Anxiety Specialist: 7 things I Never Do for Anxiety

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How we respond to anxiety determines whether or not it will get better or worse or if an anxiety disorder will develop. You might be surprised by a few of these items on my list.
1. First, I do not change or cancel my plans, avoid doing something, or go somewhere because of anxiety.
Experiential avoidance is an attempt or desire to suppress unwanted internal experiences, such as emotions, thoughts, memories, and bodily sensations. This unwillingness to stay in contact and allow inner experiences. It is sometimes called emotional avoidance, unwillingness, or resistance.
Experiential avoidance primarily maintains or feeds anxiety disorders, panic disorder, health anxiety, agoraphobia, and other phobias.
2. The 2nd thing I try to not do when feeling anxious is to do something or bring something or someone with me to feel less anxious. These are called safety behaviors or cues; we all use them sometimes. Safety behaviors include bringing someone with you if you feel too anxious to drive alone, carrying certain foods or water bottles, checking where the nearest hospitals are located, carrying around medicine just in case, bringing disinfectants, and cleaning towels.
3. The third thing I do not do when anxious is use a breathing technique, app, or device to calm myself down. But breathing techniques and relaxation are techniques we use to avoid feeling anxious. We do not want to do anything to avoid anxiety.
Practicing breathing techniques during times of high anxiety and panic can act to bring it down in the short term BUT reinforces the fear and cycle of anxiety in the long term.
I still recommend learning breathing techniques and progressive relaxation, yoga, and meditation, but only for overall stress management, not during high anxiety or panic episodes. During those times, training your brain that there is nothing to fear is essential. So instead, practice tolerating your anxiety symptoms without doing anything to calm yourself.
4. The 4th thing I would not do is use an anxiety medication like a benzodiazepine to calm myself down. If you are taking benzodiazepines to manage your anxiety, please discuss this with your physician before making any changes.
5. The fifth thing I don’t do is tell myself scary, what-if, catastrophizing stories like what if I pass out or have a heart attack and no one is here to save me. Or what if I go completely insane, and this anxiety gets so bad that I have a complete breakdown. Anxiety is just a fight, flight or freeze response. I am in no danger, and nothing I am experiencing harms me.
6. The sixth thing I do not do is seek reassurance from my friends and family or tell those closest to me how bad my anxiety symptoms are. While I want people in your life to treat you with kindness and compassion, I suggest conversations about how helping behavior can, unfortunately, reinforce and strengthen anxiety.
7. And finally, the 7th thing I do not do is monitor my anxiety symptoms. I notice but do not monitor my heart rate, palpitations, breathing, sweating, shaking, throat sensation, dizziness, blurred vision, or any of it. I would know those things were happening, but my goal would be to teach my brain that those are normal symptoms of anxiety and nothing to be concerned about.
Anxiety is treated paradoxically. We step into the fear without avoiding or doing anything to calm ourselves during those episodes. Our brains then learn that anxiety in our bodies is nothing to fear, and our symptoms diminish on their own while our tolerance improves.
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How can I help you?
I would love to hear from you. Please send me a message and tell me how panic has affected your life.
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Until next time...I will see you in session,
Paige
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(Although Paige Pradko is a licensed psychotherapist, the views expressed on this video and this KZbin channel including comments or any related content should not be taken for medical, psychological or psychiatric advice. Always contact your physician and mental health provider before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.)

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

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[@rlovesyou]

People listen. I have all types of anxiety issues and sometimes they are very overwhelming, but remember one simple thing guys. Exposure, exposure, exposure. Like people always say: Dogs fear and bark, when they dont know the person (anxiety). When they sniff the person and get to know him, they become calm and even happy around that person. Never surrender guys!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Great advice. We have to welcome in anxiety and befriend it. Running from it only gives it strength. 😊

[@BzInfoCoalition]

Thank you so much for the mention! This video is an excellent resource and will be shared with our followers.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Absolutely. I love everything that your coalition is doing. What a great resource that will help many. ❤️

[@timshomechannel1]

The most informative and helpful content covering anxiety anywhere. Thank you for sharing so much knowledge and kindness. Having lived with some form of anxiety most of my life, (and yes, it does run in the family) it seemed to have increased within the last 10 years. Fast paced corporate jobs have shown me that it is time for a change. Realizing that I won’t stop being fearful but I won’t let fear control me. Thanks again for the support you give to all of us afflicted. 😊

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Thank you, Tim. Yes, our genetics certainly affects our level of anxiety sensitivity. And the combination of being prone to anxiety disorders and working in a high stress job can certainly be a challenge. We are living in a high stress time in history and have so many things coming at us. Yet, we have to make friends with anxiety and not try to run away or escape it. That just makes it stronger. We have to invite it in and allow it a place at the table until it decides to leave on its own. 😊

[@MrUforobogrendizer]

Wonderful video as always. Thank you so much for your content!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

My pleasure. Thank you for watching and supporting the channel 🙏😊

[@ananddayal1631]

Ma'am, your video help a lot, giving right direction/guidance.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Glad to hear that. Thank you.

[@ellendeaton6093]

My anxiety is caused by eating fructose. The fructose creates gas which impacts the vagus nerve which creates extremely high anxiety. This began to happen after I started taking Lorazepam. Never had any problems before that. So, for me, thought preparation and avoidance does not work. The anxiety is created by physiological changes within the body. Once time has passed...usually a day....the anxiety is gone. The key is to not eat fructose. Thank you benzodiazepines. Because of you I can no longer eat fruit. And thank you to all the docs who so often get this stuff wrong. Anxiety, I strongly believe, is due to gut/brain sickness. It has little to do with the actual malfunctioning of the brain or weird thoughts. MOre research is needed to help get out this information.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Ellen. Thank you for your comment. I was working today on a video on the anxiety-gut connection. I agree with you that there is a connection and much more research is needed. I hope you like my new video when it is released in a few weeks.

[@GirlDad189]

Very interesting! Some of these are BIG ASKS!! Sometimes it feels like easier said than done.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Absolutely. These are big asks. It’s all a process isn’t it. We go through that process one step at a time. 😊

[@Totallyking]

Thank you Paige. Especially for spreading more info on the dangers of benzos. It's been discouraging to have OCD and Health Anxiety and the ERP does not take like it did 10 yrs ago during my last 2 yrs of this flare up. So my therapist has switched to ACT, which is useful, but i do wish i felt like my brain was actually being "retrained/rewired" for all my effort. Unfortunately, the benzos inhibit fear extinction and new learning to a significant degree(i don't have the papers in front of me right now so i cannot give specfics), but soon i will be doing a very slow hyperbolic taper off my Klonopin which will probably take ~18months minimum. I'm very terrified to have to deal with this possibility of protracted acute withdrawal syndrome AND my OCD, depression, anxiety and cPTSD. I also have legitimate physical health problems that my OCD health theme latches onto. I wish I was never given these medications but what can you do when you are 12 years old and cannot consent let alone figure it all out. Now at almost 35 yrs old it's very overwhelming. Sorry for the paragraphs but your channel is one of the few that i come back to(bought your HA course). Thank you for shouting on Benzoinfo. They and some other organizations made a very informative handout you can give to your prescriber as most drs don't understand benzo withdrawal or tolerance(i have had to fight to not be rapid tapered and switched drs and am now working with a PharmD who is actually knowledgeable about the Ashton manual protocol and slow hyperbolic taper for benzos) and it is dehumanizing. You are a beacon of light to me and many others.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, unfortunately, benzodiazepines can affect the learning consolidation process in ERP or any therapy. But, I love ACT therapy and incorporate it in every therapy session. It sounds like you have a great therapist. I have enormous admiration and respect for your decision and for sharing your story here. The more we can educate people and doctors to avoid prescribing the daily use of benzodiazepines for anxiety, panic and sleep problems, the better. Doing a slow hyperbolic withdrawal is a great plan, and you can slow it down further towards the end to help your brain adjust. Thank you so much for sharing and please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. ❤️

[@Totallyking]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy Thank you Paige for the kind reply! I'll keep you updated. One moment at a time is how i live right now.

[@nicolas_-_-_]

Hello 🙂 Thank you very much!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Nicolas. You’re welcome ☺️

[@alli5563]

Thank you for another amazing video :) I'm very bad about always coming up with what ifs. I knew they contribute to anxiety, but I also thought they help me to be prepared with a backup plan. Do you recommend not having backup plans as a rule and to come up with a plan B only after plan A didn't pan out? Thank you so much :)

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Alli. Nothing at all wrong with coming up with a plan B. But fearful thoughts will increase your anxiety. Encouraging yourself to be flexible and knowing that you will cope with whatever comes is a helpful attitude. 😊

[@IW2WBTB]

Thank you for all of your content! I really appreciate your efforts and keeping us up to date with developments in treatments. I am wondering, how do you find a balance of just doing things that are safe and normal rather than controlled by anxiety? I have been dealing with compulsive checking for over 15 years. It started when I had a car that didn't always lock the passenger door when I used the key fob, so I always checked it. In current times, I sometimes question what is reasonable. For example, I think most people probably check to make sure their house doors are locked before going to bed, so if I wanted to treat my ocd, how do I manage that one thing? Do I not check the door even once even though (I think) most people probably do that? Thanks again.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

That’s a great question. Ask yourself the question, “what would someone without OCD do in this situation?” Some people may check that their door is locked once, and some people never check. But most people without OCD do not check more than once. Then set a reasonable rule for yourself to keep yourself from compulsing. 😊

[@IW2WBTB]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy Thank you, that is helpful as always!

[@ThiagoHenrique-wh7qr]

In the months I've started to pay too much attention to any symptons of anxiety because of the fear of it taking over me. Needless to say, I just ended up hypervigilant and hypersensitive to any minor sign, leading to anxiety caused by the fear of my bipolar episodes coming back, which is funny since the anxiety attacks makes me more vulnerable to an mixed bipolar episode. I'm teaching myself how to handle it, especially since the source of it in my case is the fear and catastrophizing.

[@catherinewambui5322]

How are u now?so sorry for that

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, Thiago. I am glad that you are learning about how being less reactive to anxiety, and instead allowing it to come and go on its own is what helps in the long run. Beginning to change those fearful thoughts to thoughts like…I can tolerate and cope with anxiety. It will calm down on its own if I am less reactive to it. 😊

[@MuhammadIqbal-lx2wt]

Nice

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Thank you 😊

[@georgia3465]

Hi Paige, Do you have a video regarding doctor appointments/ test for those who suffer from health anxiety , anxiety and agoraphobia? It’s difficult for an agoraphobic to regular exposure but how can one take on doctor appoints / test? The fear and the what if I have this or that ? Thanks! I always enjoy your videos 😊

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

That’s a great idea for a video, Georgia. I will add that to my list. Thank you 🙏😊

[@GirlDad189]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy looking forward to seeing that video!

[@Motodew67]

What happens if you have unnatural "chemical" anxiety from a benzo taper. I am in withdrawal after 25 years of benzo use. I am in high anxiety most of the time. Not that my mind and behaviors have nothing to do with it, but this is mainly a physiological situation. Does that make a difference? I do slow deep breathing and mediation all the time.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Daniel. You are in a unique situation. I admire that you are in a slow withdrawal taper after 25 years of benzo use. It is a difficult situation because your brain and body are likely hypersensitive and over reactive to anxiety as you titrate down. It is a physiological situation as you described. I would recommend a regular routine of yoga, meditation, relaxation, good nutrition and walking daily. You will have to move through your days “as if” your symptoms were not present. You want to be aware of what messages you are sending to your brain. If you are reactive to the physiological symptoms when you feel them, you will be training your brain to continue to be hyper sensitive to anxiety. You want your brain to learn, even though the withdrawal, that you are unconcerned about the physiological symptoms. This is such a difficult task. My advice is to schedule daily stress reduction and stress management routines in line with what you have been doing. And move through the sudden anxiety surges as if you are unconcerned. In the long run, that strategy, although challenging during a withdrawal phase, may help to prevent you from having a chronic condition of anxiety sensitivity.

[@Motodew67]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy Thank you so much for the detailed answer. And very fast too.

[@KeithWilsonVideo]

You're the only psychotherapist who has mentioned "air hunger". Even my therapist never heard of it until I brought it up in one of our sessions. My PCP believes the air hunger has been manifested from my anxiety. Do you have any additional thoughts you might be able to pass along to me and your subscribers? Thank you.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Keith. The sensation of air hunger is an anxiety symptom that is created from hyperventilation. Hyperventilation causes a paradoxical effect. It makes you feel like you're not taking in enough oxygen (i.e., a lack of air) so you try to breathe in more. Unfortunately, because your body doesn't need the oxygen, your stomach isn't able to expand as much, and this creates a feeling as though you lack air. It is not harmful or dangerous. But, people often make it worse by trying to take deep breaths. I advise people to allow the anxiety and allow your body to regulate breathing on its own. But, if someone is very uncomfortable with this feeling, slowing down your breathing with very long exhales will help your body adjust to normal levels of oxygen.

[@KeithWilsonVideo]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy I’ve tried using a paper bag and slowing down my breathing and I still have issues. It’s been three years dealing with this symptom. Though it’s not as bad. It’s still lingers. It hasn’t effected my exercise or any type of physical exertion.

[@KeithWilsonVideo]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy on a sidenote, I find myself wanting to take deep breaths every couple of minutes. It’s a bad habit that I’ve developed, and I have to find a way of telling my brain to stop taking deep breaths so often. I just don’t know the most effective way to do that.

[@derekkrause9251]

I hate panic disorder already. Feel weak, bloated, scared I'm going to faint at work or my blood pressure is so I'm I'm going to have a stroke. My cousin had one at age 43. I'm on meds for mine and my dr said I'm healthy. I'm fighting it though. Sure is hard with a new kid and more tasks to do at work

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m sorry you are going through that, Derek. That sounds awful.

[@colinfoster7655]

Please elaborate on the breathing piece. Are you advising against even slowing your breathing down?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Colin. I am advising to letting your body take care of your breathing on its own. You do not want to breath in any particular way as that sends a message to the brain that you are fearful of the anxiety itself. And although breathing techniques can activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm you in the short run, they reinforce the anxiety in the long run.

[@colinfoster7655]

So you are just saying let it run its course and once your body calms itself down basically just tell yourself well that sucked but I'm okay?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes. Exactly. You may notice the symptoms, but understand that they are not dangerous, only uncomfortable, and will pass on their own. Doing a bunch of stuff to calm yourself only reinforces the anxiety in the long run.

[@englishcatholic578]

@@colinfoster7655 That's right, it's the opposite of what many people will tell you to do for anxiety, but it really works. This video is good for explaining in more detail: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZ2xn6qoq5Vsf68

[@dylannicks1146]

Is it also possible that avoiding CATS Caffeine Alcohol Tobacco is a safety behavior due to thinking the anxiety that comes with them is negative? Like, would doing any of those things be a sort of exposure? “ I can’t have a red bull because I’m going outside and am anxious as is “ a form of a safety measure?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Dylan. Drinking coffee is used often as an exposure, because it exacerbates anxiety in the body. And this allows people to practice tolerating the symptoms and work on reducing their reactivity to the bodily sensations of anxiety and having more helpful coping thoughts as well.

[@catherinewambui5322]

How about dizziness??pppd ..i was doing so well but now is back after receiving some bad new about loosing one of our family member..😢😢 I'm so scared.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Hi Catherine. Although I know the symptom can be uncomfortable, dizziness or feeling lightheaded is a normal symptom of anxiety. It is not harmful or dangerous and you cannot faint from anxiety. Just allow the symptom to fade on its own. 😊

[@georgia3465]

I have this vestibular issue as well… have you worked on that part ?

[@catherinewambui5322]

@@georgia3465 no.. I do walk or keep my self bussy that's all.

[@catherinewambui5322]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy thankyou I really do appreciate.

[@shadypiesuk674]

what can i do about going physically weak during high anxiety

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Anxiety symptoms are not harmful or dangerous. Just knowing that takes away having to do anything at all about your symptoms. Your job is to not be concerned about the symptoms and just move forward with your day.

[@shadypiesuk674]

@Paige Pradko if only it was as simple as that :). Not to be concerned about my symptoms. As someone who literally can be crippled from anxiety, that reply just does not make sense. If it was as easy as just ignoring my symptoms then it wouldn't be a disorder. Just ignore it

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

@@shadypiesuk674 , unfortunately, the more concern you attach to an anxiety symptom, the more anxiety you will have. It is difficult when you are crippled by anxiety symptoms. But, you have to begin to change the way you think and respond to anxiety. It isn’t easy and I am not implying it is easy. It is extremely difficult.

[@slim9978]

How do u deal with guilt

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Guilt and shame are two emotional experiences that cause us to suffer as humans. Yet, they are universal experiences. Some of us can experience these moments more intensely and more often then others if we have OCD or have experienced trauma. There is a body of research on how identifying it as a temporary experience when you feel it, remind yourself that all humans experience those feelings, and be as kind and compassionate as possible to yourself. Self compassion means that you talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. I will do a video on this topic soon. ❤️

[@salamatamin-pk8ln]

i suffer from not right ocd, my question is that is it okay if i will just think of the worst case scenario than doing compulsion madam Paige..thank you madam..😢😢

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, you can think of your worse case scenario as your exposure, and then do not do anything to feel “just right”. But, your best exposures will be to not fix things and not repeat them to get that just right feeling. You will want to do everything that you can to feel off, uncomfortable and not just right on purpose.

[@salamatamin-pk8ln]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy thank you so much madam.. pls.continue helping us specially to those people like me who can`t afford therapy.. i am from asia and it is not normal in my place to ask mental help.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I will do my very best to do so 🙏❤️

[@abcdefuxkk]

this is not for chemical aniexty

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

This is a broad example to help people learn how to change the way they respond to anxiety. 😊

[@abcdefuxkk]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy sorry ..because i seen this on benzo info page .. thats why i replied like that .. :) otherwise its all good to rewire your brain

[@EHM0341]

Yea, I completely disagree with your perspective about not using breathing techniques to reduce/manage anxiety. You said it yourself at the beginning about "When" (not "if") anxiety shows up because we all experience anxiety at times. Saying to not use breathing techniques for anxiety and stress sounds no different than don't use EMDR techniques for trauma, or don't use behavioral activation to reduce/manage depression, just suffer through it. You'll get over it eventually. Hey better yet, lets stop teaching client how to reduce/manage any of their symptoms on their own. To tell people they have to "tolerate" the discomfort to get over it is absurd to me. Using breathing techniques properly does signal the brain to slow down, reset, and tells that subconscious part that it is experiencing a false alarm. Sorry, I agree with everything else except that.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

As an anxiety specialist, I understand when and how to use breathing techniques. Breathing techniques activate your parasympathetic nervous system and can and do calm you down. However, if someone uses a breathing technique every time they are anxious, what message or interpretation about how they are feeling are they sending to their brain? They are sending a message to their brain that they have to do something now “breathing technique” because they don’t like feeling anxious. This further reinforces their fear of anxiety symptoms. You can only recover from an anxiety disorder when you no longer fear anxiety. This takes time and patience and commitment to allowing the symptoms to be there without avoiding them or doing anything to calm yourself.