AMANDA DE CADENET: Keep Your Knickers On - Advice to My 14-Year-Old Self

See more celebrity interviews with Amanda de Cadenet: bit.ly/decadenet.
Amanda de Cadenet answers one of the questions she asks all of her celebrity guests on Lifetime's 'The Conversation:' What would you tell your 14-year-old self?
Her advice? "You do not need to give it away." See what she's talking about...

[@RegCoulter]

Well spoken Amanda. As a 70 yr old new grandfather, I’d like to be able to share some ‘wisdom’ with my granddaughter when she’s a little older, that will actually benefit her. Your advice has been wonderful, so thank you.

[@jomontanee]

Totally agree and so glad that you bring it up. Young girls around the world can learn from us women. We "been there, done that". They can save a lot of confusion, pain and disappointment.

[@Chris-s1i]

Why u not friends with Mark 😤‼️

[@andymeighan8160]

Shes aged really well. And fair play to her for her honesty.

[@adrianparker-e9f]

Is she saying that it ruined her life then ? What problems did it cause for her later ? When i was in my teens and right through my twenties, there wasn't the remotest chance of me getting intimate with a girl. I was invisible to them !

[@eldee1628]

@@adrianparker-e9f 12 years ago mate.

[@illegalsmirf]

@@adrianparker-e9f that cos u got no game, u will be a 40 year old virgin

[@DavidZ4-gg3dm]

This video is 12 y old.

[@illegalsmirf]

lol she an old crone today, must be at least 40 - 50 years old haha

[@BarryRudge]

As 78 yrs old granddad I totally agree with you

[@kevinharker1840]

You would say that.

[@zaynevanday142]

You wear knickers? 😂😂😂

[@stelsie]

Just don't be hard on yourself and continue forward. Regrets are part of life

[@TheMerlin672]

100% agree. Regret can last a lot longer than a poorly judged session.

[@RobertCater-pe2qj]

She still looks extremely well, and has grown a wise Head on her more mature shoulders, many don’t !

[@eldee1628]

12 years ago mate.

[@illegalsmirf]

she is like 50 today, old crone lol

[@BuckRogers2000]

I admire this contributor for her courage and logic. I acquiesce to 300,000 years of "Tribal Life". We're still the same animal we were then. Give ourselves a break. Amanda should give herself one, too. Thanks!!

[@sycamoreleaves74]

Love this. It does not make you feel better about yourself. In general, wait until you are at least over 18. You're not an adult yet. You think that you are but you're really not, not until you're at least 25. Is there an ideal time to start? Wait until you're over 18. Truly. It's an emotional roller coaster when it happens for the first time for anyone.

[@paulblack934]

How about waiting until you're married?

[@sycamoreleaves74]

@@paulblack934 I am almost 50 and have never been, probably won't at this point. So what's done is done.

[@smitajky]

I met my girl at 19 and married her just after my 22nd birthday. We have had more than 50 wonderful years together but I definitely can remember that emotional roller coaster. Strangely to others it wasn't sex that created such heady excitement. It was something so much more. Yet no easier to cope with. As you say, there is NO ideal time. I disagree with PaulBlack because too many marriages have been FOR sex. And that is a terrible reason to get married with quite severe consequences.

[@paulblack934]

@@smitajky Having sex before marriage just leads to so much trouble and heartache. There's a reason we were designed to only have sex within a marriage.

[@ribtickleooaaa]

@paulblack934 We were designed to only have sex within marriage ? lol, sorry mate I have to break it to you we are just animals with big brains that as well as allowing us to be super creative also sadly allow us to do terrible things and stupid things. There was no designer with special instructions just for us humans

[@vicarpaul7005]

Thank for your honesty

[@ianarn]

I’d say about a third of the girls in my comprehensive school year had lost their virginity by 14 and to a legal age man 18 plus in most cases. The girls were in charge of a lot of the bullying and it was not uncommon for one of their “men” to beat up a child pupil also. This was during the 80s where many things were gotten away with that wouldn’t be now. All of the girls could not deal with relationships that a 22 year old woman could on an emotional level even though their body was mature enough. Possibly in old school religious marriage with a lot of security and support they might be but this was not what those girls were experiencing. They’ve made divorce and family trauma much more likely in their futures as a result. In many cases (you cannot blame the child really) their parents were to blame as a 20 year old man is often not very much more mature mentally (if at all) than a 14 year old boy yet they projected onto him that he would be. The girls would have been better off with a snog at the end of the cinema with a boy in her year than getting into the types of situations they were in such as pubs and dinners etc. Obviously with a man of that age the pressure for sex will be greater than with a 14 year old boy yet the parents were too deluded to see it that way and the girls could pull the wool over their eyes too easily. The school was there just to prepare the girls for the workplace and not for men as would be the case in traditional society so they were not equipped to deal with it at all.

[@dwaynemcallister7231]

Wow, that seems a little crazy. I didn't see a lot of that, but I recall when I was 13 my friends 15 year old sister was dating a guy who drove a beautiful yellow '70 Dodge Challenger convertible and he must have been over 18 for sure and people did gossip about it but nobody went to jail.

[@ianlloyd6812]

Good on you for sharing this! Girls are more likely to heed a message from you, rather than parents or authority figures. You have been there, you have credibility. Well done!

[@adrianparker-e9f]

If that was wrong, what is right ? where do you draw the line ? Only have sex when you're married ? Only for the purpose of producing children ?

[@adrianparker-e9f]

Someone else could also tell her that you're not ready at 16, 18, 30 or 40 ! or that you should only have a sexual relationship in marriage or only for the purpose of having children. If i went back in time and told my 14 year old self that i would go through my teens and twenties into my thirties without even kissing a girl ! i don't know what i'd have thought !

[@Duncan_1971]

I grew up in a very small village in Staffordshire. Everybody knew everything that everybody else did. Most of the girls lost it at 14. Most of us guys lost it at 17. I was always slightly depressed at how keen they (and we) were to throw away their childhood and for what? Hold on to your virginity for as long as you can. A good childhood makes you a richer person. you'll always come back to those roots so make them good roots.

[@oldchiefsmoke820]

i've heard of your village, famous for all the inbreds

[@garyanthony5292]

If only one girl takes note of this video Amanda it's good solid common sense advice, I hope more than one sees and hears it. Teenage years are not as easy to navigate through as we first surmise, I spent the first part of mine in a children's home with a lot of problem kids!

[@patodwyer721]

Nice one Amanda We're all human, we all get it wrong Hopefully some young girls who see this video will think twice and take your advice God Bless you and everyone who reads this ✝️💕

[@dallassukerkin6878]

I remember when you were on The Word and were in the media spotlight and then you seemed to walk away from it all. I am glad to see that you are actually doing well (noting that this vid was from a while ago!) and also to say how splendidly you have aged, given that you are only ten years younger than me :D

[@Toqueville2023]

Thank you for your honestly and rational self evaluation. It's much needed and your efforts here are absolutlely not wasted. The Lord can , in an amazing way , restore the years which the locusts have pillaged.

[@michaelwelsh7362]

Great advice and appreciated if only a few people listen as well as they hear as the song says. What children should be taught whether by adults in their families or teachers in a classroom is we are first of all animals, specifically mammals and we be have very mammally, and when it comes to mating all mammals have very distinct behavior patterns and there is a time and place when those should take place and everyone needs to know that.

[@richardmurphy9006]

Looking great Amanda hope all is well now 🙏

[@alvelasco3393]

Way to give this advice to younger people. I’ve never regretted abstaining until it was right

[@johnbarr7799]

Many reasons for acting grown up, wanting to fit in , not thinking you are attractive, or liked , home life not good, acting out of frustration, poor parenting,not being loved, could go on for ever , in truth it’s really about being content with who you are and where you are, which is not easy when you are a teenager, female or male , it’s getting through that time in one piece, hopefully mentally together and at peace with your self and life in general.

[@lizzieball3795]

Same for me. I would tell my 14 yr old self,to lay low,don't argue with anyone in my family,and leave the moment I turned 18. I had sex w multiple people when i was 14, because there was and is something wrong we emotionally and intellectually where I trust untrustworthy people and am taken advantage of,sometimes repeatedly. During my adulthood, it's majorly impacted my finances and security. I became aware of this defect in my judgement abilities a few years ago,I'm now 53, but I continue to act/react from a gullible/naive vantage point which continues to negatively impact my life.

[@unclepete100]

Do you have friends you can talk to open and honestly?

[@Iazzaboyce]

You are a very attractive woman, so as a teen would have been inundated with admirers telling/giving you anything just to get what they wanted from you. In the 1980s there was no protection against this for you, because 'grown up' society was pushing the _'sex is love and love cannot be bad - right?'_ mantra. Experience and knowledge has caused you to know those 'grown ups' were/are not grown up..

[@anitasseo]

Is that a trailer!? A tiny studio? Love it!

[@slaveoth5114]

Can't believe she's nearly 60 !

[@tucker2074]

If i could give people advice i would say don't be too hard on yourself, as far as we know this is just a one off experience, don't look back on your younger self and be embarrassed, that was you in the moment enjoying or not enjoying your experience as a young person and making a decision, if you like music search a song called "Sunscreen class of 99"

[@andrewweatherhead4127]

Well said.😊

[@fredrikbergquist5734]

Often pressure from other girls the same age ”being the first to have done it”. Did you have a good relation to your father? Often fighting to get love and not getting it is the major reason for adult problems.

[@Commanderphil]

Great post

[@purethccheck]

Can you please make a compilation of "What to tell your 14 year old self"? My 13 year old going on 14 sister is having a hard go of it. I really love The Conversation, but I think some of it is too much for her. I would love to share these parts, although. Thank you, kindly!

[@patricksmith4424]

I think people forget what it used to be like in the 70s 80s. I know at the comprehensive I went to in the early 80s, there seemed to be peer pressure for girls of 14 to have boyfriends and sex at 14. Not only that but the older the boy the better. I remember 14 year old girls bragging about their 27 year old boyfriends. That's why I think all this mania about historic underage relations doesn't take this into account. Remember if the past is deemed wrong you can't punish people for living through that time. For example if a woman now can to the cops and say that a man she had relations with caused her psychological damage then Technically the cops could hunt down the now much older man and charge him, because technically at the time it was illegal also. But at the time that law was ignored by everyone, and the guys in question knew no difference. Of course now any underage sex is totally frowned upon.

[@haighton]

"why did you do it at that age?"

[@evad7933]

Yep, the day after a gal's 18th bday she has newfound wisdom.:) Btw, it was extremely common for women to marry in their late teens and early 20s, 50 years ago. If one wasn't married by 25 it was reckoned there had to be something amiss with one ...mental illness or extreme ugliness etc.

[@eriklarsson3188]

Nothings changed. It still holds true today. Save for one thing, women used to get married in their _early_ 'teens' to mid 'teens'. As well as become mothers. Today it's way too late for most of them and sometimes at grandma age. Not good at all.

[@andyb150]

John Taylor you bad boy....

[@nigelburgin8396]

What age would he have been, 25? 😮

[@lesblakeman]

Advice to all young women , do what you want to do , but be prepared , FFS just don't get pregnant , you're life will be OVER

[@joshswan06]

Hope you’re living happily now.

[@Engineer1980]

Great advice.

[@treefarm3288]

I was a 16 y.o. boy when I was forced by a 26 y.o. woman. I didn't have sex again for 4 years. I was comfortable with girls but couldn't get that close. I believe there was a result, too. Thanks for the video.

[@js2749]

We’re all different Amanda

[@dwaynemcallister7231]

As advice to my daughter if I had one, (have a son). I would say the same as you Amanda but when I was a teen my friends were having sex and I was not they seemed happy and well adjusted, maybe each case is different. For me I waited till about age 20 and I think for my situation and emotional maturity that was the right thing to do

[@davidadamson3664]

Are you sitting in an Airstream?

[@andrewmcnaught9411]

Bit late to be telling yourself to keep your knickers on once their off for the first time having sex there isn’t a reverse button to undo the deed the legality of the situation didn’t occur to you when you decided to go ‘all the way’ and the regret arrives so much later when it’s irreversible and that’s a very common complicated set of circumstances that has inevitably followed you into adulthood sadly.😢

[@adrianparker-e9f]

Having said that, there is no guarantee that you will be alive the next day.

[@user-or9cj3vk6t]

As a chaste, celibate , single, born again Christian I wholeheartedly endorse this message. Wait until you are born again and meet another borna again Christian who you want to marry. Mrry in the eyes of God and not in the eyes of the state.

[@ninamasfina]

You sure are the best!!" Thank You

[@unkle_Enkil]

In this instance having a rich father didn't help the situation. Nightclubs, cocain addiction, in the newspapers every other day, next to no clothes on. Mixing in celebrity circles didn't help this 'it'' girl at all. But i am glad she survived and thrived. Viva la wild child.

[@adrianparker-e9f]

If what she did was bad for her, how did things go wrong ? How would her life have been better ?

[@unkle_Enkil]

@@adrianparker-e9f : growing up in the '80s, watching and reading about her antics in the press you could see she was heading for a fall. Tara palmer Tompkins was another it girl. Your question is one of lifes what ifs? Who can say. She certainly feels regret about her early years . She's come through the other side happy and healthy. So I suppose it was just part of her journey.

[@cervelo9465]

I would not tend to agree. Teenagers have always had physical relations and they always will. Older women always come out and say things like this, just like older women say they regret doing nude modelling etc.

[@adrianparker-e9f]

Yes, i agree with that observation ! The advice she's giving herself was around then, what makes her think she would take any more notice if it was herself giving the advice ? ( if i went back to my 14 year old self i would tell them that 'if you carry on as you are, you won't even get to kiss a girl for another 20 years, never mind having a girlfriend or having an intimate relationship with a girl !)

[@Jazzhop101]

That should be the message in schools, not encouraging them to wear tiny skirts in the UK! Which is an actual thing believe it or not!!!

[@JohnRadford-iy7db]

Very true wait till older.

[@RockPaperBeautiful]

I'm sure Mandy Smith, who dated Bill Wyman when she was 13 could relate. I wonder if Mandy and Amanda ever sat down for drinks?

[@richardkent2200]

Good point but point is different for men who doubt their manhood

[@expressoevangelism80]

But would you have listened?

[@40s_fit_and_fab30]

Well said . I remember years ago in the word .. look at you now ❤

[@Headspace101]

Love your honesty ❤

[@quaranteatime5472]

Ah! She said it!

[@notreallydavid]

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. I think Barney the Dinosaur said that.

[@tedbearfudge]

Just seen this video, it may have been good advice but a 14 year old Amanda would probably have told you to F off. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and most people have regrets about things they have done in the past. At 14 all I wanted to do was play football although girls did come later in life. It does take courage to admit that you were wrong though.

[@cervelo9465]

Case in point, were you sleeping with someone your own age or were you sleeping with a man. The former is normal, the latter is viewed as a criminal offence. Also, if you were that age again, you would do exactly the same things again, go around sleeping with men.

[@adrianparker-e9f]

It would still be an offence by the male regardless of his age.

[@benjones4365]

In the UK it is an offence if you are under 16, but Girls will almost never be prosecuted.

[@tinkertailor7385]

Yep.

[@andrewnelson3681]

You’ve survived. Many don’t. ❤

[@jutjet4011]

Men never liked me ,so I didnt need to worry 😂

[@NessaK1981]

I totally agree about waiting to have sex until you are both physically and emotionally able to both handle it AND enjoy it, BUT I believe in self-discovery and always have. By that I mean masturbation. I believe if you're young and having your first sexual feelings, go on a journey of discovery for several years just with yourself. That is what I did. I had my first orgasm at 16, and by the time I was in my 1st sexual relationship at 19, I knew exactly what I wanted.

[@terrybrowning-i1y]

.and contrary to some people. mastrabution will not make hair grow on your palms, i am so glad that we are more enlightened now than when i was a teenager.

[@andyb150]

I totally agree. Coffee Nessa? 😉

[@anth5122]

That’s life

[@andybennett1133]

Do u live in a caravan..?

[@zaynevanday142]

Hindsight is 20/20 😂

[@machiavellian7490]

Who is she? Did she do a chocolate 🍫 advert?

[@bluepicis]

So nice,!!

[@hywel4605]

Is she on a boat?

[@PaulDouglas-i5m]

Looks like a Barge / Houseboat.......

[@downtoearth1950]

At 14 you would not have believed yourself

[@dominus1204]

her 14 year old self wouldn't have listened ... because plenty of people would have advised her about waiting to have sex and she didnt listen to them either

[@mikewilliams6086]

Its such a confusing time for young men and women. Navigating High school as a young guy was a bit of a night mare really.

[@sophiemwoodward]

Love her

[@superdavies5548]

Very few make it off the carousel unscathed.

[@shogun666able]

All very right, I DJ big events and looking down on stage you wonder why young girls turn out nearly naked yet to young for them to understand sex is part of a relationship not a relationship with a good ending mentally or physically much of the time and certainly much of the time any form of love or respect. Female needs are a different story with no need to follow fashion where their friends have so they should.

[@righttoexplain]

The age of consent is too low. Should be at least 21, probably even 28 because men don’t mature until around 28.

[@HangingAround1977]

Some born to certain beliefs have no choice in the matter and well before 14.

[@kottonkandyx]

her accent is werid

[@kaiwancallender2761]

Hello hello hello hello

[@joemorris2886]

Hooooo

[@paulgibbons2320]

You were being raped and exploited. You were not 'having relationships' . People who are more mature than you were taking advantage of your youth. That is difficult for anyone to process.That should not be happening in our society. Adults in your life should have protected you from this. You must feel very let down.

[@davidc4408]

I was 17 then no sex until 24. Then 26 to 30 crazy amounts of sex.

[@smitajky]

You can't put an old head on young shoulders. You would have been given the same advice at the same age and then ignored it. It isn't bad advice but how can a teenager suddenly flushed with hormones and lust believe it? They don't. And generation after generation they make the same mistakes. Words alone can't change this. "Oh but things are different these days" or similar excuses. A real shame.

[@paulvr3158]

Early Ripe Early Rotten Vroeg ryp vroeg vrot

[@jM-ez7fq]

What age is she now

[@unkle_Enkil]

50's.

[@Michael-ns1ey]

You have an American accent now? 🙁

[@jamesdean1143]

She’s picked up an American accent.

[@chief3839]

14????? That’s old in today’s standards!!!!!!

[@fffff2521]

Wait till the marriage.

[@markhattley2032]

Dog

[@jamesadcock5235]

Sex isnt so exciting when older that's the problem

[@adrianparker-e9f]

I think i've aged in reverse ! In my teen and twenties, boring, reserved, inactive, invisible to girls. No wonder i didn't attract any attention ! I can't even recall the nearest i came to being intimate with a girl. I changed my outlook and started doing things differently in my thirties, so that was good.

[@arnaudfauchere1769]

😍Très belle femme 😍, 🏁👍et un fantastique père coureur automobile, dont j'appris le triste décès, à 6 heures du matin, au Mans Classic 2022.👍🏁

[@Andrew-m5p4s]

No one cares

[@xrtiagorxzum2051]

hunm

[@johnrobinson8340]

Clearly like the rest of us, a lesson learnt the hard way.

[@shrimpeyes4662]

Easy to say now that you have been destroyed mentally by all the narcisists you have shared your bed with. Don't listen to anything women say they don't mean it, leave them and if you want to keep them abuse them.

[@jM-ez7fq]

Jesus she looks well 😍

[@wind.del.change]

horse. stable. door. bolted.

[@soeffingwhat]

Her accent's all over the place, one second american, one second english lol. My accent is important, I wouldn't let that happen lol

[@johnbell1859]

You Go girl. 🩷. 🇬🇧