Andre's Steakhouse

Premium Episode 47

[@ds2101]

Love how Stav walks Nick through the bit to get more detail.

[@hammondswiss247]

Stav is the Lenny to Nick’s George

[@Bob-jn8gt]

@@hammondswiss247 Beautiful

[@dillon155minecraft]

@@hammondswiss247 Kramer to his George*

[@Thedopeethiop]

@@dillon155minecraft Stav is obviously George

[@linusdn2777]

Yeah because they had already done the bit and Stav was prompting Nick to retread it.

[@debra-sue]

"allow me to beret your acquaintence" made me wheeze for **several** minutes

[@ThouArtEverywhereAndNowhere]

I thought it was a fucking stupid joke

[@debra-sue]

@@ThouArtEverywhereAndNowhere i beret my condolances to your au contraire 🙏

[@FumblsTheSniper]

Forte Berete, my Contrare brother cousin.

[@filixconnor712]

Funnies shit ever that the only 2 French words Stav could think of was ‘baguette’ and ‘brie’

[@Chiefs_fan1595]

Escargot

[@DuckYou69]

He also knows Croissant and Buffet

[@douglasmcveigh5559]

I remember when Bluetooth headsets became a thing. First businessmen started wearing them, then every middle-aged black dude that wanted to look like a businessman started wearing them and pretty soon after, no one else owned one. It basically became the Chrysler 300 of Bluetooth technology. Boost Mobile made a killing on them.

[@coreygolpheneee]

I'm gonna fight ya on the Chrysler 300 that was a 35 year old upper middle management drug dealers car, these are the retired union black guys, think 93 to 09 Mercedes, but he loves it got a great deal on it and it's immaculate, minus the swisher smell, this is a kangol hat bowling shirt black guy, your thinking of immaculate courty ready jersey black guy

[@ZeranZeran]

I still see Indian men with them sometimes I respect it

[@Tom-oj7si]

Indeed, grape juice people have a tendency to ruin things

[@N_g_er]

​@@Tom-oj7si😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@skroopynoopers3642]

I still see truckers rockin em frequently

[@JayIVIell]

As a black man from Louisiana I can confirm that this is without a doubt one of the funniest bits I have heard

[@shifty1927]

As a white man from Maryland I agree.

[@biggiedickson]

As a gay man from Hollywood I agree.

[@jasonmaguire7552]

Very cool my ninja 😎

[@zahnegott5473]

As a white man from Louisiana I can confirm that I am gay and also retarded

[@theblackestvoid]

As a gay man I need constant care. I need to go to the doctor constantly. And that's why I trust St John's hospital in Los Angeles where Adam was born.

[@Z-J-]

Just saw a Instagram bio that read “CEO of RnB Seafood” & I immediately had to come back & watch this 🤣

[@bruhdon4748]

😂😂😂😂

[@Ari-uu6uo]

The waiter lowering his glasses is by far the most funny thing i have heard for order confirmation 😂😂

[@kaldo8429]

The only french words stav could think of were food.

[@mervunit]

He does the same with English

[@killerx9009]

What about weewee 😏

[@enjoyer6201]

He’s o’lingual

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

@@enjoyer6201 Land O'Lingual

[@jaredwillard3022]

Not even in an incorrect context lol he was just gawking at bread and asking for cheese

[@BongHitTransplant]

It’s such a specific and niche stereotype Nick is a genius

[@douglasmcveigh5559]

Which one?

[@themidnightman9798]

​@@douglasmcveigh5559Yeah, what's his name?

[@SeanGleason-xm9om]

​@@themidnightman9798SLAM DUNK

[@gilbertlopez]

@@themidnightman9798the gay one

[@happybeach777]

@@douglasmcveigh5559 middle aged black man

[@johnlewtas6833]

"your most expensive wine" - $13

[@5poopy]

"So Vin Yon Blonk"

[@ZeranZeran]

"ooh he boujie!"

[@ZeranZeran]

@@5poopy So Gah Dah Good

[@ImageLimestone]

Peanut nore

[@questisinthejam]

2 dollars less than it costs to get a handy underneath the Queensboro Bridge

[@grapes9h5]

Still one of the best bits of all time

[@ashchaya7676]

LOL you should probably listen to more than just one episode.

[@grapes9h5]

@@ashchaya7676 yeah this the only one I’ve heard lol

[@grapes9h5]

@totoroid hell yeah dude

[@jackm5564]

@totoroid yeah you

[@Vegas702travel]

This five minute video has more comedy in it than some comedians one hour special

[@telophasemusic]

A couple of years ago i drunkenly found myself watching chris hardwicks awful special and was close to leaping into the nearest grape smasher. Good news is it helped me sober up!

[@FumblsTheSniper]

“Some”?

[@Ray_D_Tutto]

@@telophasemusic Chris Hardwick being a comedian is an oxymoron.

[@enjoyer6201]

More than Nick’s own special, too, unfortunately.

[@peachpit_]

@@enjoyer6201sadly true

[@M.622-q7r]

As a community college graduate I can confirm that this is exactly the kid of bidness education you will receive mis playours

[@is64611]

Community college was like being in a liminal space in one of those low poly PS1 style indie games.

[@KidCorporate]

Fantastic description.

[@GlassesAndCoffeeMugs]

Love how Nick connects the entire bit back to community college at the end

[@RickR69]

"The beret to yo future!" holy shit lol

[@flicfan416]

i took one of those "mathematical patterns" classes in undergrad. i was a music major so it was just to fill a requirement. basically, 7th grade pre-pre algebra

[@bruhdon4748]

I’d still struggle

[@mrscruffles801]

Grade schoolers didn't used to even have to do algebra

[@TheBigWI93]

Im pre-pre gay

[@douglasmcveigh5559]

I love that someone Googled Andre's Steakhouse, found one, then took a Google Street View screenshot for the thumb nail.

[@NewEnglandGetsBusy]

Keeps the classics alive and out of Vietnam

[@jugo1944]

Andre been to Vietnam and is no longer welcome

[@Garrett1240]

Great username

[@AZOMBIERYO]

The best part of Andre's Steakhouse is the homeless man in the parking lot that offers to watch your car for $5, and when you say no he smears feces on your door handle so you get it on your hand when you go to open your door

[@williamneuzil7403]

Never been but it sounds nice...

[@connoroverall580]

Sounds like a fair trade.

[@007Sign]

You pick up your car and the seat is leaned all the way back, the bass is turned all the way up, and your cup holder is full of KOOL cigarette butts.

[@alexbaum2204]

Fuckin love that guy.

[@bruhdon4748]

I take my kids and when I say no to the homeless man I ask my 6 year old son to open the car door, knowing full well the poop is on the handle.

[@enjoyer6201]

I listened to this while I was in the fellas room.

[@meow195kitty]

That's called the economy of respect.

[@Pat18934]

holy shit, I've actually been to the Andre's in this picture. You wouldnt think looking at it from the outside, but it's legit

[@TheEternalHermit]

you left out the Intelligent dining solutions to create enticing scenarios for our clientele part.

[@StamesJevens]

Soulutions

[@JagoShogun]

I love the tented fingers lol.

[@Awesomewithaz]

Stav fleshes out the bit for Nick so much

[@fruitshishkabob]

Everyone knows Adam writes Nick and Stav's lines on each episode

[@TheGoonSquadd]

what ya mean? *yes I am stupid because 17 people understood you comment.

[@BigBeefNCheddar]

I truly miss his “Yes And” capabilities. Adam has a role and purpose, but he doesn’t have any understanding of how to propel a bit and it shows in TAFS.

[@havanaradio]

the whole thing was a text thread the day before. mullen just was baked and couldnt remember it all.

[@greenpilltheory6649]

Possibly Nick's funniest bit.

[@BIacklce]

Nick in CC was that episode of The Simpsons where Bart really tried that time.

[@allighast9714]

The juissance is here

[@KnoxWheelerJr]

Allow me to beret you the acquaintance of my son, AuContrarius

[@anajirdna]

Remember hearing this for the first time. Good times, good stuff

[@ImageLimestone]

I always imagine Andre as the guy in the Colonial Penn advertisements.

[@delelster]

This and the N dependence day bit are pure gold!

[@StamesJevens]

Idk Nick's perfect crime is pretty fantastic

[@mike2312p]

N dependence day is gold

[@tragiccomposer555]

nick should do a whole special in the character of a black comic from 2006

[@BIacklce]

"Nick the Entertainer"

[@KidCorporate]

Y’all be knowing’ how white people drive!

[@BananaPhoPhilly]

Too bad his stand-up is the most derivative dated safe shit lol

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

All the french words Stav could think of were food.

[@PaulHenning84]

True facts: I live in the city where that Andres is (it's good, politicians eat there when they're in town).

[@DotToryX]

This means theres a basement where they keep children

[@raptormoments]

In Florida?

[@PaulHenning84]

@@raptormoments yes

[@joshneedle111]

Every time I drive by the real Andres steakhouse I laugh

[@Pat18934]

Lol I was just gonna comment on here that I’ve been to the actual Andre’s in the picture.

[@Mojo__]

"All the steaks are well done" Fuck, man lol.

[@TrillgataQ]

"It's wrong but it sounds good, welcome to community college."

[@egyptianspaceodin1373]

i had a guy like this in my "math models" CC class which was math for liberal arts majors so we could get basically the same credit for having done the SAT without actually doing the SAT. bluetooth headset and all.

[@ImageLimestone]

Community College just felt like one big pyramid scheme

[@suhhduhh8088]

By far my favorite bit ever.

[@Soldulo]

domain expansion: andre's steakhouse

[@dt90891]

This was the best. Miss CT.

[@asseroya]

the economy of respect bit is so genius lool

[@RobBigs-lu8bq]

the beret quip was a world class punch up. they should have had Nick rewriting oomedies.

[@floppycopy1284]

With the Japanese nice one adam

[@TheSkullConference]

Thanks bro

[@alexmaccity]

Bidness 101 should also cover clap talking to really drive your point home.

[@paulkossak7761]

Maybe the greatest bit, Andre's steakhouse

[@alexmaccity]

I need bidness 101 and Andre's steak house in my life

[@EagleFang74]

I hate this because my older brother's name is Andre and I knew immediately that the steaks would only be served well done.

[@connoroverall580]

" Please Leave " Degree.

[@carlwinslo]

Its customary not to tip at Andres Steakhouse.

[@MrFuggleGuggle]

Y’all know what the real n-words is?… Noweldge!…

[@bsnonsense4535]

It's not punching down, because what we're joking about here is successful business owners, which is one of the most privileged classes in America

[@Mace907]

Who cares if it's punching up or down or sideways. It's a joke.

[@bsnonsense4535]

@@Mace907 your mom was very clear that she prefers it when I punch down into her cervix

[@jugo1944]

Oh, ok, thanks

[@mizuko6132]

Nah Nick is just being funny as fuck.

[@SweetBerryWine19]

Oh thank God, I was so caught up in it being funny I forgot to worry about the humorless scolds and what they think

[@alexmaccity]

This one is a gem.

[@terrancebarnhill1733]

I died laughing

[@charliemoe7935]

This is the Rosetta Stone for middle aged black guys

[@deuterium2718]

bidness 1$1 would be way cooler

[@System-ly6de]

listening to this then the IRL ad autoplays....trippiest shit ever. lmao this is some Eldritch shit

[@aenima4892]

This is a really good bit lol

[@JTF544]

Welcome to Andres Steakhouse, allow me to beret your acquaintance

[@DefiantKMYKE]

That laugh...

[@SargentVentures]

Allow me to introduce yourself to my fiancé. She’s O’Sexu’al.

[@kylefear2818]

I wanna go to Andres steak house 🥩😎

[@Sp0nker]

Does Andre’s Steakhouse have constant beeping from fire detectors that need new batteries? If not I cannot give you my business based off of being unauthentic.

[@makerstudios5456]

That’s a lot of purple and gold paint.

[@Tero92]

"u gotta give rrspect to get respect- prop Joe also the teacher at the community college

[@ottomuniz3621]

The Beret to your future 😂😂😂

[@BonIvermectin]

1:04 was he about to say Seth Cockfield? 🤣

[@jillsandwitch67]

this is such a hilariously specific stereotype

[@typeerk]

Stav: "Time to buckle up"... I wonder if he also says, It's about to go *up*

[@bobbyjuan2091]

The wine is Carlos Rossi

[@darianzielinsky96]

There's a real Andre's steak house

[@unhhgcrxexhjvuvujchcrzwzwz7956]

Entreprenubians

[@tybanshee]

Mathematical Ideas is so good

[@Shaggydadogg]

And thats the economy of respect

[@wmwinterbottom]

Forte, entrepreneur

[@sinicolvalley6185]

Forte again

[@ZeranZeran]

Allow me to beret your acquaintance It's wrong, but it sounds good! Welcome to community college. What a nice guy

[@janosmarothy5409]

BID 1$1 INTRO TO ECONOMY OF RESPECT (0 Units) M. Andre Cafeteria MWF 5PM-715PM

[@Seallypoops]

damn i failed and now im in Bidness 200

[@phillipglass7817]

Sharing da cake?

[@campa_d]

Uhh sharin da cake lmaooo

[@JazzzMonsterr]

stav HAMing it up

[@1three7]

They would also serve Hawaiian Punch for sure

[@johnjohnjohnjohn921]

The zero in 101 is a dollar sign

[@ELITESrBAMOFOS945]

Respectonomics 101

[@chr.st1an]

such a great bit

[@seasonone]

Top 10 CT bit

[@nextstep7097]

I’m gon to steal this

[@jageiosjgaeiojg]

The respect thing is the fur-q thing from brass eye right

[@KnoxWheelerJr]

If America was cool this would be an snl sketch

[@seanyuno2.066]

Bit starts at 3:05

[@ogluster8873]

Bidness 1$1

[@OkieDokieSmokie]

google scholars cradle

[@lousyacrobat]

1:53 cal back to gamestop bill

[@victorrain]

Forte is actually Italian.

[@nervesinapattern7261]

Oh contraire, par’don my beret but that’s a Continental word

[@Bigred88ftw]

As a gay white man from Washington I'm Micheal Douglas

[@Shaftygod]

Remember when nick would speak actual words instead of sludge

[@wayneadams9102]

Mathematical Ideas? Damn.. we're fucked.

[@jabread8907]

hell yeah

[@PostNutSocrates]

Did he ever do this as a stand up bit?