Are You a Guilt Tripper? Dr. Julie Hanks on KSL TV's Studio 5

Often, when we explore relationship topics, we spend our time trying to figure out how to deal with problem people, well, what if you're the problem?
Studio 5 Contributor Dr. Julie Hanks says using guilt is a form of emotional manipulation.
More from Dr. Julie Hanks at wasatchfamilytherapy.com and DrJulieHanks.com

[@alcudiababe1]

my nan asked a me a while back a question of what do i want. Completly thrown, i didnt know what to say and we changed the subject and moved on but the following week because id thought about it i came back with an answer and that was to feel in control, to feel in control of my own life

[@alcudiababe1]

well actually this was why i ended the relationship with someone. She was a sweet girl and i did like her but it came to her birthday and we had been having some problems anyway but when she said i was her only option for going out to celebrate her birthday and that ultimatetly if i couldnt id be held responsible. It felt that she was putting it all on me and because i have had a toxic relationship in the past i was a little bitchy to her - i dont think she understood that and im sure she sees me horribly now but i wasnt going to go out with her because of her making me feel guilty - but the stupid thing was i was oringinaly going to go out with her and when she said i was her only hope it felt like she was manipulating me so i didnt - manipulation on me even from my mom does not work - i wont do something out of a guilt trip

[@alcudiababe1]

actually im not a mom and that is not my style if my kids in the future come to me on sunday tea time and they're only doing it out of obligation and their hearts not in it i would feel hurt. This is centred alot around moms here, yes i have answered yes to a few questions but its only because the control gets taken out of my hands so i feel i need to encourage empathy so i get a song i want played at my wedding or whatever - i look to who is pulling the strings because im not pulling any strings and what i want is to be in charge but instead of thinking like that, i have to try and remind myself its my wedding its my life i can have what i want and people in my family do encourage that and remind me its what i want but usually when its out of line with their expectations they want me to change my view or what i want most and im scared because i fear its not going to happen so i go to the more lient person. It is cos i dont like conflict and im not comfortable around conflict and i get overly sensitive and i have a hard time with my feelings and esp when my thoughts are being dismissed ignored and i want a say in my life but usually its been your mother knows best in the past - and then usually she uses guilt trippers to get you to do what she wants but i refuse to do that be manipulated by guilt because it feels sometimes like emotional blackmail if you dont do this i wont take you to the doctors tomorrow find you own way there. And even when i say ok i will its dont be so stupid so when i am prepared to make that independant decison of taking myself to the doctors i have been told not to be so stupid and make your Mother happy