[Archived Livestream] Empress Theresa Live Reading | Fredrik Knudsen Livestream

During my Empress Theresa episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, I featured many reviews and discussions of Norman Boutin's magnum opus, but I failed to include something important: the book itself. I aim to fix this. This will be a dig not just into his book, but the other material he has provided around it.
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[@greysen212]

It funny when you watch a clinical Down the rabbit hole and then watch one of these and see how animated Fredrik is, its like 10 to 100.

[@Tunkkis]

Right on, my thoughts exactly.

[@agp11001]

You gotta understand, that white tea just ain't cutting it for this.

[@LPempty]

Omg you’re so right I didn’t even realize it was him talking

[@saulthechicanootaku]

Speaking of animated, I imagine a cartoon of Freddie as an anthro bunny reading this nonsense and when he gets mad, he pulls his long bunny ears in anger like Rabbit from Winnie the Pooh. I mean, if his show is called "Down the Rabbit Hole", why not imagine him as an actual rabbit?

[@SenOutOfContext]

It funny uga buga Me cavemen

[@waterfalleyes]

i love fredrik's way of organizing his bookmarks. "Dumb Shit" "Useful Shit" "Neopets"

[@crancourt1789]

I would love a stream of just exploring these bookmark folders. Especially 'dumb shit'. Like, is Pasta Man dumb shit, or useful shit, or something else entirely? The world may never know.

[@strayroosterstrut5345]

In retrospect, that minor statement about schizophrenia seems to be extremely important to the story

[@Reddreambigfart]

The idea that Joan of Arc died without suffering kinda kills how strong her faith seems.

[@bethanychatman9531]

I mean in a way but, that in itself makes me fearful of people thinking being a martyr is faith or loving god.

[@IronFreakV]

It's more about the aspect of facing death rather than renouncing your ideals and beliefs. Joan of arc didn't just die for her faith, it was also for her country.

[@Star-vm9oc]

@@bethanychatman9531 what

[@ab-gail]

Tbf she still would’ve died.

[@InnerDness]

It also makes the story less tragic. A mentally ill 19 year old girl burned to death, screaming the name of the archangel she thought would come rescue her any minute.

[@Himiko_Void]

I think the thing that gets to me is that the line "If I were to write my autobiography now, I'd write three lines: I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb." would have been peak comedy and amazing writing if it wasn't part of THIS BOOK. Like that was a genuinely funny piece of writing wasted on this completely drivel of a book.

[@TheDolphinTuna]

It would be a heck of an opening line, that’s for sure

[@Cmbtsnpr]

It's like something Douglas Adams would write.

[@AH-be6bu]

Wouldn’t be out of place in a Kurt Vonnegut story.

[@angelsartandgaming]

Sounds like a snarky comment from either one of the Avengers or one the Guardians of the Galaxy. I mean I admit I found that kinda funny. Though knowing the author, that was meant to be taken seriously???

[@jnor8908]

Detsamma till y a Månpocket rätt fiouziygzuzghm ä månår nånålfydru

[@maximumspooky8155]

first chapter: "i'm not gonna be the one to be schizophrenic!" "i'm being followed. they've bugged my phones. they know. i must be special. they know that i know." huh.

[@TheAdarkerglow]

"You're not schizophrenic, Theresa, but I'm beginning to think some of these other voices in your head with me might be. You should start a fire to calm them down."

[@nate567987]

@@TheAdarkerglow you're not schizophrentc, Theresa, the arther is

[@QJ89]

"Oops! I need to derail the current story to tell you something I forgot to mention and that could not have been better woven in to the narrative later on." Words fail me... Also, it's a little ironic that, for her talk of not wanting to be labelled schizophrenic, she does come off that way.

[@kenjidev576]

"Theresa was always a quiet kid in school. The other students never seemed to notice her, She seemed average in everyway, but If you could see what's beneath that you'd know she suffers from whole range of mental ailments. From schizopheria, paranoia, self-delusion up to messiah-syndrome and narcistisc PD." "In her delusion, she thinks of her as a literal goddess, beloved and adored by everyone" - Theresa's Psychiatrist

[@hollyobaby6949]

me smoking pot before class in ~high~ school ammirite?? kidding i never did a weed

[@Wired_User]

Came here after watching KrimsonRogue’s vid. “That’s editting!”

[@perciusmandate]

"I can't talk about events for which I wasn't present." Immediately begins talking about an event that occurred 6 months before she was born...

[@anone.mousse674]

Technically, her embryo was there

[@deadchild9732]

Know what's funny? I immediately got the point of her calling the operator and asking for a pizza place - it comes out of a fear that the real operator was replaced with someone just pretending to be one. I also knew there would be 30-50 people with the government official, I predicted the crosshair thing before it was read in the video, and many other things. Norman's way of thinking is completely open and understandable for me. Why am I saying this? Because I'm a clinically diagnosed recovering schizophrenic. Makes you think, huh?

[@0Phobia]

Dead Child I actually laughed out loud

[@CruelestChris]

I figured the thing about the operator might be related to him knowing something about the functioning of some type of remoteoy read phone bug. It kind of makes sense if the bug is contacted using the operator number since you don't tend to get incoming calls from the operator, so the call connects to the bug on the line (so it can transmit data) instead of to the actual phone. Of course it would be nice if he bothered to explain this.

[@TuxedMask]

I kind of knew what he was trying to say, but the way it was introduced came out of left field so hard. It left me asking more questions

[@billierayskipper7959]

I just thought she was a kid that wanted pizza.

[@terrycoyle6864]

In a way, Empress Theresa can be read as a young girl's developing schizophrenia. She even mentions that mental illness is in her family, yet doesn't make a connection that she, too, could be under its influence. It's a coming of age story, bittersweet and tragic.

[@TheElementalBlood]

I'm a writer myself. Whenever I start feeling awful, useless and that everything I write is absolute trash; I listen to this stream. Preferably while drunk. Nothing I write can ever be quite so horrid as this man's "novel."

[@FiendMatadorSlayerOfNoobs]

As someone who also writes, I feel the same. I'd never publish my work, though. It's quite frankly embaressing, not to mention it isn't really intended for anyone but me. At least Norman's 'novel' helps me feel better about myself.

[@DarthVader-ze4dg]

TheElementalBlood Remind me that I'll need you for making a story about my war group such as, where does it takes place

[@almostshawn3230]

No one ever writes for anyone but for themselves, but that doesn't meant you shouldn't see if there's a market for your work and let your passion make money for you

[@andrewparsons2391]

this and the Maradonia Saga has helped encourage me to finally start writing my own stories in the knowledge that I (probably) can't do as badly as Norman and Gloria did

[@chloemcdermott2978]

I now feel foolish for doubting my writing abilities.

[@billvolk4236]

"Open the confession booth doors, Father Hal!" "I'm sorry, Norman. I'm afraid I can't do that..."

[@red2theelectricboogaloo961]

open the pod bay door

[@left-2-write28]

Oh my lord, that would make such a better story than Empress Theresa! An AI that acts as a religious figure but goes all murder robot.

[@TheGallantDrake]

@@left-2-write28 from schlocky horror to legitimately thoughtful meditations on divinity, no matter what you did with that idea it would be better than EmpTheresa

[@MagicalHatStudios]

"A woman doesn't mind dying so much if she knows her body will be preserved." I have been very clear and explicit to my husband about my wish to be cremated and kept on a bookshelf with my favorites nearby. If this story gives him ANY doubts I will have some haunting to do so help me!

[@valletas]

Well i just want to be frozen

[@goji3755]

I want my ashes placed in a vacuum sealed urn and lobbed out into space by an astronaut during whatever the next mission is that NASA happens to have scheduled at the time. I shall boldly go where no man has gone before! ...post-mortem.

[@Ellisepha]

Personally I'd prefer to be buried with some seeds, becoming nutrients for plants sounds way better than rotting in some underground box, just taking away space. Preserving my body for science may be cool too, but at the end of the day, idk what happens to it after my death. It's not like I'd have any use for it anymore lol.

[@Spagg0t]

If I didnt have any context on the author, I would have just thought Empress Teresa is the harrowing tale of a girl who's schizophrenic and too narcissistic to realise it.

[@cynewealdofcofaleage9705]

Jëff. Fixed your name.

[@smo-king6504]

Jäff

[@graphicsloth]

To be fair, expecting a person with schizophrenia to realize and self-diagnose that she has lost touch with reality is asking too much. UNLESS IT'S EMPRESS THERESA!

[@jdfellow5700]

You know that sounds like a good idea for a book

[@swimmyswim417]

Honestly, this book would work fantastic as that. Just add an epilogue chapter closing out with a short letter from a psych doctor, referencing Theresa’s actual reality and delusions.

[@nonexistence5135]

I have a feeling that the “schizophrenia runs in the family” part might be based off of personal experience...

[@CandyHatsuneWolff]

Normresa basically says, "My relative has schizophrenia and I refuse to have it!" as if that works. My ex was exactly like that! He thought if he stayed away from his mom (may she rest in peace,) he wouldn't "catch" her schizophrenia. Mind you, just him thinking that was, well, pretty darn schizophrenic. It also didn't work - he's paranoid af.

[@killerkitten7534]

This is my theory about the book actually. I believe she is schizophrenic and this book is how she views herself and the world

[@CandyHatsuneWolff]

@@killerkitten7534 I agree. The author certainly seems to have it, and it's pretty obvious that Theresa is his self-insertion.

[@fingerboxes]

Fun fact: It does actually run in families. Although there isn't a single on/off gene since it's a complex disorder (and possibly actually 7 distinct genetic disorders), it is heritable with an estimated heritability of 80%. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2826121/

[@Chibbanee]

@@CandyHatsuneWolff I'm pretty sure too. I myself have paranoid schizophrenia and I take meds and therapy for it. The whole leaps of logic where a movie seems to mimic Teresa's life and how she could magically deducted phone tapping is something I did on reg. The whole idea of how world is out to get ME 😂. Now I can clearly see how much of a dick I was like Teresa I feel a lot better to continue my treatment ☺️

[@DarthFennec]

"Theresa uses thousands of times as much energy as the human race has used since Adam and Eve." ... what even is that supposed to mean? I imagine Theresa opens all the doors and windows and turns on the air conditioner full blast, and leaves all the lights in her house on even when she's not in the room.

[@red2theelectricboogaloo961]

*energy bills 1000000*

[@QJ89]

Not to mention: a SCIENTIST seriously uses the mythical father and mother of humanity in his description of Theresa's energy. Next thing you'll tell me is how he thinks the Universe is just 6,000 years old.

[@RNJ142]

Its dumber than that, she basically raises the artic into a pillar and continuously blows it up to make it rain

[@TheLuckySpades]

Nah she just is perpetually blowing up the noth pole in order to create a fine mist that is raining on the entire earth The reason she's doing this is because she acidentally stopped the wind entirely (which itself would require massive amounts of energy and would kill all farm animals and cities in weeks at most)

[@GrimgoreIronhide]

He's trying to inflate her importance with this, he's speaking in a way you would about a factory or a large machine and then saying she's the best basically. It's a weird distorded version of a strongman boasting about how much he eats every day. Childish minds are very fixated on quantity. When they understand something like a car needing gass to drive some will then become obsessed with which one uses the most gass, ect ect.

[@rin_etoware_2989]

my favorite excerpt from this, by a mile: *ｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔｄｏｔ*

[@CrystalFier]

E l i p s e s e l i p s e s

[@willpitts5223]

Unintentional foreshadowing for Knuckles in Sonic movie 2

[@kapibaron]

If there is a sequel where Theresa starts mentioning the Time Cube this will make so much more sense.

[@jamesstuart3536]

And the therese have to hack the government system using Temple OS computer

[@paolo2763]

@@bokrugthewaterserpent3012 And they have to defeat the evil Mother horse eyes and her pulsating bodies of meat

[@simplyanobserver]

Paolo as they swing by purr cat cafè

[@ToxPhy]

Simplyan Observer To play some Neopets

[@user-ii2jo4nh4j]

Keep 444 likes

[@DarkLordFluffee]

know what? the whole first bit where she's convinced she's being spied on (minus the fox insemination part) could absolutely work. Like, a little kid maybe does something trivial, steals a toy or something, and then starts seeing fbi agents around and assumes it her fault, because little kids do that. then it turns out her parents were like meth dealers or something. have it end there, just a short story with a twist like that.

[@ShootingStarNeo]

DarkLordFluffee: So uh. I looked at this comment about 20 minutes into the video. I'm not sure what I expected to be in the book, but the words "fox insemination" was not it.

[@bigmanlettuce4388]

I know thats a homestuck picture u naughty naughterson

[@Eisenbison]

I'm an amateur writer, I could give that premise a shot!

[@SuperZez]

ShootingStarNeo Jesus Christ I read this comment thread and somehow completely forgot about it when I went back to the video and got to that part. HOW!?

[@almostshawn3230]

@@SuperZez i wrote a story like that and it got published. guys, this book is the book that just keeps on giving

[@2012fede2012]

I'm from Argentina and I have a preference to write novels in English, so imagine the sinful quality of my work... Anyway, this video boosts my confidence every time that literary agencies reject me because no matter how much my work is not wanted, it can't be worst than Empress Theresa.

[@kevincass9917]

Even if you feel your work is horrible, it will *never* be as bad as Empress Theresa.

[@ericgaw113]

"It's bad, but at least it isn't "Empress Theresa" bad.

[@YamishiMizuandDracus]

"A catholic girl is given infinite power over the whole world. What will she do with it? What would YOU do with it?" Me: hire an editor.

[@locke103]

so you'd still be using said power for good.

[@rigistroni]

And force that poor soul to read this book? Never

[@FalloutLibertyHell]

"I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb."

[@rach3092]

I want that on my tombstone, even if I didn't die by bomb xD

[@Gamsterjeff600]

That line alone... WHEW LAD.

[@lonelysith66]

Wasn’t that the theme of Dr Strangelove? 🤣

[@tabulaaaa]

It's the one good line in this book...

[@averylarsen2511]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKOkdqCepsl_fNU

[@UnknownEntity795]

Just for future reference, white and green tea have caffeine so if you’re trying to calm your nerves, you’re better off with chamomile 🙂

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

I knew I should have stuck with 100% pure Colombian nose candy!

[@red2theelectricboogaloo961]

but doesn't white and green tea have less caffeine than [for example] black tea/earlgrey etc idk man i'll go with it i'm not a tea guy

[@bexb3557]

red 2 the electric boogaloo yes but that's not what she said.

[@devintariel3769]

Everyone knows that whatever "people say" is true. So green tea has to have no caffeine. Just like putting in premium is better for your car lol

[@UnknownEntity795]

@@devintariel3769 you do realize they sell decaf green tea at the store right? Have you ever looked up the caffeine content in green tea? Also the octane levels in gasoline aren’t a myth...are you ok? Not every car needs premium gas, not sure who told you that. But some cars are designed to run better with higher octane fuel. I’m confused why you think everything is a conspiracy lol

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

44:01 “And no one remembers Charles Martel...” As Krimson Rogue put it: “You mean _Charles the Hammer?_ “ Clearly memorable enough if someone knows his nickname even now.

[@GrimgoreIronhide]

Yeaaah, Charles Martel is quite famous.

[@forickgrimaldus8301]

Battle of Tours Guy yup a lot of people know him.

[@ecartht5858]

"You are shitting me out of fifty different asses" is the best quote of the whole stream.

[@wareforcoin5780]

Empress Theresa is a sad story about a paranoid schizophrenic.

[@leonardogomez8812]

Pretty sure that's Chris-Chan, but very close anyways.

[@flowerkillerXXX]

I nominated bag of coke cans as best supporting character

[@theDENIMMAN]

stop, get some help just overall best character

[@alexander1112000]

Supporting character? You mean Bag of Coke wasn't the main character? I'm pretty sure the main character is Empress Bag of Coke, anyway...

[@ZorotheGallade]

@@alexander1112000 What do you mean bag, the Bag is way too bag humble and kind to bag take a place in the bag spotlight bag.

[@alexander1112000]

@@ZorotheGallade Empress Bag of Coke didn't seek out the spotbag, but greatbagness was thrust upon bag. Empress Bag of Coke's humble bagness is what makes bag the perfect leader bag to bring the bag world through the various bag trials and bag tribulations. Bag bag bag bag bag, bag bag?

[@FakeSugarVillain]

"When saw the fox again, I was still carrying around the bag with coke bottles"

[@DarthFennec]

"It could just be terrible writing, or it could be him trying to deal with trauma ..." That might explain why he gets so defensive about it. He might view criticism as his trauma being rejected and his self-therapy attempts denied, and that's why it's so important to him to convince people that it's a good and important book.

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

Ah I understand that feeling, not at norman's degree, of course.

[@mayosmayo4738]

Describe the environment: ❌ Describe other characters: ❌ Describe specific distances and time of actions: ✅

[@hollieginoza7935]

Describe Theresa's tight fitting clothes ✅

[@Heckules]

Empress Theresa being as cute as me is the worst blow I've ever had to my life.

[@leonardogomez8812]

Or a wasp nest wearing a bra

[@happyhydralisk6885]

I’m worried for you

[@theresajohnstone7091]

Lol a lot fing more cute

[@Blakbox92]

Most furries would disagree

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

You poor thing. We’re all here for you.

[@prismstudios001]

Screw fanfic, Empress Theresa needs an SCP written about her.

[@nejdalej]

Yeah she is such a keter

[@-ASH4I-]

Apollyon*

[@sinsofthefather]

yes this is a definite apollyon-

[@notmocka]

SCP-33401 SCP-33401 Is a humanoid female of 16 years of age, whom constantly exudes an average temperature of 135 degrees Fahrenheit, 33401 also shows higher than expected strength of a human female (see addendum 01-a). SCP-33401 displays psychological traits of narcissim, delusional egocentrism and auditorial and visual alucinations. Class evaluation pending.

[@sinsofthefather]

@@notmocka holy cow that was amazing- felt like i was reading an actual scp entry-

[@shaurmiath6719]

So, I was fascinated by this guy for some time, trying to figure out what motivated him to assemble the abomination known as "Empress Theresa," and what caused him to react the way he did to the criticism, and I did some research. It's been awhile since I did it, but this vid reminded me of it all again. I'm sure if you look into the things I'm talking about, you can find the same things I found; I didn't have to look too hard. So this guy was blogging for awhile, and he mentioned things like his "marketing plan" for Empress Theresa, which amounts to something like "There are more than a billion Catholics in the world, I should go after the Catholics." As a (lapsed, admittedly) Catholic, Norman's grasp of Catholic doctrine is tenuous at best. I personally doubt he is a Catholic. I think he literally just thought he could write a Catholic book and capture that demographic in sales. But it's more than that; he's personally invested in the story now, because he made his main character an analogue for Joan of Arc, with whom he clearly has an unhealthy obsession. I read somewhere that he said he never married because "women always get fat as they age" or something. He has this obsession with young women especially, and Joan of Arc was the ideal version of this, I suppose. In that essay about Joan's death, he talks about movie directors; and I might be playing armchair psychologist, but I think he must have seen some movie about her a long time ago without knowing how the story ended and was scarred by it. He has spent a dangerous amount of time thinking about her, especially how she died, and wanted to fix it. So, he gets this "kernel" he talked about, and decides to fix the story of Joan of Arc, where she doesn't die and everyone loves her, and she becomes a god. It might have just been narcissism, where he thought he could just write a perfect story in one draft, but I think it more likely that he just thought a re-hash Mary Sue fix-it-fic of Joan of Arc was THE Golden idea, and any story based on this idea would be universally beloved. He fancies himself a literary scholar; he talks about things that great books "get wrong," like To Kill a Mockingbird, Tale of Two Cities, etc... He thinks he "fixed" it all and created an irresistible book. Sprinkle in a little Catholic imagery, and bam: one billion sales. And then he saw how people reacted to it, and like any narcissist, he took any critique of his work as a personal attack, rather than accepting that his first attempt at something could be anything less than perfection. More than that, they're not just attacking him, they are attacking his personalized, refined version of his ideal, perfect woman, Joan of Arc. They can't be anything but satanic monsters in his eyes. It's like they're trying to burn Joan all over again. Maybe I'm thinking too much about this, but then, maybe if Norman had thought about it half this much, he might have had an editor take a look at it and taken a crack at a few more drafts.

[@feedthemeat543f]

Tbh digging into Norman's bizarre history is far more interesting than anything in the book itself

[@TheBonkleFox]

I feel like this was Norman's attempt to make a cult. Fortunately no one's taken the bait, and nobody's enabling/trying to take advantage of him like with Chris-chan (at least none that we know of).

[@diegobrandomtg]

“It’s like they’re trying to burn Joan all over again.” This rings so true thinking about it. Theresa is clearly such an object of reverence for him that he perceives all of these criticisms of her boring, narcissistic character as blasphemy.

[@TheBonkleFox]

@@diegobrandomtg Returning 3 years later I still find my hypothesis that Norman Boutin is Caster Gilles from Fate who somehow escaped into reality and decided to write this book to somehow still be plausible.

[@remysebald8893]

Okay but you'd flip out about the chapter where Theresa discovers Joan of Arc's body, and Joan's hair is PERFECTLY PRESERVED. and Theresa, of course, keeps a lock of it all for herself.

[@CruelestChris]

It is well known that hair does not burn, after all.

[@ouijacorn]

What's going on with Norman and hair?

[@riseagain845]

@@ouijacorn ...are you sure you want to know?

[@Banoffee_Animations-Portfolios]

@@ouijacorn he jerks off to it

[@Warhamer116]

I write (bad) fanfiction and I found this actually enlightening and very helpful in sense of seeing shitty writing pointed out and critiqued in a helful manner helps me avoid the pitfalls norman fell into face first. While the critique is riddiculing (which the story well deserves), Fredrik more often than not points out how to *improve* on the writing while pointing out problematic spots (which happen once or twice each sentence in the story). That is actually incredibly helpful as far as critique goes, even if most of the massive pitfalls (cough mary suuuuee?) are plain to see in sense that 'sun is a tad bright'. Overall -7/10 book, 10/10 review

[@billvolk4236]

Bad fanfiction can be so enjoyable if it's written with even a little bit of effort and variety in the sentences. Parts of My Immortal and Sonic High School are like poetry.

[@ohsweatbret]

Bill Volk I was going to say My Immortal is fucking epic. I nearly pissed my pants when I listened to the internet historian reading of it.

[@asimplefellow943]

KrimsonRogue is pretty helpful when it comes to writing advice, but his Empress Theresa review is like 5 parts and at least 4+ hours long

[@ZrinNZ]

"NORMAN NO!" just the way he said that is how I knew that was the moment Fredrik lost his mind for a few seconds.

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

“VEGETA, YES!”

[@ed-210]

Vegeta, no.

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

ED-210 Vegeta, maybe. If we have time later on.

[@red2theelectricboogaloo961]

@@Ostentatiousnessness vegeta, yes~~~ ;)))

[@Otis_.]

I wish Internet Historian would recreate this entire book for Sundance

[@jdotleaf]

Oh my god that'd be glorious... I can just imagine the pool of sharks and the NORTH POOL EXPLODING in his iconic graphic design

[@MrGhjkl63]

FUND IT

[@Gantradies]

iunno- wouldn't that be a little cruel? i mean, it'd require a lot of study of the source material....

[@warden821]

I was thinking more like the sonichu animated series

[@ericgaw113]

It could be the 21st century's "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

[@mcernieschumacher1296]

Fyodor Dostoevsky: Beauty will save the world. Norman Boutin: Theresa will save the world.

[@benjaminstevens4468]

Ah to relive my days as a young girl, just brimming with paranoid schizophrenia & about to blossom into a woman!

[@seretonindealer9440]

*I DIAL ZERO*

[@lmallia6719]

This book is so bad that my computer crashed 3 times while I was listening to this. Incidentally, as a FEEmale I'm absolutely sure that I have no problem dying so long as my corpse drifts in the ocean, held afloat by 12 bottles of Coke.

[@hannahkellaway]

L Mallia my phone crashed whilst trying to access it haha

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

Good to know, I’ll just write that down.

[@asimplefellow943]

facts.

[@GodOfPlague]

But you might choke a whale 🐋 with the coke bottles... or was that sea turtles 🐢?

[@lmallia6719]

@@GodOfPlague tis' a risk that I am willing to take. Though those would have to be some enormous turtles (working with Loggerhead turtles at the moment. They might just be able to swallow a bottle cap)

[@PENGUINGIRL1210]

Rewrite of chapter one: Theresa is a normal kid and likes to hang out at home because she doesn’t have many friends. One day, she’s playing in the front yard of her house and sees a fox run by. It gets hit by a car, and she runs to it and feels awful that the driver treated the fox like just a wrapper on the road. She doesn’t know how to treat it and is stunned, so she just holds the fox. Suddenly, a ball of light comes out of the fox. It emits heat and feels otherworldly, like a soul. The ball of light whooshes into Theresa’s chest, and she feels light-headed for a bit and passes out. Her sister runs out in a panic and brings Theresa back inside the house to her bedroom. The days pass uneventfully except for a news event about a strange heat wave or something. Theresa also notices these reports of “other life” and seeing orbs in the forest like she saw earlier from the fox. Some think it’s paranormal, but no one really knows for sure. Theresa also has the strange feeling she’s being watched, but she doesn’t know why. (The “spies” following her are difficult to detect because they’re professionals, obviously) As Theresa learns more about the wierd paranormal lights phenomenon, she starts having symptoms from the other soul and gets frequent fevers and nausea. She also has this heightened sense of “awareness” that mimics delusions more than anything else. She begins to sense that she really IS being followed and starts to see some of the spies. She’s terrified it’s kidnappers or something and is afraid to leave her house, making her parents worry she’s becoming paranoid or something. Then more wierd stuff starts to happen as Theresa’s “sickness” from the orb gets worse and she gets hospitalized. Then... I dunno. I don’t want to put more effort into this, honestly.

[@letsreadtextbook1687]

This is already amazing

[@asimplefellow943]

You've already written a book that is s o m u c h b e t t e r

[@kevincass9917]

Like legit, this is one of the best rewrites of *any* piece of media I've seen. It has so much potential for a great and unique story, one that would be amazing to read!

[@crancourt1789]

Every time I rewatch this video I brainstorm more ways to rewrite this book in a better way. There are some fantastic concepts and lines in there, they're just so poorly executed, unintentional, or poorly timed. It would make for a great NaNoWriMo project, honestly.

[@mochreach429]

"Great Britain was proud to bring one of it's own back home" but she was American... with Irish heritage...

[@CruelestChris]

It is just about possible that her family moved to America when Ireland was still under the auspices of the Crown and are staunch loyalists, but it's more likely Norman made her Irish because it's +50 to her Catholicism stat without incurring a "being Italian " debuff and then forgot and went with the "Americans are basically all English" thing (even though the majority of white Americans who can trace their ancestry are actually of German descent).

[@KM-hv1jg]

A book about a modern Joan of Arc could be awesome. Empress Theresa, however, is... not that book.

[@kyriss12]

There was show called Joan of Arcadia that was along those lines. Didn't see it myself, but ads for it played regularly back during the height f the Gilmore girls phase.

[@getthegoons]

I feel like most reviewers would sneer at the show purely because of it's link to Christianity, or it'd fall into the usual trap of Christian Media, where it doesn't have the budget or big names behind it so people just assume it sucks.

[@nate567987]

@@getthegoons there was a modoka spinoff manga about her

[@getthegoons]

@@nate567987 I feel like the most Boomer person in the world because I don't know what the fuck a madoka is

[@loone3100]

Think Like A Sponge magical girl I think

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

If you go to the Empress Theresa Wiki you can see a pseudonym who has replied to almost every single comment and the wiki itself explaining the plot holes. If the 10,000 comments on his Amazon aren't enough you still got more :D

[@eduardodiaz9942]

There... is an Empress Theresa Wiki?

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

Eduardo Díaz Yes. The US Army and CIA are looking into its application as a torture device

[@GregoryMom]

@@Ostentatiousnessness Too cruel, too cruel

[@declanhuber4250]

Frederik: this is getting boring *two minutes later* Frederik: what THE F U C K KIND OF SENTENCE IS THIS

[@spillikyn9128]

"Theresa never harms anyone" except when she literally forced the world to the brink of starvation and couldn't even bother to manage an 8 hour work day to save it. not to mention that guy who had his career ruined for asking a question

[@user-qh1mj5zq8e]

The 1st chapter seriously feels like she just has paranoid schizophrenia? Aside for the fox thing, say her dialing the phone to see if it was bugged. delusions and paranoia are both symptoms of schizophrenia. The belief people are watching her, the belief they're after her instead of say her parents, and belief that she can check the phone by dialing the operator all feel like the delusions of a paranoid girl. The random reference to "keeping HAL secret" also feels this way. even the denial about being schizophrenic, as if she can control it. The way the story is written its like it's like everything is straight out of her head. It doesn't make sense because its how a 10 year old thinks the world works. (Jan just being from the government, being able to tell if your phone is bugged by calling the operator, a Space Odyssey being so important etc.) Basically if it was just the and this was just the story of a delusional girl, It'd almost be good. Edit: actually even the fox thing could probbaly be a hallucination.

[@ohsweatbret]

Yea, this could seriously be like a story about a child who was molested by a priest and they retreated into a delusion where they are the most powerful amazing person in the world in order to cope with the trauma. It’s like a bizarro world forest gump. Instead of actually being involved with all these crazy events, they just inserted themselves into all these fantastical events.

[@plushs]

the more i think about it the more i feel like this really is Norman's thinly veiled self insert coping story combined with a creepy sexual fantasy.

[@tommykarrick9130]

I feel like Norman himself is probably schizophrenic, listening to this stream through that lens makes things make much more sense

[@FerousFolly]

I was just thinking this, wishing I could've been in chat to mention it during the stream

[@nudelsuppe3dsemmelknodel990]

The thing with the operator is, well, according to my understanding, an attempt to see if the operator had been replaced by a double.

[@BAMikeyD]

Fred swears so much more in his streams. It's fantastic.

[@k.morningstar7983]

angry owl boy

[@reid3031]

"You want a strong female? Try Empress Theresa!" -a book recommendation/brothel suggestion

[@patrickmoriarty1564]

Also I love the polite government spies who announce themselves to the person they're monitoring and announce they will be spying on her from now on

[@ShudowWolf]

Another don't be Norman tip: If your readers are openly questioning something, so will the characters. Such as the coke bottles - Fred openly asked why no one was stopping her and taking the coke bottles yet that was a plot thread we were supposed to believe.

[@wadespencer3623]

It's so impressive how calm you were in your main video on this, given how much this clearly pisses you off. There is one genuinely good line though. "It was probably used to haul general's butts to important strategic locations like Las Vegas and Disneyworld." This belongs to an entirely different character than Theresa. It's a very antihero, "fuck the man" line that is goofy coming from somebody supposedly as pure and sweet as Theresa. It's wasted on this.

[@KOT_AMV]

I could sort of see that line coming from Fisher in a spliner cell game

[@emmanuel5897]

There are some good quotes in this tbh

[@YamishiMizuandDracus]

This basically solidified my "Theresa is schizophrenic and none of this really happened" theory.

[@lucyalicenox5871]

Or all of Theresa’s life flashed before Joan of Arcs eyes as she was “going to sleep” at the stake lol

[@realleon2328]

i like to think it's normans fantasy of what would've happened to joan of arc lived nowadays and survived being killed

[@jays9869]

Empress Theresa, in Haiku form: I was given life, I enjoyed myself a lot, Boom! Then I was dead.

[@TheBonkleFox]

It's snowing on mt. Fuji

[@diegobrandomtg]

Mogami River

[@CertifiedWeirdass]

Poetic.

[@QuikVidGuy]

okay that 3-line autobiography was legitimately funny

[@WobblesandBean]

What, the self-proclaimed genius bit?

[@LocksAndChains]

The "I was born, I had a good time, I was vaporized by a bomb" part.

[@drownsinkoolaid4203]

I agree, it could only have been written genuinely funny by accident!

[@Minam0]

He does sound like the victim of child sexual abuse. It’s actually pretty upsetting reading some of this dialogue.

[@somniumisdreaming]

It is startling to read.

[@augustjonker1015]

Especially the parts with the preacher at the beginning.

[@creamofthecrop6743]

Hey I don’t act like that!

[@doubtful_seer]

Please don’t think that is how all victims of childhood sexual trauma/abuse are. Everyone copes differently, some in worse ways than others. I may be broken and self loathing, but I’m nothing like... that.

[@creamofthecrop6743]

Nicole Wren I wouldn’t be surprised if Norman is just blissfully unaware of how the book sounds.

[@GeorgeBPryor]

"I don't want you guys to be new-Normans" Too late, the neo-Norman uprising cannot be stopped.

[@kevincass9917]

We are the Norm. We will add your literate and compositional matter to our own. Lower your pens and surrender your books. Resistance, is futile.

[@zacharyh.9565]

Watch out, England

[@robertfolkner9253]

I’m a Norman, too!

[@brooklynquescis2094]

Empress Theresa or: How HAL Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

[@josterplays8128]

If Empress Theresa was done as a Creepypasta OC, it’d probably be considered a masterpiece.

[@rabidrabbitshuggers]

“Replaces some words with better ones.” I’m sure Hemingway and Faulkner gave the exact same notes to their editors.

[@shannonlewis2022]

“Theresa could be a dictator, but leaves everyone else alone.” Unless you’re a single-mother lawyer, in which case Theresa will make it so that you can’t drive or ride vehicles.

[@shikniwho7215]

or if you are a journalist who dare to "interrupt" then she will make sure everyone know and make you lose any hope of working with anyone ever again.

[@hollieginoza7935]

@@shikniwho7215 Or North Korea

[@raviejones969]

I was a firefighter for 10+ years - not only is his understanding of thermodynamics tenuous, but he also doesn’t know how firefighters work. Ground fire? Wtf is a ground fire? Do you live above a burning coal mine?

[@MrGhjkl63]

I was a firefighter for 7 years and I think he was talking about an underground fire

[@winterwilde6153]

As a cadet I learned that if you start a campfire you have to be careful cause there is a small chance of setting the roots of a tree on fire, but that wouldn’t stay underground for long cause you know... they’re connected to a tree.

[@jpaulc441]

The author probably lives with an effigy of Theresa he dresses and has conversations with every day.

[@WobblesandBean]

Made out of dust bunnies, used up wank socks, and his own hair and toenail clippings.

[@avalonjustin]

Late reply, but I disagree. He most likely dresses up AS Theresa.

[@user-nr7yn8co1w]

@@avalonjustin he probably IS Theresa

[@az27106]

Joan of arc*******

[@hollieginoza7935]

I'll bet he has one of those waifu pillows of her.

[@PocketDeerBoy]

One thing that strikes me as odd about his writing is how he spends no time at all to express how the character is feeling. It’s always either describing exactly what’s happening, or expressing theresa’s thoughts in short “i was scared” or “this made me happy” sentences. There’s never any kind of emotion he attaches to a setting. That military base? I don’t know what it looks like. I can’t imagine what it feels like because he refuses to attach any emotions to the experience of being there. Instead of a building looking “plain and neutral, but it’s scale and lack of color makes it very daunting. It makes me scared to think of what might go on in there. I hope i don’t have to go in there”, he describes it as “it was a non-descript gray military building with plain square windows and i would not know what one would do in there”. Especially since this is written from a first-person perspective, you really have to think more about how a character thinks. How would they describe their feelings about a place if they were to put it in words?

[@ryukrocks8843]

I Love that you could also nickname „Father Richard Donoughty“ as „Daddy Dick DoNoughty“. Truly a beacon of the Christian faith

[@emeryltekutsu4357]

"I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb." This is one of those parts that I legitimately like.

[@rubencoucke54]

Metal Rake of +1 fox hunting, has a reach of 10ft but must be wielded with two hands.

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

+1 to raking leaves skill

[@southofheck]

Weapon Ability: Fear (Casting Time 5 Minutes)

[@bobbyshaddoe3004]

Its interesting to hear Fred in his streams, his personality comes off so well, his laughs his swearing his anger, it's a far cry from the composed person that narrates the information he gathers together for each episode of DTRH. But its awesome.

[@kendokaaa]

The frantic way he says "DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT" is amazing

[@swagromancer]

"A woman doesn't mind dying so much if she knows her body will be preserved." Yeah, Norman Boutin probably owns a Joan of Arc realdoll.

[@sythersight]

Is it weird that Fred's aggressive writing advice makes me want to write short stories? Weird.

[@doubtful_seer]

I’d love some writing lecture/tutorials videos from him, honestly

[@killerkitten7534]

He’s the Gordon Ramsey of creative writing

[@librasuperstar3779]

I put this video in playlist for writing advice and media analysis

[@hollyobaby6949]

not a big deal but your pic looks like a wacky anne frank & that's cool i like it

[@QJ89]

Writing a review of your own book makes sense after more than 5 years, when your work has evolved. But Norman doing one so soon makes me think he's a narcissist who has peaked and has nothing else to prove.

[@mill_ania]

"Try Empress Theresa!" Na man she's too young.

[@funkoverload9488]

Lil Reshiram Nah, shes 18. legal.

[@ScreamingBeast]

she's insane and has the literal brain of an old man.

[@Noxedwin]

But she's perfect and an unbeatable Christian girl with good virtues and God on her side.

[@ihave6carbatteries408]

Empress Theresa: the most sought after waifu.

[@souvikmitra6161]

Nah that's not the issue She's crazy and narcissistic

[@razzledazzle1462]

In superhero movies, it's always fun to have that scene of the hero discovering their powers for the first time by doing amazing things while playing basketball or some sort of physical confrontation or something else that's exciting and fun to watch. I feel like this is what Norm was going for but he has his heroine play CATCH in the most pedestrian, anti-interesting, anti-exciting language. And props to people who finished the book. Reading the second half of the first chapter is experientially comparable to a caffeine crash.

[@thebadshave503]

"On the Thermodynamics of Killing Schizophrenic French Peasants" by Norman Boutin. Ah, the classic

[@rolando8708]

I had to work on an essay about ethics in business in a group project. The one who wrote the intro started it with, "Merriam webster's dictionary defines ethics as...". She couldn't understand why it was a bad intro. #dontbenorman

[@wareforcoin5780]

If the essay was about the varying applications of the concept of ethics in different contexts, that might be an ok opening.

[@renasance2]

I'm pretty sure the "bag of coke" went up Norman's nose.

[@boneman-calciumenjoyer8290]

I see what you did there.

[@Arachnes_Corner]

Before this video: I never should have written those fanfics at 13. After this video: Bow down, Shakespeare.

[@Gamer_Dylan_6]

This man treats his own book like it's the bible. He constantly quotes it to prove his points, and says anyone who disagrees is against god.

[@Randerson2409]

I can't be the only person who was mentally rewriting every line of this as he was reading it, right?

[@hjalmarwallen443]

No, you´re not. I did the same.

[@southofheck]

I mean its pretty easy to. Theres nowhere to go but up.

[@smittywerbenjaegermanjense7376]

There's nothing wrong with reviewing your own book in a certain context. If I were reviewing my own book, it would be as like an "I wrote this ten years ago, here's what I've learned since then and what I think about my own old work now" kind of retrospective. EDIT: By the way, anything I wrote ten years ago is cringy as fuck.

[@smittywerbenjaegermanjense7376]

This, however, is absolutely not that.

[@DopeioThePhoneBoi]

Smitty Werben Jaeger man Jensen Same

[@MattJDave]

That's the difference between you and Boutin, and any halfway selfaware (not even necessarily good) author. They look at their finished work and still think 'fuck, I could do this so much better with infinite time and tip-ex'. Norman thinks his work is perfection by virtue of it being his.

[@RawkLobstah88]

And that's the difference between you and Boutin. You look at your past work with a critical eye, finding faults in everything, even the things no one else would find, and would try to grow from your mistakes. Boutin looks back at his work and sees an immaculate piece of fiction on par with the works of Hemmingway and Poe, free from critique and improvement. He suffers from an extremely bad case of Dunning-Kreuger effect.

[@smo-king6504]

Hello friend

[@Vooman]

"She has a good, loyal husband" has the same energy as "You killed a good and caring daddy"

[@Bardockfan150]

It is not cliche to write a good story." -Frederik Knudsen, ~41:20

[@mayosmayo4738]

Norman calling something exciting happening on the first pages “cliché” while the world is literally created on the first page of The Bible

[@robertfullchim923]

"This entire book was inspired by the time Norman got molested by a furry. Thus the fox and the white stuff" - Sigmund Freud.

[@red2theelectricboogaloo961]

*oof*

[@krodmandoon3479]

@@red2theelectricboogaloo961 woof

[@kenjidev576]

The whole book is a rip off of the old and new testament. Give me a second to prove it. As the books The describe it: Jesus is a handsome, young, kindhearted man. Theresa is a beautiful, yound kindhearted woman. Jesus is described as calm, but actually easy to anger (Fig tree, jews in the temple) The same goes for theresa (look for your own examples I'm too lazy) Jesus walks on Water, moses parts water, Theresa shoots water in the air. The wind stopping is actually just another plague. Jesus performs miracles. Theresa performs miracles. Jahwe is always described as good and perfect, despite the ridicules amount of suffering he inflicts on the world. Theresa is always described as good and perfect, despite the ridicules amount of suffering she inflicts on the world. PS. Jesus is a rip off of Moses. Google it. And lastly, the fox was ripped out of that simpsons episode when homer has that vision in the desert. Just kidding, norman was obviously RAEP'D by a fox.

[@protogen_apollo]

@@krodmandoon3479 But foxes are bottoms!

[@DoomguyIsGrinningAtYou.]

@@kenjidev576 I just googled, 'Jesus is a rip off of Moses'... and... I didn't really find anything. Link maybe? I also like to point out when Jesus was 'quick to anger' when he entered the temple, how would you feel if you suddenly found your house filled with Jeffrey Epstein clones doing morally questionable stuff? It does sound like the writer did "borrow" some stuff from the bible though.

[@RobsMiscellania]

I... I literally bought this book. I just got it today. I'm sorry. I couldn't resist the opportunity to personally own a real-life meme.

[@leonardogomez8812]

Rob Kline Congrats, you bought a brand new Doorstop! Edit- I also makes a Great Weed-Replacement, just use it in a well-ventilated location.

[@RobsMiscellania]

Leonardo Gomez Oh it's good for inducing an altered state of consciousness, all right. The title page has a page number at the top (it says "1"). That's probably my favorite part so far. That, and the secret agency is called OOPS. Freaking OOPS.

[@Noxedwin]

+Rob Kline I think you need to find the nearest tree and apologise to it.

[@FiendMatadorSlayerOfNoobs]

You what? Sigh In the Darkness of the Far Future there is only heresy.

[@thewraithwriter22]

Like a physical copy? My man!

[@kieravermeal9127]

Also, the reason why she was able to sneak the Coke bottles everywhere is because she rolled 3 consecutive Nat 20's for her deception check.

[@jdcarrier953]

What a fascinating experience. I'm up to the firefighters' scene, but I had to comment. The beginning of this book makes a lot more sense as an allegorical depiction of a juvenile sexual experience. She's just outside the house minding her own business when a "fox" gets close to her, the archetype of a trickster. She's clearly startled by the encounter of the creature and the white thing coming out of it, to the point of running inside. At this point, we already know that kids from the neighborhood often play around the pond, and her sister's reaction makes a lot more sense when you understand that she's running from a boy and not a wild animal. And even though she doesn't have the words to describe what happened, she knows what's up. She even feels compelled to mention the fact that her mother had to have an encounter with a fox outside the house before she was born. "Oups!" indeed. Afterward, something unusual is going on with firefighters in the neighborhoods. Trying to cope with her recent experience, she can't help but see causality. Indeed, she wasn't afraid, just surprised. This is not what she was told about sex. She's afraid that means she could be mentally ill, or at least that people could think that about her. There must be another explanation. This whole thing feels like it could have been written during the psychoanalysis of a sheltered 10-year-old girl. How Norman Boutin gets into that headspace is another question altogether.

[@BobSpotOn]

Ultra Instinct Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Ray = Empress Theresa.

[@vinegar4556]

I'd pay to watch a showdown between the two

[@OutrightRegent4]

For each of the characters designed completely opposite of one another, they do have very similar qualities, dont they,

[@darkdragon1002]

I somehow got this compilation of some what obscure references and I’m very proud of that

[@cloudftw113]

BobSpotOn In the hands of someone who can actually write, that would legitimately be an interesting crossover. Two extremely powerful and self absorbed ego maniacs ( who are direct opposites) clashing.

[@boxorak]

​@@OutrightRegent4 Who knew the horseshoe theory applied to badly-written characters as well?

[@TheShadowWolfie]

I'd love to see him direct a film adaptation of the novel, fully convinced it'll be a masterpiece.

[@loafywolfy]

nononono i want it directed and starred by tommy wiseau

[@jcmsaucey6555]

Empress Theresa: 0/10 Factoids about seats: 13/10

[@Andyp12]

I'd be interested to see this as a live-action film, directed by and starring Neil Breen in drag.

[@funkoverload9488]

When I was young, I had a fox jump up on my porch, stared at me and shoved a white orb down my throat. *WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I M N O T C R A Z Y*

[@lumpofcoal2437]

You know, Chris-Chan's self inserts into his fiction can sometimes be fun to laugh at. This... This is just loathsome in an unbearable way. Nothing so miserable and disgusting as an old, probably sexually repressed (and/or traumatized) ultra-zealous religious man writing horrible, masturbatory fiction about a very young woman whom he incessantly praises as virginal, devout and exemplary only to then write extensive, ultra-descriptive passages about her physical attractiveness in 1st person narration. Norman Boutin mentioned that it took him 40 years to write this nonsense. I very sincerely hope that he keeps this rhythm for his next projects. *Can Theresa be considered a Virgin Mary Sue? I'll take my leave now...

[@rach3092]

She specifically stated she and her husband 'waited for marriage'...but then it was implied she and whatshisname had sex (I totally forgot her husbands​ name lol)

[@LegateGiles]

Can we convince the people that troll Chris Chan to make Empress Theresa the mayor of CWCville?

[@jimmyseaver3647]

@@LegateGiles Nobody really trolls Chris these days, and anyone who does so is looked upon with suspicion by Christorians. Also, "Virgin Mary Sue" is one hell of a pun, given how much Catholicism plays a role in this.

[@silversoul9683]

Josh Giles Chris has become so mentally unstable that it’s not funny when he’s trolled anymore. Last two guys from last year were just unnecessarily cruel.

[@CP-gh7hr]

Just clapped for you. Thank you for this.

[@kendra_t]

"If I were to write my autobiography now, I'd write three lines: 'I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb.'" Sounds like the opening line of a much better book. The rest of it sounds like the kind of stuff I wrote when I was eleven. EDIT: You like Demon Hunter? Awesome!

[@ShiftingFixations]

Listening to KrimsonRogue’s overview on this ahead of seeing this video is amazing, cause I knew the plot points, but didn’t know how badly they were put in there. Also hearing you lose it when I know there’s even worse coming shortly is hilarious. “What the HELL?” No, no, you mean ‘what the HAL.’ If you’re 100% lost on how tf something happened, it’s probably a HAL thing. Poor 2001, the computer HAL didn’t deserve this legacy... >_

[@ruyekahatori3073]

"I graduated at seventeen" Thats how old a lot of peopel are when they graduate high school. Let's do a little math She says she skipped skipped 6th grade and went to 7th,so... 12th grade she was 17, 11th-16, 10th-15, 9th-14, 8th-13, 7th-12 So this implies she was 11 in 5th grade...which is a normal age to be in...nothing special

[@basedokadaizo]

Ruyeka Hatori i graduated at 17 too, though i remember skipping first grade so i was 10 in the 5th grade. but i know it's not special. definitely not something to put on my résumé.

[@ruyekahatori3073]

I graduated at seventeen too-i was a summer birthday

[@ShootingStarNeo]

I graduated at 17 too. You may now feel free to crown me Empress of the Planet Earth.

[@seretonindealer9440]

It's very underwhelming to think about when you sort through the garbage.

[@eddiedingle767]

Ruyeka Hatori it might as well say, “I breathe oxygen and made of millions and millions of atoms.”

[@Grimblesmith]

that feel when you're writing something and you notice that it has the same problem as empress theresa of telling and not showing aND IN THE TRASH IT GOES

[@keybyss98]

Government Agent: We're literally gonna nuke you. Any normal human being: (Scared shitless) Theresa: Eh, what are you gonna do? I had a good life. :|

[@mayosmayo4738]

But she’s humble

[@NeoGames2]

Hearing Fredrik rage and talk between his teeth saying NORMAN YOU SAID SHE DIDNT TALK ABOUT GOD was what killed me

[@birdfishblue]

sir that's my emotional support garbage bag of coke bottles

[@QJ89]

@2:35:38: Who's flying the plane? It's suggested that it's being controlled by a computer program, but really, if Norman didn't bother with that important detail, why should we?

[@Around_blax_dont_relax]

@@QJ89 i love that theres still fresh comments on this, it really is just as interesting a case as say the TempleOs guy. The difference being Terry's story was tragic and heartbreaking, while Thereasa is just fucking creepy...

[@silvertail7131]

It's funny he spent so much time describing how she was strapped in, but didn't think to mention how they secured the random bag of objects she brought on board, when I'm sure eleven bottles of coke travelling at 110mph or whatever would be a threat to the pilots if not securely stowed. I dare say it would break my immersion... if any remained at this point

[@homefront1999]

" The story is about YOU !!.............. A teenage catholic school girl" Shit i never knew i was still in school, A different gender and also still a teen !!!!

[@knightscroftsquire-muldoon]

Just Monika but you are a catholic?

[@homefront1999]

Da comrade

[@homefront1999]

Also " You're ' Not " You are "

[@ankhi3585]

How dare you assume your gender, social background and age you autonormative piece of shit!!! (also "you're" and "you are" litterally are the same words).

[@homefront1999]

Are you assuming that i'm assuming my Gender, Social Background ?!? I'll have you know that i identify as all 61 of the Tumblr genders. You disgusting piece of shit. Do something like that again and i'll sick big red on your ass !!

[@colette2529]

I don't think it's funny on purpose but "I was born. I had a good time. I was vaporized by a bomb" is an AMAZING LINE

[@MegaRazor619]

"Everyone told me I was cute as heck when I was young" Glad she grew out of it