58 - That calculation is solely whether they can _afford_ it (i.e. whether their income is greater than the cost of the rent). It may not even account for taxes, but *_definitely_* doesn’t account for other necessary expenses, like… you know, FOOD. So the point is that someone earning minimum wage would not even be able to pool every cent of their wages into rent and be able to break even.

[@mr.h1262]

The billionaires pay millionaires to tell you you don't deserve $15 an hour. My mind immediately went to that interview with Bernie Sanders, and the interviewer was barely containing her agitation. "Is there room for the wealthy in your america?" "Yes." "Do they know that?!"

[@hmnhntr]

The problem with the wealthy, is they want all the room. Not that there's not enough.

[@willi7468]

20:14. My math teacher would say this to us, while kids were actively using their phones to cheat on tests lmao

[@AlaskaMan010]

the spain er visit one hits hard. broke my hand( messed up a order at work so boss got a little upset so i took a break[had just started working there]). i got so anxious and mad at myself that i punched a brick wall and forgot to pull my punch. a bottle of antibiotics i need cost $50 for 2 weeks of pills. on my next visit i was told i needed another round but pharmacy refused to give em to me because i was busy with work the day i got my prescription again and couldn't get there before they closed

[@sydneys207]

Every story of a photographer walking off from a wedding is them doing it cheap as a favor for a friend, getting *absolutely no accommodations* -- no food, no bathroom breaks, not even water -- and being worked harder than they do for real clients.

[@mariahbenetatos]

I nearly spat my Dr Pepper out at "I wanna..." "Say it, Jonathan!" "I wanna be a bomb!!" "What?" XD

[@davidfalcon6550]

The fact grand majority of these posts are stuff happening on America makes me grateful I wasn't born there

[@NachtAsile]

🫠🙃

[@Pumpkinsmasherok]

All of them its only in america everywhere else is better

[@hmnhntr]

Haha joke's on you, if we collapse it will probably ruin *every* country!

[@RealFoxy03]

19:40 “Dad, why did you shrink? In your old wedding photo you were so tall!”

[@gentuxable]

1:49 I think Billionaires don't know what anything costs because it's just handled by somebody for them and somebody else would invest the money in different things so there's always more. They'll never look at any bill. Even I often just swipe my card at the groceries because it just doesn't matter on that level, for billionaires the level is just way higher than for us.

[@CheyenneRoy-mk9lp]

5:19 yeah it's understandable because the only thing free about having babies, is the sex that goes into making the baby, EVERYTHING after conception costs SOMETHING! The pregnancy tests, the doctor's office visits, the ultrasounds, the prescription vitamins, the extra food, the baby clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, crib, car seat,etc. and the list goes on and on, having babies is not cheap and no having babies is NOT all sunshine and rainbows and nothing ever goes wrong, so if one wants to have a baby ask yourself this first:"Can you Handle the extra financial burden that comes with having a baby? Can you provide for your baby? Can you afford to have a baby?

[@illegalopinions4082]

32:14 As a denizen of England, I genuinely lol'd. Fair play, BK. Fair play. The French accent was absolutely pitch perfect too, haha!

[@West_Coast_Mainline]

8:12 building a gun is shockingly simple 11:20 standard day on NS

[@brycethoreson9216]

11:54 You mean extreme ptsd. The Vietnam war was basically a rendition of 1000 ways to die

[@hotice9828]

That slide and how he talked pissed me off so bad. Downgrading ptsd like it’s a fucking baby dropping it’s candy fucking disgusting

[@Kharnthebefreinder]

I love how CEOs claim to put in as much if not more work than all of us on each company they run, but if the average person works 40 hours a week, Elon musk could not possibly be doing that, because at 40 hours a week, with 5 company he's running simultaneously, that would be 200 hours. There are only 168 hours in a week.

[@I_am_everything_yes_everything]

What school did you go to, Jack? I'm in Australia and there's no Cops in our school.💀

[@ThePeopleEatersAndSongEnjoyers]

16:58 for me it's "you will be okay" from helluva boss. Always a comfort and stolas is my favorite (I'm delusional and don't consider any part of season 2 canon)

[@dayzlove4994]

1:57 If I ccould change one thing about myself, I could actually be funny.

[@plussh_boy]

man i love emkay

[@theominouspigeon]

"man i love mommy" THANKS GOOGLE TRANSLATE

[@havanadaurcy1321]

​@@theominouspigeonMommy's boy?

[@KenanLaudat-tp3bp]

Skinny kim looks like the average isekai protagonist

[@gentuxable]

20:16 seriously I told my teacher in the late 90s, "When I'm your age, I'll wear a calculator where you're wearing a wristwatch!" And now I wear a smart watch that has a calculator.

[@GHosTxShadoux]

36:50 Dear Editor, Jack went to school in a Juvenile Detention Center. No questions, do not ask why. For legal reasons and my own safety, I should not be saying even this much about it. The only other thing I will say is; Do not ask him about what he was planning to do with all of the birds.

[@tanyapoe5490]

If I only had 6 minutes to live I'd listen to Daechwita. My health insurance pays full dental BUT will pay for an eye exam, not glasses. They want me to know I have wonky ass eyes but I'm on my own after that.

[@merrybadendingz]

4:53 LMFAO

[@DaPlenThing]

It’s crazy how all this is about America Im pissed at my family that they chose to live here and I have no way to leave before my future is filled with giving up my life for a meal

[@pyrogameiack5722]

18:30 medieval peasant's just got shamed publicly

[@max_e_maxxy_]

I'm right on the borderline between Gen x and millennial. Everybody I know has really struggled, and can't pay their rent or had to move back in with their parents. I really don't like being lumped in with boomers.

[@sydneys207]

Something that is *very important* to know about taxes on lottery winnings. 1.28B -> 480M is not due to the taxes. When you win the lottery, you are given two choices: a lump sum, or annual payments. If you take the lump sum, you take a pretty gnarly hit to the value, because they don't pay you the full stated value. The stated value is the additive value of all your annual payments over, typically, 20 years. After accounting for the time-value of money, annual payments are still better than the lump sum, but not by that awful much. Most of the difference between a regular taxation and what they get paid is down to taking a lower amount to start with.

[@Johnny_T779]

Obvious answer to the thumbnail: The End by the Doors. With a big herbal cigarette of course 😁

[@Arhidilius]

Based

[@YourOnlyHero]

Idky why people say "this company worth millions, they should pay more" like...thats its worth. You want them to sell the company and use the money that way? Like having a $5k ring and people expect you to have hundreds to give away

[@minecraftchest2]

14:58 I would reply with a lawsuit to the company.

[@max_e_maxxy_]

23:14 I wonder how many states would be marked in red for a studio apartment. Probably less than 10 🙁 1:02:52 I ain't got no friends- I'll be waiting for your call lol.

[@Therealofficalspongy]

Am literally crying and shitinning

[@theicecreamninja101]

Womp womp

[@Foxy-cr1nd]

Darwin?

[@asackboyplush6508]

​@@Foxy-cr1nd Gumball's parents after he got that word from jpxfrd

[@Jacoe413]

4:42 both of our local professional sports teams are talking about new stadiums when both stadiums have been renovated in the last 10 years.

[@FRproductions888]

My favorite song is 6 minutes and 51 seconds so i wouldnt be able to listen to it

[@King_CreepaLot]

A good 75-90% of the time a class tells me I need a textbook, I never need to actually use it. So basically I just waste a ton of money!

[@LeadrynMcKrotch]

0:56 I don't know about all sanitation/waste management workers (aka garbage men) but the ones in Carson City Nevada apparently got paid on average $50k+ a year some made more the ones that made less were usually the office workers that didn't get the additional hazard pay

[@sussybaka-ii3nj]

In response to the thumbnail, I choose Soldier of Heaven by Sabaton since that song SLAPS

[@nathanielkhoo3460]

this has the same vibes as r/aboringdystopia

[@bookworm67-hv7nm]

1:12:51 nope this is what they got for saving a guard when he had a heart attack yay pizza party and time off their sentence 25% i think

[@jazminescicluna2607]

8:32 reminds me of how this kinda sorta happened in TLOK

[@minecraftchest2]

7:19 your fine as long as it doesn't start flashing.

[@Banus-]

I would probably spend those 6 minutes left to live looking for a song

[@Angel-hv3xq]

32:40 i got the feeling he aint in the friend zone. She is and she is feeling pissy that he wont actually date her although he does all this for her

[@aaronwolk998]

I imagine that if you were headed on some expensive vacation and even that couldn't seem to make your girlfriend happy, then dumping them ASAP is not so cruel.

[@bethanyboarder7751]

34:16 Actually, there was a whole civilization around that time. If you read the part right before Noah gets the boat, you hear that there was a civilization that was thinking evil thoughts 24/7. So, there weren't only 2 sons. Hope this helps. (Your favorite Christian has come to save the day lol).

[@Mister_non]

The first quote about politicians is from a punk singer named Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedys) who ran for mayor of San Francisco in the 80's

[@Zipesthemanokit]

24:37 I saw someone do the maths, the price now is about 54 dollars

[@thengamer88]

1:17:47 was not expecting that fuck god damn

[@unorthodoxbox]

Fun fact: Monzo has a sort of Spotify wrap. What did I learn from last year? I apparently really like Greggs pasties. 😅 Good thing I go there less this year.

[@popcornUNNERFED]

51:30 robin are you actually ok?

[@itsjustmenova]

I spent 2 years in University and yet I ended up going with a cleaning job because it pays a bunch more and I think about that every day

[@Amiiyama_N25]

Not me still watching these knowing full well im not gonna finish them

[@SaidStupidRodent]

23:19 my ass who would gladly live in a studio apartment over a two bedroom apartment even if the rent was completely free

[@Equ3strianGam3r]

We had at least 1 police officer at my middle school and high school at all times. I attended school in central Indiana. I graduated in 2000.

[@skamosthedestroyerofworlds]

I already picked a song and I've got at least 50 years left lol

[@GooberX82]

More cookies for you guys!!!

[@samned.]

Thank you for the cookies.

[@skamosthedestroyerofworlds]

Wow! ... ... ... Do I have to pay for these?

[@Dabouse2007]

7:33 I looked it up, "Xtian" is an uncommon shortening of Christian, I would guess it comes from the same root as "Xmas" instead of "Christmas" But I could be wrong

[@gentuxable]

3:00 Bill spend Billions of dollars to fit the bill

[@Axolotl446]

36:47 Western American here.... There are like 4 cops in the central building converging path thing at one time

[@treadnokash7598]

Last song.20 yrs in the internet. Welcome to the internet!

[@MadiJo121]

7:31 but people forget that the US, Russia, and the UK won't allow the Japanese to own guns due to the horrific crimes the Japanese did in WW2…

[@BDB101SB]

People make $12/hr not in peofessions? Every healthcare job ive EVER worked has capped me at $14, where do i go to get $12 without getting groped and physically abused and yelled at at work??? Ill put up with yelling and threats, but like, not having the physical part every day would be super nice, AND i wouldnt have to wipe asses and shower people anynore??? Thats a dream and a half. I cant afford to go to school now that it is t free for me lol

[@tanyapoe5490]

That's just sad. A woman I know makes $18 an hour as a convenience store manager.

[@OfNoImport]

you just have to be super clear when you ask. I've started getting the 1/4 beef patty from McDonalds. I'm very clear and direct each time I ask. Occasionally they will tell me the cost for the whole sandwich, so I do have to repeat myself. It's actually not even that annoying, and I'm kind of amazed at how good it tastes.

[@Ikindaenjoytrains]

I want somebody to look up the history of Norfolk Southern, so they can understand why that railroad has derailing trains. It inherited bad tracks and now it must make do with them. It is not entirely the company’s fault, there are many other variables. Repairing and replacing old track is incredibly expensive even for a company of this size. Not to say that they aren’t in the wrong, but I think people crap on NS more than it deserves.

[@WinterGamesYT]

21:47 stay inside and game, hoping my mom doesn't get on my case about it. Nothing much would change cause my dad works all day

[@jackermis3104]

That thumbnail, one by mettalica

[@Vlad_Tepes_III]

Eyyy, good choice. Mine would be unforgiven by metallica.

[@planetd.a.r.p3471]

actually here in Australia the Commonwealth Bank App actually dose state stuff like you spent $2000 on grocery's this week or you spent $789 on entertainment this week

[@mepthearsonist]

14:56 Is bro’s ghost supposed to go in for the rest of his afterlife?

[@floorman7076]

1:25 My uncle's name is Chris, can confirm.

[@tatesmith9085]

The politicians wearing nascar sponsor jackets was a joke fro. George Carlin

[@throneisbed7833]

"You won't always carry a calculator in your pocket!" said my fourth grade teacher. Well, I'm frankly horrific at math to the point of single-digit addition taking me a hot second and a piece of paper, but that teacher was still correct. I stash my trusty dusty scientific calculator, in my satchel. Pockets ain't big enough.

[@samuelmoseley8937]

5 year old me I wanna be a cashier and delivery person and now I get to be both

[@notredboi]

Oh boy, 1 hour and 18 minutes of how everything sucks, i'll pass

[@Colin-xv3bc]

no joke, until someone recommended 13 reasons why, i had never heard the name before "you won't always have a calculator in your pocket" first they were wrong, then they were right because pretty soon, no one will be able to afford smartphones We the people of the united states of America believe all peoples are due certain unalienable rights, these being life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. ... if you have enough money... and as long as you don't have something we want... and as long you are living how we want you to live

[@silverrey7379]

17:02 TEQUILA!

[@KenanLaudat-tp3bp]

5:00 Depending on where you live that's still a normal thing now

[@JackBlocks]

If you can’t pay a hospital bill, they just sue you or something.