An Offer Your Ex Cant Refuse

An offer your ex can't refuse. How can I make my ex want me back? How can I make my ex want me again? How can you make your ex an offer they can't refuse? By becoming or being their best option.
Get Craig's help personally: www.askcraig.net/take-action/
Get Margaret's help: www.askcraig.net/margaret-1/
Craig's workbook series: www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/
Get Started on the Creative Healing Course: courses.askcraig.net/

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

I had 4 people yesterday how do I do the work? I said, have you started the workbooks? Uh, no I didn’t know what they are... Ugh... Guys the workbooks are amazing and will keep you on point! You'll thank me later!

[@thtboirich_]

Buy the workbook set! Incredible value and you’ll love the time you spend with them!

[@taylorscombover3281]

Coach Craig Kenneth They totally helped me focus my thoughts and untangle the problem that feels too big to tackle.

[@uwalker07]

Coach Craig Kenneth how much are your personal sessions? I need your help.

[@nephilimhatred5566]

sir plsss help my ex girlfriend broke up to me a month ago and now she has a new boyfriend but my ex gf keeps on calling me and messaging me telling she still loves me but when her boyfriend found out that she said that to me she's denying it now.

[@darring.9161]

@@nephilimhatred5566 She's playing you for attention. Get rid of her! If she still loved you...she'd have never left in the first place!

[@SUS-550]

No contact might be slowly killing you, but EVERYDAY IS A STEP TOWARDS PROGRESS.

[@ActiveTrader31]

iNdOSmOkEz707 this gave me motivation I was feeling down but this comment made me feel better

[@felalomas94]

Are you with ex now??

[@lovemrj4ever]

iNdOSmOkEz707 Wow, thank you so much for this simple but powerful reminder. I needed to hear this!

[@Howtocreatewinningfocalsbeads]

9 days no contact. Almost 4 weeks broken up. Doing well.

[@skyus1Mache]

Tony DiDonato did you go back wit your ex?

[@noneya703]

Anxiety causes us to be self absorbed and manipulative. Wow, I have never thought of that.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Very few have 😉

[@georgehathaway8631]

From this video alone I've noticed that I've made a lot of mistakes in my last relationship and I've realised that I do need to work on myself. I want her back and I know it's a long road and if she dates someone else it wont worry me because when I'm the best version of myself, I'll be better than anyone else!

[@flat4wankel]

Update

[@theawesomeme22]

Safe base: Sensitive and responsive partner who meets your needs and first person for comfort. 1. Be there daily basis and trust you to do the same. 2. Get to know you very well, where you strong, overwhelmed, sad, angry 3. Lights in your strength, Never put you down, happy for your success even if I'm not. 4. Encourage to try new things or if you change your mind 5. Check in weekly for how things going for you 6. Iisten to anything. I can't promise to not get mad, but I'll not yell or withdraw from you 7. Not play head games or manipulate 8. Maintain all these stuffs constantly

[@adrianaxcx777]

It has already been 1 month of my breakup and everyday is torture I feel like he is my addiction that I wake up thinking of him and then I go to sleep thinking of him. :( also doing no contact really does hurt it really hurts so much because we used to talk every single day before all this but I do realize that during this time I have to work on myself whether I like it or not I know I have to do that. And I remember somebody saying I think it was one in one of these videos that the same thing that will help you get him back will be the same thing that will help you get over him. I pray for that to be true and sending love and positive thoughts to all the broken hearts out there. Never give up.

[@aronjohn84]

Im with you.me and my wife are separated. It sucks. Our no contact is hard because of the kids. But yeah...thinking of them every min every day

[@adrianaxcx777]

Life update: my ex FINALLY did contact me on New Year's Eve like at exactly 11pm lol I did not expect that at all. Honestly I feel really over him at this point but I still have so much love and would love to be with him again. But I do know reality for us is we cannot be together at this time. (I'm in California, he's in New York) but you guys...I was sooooooooo excited that it even happened and to his his name pop up in my phone sent my heart racing into triple time lol we just had a nice small conversation. Nothing deep and nothing negative. I just don't have any expectations and I am loving the journey of working on myself more and just figuring things out each day. I'm pretty sure this was his indirect direct move in a sense since it was about to be New Years day...and for him 2019 happened since he's in NY.. he started bringing up random things like asking about my friends lol (my best friend and her husband were someone my ex and I would double date with a lot) so we talked for a bit and yah.... that's it. Don't ever give up! Just continue to work on yourself and honestly one thing i learned from all this is.... letting things go feels so much better then holding on tightly. 💖

[@felalomas94]

@@adrianaxcx777 Hello Adriana, I'm crying reading your comment because I'm still feeling like you were feeling at first (my bf left me 2 months ago) everyday it's a torture and I feel like everyday it's worst. You have give me a lot of hope. I would like to contact you if you're ok with that. I would like to talk with you about how to be better during no contact and that stuff. Sorry if my english it's not perfect but it isn't my first language.

[@xHappzx]

@@adrianaxcx777 how are things now... your comment about Nye brought up the time when my ex and I first met, and that was a magical time for me. I miss him every day and I wish he would reach out to me.

[@adrianaxcx777]

@@felalomas94 oh my goodness Fela!!! Yesss you can reach me on Instagram: chica777xcx I wish I had seen your comment sooner. You can message me anytime even if things are great or not so great i would love to offer any advice i can. :) i didnt havnt my youtube notifications on and today it started notifying me of replies to this comment.

[@chrisj5816]

When she read the list of all the traits of how you should think about you significant other it’s exactly how i felt about my ex i gave her all that i could and i just wanted the best for her always unconditionally.. but it just wasn’t the same for her. it’s truly heartbreaking but i guess you can’t force someone to be what they’re not

[@herbertsimemeza4935]

Just like me bro i gave it my all in my relationship

[@kassidykilborn5815]

Feel the same. I made sure he knew he was supported in anything he wanted to do and gave him everything he wanted. Guess some just can’t see it until it’s too late.

[@bigmax5780]

Damn give it to me

[@stiliqn007]

and a year later?

[@solodad001]

@@herbertsimemeza4935 I gave my all to a woman I've known for over 20 years. She's picked several POS men through the years, by the time we hook up, she is messed up and no longer able to give her heart. She only takes. I feel bad for her kids.

[@puebo1472]

One of the best KZbin videos I've seen in my life.

[@konasrider]

Fck... How many people discover these vids when its too late..

[@tbsdrummer87]

All of your videos are rich in material but this one is incredibly rich and should be saved in everyone’s playlists and listened to over and over again

[@sepehr_moghani]

This was very eye opening. I made her feel bad about herself or her decisions and I forced her to behave the way I thought it was suitable. Worse part is I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I’m helping her improve and be better. Maybe I did help her but the way I forced her and pushed her and put pressure on her, definitely made me unattractive and she lost interest. I just hope she’ll see in her heart to reconcile so I can treat her the way she truely deserves.

[@dwightschrute8141]

Update?

[@zero390]

This is what I strive to be, but you both verbalized everything and some more to it. Thank you.

[@chooseboost]

Great session with so much info in it. I think it took me almost an hour to truly understand what you were both explaining. Thank you 🙏

[@skye3714]

You two are great! The intro made me laugh which was much needed. I really appreciated this video and found it very helpful. Keep up the good work 👍

[@nono-zb8px]

This is great for every relationship! Thank you so much to both of you.

[@northerncaliking1772]

My ex is a drug counselor that saw something in me and I worked hard for three years to become an engineer. I was romantic and compassionate and in the end she was so mean. I am falling out of love. I'm feeling it fade. She was avoidant and would never and I mean never would talk anything out. She was mean when I got covid. I dodged a bullet. She was so mean.

[@Designbluejv]

Oh man! I’m so grateful for your channel! You’ve set inside me your teachings deeper than I didn’t even know of myself. #thisissodeep

[@meeraraj0]

Thank you this is a good list that's deeper than usual

[@ShadrockMarciano]

Incredible video! I will refer back to this one many times! Thank you!

[@ThePolaris87]

Sigh. My Avoidant Ex offered almost none of these items to me and our relationship, while I offered most of these items to them. Even just having a conversation about these items that make up a secure base would cause them to shut down and even dissociate 🙄😔

[@danielrdesjardins1117]

I find your program very interesting and full of great information

[@irineoromero2347]

This is my favorite video so far!!

[@Danash2013]

Craig you're my coach brah!

[@atinapsd]

Margaret is such a mood

[@GD20254]

I love you guys! And the Godfather schtick was awesome

[@marcellamzam]

You are both the best!! Thank you!

[@jamesjk1234]

Just wanted to come back and drop a comment -- I really love this channel and yalls work. I'm back to this video because I have it saved, and was passing it to a friend who's going through some challenges. People need to know that this offer is really the expectation you should set for yourself. It isn't solely stuck to applying towards your ex. Really apply it to your outlook on your next romantic relationship. Your whole spirit will undergo a metamorphosis when you round this corner. Thanks Craig and Miss Margaret. Sorry I couldn't afford your services before, but I listened to every video like 30 times (lots of commuting). I rounded the corner and came out so much better. Thank you

[@ZimSmacks]

Thanks for this powerful video! I have an anxious attachment style and I can see now how my attempts to make things 'perfect' for 5 years with my man could be construed as being manipulative ... I was terrified of being abandoned and eventually it happened. It was a "slow fade" - physical intimacy gradually disappeared, then emotional intimacy, and finally communication broke down almost completely. I am in 'no contact' at the moment (2 weeks in) and almost every day he has messaged or called for some random reason (direct/indirect approach) - I've responded but haven't been over-zealous. The whole situation is driving me crazy though - I so badly want things to go back to how they were at the beginning. I'm trying to heal and work on myself, but so anxious that I'm going to be permanently in the 'friendzone' :-(

[@xHappzx]

Dont let yourself be in the friend zone. Make it clear what you want, and if it isnt friendship and that's what he is offering, stop communication.

[@reeceomufchorgan4684]

My ex broke up with 2 months finding very hard .. I am working on myself trying be a better person it’s not easy .

[@dakotacole3713]

Updates?

[@angelinelincoln1523]

This is an amazing video!

[@jayfeezy9715]

Bro this was so Deep everything y'all said relates to why I lost my girlfriend a month ago. This video is so touching. I've been doing everything I can to get my ex back I've bought flowers , Begged , pleaded...Etc but yet have I worked on myself in the areas she's called me out in. She's told me numerous of times she don't tell me certain Stuff because I get upset and I always sum how end up finding out another way. Then that just leads to a fight between us. After watching this video ima write this on paper translate it to my situation and I'll give it to her to read. Nice video Now I know what areas I need to fix I have to be her Secure Base

[@jayfeezy9715]

Meph # good we been back together for a year now

[@user-wh5qm1lo9l]

@@jayfeezy9715thanks for coming back with an update. We don’t always get to see those.

[@williamklimek9676]

love the Carousel reference, "when you walk through a storm hold your held up high …. (et al)"

[@chrisreimer8111]

Your videos are amazing I enjoy watching as many as I can. It’s been about 2 months since my ex broke up with me, and I’m really trying to not think about her. She got into a new relationship 3 weeks after we broke up so it’s a little bit trying for me. I feel it’s almost artificial though because I know if she didn’t she me for a few days she would have separation aniexty, so I feel as though she can’t be alone in life and needs that void filled. It’s been especially tough for me because we’re going through this pandemic and meeting new people is hard. Thank you for all your insight and wisdom from both of you!

[@dwightschrute8141]

Update?

[@shelly4012]

For secure attachment people this might work but when you offer this to an avoidant, they run for the hills.

[@kyliespeers5785]

Great information love Margaret thank you 😊

[@kaylabrown7045]

This so beautiful video...❤️

[@SIRA063]

god bless you Margaret

[@masoben]

I love couch Margaret.

[@ponokunishima1]

That’s one of the things I should have worked on more. When my ex would tell me to do change and not to do this and that, I would not always listen, just say ok, but the next day, would slowly go back to doing the same thing. She really had heart to put up with me all 5 years, until 3 weeks ago. I myself, don’t really just stop and think about how to deal

[@deepjot6376]

Oh my god ...i am so in love withhhhh Margaret 😭❤️😘

[@jeansenior5242]

Excellent video.

[@meeraraj0]

This is GOOD!!!

[@angelagottlieb8122]

This is beautiful 😭❤️💕 great advice

[@thetransparentjerseygirl]

Great video!!!!❤

[@meeraraj0]

I will not ask you anxiety based Questions demanding to know where u were in crazy manner- 😅 I will write this out 200 times

[@gilberttorres8]

Hi Graig, I was wondering if you think that Anxious attachment style VS Ambivalent attachment style. I feel like mine fits more of the Ambivalent style as I always want my EX but then a few hrs later or a day later I feel like I never wanna see her again. This pattern fits the Ambivalence of me. Mixed feelings. Can you explain if that's correct Thank you

[@Korek3217]

Craig, what if my ex doesn't have a horse? (I expect at least few thumbs up, because that joke is awesome)

[@epicbehavior]

Damn, I don’t even think she has that many great qualities. Yet she broke up with me, and I want her back. Wtf.

[@noneyabusiness9931]

We want things we can't have

[@lsummer7702]

💔🥺

[@seankennedy9662]

Same!!! Sex was amazing and we had a lot of fun. But outside the bedroom she couldn’t open up, was like talking to a wall. Then she dumped me out of the blue and I have no clue why because she would never talk about what was bothering her. Classic fearful avoidant.... but I still want her back lol

[@seankennedy9662]

@Katherine Deen oh wow! We never fought ever. She moved out of town for a short time to be with family and a month and ended it over text one day. Completely blindsided me. I wish I didn’t want her because I know how bad she is for me. We’re both avoidants, but somehow I became anxious preoccupied during our relationship and stopped thinking rationally. I’m pretty sure I smothered her as I’m used to dating anxious and reassuring them with several texts a day. Lessons learned. If we get back together I feel like I can return back to how I normally am at least. This breakup taught me about attachment styles

[@dreib5129]

7 out of 8. I cant do these things constantly because she left me. She is very anxious and a lot of things, she needs to heal. I have to stay silent now and let her go. I am focusing on myself. Trusting us if we will gravitate back to each other. I pray she heals, that is more important to me, and if she really loves me then she knows where to find me. For now, I have much to do and you my darling even more. I'll see you in a couple of years, be safe my love. 🙂🙏💞

[@dakotacole3713]

Update?

[@ponokunishima1]

Really deal with the situation. I would forget the next day and get mad at her for little things and sometimes some of it wasn’t her fault.

[@Thecairopractors]

You have to trust the process of no contact, everyday it gets easier. I’m talking from personal experience... it works

[@jamesjk1234]

Craig, Margaret I'm back to watch this video for probably the 100th time. And no, I'm not watching it with intentions of my ex. I recently began talking to a woman who has me totally enraptured. She is amazing. We have a date tomorrow, and I'm giddy like a school boy. No, I'm not planning on telling her all the wonderful things in this video specifically, but instead, I'm watching it again to ground myself. Almost like a reminder of what I have been working towards. From all the knowledge I gained in your videos, I know my worth, I know how to recognize my anxiety, I know what a secure partner looks like, and I have a rebuilt confidence. I did slip for a time. Fell off the horse of self improvement for a few weeks (Valentine's wrecked me tbh) but I'm back on it. Back to the routine and not feeling sorry for myself all the time. Thank you both. Although I never could afford a session, I still feel like you've spoken to me personally.

[@suryaananda8362]

Great video. Just makes me feel worse now she’s an ex tho. :(

[@dy395]

Hey coach, can you do a video about multiple break ups in a longterm relationship "4 years for me" and how to solve the problems that seem so minor but keep causing the relationship to fail! Thanks

[@heatherhappy2799]

I need a video on this also. Been off and on for 6 years.

[@Prestigemaster22]

Same February 28th will have been 7 years and right now we are struggling again and she actually moved out of the house and broke the engagement but still texts me. We've been through worse but idk then issue this time.

[@noneyabusiness9931]

Do you really want to be with someone like that?

[@richardmartinez2973]

@@noneyabusiness9931 Yes, for some reason all of us have someone like that. Probably everyone is like that. That why want them back they know us and deal with our shit. Maybe it just me but if you from hood, most likely had dysfunctional family. So if that your man or lady, why not make best of it you can, and just love each other. Just my 2 cents

[@nicolewelage4190]

For me, it's been a 10 yr long relationship, with 1 child who is 9. We have had 3 major breakups and I would like a video on this as well. I'm invested and don't know how I will ever get over the pattern that happens but even worse, over him. Just devestated. I can't sleep or eat and am stressed out. I try to do no contact but when he initiates contact it starts out about our son. And of course carries over to an argument bc my ex displays indifference all the time. I should consider writing an email to Craig about my specific situation. How much would it cost for a 1 on 1 session and what does it entail exactly?

[@Jasmine-ob5lx]

I wish these were our vows. Maybe our marriage would be different?😔

[@Frost-Tech]

I'm pretty sure I just got my ex back, but I'm still living alone, I gotta wait and see what happens.

[@tyeicha]

Nick Vetitoe what did you do to get your ex back?

[@dudelol4527]

Nick Vetitoe that’s awesome to hear ur making progress I hope everything went well keep us updated

[@moscopol8231]

Any updates fellow friend?

[@karissakarma2997]

One thing he said at the end of our relationship ‘I didn’t tell you cuz I knew you’d be mad’ He reached out after 6 months of NC and we are texting. He said he regrets the breakup but communication is slow. Should I say this now? I can’t promise I won’t be mad but I won’t yell at you?

[@ivychen7242]

I am going to be the safe base for him I promise

[@punish0]

When you are supposed to say such things? After she breaks no contact, or after few meet ups?

[@angeliakoller5627]

I was loving, caring, nurturing and giving to him and I don’t feel like it did me any good at all. I was there for him in so many ways and now I feel like he doesn’t know I exist and I don’t even know what is going on or what I even did to deserve for him to stop communicating with me. I sent him a couple of messages to let him know I felt he was slapping me in the face and I didn’t deserve any of it and at the end of the text, I told him I was done being hurt or angry because I’m worth more than that and I haven’t tried to make contact since and he knows I’m not going to beg, blow up his phone or anything and I haven’t heard anything from him in over a week and prior to that it was few days before he texted me so if I was already that person to him, now what?

[@gabbymontoya2085]

Same here this was me..in the end he called me HOSTILE because I stood up for myself.. These are avoidants..they dont like it amd afraid of you.

[@reginalddillard9805]

I let my emotions cause the breakup by texting bad timing on my part. She later said she needs to work through her thoughts and hopes that I'm ok with that But this no contact is torture!! But your videos has really helped big time.

[@darius5951]

Reginald Dillard no contact is torture, but if you reach out and they don't respond or they respond negatively the torture will feel worse...trust me I've learned the hard way. Stay in no contact.

[@reginalddillard9805]

Darius Taylor I think it could be the game of who will give in first too.

[@missmelissalee1858]

I need a coach!

[@bascal133]

I love this, the offer is just being an amazing partner lol

[@jh6495]

How do I fully show my ex I have made changes if she’s moved on with another guy and I’m in an altered no contact period (I watch her kid on occasion)

[@Demi.d3mi]

I was willing to do these and offer these, i did for a long time. But he couldn't and broke up with me, i miss him and he was a good man but not willing to put time and effort. According to him

[@cynthiadavison5785]

Do I have to talk like that while I'm in no contact?...lol..."How am I supposed to do that in no contact"...Coach...your voices are hilarious....😂

[@sabordelicia8811]

Cynthia Davison i have the same question

[@iamthestorm1004]

Same question for me too . I think we are suppose to share this list with our ex after they make contact with us after we've gone NO CONTACT ! My long distance girlfriend and I of about a year have an incredible connection and profess a deep love for one another. We are both dealing with personal issues and frustration and have had a couple of misunderstandings My gf has been very quiet past 2 days... I want to give her some space .alittle time to miss me, appreciate how much I love, respect, care for and adore her. But I won't allow her to treat me with like her last 2 exes treated her !! I thought this video was awesome and I'd like to put the quotes that Margaret mentioned into a ,sincere and genuine "promissory note" to my girlfriend !! I know she's been treated badly by those who have been the closest to her. I just want to give her comfort knowing I am here to be her Security blanket, safe haven and tolet her know I'll ALWAYS be here for her ! I'm going to type it out and send it to her... She knows and loves my heart. I'm NOT trying to impress her with some Online " form letter" .. I just want her to know how much I care and love her. I pray she receives my " Promissory Note" as sincere and authentic because that's who and how I am !!💕

[@stevenswan4686]

What if you had an argument, never begged, got blocked on insta and WhatsApp , went NC and it's been 6 weeks. They unblocked you on WhatsApp after 4 weeks but still no contact. No contact still gonna work?

[@rutavitello8320]

I knows they are smoothly know why they can be honest lies for 9 years

[@vidarebornlonewolf]

I really loved something Margaret said on this video. She wants a "real guy, not a nice guy." Throughout my life I been accused of being too nice. One time, one of my oldest sisters told me, if I treated every woman like I treat her and my mom, every woman would fall in love with me. Could you help me with this? I really would love to change this behavior I have towards women in real life.

[@invokerpropz3668]

There's nothing wrong with being nice.Someday you will find someone who will love you just the way you are. Just keep moving forward and never look back. Past has nothing to do with your future.

[@malvivente1986]

I'd say don't be toooo nice. Be manly, be smart, be playful, dominant, yet understanding. Learn to accept your needs and feelings, yet try to stay humble. Don't accept negative shit and stand up for yourself, but communicate decently and clearly.

[@brettgarrett6076]

I struggle with this too. My mother and Grandmother demanded respect, compliance, obedience, agreement. Often they would sulk, withdraw love, go on the offensive etc if I didn’t apologize or make amends. My father and grandfather would support them even when they weren’t talking sense. And even though they were strong men outside of the home. My sister realized this too however and suffered for it, she warned me not to bottle my feelings up for long periods and then suddenly flip out. Last year I felt me ex drifting away from me, not making time for us, and wanting to talk about our relationship. Now I know from these vids I started to act out of anxiety based attachment, and that my ex was clearly avoidant. But at the same time what I thought was being patient with her might have been me trying not to upset her. When I spoke to her about how I was unhappy with how she wasn’t making time she became cold and didn’t warm uo for a few weeks. Her avoidance was really stretching my ability to hold off my feelings of potential abandonment. I really wanted to be with her, I didn’t want the relationship to fail. There were a lot of other factors involved but in the end she was gone from my life. Was it my anxiety which drove her away, was it my weak boundaries early in the relationship, or was it other issues at play. I’m not sure. It’s frustrating I know because what we grew up with, the emasculated boy, isn’t what most women are attracted to in a romantic partner. Finding our feet with how a stronger man would be is kind of hit and miss.

[@xXleikabawseXx]

Lol do you take health insurance ?? Jk. I just wish I could afford it! Great work.

[@sherryvan4627]

Does anyone know what Margaret is reading from?

[@dallin8170]

I dropped any texting, and only resort to phone calls

[@dallin8170]

I have a case like no one else. I broke up with her and broke her trust. I know I made a mistake and it’s not what I thought I wanted at all. How can I regain her trust and get back with her!? As the dumper I feel way worse about all of it than the dumpee. She is upset with me and excused me of gas lighting many times

[@kaylabrown7045]

Can i tell them this if they are break the contact ..?

[@xxgro1980]

Craig thank you so much!! You have been of great help. Made my break up so easy. Can you make a video of after going no contact it's been a month for me. Ex is currently in a relationship but is starting to reach out to me. What could that mean? PLEASE.......

[@helenreal500]

2ssee

[@QuIeT_KhA0s]

One of two reasons. 1: She's realizing the benefits of being in a relationship w you compared to her current one. 2: She is truly happy and is feeling guilt over broken ties w you and hoping to find the final closure amicably.

[@noneyabusiness9931]

Regret

[@angelaexecutive7618]

I have done all the opposite..and our relationship lasted for 2 years till he finally gived up on me and left me..will he ever forgive me and come back?

[@user-xb1rz1oj3t]

Are we supposed to text this or write them this or what if it’s been a long time like 2-3 months with no contact and we have not heard from our ex?

[@bilwmedia]

p4 don’t contact them ever unless they contact you, if you have already started no contact then stick to it. If you haven’t started no contact, watch a video about no contact and leave the door open and things on a good note respecting their decision and your own value as a person before walking away and beginning no contact!:)

[@disorder_go]

How do you show them when you're in no contact!!

[@katiebennett650]

I always tried too get along with everyone but the hole I was growing up and there was always people my age especially would take me rong and not give me a chance too hav my on chence

[@gregorynelson9682]

What do you do when you’re in NC, but have things at your ex’s house that you don’t need, but she will eventually want you to remove?

[@charlesvecchio2932]

What happens if you have a partner that doesn't contact you but that's not hard this is what she doesn't do now you're in a dilemma

[@v.89G]

The problem is I was straight out n my ex always been like.. Everything is OK.......

[@samwasfound1172]

Same

[@reachtothesky921]

I offered this secure base from the start.... but I made very anxious mistakes... and I lost her.... I became overwhelming and creepy because of my seperation anxity 😔😔😔 I wish I could fix this

[@lossennedlorwen]

What if the reason our ex left us is because we lost emotional control and yelled and cried because they told us something upsetting? How can we demonstrate our change with that in a way they can trust? Especially if we triggered their past trauma? :(

[@suryaananda8362]

lossennedlorwen went through something similar. We weren’t great at the time it happened, but shouting made it worse.

[@suryaananda8362]

:(

[@PeteAndersen]

Then you should REALLY work on your self! You can’t the one you love that way - ex or next.

[@naturewalk5470]

Responde to : Am Offer an Ex Cannot Refuse.

[@amaadhardy5894]

Question for the community, what if you we're there for them all of the time. But because they are an avoidant and don't want you to be there (at the time) then blame you for being there for them. All while having a lot to bring to the table. This stuff is confusing....

[@xHappzx]

Struggling with this as I believe my ex is avoidant. I wanted to give him everything, was always there for him and I would always be. I still want to be, but he doesnt want me any more

[@9755312233]

Hey Craig and Margaret... Your videos have been very helpful... So im an actor and had a movie release... She came to watch it. After no contact... And Said we'll meet again... And then I waited for two days and asked her if she wanted to watch my movie with me alone... She told me her grandmother was in the hospital and she had to go there. But later in the evening she messaged me and asked me if I want to go get some ice-cream in the evening... We went there and had a good time... I don't know what I should do now.. if I should ask her to meet again or wait for sometime as it is my birthday in a few days (10 days) and I know she'll call me...

[@cynthiadavison5785]

Let her reach out now...it will create more attraction.

[@SUS-550]

Let her come to you 2 more times

[@malvivente1986]

What happened in the end? Looked good so far

[@johndoe5715]

@@malvivente1986 guessing it didn't end well as usually when theres no updates

[@deusvultmmxix6269]

He left your ex? Then it is Karma

[@SurlyMontanan]

I really want to break my 3 weeks of no contact to tell her this... I suppose I will wait a bit longer though.

[@dwightschrute8141]

Update?

[@knightGunners78]

what if my ex have given me million chances and i never learned but now that she dumped me im tryiing to prove her wrong this time.

[@bobross1550]

Then you're probably in good company here 😀 !

[@Fifafan117]

Whatever happened in this situation?

[@lizxu322]

Well then...she was in the right to break up with you. Only time will tell if you worked on yourself hard enough. Nothing like a breakup to motivate us However!

[@dwightschrute8141]

Update?

[@kungfukenny1540]

Update

[@princeofsubliminal5312]

Guys lol my ex moving out of state with someone else doesn't sounds helpful 😢💔

[@lizxu322]

Nah, most likely a rebound. Stay in nc, she will soon tire of this person once the honeymoon phase is over. She will always be comparing him to you, and might just prefer u over him afterwards.

[@rutavitello8320]

8 thanks god he's gloves me hermanant he's CONTRL me JOUNEY god bless my kids and my family together amen

[@tommykempo8962]

I have been in no contact for 2 weeks IE not contacting her but she contacts me nearly every day does anyone have advice on this ??

[@Bigsky1991]

My ex (we are apart 75 days now, ) one botched meet up, several texts, a few calls, two 30 day no contact periods.... but after reaching out on day 38 also her birthday, I'm sure our conversation yesterday rattled her cage.... she mentioned she's seeing someone (that I don't 100% believe...) but IF, I'm sure the interaction we had yesterday rocked her world, and hopefully totally sabotaged her birthday date night if she had one....well, no double blue tick marks on WhatsApp, and her profile photo has disappeared... am I blocked? Deleted? Interesting... so, starting what will be our 3rd no contact period.... its totally up to her now... if she's in a rebound relationship, I've got to let it run its course. Not going to sweat it. Nothing I can do about it anyway. I've improved, my life has changed (Military to Commercial aviation) I have options.... I am valuable. She'll NEVER meet someone like me... but I "fear" she'll settle for less instead of just being strong, and staying with someone strong. Fingers crossed she will pull her head out of her ass before it's too late...

[@pascal6158]

Update?

[@Bigsky1991]

@@pascal6158 an interesting turn...after my story above, I reconnected with my ex after she literally had to escape with her life from a bizarre rebound relationship she stumbled into. That episode made me take back all the "she's so smart" observations I had made about her. We reconnect, I took her to meet my daughters in Germany over Christmas and New Year, took her to 3 Countries, all 1st rate, great time. We come home and in late January I'm furloughed from my Airline due to the current Virus situation. The plan was to break ground on a new house in my lake property, and get married...but...with the Furlough, I put everything on hold, asked her to be patient, let's wait and see. She had reached a time limit of sorts concerning a Condo she bought in Bogota, and had to make a Decision...stay with me, Marry, rent her place, or, return, try to get her job back at Ministry of education in Colombia. She basically gave me an "Ultimatum", "marry me now, or lose me..." (huh?) Well, I don't react well to Ultimatums...and I detected much more intense commo between her and her Sister in Canada (her "emotional support animal " I always called her.. ) suddenly, she asked to be driven to Orlando airport, she wanted to go be with her Sis (again). I took her. Since then? One strange email out of the blue accusing me of maintaining contact with other girls I know . Where is she today? I heard she ran back to the fat, mobbed up guy in NY that she previously fled in fear from! "Any port in a storm" I guess. I'm not chasing her this time. She made her bed...

[@noneyabusiness9931]

It's been handled all wrong

[@lexifresh1552]

Big Sky 1991 sad turn of events ... wishing you the best xxx

[@Bigsky1991]

@@lexifresh1552 it kinda worked out...but not how I planned...but, probably for the best. Short version: reconnected last December, flew her here to Florida, we then went to Europe for a month, meet my kids, sightsee, visit old friends. All went well. We returned to Florida, and in February there was a "shift in the Force ". She didn't want to overstay her 90 day tourist Visa privileges, started using "we should get married " verbiage. This morphed into "marry me or lose me" . I "sensed" something was afoot. (Trust your instincts!) I was furloughed at my Airline in February. I said (sorry for using common sense) "why don't you go home, rent your new Condo out, get your old job back, when I start flying again, we can get married ". She refused, and got weird. She asked for "time alone " at an Orlando hotel. Dropped her off, she split. Found out, she ran BACK to the fat, old, Gambler that (she said) tried to kill her in a jealous fit of rage during our "time out" in the last year. Moral of the story... Women will use ANY method to get to a "Safe Harbor ". Like a monkey swinging through the trees, they let go of a limb ONLY when they have the next limb in their hands. I miss her, I loved her, but, U don't react well to Ultimatums , especially when they are stupidly reckless. Her loss, not mine. PS: now 7 months later. Guess what? Just like the lying beeyotch that broke my heart 4 years prior? This one too found out, the Grass ain't greener...and she crawled back to Colombia to get her old job back at a huge reduction in pay. Running away is easy...doing the right things that guarantee success? Always harder. But, work in the end. Thus endeth the lesson.

[@jamesforsyth8042]

I'm screwed! My ex is now with someone who is her rock, is not needy, manipulative and is there to comfort her. He even helps her out financially. How can I be her best option, especially as she won't even talk with me?

[@leviet7736]

James Forsyth ? Yeah you are done. Move on

[@babakbe1514]

@@leviet7736 Nah not yet. Give it 7 monthes

[@tr9809]

How do you know he's like that?

[@charlesvecchio2932]

There are some girls that I have dated in my life that will never contact there partner because this is who they are what do you do then

[@alexandrulupu725]

Today I haven't thanked you ! :)

[@ansanorossini7895]

What if they are getting back with their ex?

[@ririOliv]

Ansano Rossini mine did that for sex.. I don’t know what to think either

[@mariotibbrine1]

You dont want your ex back that's for sure throw out those old dirty smelly blown out dollar store bowbowz get you some jordans and some of the other top of the line brand name footwear in different colors and styles use them up and throw them in the trash or give them too the dogs as chew toys you will feel so much better trust me plus that keeps you looking fresh with the latest kicks daddy needs some new shoes get you some today with no delay!

[@skymc8598]

My ex told me to call him . Please call me please It’s my Day 25 of no contact . I think he’s getting crazy . Don’t know .. do you think he’s worried ? Or being nozzy . Because if he care he will come in person .. what shall I do .. he ask for breakup and I gave him a breakup.. now he’s been contacting me back and forth for 25 days now ..

[@jestinlu]

Are you suppose to tell them that when they're in a new relationship? and how do you do that when she blocked me on all social media after she's with this new guy.

[@cynthiadavison5785]

If she's hiding it...she doesn't want to close the door yet. Leave her alone....

[@jestinlu]

Hi cynthia, maybe that's true but she has this weird habit and that is deleting people from her social media. She told me before she likes to delete people she doesn't care about and all her exes from her LIFE? the question is why she waited this long to do that to me. Just because she's with a new guy after 7 months? I feel like I'm her backup plan now.

[@cynthiadavison5785]

jestinlu I totally agree. Do not settle. Do not be a back up plan. You deserve more. Work on yourself and do not reach out at all. I went through this already. My ex was notorious for breadcrumbing me to keep me in that space. Coach told me to tell him what I wanted and he is randomly making stuff up to see me. Not often. It's been slow. I started to date. He's seeing someone and it looks serious. I need to get what I want and stop looking for that in that person. Someone else can do that. If he decides to check me out again....new rules. He doesn't have power like that anymore. Keep working on it. Good luck.

[@jestinlu]

Best of luck to you too. It is painful but we all made this far. There's no reason to give up what we've been working on. Have a good day!