Are They Right for You? (Love Languages Explained)

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[@_xBrokenxDreamsx_]

those aren't really love languages they're relationship maintenance. love is the convergence of chemistry, connection and compatibility (body, mind, lifestyle) - once you find someone you love you gotta put in the work to keep the relationship viable. love is not enough.

[@luisjosp5]

SO TRUE!

[@Nikki.....]

Wish more people understood this

[@onlyforme8453]

You can love someone you're not compatible with.

[@jupvenvir]

I feel like I need to tread carefully if the compatibility in terms of perspective isn’t matching completely & it’s hard to see someone you love and have connection with is struggling when I think this is what’s happening because you just want them to be happy and protected.

[@IC24233]

Matthew Hussey is a scammer, check out his retreats and deleting the real reviews of his credit card scam!

[@itsshierlz]

I completely agree. I’ve said this in the past: My love language is whatever I’m not getting enough of.

[@lyndalee310]

😂😂

[@IC24233]

This guy is a scammer, check out his retreats and deleting the real reviews of his credit card scam LOL

[@katiedid1983]

I feel so seen after watching the beginning of this video!! I left my ex-husband 3 years ago after a 20 year relationship where I begged and pleaded for him to participate in our home and family more. I was drowning in children, a marriage, running a home and my own career and my ex-husband just would not step up and help. I thought my love language was acts of service because in my marriage, it was my only love language...... but in the 2 relationships I've had since acts of service isn't something I need. I actually crave physical touch which in my marriage was my least needed love language. I've never learned more about who I am or what I want than I have since I left my unfulfilling marriage. I feel like now I can be a soft, more feminine gentle person with my SO and that is truly what I want. I want to feel safe so that I can let my guard down with my man and be a space where he can do the same. Thank you Matthew, for your content. I only found you in the last six months, but it has been so extraordinarily helpful ❤

[@yallmeetdidi]

Wow. That's a lot to go through😢. I just pray you find happiness ❤

[@KA-ux9qb]

My story exactly!! Even the length of time. 😊 My ex thought that if he did anything, it was an act of service and I should have given him immense adoration (the narcissistic supply kind).... as if everything with the kids and house was my job and it was a gift when he did a basic thing. On the contrary, I have a co-worker who SEES me and helps lighten my load. That is the kind of "act of service" that feels loving! All of us long to be seen and known.... when someone sees you and meets you there, that is love.

[@katiedid1983]

@KA-ux9qb I'm so happy you found something that fulfills you more. You deserve it! The man who knows how to treat you can help you heal in ways never expected. Incredible men exist!

[@IC24233]

This guy is a scammer, check out his retreats and deleting the real reviews of his credit card scam LOL

[@yallmeetdidi]

@@IC24233 lol😂

[@sailormoon5760]

I love that Haudrey is the practical one when Stephen is being philosophical and Matthew is poetical ❤

[@sgaidola76]

Such a beautiful dynamic ❤

[@Julia-jv6rg]

I love Audrey, I understand why you’ve chosen her… so wise and sweet intelligent feminine lady😍

[@lenallenison7740]

For me, the Five Love Languages still stand true. I'm not saying they all should not come into play, but there is some sort of ranking. Just like favorite foods, favorite places, and favorite music and books, there is a hierarchy. I can say that I need them all and I would miss one if it were to go missing, but there are certain ones I can't tolerate going missing in my relationship. I don't think the Five Love Languages ever insinuated that we needed just one, but that there are certain ones that stand out and it's a good barometer for compatibility. I could have gone without gifts for the rest of my life without ending my last relationship. The lack of physical touch and quality time were dealbreakers, though.

[@joyejohnsonauthor]

I agree, the book states it's not the be-all of communication. People like all the languages, but you respond more than others. Even in the video, Audrey stated she liked all the languages but notice how she lights up at Quality Time. I can speak Spanish and Italian, but English is the language I know best and will express my emotions with.

[@VitaminVee11]

You nailed Mississauga! (With a slight British accent, lol). Long overdue topic, I completely agree with the study and conclusion that love needs to be expressed in a balanced way and that these 5 are not the only ways, but a good starting point for us to articulate complex feelings, and that they can ebb and flow pending where you’re at in life and what you may have been starved in or already fulfilled in ☺️ great discussion thanks

[@arn2arn249]

Matthew is an absolute genius, I feel like he has completely changed my life, his advice is spot on every single time, for anyone feeling low, and that was me just a short time ago, listen to what he says, take it on board and you will come out on the other side, happiness is a choice 😊

[@mikaylascampbell]

I second this! My relationship bible!! 🙌🏼

[@sidra5512]

Loving Steven’s new hair ! I’m glad he did something about it because he’s a very good looking man - now he’s even more handsome ❤

[@GoldenAthena311]

Is that his real hair? Looks really good on him yeeees

[@yallmeetdidi]

😅😅. That's true though

[@mindbodysoulliving8383]

How brave of you Matthew and Audrey to speak publicly about your relationship needs together. Admirable! I have found I overcompensate for my unmet childhood needs and overgive to a partner which ultimately becomes the norm and consequently leaves me feeling unseen and undervalued. Thought provoking all of you. Thank you 🤗🤗🤗 Have a hug each lol

[@DavidCartmellDJCartmell]

@Matthew Hussey I dare you to write the male equivalent book ‘Get the Girl’ ! I love your work!

[@DougHardy541]

22:57 Gold from Audrey.

[@Lisa-ip4ji]

I'm only halfway through the episode, but this is gold!! I've never really found myself at home in any of the five classic love languages, but the ones Audrey and Matthew talk about are really big for me. Anticipation of someones needs, be seen, thoughtfulness. Those are my love languages! ❤

[@romyxx71]

@Matthew Hussey - part 1, I am on chapter 11 of your book "Love Life" and may I suggest that you expand or add to this chapter the male obsession with family, aka having a child? It is currently missing as this chapter focuses exclusively on the female experience. As a woman who in my thirties had to deal with men (33 and over) who offered me heaven on earth because they wanted children. I think everything in your book applies to both sexes. Men won't come right out and say they want a family or children, but they will offer you the ideal relationship and suddenly ask if you don't want a child, supposedly subtly (not) telling you that they are open to it if you want it too. It blew my mind the first 2 times I experienced it and by the 3rd time the ideal relationship picture was offered, it had become a red flag for me who never wanted children. This guy wants kids!!! I think this is important because I did not appreciate the manipulation to use my womb. I remember telling the second guy who wouldn't accept that I was ending the relationship over this that if I could lend him my womb and get it back when he was done using it, I would, but since I couldn't and couldn't give it away for free, ending the relationship was the best I could offer. I really did not appreciate the manipulation.

[@laberbla6466]

I so feel you... as a man who does not want kids. A woman just broke up with me because of this, and I partly felt like she was more interested in a kid, than in a relationship with me - and I'm just a tool. Ofc it's just part of the truth, but it also feels like that. We are allowed to be angry also!

[@gloriakemunto9490]

Love languages also emerge from what we love to give.

[@zinedinezidane4771]

Agree but we have to learn that what we want to give may not be what our partner wants.

[@sharicoburn5475]

Matthew I totally agree with you I have been saying this for years that it is what we have a deficit in that we crave and then we think that is our love language when it's just that's what our relationship is missing currently

[@rosemarienicdao7679]

My love language For me physical touch, quality time and services…just you being beside me I’m ok ❤

[@Atlin.]

my bf has been demanding that I tell him I love him. like 5 times a day. he left to go do his own thing in life, we don't spend time together, we don't build on our relationship, we dont make love, etc. so we talk on the phone and text. almost every time we talk even multiple times a day he expects me to tell him I love him. this morning I tried to say good morning. he complained about that cuz he only wanted me to say "I love you" not good morning. hes constantly upset with everything I say even if he's asked me questions on text and I call to respond to them. I MUST SAY I love you first before anything so he doesn't get upset. what the hell is going on here??? we fight daily he doesnt care that he left to go do his own thing. I must tell him I love him this is starting to drain me of my energy. I actually feel like leaving him

[@1coolmister579]

Yea that must be difficult. Did you leave him?

[@CG-wr4no]

I actually like where Matthew spoke about how any kind of need could be a love language. At first I thought oh well thats too scattered, stick to the 5, lol, but then I thought you know, yes! And perhaps that would be a great thing to do is both people write out whats important to experience/feel/receive and even so maybe have it on a check-in board of what you're full or low in. Some of my off script love languages would be adventure (activities, exploration), spontaneity (unplanned excitement), relationship building (fun games or activities to connect and uncover more of each other). And perhaps many of these could fall under the main 5 love languages as subcategories or how one of the main languages could be expressed. Such as relationship building games could be under quality time. I think its about time we give understanding and growing relationships its due worth and service. People put more time into learning a sport and training as a team in a sport than they would ever in a relationship but does it not make sense to treat a relationship almost like a sport? Dont you need to talk about how to speak to each other, when in a heated conversation what is fair play and whats hurtful, or how to be there in the way you uniquely need when you're going through something. Do we not need to train and untrain ourselves in order to become synchronized and then be able to more effortlessly give other areas our attention while having a harmonious strong stable relationship and reach to greater heights? We can't scoff at what it takes to have a teammate relationship. We cant act like we shouldn't have to do a thing and it'll just happen. Did you do that for a sport? Did you do that for your degree in college or your highschool diploma? There was study, learning, and adjusting for improvement.

[@Yemusical]

Instead of a million love languages, can we promote Emotional Intelligence? Then we all stand a better chance.

[@monikagin]

Exactly 💯 Open honest communication skills can help too

[@jalovejoy]

I don’t think the five love languages were ever necessarily intended to be completely comprehensive. And I don’t believe that the designation of a “primary love, language” was ever intended to be completely definitive of a person’s needs, so it seems to me that any “debunking” kind of misses the point aimed by Gary Chapman. Also, while I definitely understand that not getting a particular need met can most certainly highlight that need in the mind, my experience tells me that the opposite is true, also. My husband passed away last summer. Our marriage was characterized by amazing love in every respect. Prior to being married, I would have told you that my “primary love language“ was words of affirmation. While that is certainly still very important to me, I came to realize that touch ranked far higher than I ever would’ve expected, because of how sweetly affectionate my husband and I both were toward one another. As Gary Chapman delineates in his book, this love language of touch was not primarily sexual, although it certainly included that within our marriage. But honestly, every little caress or snuggle communicated an immense amount of love to me-and I reveled in the abundance of this affection. Also, interestingly, one of my husband‘s primary love languages seemed to be acts of service-not just in his relationship with me, but in his relationship with everyone. I don’t think I fully understood or adequately valued that love language until I was married to my husband. He was amazing at expressing love through acts of service. And to Audrey‘s point about anticipating needs, his act of service were off at exactly that. 🥰

[@elizab3341]

Only 3 mins in and I've noticed Audrey does so well in the predominantly male guests with Matthew Hussey. There's sometimes a feeling of "boys club" on his podcasts, but she handles it well. Haven't seen too many women talking on Matthew's videos. Will look out for them

[@CB19087]

Feeling seen and heard definitely a vulnerability for me. Brings up a lot of sadness from my childhood. Difficult to know when you're ready to get into a relationship when there's still sensitive spots like that

[@valeriezaitzieff1462]

People who are very different from us have a hard time understanding us. Finding & making friends with people who have similar goals & interests really makes a difference.

[@aprilflowerrrss]

Love Audrey 💖 she is an inspiration, you're lucky to have each other

[@ceregirl5852]

Me too. I wish he’d let her finish her sentences.

[@evelynfoi98]

Matthew tell me please what happens when our significant other gets to know what we like to be told as a compliment and then he forever stops telling these words to us. Or when we tell them in general what we like and what we love and what we want from them, what we need from our partners, and they end up doing the opposite like they dont want intentionally to do us a favour,,to give us what we want or what we need emotionally.

[@3leggedsharkkickssurferinballs]

Maybe significant other is just a cruel person...

[@teeve1500]

It took me YEEEAAAARS to get used to hugs in UK. Its really sweet, but its massively difficult coming from "a cold country"....Kissing someone, "peck on cheek", was so horrid I shuddered.....After 20 years, I am putting up with it...Thats why I failed on dates from "dating apps", as I offered men my hand to shake when meeting....They did not call me back....

[@pennymichaels7449]

So great to have Stephen back! And Audrey as always 🥰Really enjoyed keeping up on insta with your national park retreat x

[@theresemavros8923]

Re Love Languages - I often find that what people don’t feel is important for them I receive, are often what they give mostly .. in my experience. Men have said that their love language is touch but they only give acts of service .. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@thayspascoal8004]

Such an insightful conversation! Love it

[@joshliam1967]

I bought Tears of the Kingdom when it came out and haven't played it yet, you've convinced me that it's time to give it a go!

[@susilubbering9813]

Audrey is GLOWING :D I'm calling it!

[@annilionz]

To have a healthy, fulfilled, balanced relationship surely you need abit from every love language??

[@motEngvity]

oh, Stephen 🎉 long time no see ❤

[@elenaolivier110]

What if they should all be included to make a relationship better....love language must do

[@wejoin]

This SO important! And YES, I do look forward to seeing you in my in-box! Hello Stephen❤🎉

[@romyxx71]

@Matthew Hussey Part 2 - On the point you make in the book about men and fertility. I have a number of male friends who, when they finally decided to have children with their partners, were faced with the reality of low sperm counts and the inability to salvage viable sperm for IVF. The sheer despair of not being able to give a woman the ultimate gift of your sperm with a sufficient count for natural conception or successful IVF completely demasculinised them. In my experience, men of my generation (I am now 53) in their 20s, 30s and 40s had a completely distorted view of themselves, relationships and family/children. I have not researched whether this information is out there, but I would love to know how younger generations perceive this.

[@shannonferguson4810]

Stephen! Enough said! 😍

[@T-800Vondew07]

The love language test. Was like taking the when you grow up. What do you want to be test.

[@tofu3802]

Thank you guys. Wonderful to see you all. Regards Tony

[@rachaelsealey1259]

How do you even know what you’re love language is? I love this conversation it’s intriguing

[@zinedinezidane4771]

There is an online love language test you can take. Or you can take the time to get to understand yourself by observing your interactions with those around you and what makes you feel good/not good.

[@LiliVanilli248]

The Five Love Languages was written by a Baptist minister (Gary Chapman).

[@creepypisces83]

You play Zelda!!! Love you guys even more, I've loved these games for 30 years ❤️

[@tilo4075]

He never gets on the train, texts back if I do, ignores subtly my 4 or 5 invites, not texting again but I still like him

[@juliecraig6770]

Yeah! Stephen’s back xxxxx what a great conversation xxx

[@BigCatInMyPants]

I will never understand love langages outside of physical touch and quality time. "I want my boyfriend to make me coffee and to buy me things" sounds so weird and if you say that I could not stop thinking you're more into my money and attention rather than an intimate connexion.

[@dianedorney5147]

Very interesting I enjoyed it very much!!! So many things I missed in my dating years, my life may have been very different

[@michellewalls_23]

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger together at last ❤

[@kdoisa]

How many is there actually people that can maintain this kind of relationship? Outside of relationship coaching context?

[@DorcasAdon-fc4cz]

Beautiful podcast there Matthew. Is your brother single? 😜😜

[@emeraldbarker-l5x]

All my relationship partners say touch is their love language While simultaneously refusing touch Can we elaborate on that

[@katiehiggins7086]

Audrey, Watch the Dark Knight. Then you will know what the league of shadows is. 🙂😉

[@mezlandia]

Indubitable & exquisite 🎩 ✨

[@kannchen5941]

I never clicked on a video so fast :D Thank you Mathew

[@clare5571]

Steven, you’re looking great 😍

[@AleidaG23]

Is it just me or Stephen looks more handsome and masculine? I like the way he thinks 😊.

[@tamaram915]

Yes! The way he thinks/his mind makes him extra attractive 😍

[@Poltdrimt]

Mathew Haussy I DO NOT HAVE A BROKEN HEART 😅😅😅😅😅 SINGLE WITH NO THOUGHTS OF ANY GUY Fitnessn30sec

[@Rawmel84]

My love language is all of them ! Gimme gimme gimme lol 😊

[@carolejean63]

I ❤ my State 🙌 enjoy!

[@TheGrimhilde]

omg, I love the armchairs!

[@casablanca6295]

Thank you!🙏

[@Ashmitakannan]

Hello Matthew, I love your videos; they've helped me gain a great understanding of what a healthy relationship should truly be like. Can you make a video discussing arranged marriages, especially from the perspective of an Indian like myself? What are your thoughts on it, and what are its pros and cons? @MatthewHussey .

[@laurafahey542]

Aw would luv to win that trip its mibe thk u kaura

[@teresareid5034]

I’ve gone into a dating site and I have not put picture of my whole body as I do get messaged about my breast as I’m a small size waste so they notice alit in the pasted I’ve been messaged by men and I have ignored them and changed the subject now reading your book last night and I suddenly had a light bulb moment that just changing the subject isn’t setting boundaries down to how I want somebody to see me as dating etc or going into a relationship now my hardest part I e never been taught the average things a person should have been taught as a child growing I was treated you are a child you don’t really have a opinion so how do I go about setting those boundaries when somebody mentions a body part of mine or bet you look great in a bikini as I want somebody to see me as me I’m more than my body 😢😮😊❤

[@alexandrabackhaus-if4gm]

People judge on looks as that's the first thing they see. It's normal. You can't change that. Please put a full length pic up. Men feel they get tricked. That way he won't feel this. Don't dress sexy. But own yourself and smile. Accept the compliment and say nothing else. If he wants to get to know you make him work on impressing you. Be honest with what you want i e a relationship. You've got this. 👊🏻

[@wejoin]

Jealous of club 320 members

[@hadiza1]

💜💜💜

[@heyu123]

Love Life just like Atomic Habits it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read 🩵