Anthony Padilla: The Illusion of Control | The Man Enough Podcast

[@KariN-rt1ok]

I really cannot express in words how much admiration and respect I feel towards Anthony. I've been following Anthony since his first smosh videos and I've always think he's a great person. I think the world would be such a better place if there were more people with the realness, kindness and empathy Anthony always shows . Thank you for this interview, it hit another level of being deep and vulnerable.

[@zeppelin7466]

Tricks for panic attacks (Coming from someone who tried them!) -Five things trick (Justin mentionned) Naming five things you can see Four Things you can touch Three things you can hear Two things you can smell One thing you can taste *Can be hard to do depending on the level of the attack -Put your hands under cold water, or put cold water on your face. *It helps ''Shock'' you back into feeling present. It helps me a lot when dissociating -Box Breathing (Learned from Justin's livestreams :) ) Breath in 3 to 5 seconds Hold 3 to 5 seconds Breath out 3 to 5 seconds Hold 3 to 5 seconds -Naming colours you see until you calm down enough to proceed to box breathing *Easier than Five Things trick, but I find it only calm me down, not stop my attacks. -Count to ten on repeat until you are calm enough to proceed to box breathing Hope this can help some of yall, take care and be kind to yourselves! xx

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you! We're sure this will help people.

[@juliejackman2649]

My counselor had me concentrate on how your feet feel in the floor, how your feet feel in your shoes, and so on with each body part. It was my first time seeing her and was having extreme panic attacks where I felt like every thing including the electricity in the walls was out to get me. While I was in her office I started into another attack and was crying as well because I was too scared to go back home after the session. Then she said what I wrote above and had me take 3 deep breaths and the most incredibly peace came over me and I was alright again. It was temporary and I had to do more counseling and medication, but that peace did last even when I got home and was alone for several hours.

[@WeAreManEnough]

@@juliejackman2649 Thank you for sharing. Sending you love and compassion.

[@juliejackman2649]

@@WeAreManEnough Thank you so much!😀

[@harshinivakkalagadda6933]

tysm for this

[@Chlobotomy]

When you guys were talking about “appearing gay” I was reminded of a school trip I took to Italy in 2009. We had a tour guide who was incredibly homophobic about a tour guide we’d had the previous day. We had said that he didn’t seem particularly gay to us (I’m ashamed I didn’t stand up for the man more or question the homophobia, but that’s another conversation), and the homophobic tour guide seemed surprised. He seemed to think the other man was super obviously gay and we told him that all of the Italian men we had met thus far seemed gay to us. He was shocked and asked us why, and we told him that the grooming behaviors, dress, and affection between men that we saw in Italian men seemed gay to us. I will never forget, he looked at us so flabbergasted and said, “what? Do American men not care how they look?” And he was DISGUSTED. He could not imagine anything less manly than not having designer everything, not having coiffed hair, and not drowning in perfumes. It was the first time I realized that manliness was not a monolith and it meant different, sometimes conflicting, things for different people. But no matter what manliness is in that culture, it is fiercely and violently defended.

[@WeAreManEnough]

So well said. Thank you for sharing this story. Many of us are trapped in our own bubbles and biases, especially when we're young.

[@KateStrongHealer]

Great episode. Anthony is a lovely guy. He had me at agoraphobic mother. Which was my struggle for a third of my life. Wondering how my struggle affected my sons because they certainly had to "help" me navigate life.

[@lisamarron7590]

Such a deep and wonderful conversation. I'd love to have Anthony as a friend because he seems like he also doesn't care about small talk but immediately opens up and addresses what really matters! It was so powerful when he said that what made him change the direction in his work was when he knew it was successful but he didn't FEEL good afterwards - THIS is all it needs! Also Justin's comment in the end - I've been thinking that this podcast / show should be called "human enough" from the very first episode, haha!! Everyone can learn so much from these conversations. Thanks for this great chat, I could have listened for hours and days ❤️

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you. The unofficial title really is "human enough". However, Justin started the movement as "Man Enough" because it's a jab at the oppressive way that traditional masculinity tells us that we're not man enough, or tells us to "man up". So it's a bit tongue and cheek. Ultimately, our mission is truly to remove the gender boxes and liberate people to just be people, however they decide to define themselves.

[@lisamarron7590]

@@WeAreManEnough I love that that’s the unofficial title! Also, all hosts have mentioned multiple times how toxic masculinity plays such a big role in so many areas - socioeconomic, environmental, you name it - so I totally understand why Justin went for that title. I’ve also read comments of people saying that they’d appreciate you not forcing the ‘masculinity’ topic on the guests but I personally think it’s quite important to include that or circle back sometimes, because like Anthony in this episode, there are a lot of aspects or moments in men’s lives where they haven’t even considered masculinity to play a part in it, and it surely opens up another view, or starting point for another eye-opening discussion when (re-)directed towards that. I think you’re doing a great job by inviting such a diverse range of guests and on the topic of how we can remove gender boxes, I think there’s no one who could have expressed and articulated it better than Alok in your other episode ❤️

[@WeAreManEnough]

@@lisamarron7590 Wonderful. Thank you so much for your feedback and support.

[@jillingtondubz]

I got into an argument online this week against people who where were writing hateful or ignorant comments on a news article about a girl who was suing her school for unfair treatment that seemed to stem from her having a girlfriend. I tried to be understanding of their background and even recommended this podcast, but the conversation only seemed to fuel their hatred for the nonbinary community. Would love to see a future podcast about how to have these sort of conversation about sexism, homophobia, racism, etc. with people who already feel firmly grounded in their beliefs.

[@WeAreManEnough]

You're doing the hard work of standing up for what you believe in. There is so much polarization in the world right now, and it is amplified so much more on the Internet where we find anonymity and safety in echo chambers. We have been trying to integrate talking points around how to have these conversations whenever we can and appreciate your nudge to make this a more concerted effort. Our producers are on it! We appreciate you.

[@jillingtondubz]

@@WeAreManEnough Thank you! Just an idea for a future episode. Loving the ones coming out too.

[@Riverr07]

Can I just say Thank you to the Man enough podcast. I watch every monday like a therapy session. At the moment in my life is hard to get therapy but life and its life lessons dont stop and this podcast has tought me so much about Men. Im learning so much that it feels like a couples therapy session for me because i am understanding my husband much more now and not just him , also understanding my father and why he is/was the way he was with my mother. So with that being said, Thank you . You guys are making a change in this world.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you so much for coming back week after week and for your feedback. It means the world to us. Glad we're helping to support you on your journey.

[@juliejackman2649]

I discovered Anthony when a other youtuber went on his channel and let us all know where and when. I've always wanted to know more about him and started watching and subscribing to all his posts. I'm very glad to watch and know him. He is a very good, caring person!💕

[@WeAreManEnough]

He really is. Very authentic and cares a lot about people.

[@danbergam1025]

So relatable. Another fantastic episode full of inspiring honesty and vulnerability as well as terrific insights and contributions from all participants.

[@Woodalchii]

Absolutely loved this interview you had with Anthony ❤️

[@kimdrury6184]

This was Awesome!!! I relate as a grown woman. Love your podcasts!!! ♡

[@annechawe8363]

As always, this episode is as insightful just like the others. I love how Anthony is redifining masculinity in his way and giving a voice to other men and boys. And opening our eyes as women not to make men feel guilty for their feminine side. Thank you

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks for checking it out and listening in! We appreciate you.

[@belledelemos9615]

Such great narrative, and the profundity of it, super intentional.. 😌 Thank you so much

[@crimpy13]

I watched Anthony for years and I've always liked him. I'm gay btw and he was my first crush.

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

❤🔥great conversation. Thank you

[@Ica688]

i love anthony padildo

[@Fernando-fr5cu]

Very wonderful,.meaningful conversation.

[@aravindkrishnasaravu2223]

Perfectly told Justin!A sweet episode to learn alot..Thank you for this :-) Sending all of you guys love!

[@gianmariarusso413]

Can't wait to see this

[@SpiritualWarrior8]

I love love love these !! I am so happy to learn more and What I like is that it’s not just men it’s so that the women can learn as well so that we can be united as one and learn together

[@Xthewp]

Beautiful and so real and raw. I love the conversation about anxiety. It’s a big thing that so many don’t understand and also don’t always talk about or feel like they can or should because it doesn’t feel valid.. at least I feel that way sometimes. I think maybe I’m just being stupid or that there is something wrong with me, but it’s a REAL struggle for so many, and it manifests itself in so many ways. Love, love, love you guys and this podcast! ❤️

[@WeAreManEnough]

You're definitely not being stupid and we're sure there is nothing "wrong with you." You are enough! Thank you for being here.

[@Xthewp]

@@WeAreManEnough Thank you so much! This comment made me cry! 😭 I am so grateful for you people like you and it’s nice to hear someone else say something so kind and give me that reassurance that I need sometimes. The world has been truly blessed by you guys. This podcast has honestly changed my life. 💕

[@fitgodsathletics]

"Killing it" (Justin 29:30). Violence is ingrained in the way we talk, if we want to end gender-based violence we need a cultural shift and that includes our use of words. I know Justin knows this, but just calling it out because he has taught us accountability. Love the podcast, Man Enough, always here to learn and support this amazing team that is doing great things.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks, Luis. Great points. We appreciate your feedback and are grateful that you're here on this journey with us.

[@WeAreManEnough]

hey! Justin here, just wanted to thank you for calling me in. I never thought of it that way and I’ll do my best to be mindful of language like that.

[@Home-o2v4h]

What do you mean? Lol stupid comment

[@camiagner]

This is so insightful, thank you so much for putting yourselves out there and sharing this content. FYI: I am from Brazil and the nail thing was a thing here while I was growing up to.

[@nicoletroz3203]

That thing about the nails, they also do it here in Costa Rica, and probably in a lot of more countries

[@marouskakoulouri1116]

I grew up in Greece and we "did" the shoe test about being ladylike too. How weird that these are the ideas that stick globally, right? Of all the things... :D and to this day I haven't forgotten about this and it still reminds me that I am more manly than ladylike ....what? :D So as an adolescent what you do is own it and say to yourself "yeah because I am more ballsy than you fragile ladies" trying to turn tables.

[@MichelleEstrada]

The last time I cried was a few nights ago like a day before Halloween. I was so drunk. I don’t normally get that drunk at least I stopped bc it’s not fun but i was out and I didn’t want the party to end. Anyway then at 3am I decided to rewatch black widow - my costume - I think I was crying already about things from my past and my current life and Then I was balling the whole time during black widow movie because her story and her sisters story is so tragic and it was all so emotionally real for me lol and 2 days before it was in the shower when I realized I wasn’t truly as connected to the people in my life who I always wanted to be connected to.

[@nupurbosmiya9983]

I was watching Sex Education Season three and they were talking about Cis-het men being in queer relationships and does that make them queer then? Does it make them uncomfortable because their brain is wired to function in a certain way. Liz's comment about freeing queer people frees straight people reminded me of that a lot. I hope there's a guest soon who can talk more about this. :)

[@Summer-xe6in]

Thank you for speaking openly about this and speaking about this. I finished Season 3 yesterday of Sex Education and when this came up I felt so heard and seen as a queer person who has experienced this exact same situation with ex-partners.

[@Fernando-fr5cu]

Would love to see Rachel Price on your podcast one day. Would love to see her take on manhood.

[@suzettephinn7829]

It was sweet ❤❤❤

[@MichelleEstrada]

If you guys haven’t already I would love to see an episode in which you talk about all the ways in which women take on toxic traditional masculine traits

[@kimdrury6184]

Oh and everyone is bullied and judged.....its not changed alot since I was a kid, it's just more in the media and social media!!!! Everyone is HUMAN!!!!

[@muizmeor1307]

Woaaahhhh!!! New episode!!! Wait, is that the guy from Smosh?

[@WeAreManEnough]

Yes! It is OG KZbinr from SMOSH.

[@gwenadams4509]

🙏🙏❤❤✨✨

[@jaimesalgadoakajaime_the_d7537]

being the man of the house, this is a macho mentality and it is controlling of dudes like him so no you don’t have to be the man of the house. Be there for your mom, but go live your life

[@gh4939]

31:32 do you realize that what he does for himself is exactly what he does for others? Looking at his traumas square in the eye, talking to people who are misunderstood and acknowledging them, trying to understand them… that it’s okay to have these feelings and to live harmoniously with them… to live with others… 🥲

[@WeAreManEnough]

It's beautiful. Thank you.