ANTICIPATORY GRIEF - HOW TO PREPARE FOR THE LOSS OF THE LOVED ONE

[@ginajohnson3540]

My Father is dying of cancer, and my emotions have been so intense. I've been very angry lately, and was wondering where those emotions were coming from. This explains it perfectly. Thank you. ❤️

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thank you for watching, Gina, my thoughts are with you right now…

[@beccam4607]

I'm praying for you

[@imanhuschmand]

I’m in the same situation. God bless 💙

[@UnrequiteDreamx6]

I completely understand. My father is currently going through this. I want to do anything I can to attempt to “prepare” for the deep loss.

[@wuwusela0191]

Thank you for this video. My grandmother might leave us soon and I am preparing the best I can. I love her very much and this is hard.

[@5MinutePsychology]

I am so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you right now.

[@wuwusela0191]

@@5MinutePsychology thank you for your reply. I am happy to have found this video. Understanding what I am going through helps. The best to you

[@paranormalsoulcircle3176]

Thank you so much for making this video. I am going through anticipatory grief. My Grandfather has Cancer but is refusing to get help for it and I can completely understand why he does not want to do Chemotherapy because he wants to die naturally and not have the last amount of his time sick in a hospital depressed. So I am making sure that I offer all of my time to run errands for him, do his laundry down the street, grocery shop for him and make sure that I can get to him in case of any emergency. The doctor told him that he might only have 2 weeks to a month to live but I am praying to God to give my Grandpa some extra time to enjoy the last bit of his life as he wants and for him to not be in pain and not to feel too afraid. My grandmother died of a horrible long stretch of cancer and my Mother has Cancer I don't have any other family, but I do have my very beautiful loving Dog named Binky to lay with me as I cry at night. I have been so depressed these past few years and rolling with so many emotions. What I am afraid of is my mental health state getting worse. I am so scared that when my Grandfather passes away I could end up suicidal. I don't want to end my life but I can't imagine not having my grandpa or my mother anymore, I will be beyond broken and shattered inside. I will just keep praying to The Creator that he can take the wheel for me so that I can Grieve properly.

[@5MinutePsychology]

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you in this difficult time. But also it's so beautiful that you are doing so much for your grandpa right now when he really needs you. This love and care is exactly what every person in need should get from their nearest and dearest and yet so many people can only dream of having a granddaughter like you are. This anticipatory grief you are experiencing now is an awfully painful one. And no wonder as this is your grandad! What I hear from many of my clients going through this stage is that they cherish every second with the sick person but also everything they were able to do for them as long as they are with us. Every single chore, every meal they feed them, every minute they watch as the person sleeps - they are grateful for that. And the love that the person feels is so heart warming! Thank you for doing so much good!

[@heynhamnham]

I'm 21yo, helping my mother cope with cancer.. I always knew I'd say goodbye earlier than my friends since my mother is way older than their mothers, but I never prepared myself for it. I just denied, pretending I had all the time in the world. Now it's late...

[@jamesmcallister9645]

I am a carer for my 83 year old mother who I know in my heart hasn't much time, thank you for your advice. God bless you.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Hi James, thank you so much for sharing with me.

[@dwessels100]

My mom is battleing Lung cancer, We are trying to remain positive. but it's hard to maintain at times, For me. She is having low dose radiation and low dose chemo ,this is her second round of radiation the first time did not kill it. We have all are eggs in one basket. If this does not work. I WILL BE LOSING MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND. Any prayer warriors out there. please say a prayer for her.

[@renxethan]

Prayers for you 10 months later, be strong both of you can get through this 🙏🏿❤️

[@5MinutePsychology]

Timestamps: 1:10 Let yourself feel many different emotions 2:25 Spend time with the dying person 3:00 Tell the dying person what you feel to them, if appropriate 3:41 Listen to what the dying person would like to tell you 4:28 Expect and accept unusual behaviour of the dying person 5:39 Inform friends and family 6:16 Take turns visiting the dying person 7:34 Be present and be comforting 8:06 Let the dying person go 8:36 Look after yourself 9:14 Consult a specialist For more information about anticipatory grief, check out this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r6DZdWStqdaXaMk

[@imanhuschmand]

I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for the time, effort and genuineness you put into this video. As my father begins his journey into the after life, this was incredibly helpful for me.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thank you for taking the time to write it. I appreciate it! 🧡

[@thatsmellsdivine]

Thank you so much for this video. My father is on his final days and I have been having such a difficult time processing the upcoming loss. Your words bring comfort and peace.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thank you for these words. Let this comfort and peace be with you.

[@AnaReece-b8o]

My dad has been battling cancer for 5 years they canceled his treatments and hospice is involved they said maybe a week to a month and these videos have really been helping me come to terms with everything

[@UnrequiteDreamx6]

I’m so sorry. My father has been battling cancer for 9 years and recently stopped treatment as well. I don’t know how to adequately “prepare” for the deep loss I’ll feel.

[@THEDANILUCKSSHOW]

My grandma is 96 we a preparing she says she is tired and for us to take care of each other. Lord knows it hurt but something in me will not be selfish by baby was the most perfect person to me and I am glad she is my Qwanka. We will be ok and live thru her memory.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts. It is so amazing when a person is so valuable that they will live further in the memory of their loved ones. This is beautiful.

[@kacperg8380]

Death was and will be always a difficult topic to talk about for majority of society. Of course death will come for each of us sooner or later, that's why we shouldn't be afraid of this. Thanatophobia is the name of this fear. It's completely different type of fear then usuall (like fear of dogs). You feel completely powerless against the inevitable. We need to be ready but we shouldn't be worried about this. It's good for example to talk about it with children but it's important not to scare them or make them feel depressed. They need to know that one day their parents will die, but they cannot think about it non stop. We need to find this golden mean. For sure it cannot be taboo topic.

[@ziomus26]

That’s very comforting, thank you very much for your support in this difficult time. This is exactly what I needed

[@marcinzwolinski8719]

Seba, You raised a very interesting topic. Little is said about it on a daily basis. Our fast-paced life often does not give us room for such reflections. Death is considered something sick and pathological and yet it is a common element of our existence. It's nice that you brought it closer. Something to think about. Thanks.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thanks Marcin! I’m glad you also see it this way. Whether we like it or not this is the one experience ALL of us will have to face sooner or later.

[@dr.kelseavisalli8998]

Feeling appreciation for this video

[@lucynaanna7303]

Thanks for raising this hard but essential topic,as I have impression that death become taboo nowadays. in general this world does everything to focus our attention on hedonism not to think about eternity the sense of our life . In the past memento mori was present on daily basis,so reflecting them had huge impact on choices and relationships . At the moment we should learn new how to handle in anticipatory grief and acknowledge that we can help the dying person to pass away in peace and support them. The provided hints are really helpful and all of us should reflect them and appreciate our closest family and friends,as according to Leonardo da Vinci, paraphrasing his words;treat your day as every next would be your last one.

[@sealseally]

Hi. thanks for this video. A close friend of mine is currently battling cancer, and unfortunately she might finish her fight quite soon. I have experienced major depression before, but i have never quite felt this kind of sadness i feel in these last weeks. I feel like my chest really is heavy, and my heart is a little more sunken than usual. I have realised that what im feeling is anticipatory grief. She is wonderful and a tru ray of sunshine to mine and many other's lives, and i really hope that she will be able to make a recovery in that small chance, but i am becoming prepared for will probably happened. I appreciate your tips and explanations of this.

[@Misanthrope11]

My father is in the coma he only has few days to live 🥺, I wish I can talk to him for one last time, it’s tearing me apart 😭

[@5MinutePsychology]

Forlorn, of course it's tearing you apart - it's your dad! It must be terrible! Can you not talk to him for some reason? Good number of researchers prove that people in coma can hear us very well when we speak to them. He may not answer, of course but does it mean he will not hear you?

[@denisebarraza5517]

With the covid pandemic we’re not allowed to be with our dying loved one. This is a travesty.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Indeed, this pandemic has deprived us of all these things that make us human. I hope it’s true that it is always darkest before the dawn, because it’s pretty damn dark now.

[@Lucia-b4d]

My mother is at stage 4 breast cancer, I feel so empty and depressed, And no one knows when my mother is finally give up and leave this world. I love you mom...

[@5MinutePsychology]

My thoughts are with you right now, Lucia...

[@Lucia-b4d]

@@5MinutePsychology Thank you so much for that ^^

[@zozaazz8044]

I am in a similar position and starting to feel guilt for not doing more earlier. I have no idea how to deal with those feelings. I wish you and your mother peace and possibility to be together in this material life as needed.

[@TheOriginalScribbleStudios]

I never want my granny to die. Every day is painful as I wait to hear the call. I wish mortality didn't exist.

[@5MinutePsychology]

I whish the very same so much!

[@johnsamuels958]

My grandfather is in his final stage of life... I still can't overcome the feeling he might leave us anyday

[@5MinutePsychology]

This is such a stressful time. I’m sure you will use it wisely. My thoughts are with you.

[@johnsamuels958]

@@5MinutePsychology sadly he passed away today... Even though I prepared my self I can't able to bear it

[@5MinutePsychology]

@@johnsamuels958 I am very sorry for your loss, John. May your grandfather rests in peace. And may this time of sorrow be the time of healing for you.

[@lexx2847]

Just wanted to thank your for this video, especially the discussion about feeling disconnected from death. It articulated perfectly some feelings I’ve had about recent bereavements, but couldn’t put into words.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thanks very much for these words, Lexx2. I appreciate it.

[@tionnam7100]

Me crying immediately

[@ziomus26]

Me too. This guy knows what he’s saying. And he has so much empathy. I would love for him to be my shrink.

[@NanePetrosyan-kr5gz]

Same

[@irislama4695]

Thank you very helpful 🙏

[@5MinutePsychology]

You are very welcome! Thanks for watching!

[@helenscott187]

Brilliant and helpful. Thank you so much for this video.

[@shellisuesmith]

This was so helpful, thank you!!!

[@dmgsoultogetherness6667]

yup...let it happen.....process everything..talk...pray,scream,laugh,remember,settle any past arguments..tell them you love them, thank them for everything they have given u.......god bless you sir

[@tonys.6482]

Help me please. My mother died of Covid on April 7th 2020 when it all first started. Now her mother my 90 year old grandmother is currently hospitalized battling Covid. She can’t have visitors so I can only call her on the phone. I got a call from the nurse tonight that my grandmother wanted to talk to me. When they connected me to her room with the nurse holding the phone to her mouth my grandma was yelling my name, “Tony, come now save me. Come save me I can’t breathe. I can t breathe. Please god please god I’m drowning” And all I could do was yell at her on the phone “breathe grandma breathe grandma. Please breathe. Don’t talk grandma don’t talk. Just breathe” And she’s continuing to yell at me come save me. And I can’t. I can’t do anything. I’m going crazy here, I lost my mom and now I’m loosing my grandmother too. And I’m in so much emotional pain. I’m going insane, I don’t want to live either now with these memories. I don’t want this I don’t I don’t I don’t. Please someone help me.

[@5MinutePsychology]

Tony S., I feel you did exactly what you could. You were there for her as much as you could. You did your job. I could never imagine how you feel right now. This damn disease has taken already so many people we love!

[@DK-hd9yc]

God be with you.

[@jocelynr232]

Sending you lots of love Tony.

[@MrL1O1V1E1]

Thank you

[@5MinutePsychology]

You are very welcome!

[@thefederalbureauofinvestig6802]

Damn so your gonna be the next big informational youtube channel huh

[@agentblue52]

I never anticaipated my sister would have cancer. Why does.bad things happen to good people???😣😣😢😭

[@paololungaro5004]

So I was enjoying this video until 5:30 where he says the dying doesn’t get sufficient amount of oxygen in the brain and will start hallucinating dead loved ones. How it’s not real. This guy is obviously not a Christian.

[@beccam4607]

well there's no way he can take beliefs and stuff into this any way he puts it he'll offended someone

[@ziomus26]

Well, I think he’s a man of science and academia. I think that what he is saying is really universal for people of many religions and no religions, too. At least I found A LOT of conciliation in his words. I stopped being angry with god, my life and myself for what happened to me. Maybe you could find some piece in his words too? Even if what he says is not church talk.

[@luciphyx.2733]

My great aunt has cancer throughput her entire body. She's been fighting since 2012 so she has earned her rest. Yet, I dont want to let go. All the things she'll miss, my niece won't remember her, and I'll live on without her for decades. My family is trying to prepare me but I physically cant handle it. This feels like my soul, all reason to live and be happy, has been taken. Tomorrow might be the last time I ever see her face, or maybe saturday will. I mean, she might pass before the sun rises. I can't make it through another.

[@5MinutePsychology]

My thoughts are with you during these difficult times, luciphyx

[@shebby0204]

Thank you

[@5MinutePsychology]

Thanks for watching!

[@The_Apollo_Show]

Thank you