Am I The A**hole? 5 - SimplyPodLogical #71

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On this episode of SimplyPodLogical, Cristine and Ben look at posts on the popular subreddit r/amitheasshole and discuss locking freezers, fake baby showers, paying artists, and four hour-long baths.
0:00 - Hey what’s up holo everyone
0:19 - There’s a Simply Nailogical Discord server! / discord
1:50 - Ben saw a child smoking
5:08 - Reddit posts
5:46 - Am I the asshole for locking my freezer when family comes over?
10:09 - Am I the asshole for taking back my gift from a (fake) baby shower?
18:51 - Am I the asshole for abandoning my roommate because her mother ate my lunch?
24:38 - Am I the asshole for not letting my friend have her wedding on my property after I was uninvited?
31:04 - Am I the asshole for not letting an artist I paid promote herself on my store?
41:10 - Am I the asshole for asking my fiancé to stop taking 4 hour baths?
47:09 - Am I the asshole for telling my wife’s friend to eat a salad?
50:52 - Am I the asshole for telling my rude elderly neighbour I’m a wh*re?
56:03 - Am I the asshole for secretly getting packed lunches from my neighbour?
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[@jinkiisms]

"you're not invited to the wedding anymore but we still want the free venue of your house so can you go away? thanks" completely unhinged omg

[@shannonrobertson7527]

They have an update. They broke up, and OP went no contact because she was in love with him.

[@felixandforrest]

@@shannonrobertson7527 Oh God 😀

[@jinkiisms]

@@shannonrobertson7527 oof, thats wild

[@supersolace2027]

@@shannonrobertson7527 thank you for adding the update 😭

[@aliciakathreine7003]

@@shannonrobertson7527 woah yikes on bikes!

[@katherinerinck3722]

In reference to the guy who doesn't like his wife's packed lunches and feels compelled to accept the neighbor lady's lunches, even though it makes his wife uncomfortable....learn to make your own goddamned lunch!! "I don't like my wife's cooking, waa waa waa". Give me a break. What is this, 1945??

[@baddielifts]

THANK YOU!

[@TeaLeafNeeka]

YEP

[@suzanneknoldeleeuw2905]

Yess!! First thing that crossed my mind!

[@yamicout2]

THISSSS

[@violeta8445]

Fr

[@johku7638]

I just want to highlight that the lunch eating momma is STEALING someone's ONLY food for the day. And that someone is a 22 year old dude starting out on his life and propably doesn't have heaps of money to invest on food. Far from okay.

[@TeaLeafNeeka]

Yeah seriously, they should give him food funds (plus extra for the effort put into cooking) if they’re going to do that (only after coming to a mutual agreement). I can’t believe people like that exist.

[@recoil53]

@@TeaLeafNeeka IF they come to an agreement, mom should pay for everything including his lunch since he is doing the work.

[@kyliek5890]

and like if she likes his food so much she could just provide him with ingredients and ask him to make her lunch

[@applecrispies1794]

A huge red flag to me was that, theres 3 ppl living there, and he’s still paying half the rent? And has the share the space with a whole other person? Wtf.

[@clairer342]

There’s definitely a crazy level of disrespect toward him, so it shouldn’t be on him to come up with a solution

[@Linksliltri4ce]

The woman who threw a baby show for her daughter who wasn’t pregnant and the daughter have some serious psychological trauma going on. Her friends are pregnant and she’s not? Throw her a shower because she’s sad? None of that seems healthy in the slightest! A regular cheer-up party would have been fine and putting on a fake shower is wrong on so many levels. What if the daughter finds out in the future she is unable to carry a child? Throwing a fake shower can have detrimental implications for the daughter’s mental health.

[@caitlumbia]

The mom’s also an AH for lying and enabling her daughter’s psychologically unhealthy response.

[@bunnytsukiko]

i thought the same thing! like what if she finds out she can't carry a child and she has all these baby things from her bogus baby shower laying around

[@RoKer13]

I agree with everything you said. The mom needs to own up to her issues and get some help.

[@lizalove91]

Yeah 100% theres some psychological issues going on there

[@zet7670]

What if it's all one big elaborate scheme to get some free rattles and diapers.

[@odalis1893]

The fact that the mermaid fiancé ran to his moms house after they got into an argument shows that he is not ready for marriage.

[@moyaxoxo5923]

the fact that he locks himself in the bathroom to fap says hes not ready for a relationship

[@corneliastreet3559]

Even if it’s bathing , shut the curtain and let the dude use the restroom

[@paulapearlman]

The bathing boyfriend is a merman and doesn’t want his fiancé to see when he grows a fin lol

[@rhiannonschaumburg564]

😂😂😂😂

[@universalbunny33]

Wait this just makes me think of that one show from like 10 years ago about the girls who would spontaneously turn into mermaids…?

[@truckerdave8465]

@@universalbunny33 Aquamarine? If you liked that, you might like Splash. I love that movie. ETA - Aquamarine was a movie, H2O is the show I think you’re thinking of.

[@yarnandleaves9378]

This is honestly the only reasonable explanation for that story. I find it easier to believe in merpeople than in somebody being so absurdly egoistic. Making their partner go to the gas station to use the bathroom wtf.

[@AnnaLouiseDrejer]

Oh no, the condensation!

[@blueyesfaerie]

There was an update on the wedding one: the poster continued to say no, got harassed by Rick's family for a bit, and eventually Carla called off the wedding and said she was still somewhat in love with the poster. So the poster is now keeping his distance from her too.

[@MissAlmostFine]

No wonder she didn't tell him, smh.

[@melinapapadaki307]

Omg this is so crzy

[@09yulstube]

Doing the Lord's work. Thanks for the update!

[@hotsexyangel]

Welp.. that makes sense lmao

[@WishMyNameWasCool]

I really don’t see a problem with the person locking their freezer. It’s their food in their home. As a kid we would have a relative show up, stay for a week, eat everything, and only leave when we ran out of groceries. I wish we had locked the fridge.

[@mikanchan322]

Heck, my parents locked the sweets in a cabinet because my siblings would eat ALL of it in a matter of hours.

[@Zeverinsen]

I have to *hide* the food or sweets that I buy for myself whenever I'm at my mom's house, lmao. It's terrible

[@corneliastreet3559]

@@Zeverinsen it’s different when you’re staying at someone else’s house, I think

[@FiaraGC]

Ben's tea jealousy is the cutest thing ever. They don't often show affection for each other (at least not in a typical way) so it's definitely adorable to see him being like, "Are you getting tea from another man!?" lmfao

[@kimmy6304]

omgyes, that was so sweet

[@seofra8252]

Just because you don't see the affection doesn't mean it's not happening. We get a small window into a small amount of their lives and Cristine edits the videos. If there was a solid LIVE feed, we may see something different.

[@mintturiia]

@@seofra8252 I think that's what they ment, like they don't show affection in typical way when they're recording. So we don't see that often😁

[@annamurphy1096]

@@seofra8252 That's exactly what they said lol

[@marilyn9191]

That ✨TEA✨ though, like is it just tea ☕️??😅😅

[@jaygreene2257]

The entitlement of the last guy who is mad that his wife doesn't make him lunches he likes...make your own lunch if you're so picky.

[@munkhbayarbattogtokh3870]

Exactly!

[@jadziajan]

My thoughts exactly. And if this other person is making lunch for him everyday, he better pay them.

[@recoil53]

She has kids to pack for too! Like lend a hand there dude.

[@lisatiberi7448]

Yeah, all those great recipes - do it yourself!

[@Jenkinscraftingco2.0]

Yup

[@xchrysantha]

What pissed me off the most about the one regarding the neighbor is how the parents were so focused on their image and not on the fact that this woman insulted their kid. If anyone tried to call my hypothetical daughter a whore, I'd be pissed and I wouldn't just laugh it off.

[@recoil53]

Yeah, you'd hear the ice in my voice right way. If the woman is in her 60's, she was born right about 1960 - shorts and halter tops were normal enough in the 70's and 80's. When did she get so uptight?

[@ImperialVideo]

Its the same line of the toxic mentality of, oh she was dressed inappropriately so she deserved the SA. I am disgusted by the parent's response.

[@maliahwillis4194]

Absolutely agree. The parents shoot stuck up for their daughter and told the lady that their daughter can dress however she wants and the comment was inappropriate and was not the old lady’s place to say

[@hotsexyangel]

Exactly. Their egos are too fragile.

[@ansleighbashore1465]

On the backyard wedding one: I think I remember reading an update that the couple called off the wedding, which is the only way that situation should have ended

[@audrasteia7]

Their relationship seemed hella toxic in the first place anyway (based on the info provided)

[@nikigunn]

I read that, too, and you're right that they cancelled it. The bride was in love with the host, so the jealousy was... I can see why the groom might have felt that way but don't agree with how he handled it. The bride really needs to back away from the friend so she can get over him.

[@recoil53]

@@nikigunn "least he can do for what he did" - it's not just the bride-to-be with issues. Two wrong people getting married.

[@nikigunn]

@@recoil53 I didn't think the groom was in the right at all, and the bride was not mature enough to handle a relationship either. I can understand the very beginning when the groom was upset at being lied to about the former relationship, but not anything he did after that.

[@m.l3483]

Ooo thanks for the update! Makes total sense

[@yarnandleaves9378]

I usually agree with Cristine on these but she's kinda next-level non-confrontational on the ice cream story. Not having ice cream in YOUR freezer because other people don't respect YOUR house rules? Nope. Agree with Ben that OP should have discussed this with the sister first then if it kept happening, I think locking the freezer is actually a valid solution. Many big chest freezers have built in locks by the way and you can buy separate freezer locks to go on them. I could see it being helpful in for example keeping kids from opening freezers and leaving them open unattended or messing with food storage. Or I guess in like shared basements where multiple households have their freezers?

[@TeaLeafNeeka]

I completely agree, I don’t like the idea of changing your life just to be more passive aggressive to other people

[@zet7670]

Step 1: buy box of broccoli Step 2: get rid of broccoli Step 3: hide ice cream bars in the broccoli box

[@recoil53]

Not only that, the teens were leaving a mess.

[@halloumi420]

@@zet7670 even better would be to get ice cream moulds, blend some nasty vegetables then cover with ice cream, put in the moulds and wait for the kids to show up.

[@farklebeans4045]

I agree completely. I also feel like Cristine worded it in a way, that implied the ice cream is purchased for these get togethers, and I don't think that's the case. I think locking a freezer is perfectly acceptable, if other options have proven to be ineffective. I always have snacks in my home for my family, and everyone is respectful about it. If someone was raiding my freezer or cabinets, taking the supplies I paid for, I would lock things away, too.

[@margarethood1742]

Power move. Eat all the ice cream in front of the children 😂

[@coleyoley420]

That is so effed up and hillarious I can't ahahaha 😂🤣

[@sagessedantan]

I don't remember where I saw this quote first, but: "Sometimes people define respect as 'treating someone like a person', sometimes people define respect as 'treating someone like an authority' and sometimes people who say 'if you don't respect me, I won't respect you', really mean 'If you don't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person.'" - and I definitely think that people who say to respect your elders mean "treat your elders like an authority".

[@daria8950]

true

[@placeb0fication]

💯

[@nailsonpointbynina]

well said👏🏻

[@elenakalliste]

Oh yeah. “I don’t have to earn your respect/good treatment, but you have to earn mine” nope

[@ava_lavender]

I'm Asian American, and the culture definitely has a heavy "respect your elders/ancestors" but I think it can go in both directions. My family definitely took it more as "respect your elders' life experiences" rather than "obey their every word."

[@ratalie28]

I can never contain my excitement when it’s an aita

[@iamsheunicorn00]

Same!

[@juliasoszynska1168]

you should check out the Two Hot Takes podcast! they do AITA and other reddit posts

[@LoveCrumb]

Hard same!

[@LoveCrumb]

@@juliasoszynska1168 oohhh thanks for the rec!

[@ratalie28]

@@juliasoszynska1168 I will! Thank you!!

[@Sarahkara1313]

Ben making up the Jen stealing bananas story had me STIFLING LAUGHTER IN MY SHARED OFFICE hahaha - imagining Jen trying to sneak out of the house with a bunch of bananas under her sweater is killing me lolol

[@recoil53]

Jen is actually buying up all the humus from Ben's favorite place. That's why they don't sell it any more.

[@erinokay9991]

No Christine! The mom wasn’t living in that apartment! She clearly had her own home but wanted control over her daughter so she demanded that she get her name on the lease in order to help her daughter with the cost of rent. It’s abusive and disrespectful to everyone involved.

[@KatjeKat86]

If that's true it makes her even nastier than I thought. One of my friends has parents like that, it doesn't make a good relationship.

[@doroparker1702]

The roommate should kick out the mom and daughter. They did the mistake, not him. He needs to get away from them as all the talking did not help. The mother did pop in at the apartment whenever she wanted. This is very disrespectful. The daughter needs to set boundaries to her mother. Helping her daughter with the rent is what a mother is supposed to do. Doesn't mean she has a right to intrude the place and to steal food from daughters roommate. This is just stealing. Just find another place and move on. The girl is too childish to stand up to her mom and her mom is not a good person. Maybe the daughter will grow up and kick her mom out for this. The cooking roommate will find a better place.

[@kalum312]

My sister has a separate mini-fridge that she locks so her husband won't eat her ice cream. The first story instantly reminded me of this.

[@seofra8252]

LMAO!!

[@Sika6061]

You gotta do what you gotta do!

[@commonomics]

That’s perfectly reasonable

[@just_another_account8089]

My coworker buys ice cream that his wife and nephew doesn't like so he doesn't have to share. 🤣

[@Namiine]

so many people on this subreddit are literally so tame. they get treated like dirt and steop un once and even then question if THEY are the AHs. No, youre not. Its okay to defend yourself and not get used.

[@pterocardio]

nah many people in this subreddit post because they want to be validated in feeling like they're in the right

[@mikanchan322]

And the commenters are the opposite and are immediately ready to encourage breaking off relationships and lowering yourself to someone else's level without knowing all context. Sometimes that's justified, not always.

[@gillsanstype]

@@pterocardio Many people on that subreddit are making things up for internet points.

[@izzatihassan1475]

@@mikanchan322 yep most of the Reddit asnwers are like "major red flag! Excommunicate your family! Divorce your partner! Kick out your friend!" Lol.

[@riotgrrrl8807]

I suspect the AH: non AH ratio on this subreddit is pretty low, because real AHs might not even question themselves, care about other people's opinions or be reluctant to posting their story because deep down they sense they are an AH.

[@marysmith3057]

Ben is not only happy being a tea slave, but he is possesively Cristines tea slave. Couple goals!

[@jenb7780]

It's so cute!

[@mundanepants]

The person with the locked freezer: they did right. It's their freezer. They should be able to have whatever they want in it and control the level of access to it, and now they have. The sister and the kids are being entitled, using it and its content as their own. OP drew firm boundaries. HOWEVER, they should've communicated these boundaries before the locking.

[@sarahnelson3335]

I'm very confused on how HR would have any bearing on a matter that occurred outside of work.

[@katiezellers7106]

I grew up heavily told to respect my elders. The adults in my house acted like they couldn't be wrong and I was consistently told that "kids should be seen and not heard" and "What good is having kids if you cant make them clean?". At the same time as I was being told to respect my elders, verbal abuse was rampant and caused severe anxiety and depression to develop in me and my cousins. Now I have completely disavowed the concept of respecting your elders and have shifted to treating everyone equally at first and shifting the way they are treated based on how they treat me. My mom was horrified when I explained the concept to her a few years ago. I was hit as a kid as well and she still sometimes threatens me with it (I'm 25 now). I've explained that people being older than me doesn't give them the right to hit me and abuse me, and that I would fight back if someone tried to. You would think that my mother would understand that logic but she just got pissed that I said I would hit her back. Now I've had to cut out a few people in my family while the rest of the problematic ones have died off, but that still leaves me and my cousins with lasting mental scars that we have to work with. Age doesn't make you a saint, it doesn't make you right, and it doesn't make you a good person; how you treat people does that. That being said, I feel bad for the girl who was shamed by the neighbor. Shame on that girls parents for not standing up for their daughter and to hell with all of them. I hope she is able to stick to her guns and find a better support system.

[@recoil53]

I didn't grow up in an abusive family, but I stopped putting up with that as a kid. You want to be respected, you act respectable. Period. Leeway is for me to grant.

[@KreeZafi]

Good on you for standing up for yourself, and I'm sorry to hear you grew up under such abusive circumstances!

[@glytergyrl123]

they’re probably that way as some kind of revenge fantasy, like their parents made them blindly obey so they grew up expecting that someday when they have kids they’ll be able to have that power too

[@manyamathur6764]

I'm in this exact situation rn and I'm so glad you cut off the people who were abusive to you. You're doing great

[@specialj67]

Re: the disinvited from the friend’s wedding. I’m willing to bet that the poster was offering their home free of charge, which is why the friend and her fiancé still wanted to have their wedding there even after they disinvited him. That’s my theory anyway. Weddings seem to warp people’s sense of propriety since there can be a lot of money involved with throwing one. Not that I’m defending the friend or her fiancé-I’m not. Just trying to find an explanation for their actions that makes sense to me.

[@kpwxx]

Also not defending (poster is definitely NTA!) but it could also be a matter of availability. They may struggle to find another suitable venue/that they like in the area depending on how much time is left before the wedding.

[@KaylaKasel]

Here's a question: Would it be better if they paid for the backyard/house as a venue rather than expecting it for free?

[@kpwxx]

@@KaylaKasel I think even if they had a proper agreement that they would use this space, and pay this amount (a reasonable amount, not a token amount) they still cannot expect the owner to not be there - that would be like booking a normal venue and then later saying you want the the staff not to be there. The owner of the property is under no obligation to continue with the agreement due to the significant change of terms, imo. Not to mention it still being also really odd lol.

[@KaylaKasel]

@@JessicaLee-ck5pw I'm not sure what this means. Could you clarify?

[@ceciliatapioca]

@@KaylaKasel I think if I was in the OP position I would agree to still have the wedding under 2 conditions: 1) treating the backyard as a normal venue a charging a fee for it. 2) renting them the backyard and the backyard only, so I can stay in my house and they can have the party outside and they can get ready somewhere else. Although I wouldn’t know what the bathroom situation would be like 🤣

[@_Usakoi_]

The take I have on the last one is... why can't he make his own lunch?? It always baffles me when I come across stories like these where the one partner seemingly expects the other partner to prepare their lunches for them. Especially in the cases where the one expected to make the lunches is a homemaker or full-time parent... WHY IS IT EXPECTED TO BE THEIR JOB TO MAKE YOU FOOD? If I make food for someone, it's because I love them and want to share that with them or because it's my child and she can't make her own food yet. I've never been expected to prepare someone's food where that someone is completely capable of taking care of themselves. /rant

[@Corn22]

LITERALLY LMAO. i was listening to this just like…make your own damn lunch? lmaoooo??? sir???

[@ameeshagupta2559]

Agreed. If he's not liking the food he should make it himself.

[@jeweldivagirl]

Also he was keeping it from his significant other, so not only was she still probably making him lunch but he was going behind her back to eat lunch made by another woman she does not know. I also think it's interesting he left out the woman's age or if she were married. Very suspish

[@blueberrybop]

Exactly. If you don't like your wife's food, cook your own food, buy food, or shut up and be grateful that your partner cooks you food at all. There are kids who start cooking because the parents aren't good cooks, so why can't a husband do the same if he's unsatisfied with the food?!

[@blueberrybop]

@@jeweldivagirl It IS suspicious, but even if nothing is going on with the neighbor, it is disrespectful towards your wife to reject her efforts to care for you and your family.

[@dreamairatea2712]

As someone who literally bathes for hours some days due to my arthritis...yeah that person was not just taking a bath. Door locked, and refusing to let someone in? Nah, he is doing something shady.

[@celloafterdark4173]

That guy with his roommates mom eating his food should put a lock on the fridge 😂

[@recoil53]

And his bedroom door. Ben's right - when he's out you know she's digging through his stuff.

[@yippeeioh]

One should have the basic right to live in one's space without locking everything up

[@brigettelares1975]

christine's non confrontation energy is so relatable for me.

[@TeaLeafNeeka]

I’m the complete opposite lol

[@chey_daniella]

The bathroom one surprised me because I can't imagine a person being intimate and planning to marry a person but refusing to let them use the bathroom while they're in there?? Like I even let my family use the bathroom and brush their teeth while I'm showering. If there's one bathroom, you have to share lol.

[@uorimoon]

As an artist myself: If the dude has a contract and that they had signed away ALL rights to the design, they cannot use it to advertise themselves. You signed away the rights full stop.If you want to continue to use these things as promotional material after the purchase, you have to have it stated clearly in the contract so that you can use it. Otherwise the company has the right to stop you and even sue you unfortunately. If you want it for your promotional material/Portfolio, make sure its stated that you can use it in that manner. I deal in commercial designs for some people and have separate rates for it, and make it clear I retain the right to show it in my portfolio/credit is given somewhere.

[@itsyagirl8475]

I feel like everybody sucks in that post. The op should have never purchased a design from a competitor. In my opinion there is a difference between buying a design off of a company that sells designs, and buying a design off of a company that sells the same things you do. It gets messy and causes stuff like this to happen.

[@kulsoomjawaid6411]

@@itsyagirl8475 but how is it his fault? Like you can say that's not a good business practice, or that you wouldn't recommend it, but he's not in the wrong for offering the deal and then completing it when the artist agreed...

[@breille9723]

Out of curiosity, do you think there is a legal difference in how the artist words things? Like a legal difference between "this is my design" implying ownership and "I drew this" simply being a true statement? Obviously realistically the artist pulled a shitty move, but laws are super technical

[@uorimoon]

@@itsyagirl8475 the way the story is written it makes it out that the artist realized their work is good enough on merchandise and they started selling it that way afterwards. Even if it is a competitor, they had a contract that both wouldve had to discuss thoroughly. I think the other person mightve been inexperienced in the industry of commercialized work and didnt understand that they need to work by contract rules and they need to state their conditions through that. OP isnt at fault at all aside from just giving a gentle reminder to them in DM that this is against the contract and this is what they agreed upon.

[@uorimoon]

@@breille9723 it might be a mix up on that, i think so! Inexperience in commercial terms can lead to that and this is why its always good to get second opinions or even just ask to clarify rights between both parties. more detail = better overall understanding in contracts. I have a few NDAs i have to follow and even tho in my rules i state i retain all rights to share the piece vis portfolio,we also agreed i am not permitted to upload until the usage of the NDAd product is public. Communication is key in legal matters!

[@thatsuspiciouswhalenut]

To the packed lunch guy at the end: learn to cook and make better food. Easy. Also to the roommate food situation: never take a roommates food without permission it's a deadly sin. If it's stuff like cereal fine but replace what you took before it's empty. It's especially rude for the roommates mother to steal food and not replace it from the roommate who stems half of the rent while she only pays a quarter. If that had been my roommate and I'd found my lunch missing at 6 am I'd wake her the fuck up to rip her a new one. Unacceptable

[@recoil53]

That's how you get places where everything is marked and there are dividing lines in the fridge. And left overs are one thing, but "sorry not sorry for eating your lunch"? WTF is that?

[@Sika6061]

Totally agree. However, I would say if this insane person wants to eat their cooking, why can't the OP just make her lunch and charge her for it? Seems a lot easier to do that than to find a new place. They're NTA though. If that crazy mother was going to eat the food I needed for work it would be war, and I'd be telling my friend off for not supporting me. The mother is totally in the wrong here, and she should be booted out toot-sweet. Too bad the OP has to move. Moving is such a pain.

[@val3kyria]

From the creators of Freezer lock, we need a Lunchbox lock now…nothing’s safe anymore :(

[@losemyhead419]

yeah, for the second one, i'd be like what the fuck did your mom really just eat my lunch? even if it wasn't OP's only source of food during work hours, it's still out of line to steal someone's _packed lunch_. i can't wrap my head around the concept of doing this, getting called out for it, and continuing to do it lmao? it's so absurd

[@NWolfsson]

"Oh, you know how Ilove your cooking, just can't help myself!" Ma'am, you are not my mother, nor my girlfriend nor even my aunt. Please do not act as if we were related.

[@youcancallmedoctor]

With the artist story, all I can think of is ghost writers. I'm pretty sure ghost writers aren't allowed to go to book reviews to say "actually, I wrote this and here's my site with my other books." Wouldn't the legal and professional precedents have already been set by ghost writing contracts?

[@jaquec9]

I'm pretty sure with ghost writers they usually sign NDAs which is why they can't claim to have written the books. It doesn't sound like the shop owner did that here, so I would think it doesn't really apply

[@KatjeKat86]

Did I hear the story wrong because I was sure that the artist went to the T-shirt seller's Instagram not their business page which is unprofessional but it is their work. To me it sounds like the shirt seller didn't want to admit that they didn't make the designs themselves.

[@mandylee3139]

I remember reading the last one, but the poster definitely reposted after heavy editing. The info your missing was in there, and the poster is an Asshole. In the original post, he liked her cooking just fine, she just used to put a lot of effort in, but because she has to take care of two children now, she didn't put as much care in making it special. Then he started getting it elsewhere, because he didn't like them as much.

[@denisha8596]

Oh, he's getting it elsewhere all right.

[@pearlygirl88]

Yeah, that one was so messed up. I don’t know how people can be so clueless.

[@jacklynr8926]

Yes you're right! I remember those details but assumed it was just a similar story since they were gone.

[@idasnderstruphorskjr-bro4160]

Poor HR people... Also: Registry gift are often expensive, and I see why you would take back a gift from someone I didn't actually know, especially when you are not made of money.

[@sighcantthinkofaname]

To me, respecting your elders just means not being mean to them for being out of touch. On the light side of this it's just not making a big deal out of them not getting pop culture references or keeping up to date with technology. On the more extreme side, it's being kind to people with alzheimers and dementia who may repeat the same story over and over, or being patient with someone who's no longer able to do simple things by themselves. It does not mean blind obidience to anyone more than ten years your senior.

[@caprisun6910]

Isnt that just being a decent human being, though? I was always taught respecting your elders means respecting someone thats had more life experience than you; so more often than not they know better.

[@Behre_simple_life]

I don’t think this is how it is always taught though. I actually struggled with speaking up in my teens and as a young adult because I was always taught “respect your elders” or “don’t question me” by my parents. Even if I knew someone was wrong I would never speak up about it because I felt it wasn’t my place if they were older than me. This isn’t healthy, and I wish the adults in my life wouldn’t have been so literal about this. Obviously you should have manners when speaking to someone older than you (just be polite to most people in general, unless they give you a reason not to be), but to be taught to never question someone because of their age is so unhealthy.

[@faeriesmak]

I like this!

[@judyh3707]

Great way to put it

[@urmumzknt]

Exactly. I was always taught that respecting your elders means things like giving up your seat on the bus for them, helping an old lady cross the street, taking in the trash cans for an elderly neighbor who has no one to do it for him, etc. And also stuff like speaking to them with respect, meaning don't cuss, be patient, be polite, address them as sir/ma'am/Mr. or Ms. I think a lot of this mentality is being lost with every new generation, but that's another story.

[@ofelsewhere13]

The fake baby shower reminds of of those kids who go to someone's else's birthday party and would throw a fit becuase it's not theeeeeir birthday party but also get a gift from their parents so it "doesn't make them feel bad" 🙄

[@tillycomedy2194]

Yep!! Rhonda and her daughter is what happens when that child becomes an adult.

[@squidneythesquid2487]

omfg i forgot about those kids

[@lauraoergel6003]

Ice cream: she handled it perfectly, no ice cream for assholes. The kids won't come over again until they learn to respect the rules (Not) baby shower: yeah, im keeping the gift since its not appropriate to give baby gifts to someone whose NOT HAVING A BABY. False pretenses in this case warrant no gift needed. In another instance would be inappropriate (new job/home that fell through at last minute maybe?)

[@TeaLeafNeeka]

Yeah the whole “don’t take the present because my daughter will be happy opening them” thing is so weird

[@oliviahutchinson8650]

If her daughter had a or more miscarriages I would be more sympathetic about this but with info on the surface I think it is acceptable for not pa to take gift back since it wasn't intended for a no baby shower

[@zeft2817]

@@oliviahutchinson8650 even if she's had a miscarriage it's still weird af

[@TastyYazz]

With the "eat a burger" "eat a salad" thing, putting aside the creepy bit about knowing their weights, if this woman has been saying this "joke" over and over and over for YEARS to her friend who doesn't see it as a joke and ONE TIME her husband responds with the "joke" going the other way, she has a right to be a little annoyed, but maybe internalize that feeling and realize that what she's doing has been hurting her friend like that every time she's said it instead of just being super PO'ed.

[@bex1107]

But at the same time, they absolutely should have said “hey, I don’t find that funny. Could you please stop.” Like you said, if she had been saying the same thing for years and no one as said anything, how would she know it bothered her. Maybe she thought it was some inside joke. If it really bothered them, they should have said something. Plus, the poster is oboe douche so I don’t even know how much I trust his perspective.

[@ItsXochitlBaby]

No lol. You tell them not to make those jokes anymore.

[@kristenl2367]

15:13 I mean, to me it sounds like both "Rhonda" and her daughter were in on it because it was the daughter who was sending angry Facebook messages. The whole scenario has such weird and manipulative vibes. Something tells me the OP will have no problem with HR.

[@sashadelarosa2713]

Truee and i’m genuinely confused why would “rhonda” think that they can get the gift back through HR when its not even work-related or within the work premise like what?!? Can someone explain T_T (also i feel empathy for the HR huhu)

[@alejandraguzman9842]

yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[@brileonn]

HR takes forever to deal with real actually work-related problems. Rhonda's just kidding herself 😂

[@recoil53]

HR or any boss does not want to deal with people's personal lives. If harassment is coming from one direction and nobody has retaliated in any way, it ends pretty badly for Rhonda.

[@ChristinaOurWoodHome]

re: the fake baby shower The poster said Rhonda's daughter was feeling sad that her friends were having babies which is why she threw the party. I imagine the daughter wanted to have some baby things to make her feel better and have some comfort. It reminds me of the old idea of making a hope chest for young unmarried women. Typically a hope chest has housewares, baby items, etc for when the young women is married and has her own children. But yeah, it's weird to have frame that kind of party as a baby shower...maybe instead do a regular party? If Rhonda had said her daughter needed a pickmeup, people could have brought gifts for her specifically.

[@HenryPh_am]

Isn’t that party just a scam?

[@ChristinaOurWoodHome]

@@HenryPh_am fake baby shower: a scam pickmeup party where guests are told that is the reason IN ADVANCE: not a scam

[@sashadelarosa2713]

Yeah i do agree that the mom should just not tell people to go to a baby shower without telling them that its not for a baby and i think it would be better to do a different approach to making the daugther happy cuz lying like that to take gifts from other people who bought that gift for something else and that sucks either way

[@adamlambboy8332]

They literally could have just taken her out to dinner. The whole party thing is so unnecessary. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I grew up around people who didn’t care, but I don’t get why she needed a party. Seeing other people living your dream sucks but life goes on. Keep trying for what you want and if you don’t get it go for something else. It’s detrimental to your mental health to put all your eggs in one basket.

[@caprisun6910]

Exactly, its all about intent

[@Raevynwing]

My deep freeze has a built in small lock, it's meant to keep children from climbing into it while playing, as many have died that way I would assume.

[@kaedatiger]

Back in the day when kids were unsupervised they would sometimes get stuck in abandoned fridges.

[@amandasparks334]

Re: rude neighbor calls 18f a slut I was hit on by and older guy while I was a college intern (in a work environment), he told me I “have beautiful eyes” which sounds tame but was clearly laced with enough creepiness that other adult men and younger interns were very uncomfortable. I told my boyfriend about it and he gave me a great comeback that I intend to use for those kind of “compliments” in the future. Next time my response will be to smile and say “thanks, they’re not mine…” and then just walk away…

[@random6579]

Your boyfriend is a genious! Nice way to creep out the creeps

[@recoil53]

Huh, something for me to think about. I've told a woman they had nice eyes, meaning nothing more than what I said. Not hitting on her or anything, just saw something and said something. Lesson learned.

[@MsEverAfterings]

@@recoil53 I think context matters. It was a work setting and she was an intern; a full-time employee complimenting on her looks without any prompt would seem very inappropriate and borderline harassment depending on how the recipient views it. I am also assuming that they are not close or friendly enough for such compliments.

[@ishabiswas8224]

@@recoil53 Depends, didja tell a coworker or a junior that out of the blue in a professional work environment ? If not, prolly fine. But pls don't come up to total strangers on the street either to tell em stuff like that, they get spooked. Unless that's your goal lmao. I got told about how pretty I am and things completely without context and from total strangers on the freaking bus stop and shit, and lemme tell you, my hackles would rise out of suspicion cuz I know how some douches can be.

[@recoil53]

@@ishabiswas8224 It wasn't work and not on the street. I wouldn't do either.

[@Marnige]

"Just act confused and let them explain themselves when people discriminate you". That is great advice!

[@julieweikart3753]

Just saying there’s WAY more to the “Fake Baby” Story! Rhonda apparently started making fun of the OP in front of customers at work! Would recommend reading!

[@purelife9013]

OK the question of when is the statute of limitations over on taking a gift back: my boyfriend and I just went to his cousins surprise birthday party at a very expensive restaurant. In the group chat that we were all invited from said the dinner was paid for already but there would be a $50 ‘fee’ for each person to pay for the open bar tab. In the chat my boyfriend explained that he and I would not be drinking for a number of reasons. We didn’t hear anything back so we never gave the cousin who planned the party the $50 for the bar tab. When we got to the actual restaurant the planner approached us and asked why we hadn’t paid for the open bar yet. We said we explained in the group text that we wouldn’t be drinking so we wouldn’t be utilizing the open bar therefore instead of having an open bar for 25 people the open bar was only going to be for 23 people so we didn’t feel like we needed to pay $50 each. We were then told that if we wanted to sit down and eat dinner with the rest of the party that we would need to give her $50 each or else we weren’t able to stay. She started to make a scene as well while saying this to us. So very calmly we opened up the envelope for the birthday boy and took out the hundred dollar bill that we put in the envelope and handed it to the other cousin that plan the party and said here’s the bar tab fee now birthday boy is not getting a gift because this could’ve been told to us prior to us coming to the restaurant and making a scene and embarrassing us. Technically this isn’t so much as taking a gift back but it was more so a way of withdrawing the gift we had planned to give.

[@surprisehaircut]

What a power move, I'm here for it

[@MotosASMR]

An alternate route you could take is to say very loudly and in a very offended tone that you have a yeast allergy and can't drink alcohol. Make them look like the bad guy if they're gonna publicly embarrass you like that. Or maybe I'm just petty 😂

[@Jessicalovechocolate]

Justified to me

[@purelife9013]

Another guest wasn’t drinking because she is pregnant and they made her pay too.

[@MotosASMR]

@@purelife9013 Really?? Omg what assholes 😧

[@rominagd]

listening to this AITA, I cannot believe how selfish people can be! most of them are not the A at all and the fact that selfish people make them doubt like that! I would kick off that momma's boy that take hours in the tub in a blink of an eye.

[@MizguidedGhost]

We're also only hearing one side of the arguments but for this episode in particular, yeah they didn't seem like A's

[@zeft2817]

Off topic but ur pretty

[@rominagd]

@@zeft2817 thank u 🙈

[@timforwin7184]

About the child smoking: My boyfriend is 19 now and the last time we went to see a movie that was PG-13 (!) they asked to see his ID. A guy wanting to sell us a new internet provider or something at our doorstep asked him if his parents were home and when he told him he did not live with them, the guy laughed and was really embarassed. People constantly think I'm his MOM even tho we are the same age. You might think you can tell peoples age but if a kid is 12 or 17 is really hard to see sometimes...

[@rowanelizabeth24]

I was thinking the same thing!! I'm 19 and people still assume I'm like 13 or 14 all the time. For some people it's really hard to tell

[@MrsMrMoney]

But why would they card him for a PG 13 movie when 13 year olds don’t have ID?

[@jadziajan]

@@MrsMrMoney I don't know what country you live in, but I had an ID when I was 9. This commenter might just live in a different country from you.

[@alittlebitoftoday7809]

I'm 27 and recently got 16! 😂😂😂 But ultimately I think that the determination that the kid was a kid is accurate based on the mom telling the kid to stop when she saw someone looking. Why would she bother if he was of purchasing age?

[@hailyjohnson407]

Yep 😂 I'm 21, but I regularly get asked if I'm old enough to work at my job (while I'm literally working) or asking if I'm old enough to drive (while I have my car keys in my hand, and my credit card in my hand, pumping gas into my own car with no passengers and clearly am the only one who could have driven it there). And my boyfriend and I usually don't have too many issues, but occasionally people think he's a creeper even though he's literally like 10 months older than me, but he looks about 25-26 on his own, and I look about 13-15 on my own without context 😅 but we're both 21. It's so frustrating to be treated as a child or asked patronizingly where my parents are when I'm literally a senior in college and have lived away from home for 4 years, and the last 2 have been completely on my own and in my own place rather than dorms.

[@VamLoveAndKisses]

The point about commenting on someone's weight/eating habits is interesting. Personally I think it's inappropriate to comment on anyone's diet or size whether they're super skinny or really large whether it's positive or negatively. And as someone who has struggled with body image and food I have found that when I lost weight people would praise and congratulate me but if I gained weight that stopped. I also noticed a few people would make odd comments along the lines of "you never eat" or "you live off salad" when I absolutely didn't. I think for some it is from a place of jealousy or insecurity, but for others it might actually be from a place of concern, and could be their way of insinuating they think you're slipping into possible disordered eating. But from my perspective, you never what's going on inside someone's head regardless of their size, it's none of your business so don't comment on it.

[@rhiannonschaumburg564]

Yes, 100%. People can lose or gain weight for any number of reasons, and you can't tell someone's health based on their body size - it is *always* inappropriate to comment on someone's body.

[@krisb675]

I'm so triggered by this comment. Body shaming is body shaming, period! I lost some weight and people noticed but then I quit smoking and gained it back. No lie, when one lady (who is a larger woman) noticed, she asked what happened and why I gained so much weight. I said I quit smoking and she said I should start smoking again! Wtf!

[@BubbleBunnyy]

I think the friend was jealous because it sounded that way. It's really rude of the friend when that is supposed to be her friend. If she was really concerned I am sure she would be like "are you eating enough you're looking quite thin I hope you're doing okay and you can always talk to me" not "EAT A BURGER YOURE SO SKINNY IT'S NOT CUTE LOOK THERE IS A BURGER PLACE OVER THERE!!!" Its so rude.

[@juliannaistyping]

YES! ANY comment regarding one's body or eating habits is harmful. Even if it is out of concern, pestering someone about their body or behavior will just end up making that person feel bad/worse. Like you said, at the end of the day, it's no one's business to comment (regardless if it's positive or negative).

[@Haylla2008]

As a child, my sisters called me fat and told me I needed to lose weight (I wasn't even chubby by most people's standards). A few years later, I looked skinnier and they called me anorexic (I wasn't and never have been nor have I had any eating disorder). It's a really thin line you have to walk to please other people. Usually healthier and always easier to set your own standards to live by.

[@ekit254]

Just what I need to play in background!

[@annemiekdenijs7750]

Exactly this! Just got home from work and now doing chores with this podcast. It's the best

[@ratstanduser]

I know right!

[@haleybrooke8243]

Love listening to these while I wfh! :)

[@xchrysantha]

Goddamn we're already on 5?! 🤣 These are the best though. I've been anxious all day about something I'm going through, and this is the perfect intellectual nonsense to keep me grounded lol. Thank you!!!💕

[@---qn1nw]

You guys post on the perfect time. I cleaned my room , folded the laundry ,finally placed all the trinkets in their places I had been putting of for a while,wrote in my diary and cleaned a bit of my bookshelf. Thank you for the moral support.

[@KamisKisses]

For the roommate with the greedy Mom, food costs money. cooking takes time, it is perfectly fine to leave and you don't owe them and explanation. For the fake baby shower, presents are given for a reason and if that reason is no longer valid, take that present back because presents also cost money. Rick and Carla when you start paying her ex's mortgage then you can tell him what their house, have your wedding at the courthouse

[@kristenl2367]

56:50 Honestly? I think if the OP thinks his wife is so bad at cooking, HE should try to take on that role. If the food is bad? No one to blame but himself. If the food is good? Success! He shall be known throughout the land as a master chef. He can even make something once in awhile to give to this nice neighbor as repayment for those lunches. A full circle ending 🤣

[@ameeshagupta2559]

True why should his wife only cook. If he doesn't like her cooking, it's better he make it himself or eat the lunch his wife prepares without complaining.

[@burntcheerio18]

I forgot it was Tuesday so when I saw this I was overjoyed

[@anemolle]

Same here!

[@kennedychristian9579]

Same 😝

[@holosocko4818]

Same 😜

[@sashadelarosa2713]

This is the best part of my day hehehe

[@Syd448]

We had developmental disabled adults living in our home growing up because my mom was a home teacher and one of them had an issue with eating a lot of food at night, we had a lock on our fridge growing up. I don’t think that’s weird at all.

[@zabrinahubbard4309]

To answer Ben's burning present question: The moment the person opens the gift is the moment you cant take it back. If its just sitting on the table or something unopened its fair game.

[@jayahmoore7251]

I beg to differ, what if the person complains about the gift and implies it isnt enough and casts it to the side without even really engaging with it. I would 100% snatch my shit and leave, ungrateful swines.

[@amberpask9701]

@@jayahmoore7251 lmao I did this with a 7 year old cousin when I was 18. I'd just started earning my own money and I was so excited to be able to buy presents for my family at Christmas. I bought my 7yo cousin a game boy type thing that had 25 games on it. Just a silly little thing but he loved gaming and it was meant for if he got bored in the car or something. He complained that the graphics weren't good enough (hadnt opened the box yet) and that it was "for babies" (ultimate insult from a 7 year old) so I just said, okay, you dont want it? I'll take it back then and give it to someone less ungrateful. He started whining and everyone said I had ruined christmas.

[@andievaldez6476]

@@amberpask9701 I applaud you. You didn't ruin Christmas by taking the gift back, your cousin ruined Christmas by being a choosing beggar.

[@amberpask9701]

@@andievaldez6476 thank you!! :)

[@brivalentine3361]

I disagree with that. If the gift was given based off of a lie then you can take that shit back anytime

[@MelissaK133]

I have a Chinese mother, and an Australian Dad. My Mum's culture has always been to respect your elders. But as I have grown up, I have come to the conclusion that we should respect everyone as a basic human being - not because of age. However, if someone gives you reason to lose your respect for them, you shouldn't feel obligated to have that respect just because they are your 'elders'

[@sashadelarosa2713]

I think the some of us can agree that even if someone if like your friend, relative, someone’s parent that you know or just a roommate, it is very very crucial to respect other people’s boundaries and not to take from them without their interest or if they said it directly and i think we need human decency here cuz its does not matter if you’re old or young

[@Writergirl716]

The packed lunch one is definitely crossing a boundary with the wife's trust by getting lunch from another lady, especially after the wife asked him not to.

[@deanmokrozhaev9367]

About the artist t-shirt one: My textile print teacher actually spoke about this once! If you create a textile print (placement like in graphic tees or repeats like in a Hawaiian shirt for eg) you of course can attempt to sell it. You can sell the work if you work with a print studio or if you freelance. We spoke to someone with a textile print studio and they were able to keep the prints they've made in a portfolio but that one was to be pitched to companies if this person was to apply for a job with a different studio. However they were not allowed to publicly claim ownership of these prints as the companies that bought them had bought all the rights to the print and the original creator didn't have any rights to monetise or promote with them. So yes definitely get a lawyer to double check!

[@Purplepotion]

Bodyshaming for bigger or skinnier people is still bodyshaming and it is not OK.👌

[@eleanor5922]

Thank you! I hate when people negatively discuss underweight people but see nothing wrong with it as its not “fat shaming”

[@GoldTurds]

Ben, you wouldn't be an asshole for saying something about a child smoking. His mother buys them for him, which is against the law.

[@KreeZafi]

The person who locked their freezer was totally in the right, and the mother should be deeply embarrassed by her kids' behavior! I couldn't even imagine taking any type of food in someone else's house without asking permission first, no matter how close we are. The fact that they just waltz themselves to the freezer and take SEVERAL ice creams?! Holy shit the audacity is unfathomable! If I was the mother of those kids I would apologize profusely, scold the kids, and offer to buy more ice cream as reimbursement. That whole situation was really shocking!

[@roxypicasso66]

i 100% agree. nice pfp btw ;) memento mori, friend

[@KreeZafi]

@@roxypicasso66 Memento mori, friend 💀

[@BackstageGaga]

I feel like the lady making the person a packed lunch every day could be old and looking to feel needed or just looking for something to do. I use to work in aged care and would see very similar scenarios take place regularly.

[@runewarrior43]

That was my thought exactly. I know it’s not very common but there are people who genuinely like to just help others because it gives them a sense of purpose.

[@KaylaKasel]

It also felt like it was being used as an excuse to socialize for her, which feels important to acknowledge. Maybe the compromise is to split the lunches between the two people?

[@proxymoxie7882]

I can only think though, that the wife wouldn't be uncomfortable if it was an elderly woman.

[@alligibson2887]

That family drove in from the Ottawa Valley, 100%🤣🤣 I grew up in Renfrew and 13 year olds smoking is a very normal occurrence unfortunately

[@erica1800]

honestly the ice cream bar, lunch stealing, and the wedding venue ones all kind of have an overarching issue of people being entitled and not being responsible. like especially for the ice cream and lunch stealing one - unless there's an agreement that this food is free for all, i think you should be nice and replace it if you ate it but in general respect it's not yours. like i don't understand the amount of gall one must have to do that and not have the decency to contribute or even replace the food in question... as for the wedding venue one - i was understanding of the fiancé until he demanded the wedding still take place there because "its the least he can do after everything." like it is not OPs fault he dated your fiancée before you did and it's pretty annoying they're expecting to still be able to hold the wedding there after uninviting the homeowners...like having a wedding at someone else's house is a big ask and since it wasn't mentioned they were being paid (i assume not) they aren't obligated to still push through since it's their home and they don't feel comfortable anymore.

[@recoil53]

The wedding one is entitlement too. Or manipulative. But where did he get friends who are defending the guy and saying the house owner is being petty? I'm supposed to give this overly possessive, jealous creep free run of my house? I'm supposed to get out? Hey, our friend groups change through life, sounds like he can prune off a few.

[@KreeZafi]

I cannot get over the shock of the ice cream and lunch stealing stories, that level of insane entitlement and rudeness seems like something that only exists in sitcoms! The fact that actual real human beings act that way really disgusts me

[@aliciacuellar5709]

Last time my brother visited for the holidays, he kept eating my food. At least my parents apologized or replaced it. Cuz ya know, ✨boundaries✨

[@killuz9355]

in brazil you cant even sell authorship claim. you can sell rights to reproduction and commercial use but copyrights will always be tied to the author. if your contract specifies that you're selling the authorship it will be a null clause. it's 100% inalienable.

[@nectarina3891]

It seems possible that rhonda and her daughter are going to return the gifts to the store for cash or store credit.

[@BillysMom]

Or re-sell it online to get money.

[@sashapriboy]

@@BillysMom I’m certain it was the plan, I don’t think they have any other use for a bunch of baby care items

[@DivinityFallen]

Honestly they’re definitely scammers

[@Veghead25]

I love this theme for the pod, but I wish that you'd look at some comments from the posts and discuss those as well. For an additional point of view.

[@martinasivristrbova5526]

YES!

[@dojipla4968]

omg yesssss

[@kanesmith870]

The conversion after the respect your elders is how I got all my exs homophopic friends to stop saying "thats gay" I would always respond with "well the gays are known for that" they all stopped saying it in front of me pissed my ex off

[@ShinycrazyJenn]

For the smoking situation at the top of the podcast, my husband started smoking around that age and his doctor told his mother that it was better to let him do that as self-medicating because it was like the least worst option. He's 41 now and cannot quit nicotine. It didn't work out great.

[@recoil53]

I question the medical degree of that doctor. Sure, let the kid self medicate on something addictive and damaging. Let's not even address precipitating problem or the smoking problem.

[@shrutimishra242]

this is shocking. there are so many healthier alternatives that one could turn to, especially at the age of 13 (starting with therapy for example), and the doctor though smoking was the least harmful option??? unbelievable. i feel sad about this

[@herzen9857]

About the fiancé taking 4 hour baths: are they ok? I also enjoy taking long baths to relax (like 2 hours) but i only ever stayed in the bathroom for 4 hours when i was depressed. Not diagnosing the fiancé! I'm not saying they're most likely depressed. I'm just wondering if they're taking such long baths because they're not feeling well mentally because 4 hours is definitely a very long time for a bath

[@Sika6061]

Good point. Also, if they knew about this behavior, the primary thing I'd be looking for when I was looking for an apartment would be 1 1/2 baths minimum or have an agreement with the fiancé to share the space. I don't understand how they could know this about each other and not have this figured out ahead of time. It doesn't bode well for their future IMO. Communication is key.

[@emb_ivy]

How is the water not just absolutely freezing after that long? After qn hour my tub is so cold 🥶

[@Sika6061]

@@emb_ivy He's probably letting the water out and then adding more hot water. I used to love baths too once upon a time, but I don't think I ever took a bath for that long. @Herzen is probably right about depression IMO.

[@sprigganpanda]

I take long baths and I have stayed in them for 4 hours, I can't speak for the fianće but I don't think it necessarily means that they're depressed. For me I just find that it's a good place to think so I tend to stay in there for longer because I guess I just think a lot. It's also just comforting to be surrounded by warm water so I like to prolong that for as long as possible

[@ambiecraft]

The “Ben saw a child smoking” chapter title sent meeee 😭

[@yueneechan]

Re: respect your elders Grew up in a culture where respecting your elders is supposed to be the default. I have never followed this "rule". Fiance's family is a stickler for it and, unlike my family who knows not to bother with it anymore, fights me on it all the time. I say fuck em. You can earn my respect like everyone else.

[@recoil53]

Chinese-American here and I've always felt the same way. If you spout off stupid things, if you are a jerk, I don't need to put up with it. And I might be an ass for calling people out on it, but it was their fault for putting me in that situation. And I've never had an issue with people calling me out on my faults. Golden rule - the ball is in their court.

[@lisahenry20]

I really don't like people saying "respect x" because people use it to mean different things. Sometimes people use it to mean being polite to someone (and treating them like a person) and sometimes they use it to mean obeying their every word. And sometimes (in my experience, often elders) will say "if you don't respect me, I won't respect you" and what they mean is "if you don't obey my every word, I won't treat you like a person". I'm fine with respecting my elders when meaning being polite to them, because I try to be polite to everyone But if someone isn't polite to me, I won't be as polite to them, whether they are my elders or not.

[@SilverAlaunt]

Ben: reads aloud the word “fucking” Also Ben: censors “prick” 😆

[@tatiannadiaz3383]

For the fake baby shower: I instantly thought that maybe she was having a hard time getting pregnant so they had this party to kinda keep spirits up? Idk though, sounds kinda aggressive to demand the present back from a COWORKER

[@aleathtuthranduriel]

But even if...why would you want the coworkers of your mum at this event? It's so personal already, if she were pregnant, but she's not and now her mum's coworkers are aware of her not having a baby/struggling with it. Isn't that also maybe feeding an illusion or at the very least highly pressuring yourself? Like, I don't have a kid yet, but now I have to because all the stuff is already there. No, I would not even demand it back, I would grab the gift and leave. As far as we know, the Rhonda's coworker and her daughter didn't even know each other prior to the event.

[@MLB021285]

If you have a hard time getting pregnant the last thing you will want is a party for a baby you might never have.

[@aleathtuthranduriel]

@@MLB021285 My thoughts exactly.

[@recoil53]

@@aleathtuthranduriel From what we were explicitly told, none of Rhonda's coworkers had ever met the daughter before the shower.

[@MiiKawaii]

Re: stealing food My husband has a colleague who once (yeaaars ago) stole his homemade sandwich. At least, that's what he thought but he couldn't prove it. Since he has camera's in and around the building and access to them, he decided to check the footage. Indeed, his coworker stole his sandwich and even threw the packaging away in a customer bin, knowing that he took a sandwich from another coworker. My husband was so mad, and can still talk about his stolen sandwich like it happened yesterday. In the end, he confronted his coworker who said that he didn't do it. When he told him he had camera footage, his coworker became speechless and said sorry (which ofcourse made him feel so good haha) Conclusion: Don't steal people's food hahaha!

[@nicolescholet691]

Did he go Red Ross?

[@MiiKawaii]

@@nicolescholet691 Omg yeah totally 😂

[@tryandsaycecili]

The artist post really had me second guessing myself but hearing them talk about it made me feel better about saying that legally the op is nta. If op has their contract in order and the artist just didn't read it thoroughly or with a lawyer I don't think it's on op. It's not a very good contract for an artist but now their practices are out there and they're getting the advice they need along with artists who sell their stuff like this also being advised

[@SaraJHudson]

It's not a very good contract for the artist but the artist was told everything and was asked if they were ok with it, the artist agreed, there's nothing else to say. The artist has no rights anymores.

[@Blankphotograph5799]

It sounds like a shitty learning moment for the artist. Yea they didn’t understand it but that’s not ops problem. They legally own the design now.

[@recoil53]

@@SaraJHudson The poster even said he was willing to pay a premium because of the ownership condition. Isn't that a pretty big hint to look at the contract and think about the implications? Though I agree with Cristine that it's classier to have a caption of note saying "designed by X".

[@sydneylittle9822]

I used to design for a custom fashion company. It’s a little different because the work I considered ‘my own’ was the drawing while the final piece was the garment. Even still, I did almost 99% of the design, but it was a collaborative place and I signed all pieces as “brand name” not my own name. I would use those designs in a portfolio to show other companies what I could offer but I would never use them to promote my own custom business down the line. I think the artist is out of line commenting to promote her own thing on the page. I think a finer line/more grey are would be to comment “these came out so well- loved working with you can’t wait to see what you do next” etc which implies she is involved without taking full responsibility which the business owner explicitly asked her to refrain from.

[@EleeceFace]

One thing to keep in mind with the story of the woman who threw a baby shower like party for her daughter that was not actually pregnant is that there are many people that struggle with infertility. I can understand having a party like that to try and cheer her up. I cannot begin to understand the kind of pain that revolves around that. That being said, everyone attending should have been well informed of the situation. and not only because some may not want to bring gifts or might even want to bring different kinds of gifts, but that is an incredibly delicate situation and when people don't know some incredibly insensitive things can be said or done without others being aware and just end up causing more pain. The entire situation sounds like there is information that is not being disclosed and whether it is malicious or not is not clear.

[@recoil53]

It sounded like a bait and switch. The mother had a registry of baby stuff as gifts for her daughter. Her co-workers were not given invitations but were verbally invited, yet the defense is that the physical invites explained the situation.

[@markantez8224]

After Ben mistakenly saying “she” constantly during the “roomates mom eats my food,” Simply finally firmly saying “HE, it’s a he” was a mood.

[@Amarianee]

Older freezers used to have locks. The horizontal "deep freezers" as well as standing freezer only units. My grandparents had both when I was growing up. The horizontal one was in the garage, but the tall freezer was in the kitchen next to the fridge, and it had the same kind of hex key the deep freezer did. They never locked either, but it was possible. Those things were from like the 70s or 80s too though. Dunno if more modern ones still have locking options.

[@nthn.47]

i love watching Cristine and Ben arguing over ice cream 😂 truly the highlight of my day

[@carriepritchard-witt5148]

Ben is right about the lunch, my husband better not get his lunch at another woman's house...cooking for your significant other is a way of showing love and care for them. I agree you can have any friends you want, but getting your lunch from an individual rather than a restaurant is too odd and off putting to me.

[@zubebi]

The fact that the no-baby baby shower also had a REGISTRY is so weird. Rhonda should have explained what was going on to the coworkers she invited. Clearly she gave them enough information for them to find the registry, so why not the whole story, especially if her daughter was going to be offended when they didn't know?

[@jillhakala]

As far as hearing that your partner was dating someone that you are now mutual friends with, it is *definitely* better to hear about it from your partner directly. Hopefully that couple makes the best decision for themselves.

[@ishabiswas8224]

They broke up again. Wedding's off

[@juliannaistyping]

I usually listen to these on my phone (using my desktop to listen this time) so I don't typically see the section titles. Having a "chapter" titled "Ben saw a child smoking" made me choke on my coffee because I snort-laughed. It has such dad energy, especially since he opened the story with "I'm leaving our lawyer's office...". I love these two lol. their podcast is one of the most comforting I've listened to. like it cheers me up enough to motivate me to get shit done but it's also really soothing. I also love the cat cameos and dad jokes (both from Ben and Cristine lmao).

[@ErwinAponia78]

These stories just remind me like .... the AUDACITY that some people have.

[@porcupine_cake]

I need a clip of cristine saying "it's taco Tuesday baby" in the style of white claw gabe, please and thanks

[@misspiece22]

When I was younger my one boyfriend's mom bought him dip (chewing tobacco) and he was only 15. I thought it was odd. Her defense was that he was going to find a way to get it on his own, so she'd rather just buy it so he wasn't getting into trouble by trying to find a way get it himself. It was so weird and enabling.

[@coleyoley420]

My mom was the same way. She bought mine and my brothers cigarettes. I was 14 and my brother was 13. I wasn't a trouble maker but my brother was so I see where she was coming from. For me I think it was a bonding thing. I grew up in a very abusive household. My father was a nasty human being. My mom took the brunt of it. She also started buying me alcohol when I was 15. She had caught me drinking because the people I was drinking with (seniors "the cool kids", lesson learned) dropped me in my house on my kitchen floor throwing up on myself. I got carried away like any 15 year old who doesn't know their limitations. So my mom said if I wanted to drink with my best friends they had to stay over and my mom would buy it but we had to promise no going out and no other people over. We agreed and that was that. Now I'm the mother and I have an 8 year old daughter and I can never see myself buying that for her. Smh..

[@misspiece22]

@@coleyoley420 Thanks for sharing. I am also a mom now. All we can do is try to provide for our children and do the best we can for them! Bless you and your family. ❤

[@KreeZafi]

I'm super weirded out by parents who enable harmful and/or illegal behaviors in their kids - maybe this is an extremist view but honestly I think people like that shouldn't be allowed to be parents

[@misspiece22]

@@KreeZafi I agree with this. They learn from the behavior we teach them.

[@coleyoley420]

@@misspiece22 thank you sweetheart 🌻 You as well. That's exactly what I plan to do. I will never do what they did.

[@Journey2FindKay]

I live for these podcasts each week!! Can’t wait for the new launch as I 👏🏾AM 👏🏾GOING 👏🏾INNNNN 👏🏾! You can add child locks to anything and if really wanting to you can lock a freezer by buying a lock kit. I work in mental health/substance abuse and at rehabs we always kept a lock on the freezer. For that person I can understand locking out family/kids from the food due to eating issues etc. I see nothing wrong with them locking it cuz I would be annoyed too this my house so nope locked

[@Clearwick]

I relate to Ben's child smoking story: I work at a grocery store as a "pick up" person and literally saw what looked to be a 6 year old smoking when I went out to bring somebody's groceries! I didn't say anything but he knew I saw him and hid his cigarette behind himself. Nobody believes me 🤷🤷🤷

[@Sika6061]

Yes! These things happen! One time when I was a cocktail waitress working in a microbrewery a man and his kid came in to the bar and sat at a table. The man ordered a 25 oz. beer, and then I watched him give it to his kid who chugged it down like he was a binge drinker in college. The kid was probably 5 years old. He was such a little guy! I was so shocked I just stood there watching it happen. Then I went over to the father (he was Australian), and told him that his kid is not allowed to drink alcohol in the US. No way is that legal to do in Australia though, right? People are crazy, and I wonder if that kid is an alcoholic now. I mean his poor brain is just starting to get developed. Horrible.

[@Sauti_science]

Ok, I also enjoy taking really long baths, (I watched this entire episode in the bath lol) but I always grab a towel and get out when my sister needs to use the toilet, or just draw the curtain if she needs to brush her teeth or something, so it's not that hard to get out if someone else needs to use it

[@lost-my-way]

Wedding at ex's home: In general I don't really see a problem in not telling a current partner if you used to date someone you're still friends with. Unless there's reason for concern. It is however a problem here the boyfriend wasn't told because of the odd circumstances. I don't personally care for marriage, but I would imagine it would be pretty uncomfortable as the spouse to find out last minute your wedding is being held at an ex's home. I would probably be upset, knowing it isn't just a friend's place you're using as a venue. There's a massive difference, from what we can see, on how these two couples communicate. The poster and his wife sound like they have a pretty healthy relationship in comparison to "Carla" and "Rick". I'm surprised the WIFE was okay with the idea of her husband's ex getting married on their property, and as Cristine said, potentially using THEIR BEDROOM to get ready in. "Carla" just sounds cheap more than anything for demanding she and her boyfriend still be allowed to use her ex's property. It isn't shared if "Carla" and "Rick" offered to accommodate the ex and his wife whatsoever. The fact that "Rick" only just barely found out the history poster and "Carla" have, and the supposed fact she still had feelings for her ex whilst dating "Rick", makes me think whoever told him maybe also thinks the two shouldn't get married. Maybe they saw red flags from this "Rick" guy, and knew he would have an aggressive negative reaction. If it was enough to have them take couples counseling, I think that really says a lot about their relationship. Also, the "friends" that are telling the poster he's being "petty", are not good friends to have it sounds like. If they can't see how strange and ridiculous and just straight up rude the whole situation is on him and his wife. If nothing else I hope this has the poster reevaluating his relationship with these people -- if they are friends worth having in his life anymore. Based off the limited info we're judging on, they all sound pretty toxic.

[@recoil53]

Rick sounds entitled and possessive. Yes on the red flags too. So the ex owes this to Rick because of what he did? WTF? How about all her other exes? And what's up with the friends who are saying the ex is being petty for not letting people use his house?

[@Sika6061]

Yep. Totally toxic situation. The OP needs to reassess who his friends are. You don't disinvite the people allowing you to hold a wedding on their property for free. That is just dumb diddy dumb dumb. It's their house. It's not their fault that Rick didn't know about the OP's history with Carla. That's something Carla should've told Rick, not the OP. Rick is really angry with Carla, but he's taking it out on the OP. The OP did nothing wrong. This couple needs to go to marriage counseling, learn how to communicate, reestablish trust and lay off the marriage until all that is done. Then they need to take the OP and his wife out on an expensive trip because this is not cool to do to your friends, and they need to make up for their douche-baggedness. Their other friends coming down on the OP are in the wrong too. I hope the OP gets a lot of apologies after this crazy behavior - or better friends.

[@chelseamcpherson1744]

My freezer has a lock, there is a key that it comes with….we lock it so the door doesn’t open by an accident

[@Ray_Vun]

i find it so weird couples who have been together for a long time have an issue sharing a bathroom. but also, seriously who tf needs to bathe for 4 hours? that dude needs therapy if he needs a bath that long to relax

[@sarahclark569]

I have friends who are married and have never even seen each other pee which I find weird but they intentionally bought a house with two bathrooms because of this! My husband and I only have 1 bathroom but we are fine sharing.

[@maryjanecompton8458]

I was always told baby showers were girls only which would explain why Ben has never been to one. I've personally never seen a man at a baby shower but it could be a cultural thing.

[@aleathtuthranduriel]

Where I am from, baby showers are not even a thing. You usually receive gifts, not by mandate, but mostly because others are happy for you, after the baby is born where some people have a party (which quite literally translates to piss party: because they all get pissed (drunk) there. Another thing I find super shit and stupid, but I digress), but yeah, my cousin has not revealed to her family that she's seven months pregnant and there won't be a party. Once the baby is there, shell get a parcel filled with goodies for the new parents and the baby. Because I am happy for them. But generally I do not see why other people should provide you with stuff for your kid.

[@sprigganpanda]

I've only ever been to a baby shower once but there were both men and women, probably depends on the person

[@hallwayoatmeal]

re: the uninvited wedding situation I have a weird theory😂 Maybe the fiancé has some strange territorial urge and wants to get married in the ex’s house to shove it in OP’s face that he “got the girl” in the end. Like some sort of jealous counteract. It would be crazy and petty but honestly the whole situation is so who knows lol