Am I Experiencing Complicated Grief?

Grief is tricky... and when it stays stuck in an Acute Phase it is called Complicated Grief. Have a watch and leave a comment.
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[@grieftherapist]

This is third video in the series exploring types of Grief. Complicated Grief is often misunderstood and under-recognized. Have a watch and share your thoughts. Join our private online membership group to support your Grief. www.jomcrogers.com/grievolution-collective.html 💕

[@marsha-mo1xi]

My husband of 60+ years died 4 Years ago and my grief is still as deep and painful as it was the day he died. I have been unable to locate a therapist in my area. I don’t drive so that presents an additional problem. Our relationship was unique,we met when he was in medical school and I was in nursing school. . Married the day after I graduated. After our daughter left for college I worked in his office for 1y years. It was a wonderful experience for the both of us. He was the only man I ever loved and there will never be another. Because I have a daughter with a chronic medical problem I have to try to be strong but I am empty and have no interest in activities. .Sounds like complicated grief to me. I’m 84yo so I guess I’ll deal with it until my time is up. Losing the love of my life truly broke my heart.

[@DonnaRo]

I lost my husband of 36 years over 7 months ago & I believe I am experiencing complicated grief for sure. Never did I believe that I could take one breath past his last.This can not be fixed, he can’t come back, my pain will never stop until I am with him again. My world forever changed. I try to make it through each day & ask God to help me. The nights are long & exhausting. I’m so lonely. Thankful for my children, who are the only ones who haven’t disappeared. So thankful that I found your channel! Finally someone who I can relate too & knows the pain. Sorry that you know that pain but so grateful for the understanding of mine. 🥰

[@MissOrchid12]

7 months isn't long at all 💙💙

[@cgravelle4937]

It is now 2023 ,I lost my husband to cancer in 2018. We were together for 43 1/2 years. I have not been able to stop crying even though more than 5 years has passed. I cry all the time. I miss him so much. I just want him to come home. I am not living I am just existing. He was the love of my life since the first day I looked into his eyes and listened to his soft voice. He loved me as much as I loved him. We were inseparable. We,had no children ,it was just him and I for all those,years. I lived for him. I never knew what love was like until I met him. He made me so happy. I have so often thought about taking my own life. My crying becomes so deep and so desperate that I just want to die to be with him forever. Knowing he will never come home to me again My heartache is so deeply painful, I could not describe to you the heartache I feel. I never in my entire felt such deep heartache like this and I feel lost.

[@anastasiamurawski6179]

Please don't end your life too, I bet he wouldn't want that. There are people who care and understand, you are not alone. it's ok to still be sad, but like you say you're not living just existing. It can get better. I lost someone too about 4 yrs ago and I still cry, I hate it sometimes, I hate myself sometimes but it's ok . Some wounds take a long time to heal. If you look for signs, you might find that this person is still around you , in a song on the radio or just something that reminds you of him. It could be anything, if you keep an eye out you will see what I mean. At least I hope that you do. Take care.

[@lgd4247]

My parrot companion of 20 years recently passed. She was the only recipricated love I've ever known. She was intelligent and we had a beautiful relationship. When she passed all my unprocessed trauma surfaced. I definitely have complicated grief.

[@gloriaturner3687]

Grief is love with no place to go.

[@Thomasfrohwitter]

Hi Gloria, how’s your day going with you?

[@maxrennie9931]

Its now 2 yrs and 9 months and I am still agonizing with the loss of my wife even tho I am seeing a therapist.

[@grieftherapist]

Max that sounds like a deep deep love. ❤️

[@MaurineGoodyear]

My mom died in 2019. I'm still in deep grief and miss her so much. She was across the country and died from falling and breaking her hip. She was getting better for a while and I talked to her on the phone and she was in the hospital and sounded better. I remember cheering that she was going to be ok. However, when she got out of the hospital I went to see her and she did not look good. I stayed with her a few days and she started screaming and I called the ambulance. She went to the hospital. I had to leave to be back for something but was coming back the week later. She died a few days before I was to come back. I cannot get over this. I cry constantly. We were supposed to buy a house together and she wanted to get out of hte hospital to buy that house for me and my kids. I want to call her so bad and fill her in. She was concerned about my medical condition and I have nobody who cares for me like she did. I just want to see or hear from her again. She hated hospitals so I tried to avoid taking her unless it was absolutely necessary.

[@jennifershort3104]

My grief for my father was put on hold because I was in survival mode caring for my mother who died 15 months after him of end stage Alzheimer's. Now my grief is complicated because it has doubled. Grief for my father has resurfaced as I have been grieving my mother. It's overwhelming.

[@DanyLove48]

Thank you for your videos, they are the most real that I’ve found on the internet. Unfortunately, I’m suffering complicated grief. It’s over four years since my husband died, and I think I’m at my worst position so far. It feels like I’ve tried everything, to feel better, but to no avail. After getting severely depressed two years ago, I’ve had support for my ‘mental health’ plus I’ve been having one to one sessions with an excellent psychologist for a few months. She has been trying to help me unravel why I still feel so grieved. Focusing particularly on childhood traumas and other losses. None of it helps, and I think it’s because I am just grieving so hard for the loss of my wonderful, special, kind and funny husband. Life is empty without him. My loneliness is the core of my being now. I do voluntary work in different places, but it all leaves an emptiness, that makes me long for my life to end. I feel like I’ve tried everything, and I’m now at full circle - feeling as bad as I did on day one.

[@aprilerains4578]

i feel just like you do.

[@michellenash-powell5651]

@@aprilerains4578 me too

[@graceprais9814]

I feel the same.

[@143LoveConquersAll]

I feel like that too. I can totally relate. This feeling is awful! 😥 Sometimes I feel like: "if only I could meet somebody exactly like him. Then MAYBE I might feel some semblance of relief at some stage...?!! PLEASE let me meet somebody like him!!!" This deep depression and loneliness is defintely going on for far too long 😞 It's been 19 months for me now, and I feel like it's only getting worse (not better) the further away it gets from the last time that I saw him. These people that we miss = our loved-ones, they clearly were our soulmates and so that extremely deep connection on SO many levels that we had with them, THAT I feel is the reason why we can't get over the loss of them (ie quickly, imo) 💔 Not everybody can relate to it/us, because most people don't get to have what we had. That I think is the crux of it. Sending so much love to you all 🩷⚘️🙏😘

[@deborahpalmer8298]

I know that feeling of just existing, waiting to leave this world and all the pain behind.

[@helensmith8325]

I am getting worse, not better 9 months after losing my husband of 40 years. I am frozen, isolated and alone and I have no vision of the future and have fear of what is to become of me aging and dying alone.

[@nancyoconnor124]

Based on your very informative and heartfelt video, I believe I may have complicated grief. I long for my husband every day, and am struggling with such intense sadness. I am sorry you have known this pain. I thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, and the calmness in your voice.

[@roberttammyturney2974]

I’m in the middle of complicated grief and cannot find a way out.

[@annekebrinkhof991]

My grief is complicated even more now First two years I was somewhat okay Now I struggle and am frozen It feels No one understands, so lonely and hopeless

[@sylviajayasriddperey8956]

I do understand being in my third year of my daughter passing it has been the worst, I don’t know if that’s because it’s becoming a reality, and I repressed it more earlier ,does feel so lonely and hopeless ,so this video is not working for me. I think grieve is a fingerprint and. Cant be studied it’s just too individual ……

[@sylviajayasriddperey8956]

I actually wrote to soon , she ended it better🌹

[@anastasiamurawski6179]

I can relate. Been almost 4 yrs since my brother died by suicide and I blame myself for the whole thing. I should have tried harder to stop it, I knew he might do it and I tried to help him but he wouldn't really listen to anyone. I have come along way from screaming out loud at the top of my lungs , it scared my neighbor and she called the cops but they were cool with me. They said they would take me anywhere I wanted to go for help , but I managed to calm myself down. I still cry over it but it's not like it was in the beginning, but it's still hard. Good therapy is hard to find where I live so I've had to do a lot of the work of recovering on my own. I share my story a lot online, maybe too much but it helps , I get positive feedback and that soothes me. You are not alone, and believe me it does get easier. I won't say that I know exactly what you're going through , but I think I have a pretty good idea of how you are feeling. I don't know if it helps any to hear this but all life is made of energy and energy cannot be destroyed so you're loved one is still around, maybe just in another form. They probably know you feel bad. You are not going to forget them, that's what I feared, that he'd be forgotten but he won't. Take it easy on yourself is all i can say i guess. it's going to be a tough road but on the way you might meet some special people who do care and understand. Good luck to you. I hope this helped at least a little bit.

[@kristineholcroft9163]

I understand just lost the father of my child and other family members wishing everyone love and comfort during this difficult time

[@meskalokys]

I struggled to the end of your video and began to feel anger and sadness when you used the word “hope”. I understood that grief has no timeline, nor an end. Counselling would help me walk along side grief, that there would be days it walked behind or in front, but that it would always be there. Now I wonder if this is just complicated grief? No days passes without the deep mourning.

[@devansaxbury2614]

I lost my parents 7 months apart. It's been 2 yrs for my mom and almost 3 yrs for my dad. I've told I have complicated grief. I just can't get over it. I'm angry, mad, sad, guilty, and so much more. I miss them so much. Someday's I can barely deal with life.

[@jeremyashton5040]

What's made my grief somewhat complicated is that my mother's passing was unexpected and I'm the one who found her (alone). This shocked me in every way. It was very traumatizing. And there's been physical manifestations of this grief, shock and trauma via Functional Neurological Disorder including seizures. At the same time, most of me really wants to move forward in my life.

[@143LoveConquersAll]

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry for you & your loss. My story is similar (except it was my partner that died), and I have ended up with a FND as well. It's amazing what trauma & grief can do to us! 😞 Sending you prayers for healing 🙏

[@sunriseschubert4391]

I lost my beloved mother unexpectedly on October 6 2022 and I'm heartbroken 💔😭. I'm single and she lived with me my entire life and I miss her so much everyday. 😞. And with the holidays coming, is even worse. 😩

[@lonelyplanet2021]

♥️

[@petemoss8125]

Lost my mother Lost my dog lost my wife lost my brother law losing my sister law too ashamed I've shipwreck

[@monikafriedel5256]

My husband of almost 49years died 13days ago. I don't know what else to say except thank you Jo , these videos are a kind of lifeline for me since discovering them so very recently. I am very grateful for the insights, wisdoms and lived experiences you share ,always given with sensitivity and kindness

[@davidward805]

As I wrote last week I have had two years since my wife’s diagnosis of cancer until her death on Friday 2/16. While it hit hard of course, having that long to prepare psychologically and emotionally has really helped, particularly since she has been living with our daughter two hours away who is a nurse and has taken really good care of her. Couldn’t be better so to speak.

[@lonelyplanet2021]

İ think my grief is complicated, although İ am very functional - work, raise teenager, go to gym, go out.... but İ feel empty and think about my late husband all the time. İt's been 17 months now. Alledgelly he died by accident, but İ never got police report how that happened. İt was traumatic loss. İ didn't see therapist - didn't like their approach - so İ went through it with family and friends. But it's such a terrible burden, several times I wished İ died instead of him. Your videos are very helpful for me, they bring me closer to other people's experiences, İ feel less alone.

[@laurieloudamy1846]

Wow. This really hit home. Tremendous insight. And thank you for saying that grief is permanent and the referring to its integration into life. I cringe when I hear the words”closure” and “getting over it”. You are phenomenal.

[@dorelyherrera5872]

I lost my 22 year old son February 11th 2021 in a fetal car accident this is so heartbreaking I can’t sleep I have so many different emotions I want my son but I know the Lord wanted him home he just went a head of me I know he is happy rejoicing in Heaven I’m just not the same person 😢

[@Nrbrelic]

I too have lost my son April 9 th 2021....

[@graceprais9814]

I'm sorry ❤

[@143LoveConquersAll]

I am so sorry for your losses - both of you! Sending you love, peace, courage & strength...and a return to some happiness soon too I hope! 💝🙏🌹😘 It is very difficult (extra difficult) losing somebody young - and suddenly, and therefore not being able to prepare or say goodbye 😞 xo

[@jennebeattie3168]

So sorry for your catastrophic loss. I too lost my 14 year old son. 23 May 2022. It would have been his 16th birthday this coming Monday 😭😭😭

[@danlemko5196]

Thank you Jo 💜 It helps to understand what I’m feeling isn’t only just me. You describe me in this video. I’m seeking help :)

[@dredwardchisnall1017]

I have not been back to you for a couple of weeks as I seemed to becoming more reconciled to the loss of my Mary. Not so. It came back two days and stopped everything, eating, showering, sleeping, thoughts of suicide. It was so painful because it was unexpected. I cannot isolate a trigger except thought. I feel so weak and the weaker I feel the weaker `I become. Boy, is it complex. Mary’s death is itself the trigger. My life will never be normal again, hidden pain, lack of motivations, three months is clearly not enough, each month it seems to hang around just outside the window. It’s complicated grief and I wake in such terrible pain and a sense of loss. Thank for your gentle voice. I am very down.

[@susanb2171]

Okay this is very helpful. I would say that others expectations of how you should be feeling and what your grief should look like prevents you from getting help and support.

[@grieftherapist]

Agreed!

[@paulinecraig1327]

Yes thats me 20 months since i lost my husband and its scary i didn't go to councillor I am now. I am 60 and our families were just get on with things, watching your videos really helps thk u x

[@rachelpritchard2406]

I feel everyday that I can’t bare to live with the pain. I’m definitely suffering with complicated grief

[@dellajensen9930]

15 years…😭 I’ve only recently found you, and already I’ve learned so much. Had there been a you & more internet content like this, I’d probably be more mentally healthy, in terms of my loss. Could you go further into anger? Address conflicted feelings of anger & love, when the person did things that were wrong, yet I stayed & we got to a better place… then when I recall the big mistakes he made, I feel the hurt again….☹️

[@monicaandrel3494]

I am experiencing this grief. I has lived with this for 5 yrs. It’s awful

[@dogodivaamorfati7190]

I have complicated grief. I’ve had it for 6 yrs now and I have been in therapy and it was never mentioned that I have this. My life has been hell even since I lost my entire adult family back to back within 5years and went through a divorce. I swear I trust no one and I question why God would leave me alone with no support. I have twin 14yr old boys with autism and no family no support and it has been so hard. All of the deaths were not expected and I found my mother Thanksgiving Day and a year later my father died in my arms then 2 yrs later my only sibling my younger sister went septic after appendix surgery and passed away suddenly. I love my children they are what keeps me going but I have lost interest in everything I ever cared about before. I talk to only a few people and not often. I pray for anyone who is experiencing this type of grief and pain it is truly devastating it changes your life completely it changes you.

[@MADELENEC1]

I am not sure if I have complicated grief, but I do feel life without my husband is empty and sad.

[@leah425]

Thank you so much, I am at 13 months of grieving. I still cry almost daily for my lost loved one. I have been late for work avoiding a faster route on my commute to avoid the place where my loved one died. I hold an immense amount of guilt and anger surrounding the events of his death. I avoid photos still, it’s too painful to see. I already think about him everyday, I don’t need photos to get me there. I revisit the traumatic night of his death often, it’s like it happened yesterday. I think I need help. I have benefits from my work starting February 1st, I think I would like to seek professional help or I fear I will never be able to leave this place I have been in for over a year now.

[@bryanmccaffrey4385]

Road block and the medical model helps. My little brother took his life six years ago and I drank. Kept drinking until a year and a half ago. I can't explain the pain. The existential dread, too.

[@raew5263]

Definitely in the midst of complicated grief. It’s been 2 years and yet feels like it was 2 weeks ago. I’m gutted w/the passing of my Mom as we were very close + I was her primary caregiver years before that fateful day. All I do is cry 😢 + keep to myself. Sleep is poor. Sorrow is my constant companion. I miss her so much.

[@einsteinbfergie4315]

Lost husband after 7 yr battle with Lewy Body Dementia. By the time I nene something was wrong he was already too far in the illness. Within a 2 week period, I vertically lost my hubby. 1st yr 7 hospitalization. Then 2 yrs later 3, I explain it like schizophrenia + dementia + Alzheimer’s in one little ball 3 yrs of total hell till somewhat manageable- then last 2 yr horrible again Died at home 12-29-2022 Went through all the numbness, not wanting to see the world or people, but forced self. Cried a lot most stages more anticipated ( while he was alive+ and coming to my last bit of survival and ability to care for him) I cried , did some wading and crying getting rid of all his stuff, angry at the what could have been, all grief. My problem at 9 months, not sure, reality- ( even though, I have done it all for 8 yrs) Reality, hate my job, but can’t get a new one, I’m barely surviving on 20.64 an hr (40 per week). No ssc , I’m 65 I am freaken depressed, so much I feel like isolating,so depressed, know I should do something with my life , seems to hard to think about snd nothing sounds good. I get off work. Walk dog, then I do the instagram or fish for 2 hour looking for a shoe ontv the give up I’ve had insomnia for 20 yrs , did the spend out of contro and eating- stoped that I one have 1 pitcher turned out ward rest I can’t face , turned them backwards 2 weeks ago Here is problem, a heavy heart- no motivation and depressed then I have Ben dat anything up to now Help don’t know to get lout of it , . Q mnummin I get sngy he is ginecsbv6 yrs).

[@joedudz]

I lost both parents several decades ago when help by way of videos such as these and counselling was not available or not the norm. So many emotions buried leading to long term complications. Avoidance of reminders very strong indeed leading to spilling of emotions and feelings of fear and injustice out of the blue, even now. It is so important to grieve and seek/accept help in grieving.

[@paulbendall6229]

Thank you for this Jo. My 18 year old daughter died 15 months ago in our local river. The inquest hasn't happened as there is a police investigation into a potential rape. Just to give you some feedback, I believe that I am suffering with complicated grief and I seem to fit 6 of the7 criteria. The only 1 I don't match is that I am trying to make myself get out and be sociable! I am having therapy and I am on Sertraline.... Keep up the good work. Paul (UK)

[@silviavivanco6848]

This made A LOT of sense to me, I lost my sister a month ago, I am feeling complicated grief as I think that perhaps something else or different could have been done to prevent her death, I had 2 appointments with medical doctors who treated my sister who assured me that nothing else in the world could have saved her, she was only 50 years old, full of dreams with a fiancé and 2 Grown up girls, it is huge loss for me, I can’t stop looking ANS SEARCHING for information to confirm that nothing else could have been done to save her life, ovarian cancer is a deadly disease I know this but she lived only 1 year 4 months, I feel life will never be the same again, the void is too big, the pain is unbearable

[@lissaszajnbrum]

It is now 11 months since the loss of my 27-year old son. I find myself depressed, crying a lot, not wanting to do very much and blaming myself for not being able to prevent his death. I am in therapy and go to grief support activities. But I feel like it will never get better. Do I want it to?

[@noremac4807]

I’m so very very sorry. My deepest condolences. Jo has a video on talking about how we want to protect our grief. I can relate to your sense of maybe not wanting it to get better, because that seems like acceptance, and acceptance seems like we’re making it ok, and it’s not ok, so we hold onto the grief. Yet I think it’s our deep love and deep loss that makes the grief hold onto us. Not a simple thing to “just let go” and get better. Once again, I am very very sorry for your loss, and wish you blessings of mercy, strength and comfort. Take care of yourself.

[@user-nb6cg9qt4d]

Thank you so much for your beautiful videos,s Yes I'm sure that I'm experiencing complicated grief, yesterday made a a year for me. Unfortunately I don't even know where the year went, thank you for being there for me 🙏 no

[@Heatherdg-nk4uz]

I do believe I have complicated grief for years and recently lost my best friend to car wreck on October, and now me and my other best friend are estranged . I am 38 and it all started when I was 8 and lost my grandfather and a year or so later my grandma. They raised me and 2013 a close friend was violently murdered and it's been a constant struggle ever since.

[@georgeherriott686]

I feel like I'm experiencing complicated grief five weeks ago, and four weeks after our 55th anniversary. So much sadness and pain.

[@ln4599]

i have complicated grief. for my entire life. abandonment of father mother brother husband - who alienated my children and now i am old and have no family and nothing.

[@trishpurden7131]

Sending you lots of hugs…this channel will help,you. There are lots of people on this channel who can relate to your situation…please try to look after yourself. Have you got any support groups near you…how about seeking out counselling. Maybe if you have any elderly advisory groups like Aged Concern in your area that maybe able to give you details of a group whom you can get support from.

[@edwardianspice1]

Could you make a video about grief experienced by those who struggle with emotional dysregulation? X

[@Mranstedsf]

My husband always put a pillow on his head in the morning to block sun and noise One morning after he had been dead for about 2 months I woke up one morning.I was turned to the wall.It was noisy so I reached over felt the pillow turned back toward the wall. I said will you lose the door your closer to it and can reach it, no answer. I asked three times but didn't get an answer Then I said real loud .Do have to have that darn pillow on your head even when your dead!!?? I picked up the pillow realized what I'd done and began crying and prayed

[@azsunburns]

I don't know who created the sun buried in piles of poo, but it's head on. Especially with all the pain caused by politicians, medical professionals & those supporting lockdowns these past 3 years. The grief in the air is intense, immense & suffocating. Beautiful plant. My story is too long. You are correct.❤

[@gaylaalbrecht7126]

I do feel that I am experiencing complicated grief over the loss of my son, who died from cancer at the age of 39. It has been 4 years 9 months and I am still devastated by this loss. I am in a group of parents that all feel the same way as I do. Losing a child is the worst pain that anyone can have in life. I have grieved my mother and others in my life, but it never felt this horrific. Your videos have been helping me a lot, I wish I found you sooner.

[@daizeofgrace]

I’m in the midst of 17 yrs of watching my husband of 44 yrs die bit by bit. He had a stroke in 06, then diagnosed with bipolar and now has dementia. His body is still here but who my precious love was is gone and it hurts so much and I have zero idea how to grieve in the midst of this. To say it’s complicated is a vast understatement and I’m drowning in the pain. Two of my three adult children do not understand or support me in this grieving process and I’ve mistakenly tried to help them understand my ongoing struggles but I swear they have grown tired of me so now I’m grieving the loss of these relationships and I don’t know what to do. I’m so very broken

[@jackiep2391]

I lost my husband 3 years ago and have just been diagnosed with complicated grief .. i thought that this was normal grief and realised through my daughters that this is not normal ! So visited the doctor.. 😞

[@Tantownboy4511]

I believe I’ve been in complicated grief as it’s getting worse and worse. I never got to mourn my sons death and my life was filled for the last few years with one more death after another on top of my husband walking out 4 months after our sons death

[@tarnisaperkins6970]

I believe I have complicated grief as a result of my 21 year old grandson dying by suicide in 2016. So grateful for your videos.🙏🏽

[@maryannmartinez9425]

I loved my husband so much.its been 5mo since his passin.i have suffered so much

[@aprilerains4578]

im right there too, mine died 9/10/23 i dont want to go on living this agaony. everyday is hopeless, empty, lonly.

[@reeshdelareesh6406]

Thanks Jo, you are really helping me 💕🕊️🌌

[@user-hi1se4ms4j]

Yes.....3 years out and I still feel fear and depression....

[@graceprais9814]

Thank you ❤

[@paulbendall6229]

BTW, I had a tattoo for the first time in 61 years. To steal a line from Wanda Vision it says ' what is grief if not love persevering.'

[@jennebeattie3168]

It makes sense Jo ❤

[@Rose_budd]

Grief is the price we pay for love

[@143LoveConquersAll]

Really great video, thank you 🙏 ❤ I am definitely experiencing complicated grief, and I can't move on/forward. Where can I go and who can I see about it (here in Australia)? I'm unwell too and I have next to no support system. I'm falling apart 💔

[@suehildreth3998]

What is ‘early grief’ I’m at 8 months since my husband died, the last couple of weeks I have felt wretched and anxious. Should I be feeling this now?

[@danlemko5196]

10 months for me and I feel the same as you. Hang in there ❤️

[@Mranstedsf]

I have about the same it's been about 8 month Holidays and birthdays father's day etc. Are hard.Mrs A

[@grieftherapist]

These are still early days Sue at 8 months. Self care and self compassion are needed!!🙏🏻

[@jennykelter9518]

It’s been almost 6 years for me. I feel like my mind is stuck in time. When I think of this person I still feel like he died yesterday . I could be a actress for the sheer fact I could conjure massive emotion and tears in front of anyone just with a single thought of him. This person was my brother. Many people don’t recognize or believe the loss of a brother is so painful. Everyone else moved on. I didn’t. He molested my daughter and got away with it. He was my best friend and most trusted ally. My mind has not been able to come to terms with it. He was never charged by police. He was my brother one day and a pedophile the next who harmed my baby girl. My family still speaks to him and I haven’t since that day of finding out. I didn’t grieve. I didn’t feel anything for 3 years , I had to take care of my daughter. Now it’s been almost 6 and my family thinks I’m crazy for still dealing with this. For being angry with my family for supporting him .

[@dedeplaisted5997]

I have complicated grief. My son suicided when in paranoid schizophrenic psychosis while living with his psychiatrist dad who allowed him to have weapons in his room and never helped him. I didn't know he was schizophrenic because we were estranged. His last words were it was my fault because I drank when pregnant with him and I should have gotten an abortion. I didn't drink.I ruminate and grieve. 3 years later. He was 37.

[@christinecohen8687]

My husband died 4 years ago. It was a complicated relationship of 40 years. There are times when I am not sure if I am grieving the loss of my husband or of my youth.

[@JB23669]

It’s been 3 years for me and these thoughts kill me every single day

[@judygrubaugh5424]

This is me. But only partly. I feel my grief is muddied by PTSD. I feel myself moving in the process, but the flashbacks and backlash of Covid are kicking my butt.

[@menofairy]

Thank you

[@anastasiamurawski6179]

I KNOW I am experiencing complicated grief, good to know there's a term for it. My brother killed himself about 3 yrs ago now. Everyone still misses him, he was a special person. His friends were recently talking about how it feels like was just yesterday and we all struggle with the whys, the constant flood of why's (why did he do it, he didn't leave a note) why him , all of that. Sadly I do know that one reason (and I realize now there were many) he did it had to do with me. I did something when we were kids that scarred him for life. He even said in some notes he did leave from when he was in the hospital stating that I was the reason he had poor self esteem and couldn't find a mate. I hate myself and I feel like I deserve to suffer, when his friends speak of him I feel almost like I killed their friend. I did see a therapist after he died and I told her the whole story and she said I shouldn't blame myself so harshly for it. There were many factors in his choice to die. It wasn't all on me but I still feel it, I talk to him even though I know he's not really here and have sobbed and sobbed telling him I'm sorry (I did apologize to him while he was alive but I guess that wasn't good enough) over and over again, looking for some sign that he forgives me. And i think I've received a few signs recently. It just irks me that my current therapist seems really angry and frustrated that I don't move on and get over it. I've told her I don't think I will ever get over it. She's not as compassionate as others I've spoken to, and I don't think she knows the whole story and won't even let me talk about him anymore. I'm sorry I can't get over it, I've come a long way in recovering but I am going to keep talking about him, they say no one dies unless they are forgotten. Lots of people remember and keep on talking about him so so will I. I am stuck in a rut and have a lot of phobias that are holding me back , but what can I do??? Maybe I need to go to grief counseling , or get involved with some organization working to try to prevent suicides. But I still feel like scum.

[@ginnylamberson4109]

1 yr today i want my son back where is he!

[@cjyou5606]

My best friend died in 2012 and it might as well have been yesterday for all the good time is doing. I think my grief is now evolving into an anorexia condition. I’ve lost 50% of my body weight and now am eating pretty much because I have to. I’m going to see a counselor soon. But it didn’t really work out in the past. We’ll see…..I do not have a death wish and am not suicidal. But I believe part of me doesn’t care if I ever eat again.

[@jill.1617]

I have experienced complicated grief after losing my Dennis in 2020 and my Tim in 2021.

[@rosalynzografos]

My late husband lost his youngest son 2005, he definitely had complex grief. He died last July. I just came from cemetery to leave flowers. I have not experienced complex grief.

[@helenblackwell9383]

Yes

[@sherylmclord7101]

Two months and I am trying to improve my self I know grief is different for each person but am I avoiding or pushing away my sadness to not feel so bad? I miss his presence always. Thanks for your message.

[@Kay-pb8tm]

I'm feeling complicated grief and seeing a grief counsellor..

[@tmking7483]

I sitting in a 100 year old toilet thats never been flushed _i have complicated grief over my murdered pets as a child

[@sarahreid9206]

My compared grief have not identify it and my consloer helping me

[@itsjustme9354]

I lost my dogs recently days apart had them for 13 years than my boyfriend of 9 months left me suddenly he blinded me didn't see it coming. I tried to drown it with alcohol but didn't work only made it worse. The pain especially is excruciating it's also feels like the break up was another death feels like I'm also grieving another death I'm completely broken 💔 😢 I need therapy I've become severely depressed 😔

[@aprilerains4578]

i have complicated grief as i said yes to each behavior. im in a support group, it religious, i feel like im being brainwashed, so many members no chance to express feelings.

[@savirron]

I have complicated grief im alone now in the world i have also mayor depression its more then 3 years and im stuck im not working lots of anxiaty i suffer very much i have also cptsd im in long therapy but it gets worse for me

[@vdp131]

I think my grief has become complicated. It has been 21 months since my son took his life. Around the time of the first anniversary I began having visions of my son. I know what he did and how he did it. The visions began small but grew, and now I see it all, like I am there. I have physical reactions to it. I don't know how to make it go away. I can't think about my son or even look at photos. I can't find peace.

[@sunriseschubert4391]

What's helping me with the loss of my mother, is also prayer to God. 🙏🏻✝️

[@julie-annehansen741]

Dear vdP...loss of a child is considered the worst grief of all ...I lost my son too.. personally, I don't think general grief talk is so effective for those who have lost children .. I lost my husband less than 3 weeks ago ...I know about grief!...I have lived with it for 10 yrs..You may have PTSD...I did because of images of my sons' fear, trauma and death..I found tapping helped...other groups like Compassionate Friends ..and 'Helping Parents Heal..only those who have lost a child were of any help to me ..please get help

[@librarylover6414]

So sorry for your devastating loss. Sending you love.

[@librarylover6414]

I also can’t look at pictures of my daughter or read her texts , emails…almost 4 mos. The loss of a child is unbearable.

[@yokimawhittaker5193]

I'm experiencing complicated grief. I lost my only child to gun violence. He was murdered!😢

[@noremac4807]

Lost somebody, or can it be losing something too? Career, home, relationships, youth, health, regrets ?

[@gildasomia3461]

I am experiencing complicated grief. My son passed 3 years ago. My daughter in law won't allow me access to my 2 grandson's due to her broken relationship with my X husband re their dispute that doesn't involve me. She also doesn't have a relationship with her family. What is your advice please.

[@davidward805]

By the way I am 74 and my wife was older at 80.

[@librarylover6414]

Almost 4 mos after my 29 year old daughter was killed by a hit md run driver …so many questions unanswered . I can’t stop crying. My MIL is trying to lecture me about God. I am furious at God ….also, have several serious illnesses.

[@ginnylamberson4109]

sonoma county mental health sucks, I asked for help frm my PCP therpist and pssychaiatrist and because I won't take my antidepresions they want to admit me

[@Sticksandyarnalways]

3 years since my 80 yo father suicide…. 6months since my 34 yo daughter was killed

[@valeriezushin9419]

“Normal”

[@rosaliethon6285]

grief is pulling yourself out of one rut, and working hard on yourself.. alone, with no support... yet having those who have nothing to offer but will come against you... to cause conflict...when you ask nothing of anyother.. and give...but, no help to build...

[@alleszins936]

Thank you for this explanation. I recognize my own grief after a suicide loss, and then an euthanesia, and then a cancer loss within 1 year, more as delayed than as complicated. When loss comes in huge waves, like it did in my life since 2020, it's just a lot of work - too much. I needed your videos to start to recognize and understand what I've been experiencing. They make me feel not so lost, stuck and desperate. I feel like I now can take concrete steps to support and help myself go through this. I've already been looking for counseling or therapy in my country, but somehow nothing I check out seems to resonate... do you have any advice on how to find the right help? Thank you!