The #1 BLOCK Between You & Your Dream Love Life… Follow These Steps | Matthew Hussey

Bestselling author & dating expert Matthew Hussey reveals how to eliminate the blocks in your love life and magnetize your dream partnership. Matthew explores the balance between developing dating competency and doing the inner work to become a match to what you desire. He reveals the #1 reason people keep falling for emotionally unavailable individuals and how to choose the person who will be your perfect fit.
Matthew shares the 4 crucial steps to finding and identifying 'the one', explaining how to clarify non-negotiables and be sure about the person you're choosing. He also gives advice for healing heartbreak, accessing vulnerability, and navigating personal growth in relationship.
André's Book Recommendations: www.knowthyself.one/books
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Timecodes:
0:00 Intro
2:10 Becoming Competent AND Magnetic in Dating
7:25 The True Secret to Attracting Your Dream Partner
14:26 Why You Keep Falling in Love with Emotionally Unavailable People
22:39 The Power of Partnership for Inner Growth
34:14 Accessing Our Vulnerability in Relationships
37:38 4 Crucial Steps to Find "The One"
43:51 Identifying Your Non-Negotiables & What You TRULY Want
56:40 The #1 Way to Heal Heartbreak
1:05:33 Inside "Love Life", A Guide to Navigating Relationships
1:10:46 The Value of Being Alone
1:11:22 What Men & Women Don't Understand About Each Other
1:16:08 What Chronic Pain Taught Me
1:23:35 Conclusion
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Matthew Hussey is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and coach specializing in confidence and relational intelligence. His KZbin channel is number one in the world for love life advice, with over half a billion views. He writes a weekly newsletter and is the host of the podcast Love Life With Matthew Hus­sey. Hussey provides monthly coaching to the members of his private community, Love Life Club. Over the past fifteen years, his proven approach has inspired millions through authentic, insightful, and practical advice that not only enables them to find love but also feel confident and in control of their own happiness.
Instagram: thematthewh...
KZbin: / gettheguyteam
Website: matthewhussey.com
Pre-Order "Love Life": matthewhussey.com/lovelifeboo...
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Looking to Start a Podcast? Podcasting Course: www.podcastpurpose.com/
Know Thyself
Instagram: / knowthyself
Website: www.knowthyself.one
Clips Channel: / @knowthyselfpodcast
Listen to all episodes on Audio:
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4FSiemt...
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
André Duqum
Instagram: / andreduqum
Meraki Media
merakimedia.com
/ merakimedia

[@bartholetbay412]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@bartholetbay412]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Shelly renee white

[@elladonaldson-lh6nc]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks

[@bartholetbay412]

You wont regret it

[@bg9513]

2 minutes into this video, I thought - hmmm seems like Matthew is showing up differently than I remember. Not for the better or for the worse, but in a way that felt softer to me. More warm, compassionate. Come to find out, he confirms this himself midway through the video! Loved it. Thank you!

[@samanthasaunders429]

I noticed that too!!👍👍

[@salinasjo1]

Yes! Quieter, coming from a deeper place of self-awareness, assurance without arrogance, not outwardly performative or hyper, humble, vulnerable, and at a slow pace that shows he’s deeply considering the actual question instead of always being “at the ready” with any old answer the way a lot of intelligent ppl do when they want to portray they’re an expert in something…I flagged many parts of this interview to come back to later that I wasn’t expecting, like the topic of grief…so beautiful…

[@mindfulisle]

I wish the world would have more men like you two. Amazing conversation! 🙏

[@Klaus9002]

The world is full of such men. Don't you see that?

[@mindfulisle]

@@Klaus9002 darling, I didn't say there are not, I said I wish there were more...😉

[@RatnaDewiWithin]

I so much appreciate the vulnerable side of Matthew, it's so attractive to me as a woman to see a man being present, taking his time, allowing stillness... it's very clear that he has connected with a deeper part of himself and shows overall more depth in the way he speaks, the things he shares, his body language... and Andre you are such an amazing host, it's truly inspiring.

[@baduenterprises1548]

Just changed my life in that moment..the one who doesn't say yes can not be the one🎉..oh I'm 68..never too late to learn❤❤

[@hushpuppy7694]

Matthew Hussey is completely right! Andre you are an incredible host, very compassionate and most importantly you let your guests speak instead of trying to one up them and you are truly engaged on listening and not needing notes. By far you are amazing host/ Podcaster. Thank you for everything you!! ❤

[@gangaselvaraj4165]

Absolutely 💯

[@HopeWins777]

GRIEF is simply the result you didn't want. But God has a plan.... 🎉❤❤❤🎉 There is HOPE for tomorrow. Be still and LET HIM BE God.

[@75catie]

Whoever Andre and Matthew's significant others are have won the Lottery..Swoon❤❤❤

[@northofyou33]

It's true. The older you get, the more and more it is a lottery. Not all of us will be winners. I don't mean to be negative, just realistic. I leave my heart and my eyes wide open, but I live as if I am doing this spin around the earth on my own -- which right now I certainly am.

[@sofiabraun-valle717]

The love of your life is not another person is yourself ❤ you are the one who has to love your own company if u don’t like it nobody else will. It really all starts within 😊

[@guitarsz]

Matthew is such a gift, he has a very empathetic and non-judgemental presence and he just explains things so well

[@thewaxandgreaseremover6182]

Matt was one of the first spiritual teachers I ran into. This dude is full of beautiful wisdom and knowledge with respect to relationships. Thank you so much Andre for these killer episodes!

[@BrandonCharpentier]

This was great! I almost didn't watch because it didn't fit into my usual diet of esoteric / ancient history / quantum physics / nonsensical comedy, BUT something in me told me to watch it since I am deep down a hopeless romantic and could use some practical advice now and again. Matthew had a way with words that I thoroughly enjoyed and I really like how clear he was about the 4 levels of finding "the one". Well done Matthew and as always Andre! Loved it.

[@oliviae369]

At 2:06 André asks Matt a great question, something I have thought about and have asked my own relationship coach. Matt doesn't answer André's question. At 37:38 I love Matt's four levels of evaluating a life-partner, it's such a great framework to use. 1) Admiration 2) Mutual Interest 3) Commitment 4) Compatibility

[@tammycarter6035]

Thanks for the confirmation!! My teenage daughter just recently helped me shift my 50 year old mindset on this topic. We had just both gone through an unexpected heart break- I didn’t share too much with her but I did my best to empower her with advice I couldn’t seem to take myself. She was post 4 days a break up and was I was 4 months and she said, “my person wouldn’t do something like that!” How right!! Here I am lamenting on how come it didn’t come to full fruition if it was so perfect - it’s because he wasn’t MY person! Took the baby to teach me. ❤So that helped my reality shift. I still find myself thinking of that one person but it feels like it’s so the past and the future is where it’s at with beautiful new set of eyes!! What I loved in this podcast that was impactful for to me, was : Disappointment is a lot easier to get over than the chronic grieving of telling ourselves a story that we found our person…”

[@devarmont87]

There is no "my person" meaning a person out side of yourself. You're buying into a delusion if you feel pain, the pain is a reminder that you believed in a falseness. You believe that someone else can make you happy or ge your reason for existing. The person for you is the person in the mirror. You are the person for you. No one else. That's why heartache is so debilitating, because you've disempowered your worth and places it into the idea of another person. I'm glad your daughter could steer you off your trap, but don't delude yourself into Thinking that the pain will disappear, it never will. Embrace it and practice on loving that aspect of you

[@tammycarter6035]

@@devarmont87 yes, totally understand that but sometimes you get gut punched and have to “remember “ all that again. At this point, I take my lessons more seriously and take them with me to the next NEW💫

[@christinatichenor9721]

Does anyone else get frustrated when we are told to “just love life” when we are working 60 hours a week? Who has time to love life properly these days? Makes me more depressed to know that I don’t have the proper foundation for what you are talking about due to circumstances outside of my control.

[@rissarose22]

I use to feel similar to this before my healing journey. Until I realized I have all the power. You have to believe in it first then put the footwork in to achieve such desires. You have to first understand the principles of thought and word having power. That you are a creator! Speak positive affirmations into your life and circumstances. Ask for support from your guides of helpers. Or don't, we all have free will, but I will leave this for you and hope that the seed has been planted & roots to follow. BLESSING TO YOU FRIEND.

[@mdmommy]

You do have control beyond what u realize.

[@sportsport1654]

What we work 8 hours, rest it's life. Without work does not make sense. We are wrong teach, if we do get a good job we do have life. But it depends how we spend time out side the job.

[@huggnote]

Hi Christina, sending lots of love from Ireland. Read 'You Can Heal Your Life' by Louise Hay. It completely changed my life and my sisters. It gives you the tools you need. Take your time reading it. It will blow your mind!! 🫶

[@user-lw4jv3yy8o]

1:26 the 1 thing to remember is you are loving life just right!.... Think not. Your reality is the only one that holds any sway. You are still seeking. Congratulations you won.

[@Intuitive_mind_healing]

I have loved the conversation so far. I have a perspective to add. One hand clapping. You told your story that you needed to have another hold that space for you. So you were lucky enough to learn that lesson of self love through love. That's wonderful. We can also learn it through trauma. We can learn it through a "toxic" relationship where you get abandoned in some way. Then through taking the time and being alone without being, "in the game". Because we can work through what happened and find all the same answers when we find them in ourselves. We don't need to be in a relationship to learn to love ourselves and not need anyone else to hold space for us than ourselves. But someone else doing it is a lovely way, if we get to that point before the options get farther away than your energy. 😂

[@zaharafreeman4694]

I can concur.....don't get hung up on the package. I found the most mind blowing person. All 4 on his list check, but the depth of quality of each is so incredible. This biggest physical feature is this man is smaller than me. But he is so much smarter than me. And I'm a smart cookie. He makes me laugh every single day. And he can see right through me. I hated in my past 20 years relationship that I could hide parts of myself. I can not hide in this new relationship, and I love it so much. He calls me out when I hide. And it's so sexy.

[@vincentgros]

that childhood story, it hits home... It's very helpful to reflect on that now and see how it's rooted deep. Great interview! Lots of insights

[@hithere4819]

Wow! I love this collab - unexpected, so props to you both for widening your circles

[@michellequintana3805]

It’s such a trip to watch why something like feminism even exists in real time! I love it!

[@mikki4155]

This is the most real, mind opening and heart opening thing I’ve heard in a long while. Even I myself felt very in tune and connected to your convo as a listener. I cried the whole way through, thankyou a million , this has really helped me come out of my avoidant and numbness to actually feeling what I’ve not been able to feel and connect within myself . Thankyou so much, your work is powerful. ❤

[@superaristogatta]

This is one of the best conversation I ever heard on every single topic, and every point you made here is absolutely everything I needed to hear. Thank you for helping people to live better and navigate better in this crazy nowadays world.

[@georgiaroberts3039]

I like how you do not interrupt and let him respond.

[@MsEldorado]

Such a wonderful conversation. Thank you Andre for being a great host and Matthew for being so honest and vulnerable

[@endlesssmile8905]

What a illuminating conversation. Really got a lot of value from this one. Thank you Matthew and Andre!

[@Jaepears]

I'm tearing up by the vulnerability shown and felt...beautiful, thank you both!

[@Justwatchingtv008]

I hope this show becomes available on hulu, prime, netflix. I truly appreciate it & all the information I learn from the guest.

[@morganelise5407]

I started listening to Matthew about a year ago, and I’ve gotten so much value from his videos and interviews. This was the best one yet. The interviewer did an amazing job, and Matthew’s answers were so in sync with where I’m at on my spiritual journey. After getting out of an abusive relationship 1 1/2 years ago, I used that experience as a springboard to deeper healing, and I to the wonderful world of curiosity and “I don’t know.” The ending and the piece about chronic pain (physical and emotional) was 🤯🤯🤯 Also, right on time for where I am with my relationship with pain as well (and making the connection to the pain and stress and my “dis-ease” in my body)… I have no words. That was some profound stuff. I had no intintion of ordering your book. It just wasn’t on my radar, as I’m not “looking for love” any longer… and this interview made me realize I am. Of course we all want more love! I just am thinking about how juicy loving myself more is. And how wonderful loving my life more has been in the last year and some change… who doesn’t want more of THAT?! A greater relationship with yourself?!?! Like, it can keep getting better?! Sign me up! Thank you for this interview. Both of you.

[@KendraLock]

these amazing men brought me to tears. heartfelt conversation...just beautiful!

[@savannahaly]

Wow, I dont know what compelled me to watch this, this morning, but what a gift. Just in this past hour, I am putting myself back in the game ( it's something i have wanted longer than i can remember), and I'm buying the book and coming to the event. Maybe I'll even get to work with Matthew. Thanks Andre and Matthew for raising my standards!

[@corinaspfx]

matthew is the epitome of the wounded healer, he deeply understands the depths of pain and is so beautifully compassionate and pragmatic in his perspective - all of which is deeply healing ❤‍🩹

[@millaspuffs6744]

Thank you so much for the fantastic conversation!! Mathew is an outstanding writer and expert on relationships! I loved the book, and I'm passing it on to my daughter ❤️🙏

[@danutamicor7192]

Matthew, thank you for sharing honestly, I did similar things when I was a child, thought I was punishing others, but I really was the one punished, missing on so many things in my life. I still have to deal with it today, the memory, as I am not longer doing this but it is some regreat about stuff we did miss. Great interview Andre, thank you for putting this together.

[@NickieLove621]

Wonderful interview!!! Matthew provided sooo many “A HA” viewpoints. I already pre-ordered the book🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@fadwamollat3115]

One of the best stuff I’ve ever heard I’m going through heartbreak plus more and this has given me hope excitement for my future

[@janawinkel4803]

Thank you André. This is so precious. I love the people you bring on and your questions. 🙏🐛🦋🐉

[@juliaszabados148]

❤ it I’m in my 7th decade. Realistic wisdom so very well articulated. Ty both 🕊️💕✨

[@jennifercaroff9542]

Always had a secret crush on Matthew Hussey. Now I love him even more. ❤

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Thank you for this superb conversation. Loved the analogy of the dolphin and the mind-body connection

[@jokedesimpelaere179]

Thank you so much, this podcast saved a very important relationship in my life because it brought so much insights around my own wounds. Thank you Matthew for sharing your vulnerability, it saved a very beautiful relationship in my life. Thank you both for this profound healing experience! 🙏💗

[@Astral.Artistry]

Beautiful timing. Thank you!

[@annetteklamn1898]

Im a female age 58 widow who finally took the risk after 24 year marriage to get out there and date. I had a wonderful six months, but this person was a narcissist love bombed me at the beginning, and after the faded, we slowly went downhill he broke up with me, and I felt the rejection so deep that I realized my ADHD issues of rejection sensitivity dysphoria, and that took me into a whole other world of learning this last winter, I’m finally getting enough courage to leave and let go although he broke up with me. We stayed friends this whole last winter and I was hanging on and hanging on your talk today hit me and I’m excited for the book to arrive and I’m gonna be on that live coaching where you set me up for the next year cause I’m ready to take the steps thank you Matthew. You are an amazing person and I’m so glad you’re sharing your whole self in this book. I will respect every page love from Annette. Canada 🇨🇦

[@libbyschaefer7745]

love it thank you!! 🤩 I read the book and loved it, I"m in Matthew's online community and I appreciate the focus on healing, new beginnings and starting over as I navigate my own heartbreak and believe that better things are to come, thank you for this inspiring conversation, you two are a gift!

[@leannehorning6163]

This was an awesome conversation, thank you both. I will most definitely be getting this book.

[@skychavis392]

Powerful conversation guys. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@carolajakobsson7507]

Thank you for your interaction and The magic you created❤

[@JeannyK77]

I needed this. Thank you.

[@minouj1595]

The more I listen to this dating coach though very valuable the closer I got to differentiate between a dating coach and a love coach. Very interesting! A love coach transcends it all! True lovers may or may not need to date. They live life in love that’s it. All the insights I get here are serving me in that direction therefore very valuable to me! We need love to date but we don’t need to date to love! We need to date a certain age but we don’t need age to love. We need to date only people but we don’t need to love only people. We need a partner to date but we can love anyone even alone! I didn’t know the difference until recently and it helped me know who I am - a powerful love coach! In my eyes, I prefer to love than just date! So thank you very much! You opened up my path by making it clearer.

[@astridolsson1195]

Amazing! So relating to ”the wall ” and also the last part with rat A & rat B. Applies to all in life! Time to read your book and find courage to face myself🙏🏻❤️

[@friederikesonne1954]

Great conversation. Many thanks for this gift.🎉

[@dr.consuelobonillas9841]

Thank you. What a wonderful podcast. I am a college professor in public health and I will be sharing this with all my students.

[@shylocat]

Woow just woow. He is speaking my words. My heart is breaking and mending at the same time. Thank you so much 💓

[@taviimihaimsc]

this is mega. Thank you Andre and Matthew

[@jocdran5599]

Discovered Matthew on another podcast 2 days ago and I was so impreesed. Wanted to hear him again. And again... I am 68 and he just gave me the answers to my long years of questionning. I would have had a better love life had I met him younger. But better late than sorry! Will defenitely buy the book and really read every word carefully. By the way, I am French speaking and living in Quebec, Canada. Thank you so much for being part of this world. Great interviewer. So fascinating and loved every minute of it. Success to both of you. Jocelyne

[@corinaspfx]

game changing conversation - thank you ❣❤‍🔥

[@yvettedaliz1286]

This is everything I didn’t know I needed to hear!

[@AmenAmenAmen2010]

Thank you for this amazing talk! It’s great to work towards a more deep more connected and reflected understanding of us, our loved ones and those we meet on the journey of life! 💙💚

[@scolejnik9923]

Fast forward to the end..... lovely questions

[@ResuTech]

amazing questions in the end, great interview and a lot of appreciation to Matthew!

[@thefirstdraft4335]

This was really beautiful & timely 🤍

[@elainegeber4604]

Thank you, your words are like magic in my life.

[@GlobalPatternsStudio]

This has been a beautiful podcast with a lot of acceptance, love and taking responsibility. Lovely to listen 2❤

[@pattysinnett1510]

Really loved this !!!❤

[@chloeclo8958]

So much wisdom in this whole thing, one of M’s best interviews, thank you both so much 🙏☮️💖

[@lisalaw3379]

Loved this podcast ❤

[@mayhtoo3576]

Super conversation about love&life,Congrats!!thank you Audre& Matthew,highly appreciated!!❤

[@ledbythespirit29]

That episode was so helpful , would be nice to have Mathew back again :)

[@SurfNawls]

❤thank you for the beautiful insight

[@MourningCoffeeMusic]

Power conversation, as per usual 🖤🙏🏼🌟

[@pamconlin-casarez7254]

This was great, thank you. I just pre-ordered the book on audible.

[@OnThePulseTV]

I hate the words I don’t know!!!! I love the words: I WANT TO KNOW…I WANT TO FIND OUT… I WANT TO STAY CURIOUS… FOR (MY) LIFE!!!!

[@ClaudiaLopez-lm2cs]

Thank you, excellent podcast.

[@Yeodoongiiie]

omg haha.. "i don't like me... but i hope YOU will..." so true... you have to love yourself first.

[@marthalopez6662]

Thank you Andre, I appreciate this reflection with Mathew Hussey, will be getting the book.. first time I visit your channel & I subscribed 🫶

[@QuantumHealingLounge]

Great conversation and also killer lighting on your podcast.

[@PeterKae]

I agree!

[@juliebethramsdell6332]

Thank you Matthew for reminding me about William Zinzer's book, On Writing Well. Worth a reread. Beautiful conversation, gentlemen ❤🙏🥰

[@MindfulLove__]

Great content! ❤

[@michelebrock8381]

You are so awesome. Thank you for this. So touching and illuminating

[@judymorgan7051]

Great job!!

[@durgaya8987]

THank you. Wonderfull program

[@electrobite673]

❤Bless you Mathew, you're simply amazing.❤

[@marialucas1810]

There are a couple of past relationships I'd think "wrong time, wrong place" but now will give them no more mental energy - because they weren't for me 🤷🏾‍♀️ The release is great 😄

[@sharonnoon3744]

U are so inspiring ❤

[@katherine_art05]

❤ thank you! 🎉

[@janawinkel4803]

I strongly believe there is evolution and for me it includes the conviction that everything grows and gets better and better... So, let's imagine our Ideals being lived by us truly and fully. Self-realisation is the highest goal. ✌️ ✨🐛✨🦋✨🐉✨ Thank you very much for this great interview. 🙏🙏🙏

[@mklove8]

The Collective Consciousness of Love brings our partners to us. There is nothing we have to do but to love ourselves with Divine God Love. I promise. Every day focus on bringing joy to your life, prayer, meditation with loving every cell of your body. This is the recipe to manifesting a true love for our hearts. 🥰

[@jaimekatz6645]

Thank you!

[@jocdran5599]

I have known for years, I was repeating a pattern but have been asking for years also ok I have this pattern but how do I break the chain??? Matthew just gave me the answer with "the wall". Very gratefull. Thank you for your work and book that will help me break the chain. ❤

[@ilianahernandezb1850]

Amazing!!!

[@thaliakate444]

I like the new Matthew. V3.0 👏🏼

[@mayhtoo3576]

Thanks Andre😮

[@aletfbi465]

Just bought the book❤

[@stephanielondono3383]

I would listen to a whole episode on tinnitus and narcissistic relationships… I can’t believe it came up ..

[@DaisyPeel]

You're never actually "ready" to become a parent. To a large extent, you become ready when you need to. The ability to "control birth" with birth control has allowed the fear of parenting to overwhelm the reality that at any point, you can decide or be forced to grow up, and that's been an important impetus for many throughout history to learn how to parent. (It has also scared many to run away and be bad parents, to be sure). Wanting the "maturity" of an older woman without being willing to do the work to grow up and be mature enough to face parenthood is just so so self-centered, and men need to acknowledge that before messing with women. Kudos to Andre for at least having the conversation quickly.

[@thebrooklynalchemist111]

I love being alone so much, that I often turn down what were probably great opportunities. After watching this podcast Im more open to exploring my options. Key moments had me laughing as I was married , have had five children, and those things are off my table, but often younger men are into me, and i think....no no no .... youve got to have your children on your timeline 😂

[@arvinsenglishph4925]

He's so handsome ❤

[@TaDAbyKAT]

so true Andre… do you know who self is the most important thing before we start looking. I would love to come on your show and talk about my chapter and my latest book miracles online, finding through and lasting love and digital world, the most important part to me is the self work.

[@summmer77]

1:17:00 wow rat A : pain into power 1:20:00 WOW: REMOVING THINGS FROM MY LIFE❤

[@user-xp7yy3py5o]

Such wonderful conversations on this channel. I’m old now likely too old for this to apply but twenty or fifty years ago if I could have taken it in, wow. Will he talk to the misfits, the ones who feel less than, oh well.

[@thatsmellsdivine]

Watching this video is like swallowing a bunch of jagged bitter pills, while knowing I needed the medicine. Thank you.